I-I-I wasn't procrastinating and being forgetful!
(Okay, that's a lie. I was.)
(But I have now read it, and I've made some analyzations about it!)
The chapter was well written, I'll give you that. There were problems, however...You overused the word "screamed"; substitute some with wirds like, "shouted", "shrieked", "yelled", and if you really need to, "screeched". Also, I realized that there is also something else; please avoid using words like "sweatdrop" "anime vein", etc. etc. It really just makes it look unprofessional. (No shame in doing so; many fanfic writers who work with snime do this, and I did too.)
Trip seemed a little *too* cold here. Yes, I doubt he'd be too overly emotional, but he isn't void of emotion. He would at least be a little concerned about Tsubasa's condition. He isn't Paul.
Other than that, the characters I am familiar with seem relatively in character. I can't judge characters I don't know cvery well.
So, the opposing team is transferring Pokemon for every battle? If they learned what the rotation pattern was, our team would most certainly gain the edge. Though, it seems a bit odd. Is it against the rules?
(Also, yay, Yuu!)
Ash winning seemed too good to be true, though. It's a little silly for our Trainers to win thrice in a tow in battles that they had a relatively high chance of losing. Keep this in mind; try tossing in more loss scenarios for our team. It helps them grow as Trainers and people.
Let Trip win more. He loses too much in the anime
Welk, I'm half-asleep as I write this, so I hope it makes sense to you.
(Sorry about your brother being crushed in his game.)
~Moonlight