on my 20th birthday i was fighting in the war. my men were ambushed and blown to pieces and i was the only survivor, unfortunately the blast was so powerful it burned my dick off. when i returned home my wife left me because i didn't have a dick anymore and nobody remembered my birthday except for my brother Dave who always supported me through these troubling times. he gave me this hat which he says he found in the garbage dumpster. two rats were mating inside it and there were some syringes in the hat as well but nothing a quick wash wouldn't fix. at least i think it was washed, can't quite remember
it's my most cherished possession because it was from the only person who remembered me on my birthday