That was pretty good. My only issue is that some sentences containing descriptions of the Pokemon end up being run ons. For example,
"Hercules gestured to a small blue furred bipedal jackal Pokémon that was currently talking to a small brown owl like Pokémon that was keeping track of how much...
I never really had much trouble with any of the Gym Leaders, but Elesa did give me some trouble. That may have been due to my team lacking a Pokemon that could KO the Emolgas quickly.