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  • [ I remember how you liked the first chapter of my Orange Islands fic. But anyways, why are you ignoring me? Did I annoy or offend you in any way? ]
    [ Yes, it was a hug, but it was probably not intentional, most AmourShippers even seem to think it's an accidental hug. Ash didn't hug her on purpose.

    If you wouldn't be an AmourShipper, would you also think so? I think it's perfectly normal to ask someone to travel if you think he/she could be a good friend. At least, if I'd be in the anime Pokemon world and I'd meet someone who could be a great friend and traveling companion, I might ask him/her to travel with me.

    Will you answer my last VM from yesterday or not? >.< ]
    [ Ash didn't hug her, he just pulled Serena too hard, this wasn't intentional. He just helped her to get up after the injury she suffered.

    Asking someone to travel =/= love...

    Could you please answer my VM from yesterday? ]
    [ Well, brackets mean people can't see content of our VMs in their activity, at least that won't attract stalkers.

    I want to get critical reviews, pointing out every flaw they see, but not bashing. People can mention all mistakes while snapping at me, but they can also mention the same mistakes while saying it in a normal way, without snapping and without a personal attack. Constructive criticism without bashing. Do you see what I mean?

    Could you please reply to the rest of my post in which I answered your review?

    She and I started talking on Serebii in November 2012. I befriended her with the intention of getting another cool friend, but she quickly became more than that. She and I immediately trusted each other and talked about personal things we wouldn't tell others about. I normally never trust people, but I immediately trusted her, I immediately felt safe around her. She and I fell in love while talking, falling for each other's personality, not knowing each other's looks yet. On 30 January 2013, I finally had the guts to confess my feelings to her, and then, the happiest moment of my life was there: she told me she loves me back and agreed to be boyfriend and girlfriend. She got inactive on Serebii after that, so she and I talk on another site now.

    Well, you're lucky: my heart is broken while your new OTP is canon. ]
    [ I always use brackets, I hate getting stalked.

    Yeah, you're not the first person to think I'm female if I don't tell them my gender or if they don't look at my profile.

    I started writing fanfiction in July 2009 and gave it a try, it sucked, I got bashed and was so scared that I quit writing. In March 2012, I tried again and didn't get bashed, which led to a 42-chaptered PokeShipping fic which I finished about a month ago.

    I'm not bragging about a girlfriend, I'm telling the truth about my awesome girlfriend. <3

    Congratulations on Ash x Serena being canon. I'm heartbroken, my OTP PokeShipping is officially dead now... ]
    [ Thanks for accepting the friend request. Let's introduce ourselves to each other. Could you tell me a bit about yourself, just like I did in this message?
    - Favourite Pokemon: Milotic is my number one, with Bayleef, Dragonair and Altaria being second, third and fourth.
    - Gender: male.
    - Name: Pim.
    - Place of birth and where I live: Eindhoven, the Netherlands.
    - Date of birth: 28 July 1994 (age: 19).
    - I have Asperger Syndrome, a form of autism.
    - Hobbys: drawing, watching Pokemon anime, writing fanfiction, collecting Pokemon figures, gaming.
    - Since 30 January 2013, I have my first girlfriend, it's an internet relationship (she lives in Australia), it's definitely serious and true love. Her personality and appearance are perfect. Kind, understanding, honest, open-minded, no make-up, no fake tan, no push up bra, pure natural beauty and sexiness, cute smile, cute eyes, nice hair. She doesn't care much about looks and is a cute tomboy, I like that, personality matters much more than looks.
    - Main flaws: too unselfish, trouble with letting things go, I can't stand up for myself.
    - Qualities: extreme honesty, being a hard worker who isn't lazy at all, and that I've never felt group pressure, I've never tried fitting in or being popular, I don't care about that.
    - Taste in music: mostly old rock music.
    - Favourite bands/singer of mine: Queen, KISS, Pearl Jam, Guns N' Roses, Coldplay, U2, Bruce Springsteen, Bon Jovi.
    - Political preference: left-winged.

    As a PokeShipper, I'm heartbroken, Ash x Serena just went pretty much two-sided canon, judging by the episode pictures... ]
    Would you like a plot synopsis first to decide if it's actually something you're interested in? It's a bit of a time-consuming read so you might want to know what you're getting going in.

    I'm afraid I can't fairly answer that question right now; it's been too long since I read some of the chapters to say.
    Sort of. It takes place after an altered version of Best Wishes where the skipped episodes stayed in their original place and Episode N happened differently. Giovanni, Pierce, Dr. Zager, Matori (named Stacia because she didn't have a known name when I started), the Executives and the trio all appear in roles of varying size. The story isn't really about them, per se, but they play a big role in it. Maybe you'd like it, I don't know. I do try to flesh out Zager much more than the show did.

    I started reading yours when it first came up because it looked intriguing.
    Well, you're definitely creative. Even if I have complaints about some of the things you're doing, you know what you're doing. Also, I give you credit for being willing to use the BW Team Rocket. There needs to be more people who do.

    Your biggest weakness is probably that you seem to get a little ahead of yourself and post things before you really look them over and think about them. That covers both the plot holes I observed (such as Matori and Domino vanishing) and the grammar issues. I recommend you slow down and try to take things a bit easier, and get a beta reader if possible. That'll sort out most of your issues right away.
    Like I said, just feel free to ask me anything if you feel the need.

    And yeah, I've been around for quite a while.
    Just finished reading your reply, and I'm very encouraged. Your answers all made sense, and on the things I was confused by, you cleared them up quite well. I think you will do very well for yourself in the future.

    I can't promise that I can give you any reviews for the other chapters right away, because I've got other reviews and my own writing occupying my time, but I'll see about putting it on my to-do list. If you ever just want some advice on writing, feel free to ask me. I'd be glad to help you.
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