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A Girl and her Gardevoir

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Yami Ryu

Well-Known Member
I really don't like most PokemonxHuman pairings, fics or rants about why it should be. Mostly as it sorta just seems wrong half the time, as most pokemon seem to only be animals and not all animals can be classified as intelligent ... so it's sorta like praying on people that aren't at the same level as you >.>

... though, I said most. I can mind a well written fic. Aslong as it has plot and development, and the pairing was there for a reason. Though I stumbled onto one that had promise, but was just so poorly done. >.< basically lets just say the (I'm thinking a 12 year old) person should have stuck to the bad battles and not tried to delve into emotions and personalities, or egads even shook a stick at a plot.

Anyways, this being said, boredom and strange ideas came to mind. This being one of them. This is a possible pairing fic of a GardevoirxHuman. I'm saying possible as it Might happen. Not that it will, or won't. That it might. Depending on how the plot develops.

I've tried to make a character that would need a Gardevoir around, and hope I didn't create an Angst Sue. I've tried to be realistic in personalities and actions as much as I can to this point in my writing abilities.

So that being said, the rating for this fic right now, is PG-13. For mild violence, death, angst, etc etc of PG-13'ness.





Chapter One

§


She looked into the mirror. And really wasn't pleased with the reflection she saw looking back. Her hair was flat, bland. A dull black that didn't seem to reflect any light, only absorb it. Not that it helped the hair look beautiful, just made it look dead. Sighing, she looked to her other features. Her nose, in her opinion, was too long. Well, it hadn't been her opinion at first, but the bullying, taunting. All the kids and then teenagers, and now sub adults had made fun of her. First it had been because she'd been a loner... then her hair... her nose, then the acne that had sprung up badly last year... the constant nit picking of her features and faults had caused her self confidence to be cast out of the window.

Shifting a hand, she poked at her nose, as if to make it smaller. But it never worked. And she didn't have the money to pay to make she look beautiful.

Sniffling a little she set the hand mirror down, looking away with hurt olive green eyes. She had tried to escape this world of hurt once, but… she had been too scared, though the faint scar on her wrist shows the failed attempt.

Rubbing at her eyes with the back of a hand, she tried to keep from losing it again. ‘I'm as weak as I am ugly,’ she thought. And she would have continued to wallow in this pit of teenage angst and self pity if the young woman hadn't heard the soft ‘Garda?’

Trying to regain her composure, Sara looked up as she let her hand fall onto to the bed she sat on. And a weak smile came to her face as her loyal companion gracefully entered the room. Well, he wasn't her only loyal companion, she had an Aron and Gastly too that were somewhere around the house. But it was George that seemed to come whenever she was distressed.

Mostly because being psychic, George could sense his trainer's distress, and more so for being a Gardevoir.

“Hey George,” Sara weakly murmured as she patted the edge of the bed to her left, motioning for George it was alright to come in and sit by her. The Gardevoir just tilted his head slightly, the bright blue and silver collar around his neck catching some lamp light and throwing it off, before he (with more grace than any female human Sara had ever seen) seemed to float into the room as followed his trainer's silent plea.

Sara waited for George to cross the distance from the door to her bed, sweep up the cloth like skirt that fell around his waist, legs and dragged over the floor and sit before scooting closer and leaning against the psychic type.

“I hate using you like this George,” Sara mumbled after a few moments of silence. She felt George shift enough so he could turn his head and look at her silently, as if asking for her to continue. Which she was going to do so anyways; “It's not right, my parents shouldn't have bought you from that pokemon reserve. I bet you were happy there. Free to do whatever you wanted, roam wherever your heart desired...”

“De, gar voir.” George replied, tilting his head slightly again before rising up a fragile looking arm and placing an equally fragile looking hand on the top of Sara's head. “Voir.”


”Going to take that as no.”

George bobbed his head down slightly, giving a small grin, and Sara rolled her eyes a little, not even realizing that George had pulled her out of the pit she'd been in moments earlier. “Swear you think you're human sometimes.”

“Garda.” Was all George had to say in answer to that.
-

The next day, everything seemed normal; Sara was once again, late to wake up. This was mostly caused by her throwing her latest alarm clock across the room once again.

Waking up with about fifteen minutes to spare when her mother finally came to wake her up, the girl went on a near berserker spree of havoc in trying to find a clean set clothes, her shoes, take a bath and brush her teeth at the same time (which explained why her teeth smelled like her shampoo and her hair was now protected against plaque), she was just able to run from her room, down the stairs, manage to keep from falling this time, sprint into the kitchen and nab a piece of toast from her probably cold breakfast and use the last of her ‘Going to be late for school!’ dash to get to the front door where George was once again, waiting patiently with her study books, training belt and her two other pokemon recalled already.

In a breathless whisper she said her thanks to George as she took the items from him, hastily shoving the reading material into her pack and sliding the belt around her waist. Sara began catching up with trying to make it to school on time, that she didn't notice the slight amount of worry in George's eyes as she bid him goodbye and was out the door.

“So much like her father,” George heard Sara's mother say absently from in the kitchen as she puttered about, clearing the table and putting things away or into the sink.

Thinking he would be able to sneak out and follow his trainer, George put a hand onto the door as if to push it open- “Don't even think about following Sara again! You almost got her kicked out of school and we're not having that!”

George acted as if he was stung by those words, and hung his head a little. “Gaard.” He murmured, looking over his shoulder, waiting for the mother to allow him to go into the front yard then.

Upon his release into the outside world, George blinked his eyes a little from the early morning sunlight before making his way over to one of the ornamental rocks that lay scattered about the yard. It wasn't really much of an ornamental thing, but from what George could understand, human's liked having weird things in their territories to show off to others, mates or family. And he mused silently, it wasn't that bad. He had seen worse.

With a sigh he gathered his skit up and sat down, eyes focused on the gate that Sara would later come through. The collar around his neck prevented him from his full power, as it seemed the other humans thought he would abandon his charge for the wild once more.

Seemed they didn't understand the motivation behind the Gardevoir line...

But, because of it, all George could divine was something very bad was going to happen today, and it would affect Sara deeply. And the only reason he wasn't making haste to the place he knew Sara would be this time a day, was because she wasn't in serious peril.

Though it didn't make George any less anxious to be forced to sit here instead of running to Sara's aid.

So like some obedient dog pokemon, George sat on the rock and waited. He would not budge, for thirst or hunger. He could survive going a few missed meals or drinks.

For George knew he was right about his premonition.
-

Sara chewed on her lower lip as she eyed her opponent. Today was the finals, where you actually had to battle someone else. And depending on how well you do today, would tell if you would graduate Saturday, or be forced to study a week longer and retake this ‘test’. What Sara was worried about though, was if she had remembered that before choosing her one pokemon, she'd have gone with Gastly. Not many people seemed to have things strong against the ghost.

For it was like this; the rules to the test were simple. You chose one of your two pokemon, were given two potions, three revives and a single gold berry. Your score depended on how wisely you used the items. When you used them, and how many you had left after the knock out rounds you were sent into.

And she'd already used up all her items ... Sara really was thinking she should have gone with ghost as she brought her attention back to the battle at hand.

Aron snorted from his position in front of his trainer, pawing at the ground before tossing his head a little in a show of spunk and attempted intimidation to the opposing human and trying to look fierce so whatever pokemon the person threw out, would be scared into forfeiting right away.

“And let the fifth and final battle begin! Sara is using Aron and Rolan is using...” the referee paused as he looked to Rolan. And Sara did not like it when Rolan smirked as he brought out the red and white sphere and threw it out. In a second of flashing red energy, a small pokemon formed. “Ah, Numel. Alright, let the battle begin!”

Where Aron was small, silver armored with a grayish and somewhat softer underside, blue eyes and a sharp cry and attitude. Numel, in Sara's opinion, looked slow moving, slow thinking. And on its fat and stumpy little legs, Sara doubted it could be faster than her Aron.

“Aron, quick, charge it for a head butt!” Sara snapped out her command.

“Aaaaron!” The silver saurian like steel/rock type cried out as he charged forward, little paws digging into the ground to aid his way forward.

Rolan just continued to smirk, an evil and malicious glint in his slate blue eyes. “Numel, use flamethrower!”

Sara blinked her eyes aghast, as she couldn't believe the order Rolan had used. He couldn't be serious, Numel had to be the same level as Aron, and Aron didn't even know anything half as powerful as that!

But her fears were confirmed as the yellow pokemon flicked it's ears and uttered it's name in a low deep tone before taking a deep breath, at this Sara cried out an “Aron, evade it evade!” but her call was to little to late as the Numel spewed forth this burning flame of crimson and golden hue onto the Aron.

“No!” Screamed Sara as she watched in horror as the fire engulfed her Aron, though her cry was drowned out by the screaming in the inferno.

“That is enough Rolan! Call off the Numel! Call it off!” The Referee snapped out, horrified and disgusted himself at this trainer’s action. Rolan followed them after the third demand by the Ref, but it was too late for the Aron, it seemed, as the flames flickered then died down before shutting off.

Silver lay puddled around a charred rock like skeleton, and nothing was left outside of that. Sara's Aron was no more.

“No, no, no. No!” Sara cried out as she darted forward towards the remains of her Aron. On shaky legs she came to a halt a few feet from the corpse, forced too by the hissing, bubbling pool of liquid steel and silver that lay slowly cooling around it. Tears streaming from her face, all Sara could do were watch the remains of her Aron smolder and cool down. Not even a Revive would bring it back to life.

Sara didn't even hear the reprimanding the Ref was giving to Rolan, or how he was being banned from using pokemon for three months for this injustice towards an innocent pokemon. But the girl could feel the gloating glare he was giving her.

But she didn't care; all Sara could do was staring down at the remains of her Aron until one of the teachers came over and forcefully turned and led her away.

For the rest of the day she walked about in a state of shock and numbness. The teachers didn't even have the sense to send her home; not everyone viewed pokemon as creatures to really care for and mourn if they died, they were just ‘tools’ of battle. And it seemed only the Ref was punishing Rolan for his cruel deed to her.

And it was in this state, she returned home to. She almost didn't acknowledge George as she came through the gate and closed it behind her. The greeting to the psychic type was barely out of her mouth before George was there, staring at her, and then opening his arms in a gesture of comfort he'd seen humans use sometimes. Sara just stared at him a moment before lunging forward, the tackle to the Gardevoir almost caused him to go over backwards. Grunting a little from the force, George wrapped his arms around the sobbing human, just waiting for Sara's pain and anguish to pass. As there was nothing else he could do.

… for now anyways.

To Be Continued
 
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Kakiryu

Guest
Well written, I love gardevoirs too x3 although they seem kinda wrong being the guy o_O Wearing a dress and all that.

Spelling mistakes. "Premonition" not "premanition", and "divine" not "devine" :]
 
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Joshua - Shadow Brigadier

Well-Known Member
*faints*

Sweet chapter Ren. Just beautiful. I love the character of George already.

Few spelling errors though:

Aron snorted from his position infront of his trainer, pawing at the ground before tossing his head a little in a show of spunk and attempted intimidation to the opposing human and trying to look fierce so whatever pokemon the person threw out, would be scared into forfieting right away.

Isn't in front two words? And you swapped the i and e around in forfeiting.

A dull black that didn't seem to reflect any light, only asorb it.

Absorb.

And she didn't have the money to pay to make herself look beautifull.

And morso for being a Gardevoir.

Moreso.

The next day, everything seemed normal; Sara was once again, late to wake up. This was mostly caused by her throwing her latest alarm clock across the room once again.

No probs here, just a great line. How many alarm clocks has she gone through?

that she didn't notice the slight ammount of worry in George's eyes

Amount.

, human's liked having wierd things in their territories to show off to others, mates or family.

Weird.

With a sigh he gathered his skit up and sat down

Skirt, I presume.

But, because of it, all George could devine was something very bad was going to happen today,

Divine.

For George knew he was right about his premanition.

Premonition.

was if she had rememebered that before chosing her one pokemon

Remembered, and that should be choosing.

and Aron didn't even know anything half as powerfull as that!

Powerful.

Silver lay puddled around a chared rock like skelington

Skeleton.

On shakey legs she came to a halt a few feet from the corpse, forced too by the hissing, bubbling pool of liquid

Isn't it shaky? And wrong to there. Should be 'to'.

remains of her Aron smolder and cool down

Isn't it smoulder?

But she didn't care, all Sara could do was stare down at the remains of her Aron untill one of the teachers came over and forcefully turned and lead her away.

I think you missed something here. Forcefully turned what?

She almost didn't aknowledge George as she came through the gate and closed it behind her.

Acknowledge.

That's all the typos I found. I think you might have rushed this a little Ren, or you forgot to spell-check.

Other than that, it's a fantastic start to what looks to be a great fic.

Joshua
 

Yami Ryu

Well-Known Member
wah not another Psychic ;;

j/k Psychic, Skywing XD

anyways, yeah this was rushed. Got it out in oh, an hour or so o.o and the missing words, well, sometimes my keyboard gets sticky keys, I mean they stick not that program called that o_O or they just don't take.

<<; Not using it as an excuse but the what .. 4/5 year old thing is a factor.

And about spellchecker: I don't have it o.o frankly, I don't like what program it's put on, as Word ATE, just ATE one of my first stories. Then it burped and flipped me off ._.

alright I exagerate, but I know it was secretly laughing from the depths of my computer. Hope it got gas.

And tbh, it looks like this chapter has as many spelling errors as most of my long chapters usually contain XD
 
M

mindripper

Guest
Renegade, you have so many new fics it seems as though you are going on an onslaught on these boards or something. Seeing I had a lot of criticism of the last of your fics which I reviewed, I will see if I can do better this time. By the way, I noticed that you are a little kinder these days, I guess thats a good thing. Maybe not to you, but to me it certainly is.

only asorb it.

"Absorb", you mean?

and now sub adults had made fun of her

I am sorry, but I do not understand what a "sub adult" is. Not being sarcastic. I really do not know what it means. Care to share?

And she didn't have the money to pay to make herself look beautifull

"Beautiful".

Mostly because being psychic, George could sense his trainer's distress. And morso for being a Gardevoir.

The first portion is missing a word, and it is "moreso".

all George could devine was something very bad was going to happen today

Not sure if you want to use "divine" or "deduce". Do change it.

For George knew he was right about his premanition.

"Premonition".

Sincerely speaking, you have improved from the last one. It still is not very good, in all truthfulness, but you certainly have come some way from the last of your fics which I read. If I remember right, you do not use MS Word because it screws up your computer or something. Do get a spelling beta or something, because you really did make a lot of mistakes. I was picking them out, and then decided to just carry on with the story as it was getting very distracting to have to keep stopping and highlighting mistakes. It also gives us the impression that you gave the work your best shot. I realise that you put quite a bit of work into it, so why spoil that all by being sloppy with spelling and grammar? A few mistakes are fine, but you did make more than quite a few of those. Get a beta or proofread a few more times, ok? Other than that, I have no complaints for now, but I will let you know if I ever feel that your fic is going backwards or stagnating on quality. As you are so stringent on your reviews, I feel that you would expect us to let you know if the quality dips. Take care for now, and till next chapter.
 

Yami Ryu

Well-Known Member
.. um you do know Skywing pointed out nearly all the spelling errors you pointed out... and I'm pointing out you've yet to review any of my other fics. You only jumped the bandwagon to 'review' me. And you make it sound like I'm attacking the board with fics. Isn't a person allowed to post aslong as it's not spam? >.> sheesh. And please don't kick up how I review. I've already had to deal with a near flame-trolling war starter or whatever about how I review. In future, just please keep a review to that.

A review. Though I am glad you haven't made an *** of yourself like Naraku Diabolos has done.

Anyways.

Sincerely speaking, you have improved from the last one.

o_O and you have not read the other fics I made before that. So please. Don't do that.

Do get a spelling beta or something, because you really did make a lot of mistakes.

>> have you noticed most of the people that might beta my fic, are either busy, overloaded, or read most of the fics I'm doing? I would've maybe asked Scrap or Psychic to possibly beta, but I know they probably don't have the time. And no one's complained about the errors I've done so it's all good it seems.

You make it sound like I can't make any spelling errors at all o_O how would you like it if I basically said you can only post most perfect work? Sheesh, you only nitpicked this because I made so many spelling errors o.o I'm not trying to hide the fact I have or did. But I don't always think ahead and use a dictionary.

And sub adults usually mean something like 19/18, I've heard it used before, so sue me >.>

Edit: o.o oh no, someone gave me 5 stars ... I can just smell another AvTM star war thing coming
 
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mindripper

Guest
I reviewed one of your fics before. I read it, and tried to help you a little when others were attacking your fic. I reviewed your fic because I feel like it. Jeez, you could be a little more polite, seeing as I took the time to read through your fic. I did not read Skywing's reply, I read your fic, and replied. And no, I did not say that you were attacking the boards. If you would read carefully, and take my words for what I meant them to be, I simply meant that you have a lot of fics active right now. Nothing wrong with that, and I never said there was.

And please don't kick up how I review.

This is your thread, and I made a direct reference to you, the author. I said that I liked that you are actually kinder to people. Does that sound like an argument, or an attempt to start one?

Though I am glad you haven't made an *** of yourself like Naraku Diabolos has done.

What Naraku does is at his own discretion, and yes I am sure I have not made a fool of myself.

and you have not read the other fics I made before that.

As I said, I did read at least one of your fics. I would think that I would know what I read better than you would. In any case, saying you improved pisses you off? Ok then, carry on.

>> have you noticed most of the people that might beta my fic, are either busy, overloaded, or read most of the fics I'm doing?

It is up to the author to ensure that such errors are kept to a minimum. Saying that you are making these errors because your candidates for a beta are unavailable is pretty irresponsible. Surely looking through and trying to correct errors is not too hard?

You make it sound like I can't make any spelling errors at all o_O how would you like it if I basically said you can only post most perfect work? Sheesh, you only nitpicked this because I made so many spelling errors o.o I'm not trying to hide the fact I have or did. But I don't always think ahead and use a dictionary.

Of course you can make mistakes! Everybody does, and that is how we learn. We start by making mistakes, and then try to ensure we cut down on these mistakes the next time we do anything similar.

No, I would not like it if you decreed that I could only post perfect work. However, I would try my damndest best to make sure it is as close to perfect as I can go. If we write just to fall short of what we can do, then why write?

Of course you do not always use a dictionary. However, if you are not sure how a word is spelt, and still do not check it up, it is entirely your own fault. You can also substitute the word if you want. I am not nitpicking your work. I sincerely did not look at Skywing's reply, and highlighted what I could see, without looking too closely. There are definitely other errors, but I leave them to you to edit at your own time and pace. I merely point out what I think can be improved on, as far as yor work goes. If you make a lot of spelling mistakes, I am going to tell it straight to you. If you feel it is nitpicking, fine by me. Just as long as you do something about it. If you do not do anything about it, and still make many spelling mistakes in the next chapter, then you cannot deny that it is a weakness in your work, and that you have ignored advice. Take it whichever way you want to.
 
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Yami Ryu

Well-Known Member
It is up to the author to ensure that such errors are kept to a minimum. Saying that you are making these errors because your candidates for a beta are unavailable is pretty irresponsible. Surely looking through and trying to correct errors is not too hard?

I am not trying to excuse myself from the errors, I was just pointing out I can't get a beta to help me find the mistakes. And honestly, during the skim proof I did before posting, I did not catch the errors Skywing kindly pointed out. I am not trying to make excuses for my work. Where did I say I was trying to get out of the blame for making the errors? I just said I don't have Beta or Spellchecker, and the only dictionary I have access to is on FFnet.

Why I said don't kick up how I review is I am afraid Naraku would see you said that, and insant flame war all over again --;

And no, you've read that bad prologue I did for Colo XD. I meant one of my other two fics, if you read that you wouldn't have made the comment you did o_O that's what I was getting at.

And it's sorta pointless to only mention the typos. What, did you read the fic for that reason? o_O what about the story? *points at plot* you didn't give your input/output about that, or the characters, or even the battle scene. You only commented about how I made a mess of errors.
 
M

mindripper

Guest
Alright, I apologise for mentioning your reviewing, even though I believe it was complimentary, and that your being nicer is actually a good thing.

Well, I am sure there are other spellcheck programs around. In fact, I think someone will come and link you to one sooner rather than later. If all you need is the changing of spelling errors, you can PM me the chapter, and I will eradicate them for you before you post. Like that, you zap all your spelling errors and other people can concentrate on your story fully. I have to edit for other people, so I can only do spelling errors for you. The rest is up to yourself. Let me know.

I did read your story. I read through the battle, how Sara is insecure and the scene with George and herself in her home. I commented on the spelling because the plot has no immediate problems, and that the spelling, at least in my eyes, qualifies as one.

About your prologue, it still qualified as a fic in my eyes, seeing that you posted it on the fanfic boards. That sidetracks from the point, because the point is that I felt you improved from what I saw in that fic, and no matter which way you take it, it is still a positive thing.

Actually, to carry on from what I said, neither of the previous people who reviewed said too much about the story, probably as there were no huge holes and it is only the first chappie. I wait for a while longer to make a concrete judgment on that. Why did I mention the errors, seeming as though I nitpicked? I am sure there are more errors than what Skywing and myself picked out. Also, you ever try to listen to a radio which has a lot of static? Same thing here. I was being sidetracked by the errors, and I wanted to raise them up so that it would not do the same for future reviewers, and so that they can read your story in its entirety.
 

Yami Ryu

Well-Known Member
o.o wait two people reviewed? gah e.e yeah you're right plot wasn't mentioned much. Guess I just got defensive that you were doing a grudge post like several others have given me in return for the reviews I gave them. >.> so guess I should apologize also, for doing that. So sorry.

I really would just need a spell checker beta ... though it depends on if you feel you can handle being bogged down by two big chapters, as I would like one for AvTM o_O cause ... there is one typo Psychic pointed out that I have no clue about. Wether it was while or wild. I think it could be while.
 

Alecat

I'm Back!
Ueeeehh, poor Aron! "Alas, poor Aron. I knew him not" I think I'm quoting an already mutilated quote.

Anywho, I really enjoyed this, after getting over the idea of a male Gardevoir... named George. (I get sucked into stereotypes and character moulds easily, heh! It's nice to find a fic that can smash them all apart and change my perspective...)
 

Yami Ryu

Well-Known Member
I seem to have shocked people with my Gardevoir named George XD well, it was either George, or Magnus. But I thought George would be better and seem more realistic coming from Sara. That and Magnus makes me think of an uppity character that's all snobby to others o.o

And yes, you quoted a mutilated quote, but quoting mutilated quotes is fun to quote XD and thanks for the review Alecat
 
M

mindripper

Guest
Well, I posted again in the reviewer thread that I can do spellchecks. If possible, for a single fic per author, ok, unless one of them is a one-shot or a prologue. If one of your fics only has a single problem, then it is also doable. Just to make sure, I will only change the spelling and obvious grammar mistakes. The rest is solely up to you. Plot etc will be at your own discretion and I will not change anything, which is what you probably want as well.

Erm, why would I post just to start an argument? You never reviewed any of my stuff before, so I cannot be acting on a grudge. That said, I disliked your chewing up of all things newb on this boards, and the way you reply at times, but it is getting better now, at least. In any case, now is not the time nor place to discuss that, right.
 

Joshua - Shadow Brigadier

Well-Known Member
Renegade said:
wah not another Psychic ;;

j/k Psychic, Skywing XD

anyways, yeah this was rushed. Got it out in oh, an hour or so o.o and the missing words, well, sometimes my keyboard gets sticky keys, I mean they stick not that program called that o_O or they just don't take.

<<; Not using it as an excuse but the what .. 4/5 year old thing is a factor.

And about spellchecker: I don't have it o.o frankly, I don't like what program it's put on, as Word ATE, just ATE one of my first stories. Then it burped and flipped me off ._.

alright I exagerate, but I know it was secretly laughing from the depths of my computer. Hope it got gas.

And tbh, it looks like this chapter has as many spelling errors as most of my long chapters usually contain XD

o_O I'm glad Word doesn't do that to me.

But Ren, in all seriousness, if you want a full beta, I can help. I can look over the chapters for you in advance, and point out anything that looks out of place.

Joshua
PS. Computer with gas, what an image. =D
 

Lady Myuu

Damsel mostly Stressed.
actrually, I've figured out the best thing to do with Ren's fics is to run them through your own spell checker o.o I did it and PMed it to her. It caught alot of the miner mistakes.

Not done reading the fic yet, kinda passed out from doing stuff today.

Little mistakes always slip past me, if it wasn't for my word working, I fear what my fics would be like ;;

Um, yeah. :p looks good so far. I'll edit a full review in.
 

Seijiro Mafuné

Diogomainardista!
Tick tock tick tock- third time's the charm.

I guess that I have been a bit too harsh with this, but it's just that I hate to see Gardevoir in the hands of someone who might write it badly, so I reacted as accordingly as I did. Now that I've slept, I'm gonna try and complain better, so that this doesn't get deleted. Again.

First of all, as usual, why do you think an Aron can melt and die in, say, a minute of Flamethrower? Wouldn't it take more? I mean, I didn't read anywhere stating it's a baby (and even if it was, I don't see why she would have used it then) and it's partially a Rock-type. I know it's not something the animé would really care about, but come on! That's like saying Psychic attacks can affect Bug-types because they're not really hives. (But I bet that you'd write that happening.)

Oh, and for a male, that Gardevoir was pretty frail. I don't mean it as sexism or anything - I'm just pretty sure that frail isn't the adjective to be used here.

Thirdly, and this is more like a comment to your comment, is this supposed to be a soap opera? Otherwise, I think a single pairing would be enough trouble to deal with.

I don't really have anything else to say, since you already know from previous posts what my opinion is. And if you try to delete this, I'll come back and post. I'll review each and every chapter, and you only have yourself to blame - since you threw the first cheap kick.
 

Yami Ryu

Well-Known Member
A thanks to Lady Myuu for beta'ing my first chapter and clearing up most of my mistakes. And Seijou, please, listen to my PM. Delete your post. Go away. Or I will get a mod, or worse, mock you in my sig. Do you really want to see; 'A Girl and her Gardevoir' Seijou hates this fic apparently for it has a girl and a Gardevoir, so read it as he claims you all shouldn't or something like that. Cause seriously, you're giving reviewers bad names now --; and don't bother replying, as I said in pm to you, you're ignored for being closed minded and stupid and trolling.

Anyways, depending on how my writing goes, the next chapter for this might be up in another week. Depends on how much of this I get to write XD
 

Seijiro Mafuné

Diogomainardista!
First of all, it's Seijiro. Secondly, that doesn't work because I don't dislike this fic because it has a girl and a Gardevoir, I dislike it because I'm pretty sure it'll be rammed into the ground like Misty's character. But I figure your ramming won't look like it to anyone else.

Secondly, I'm not scared of you enough to back down. You probably didn't receive my response, so here's something similar: I may have given a harsh review, but you didn't even tell me at the first time that due to that you were asking someone to delete it. No, I was too small for you, right? So insignificant. Well, to me, you're even more insignificant. And I am gonna review, like it or not. So now you should stop asking me to stop, because I feel even more hurt than you. And as I keep saying... you threw the cheap kick, not me.

Third, I'm not close-minded or stupid. I'm pretty liberal, actually. Just because I'm a closet romantic and I don't keep exhibiting myself doesn't mean I am a grouch. And ships with Gardevoir happen to be one of my favorite things.

But, since this is apparently a flame, according to you (funnily enough, first time wasn't that bad comparing to the other review I gave), you'll ignore it and ask for deletion, probably.

You know what, though? I dare you to review my fics. After all, either you haven't checked them or you decided not to review them if you did. Weird thing anyway.

Too bad I can't stop you from writing, would have avoided both our current problems.
 
If you could mearly shoo, that works just as well.

I stealth read and erm eyah xD Took a while to get my head round not thinking of the Garde as your other George or my George, male Garde couldn't care since I've drawn one. Is lovely one is used in a fic though, and suffering the diasters of the long skirt wearing we all loathe so much.

Having the collar is a nice touch also, rarely has there been some form of restainment when outside or lacking a ball to be stuck in all day and the fact he stays willingly regardless really does play on the pokedex stuff.

And to this whole Aron upset, where that plating is, it'll be over protecting a much more vunerable part like what makes it live, focused and high enoguh temp, melts, vuenrable bit exposed, insta boil, it's perfectly workable.


More of this and your other lurkie fics kthx :p

Sandra
 
S

Shiny_deoxys

Guest
Very very good Renegade.

That was amazing. I personally liked the character of Sara, she was very real. I had a friend just like her in my high school, one who was shy and reclusive. Sara reminded me of her, and it was very well done.

I also like George. I did a fic where a Gardevoir was the main character, and I really liked the way you portrayed him. He was able to show kindness and compassion like a real Gardevoir would, and the detail of emotions was so precise that I could feel them myself as I read from your story.

My favorite thing about this, however, is the society. You are trying to portray a character that still loves pokemon as the friends they are, not as the world sees them; as tools in battling. It makes the world more believable, unlike the game where EVERYONE is friends with their pokemon, except the bad guys and people like Claire.

Only one thing I have to ask. Why was Gardevoir on a pokemon reserve? I thought a pokemon of that status would be off doing important things in the world, trying to find a trainer and such. I don't know, maybe its just me.

By the way, are you going to ever show this story from any other pokemon's point of view? I would like to see what Numel was thinking when he torched, whether he liked to kill the small Aron, or if he never forgave himself for what he had done. Anyways, great work, and I can't wait for the next chapter.
 
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