Haha, well, I'm actually halfway through a review for that story--that's why I noticed your VM when I was checking out the author's profile. I generally don't review unless I can say something helpful, though--or have the energy to do so. Reviewing properly all the time is haaaard.
Ahh. It's just that the line 'There was nothing to say it was a story. Nothing at all.' implied that you thought there is absolutely nothing about the story to be saved, because it can't even be classed as a story; that's all. I do agree it needs work, but that's what reviewing is for. ^^
I'm not sure that I do. You seem to be separating grammar and structure from story and judging them as presenting a story on their own merits, when in fact it's all these things together which make the story: grammar, structure, characters, plot and all. You can say there were things wrong with it, but I don't see how you can pick pieces out and say that there was no story in them, when it's their relation to everything else which holds the meaning.