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  • Alright, thanks! I understand a bit more, and i've made some changes to my writing.
    I've seen your review, and while i'm not replying on it in the thread (due to busyness) I would like to ask for some advice, if possible. Could you give me some help as to how to paragraph my writing. You seem to pick on that every time, and while i think it's fine (I'm breaking my speech up more) I would like to know how to improve.
    Heh, I'm surprised that not only did I manage to get the chapter out yesterday after all, but I'm also surprised you read/reviewed already. XD I appreciate it! Now that I've updated, I've been thinking about the prologue a bit today. I do think there needs to be some kind of prologue bridging the gap to have Annie questioning Kyurem in chapter 1 make sense, but... I'm not sure if there's a relatively painless way for me to cut down some parts to save for later and then make simple coherency edits, lmao. If you don't mind me asking, did you think there were any particular parts that could've been placed elsewhere? As in, save Kyurem's POV for later or the third person narration for later? Or something like that?

    I think you're the first person I've heard say that the pokemon designs in gen 7 were good. XD But yeah, I'm sure the games only covered the very surface of the plot/characters because it's the kind of plot that can easily become insanely dark and not-so-G-rated. x_x I can understand why you'd be having problems there. Re: Lysandre, you've got me curious now as to whether or not you think you'll write about Kalos eventually? I... still haven't read a journey fic set in the Kalos region, I don't think. Which is disappointing, because I jumped on the Kalos region before X/Y were even released and haven't seen much in that time that isn't anime related.

    Oh, nice. :3 I forget what chapter # I'm caught up to, but I don't think I'm far behind. At any rate, looking forward to it! And by that, I mean I'm looking forward to having all the feels about said road trip through fake America even if it is depressing. I kind of was wondering this, too, and since the topic came up, does this mean what you post is typically a first draft? The topic came up on Serebii's fanfiction Discord the other week and I was surprised to see that posted first drafts aren't as uncommon as I thought.
    That's great! And on top of another new fic, I'm just going to have all kinds of awesomeness to look forward to. 8D Yes, that means I'm definitely following Arbitrary Execution - haven't read any of it yet, but there's some things you just know. And, just curious - how many chapters of Go Home are there total? And ooh, as a shiny hunter, I'm disappointed in myself for not noticing the shiny venipede reference. XD I always thought they were pretty sickly looking as well. A+ reference.

    It's too bad indeed. :/ But! I do feel like this version's going along better, writing quality-wise and it feels a lot more focused overall. I'm still torn on the pacing, as are my reviewers, apparently, but... Well, I already went back and cut out the repetitive stuff that was bogging things down, so I'm just gonna push forward at this point and see what happens. With any luck, a new chapter will be out early this week, seeing as I have one short scene left to go and my beta will be out of town for a while starting tomorrow so I'm considering it a deadline.

    Yeppp, I appreciate those stories too. I get that it can be hard to delve into what you know if what you know is painful, but... Dissociation is already an escape from reality in and of itself, and seeing as that's usually an uncomfortable experience, I don't really want to go searching for more reality escapes. :p And lol, that is very true - and even with that list, I see a lot of debates about Lillie, Gladion, and Lusamine seeming like real characters from Sun/Moon. But yeah, it's easier to pull plot points from the franchise than characters, I agree, and though there's always the possibility of using OCs, plot is still usually the focus.
    I do remember Shane's comparison, now that you mention it. And the venipede's body is described to be in terrible decaying shape, just like Gwyneth's (in her opinion, her body's in terrible shape, anyway - I find it interesting how you incorporate several different people's judgment on her appearance), which heavily implies that the venipede's not quite that lucky, along with, you know, her being used to eating garbage. XD I guess it's just that the venipede's not particularly able to speak for herself as to how she got in the position she's in, whereas we get tons of details about Gwyneth's life revealed in each chapter. So the two of them being alike can be overshadowed by other themes, at least for me. Anddd for what it's worth, though, I agree that venipede was the best choice out of those three, heh.

    Yeah, that's a good way of handling critique. I try to look at critique that way myself now, since I'm usually in the mindset of "if someone says I'm wrong, I must be wrong" when it comes to critique about important parts of my fic. LaON's rewrite was actually, uh, inspired by (I use that term loosely) a reviewer who criticized nearly everything about the fic. I took it to heart even though that reviewer just wasn't a fan of the genre LaON falls under, and even though all of their reviews, for any fic, are pretty negative.

    Heh, I'm glad character-driven works have some audience, then! I guess it makes sense that plot-driven stuff is more common if people use reading/writing as a sort of escape from reality. Character-driven stories generally have a greater basis in reality, whereas with plot-driven works, you can veer away from reality as much as you want, especially with the fantasy/science fiction genres.
    Heh, since I have an awful lot of trouble with describing landscapes, maybe I too should write about a traveling protagonist who gets emotional about landscapes, whether they're in America or not. ;P Gwyneth herself seems to get emotional over some of the places she's at, particularly if she's already been there, like the Pokemon Center in Nimbasa. (I did read the latest chapter and plan to review soon! that venipede tho pls don't let anything bad happen to it we talked about gwyneth getting unlucky not the venipede too nooo)

    I suppose it depends on the topic, but the "willingness to be proven wrong" part of that can be tricky. I've been thinking about some critique I'd gotten a while ago, so that part stuck out at me, heh. :C I don't mind being proven wrong about a totally practical concept like how to build a fire in the great outdoors because I've never done it before and the world of Pokemon doesn't call for me trying to invent a whole new way of building a fire. But I tend to be a bit more reserved if people criticize how I handle a topic like, say, mental illness, since anyone who has one experiences it differently.

    Again, I appreciate it! I consider it a great accomplishment that I got someone to enjoy all three of my stories even though they're all vastly different (at least, in my opinion they are - the main connector for me is that they're all character-driven). And yeah, not sure if you've seen the review thread lately, but I agree with some people there that you don't have to have a huge, in-depth review to help an author or just let them know you're reading. Any comments count! And thanks re: the awards and a big congrats to you too! I was also happy to see Time and Tide do as great as it did. 8D Definitely one of my favorite fics I've read, hands down.
    Oh. Well. Just kidding, then. XD And for what it's worth, I don't think Gwyneth's gotten "lucky" in an unrealistic or unbelievable way. There's good people in the world, people who want to help, and she's run into them more often than the opposite type of people thus far. And do you mean Gwyneth's the type to have bad luck and have awful confrontations, or that she's the type to start them? XD

    Ah, yeah, if you're a kid, you probably don't care where you're going, you just care about what you see in the moment. I did have a visitor from the UK a while ago, and he was pretty surprised by how, uh, bare my state was. (I was near Chicago at the time.) I don't think he'd seen so much flat land in his life, lol. Not that all of America is flat land, but the surprise was amusing.

    Okay, that comment made me laugh. XD I don't think anyone writing fantasy (I do consider Pokemon fanfic part of a fantasy genre) could strictly stick to writing what they know, haha. And yeah, it's pretty tedious, and besides, writing what you don't know, to me, is an equivalent of "broadening your horizons" or whatever that phrase is. You can learn to put yourself in other people's shoes a lot easier that way.

    Lol, well, I did see your FitD review, which I will respond to soon! :D And now I think about it, you're one of the only people (that I know of) who follows all three of my chaptered Pokemon fics... which is pretty cool. So thanks again, it means a lot. 8)
    It's still pretty cool you go to visit. :D Where in the U.S. did you visit, if you don't mind me asking? And heh, well, your American friends seemed to give good enough answers for you to write the setting you're writing so well. XD It does at least look like you know what you're talking about, anyway. The idea of writing only what you know is a boring one, anyway. You can learn a lot about writing what you don't know as well. 8D

    The biggest jerk Gwyneth has encountered so far, to me, has been the venipede, lol. I'm not sure if that counts. Not all of the humans have been particularly, 100% kind to her, but they haven't been downright awful yet in my opinion. So I'd be interested to see who you're thinking of in terms of "that's already happened," heh. I just keep getting the sense that everything's going to completely, finally fall apart somewhere down the road - I just don't know how far down the road that'll be, or what will be the final straw. I did wonder if Gwyneth would actually make it to the wedding or fall just short or give up, and your message confirms she'll make it, and maybe not in one piece. ...Sorry, Gwyneth, but I can't wait to see how the story goes.

    Aw, I didn't know you make plushes. :3 That's pretty cool! I've always thought that if I wasn't poor and if I didn't have a pet bird that would tear them apart I'd totally collect pokemon plushes. And heh, I'm sure your letter recipients enjoy your doodles. Birds and sea monsters of any kind are awesome.

    I put the letter on the backseat for now in favor of LaON and an original fiction contest I'm entering, but it's definitely coming along. XD And I'll look forward to your comments! No rush on reviewing if things get busy for you again, though.
    Indeed, and it did work when I tried it last night! Slowly, slowly making progress on the next letter... but yeah, the idea of actually using pen and paper to write seems to be dying out in general, whether it's to write letters, do schoolwork, or whatever. Emails and the like are more convenient with the "write and delete method," like you said, but you sound pretty dedicated to rewrite the whole letter to your liking before sending it off. XD

    That makes sense, and I've always loved seeing your fics come to a close (not because I wanted them to end, but because it's so rare to see a completed fic, lol, much less ones as riveting as yours). Sounds like you're more or less talking about overarching plots for a story (we did talk about remembering the more finer details of a story before, and if I'm remembering right your memory's pretty good so you have minimal notes XD), and the thought process makes sense. I do wonder how many fics wouldn't have even been started if people thought more about the idea of seeing the fic through to the end. :C

    I might've asked before, but have you ever visited America before? And on the America, I'll be interested to see if Gwyneth actually runs into someone who's just downright awful to her. She's been somewhat lucky so far (you don't meet people like Shane or Saadiyah everyday), and I've only ever lived close to cities but not in them so I've never experienced this, but I hear all the time that people are extremely rude and grumpy to others in the major cities (Chicago and New York, namely). At the same time, I get the sense that her whole plan is going to fall apart inevitably, and that could happen in so many different ways. XD
    Heh, well, I did start the latest letter for Flying in the Dark and tried the writing and cutting style, which was kind of easy, since the characters are super wordy anyway and I can go as crazy as I want knowing I can probably get more good writing in than bad. I do try to hoard ideas to look back on for inspiration if I'm stuck, but I should probably work on identifying whether or not I really would use that idea in the future. My files are getting too big to manage. XD

    I agree about them making Unova really American, so it makes sense, what you're trying to do. For what it's worth, I think it's coming off really well so far. I'm currently in the middle of reading your latest chapter, so expect some comments soon. :3
    Heh, yes, editing does help, though I'm afraid I'll start obsessively editing without producing any new material, given how much I've been doing it recently. Writing it anyway and cutting it is a good idea, though, one I might steal for myself if you don't mind. XD On a slightly relevant note, you mentioned trying to make the writing in Go Home more Americanized. Do you want me to point out where things could be changed to be Americanized? I've only seen one UK phrase so far that I'd never seen and looked up, but yeah, I thought I'd ask.

    Heh, that's fair. XD And there's plenty of time for the voting stage so procrastinating there is a-okay, probably.
    I've gotten some comments about how LaON's revised chapters are kind of repetitive with Annie talking about and dwelling on the same topics over and over, so I'm going back to cut down a little before working on the next chapter. That may or may not contribute to making it seem like it's a little less familiar territory for me, who knows? I know I personally tend to go in circles and ramble when I'm trying to justify something I did/said/felt. XD But I'm glad to hear you think it's not too bad so far. I kind of view SP/PP as the stories that help me try to put into words how I view and feel about the world, whereas the constant questioning of reality and the constant questioning about what's happening in the present moment in LaON (at least in the revisions, I didn't go too crazy with it in the original) demands that the world explain itself instead. Which, for me, is not something I'm as confident writing. ...If that makes sense.

    XD Well, the deadline is usually guaranteed to be pushed back, but you certainly didn't procrastinate this year! I think you were the first to nominate this time around, if I remember right.
    That is true. XD To avoid that, I try to just type up comments as I go and quote the parts that inspired said comments. I don't really expand on anything much except a brief overall comment at the end. Otherwise, I find myself struggling to remember what I wanted to say, and thus, procrastination seems fun. But yeah, I like awards time partly because I get to hear about readers I didn't know were reading. I'm sure I'm not the only one. XD

    Hey, I know what you mean. XD I've found that my least experimental fic (LaON) is actually the hardest for me to write for some reason. You'd think it'd be the opposite, but... nope.
    Heh, I'm a fan of the name. XD And I was also going for a name that related to black/white when naming the antagonist. And you just can't get enough of the experimental fics, huh? ;) I'm halfway through chapter 2 so far, and here, I'll just say I'm a big fan so far (as I am of all your works, really, lmao). Anddd I know what you mean. I caught up on fics after not reading for a full year, and now I'm trying to make sure that does NOT happen again. XD At any rate, thanks for the nominations for my fics, it means a lot that you're reading and keeping up to date with them. :3
    Lmao, I literally finished reading chapter 1 of Go Home right after you posted chapter 2. So I'm going to hold on that review till I read chapter 2, but in the meantime, I'm laughing because my antagonist for one of my fics is named Corbin and now I'm just imagining him as a munna causing shenanigans with a mincinno as his sidekick.
    Congratulations! Glad you enjoyed doing it so much. Expect me to finally catch up and review the whole thing when I have the time. Which is a bit fuzzy, but I'm determined.
    Gosh dang, if I heard right you finished Time and Tide? Remind me to get on reading and reviewing the final product when I have the time.
    It does make sense. The limitations also help me to narrow down my ideas better, something I generally have trouble with - instead of trying to map out all the different possible routes I could take with a certain idea, I can generally tell from the start whether one route will work based on the style I'm trying to use. And I've always thought that without experimenting with different styles I highly doubt I'd have been able to come up with many interesting ideas for 3 journey fics (or 4, I guess, though the 4th is just a vague idea still). :D

    Thanks, I'm glad you think that works well in Flying in the Dark. :D Whenever I write Haley or Markus, I always wonder if people might find them... I don't know, unrealistic, because of the way they interact. They just met and are already telling each other some personal things, after all, and Markus has definitely got some dissociation issues (something I think people have trouble understanding in general) that complicates almost everything he says. Haley's naivety and trusting nature could easily put off readers, too, I think.
    I thought I'd replied to this and then saw that I, in fact, did not reply to this. Oops. That's okay, though, since now (as you know) I'm all caught up with Time and Tide. XD At any rate, the coincidences aren't too glaring - when you're reading a pokemon fic, there's gotta be some suspension of disbelief no matter what's happening. I think they're only really glaring at all to me because Avice makes it a habit of pointing them out fairly consistently when it's not necessary (which may or may not be intentional, since as you said you tend to repeat things without realizing it given the length of the fic thus far). She blatantly points them out, then skimps over them like "yeah, that happened," then moves on. But there's so many other parts in the story where she shows she's grateful and thankful to the ghosts/Edie, and she's gone on several philosophical rants about how life is unpredictable. So I don't think she shrugs off the coincidences entirely or considers herself completely invincible because of her luck, but the parts where she blatantly points them out are generally lacking impact and insight. ...If that makes sense at all.

    Heh, I honestly don't remember their interactions in RSE or even ORAS, even though I didn't play the latter too long ago. I only remember vaguely that Archie was borderline obnoxious and Maxie was more reserved. In general, canon characters in pokemon don't catch my interest - they're all pretty bland and hard to work with, but I was on board with you writing about them from the start since you did it so well. ^^

    I'm sure everyone's first attempts at writing weren't the best, really (or so I hope so I have less to be embarrassed about). XD But yeah, I've been writing for 15 years now and I feel like I still have a long way to go, so I get that feeling.
    Ah, okay. I'll be particularly interested in that third arc! I'd been wondering if all the coincidences had some bigger meaning behind them, especially since Avice makes it a point to write about them... I would've been really surprised and - not gonna lie - a bit disappointed if they didn't. The ghost mystery is intriguing as well. I can't say I'm the biggest fan of canon characters being prominent characters in a story, but... I've really come to love your interpretation of Maxie and Archie. Zinnia just showed up so I can't say much about her yet. ^^

    Ohh, I see. I kind of remember you mentioning writing original works a long time ago now that I think about it. That's awesome! The epistolary genre needs more love. And I'm glad to hear you're enjoying Flying in the Dark. It's probably the fic I'm least confident about, to be honest... partly because of the genre's limitations. I've read some epistolary novels while writing it (a few having letters being sent back and forth, and a few one-sided like the one you're writing - which, incidentally ended up being my favorite compared to the back and forth format) but there's not really that many out there that I can find anymore to get a better idea of how others deal with the limitations. Ah, well. Just means I'll have to be more creative.

    I haven't read all the works you've posted in the past, but from what I have read, I can tell you're definitely not afraid to stray away from the norm to try something different, which is awesome to see from both a reader and a writer's perspective. Experimental works are my favorite, if you couldn't tell. XD

    I hope so as well!
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