I've learned several very hard truths.
First off, leadership always comes with pain. You know what no matter how hard you fight, something will be lost in times of strife.
Secondly, when you lead, you lead more than just a group of people. Only a leader can understand this, and it brings pain when those they lead cannot understand this.
Third, those we lead are our brother and sisters of our fellowship. If we think otherwise, we're not leaders, we're tyrants.