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NegaiFreak
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  • Cool.

    That sounds like it will be an emotional rollercoaster for Gingka, and maybe even Skyla too? I mean, if Gingka decides to solve his problem with a battle, then the one he REALLY wants to do would have to be when he wins, correct? Friends come and go, but that doesn't mean they're forgotten forever. But that's just me.
    *spits out water* Shorter?!

    Ehh, that's why I'm scared to write more Hetalia fanfictions; there's so many important characters, I might miss one and people will hate me.

    I just...I feel that you made her out for being more annoying and hollow then she really is...

    I don't know who she is, sorry...What's she from? Tsubasa's dark power...scary...and where does it come from, I can't remember...

    Ehh, just next time you write a fanfic like this, use less characters...so many...*faints*
    Why are your chapters so long. I mean. How. You write them so fast. What.

    Anyways...Last time I checked, Swift was like Aerial Ace in the sense that it never missed...So Galvantula avoiding the attack felt out of place to me. Not to mention...so many characters to keep track of! I can't criticize whether or not they're in character because I don't know over half of them...So I'll just be quiet.

    I couldn't help but notice the amount of one sentence paragraphs during sections of the story where there was dialogue...You should describe their environment, their tone, their movements, and mood. Of the speakers, I mean.

    The emotional...thingy...with the Connoisseurs, I just...I'm not too sure how I'm supposed to react to that...Burgundy isn't *that* annoying...Right?

    While reading Tsubasa battling TinTin or whatever his name was, I was sure that something like this happened in Beyblade...Like, he got really mad or obsessed with winning, and then he became all creepy and weird? And then the voice in his head, and I was like, "Oh geez it's happening again I'm scared now." I just skipped until the caps lock stopped...Tsubasa IS my favorite Beyblade character, but still...*shiver*

    Yeah...there's my analysis.

    I need more sleep...
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