Aaaaand sent!
Also, true. I probably shouldn't talk about your pear mercenaries, either.
And I will accept that answer. It's a shame that said read version will never happen unless I can bribe someone else to do it. I used to be able to do an awesome received pronunciation, but unfortunately, those days are long, long behind me.
And forget about a Scottish or a French one, too. I can do a Hispanic and a Southern one, though. That counts for something, right?
True to the note about activity. But just wait until Christmas comes along. ACTIVITY EVERYWHERE, RIGHT?
Also, ololololololol AND THEN TEN TIMES THAT AMOUNT OF VIEWS LATER... I can't really blame anyone, though. Like I said, people just flock to comedy fic, and for whatever reason, no one writes comedy. Or write it well, anyway. Also like I said, at least your fic is actually funny, so naturally, people just hop on board with it.
Lastly... WAT. How is that possible? I could've sworn there was a time when I reviewed everything, and I definitely read the beginning few chapters. This is going to be rectified. ಠ_ಠ