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A Journey To Remember!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by ysmr97, Dec 16, 2012.

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What is Your Favorite of Conor's Pokemon?

  1. Linoone

    3 vote(s)
    33.3%
  2. Mightyena

    3 vote(s)
    33.3%
  3. Murkrow

    3 vote(s)
    33.3%
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. ysmr97

    ysmr97 Well-Known Member

    Character Bio's
    Main Characters:
    Conor: ;264; ;262; ;198;
    Ciara: ;231; ;278; ;406;
    LJ: ;328; ;041; ;180;
    Liam: ;058; ;333; ;207;
    Luke: ;404; ;236;

    Supporting Characters:
    Dorothy: Seen: ;216; ;184; ;118; Mentioned: ;300; ;189; :509: ;431; ;052; ;315;
    Grandpa: ;351;

    Minor Characters:
    Matt: ;066; ;046;
    The Breeder: Owns ;262; ;264; Gave Away: ;egg; ;egg;

    PM List:
    Chapter Of Charizard
    TheSilentBang
    ShinyBlackWhite
    Joey1234
    Ampharoid

    Chapter 1

    I woke up in the morning with eight paws on my chest and two noses sniffing my face. I open my eyes and see the faces of my Poochyena and Zigzagoon light up with excitement that I have awoken. I turn on my side as they try to lick my face to see my parents standing there with a packed bag and.... is that.... a Pokedex?!

    “Guys! You shouldn’t have!” I cry out.

    “Well it’s not everyday you start your journey,” my dad says pridefully.

    My facial expression changes to a mixture of happiness and seriousness. “I'm going to miss you guys.”

    “We’ll miss you too,” my mom says. “Now go downstairs. I made waffles.”

    My favorite! I run downstairs, while Poochie and Ziggy run past me. It’s more their favorite than mine.

    After our breakfast, we all go outside. It’s a beautiful summer morning, with a family of Pidgeys and Pidgeottos flying with their Pidgeot parents. My two Pokemon are chasing each other around in the sun. My neighbor is outside with his Machop and Paras. They both have beaten my Pokemon before.

    “Hey Matt! Wanna battle?” I yell, feeling lucky.

    “Are you serious? Do you WANT to be swamped again?”

    “Thats not going to happen this time! Poochie, Ziggy, let’s battle!”

    Matt and I walk into the street and some of the block gathers. Another neighbor, Liam and my brother, also named Liam, volunteer to referee. Matt lines up Machop and Paras up.

    “Double battle! Lets go!” And without warning he yells, “Machop, Karate Chop! Paras, Leech Life!”

    To be continued...

    Current Party: ;263; ;261;

    Currently Battling: ;066; ;046;
     
    Last edited: May 14, 2013
  2. ysmr97

    ysmr97 Well-Known Member

    Chapter 2

    Machop throws a heavy hand towards Zigzagoon. He quickly dodges it, like we practiced. He then quickly counters with a strong tackle. Machop falters back a few feet. Quickly, Paras jumps out of nowhere with a growing claw, and hits Poochyena with a strong blow. You can see Poochie’s hurt, but there is one benefit to that. Poochyena gets back up, and his feet start to glow. This was because of his ability, Rattled.

    He runs like the wind, and then stops quickly, kicking up a strong cloud of dust and sand, that blinds both Machop and Paras. The he quickly uses Bite on Paras, which causes immense damage.

    Suddenly, the hair on Ziggy’s back then starts to glow. I hold up my pokedex and scan the move. It is called Pin Missile. Then the glowing hairs start to shoot off and hit Machop, one by one. Then, Ziggy opened his mouth, and the move that we have practiced over and over started up. Sparks formed around his teeth, and a small beam launched at Machop. He fell to the ground, and fainted.

    “Machop! No!” Matt cried out. “Paras! Leech Life!”

    Quickly, a small beam hit Poochyena. It seemed to hurt Poochyena, but heal Paras. But this activated Rattled even further, and Poochie ran so fast that he was barely visible. His teeth began to ignite. It was Fire Fang!

    “Great job guys!” I screamed.

    Poochie then sprinted and bit Paras with its ignited teeth. Paras fainted.
    “I won!” I screamed. “My pokemon learned a bunch of new moves, and I won!”

    The block roared for my victory. After all, they are my first fans.

    Then, my little sister came up to me with her Phanpy by her side and Wingull on her shoulder. “Conor! I have a great idea!” she exclaimed. “You should challenge the gyms of the region! I know it’s always been your dream!”

    I looked at her and said, “That’s exactly what I'm gonna do.”

    To be continued...

    Current Party: ;263; ;261;
     
    Last edited: Jan 25, 2013
  3. Chapter

    Chapter hello, im back sorta

    LOL, it's really good! I like how you used me, haha. Anyway, there are really close to know mistakes. In the first paragraph, you have an "ANd" that should be "and". LOL I like it a lot, remember to write on mine! XP
     
  4. ysmr97

    ysmr97 Well-Known Member

    lol thanks! and definatley!
     
  5. ysmr97

    ysmr97 Well-Known Member

    Chapter 3

    I have been dreaming of beating the gyms of my home region since I was a kid. My region is called the Rentoh region. It is a large island that has no pokemon unique to itself. We are the product of settlers from Unova, Kanto, and many other regions throughout many years, so we have a diverse population of pokemon. My family is full of well known trainers. My dad is the retired Elite Four Champion, my cousin is the new Saffron City Gym Leader, filling in for Sabrina while she follows her dream of becoming an actress, and my grandma is a gym leader.

    My grandma is relatively easy to beat, so she will be my first badge. Her official expertise is normal types, but she really just picks the most ‘adorable’ pokemon out there.

    Lucky for me, she lives in my town.

    So, I started to walk to her house. My two pokemon started running around me in circles, yipping and barking at each other. I think they too are excited about getting our first gym badge. I run through possible strategies. Zigzagoon has Pin Missile and Charge Beam for us. Poochyena has Fire, Thunder, Ice and Poison Fangs, thanks to his breeder. I think all of these together can result in victory. At last, I reached my grandmother’s gym. Or should I say house.

    I rang the doorbell. After a few seconds, my grandpa and his Castform came to the door. He is a bit of a weather freak, so he likes knowing tomorrow’s forecast in advance. Right now, Castform was in the Sun form.

    “Hey Grandpa. Is Grandma here?” I asked.

    “Hey Conor. She’s in the back right now. Come on in,” he says.

    “Thanks.”

    We walk through the house, towards the back door.

    “Good luck,” He says.

    I walk out, into the open lawn that is the battleground.

    “Grandma! I’m ready for my first gym battle!”

    “Okay,” she replies.

    She throws a Pokeball, which releases a Teddiursa.

    “Let’s go.”

    To be continued....


    Current Party: ;263; ;261;

    Currently Battling: ;216; ???
     
    Last edited: Jan 25, 2013
  6. Psychic

    Psychic Really and truly Staff Member Moderator

    Please read the Fan Fiction Rules: each chapter must be at least two pages long on Microsoft Word in standard font size, and it looks like you're falling a bit short. Please try to bump up each of your chapters. The best way to do this would be by adding description - describe people, places, things and Pokemon, as well as actions and emotions. During battle, describe how each Pokemon acts and reacts - if they look like they have a lot of energy or are panting and struggling just to stand. Show how a Pokemon reacts to getting hit by an attack - do they cry out in pain, do their legs start shaking, do they collapse in one go or struggle to stay standing? It's little things like this that can add excitement to a story (while also adding the needed length).

    Please be sure to make the proper edits, as it really shouldn't take long. If you need ideas or inspiration on how to do it, read a few other fics here and see how they do it. Good luck,
    ~Psychic
     
  7. ysmr97

    ysmr97 Well-Known Member

    Oh! I'm sorry! I'll be sure to start lengthening it. But what size is standard size>
     
  8. bobandbill

    bobandbill Winning Smile Staff Member Super Mod

    I believe it's Arial size 12. It's detailed in the fanfictions rules thread (sticky, top of this section), so it's worth a read.
     
  9. ysmr97

    ysmr97 Well-Known Member

    Ok! Thanks! And does it HAVE to be 2 pages or can it lean towards 1 1/2?
     
  10. ysmr97

    ysmr97 Well-Known Member

    Chapter 4

    “Go Poochie!” I yelled.

    On my command, Poochyena lunged forward, growling, teeth barred. It’s surprising that he can bark at a Pokemon so adorable and innocent as a Teddiursa.

    “Teddy, use Fury Swipes!” my grandma yells.

    Suddenly, Teddiursa starts to bombard Poochyena with multiple scratches on the face and body.

    “Poochyena! Quickly! Poison Fang!”

    Suddenly, Poochyena’s teeth become a disgusting, acidic looking purple color. He dashed towards the Little Bear pokemon, and sunk its teeth into it. Teddiursa screamed in pain, and my Grandma suddenly called out to Teddiursa.

    “Use your new move, Teddiursa!!!”

    The bear’s claws began to glow with a white aura. It then hit my Poochyena with these razor sharp claws. I scanned it with my Pokedex. It was called Slash. I can definitely see how it earned its name.

    Poochyena was weak. This is the hardest it’s ever battled. It’s knees were shaking tremendously.

    Then I yell out “Poochyena! Assurance!”

    Poochyena starts to charge at Teddiursa. He has a shocking look of ambition in his eye, devotion even deeper than the ocean.

    “Teddiursa! Another Slash!”

    The exact second that Poochyena hits him, Teddiursa hits him with a razor sharp claw.

    They collide so hard, a cloud of dust gets kicked up.

    The dust clears. And I see a passed out Teddiursa, and a Poochyena struggling to stand up. A feeling of pride pumps through my body.

    “Great job, Poochie!” I scream. I take out his pokeball. “Now just take a nice rest, Poochyena.”

    A red light comes out of the pokeball, hits Poochyena, and he dissolves into light, and is recalled.

    The referee called out “Challenger: One. Leader: Zero. Currently ahead is the challenger, Conor.”

    I spend a little bit thinking over in my head.

    I’ve known Grandma’s pokemon for years. Which could it be? It could be Skitty, or maybe Jumpluff? Oh, I know! It’s Purrloin. Or Glameow... Or maybe even Meowth! Ugh.... she has so many different Pokemon to choose from! Most can probably beat Zigzagoon! Will I not actually win my first badge on the first try?

    “Good game so far, Conor.” My grandma yells across the field. “You have really developed into quite the trainer, evident by the way you battled with your little Poochyena. I can’t wait to see how Zigzagoon will battle!”

    As soon as she said that, I could see I was at a major disadvantage. She has known my 2 Pokemon since they were both born, yet she has so many pokemon I can not even begin to keep track of them all.

    “Well let’s find out, Grandma!” I said. “Go Zigzagoon!”

    The second I sent out little Zigzagoon, he was as peppy and eager as ever. Just like Poochyena, he knew what his goal was, and wanted it bad. Perhaps even more so than me.

    “Nice to see you again, Ziggy!” My grandma says, happily. “Do either of you remember my Azumarill?”

    Right when she says its name, the Aqua Rabbit pokemon appeared in front of Zigzagoon, almost 3 times its size.

    To be continued....

    Current Party: ;263; ;261;

    Currently Battling: ;216; (fainted) ;184;
     
    Last edited: Dec 17, 2012
  11. RealRaymon

    RealRaymon Good series at last!

    at least. So I guess 1 1/2 is not recommended. Mine are usually 3-4
     
  12. ysmr97

    ysmr97 Well-Known Member

    Chapter 5

    Zigzagoon looked the big, blubbery water rabbit in the eyes. Azumarill looked down at Ziggy with an intense glare. Even then, my Tiny Raccoon Pokemon did not back down. Instead, he glared right back with his deep brown eyes.

    Then, without warning, my grandma screamed "Azumarill! Quick, use Water
    Gun!"

    Suddenly, the Azumarill sucked in a deep breath, and then quickly exhaled, shooting a strong shot of water at Zigzagoon.

    Zigzagoon was pushed back a few inches, but still stood his ground. He just shook his body until he was dry, and awaited my first command.

    "Zigzagoon! Pin Missile!"

    He then began to shoot razor sharp needles at Azumarill.

    "Azumarill! Defense Curl!"

    Before the spikes even hit, Azumarill curled into a ball. When the needles hit, they didn't seem to do much damage.

    "Azumarill! While rolled up, use Rollout!"

    Azumarill started to roll, and like a runaway tire, it rolled towards Zigzagoon.

    "Zigzagoon! Quickly! Use Headbutt on Azumarill!"

    Zigzagoon started to dash at the Azumarill, and when there was a good distance between the two, he launched himself at the rolling rabbit.

    Both where knocked back, but Zigzagoon was launched through the air. The small raccoon flew right into a nearby pond. Goldeen in the pond swam away in fear from the sudden splash in their aquatic home.

    After a second or two, Zigzagoon resurfaced. Then, his usually dark brown eyes turned an aqua color. I quickly got out my pokedex to scan this unusual occurance.

    The second I scan Ziggy, he summoned a large wave out of the pond water, and began to ride on it. This, the pokedex defined as the move Surf.

    The wave crashed on the still dazed Azumarill. On the way down, Zigzagoon hit the Aqua Rabbit with a strong Headbutt.

    The whole grass field became flooded and waterlogged. Azumarill was waist deep in water. It was hurt, but not too badly.

    I looked around the field. It was a grass field, with white lines outlining it. Outside those lines, where a pool and a few garden decorations, like birdbaths and such. Suddenly, I had an excellent idea.

    "Zigzagoon! Jump up onto that birdbath!”

    He looked confused, but he did as I said. Then he looked at me, expecting my next command.

    Without hesitation, I screamed, “Ziggy, use Charge Beam on the field!”

    Up on his perch, Ziggy summoned a few sparks in between his teeth. He then shot a beam of electricity at the flooded field. The water conducts the electricity, and Azumarill falls.

    “The Leader Dorothy is out of usable Pokemon. The winner is the challenger, Conor!” The referee calls out.

    I am dumbfounded. I can barely believe I have won my first gym battle!

    My grandmother holds out her pokeball. “Azumarill, return!” she says as the pokemon dissolves into light that retreats into the pokeball. “Great match guys!” She then yells to me and my pokemon.

    She then begins to walk along the sidelines of the field to reach me. When she finally gets there, she hands me a shiny badge, in the shape of a paw print.

    It was my first gym badge!

    After the battle, we walk back inside to see my Grandpa with his Castform, which is now in its Rain Form.

    I then say my goodbyes, then walk outside, admiring my first gym badge as I hold it in my fingers.

    But, suddenly, a dark figure swoops down, tears it from my hands, and flies away.

    To be continued....

    Current Party: ;263; ;261;
     
    Last edited: Dec 17, 2012
  13. Chapter

    Chapter hello, im back sorta

    Wow! It's really great! The chapters getting longer really does make it better, and I can't stop reading! No joke! I mean, its not perfect, but Its very welll written and I love the way this is going! Kepp up the good work! Also, Later, before conor leavs for his journey, you should have the Liams double Battle Him! Or, are they going with him? Bleh, dont ruin it! XD
     
  14. ysmr97

    ysmr97 Well-Known Member

    haha that just made my day xD and one of your predictions may or may not come true xD
     
  15. ysmr97

    ysmr97 Well-Known Member

    Chapter 6
    “Hey! Come back here!” I yell after the bird-like silhouette as it flies down the street.

    I need to get this back! I thought to myself, frantically. This is my first gym badge! We worked so hard for it!

    I started to sprint after the flying shape in the sky. I took out both of my pokeballs and release Poochyena and Zigzagoon.

    “Hey guys, ya see that flying thing? I think it’s a pokemon! Anyways, it stole our badge! The one we worked so hard on!” I explained to my two partner pokemon. “We have to chase after it and get that badge back!”

    The look on their faces is astonishing. They both had expressions of mixed devastation and devotion. They worked so hard at this badge, almost to the point of pure exhaustion, and in seconds it was torn right out of their grasp. Or, technically, mine.

    They shook off their hard feelings, and they rushed ahead.

    But, alas, the flying Pokemon was too fast for them.

    Well, at least for the moment.

    Almost completely in unison, my Zigzagoon and Poochyena body’s were both engulf in an almost blinding white light. Their shapes began to morph into that of another form.

    “They.... They are.... evolving!” I murmured softly to myself. “I can’t believe it! Poochie and Ziggy are evolving!”

    Soon, the bright white light faded. There stood two new Pokemon, who looked vaguely familiar but still completely foreign to me. As soon as they fully developed into these new forms, they took off like lightning.

    I took out my Pokedex to scan my two new Pokemon, while all three of us sprinted after the flying Pokemon with our first badge.

    The first one was called Mightyena. It was apparently the evolution of Poochyena. The second was named Linoone, and he was the evolution of Zigzagoon.
    But wait, there was a third entry!

    On my Pokedex screen appeared a Raven looking Pokemon. It’s name was Murkrow. It’s Pokedex entry specifically said that it loves to steal and collect shiny things. The pokemon with my badge was a Murkrow.

    I looked up and realized how close Linoone and Mightyena where to that Murkrow. It’s gunna be a little hard to get used to their new found speed.

    “Linoone! Charge Beam!” I yell. “Mightyena! Use Ice Fang!”

    Linoone shot his signature Charge Beam at Murkrow, and sure enough it was a direct hit.

    The Murkrow fell towards the ground, but caught itself in mid air and started flapping away again. But, this time, Mightyena gained extra speed and launched itself into the air, and bit Murkrow with his Icy Fangs.

    Murkrow fell to the ground, and fainted on the spot.

    I saw the badge right there next to it. I bent down and picked it up.

    “Guys! I got it!” I yelled to my newly evolved Pokemon. “I got the badge back!”

    I looked at Murkrow. In a way I felt bad for him. He just wanted a shiny thing to call his own. He just happened to like my badge.

    I remembered something that i had it my pocket. It was an empty pokeball. I took it out of my pocket, and threw it at Murkrow. It trapped him inside, started to shake, and then stopped, ensuring his capture.

    I took Murkrow to the nearest Pokemon Center, and while I waited for the nurse to heal him, I made him something I knew he’d like. When I got his Pokeball, I let him out.

    “Hey Murkrow, sorry for the fight.” I said in a sympathetic tone. “I understand that you like shiny things, but that one thing meant a lot to me and my friends. But I made you this.”

    I pulled out a shiny gold coin on a necklace, and put it around his neck.

    “I hope you like it.”
    Murkrow sat there for a few seconds, and it seems like he was, kind of, speechless, in Pokemon terms.

    He then looked up at me, smiled, and replied peppily “Krow!”

    To be continued....


    Current Party: ;264; ;262; ;198;
     
  16. Chapter

    Chapter hello, im back sorta

    Its awesome! XD
     
  17. Xragon

    Xragon Dragon Master

    I'm interested in this fic! There should have been more backstory to how Conor obtained poochie and ziggy... it was kind of random. I also didn't like how they evolved so quick into the fic...
     
  18. Chapter

    Chapter hello, im back sorta

    Eh... I'd say that those complaints are invalid. Think of the Anime or Manga. They always evolve at obvious times. And, I dont think there needs to be a back story; in fact, a back story would ruin it. A story is something that you read, while giving you some imagination too. If I read the Hunger Games, and it said "I like to hunt. I will die in an arena. I fight. I won." That would be terrible. But, in a story like this one, its description and lack of description leaves the perfect room for an individuals creativity. Maybe Conor caught Zigzagoon first, but then Poochie was his first encounter. Maybe Poochie was a gift from a professor, but zigzagoon befriended Conor afterwards. The possibilities are endless, and insignifigant details such as yours are the perfect kind that shouldnt be stated. Nothing too major, but also nothing of such unimortance.
     
  19. ysmr97

    ysmr97 Well-Known Member

    Hey buddy! I understand your complaints, but remember that I plan this fic. ;) I understand the vagueness of Poochie and Ziggy. I am planning to go into their backstory more and more in the following chapters, maybe even putting a possible Murkrow storyline I was toying with aside for now. I don't want to just tell u now how he got them. And for the evolutions, in-game Zigzagoon and Poochyena evolve at low levels, and they have just beaten an extremely hard gym and a tough neighborhood trainer. And Conor has probably had them for a while.... Thanks for the feedback, and read on! :)
     
  20. flygonlj

    flygonlj Member

    i love your fan fiction!!! keep it up!!!!
     
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