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LadyLady
Last Activity:
Aug 21, 2014
Joined:
Aug 25, 2011
Messages:
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LadyLady

Well-Known Member

LadyLady was last seen:
Aug 21, 2014
    1. Chibi_Muffin
      Chibi_Muffin
      Thanks! But don't worry about it. Like I said, I'm happy to help new writers out!
    2. Sid87
      Sid87
      I feel like the Internet is a bad medium for communication sometimes. I am not trying to be rude or anything. I promise. And like I said, it's no biggie from my end, so I wouldn't say anything to anyone else. I just wanted to let you know in the future that if you don't do what the person you are reviewing for requested, that person might complain in the Review Game thread. But sometimes I am bad at communicating, so my apologies.
    3. Sid87
      Sid87
      I'm not being ungrateful. I'm just saying, it's not what I asked for. I'm not going to complain on the thread or anything because it's no big deal, but I just wanted to let you know you didn't do what the post asked for. Other people might complain and have your request skipped, so now you know for next time.
    4. Sid87
      Sid87
      I was honestly hoping to get more than a review of one chapter, which was 2 pages long and way back at the beginning of the story, but...thanks? I guess.
    5. dirkac
      dirkac
      Oh, I don't mind at all! Actually, when I saw what the other posters posted here, I started going through your Fanfic, though in the first chapter, you appear to miss a lot. Such as forgetting apostrephies, these things ' . Or misspelling words or pokemon, such as evee, which should be Eevee.
      But, I did like how it started out, and while it was sorta Ash-like, you made it a twist by making his family give the pokemon.
      Also, I liked that you had him dislike Eeveein the beginning.

      If its true what the Previous Poster said, then I truly hope that there will be improvement between the first and the current chapter.
      Oh yeah, I'm sorry for being sorta nitpicky on this but, how about updating the chapters with better grammar and such?

      I do like your fanfic, I really do. I just found this to be some pretty big faults.

      Oh yeah, I accepted your friend request. And yeah, it's true. I do like fanfics a lot.
      Well, I'll look forward commenting again!
      :)
    6. dirkac
      dirkac
      Wow. Random friend request. Um. Do I know you? Or, do you just know me? And if you do, like um, how do you know me?
    7. The Great Butler
      The Great Butler
      Okay, so I'm reading through your story thus far, and I'm definitely seeing improvement from chapter to chapter. You still have room to improve, but you're on good footing starting out, so take heart in that.

      One thing that strikes me that you should work on right away is the battle between Jay and Clarissa. You started off with them well enough (and their characters were both relatively decently done) but the battle itself breaks game mechanics in more than one way. Not only does Lick not affect Eevee as a Normal-type, but Night Shade is also a Ghost-type move, so it shouldn't work on Eevee either. Curse should be the only of those moves that can hurt it.

      Anyway, just finished reading and I have to say that while there are some issues that need to be sorted out, it certainly has merit. Your primary weakness lies in grammar and spelling - things such as their/there and easily avoided spelling errors are major recurring issues so far. You could also stand to slow down a little and allow your world to develop more by describing everything a bit better. That said, however, you certainly are not doing poorly at description, so you're off to a good start.

      My biggest recommendation to you right now is that you get a beta reader. I would offer to do it myself but you update so rapidly that I could not keep up.

      I hope you find success.
    8. The Great Butler
      The Great Butler
      Hey, I got your friend request. You've really, really improved over the course of just a few chapters, so I'm really encouraged by the promise you show. Not to blow my own horn, but I've been writing for a while, so would you like any advice? I'd be glad to give it.
    9. Knightfall
      Knightfall
      I see, well I do have my own story and it's pretty successful.
      So if you ever want some advice on something, feel free to ask. I'll be happy to help.

      You don't have to send everyone a FR to get into the crowd. We're pretty friendly here, so a few posts in the Author's Cafe, and if you accept the help reviewers are trying to give, and you'll be fine.
      I saw the list my friend Azurus posted on your page and 8
      I honestly agree with parts of it.

      So like I said, feel free to talk.
    10. TheEliteEmpoleon
      TheEliteEmpoleon
      Oh OK. Well I was reading a few fan-fics and they all seemed to die out. Then DMerle started one that looked promising but he never updated it. The only one that I'm reading that is still going strong is The Nova Travels. So I guess I'll read yours now!
    11. Knightfall
      Knightfall
      Wow, two random friend requests in one day? How lucky can I get?

      Anyways, do I know you? And how do you know me? If I'm going to even begin to think about accepting this, let's talk first.
    12. TheEliteEmpoleon
      TheEliteEmpoleon
      Hey there. Thanks for the friend request, but why?
    13. Blue Saturday
      Blue Saturday
      Thanks for the friend request, why did you send me one?
    14. Mienfoomaster
      Mienfoomaster
      Do I know u, did u make any threads or stories?
    15. Chibi_Muffin
      Chibi_Muffin
      You're welcome! I'm happy to help out new writers. =)
    16. Azurus
      Azurus
      Oh? Is there a thread made for it that I could read it? If I like it, you could have yourself a reader and maybe someone who would support you in your story making.
    17. Azurus
      Azurus
      I don't know who you are, have I done something you like?

      Before I accept, I need you to answer these questions.

      1. Do we share common interests?
      2. Would we able to discuss these in an intellectual manner?
      3. Could I share my problems with you and recieve a reasonable response?
      4. Could you have my back in an unpleasant situation and be there to support me?

      If you answer no to any these, then I cannot call you a friend, we can still discusd things but you would not be on my list.
    18. Agonist
      Agonist
      that being said, I'm not opposed to adding people to my friend list, I just like to know who they are.
    19. Agonist
      Agonist
      I don't normally add people that I don't know, though, otherwise my friend list would be obnoxiously large.
    20. Agonist
      Agonist
      do I know you?
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    For everyone who likes stories you can read my first ever fan-fic here!​


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