2. When it comes to description versus dialogue, if it helps, think of it like this. Focus more on the action, not the characters' interaction. Characters' actions and concerns become more natural when you make them react to the world around them, rather than interact with each other. So for example, when you have a group of protestors in front of a fire hall, ask yourself what the main action is. Chances are good that the main action is the protest. So it's the protestors' actions that should be up front and center stage, not the actions of the working srains. By focusing more on the action instead of the characters, you encourage yourself to break out of your characters' rigid social circles and examine the world around them in better detail.
Also, remember that your readers are not you, so you'll need to give them a lot of detail so that they understand how your world works, which in turn will give them a basic understanding of why characters act the way they do. Like I said, a lot of the prejudice and hardships srains face would make more sense if we knew the history behind the way they're treated. In this step, it's definitely a good idea to do a bit of research. For example, there seem to be parallels between the srain and the way African-Americans are treated. Why not do some research into the history of segregation in order to understand the kinds of things Nolafus and the srains like him face? Once you figure out how their real-world counterparts function, you can translate that into the way your species functions and begin work on figuring out when it's relevant to bring up. (Hint: For major details, you'd want to bring them up early. Minor ones can be sprinkled throughout the rest of your work, whenever they become immediately relevant.) Once you get started with that step, always ask yourself questions about what you're writing (Example: "Why did they do this?") in order to ensure that you've covered all potential plot holes.
1. Proofreading. There are three possible methods you could try. First, read your work out loud (even at a low whisper) to help slow yourself down, which in turn will force you to look at each sentence a bit longer. You can also add another pass after your initial proofreading, only in the second pass, you'd read each character individually, rather than each word. The third option is to find yourself a beta reader, which is what most fic authors outside of forum communities tend to do. The last option will require you to be a bit proactive in that you'll need to ask people you know if they'd be willing to beta read for you. There really aren't frequently updated, public beta threads in this fandom these days except for maybe the Writers of Justice. You can find more information about that group through the Fan Fiction Mafia. Or by asking Brutaka directly. Whichever works for you.
And I can see why things get a bit slower around here... but still, I suppose that you'll get good feedback for Alien Poverty here! (I'm not a fanfic writer so I can't give criticism, but enjoyed the story so far)
Hey, I gave your grass mono-team a rate. Also, people expect sleep powder on Tangrowth, so they taunt it. Surprisingly, I didn't find taunt very common when I started playing monotype using sleep powder on my Tangrowth around March.
Love how you've used Jumpluff and Tangrowth on your team though. They're very underrated threats.