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~¤Life of a Legend: Mewtwo¤~

lilbluecorsola

Binky-boo! <3
~¤Life of a Legend: Mewtwo¤~

A solitary figure stood in front of a small shop in a secluded part of town, the wide, store window he stood before divided by thin strips of mahogany wood. Each section was glazed over with the winter frost, glittering ice crystals forming lacy, intricate designs and patterns across the glass. Behind the fogged panes you could see a magnificent display of sweets and goodies, varying from hard candy to tarts to delicious bits of fudge.

And each time a distant bell jangled, it alerted him of a customer entering or exiting the store, all bundled up against the winter chill. Often times they would arrive in groups, chattering amongst themselves cheerfully. When they left, it seemed, their ecstatic shouts of joy were even more exuberant than before.

The being himself appeared rather awkward among such bright characters, garbed in only a tattered tan cloak draped across his shoulders. Yet it was enough to cover his form, in fact, shrouding most of his features so that all that remained of his bare skin was his face. Most of the people were too excited to pay much attention to such a figure as they came and went though, his stark, grim expression inviting no attention. If one did bother to look closely however, they would notice his facial features were most inhumanly characteristic, as if mutated. His complexion was unusually pale, with an added hue of lavender. His eyes, too, were a dull, light purple.

He stood erect and unmoving, like a sentinel on duty, and an air of strict coldness revolved about him. Yet, each time a person approached and left joyfully with their purchases, his light purple optics would flicker with sudden interest. And they would watch, wistfully, as the customer vanished out of sight, round the corner as they hastened home to gobble down the sweets with loved ones.

Once they were gone, his eyes would drift back down to the ground, staring dumbly at the snow-covered earth. The piles of once sparkling white were well trampled now by the heels of numerous boots, carrying their owners to and fro. He was deaf this time to the jingling of the bell beside him, and the wild screams of children as they piled out the door, eager to rush back to their warm, cozy houses.

He was oblivious too, to the fact that after the crowd had dispersed, and all had grown quiet again, that one small girl remained in the alley. She was peering up at him curiously through shimmering, bright blue optics, glistening as they displayed her obvious youth and energy. She was all bundled up like a Christmas present in a scarlet overcoat, a striped scarf wrapped thickly around her neck. Two fat, blonde pigtails emanated from the sides of her head, and bobbed slightly with every movement. In her hands, she clutched a small paper sack, containing the goods she had just recently bought.

He was so engrossed in examining the mutilated snow that he did not notice she had begun to rummage around in the sack, and he suddenly found his sight obscured by a blurred image of red and white. Correcting his vision, he focused upon the object until he was able to discern what appeared to be a short stick pointed at him, decorated with spiraling red and white stripes.

His gaze followed the arm attached to the hand, which clutched the offered item, and stared into the face of its owner. It was quite fair and rosy, unlike his own, and was aglow with earnestness and joy.

Tentatively, a spindly arm extended forward to accept the candy, and dumbfounded, he stared at it. Once relieved of the object, the girl withdrew her own arm, looking quite pleased with herself. Then, deliberately, she stuck a fat thumb between her lips and sucked, still gazing at him wondrously. She appeared to be expecting, waiting for something.

After a few moments, during which the taller being had failed to understand her intentions for stubbornly standing there, he recalled the expression humans often used to show gratitude.

"Thank you," he sputtered out quickly, praying he would not be too late.

She chose to ignore the unusual lapse of time, and pride swelled up in her face. She beamed, acting much more primly than was necessary, although it was a bit comical seeing as she continued to suck furiously on her finger the entire time.

Suddenly, a shout was heard in the distance, the voice belonging to one of her friends. The cluster of children was nearly around the bend already, and they were calling for her to catch up, gesturing with their hands.

She turned to leave, then paused and glanced back at the strange purple figure. The ends of her mouth curled upwards in a warm smile as she removed the hand from her lips. All five fingers spread open outwards, and she raised her hand slightly in a small wave. Then, she spun about and skipped off at a leisurely, yet rapid pace, eager to rejoin her companions.

Still a little dazed by the experience, he watched her leave, her pigtails swaying with every step, until she'd disappeared round the corner along with the others. He stood there for a short time, barely moving; his gaze still fixed on the spot where he'd seen her last. Absently, he stuck the piece of candy inside his own mouth and chewed thoughtfully.

Sweet.
 

Chibi Pika

Stay positive
Neat ^^ I like the description and the main plot is simple, yet to the point and likeable. The only error I found is that 'absentky' doesn't seem to fit right in that sentence. Maybe absentmindedly? I dunno, anyway, keep up the great work, I like this one-shot! Im too lazy to come up with a rating now, but it's at least nine ;249; (9+/10)

~Chibi~;249;
 

billy5772

SENIOR
That was pretty awesome. I only found a couple of mistakes (most likely careless over-sights). Like when you said

The piles of once sparkling white was well trampled now by the heels of numerous boots,

It should have been "The piles...were well trampled..." or "The pile...was well trampled"

Other than that, the grammar, spelling, word choice and syntax were all find. Great work!
 

lilbluecorsola

Binky-boo! <3
Chibi Pika said:
Neat ^^ I like the description and the main plot is simple, yet to the point and likeable. The only error I found is that 'absentky' doesn't seem to fit right in that sentence. Maybe absentmindedly? I dunno, anyway, keep up the great work, I like this one-shot! Im too lazy to come up with a rating now, but it's at least nine ;249; (9+/10)

~Chibi~;249;

I dunno. When I first thought of this plot idea a long time ago, I envisioned that exact wording as the ending sentence. Guess it just kind of stuck, and I probably couldn't have been persuaded to change it. ^^;

Thank you for your review. =)

billy5772 said:
That was pretty awesome. I only found a couple of mistakes (most likely careless over-sights). Like when you said


Quote:
The piles of once sparkling white was well trampled now by the heels of numerous boots,



It should have been "The piles...were well trampled..." or "The pile...was well trampled"

Other than that, the grammar, spelling, word choice and syntax were all find. Great work!

Poo. Spell Check didn't catch that. I should really start rereading my own work more closely. But I get embarassed whenever I do so. ;.;

Thank you very much for catching that mistake. I'll go edit it right now.

*hands both of you candy canes* Thanks for reviewing! 8D
 
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