You mean Looker? He was pretty cool in that chapter, I like how you gave him a ditto for the whole, super awesome disguise thing. You got his speech pretty much dot on, messing up his syntax so he's understandable but still not as bad as Yoda.
Thing with NPC's is, it's pretty hard to mess up their character because they have none to begin with, just by giving them more than one dimension or more than one line of dialogue, you've already done a good job.
It's hard to say really; all we know is that it is so many years after HG/SS but we don't know how many. Same goes with the player characters. We can assume and find evidence to make them a certain age, but you can never be sure until there's direct evidence ("I am blah blah age").
Yeah. What I was so rawr about with Bianca and her fanbase was everyone going, "Omg you go, girl, running away from home" when I was like, "Um, Wally did that first." His plot line was far more interesting than Bianca's, I think, though I suppose Bianca's was a tad more realistic on the situation. Her dad went out and tried to find her as most parents of runaways do while Wally's family did, well, nothing. The two do develop nicely though. People don't really consider him a rival because they think Brendan/May is the rival (and they were from the start) even though Wally replaces them after a while. I do have to say they really took that pokemon catching tutorial and put a creative spin on it. A whole character and his plot and his life were created from that tutorial. It's kind of neat.
I'm sure they'd find some excuse to make it so it's not so complex to trade with BW, or maybe just completely ignore the timeline. RuSaEm's proof of being the same time as FRLG was really side plotish. I actually can't even recall the evidence; I'll have to look it back up. It wouldn't surprise me if they used a time machine again, like in RBY and GSC.
I wonder if they would reboot gen IV ... Eh, I suppose a new system is bound to come out eventually (besides the 3ds anyway).
Dang it, Draco, I was about to finish reading and reviewing the first two chapters tonight, only for you to post Chapter Three! D: Slow down on the updates so slow readers/readers that have too much going on like me can catch up! XD I'll most likely post the review for Chapters 1 and 2 later tonight and Chapter 3 tomorrow/Sunday, though.
Susan made sense as a character, it's perfectly plausible for an entire character to be developed from an NPC. Look at Lull. Prime example.
My favourite Undella Town NPC is the one who says 'The Sea!' in a spiky dramatic speech bubble
Being who Susan was, namely "Daughter-of-mega-rich-family" she already had a "personality", it was up to you to expand that into arrogant yet still caring kid who maybe needs a lesson in humility. You did that rather well.
Matt didn't really have as much time to shine as Susan did so what little personality he had (sycophantic pizza delivery boy) didn't really matter in the long run, his actual character was used more as an example and conversation point for Black and Cynthia to butt heads on their ideals. Which in itself served a good purpose, so it's all good.
It's a good theory, and would make for a good fiction, but I have serious doubt about the remake being a sequel instead of, well, a remake. I'm also not sure where you got nine years. If I recall right
Red/Blue/FG/LG and Ru/Sa/Em --- start. Forgot what evidence there is for Ru/Sa/Em taking place as FG/LG off the top of my head.
G/S/C, HG/SS -- three years after R/B with evidence provided by the TR plot event
D/P/PT -- same time frame as HG/SS with the opening clip of D/P focusing on the red gyarados event in HG/SS
B/W -- three years after HG/SS and D/P
Gamefreak has no problems going back in time and jumping around, given that they jumped back for Ru/Sa/Em, then jumped forward again with D/P/PT. Plus it would make no sense to develop a new set of characters for what is presumed to be a remake, given that most of the remakes are just to introduce the new elements of the games to an older series (and to finally bring Hoenn into the DS world, since Hoenn is still the most annoying region to get pokemon from).
As for a new protagonist, I think they'll probably have a new character, though not sure who (probably May). Would be nice if they stuck to both of them, though. I'll be super angry if Brendan isn't there. Or some form of Brendan. I am interested in how they are going to handle the player protagonists; they are the first characters that were actually named and were given a role in game if they weren't picked.
Yesss, lamora's story. It was an excellent piece; I should really read more of it.
Linky. It's not the cleanest piece grammar-wise but the characters are pretty colorful and the author is good at handling multiple plot lines in plot lines in plot lines, and all the small details build together nicely.
Offtopic: It's weird, but I'm not in the Ethan = Gold camp, like how some people are Lyra = Krys for the sake that the anime showed both forms of "Gold" (Jimmy, who is Gold's first design, in the spinoff and Ethan as a battle opponent in one of the movies). Plus they don't look all that alike either. Also weird is that I like first-Gold/Jimmy better than second-Gold/Ethan.
I read that story you quoted about Red. I liked it lots but don't remember its title. :<
"Nameless Supplanter" is the name of the story. Besides the whole not naming the character thing, I always found the narrative interesting and the plot pretty original.
I only like that for Red/Blue and Gold/Silver (not Ethan). It sounds odd for everyone else, though that might be because I know they have actual names. If I ever did write a story about Black/Hilbert, I'd probably give him a middle name and have him introduce himself to others as that. Hilbert would be a name other characters would use to make fun of him, lulz.
My favorite story here uses a nameless character and only refers to him as "he" (no other pronouns, like "the boy" or whatever). It does make for an interesting read.
As long as you don't disregard the first few things, the actual canon things, then you should be fine, the rest is just speculation on my part.
I was just trying to figure out how many pages 23k would be and I have a story just over 8k and it's about 20-22 pages long which would mean it'll be around 70 pages when it's done, that's a lot of fic for a one shot xP
Also, if you don't use that swimsuit thing, I most certainly will.
I will most definitely read it, I may have to go back over and catch myself up on Similar Opposites.
Her childhood would have been strict with an emphasis on learning, she didn't feel wanting because she was vastly interested in what she was studying, she would have been quite lonely because of this though. There aren't many bookworms with big circles of friends after all. On the same token though, she would've been quite a tough kid who (when allowed to play outside) would have been the adventurous rough and tumble type. This alludes to the fact that perhaps the learning and the studying left her with a need to fill the few hours of play she could get with as much as she could experience, and living in mountainous areas (Celestic and east Eterna) and forested areas (West Eterna) would probably lead to a hell of a lot to explore, coupled with her natural scientific curiosity, she was probably never bored.
Oh gawd, I was looking on Bulbapedia to find out the above canon stuff and I found these quotes from B/W
"Hmm. This is difficult. I was greedy and bought a lot of swimsuits, but now I can't pick which one to wear."
"Here's my problem. I have a white swimsuit and a black swimsuit...Which one would look better on me?"
That's just blatant ship baiting xD
Okay, just reading about her makes me love her even more, her English name refers to the Greek Goddess Artemis, which is just win.
Anyway, enough rambling.
In Skogsra (I can't be bothered finding the accent for the a ) I have it that Cynthia lived for an amount of time in Eterna City, which is an old city, has references to the old myths and is at the base of Mt. Coronet. Perhaps between there and Celestic Town are where she developed her interest in myths and legends. I also have it that she spent a fair amount of time journeying with Gardenia and that the two are fairly close friends in the fic they explore the Old Chateau which both cements Gardenia's canon fear of the place and Cynthia's canon liking for myths etc.
The URPG, in its own strange way, is addicting. You get to role-play, battle others, write fan-fiction, and compete in tournaments and writing contests. In my opinion, there's always something to do.
Ooh, canon. I can't remember the last time I wrote something about Pokemon canon, or read, for that matter. It's certainly going to be interesting to read, that's for sure. And I think all long-term projects give us problems at least once in a while. Wouldn't be fun if it was easy, though. *thinks of all the trouble outlining plots has given xD;*
I'm glad to hear that; reviews always makes writing more fun. Sorry to hear you abandoned it, but, then again, I understand. I've abandoned quite a few over the years, yet writing them was still a great experience.
xD I TOTALLY get what you mean about something turning out longer than intended. It just seems like the inspiration and the ideas keep on coming until you have this monster of a story on your hands. I'll be happy to check it out; it sound interesting.
I'm a moderator on the PokemonElite2000 forums and on Bulbagardens as a moderator for our large-forum game called the URPG, or Ultra Role Playing Game. You basically capture Pokemon through a variety of ways (writing stories, taking part in a role-play) and battle. (What I especially like about capturing Pokemon through stories is that you get a nice, detailed review of your story.)
And let's just say I am glad to be out of high school. No marching band during the summer, no more classes full of annoying people, and I will no longer be seen as a delinquent first and a student later.
Of course; your story is great, and I'm a believer of being a constant reviewer rather than one that comments once and forgets about it. Treat others as one would like to be treated, right?
Life's being good to me, thanks for asking. ^^ I recently got out of high school, and I've been using the summer to catch up on some moderation duties on another forum. It wasn't until today I checked back on Serebii for fan-fic updates. (As I noticed this VM, I was reading the Review Exchange thread.)