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Chalant
Last Activity:
Oct 15, 2014
Joined:
Dec 30, 2010
Messages:
39
Likes Received:
0
Location:
India
Occupation:
Student

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Chalant

Active Member, from India

Chalant was last seen:
Oct 15, 2014
    1. Darkrai'sShadow
      Darkrai'sShadow
      If you're starting over with the same story that has been improved, then I believe it's entirely alright to start a new thread for it as long as it shows definate improvements. If you're not sure, then you can also ask one of the mods. Tell me when you post it. :)
    2. Darkrai'sShadow
      Darkrai'sShadow
      One review posted. :)
    3. Darkrai'sShadow
      Darkrai'sShadow
      Could you maybe VM or PM me when you post your next chapter?
    4. Darkrai'sShadow
      Darkrai'sShadow
      I'll read it more thoroughly when my school work isn't devouring my time. All writers improve with experience. You wouldn't belive how bad I was when I started out. For your first fanfic, you're doing amazing. :)

      One last little thing: I'm a girl. xD
    5. Darkrai'sShadow
      Darkrai'sShadow
      Hello there. I'm a person who enjoys writing fanfics. My current project is in the first person view, like yours. You don't always have the problem, but it is evident here and there in your chapters. You use "I" too much. An example from the first chapter is this:

      "I had some money which I had received on my last birthday, when I turned 13."

      There are three I's in that one sentence. I know it's difficult to avoid using "I" but it's generally recommended to not use "I" too much. To avoid using it too much, you can reword the sentence. It'll make it more interesting and less repetitive. Here's the same sentence that I reworded:

      "I had some money which had been given to me as a present on my 13th birthday."

      Avoiding the overuse of me's and my's are hard too. :/

      Anyway, when you're writing future chapters, reread the chapter. If you notice that "I" is being used too much, you can consider different ways to reword the sentence and your writing will improve alot! :)

      Keep going with the story! To me, it's a bit more original than you may think. :)

      ~ Darkrai
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  • About

    Location:
    India
    Occupation:
    Student
    Favourite Pokémon:
    Hydreigon
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    Pokemon X and Y. That sets the tune for the next 13 games.