A Different Kind of PMD Story (A Vulpix Tail)

[Rotomknight]

Will amy be susceptible to the mental effects, like sparky in through thunder/lightning? Maybe unable to understand pokemon over time. and is that what happened to N?

 

[Azurus]

I wonder if Looker will still have his ridiculous way of speech and action.

Also, Cutlerine did a competent Looker as well, so I'm not surprised to see it happen again.

I was hoping to see more of Amy's groups point of view this chapter, but since this the first introduction of another main character, it is better to give them full spotlight for the chapter.

Not much else to mention about the story in general, I like it and look forward to being able to beta read further chapters for you again at some point. It doesn't feel right to do so without the author there as well. Stupid work hours and tech ban.

 

[Brutaka]

Will amy be susceptible to the mental effects, like sparky in through thunder/lightning? Maybe unable to understand pokemon over time. and is that what happened to N?

There is a good reason why Shane developed the ability to read PokePrint, but it isn't the same reason for Amy to lose the ability to understand Pokemon.
In short, no, Amy will probably keep that ability throughout the story. And N still has his...and still has them in the games too, so I dunno what you meant there.

I wonder if Looker will still have his ridiculous way of speech and action.

I'll try!

Also, Cutlerine did a competent Looker as well, so I'm not surprised to see it happen again.

Ah, I didnt know. Didnt read it. But KF was telling me how lots of the fics he reads with Looker in them have a lame Looker.

I was hoping to see more of Amy's groups point of view this chapter, but since this the first introduction of another main character, it is better to give them full spotlight for the chapter.

It would have been nice to write as well, but I needed to bring out our third character, so yeah.

Not much else to mention about the story in general, I like it and look forward to being able to beta read further chapters for you again at some point. It doesn't feel right to do so without the author there as well. Stupid work hours and tech ban.

Hm. You know, you can read it over whenever, I dont mind. You dont have to be there with me.

 

[JFought]

Put me on the PM list or DIE! I love the idea of a Pokemon turning into a human, which I always wondered about. I also love how this fiction is intertwined with Pokemon BW. Keep up the good work!

 

[Brutaka]

Put me on the PM list or DIE! I love the idea of a Pokemon turning into a human, which I always wondered about. I also love how this fiction is intertwined with Pokemon BW. Keep up the good work!

Haha, thanks! I'll put you on the PM list right away! Glad you like it!

 

[Blaziken10285]

From the new WoJ Review Game! I just finished reading this, and enjoyed it much more than I thought that I would. I was thinking that it would be just another PMD story, which is not really my interest, but I really like the concept of this. It seems like a cool concept to think that whenever a person transforms into a Pokemon, the inverse also occurs. Anyway, I'll split the rest into a few categories...

Plot: Like I said, you have a really neat idea with the... Human Mystery Dungeon. I hope that you will implement this fuller as you go. Maybe have Amy relate a forest/route/desert to a dungeon? I also like how you have added the BW characters. I never would have thought of taking that battle with N in Accumula and escalating it with the rivals of BW and your own group. I was wondering how you were going to pull the Vulpix thing, since she once spoke to these Pokemon, and that was handled well, as was N seeing her communicate similar to how he does. N's journey was given a good explanation, but I want to see how the gym leaders deal with being asked for the drives. Speaking of which, I'm really excited to see if Amy does gym battles, but at the moment I can't see her doing that.

Characters: Crest might be one of my favorites so far. it was cool to hear what the starters have to say. Ghetsis is really a well spoken evil mastermind, and I like how you have incorporated him and Looker already having met. N has a good adaption, and I like how you have given him and Amy similar skills. I'd love to see it when he confesses to being part of Team Plasma, how Luke and Amy react. Luke was given a good personality for how it contrasts with how Amy acts. The biggest thing that I don't really understand is the idea of dropping out. How old is he? I would envision a world in Pokemon that you once you complete trainer school (which ends around the time a child is 10), you are able to start your journey. Dropping out just makes it sound like there is a bunch of delinquents running around with powerful monsters. Just my view, though.

Spelling/Grammar: I don't have much to say here. Most of it is good. However, I don't really care for the use of the word "anyways". Anyway is the right word and I'm not sure if there is even a need for the s. In chapter 2, this line is used when Luke's mom is helping Amy pack...

"It's a Bag. You can keep your clothes in it. And anything else you need too, of course."

I think that I would say, instead of "too", replace it with "to have/keep/etc.". To me that sounds better.

Descriptions: I love how you described Amy at the beginning. It was a good adaption of a Vulpix to a person. You did best elaborating on people, but I still enjoyed seeing technology through Amy's eyes and how crazy everything was. I don't have much else to say about this one, I guess.

Enjoyment: I liked this a lot more than I thought that I would! It was really a good story and I hope that you will get back to this soon, as I see that you haven't added to this in a while. Hey, add me to the PM list should you start this back any time soon!

 

[Brutaka]

From the new WoJ Review Game!

I find it odd that KF used my fic to start it off and even more weird that it was originally for TTL. He must of switched it when i wasn't looking. >_> <_<

I just finished reading this, and enjoyed it much more than I thought that I would.

Well that's always a good thing. Better than the opposite anyways.

I was thinking that it would be just another PMD story, which is not really my interest, but I really like the concept of this. It seems like a cool concept to think that whenever a person transforms into a Pokemon, the inverse also occurs.

Well, I was trying to think of something new to write about. Something original. As it is, AVT only got 4th in originality in the fan fic awards, but i digress.

Plot: Like I said, you have a really neat idea with the... Human Mystery Dungeon. I hope that you will implement this fuller as you go. Maybe have Amy relate a forest/route/desert to a dungeon?

Perhaps. It would difficult to do that though, seeing as Amy forgot all of that. Only brief references like the Luminous Orbs show up. Though I suppose it'd be enough to work with... I dunno.

I also like how you have added the BW characters.

Well, it does follow that story.

I never would have thought of taking that battle with N in Accumula and escalating it with the rivals of BW and your own group.

I always found it odd that B/W/2 never implemented 6 player Pokemon battles into triple battles, with 3 on each side. They did it for double battles. *shrug*

N's journey was given a good explanation, but I want to see how the gym leaders deal with being asked for the drives.

Yeah, I'm still sorting all that out. Heh heh...

Speaking of which, I'm really excited to see if Amy does gym battles, but at the moment I can't see her doing that.

Spoiler

Of course she will. But like you said, not right now.

Characters: Crest might be one of my favorites so far.

He's fun to write anyways.

Ghetsis is really a well spoken evil mastermind, and I like how you have incorporated him and Looker already having met.

Looker's like the Doctor; He's everywhere. Even looks like 'em too.

N has a good adaption, and I like how you have given him and Amy similar skills. I'd love to see it when he confesses to being part of Team Plasma, how Luke and Amy react.

That's gonna be fun to write as well. Though I am fiddling with the story somewhat. It's amazing what the addition of a single character will do to a story.

The biggest thing that I don't really understand is the idea of dropping out.

That actually came from a webcomic i follow.

Ever since reading that, i sorta have a little head canon that anyone who wants to be a Pokemon Trainer drops out of high school (which is similar to our high school), takes a crash course at the Trainer school, and goes on their journey. Anyone who stays in school goes on to be clerks, or doctors, or builders, or other necessary roles in society.

How old is he?

16. Although his age was never established in-story.

I would envision a world in Pokemon that you once you complete trainer school (which ends around the time a child is 10), you are able to start your journey.

I think thats what the games portray as how that happens.

Dropping out just makes it sound like there is a bunch of delinquents running around with powerful monsters.

I'm perfectly okay with that.

I don't have much to say here. Most of it is good. However, I don't really care for the use of the word "anyways". Anyway is the right word and I'm not sure if there is even a need for the s.

Force of habit. In real life, I do use the word "anyways". If you ever find yourself reviewing my work, catch any use of the word "anyways" outside of dialogue, as it should be "anyway".

In chapter 2, this line is used when Luke's mom is helping Amy pack...
I think that I would say, instead of "too", replace it with "to have/keep/etc.". To me that sounds better.

I actually disagree. But honestly, I don't think it's that important.

I love how you described Amy at the beginning. It was a good adaption of a Vulpix to a person.

Whoever designed her outfit for when she turned human must think the way I do about clothes. Wait....

You did best elaborating on people, but I still enjoyed seeing technology through Amy's eyes and how crazy everything was.

Sometimes you have to take a step back and appreciate all that we have.

Cell phones! You can talk to people miles away instantly!

Internet! We literally have all the information known to mankind at our very fingertips! And what do we use it for? Getting into fights with people we don't know.

Video Games! It's a freaking movie we can control! In real time!

I'm mean... it's crazy, isn't it?

Enjoyment: It was really a good story and I hope that you will get back to this soon, as I see that you haven't added to this in a while.Hey, add me to the PM list should you start this back any time soon!

I'm still working on it, but I do have my other story that I have to release a chapter for first. But I will working on chapter 4 of this as soon as that is done.

In addition, I'm busy fixing up the prologue and chapter 1 of this story as well. So hopefully I can make that way better.

Anyways, thanks a load for reviewing!