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A Different Kind of PMD Story (A Vulpix Tail)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Brutaka, Sep 26, 2012.

  1. Brutaka

    Brutaka Ignition

    To say that this is a Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Fan Fiction would be like saying that liquids are solid, or that fire is water. Unfortunately, I can't describe it any other way. Maybe, HMD? Human Mystery Dungeon? That sounds dumb. Anyways...

    This story takes place in the universe of my other Fan Fiction, Through the Thunder and the Lightning. I will be referencing that Fic many times, so I recommend you read it.

    PM List
    Azurus ; Klizcool ; Trickster Zorua ; Knightfall ; cooloolcool ;
    Rotomknight ; Meeker ; Shadow_Zorua ; JFought ; Blaziken10285 ;

    The rating will probably be G, but I'll rest it at a nice PG. Mostly because im over-cautious.

    With that stuff out of the way, let's get to this extremely short Prologue.

    The Red-Head

    "...There is still no word on the young man, Shane Carter, who disappeared two weeks ago one night in Lacunosa Town. Residents have no information on his current whereabouts. Kidnapping is assumed, but details are scarce--"

    Luke flipped the television off. Shane Carter was all that had been in the news lately. It was Shane Carter this, Shane Carter that. Everyone is famous in a small town. And Luke didn't even live in Lacunosa, far from it actually. He lived in a quaint house on the southern edge of Accumula Town with his parents.

    "Mom, can you believe this kid? He goes missing and all of Unova goes crazy," Luke commented. Luke didn't like people getting a lot of attention. He didn't like receiving it either, but it's just a lot of hype to him.

    "What I can't believe is that you just sit on the couch and watch TV all day. I mean, I didn't let you drop out of school for nothing!" Luke's mom was opening that can of worms again. She'd even turned away from the dishes she was washing so that she could berate him fully.

    "I'm working on it! I'll be leaving for my journey the day after tomorrow, okay? I just have to get my starter Pokemon from Professor Juniper tomorrow. She'll be waiting for me at the Pokemon Center. So just chill, okay? I got it under control."

    "Chill? Do you even have any clothes packed?"

    "Well, I will, I just--"

    "Supplies? Food?"

    "I was gonna get that--"

    "Really, I don't see how you're ready for a journey anyways. You can't keep procrastinating!"

    "Relax, Mom. Dad's out getting supplies right now. And I pack quickly. Besides, what Trainer carries a Bag full to the brim with stuff right off the bat?"

    "I know that, I just...I just worry about you is all...I mean, you're all alone out there...Speaking of which--"

    "Oh no, I know where this is going." Luke swallowed and prepared for his usual lecture.

    "Don't interrupt me! Anyways, when are you going to get yourself a girlfriend?"

    Luke was flush red. "Look, I'm sorry, it's just that none of the girls in town like me, I dunno."

    "You can't wait for them to ask you! Go! Ask them first. You're a handsome young man, you'd be surprised the kind of answers you'd get." Luke's Mom stared at him disapprovingly. She went back to washing.

    "I-I'm working on it. It's different nowadays..."

    "Well, you can't except a cute girl to just come to our house and ask you out, can you?"

    And then there was a knock, or even a thump, against the door.

    "And get the door. Maybe you'll be lucky and it's a girl for you."

    Luke rolled his eyes and went to door. It was strange though. He wasn't expecting anyone, his dad wasn't going to be home until much later. Plus, it was pouring rain outside. Luke fumbled with the knobs and tentatively pulled the door open.

    "Uh, hello? Woah-" Luke went to catch the red-haired girl that was now falling onto his 'Welcome' mat, but he utterly failed. The red-head hit the floor but soon sat up. She was soaked and she looked very confused.

    "Ow. I can't walk like this. And it's wet. I don't like wet." The girl shivered.

    "Um, I'm sorry?" Luke helped the girl up and lead her to the couch. "Er, who are you? I haven't seen you around town."

    "I'm Vulpix! At least...I was." She stared her hands as she flexed them.

    "Uh..." And then Luke was very, very confused.
    Apologies for such a short prologue. Rest assured, Chapter 1 will be out soonish, and it will be at least 7x times longer. Thanks again for taking interest. I am looking forward to your responses. After all, I'm planning on doing things that aren't often, if ever, done with a story like this.

    Also, as for TTL, I'll be writing the chapters for that fic and this fic in cycles, with the exception of Chapter 1 of this fic, which I'm writing next.
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2013
  2. Azurus

    Azurus The Ancient Absol

    Oh wow, she even has a similar manner to how my Ninetales characters dislikes dirty things, 'ugh, dirt, I hate dirt, it's soooo.... dirty" I kid you not, she says that in the prologue. I guess there is only one way to write foxes, that or we just think alike.

    Looking forward to how this will go, seems pretty neat.

    Also you spelled short as shot in the authors notes, which works too I guess. Also you have the title of the thread as ( A vulpic tale) isn't that supposed to be Vulpix?

    Add me to the PM list, though I'll know when you get a new chapter up anyway, it's always nice in case it slips under the radar.
    Last edited: Sep 26, 2012
  3. Brutaka

    Brutaka Ignition

    Well, as a former Vulpix, she doesn't like water. At all.

    *FACEPALM* Yeah, it is. Fixed...

    Not a problem.

    Also, I'll be changing the ending of the Prologue up a bit. Knightfall says it could be done better, and to be honest, it probably could.
  4. Trickster Zorua

    Trickster Zorua AMUSING STARTER FTW

    Cool Fic Brutaka! :3 Put me also on the PM list! ^^
  5. Brutaka

    Brutaka Ignition

    Yeah sure thing.

    Well, as it turns out, all I can change is the post name, not the thread name. So unless a mod is able to change it, it'll be stuck that way.
  6. Klizcool

    Klizcool GARBAGE DAY?!?!

    Well, this certainly is... Different. In fact, this actually is pretty awesome!

    Your idea to switch becoming a Pokemon with a Pokemon becoming a human is no doubt unique! Where did you come up with the idea?
    Another thing, I'm in love with your story, and it has only just begun! Please, add me to the PM list.
  7. Brutaka

    Brutaka Ignition

    Glad you like it ^_^

    I've played the idea for a bit. I was trying to reverse a tradition PMD as much as I could, and thats a thought I came up with. However, a lot of it was also helped in part by Knightfall, he is a wondrous source of inspiration and I get a lot of ideas by bouncing thoughts off of him.

    I do have to note, however, that Azurus had an idea like this before I did, though I didn't know it at the time. He has more written than I have, but hasn't posted yet.

    And from what it looks like, we'll be getting a couple more of these stories from other people soon, including Azurus.

    I'm glad you like it. I'll add you to the list.

    EDIT: Also, thanks to bobandbill for fixing my title for me! Thanks!
    Last edited: Sep 27, 2012
  8. Azurus

    Azurus The Ancient Absol

    Thanks for the acknowledgement Brutaka but I should clarify, my story has that Human/Pokemon thing happen as a plot point at around a third to half way into the story and does not revolve completely around it, I would say maybe 30%-40% of the story would be the Pokemon turned Human part and the rest would be mostly normal. So yours should be the first with this as a major story component.
  9. Brutaka

    Brutaka Ignition

    Not a problem. And yes, so that'd be kinda cool. I hope I can get enough of this in to qualify for the 2012 awards. If I do it right, it should be a major contender.
  10. Knightfall

    Knightfall Blazing Wordsmith

    Well, I've made most of my concerns made known to you via VM, as well as my opinions as how it be made better. So, this post would be rather redundant, wouldn't it?

    Though it is short, I know that you plan on making future chapters longer, so it shouldn't be a problem. The dialogue was kind of dry between Luke and his mother, but that is just my opinion. As I said before, I'm sure everything will be improved with future chapters.

    So, I'd like to be added to the PM list please. And I'm pretty sure this will be in the awards if written well enough. And thanks for mentioning me as a contributer to your idea, I'm happy to help.

    Knightfall signing off... ;005;
  11. Brutaka

    Brutaka Ignition

    Well, it seemed like a normal mother-son convo to me, but i see what you mean.

    Ha, all ready did!
  12. Brutaka

    Brutaka Ignition

    Sorry to keep y'all waiting! Here's Chapter 1! Amy's in for some culture shock. Being a human isn't all it's cracked up to be. Oh, and I lied, chapter one isnt 7x times large: it's nearly 10x larger! Tada!

    Chapter 1
    I Dub Thee, Amy!


    "Vulpix? What do you mean?" Luke asked in a hushed tone. He didn't want his mom to hear; she already thought he was a lazy bum. He didn't need to think he was crazy too.

    "Okay, so I woke up in the middle of the forest just outside of town. I can't remember everything from before that, except that I knew I was, or at least, supposed to be a Vulpix. Thankfully, it didn't take all that long to manage to stand like this." The girl had taken Luke's cue and had lowered her voice as well.

    Unfortunately, this only made his mom suspicious. "Luke? Who was at the door?" Without waiting for an answer she walked into the living room. As soon she seen the girl, her residual anger had melted into slight confusion. "Who is this? A girl from school?"

    "Er, yeah," Luke lied. The girl gave him an inquisitive stare that Luke ignored.

    "Why haven't I heard of her yet?" Luke's mother looked down at the girl who was still seated at the couch, looking at the floor. "What's your name, sweetie?"

    "V--, er, I mean..." the girl stumbled.

    "Amy! Her name's Amy." The newly dubbed 'Amy' shot Luke a questioning look. He made a tiny shrug.

    "Well, okay Amy, what are you doing here? It's raining out there." Luke's mom frowned.

    Amy mumbled something that sounded like "Yeah, I know...".

    "What Amy means is, is that she was gonna visit me before I leave on my journey. Isn't that right, Amy?" Luke considered himself adequate at lying.

    "Um, yeah, that was it."

    "Uh-huh. I see...Well, Make yourself at home I guess. I don't know how long you'll be staying for though. Anyways, you're all wet. I bet I have something upstairs for you to change into while I throw those in the dryer. Luke? Be a dear and escort Amy upstairs to the bathroom. I'll be there with clothes in a minute."

    "Okay, Mom." Luke nodded, and then his mother went into a room behind the kitchen. Luke guided Amy to the staircase, but then she stopped cold.

    "Umm, I'm not good with stairs." Amy shivered.

    "Hm. Well, here, hold my hand and just take it a step at a time." Luke grabbed Amy's hand and she slowly took each step. Her legs seemed a bit sluggish, and sometimes she didn't lift them high enough.

    "Come on, move your legs more than that. Bigger steps." Amy attempted to take the next step properly, but the tip of her shoe caught on an edge and she tripped. Luke was quick this time though, and he managed to catch her under her arms. He righted her and pulled her along. Luke was quite surprised his mom hadn't caught on to all this commotion yet. Perhaps she was too far away to notice.

    "I know your new and all, but seriously. You're gonna have to be able to climb stairs if your ever gonna get anywhere."

    Amy blushed. "I'm sorry, okay? But my legs are too long and they're all the wrong shape, and--"

    "They're fine. And look, we're upstairs already."

    "We are! Yay!" Luke didn't understand why she was getting so excited over climbing some stairs, but before he could even think of an answer, Amy tackle-hugged him. It was nice, he admitted, but now he was all wet too.

    Luke cleared his throat. "Anyways, here's the bathroom," Luke said with a gesture towards the small room directly across from the stairs. "Just take your clothes off and I'll get Mom to bring you up something to wear."

    Amy walked into the room and started fiddling with her shirt. In the dark. With the door open.

    "Woah there! Here, first learning opportunity: light switch," Luke said, and flicked the switch on the wall. Amy stared wide-eyed at the light bulbs above the mirror, but then averted her eyes.

    "Ow, the light hurts. That's much brighter than a Luminous Orb."

    Luke raised an eyebrow. "A what?"

    "It's...well...Huh. I can't remember."

    "Anyways, second learning opportunity: close the door before changing. I get that Pokemon don't wear clothes, but humans do and it's considered indecent if they see each other without said clothes."

    "I don't think I like clothes much. It's heavy and awfully restricting."

    "Yeah, well, get used to it." He wasn't trying to be mean, but he wasn't the greatest of teachers. "Anyways, get those clothes off so we can get them dry." Luke shut the bathroom door and quickly found his mom downstairs.

    "'Kay, she's in the bathroom. Have you got something for her to wear yet?"

    Luke's mother handed him a ball of old, baggy clothes. "Here, let her try that."

    "Um, Mom? Shouldn't you give it to her? She's in the bathroom. Naked."

    "Oh, brother. Whatever. Er, hey. You're all wet. What were you doing, hugging it out up there?"

    "Eh, uh, n-no. She tripped..."

    "Mhmm. And she fell all over you didn't she?'

    "Uh, yup. I caught her. That was...that was it." Smooth.

    "Ugh. You really are hopeless." She made an exasperated motion as she took the clothes from Luke.

    Luke followed her up the stairs. "What's that supposed mean?"

    She rolled her eyes. Luke couldn't see that though. "Nothing. Just go get changed. I assume you can dress yourself?"

    Luke sighed and pulled clothes from his hangers. He shut his door, changed, and took a seat on his bed. His back against the wall, he stared at the ceiling.

    I wonder what's up with this girl. She must of been traumatized or something. Amnesia and disorientation, not to mention delusion, don't randomly pop over for a visit. They're typically invited guests. Wait, what? Man, I have to get a girlfriend. Luke's thoughts wandered to Amy. Well, she's cute enough, and she seems nice. But do I really need that much drama? His thoughts drifted to her looks again.

    Amy looked about the same age group as he was, so she was probably sixteen or seventeen. She was slightly shorter than him. She was perfectly fit; her orange and cream clothes fit snuggly to her body. Her eyes were chocolate brown. Her skin was pale and the few freckles on her cheek's were prominent. Her skin was otherwise flawless. Her hair was a dramatic shade of red-orange and her uneven bangs were straight with part of it covering her eyes a little. The rest of her hair fell down a little past her shoulders and was fairly curly.

    As much as I don't believe she really used to be a Vulpix, she sure does seem styled after one. I wonder if Professor Juniper would know anything about her...condition? Maybe do like a scan or something. Or maybe she could find Amy's family. Luke's train of thought was interrupted by his mother barging into his room. She looked determined. Or mad. Luke couldn't really tell.

    She shut the door behind her and crossed her arms. "Luke? Who is she?" Mad. Definitely mad.

    "I told you, she's Amy, a girl from school," Luke lied again.

    She didn't take that. "Luke. Who. Is. That. Girl?"

    Luke swallowed. "I-I dunno."

    "What!? So you just let some random girl in our house?"

    "She was obviously confused. And it was raining. Besides, I think she's got amnesia or something. She can't remember anything and she's incredibly disoriented."

    She was silent for a while. Then, "I can believe that. She couldn't even get her clothes off, especially her bra. Why didn't you tell me?"

    "I don't know. I guess I panicked. But that's not the point. She needs help. Obviously, she's not from around here since I don't recognize her from town. She'll need some help getting back to her parents without her memory."

    "What do you plan to do then, look her up on the internet?" Luke's mom said with heavy sarcasm.

    "I'm going to tell Professor Juniper. She'll know what to do. Or at least, know people who do. Tomorrow, when I meet her to get my starter, I'll bring it up."

    "Have you asked Amy what she wants to do? And is that even her name?"

    "Well, I haven't talked to her all that much, to be honest. And no, it isn't her name, but she doesn't remember what her name was. She seems to be okay with it though."

    A door slammed in the living room. "That's your father. I'll talk to him; you go talk to Amy. She's in my room." Luke's mother left his room to greet her husband. Luke walked across the hall and found Amy, dressed in a baggy shirt and a pair of old jeans, looking at something electronic on his mother's desk. Even in faded clothes and messy hair, she was still cute.

    She pushed a key on the laptop's keyboard. The screen lit up and she flinched. "Luke? What's this?"

    "It's a laptop. You know, a portable computer?"

    "Computer?" Luke might as well be talking about particle physics to her; she didn't get it.

    "You don't remember what a computer is? I figured amnesia just wiped out the memories about, like, stuff you did, not what you learned."

    She turned around. Her deep brown eyes peered into mine. "I told you. I didn't just lose my memories. I'm supposed to be a Vulpix, and I'm fairly sure they didn't have these...things where I come from." She gestured to the laptop.

    Luke gave her a serious stare back. "I know I went along with it before, but look: that isn't possible! Pokemon don't just go turning into humans. You're just...confused. I'll be-"

    "No! I'm not-I'm not crazy! I know what I am! ...Or what I was..." Amy sat on the bed. She was teary-eyed and staring at the floor. "Why don't you believe me...?" she whispered.

    Luke thought for a little while. Then he carefully took a seat next to her. He sighed. "Well, all right, I'll play along with it for a while longer. I'll be going to see Professor Juniper tomorrow. She's a highly renowned Pokemon Professor. Her specialty is the origins of Pokemon, so maybe she has some answers for you. Or at least, she might be able to find someone who could."

    "Do you really think someone could help?" She stared at me with big, watery eyes.

    "Maybe. We will certainly find out then, wont we?"

    "Yeah! Together, right?" She looked at him with her big eyes again.

    "Yes, yes, don't worry, haha," Luke chuckled. Amy wiped away her tears and put on a smile.

    Then, Luke's mom called from the hallway, "Luke?"

    "I'm in here!" Luke called out.

    She walked in and seen Amy. "Oh, well, I've talked to your father. He's agreed to let her stay downstairs on the couch for tonight, since she doesn't know where else to go. Also, he has your supplies, you should go get them and start packing."

    "Yeah, yeah."

    Luke's mom rolled her eyes and left. Luke turned back to Amy, "All right, well, stay here, I guess. I'll be right back, try not to break anything."

    Luke got up, but Amy grabbed his arm before he walked away. "...Can I go with you?"

    Luke stared her in the eyes and his will broke. "Amy...fine. Come on."


    Man, get a grip of yourself. Are you gonna let this girl come in here and walk all over you? But god, those eyes... So pretty and so hard to resist! Luke shook the thoughts away and walked over to the stairs, where Amy stopped.

    "You gonna be all right?" Luke asked.

    She looked scared of the stairs at first, but then she looked determined. "Yes. If I'm ever going to be to do anything on my own, I have to be able handle a couple of stairs, right?"

    "Okay then, just don't hurt yourself."

    Luke walked down the stairs slowly, and mostly backwards as Amy followed him. Thankfully, she didn't have any troubles going down the stairs.

    At the bottom, Amy happily said, "That was much easier than last time! Going down is better than going up, I guess."

    "Eh-heh, yeah. Well, I'll just need to get my stuff from my dad. I guess this gives you a chance to meet him as well."

    Luke's father was in the kitchen, sorting out items on the kitchen table. As Luke made his way over to him, his father nodded and muttered, "Luke. Your supplies are on the table."

    Amy stopped short of the man, her eyes wide and trembling. Now, Luke's father was a powerful-looking man. He was tall--over six feet--and he usually held a stern look. His mouth-covering beard(though not as bad as Drayden's) gave him a stronger presence as well. Needless to say, the girl was intimidated.

    "Ah, so you must be the girl my wife was talking about." His face warmed up considerably. He had a rather soft personality which apposed his appearance drastically.

    "Eep!" Amy emitted as Luke's dad gave her a friendly one-armed hug.

    Keeping a hand on her shoulder, he said, "You poor girl. Look at you; you must be so confused. But Luke here will help, you can trust me on that." He winked, then lowered his voice, "He may not be the most accomplished or the most committed, but his heart's in the right place."

    Amy loosened up a bit after hearing those words and decided that Luke's father wasn't a man to be scared of.

    Meanwhile, Luke was over at the table stuffing item's -- Potion's, Pokeballs, and Antidotes -- into his Bag that had been laying on the couch. He ran up stairs before Amy could complain and came back down with some clothes. He jammed them into his bag as well. Putting the finishing touches on his supplies were a Town Map and his collapsible fishing rod. Now that Luke was done with his packing, he hefted it over his shoulder and stood by Amy so he could get into the conversation.

    "So what do you exactly plan to do Amy?" Luke's father asked.

    "Well...Luke said I could go with him to meet this Professor Junny-"

    "Juniper," Luke corrected.

    "Right, Juniper. He thinks that maybe she can help."

    The man gazed at her hard again. "But what do you want to do?" All you've told me is what Luke thinks you should do. But what is it that you want?"

    "I want...I want...I want proof." Amy managed.

    "Proof? Of what?" Luke's dad was after something.

    "Proof of who I really am. I want to know who I am. Maybe this professor can tell me that..."

    "Of course, you want to know who you are, that's valiant. But no professor in a lab coat can tell you that. If you want to know who you are, then that's something you have to point out for yourself. You need to ask yourself who you are and what do you want. That's all anyone ever needs to ask themselves."

    "Thank you, Mr. Luke's Dad. But all of that left me more questions than answers," Amy said sadly.

    Luke's dad gave a hearty chuckle. "That's philosophy kiddo, haha."

    Amy whispered to Luke, "I still don't understand..."

    "Just nod when he finishes. I never understand these kind of things," he whispered back.

    "All right, enough of that, it's off to bed for the both of ya! Important day tomorrow! Amy, you can sleep on the couch, I suppose."

    "But Luke, why can't I be with you?" Amy asked Luke with a worried tone.

    "Look, I'll be right upstairs. You'll be fine, I promise."

    "Well...okay." Amy said and sat on the couch. Luke and his dad hurried upstairs.

    Luke's father stopped him before he went to his room. "That girl downstairs...she seems mighty attached to you," he said with a smirk.

    "Yeah, heaven knows why. She can't seem to be without me for more than two seconds."

    "That's not necessarily a bad thing. This could be the girl you were waiting for."

    "Dad...Look, she's just like that because she can't remember anything and I was the first person to show her any kindness. She'll forget all about me when she gets her memories back and I'll be a nobody to her. Besides, I'm leaving for my journey anyways."

    "Don't be like that, son. She'll still remember the kindness you showed her. That can have a big impact on a person. And what if she doesn't get her memory back? What if Professor Juniper can't find her family? Then what? Perhaps you should allow her to go with you. You could use the company."

    "...True. Fine, I'll offer if she has nowhere else to go."

    "Attaboy. Now, off to bed." Luke father went into his room, where his wife was already asleep. Luke retired to his own room.

    As Luke slept, he dreamt of journeys, Pokemon, and adventure.

    Amy had terrific nightmares of evil knights, giant metal bugs, and things she didn't know were real.


    N held his Zorua in his arms as he hurried to his father's command room.

    "Zor?" the Zorua asked.

    "Something big is happening, Zorua."

    "Zor! Zorua?" The fox tiled his head.

    "No, I don't. But it must be important. Daddy doesn't call me so near bed time, for the most part." N rounded the corner and raced up the stairs.


    "Oh, sorry. But I have to hurry, you must understand." N readjusted his hold on Zorua and rounded another corner. His castle was quite large. Finally, he made it to a discrete room in the middle of a seemingly random hall. Ghetsis noticed him as he walked in.
    "Ah, N. Look! Look at the screens!" Ghetsis gestured to three large screens. The one on the left had a monochrome shape of Unova. Two dots, one glowing black, the other glowing white, were shown on the map. On the middle screen was the same map, except there were no black and white dots. There was a faint purple dot though. On the third screen was a land mass N had never seen before. The map was loaded with colorful dots as well. The black and white dots shown prominently on that map as well.

    "So what are all these maps, Daddy?" N asked.

    "Zor!" Zorua chimed in.

    "So these maps shown sources of large Pokemon power. The ones normally considered 'deities' or 'legendaries'. On the left was the locations of Reshiram and Zekrom, our target Pokemon. That was a month ago. Here, in the center, is the map now. They're gone. But, here on the right, is a map of a region no human has ever stepped on. And look at that: our Pokemon have fled there!"

    "Why would they do that? I thought they were dormant. And what are all those other dots?"

    "We all thought they were contained in their stones. Apparently not. It seems that they've gone to this region in order to sort out there ageless battle again. This time, without human intervention."

    N looked frantic. "But! Without Reshiram and Zekrom, how am I supposed to be the hero!?"

    "Rua! Zor!" his Zorua added.

    Ghetsis remained calm. "It's okay, N. We'll just have to adapt our plans a little. It means we'll have to go to them and get them. There's a problem though. A very powerful force is playing around the regions right now. We've recorded the instances, but they don't reveal much. Observe."

    The screen in the middle flickered. It showed the unknown region, still littered with colorful dots, two weeks ago. Suddenly, there was a bright golden flash, more powerful than any of the other dots. It faded away mere seconds later. The map skipped about a day or so. Around the same area, another huge flash, blue this time, went off.

    "See? We've never seen this before. The power level for that blast is off the charts." Ghetsis explained.

    "But, Daddy, what does this mean?"

    "It means there is a really powerful Pokemon messing around with the regions. I would like to know what that force is, but it's too powerful and it disappears far too quickly. But, it isn't just local to that region. Look."

    The map switched to a view of Unova, dated to only yesterday, in fact. There was a bright flash just outside of Accumula Town. It was the same golden flash as before.

    "Zorua, Zor-Zorua?" Zorua asked.

    "Zorua says, 'Have you checked the location out yet'," N translated.

    "Of course. I have men out there right now. But there was nothing there."

    "That's really strange. Any idea what it is?"

    "No, and I--woah, would you look at that..." Ghestis trailed off as he stared at the live playback of the unknown region. Some distance away from the original flashes from before shown yet another blue flash.

    "What is it?" N wondered.

    "I have no idea," Ghestis admitted.

    ---*~Author's Notes~*---
    Well, not much to say. It may be a bit till the next chapter though, since I have to write TTL's chapter 12 next.
    Last edited: Oct 12, 2012
  13. Knightfall

    Knightfall Blazing Wordsmith

    Well, not much to say that I haven't already pointed out.

    Except you forgot something:
    I thought we talked about that. :/

    Anyways, like I said before. Good characterization of "Amy" and Luke, even though it's only the first chapter. Not any spelling errors that I caught. Decent description of everything.
    Overall, a pretty good chapter. And I liked the additional length when compared to other chapters of yours, though that's just a personal opinion.

    I can't wait to see what happens next.

    Knightfall signing off... ;005;
  14. Brutaka

    Brutaka Ignition

    We did, and I missed it when I was fixing it :/ I'll fix it now.
  15. Klizcool

    Klizcool GARBAGE DAY?!?!

    Okay, so far, I still love this. Amy acted exactly like the culture shocked person I expected a Pokemon gone human to act. Plus, her offer to be with Luke over night, priceless. Im also enjoying Luke's mom. She has a personality that reminds of my sister, oddly enough...

    Finally, I just had to laugh at N's daddy's boy attitude. This actually makes me feel Like I know him better than in the game.

    Keep writing!
  16. Brutaka

    Brutaka Ignition

    Glad you like it.

    He always struck me as a daddy's boy. I dunno.
  17. Azurus

    Azurus The Ancient Absol

    Well that is certainly an entertaining chapter, but you already knew my views on it.
    You are doing a lot better at fixing your own errors though, so that's good.
    I really don't know what else to say other than keep these coming.
  18. Brutaka

    Brutaka Ignition

    Will do!
    Yeah, the 24 hour wait was applied to this one(with the exception of the last bit)
  19. Not_A_Cyberbully

    Not_A_Cyberbully Claimed Gabite

    Enjoying this fic. Interesting storyline. Pm List if possible.
  20. Brutaka

    Brutaka Ignition

    Yeah, sure.
    The storyline is different, i must say.

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