R/B/Y rival:
Before battle: "Oh, you're finally here. Between the time it took you to get from Pallet Town to this route here west of Viridian City, I have cleared all Gyms, caught all 493 Pokémon, released them again, cleared the Battle Frontier, saved the planet from a meteor, beat Battle Toads, engineered a nuclear fusion reactor, found the cure for cancer and banged your mother. Twice. But cool of you for making it here."
After battle: "/care. Smell ya later!"
That was a hilarious post