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  • Your signature moves in Squad Submissions have been skipped due to inactivity. If you wish for me to review them, send me a visitor message or PM with a link to the post, and I will gladly review them for you.
    Well I really don't want players to be on the level of the Cipher Admins. That's like a video game starting you out on level with one of the bosses. There's just no challenge or dramatic tension in that situation.
    Okay, I'll review it later (not feeling too good tonight). I'm not sure about taking an agent from Team Rocket though, especially when I scanned through it and saw how powerful and high-ranking he was.
    Hi again! Didn't feel like cluttering up the Sign-up thread, but since your old character sign-up is missing anyhow, a new one would be fine.
    Uh...."Command RPG" as you said....already exists heavily here in Serebii. Heck, that's pretty much most if not all RPGs. Only, some GMs are open for suggestion. My RPG, for instance is entirely controled by me, IE the plot; no other player can control the plot. One reason being they don't fully know the plot as my rpg is a "discovery plot."

    However, efficiency is in the matter of the beholder. I've seen "command RPGs" fail.

    Besides, Wraughtwiler? Really? You should start at the level of Chiwawa before tackling them Wraughtwilers...

    I'll help you with constructing an RPG, but you need to figure out a legal plot, and skeleton for your RPG. I can't help you there.
    Shinichi, creating an RPG is an acquired talent, that more so requires creativity than writing. Before you work on an RPG, which requires writing a story basically, a plot, you should more focus on creating the character, the sign up.

    Those two things are completely different. GMing an RPG is a rather difficult task as well, it requires much time, you do A LOT of work for GMing an RPG.

    I can help you, give you suggestions, but I can't write you one, then it becomes not yours but mine.

    If you really want to know how to create an RPG, this is what you need to do:

    1. Come up with a setting, plot, and story

    2. Explain the setting, plot, and story, in about 500 words minimum for plot.

    3. Take the story you wrote, and explain it to your audience and readers, to make it understandable.

    4. Create the Sign up platform. Psychic's "Making a Sign Up" thread can help you there.

    Thus you have an RPG.

    I come here to help you not with the RPG however, but the making of sign ups, as that is what you should perfect before you start GMing. Everyone has started off writing somewhere down the line, you can't expect things to be handed to you however.

    It is a Dog Eat Dog World out there in the Writer's palace; many people fall and crumble; others succeed to great fortune making living legacies. How you decide to write dictates where you will be placed. Your RPG is your own idea, so asking people to help create it for you is same as asking one to do your Home Work.

    I will help you if you have questions, but you need to ask me said questions
    Shinichi Misao,

    I must say, you shouldn't delete your Sign up posts in RPGs you post, that is horrible etiquette, and kind of immature. It says a lot about your character as a person. You shouldn't hate your character and delete it, keep it, and improve upon it. If you keep deleting and just stay with the same old characters you won't ever improve and with writing, you always need to improve as it is an acquired skill.

    Not like you could banish it from my RPG anyway, since I quoted it, but still, I found it very unprofessional enough that I needed to call you on it.

    If you need/want help or anything, I can always offer a helping hand, and I am willing to help you work through sign ups in the future.

    Just don't delete them all the time; I may not be able to see them anymore, but the mods can, they can see all, deleted or not, you can't hide your past mistakes.

    Thank you,

    okay then. i saw your RP sample, and i gatta say, it is good! XD so if you want, then just change your SU a bit and you can join.
    I love mewtwo. he's the only Pokemon that can speak for his race among humans.

    And its not that, he simply then exercized once. When he was an infant he had back pains and was forced to use a whealchair. after his back healed though, he kept the chair and never walked. He simply sat and read books and worjk on his computer. When he left, Mewtwo made him travel on foot because the journey could not permit his whealchair. he is as thin as a rake. he normally stands their and supervises his pokemon's fights and they just go with the style of martial arts that he taught them. He can't do any himself, he just thought and taught.

    But all right, I decided to change Mewtwo into a rich girl who's his fiance and the two trained together while traveling. Teaching each other.
    What do you mean by "skill"? It doesn't matter how you slice it, the fact that your character is a child prodigy WILL be seen as powerplaying, the fact your character was raised by Mewtwo WILL be seen as powerplaying, and your character WILL be rejected. Why is it so important that these factors be retained? Can your character simply not survive otherwise? Revising a character so they're balanced is crucial to creating a character and for getting into RPGs.

    How is it that your character can be reduced to a skeleton just by sitting in front of a computer for so long? Did his mum simply neglect to care for him? Because if so, she wouldn't have sent him to primary school because apparently she doesn't care enough about her child to keep him well-fed. Did he never budge from his computer, not even to eat, drink or sleep? If so, he should be severely physically messed up: he should have RSI from where he's used the keyboard and mouse, photophobia (or aversion to light because he's spent most of his life in front of a single screen, presumably in the dark), cataracts (see above), and be as thin as a rake. He probably wouldn't even survive away from his computer, let alone be fit enough to battle. Even all that aside, what are you going to do if forced into a six-on-six match that could go on for some time? Hell, even three-round matches can go on for extended periods of time.

    I've made my stance on Mewtwo quite clear: you CANNOT use him. He is a Legendary, and having your character interact directly with him will result in the GM denying you and/or demanding you remove Mewtwo from your backstory.
    The technique choices where genius level. and he was 14 when he met Mewtwo. His major weakness is that because he spent most of his time on computers and reading books, his stamina is way beyond normal and if he exerts any excess effort in his battles, he'll collapse in the middle of his second match. Because of that, most of his pokemon's attack are their own choices.
    A child genius is also considered power-playing, as it's an unfair advantage over the other players if they were able to re-programme a computer while still in short trousers. The whole point of RPGing is that all the players are on a similar level, and that none of the characters are stronger than the others.

    Also, if he's an orphan, how would he be given permission to go to primary school? You need to have a parent or guardian to attend; you could say Mewtwo would be his guardian, but that wouldn't work because a) a pokémon cannot fill the role of a guardian. No matter how humanlike or intelligent it is, it is considered an animal, and b) Mewtwo allegedly took interest in Shinichi after he demonstrated his genius-level intelligence. He couldn't be his guardian before he demonstrates intelligence. Furthermore, you need written permission to take advanced classes at school, something a pokémon can't provide as it is a pokémon.

    And I covered the issue of Mewtwo in my last message: "In Mewtwo Strikes Back, his clones won through brute force, they were much more powerful than the other pokémon." If you watch it, all his clones do is push back the attacks (Venusaur knocks back a Razor Leaf with Vine Whip, Blastoise Rapid Spins through a Hydro Pump), or just wear them down through power (as his Charizard did to Ash's). It isn't genius-level battling, his were just much, much more powerful.
    ...And why did Shinichi pique his interest? What is so special about some runty orphan? That is ultimately the problem; your character is the apprentice of A LEGENDARY. That is considered power-playing. You can explain it as well as you like, the fact that you were taught by a Legendary will mean you will get denied. Also, having a dad that runs away wouldn't technically make him an orphan. He could be dead to Shinichi, sure, if that's what you're getting at. What would Mewtwo know about pokémon training, anyway? In Mewtwo Strikes Back, his clones won through brute force, they were much more powerful than the other pokémon. What could Mewtwo possibly teach Shinichi that he couldn't get from a trainer's manual?

    The scanner is still an issue. If he has to plan out his strategies beforehand, then why does he have to upload them onto some fancy gadget? Why can't he just memorise them before the battle, or write them down on a piece of paper? And wow, Shinichi sounds like a genius: he's able to come up with a hi-tech piece of technology, no matter how flawed, just by looking at a picture of a Pokédex and having no prior skill in craftsmanship or computing.

    If it sounds like I'm nitpicking, well, I am. But when you submit your sign-up to an RPG, the GM is going to do the same. Hopefully I'm giving you an idea of what to expect, and even more hopefully how to make a fleshed-out, balanced character.
    Wow, you sure took your time. And I will diss the Lone Wolf archetype, because they're all the same: they're dark and serious and cold, but on the inside they're caring and loving and sweet. It's been done about eighteen hundred times before and by now it's just become boring. It's not really creative. Also, I don't know what Godchild is; describing his clothes always helps.

    You also don't explain why Mewtwo would take him in. You say he "just continued travelling with him after", but why did Mewtwo, who chooses to keep his distance from humanity, just not bat him away? What is so special about this guy and what could Mewtwo teach him? How to sulk better? And of course, no mention is made about how he was orphaned, even though the orphan thing is old as the hills.

    There's also a big issue with the scanner, or rather several issues:

    1) it's overpowered. It's able to call up all data on all pokémon in existence without any go-ahead and come up with a battle strategy almost instantly.

    2) it makes the whole concept of pokémon training redundant. Part of battling comes from a trainer's own instinct, from coming up with their own strategies, unaided, in the heat of battle. If he just has to look at his DBZ Scanner, then he can't be a good trainer. Remember that episode where Ash fights a trainer who uses a laptop to help his Scizor fight battles? That trainer failed for a reason, because he relied too much on a machine.

    3) where the hell did he get such a wonderful toy? Were Silph Co. just giving them out on the street?
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