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A Mew Me: Reborn

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by DreamSayer, Dec 31, 2017.

  1. DreamSayer

    DreamSayer Name's Adam.

    Chapter Index

    Chapter 1: Daybreak

    Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift. But tomorrow doesn't exist, because we only live in the now. So, that means every day is a gift. That's what she used to tell me when I was little…


    A shop cashier hummed to himself while leaning back on his chair, glancing at his wristwatch every now and then as closing time drifted closer. It wasn't an eventful day. Not many customers showed up, and he had so many plans that evening that he couldn't help but stand on the edge of his toes throughout his shift.

    “Urrgh, can this get any more boring?!” The cashier sighed, planting his face on the counter.


    “Whu?” He looked up and found a small blue, penguin-like Pokémon tilting its head at him. “Whoa there, where did youcome from?”

    The Piplup shut its eyes, smiling as it clapped its flippers.

    The cashier mellowed his face, patting the water Pokémon on the head. “Aww, aren't you the most adorable thing. You lose your trainer or someth—” He paused when he noticed a girl about to exit the shop, her long pink dress packed full of snacks.

    The girl looked his way, her mouth opening slightly, and her brunette hair almost covering half of her face. The cashier was immediately confused when he saw the blue blotches on the few exposed parts of her skin, giving her an almost alien appearance.

    “What the?! Where do you think you're taking those?! They're for sale only!”

    “Mew, hurry!” the girl screamed as she dashed out of the glass door with her stolen goods.

    “Get back here yo—” The cashier scrunched up his face and winced. He looked down and found his hand frozen to the counter. His heart wanted to leap from his chest when the Piplup turned white and morphed into a Swadloon. The cashier jerked back, reaching for a button under the counter, but before he could react or do anything further, the swadloon sprayed him with a white silky substance and he found himself taped to the wall in a sticky cocoon.

    The cashier watched helplessly as this Pokémon scurried out of the shop. He tried to struggle out of the cocoon, but to no avail.

    The cashier stared down at his body. I'm so getting fired for this…

    As Mew, then disguised as an Abra, stormed out of the shop, she caught sight of her human companion waiting for her outside, bouncing on her toes impatiently.

    “Hurry and take us home before they come after us!” the girl squeaked, adjusting her dress to not spill her snacks.

    People attending to their daily lives walked past the duo, some minding their own business while others stared at the girl with amusement, caution or disgust at her blue skin.

    Mew chuckled as she wrapped her tail around the girl's hand. ‘Away we go!’ Mew hummed, speaking in her Pokémon tongue.

    “Hey, somebody stop that girl!” another man with a matching work uniform shouted, running out of the shop. By the time anyone decided to do anything about the girl, she and Mew blared up in a white flash and disappeared out of the scene completely.


    A breeze accompanied them as they materialized in a small room. The girl slowly pried her eyes open, taking in her surroundings as she dropped her dress, allowing her food to fall on the peach colored carpet.

    “Bah, I'm so hungry!” she said as she plopped down, sitting cross-legged. “You can pick what we eat first, Mew!” the girl chimed, but then her smile was immediately interrupted by a series of coughs.

    ‘Kuki, are you okay?!’ Mew asked, lowering her eyes.

    “It's okay, I'm fine,” Kuki lied. Her chest had been aching her all day, making it strainful to breathe, and her coughs had gotten worse since the last handful of days. “You don't have to worry about me… I'm fine.”

    ‘But you're turning more and more blue every day. Don't you think it's time we took you to one of those doctor humans?’

    “No! They'll take me away from you… I don't want that. I told you, I'm fine, so, please stop worrying,” Kuki said, pouting her face.

    ‘Okay, I believe you,’ Mew said, though not entirely convinced. To change the subject, Mew pulled out a bag of chips, smiling. ‘I get to pick, right? Let's start by eating this, then!’

    Kuki beamed, helping Mew to open the plastic bag with her more dexterous hands. All the while, Mew couldn't stop staring at the blue blotches creeping up Kuki’s cheeks. They'd almost taken over most of the girl's face.

    “Aren't you going to take any?” Kuki asked while chewing audibly.

    Mew broke out of her worried thoughts. Her eyes glowed purple, then a few chips surrounded by blue psychic energy drifted to her. Kuki held back a giggle as she watched her nibble down the chips.

    After they were done eating, Mew took Kuki outside to play. Together, she helped the girl set up a kite and watched her run around until the kite glided into the sky.

    The fragile string then snapped.

    “Oh no! My kite!” Kuki shrieked as she gave chase, only to be stopped by the stone fence.

    Mew dashed past her and caught the kite in midair with her psychic, smiling as she brought it back to Kuki. ‘It's okay, I got it!’

    “Thanks Mew!” Kuki hummed, throwing Mew a tight embrace, almost crushing the kite in the process.

    Mew smiled, returning the warmth of the hug. ‘What's gotten into you all of a sudden?’ asked Mew, mildly pulling away from Kuki’s arms.

    Kuki fondled her hair as she grinned. “Nothing. I just felt like hugging you.”

    They played a few more games following that, and they had a great time with just each other. However, their fun was cut short when Kuki suddenly started coughing again, and though the girl didn't want to stop playing outside, Mew convinced her that they should go back inside for the day.

    ‘Here, this might help you feel better,’ Mew said while in the form of a Monferno, dishing out warm oran berry soup to Kuki, who was lying on her bed cocooned in a blanket.

    Kuki sat up, watching steam rise from the bowl as she held in her palms. “Where are you going to go today?” Kuki asked, a smile slowly building on her face.

    ‘Same as always, I go wherever the wind takes me!’ Mew exclaimed, waving her paw in the air.

    “Can you please take me with you this time? I promise I'll stick close and not cause any trouble for you!” Kuki pleaded.

    Mew lowered her paw, shaking her head solemnly. ‘I'm sorry, but the things I do away from here are too dangerous for a human. Besides, you're unwell at the moment. You'll be safe here until I get back.’ When Kuki moaned in response, Mew continued, ‘Tomorrow, I promise I'll take you wherever you want to go!’

    “You promise?!”

    ‘Only on one condition though: You'll have to let me take you to the human doctors so they can cure you. Agreed?’

    Kuki pouted, groaning audibly for a few moments before finally conceding a defeated sigh. “Fine, I'll go,” she said, pushing her tongue against her cheek.

    ‘That's my girl! Now sit tight and don't go anywhere, okay?’ Mew hovered to Kuki and raised her paws. ‘You're precious to me, Kuki, and I'll help you battle whatever’s troubling you right now,’ Mew said, caressing her cheeks before she vanished in a flash of white.

    Kuki’s smile lingered for a few seconds more. She curled back on the bed, the thoughts about where they could go the following day filling her thoughts. She hummed to herself as she yawned, then, she went silent until she fell asleep.


    The following day, Kuki woke up with a pained expression as she held her chest tightly. For a few minutes after that, she was continuously coughing, only managing to breathe a few seconds in between.

    “Urgh, there's blood now? ” Kuki muttered, glaring at the small red beads mixed in with her saliva. She shakily rubbed it off with a rag sitting in the room.

    I need… water,she determined, gazing at the bathroom door.

    Kuki went in and washed her face thoroughly, but she spent longer than she'd planned in there due to her unrelenting coughs. As she was about to leave, a jolt of pain scorched her lungs, forcing her to spend seconds wheezing and gasping for breath.

    Kuki left the bathroom, stumbling short of reaching her bed. She looked up at the stairs leading into the room she resided in. Pondering over it for a few seconds, she decided she needed some more fresh air outside.

    Holding firmly to the rails, she climbed her way up, periodically coughing as she went up. Her illness was severely worsening, that much she had realized by then. She begged for Mew’s presence at that moment, to tell her how wrong she was about not going to a hospital, and that she needed help, but Mew would not return from her adventuring trips for the next several hours. Mew would return at night if Kuki was lucky.

    The door slammed against the wall of the lighthouse as She pushed it open. She was taking heavy breaths as the ocean wind washed over her, her long hair dancing with the breeze. She found her way to an old bench nearby and sat, gazing silently at the calm ocean waters in the warm light of dawn.

    How many years had it been since she'd been living with Mew on the island? She couldn't tell. It was the only place she'd ever truly known for as long as she could remember.

    Kuki lay down on the bench, wrapping her arms around her as her body grew cold. Her vision was growing blurry—objects seemed to float and duplicate around her—and a wave of exhaustion hit her suddenly. She mulled over what was happening to her; why her skin started turning blue in the last few months.

    Hours passed and nightfall slowly crept in, but Kuki only felt her condition worsening with every second that passed. By then, her heart raced and her head ached so much that it was nauseating.

    “I'm scared, Mew. It hurts,” she cried out, tears streaming down her face as she coughed. “I wish you were here with me right now. I wish you could tell me another bedtime story one last time.”

    “I'm sorry, Mew. I don't think I'll… be able… to go with you tomorrow.” She closed her eyes, breathing with her mouth open, and she eventually drifted away.


    ‘Kuki, I'm home!’ Mew announced upon teleporting into the room. However, she became instantly aware of the gloom that lingered in the air. Her fear only lit up when she saw the trails of blood strewn around the floor.

    Mew panted as she scanned the room, her heart racing when she couldn't find Kuki anywhere in it. She shuddered when a cold breeze hit her, and that was when she discerned that the lighthouse had been left open.

    Mew rushed outside at lightning speed and looked around again, boosting her vision with Foresight to up her chances. A wave of relief hit her when she observed Kuki lying down on the old bench. Without wasting a second, Mew approached her, tears welling up in her eyes.

    Then, her heart sank again. Kuki’s body was cold, much too cold even for cold weather. Her eyes trailing to her face, she noticed traces of blood around the girl's mouth.

    Mew placed her ear on Kuki’s chest. ‘No… her chest isn't drumming? That.. That can't be,’ Mew stuttered, refusing to lift her ear from the girl's chest, desperately waiting to hear the sound of a beating heart… but nothing came.

    ‘No! Kuki, please wake up, please!’ Mew pleaded, bombarding her with Heal Pulse as a last ditch attempt to revive her, but she knew all too well that Pokémon healing moves were about as effective on humans as they were on lifeless rocks. By the time she stopped, Mew’s face was dampening with tears, and she was cursing herself for not doing anything sooner.

    Mew almost wished at that moment that she'd never found Kuki all those years ago, that she never found the abandoned infant and thought it'd be fun to raise a human. She didn't think that she'd grow so attached to the girl, and just like that, fate had taken Kuki away from her.

    ‘Please don't leave me, Kuki! I'm so sorry for not taking you out with me. You probably did this because you're mad at me right? Well, if you open your eyes for me right now, I promise I'll take you out wherever you want every single day till the sun blows out,’ Mew said, her vision blurry from all her crying. However, Kuki never opened her eyes, and her body remained as lifeless as Mew found her that night.

    Mew wracked her brain for answers, for any ways she could bring back her daughter figure, even if it meant selling herself to the literal devil, if such an entity existed. That was when something struck her, but the idea was so unsettling that she wanted to dismiss it right away. However, one more look at Kuki’s face, and all of Mew’s fears and doubts were washed away in the wind.

    Mew twirled the girl's hair, her lips curving in a faint smile. ‘Hang in there, Kuki. I'll bring you back to me.’


    The moon fanned down its gaze upon Mew as she arrived at the peak of a high tower. She grasped tightly onto Kuki’s hand with her paws, the cold breeze of the night drying up her tears.

    Mew looked up, her face brimming with determination over what she was about to do. She inhaled deeply, then called out, ‘Ho-Oh! Come out! Ho-Oh!... I need your help.’

    Feathers of orange light started falling from above her. They rapidly gathered in front of Mew until a large bird Pokémon materialized, landing on the floor with a thud accompanied by a gust of winds.

    ‘Mew… It's been a while, has it not?’ he spoke, his voice as elegant as his demeanor.

    ‘It has… I'm sorry for not visiting you all this time...’ Mew said soberly.

    ‘Don't fret. Time is meaningless to the likes of us,’ he said, raising his wing as he spoke, glitters of light flowing down them with the faintest of movements. ‘You're distressed. Does it have to do with that corpse you're holding?’

    ‘Kuki is not a corpse! She's mine!’ Mew rebuked, seething with anger. ‘I mean, she's important to me. I raised her by myself, and she has no one else but me.’

    ‘I see. Since you brought her here… Are you perhaps asking me to—’

    ‘Yes! Please bring her back to life. I know you can do that, can't you?’

    ‘Yes, I indeed can, but I'm afraid I cannot go through with this.’

    ‘Wh-why not?!’

    Ho-oh drew a sigh. ‘Bringing others back from the realm of the afterlife is no simple task. It always comes at a cost. A life is only worth another life, and in your case, that's problematic.’

    ‘Problematic?’ Mew asked, tilting her head.

    ‘The life to be paid can only be from an individual closest to the deceased in question. When I revived my three servant dogs all those centuries ago, it was the lives of their cherished human companions that were sacrificed. Were I to bring this human back, you'd have to die, since you're her closest connection.’

    Mew froze, her face slowly swiveling to meet Kuki’s as she absorbed what Ho-oh was saying.

    ‘Then do it. I'm fine with passing on, if it's for her.’

    ‘And that's why I can't. You forget that your existence is paramount to this world, and I will not make you cease to be for the sake of a human for that matter, sentimental to you or not.’

    ‘I don't care! Just do this favor for me, I'm begging you Ho-oh! So what if I have to die? I've lived long enough, but her life had only just begun, and now she's…’ Mew’s words halted in her throat as her tears dripped down on Kuki’s face. ‘Isn't there another way for this to work?!’

    Ho-oh gave her a reluctant look, then he said, ‘There is one way to bring her back and the existence of Mew will also persist. I can revive her in your likeness, and she'll be reborn as your successor.’

    ‘You can do that?’

    Ho-oh nodded, but he warned, ‘However, there is no telling what might happen to her when I do this. She'll could find it immensely difficult to adapt to her sudden new state of life. She could abuse her newfound abilities for mischief.’

    ‘Kuki is a good girl, I raised her to be that way. I believe in her… I accept it, just bring her back.’

    Ho-oh then spread his wings, his orange eyes glowing. ‘Very well, you have made your wishes clear. I shall pull this human back from the the other side, and she shall walk the Earth in your place, o ancestor of all.’

    As Ho-oh spoke, radiant orange flames surrounded Mew and Kuki, swirling into the sky so high, she couldn't see the top from where she was.

    Mew raised her paw and realized that her body was fading into pink sparkles, which were then flowing into Kuki’s chest, becoming one with her. Mew thought that she'd be terrified at the thought of vanishing, but she instead felt at ease.

    She leaned her face toward Kuki’s forehead and gave her a farewell kiss.

    I'm sorry for doing something this selfish, but when you wake up, I want you to know that I'll always be with you. So, be a good girl, okay?

    Mew curled herself in front of Kuki’s stomach and waited for the rest of her body to dissipate.


    Mew’s passing sent a ripple throughout the entire planet, and every Pokémon alive at the time felt it deep in their bones. Some only flinched, while others fell into a panicking frenzy.

    However, the Pokémon that felt it the most was perhaps one who lived in a quiet cave in the Kanto region. The Pokémon was meditating when it happened, and upon feeling the sensation in its body, its purple, glowing eyes shot open.

    It raised its head forward and grimaced. Soon, he stood up, ready to visit whoever caused Mew to suddenly disappear.kuk
    Last edited: Aug 25, 2018
  2. DeliriousAbsol

    DeliriousAbsol Call me Del

    This is an interesting story, and rather original. I'm also really surprised there's no reviews on it so far, but that's likely due to holidays and a sudden influx of holiday one-shots. I've been a bit behind on reading, myself.

    A human becoming a pokemon legend is a pretty good premise. I'd love to know what illness Kuki has, if it's based on a real one or not? But leaving that as a bit of a mystery is a good idea, imo. Not everything needs to be explained, and I do like speculating.

    I'd actually forgotten Ho-Oh can revive fallen pokemon. Referencing the Eeveelution to Legendary Dogs fanon is pretty cool, and brutal given that their humans had apparently sacrificed themselves! I know that's your own twist on it for this story, and it really brought in the fact he could bring Kuki back at the expense of Mew, AND make her legendary like he did with vaporeon, flareon and jolteon.

    I noticed a few typos and grammar bits that I've noted to point out, just perchance you want to correct them:

  3. NebulaDreams

    NebulaDreams A Dense Irritating Miniature Beast of Burden

    Yeah, I thought this was an interesting story as well. Although there were a few things I felt could've been elaborated on more (the exact nature of Mew discovering Kuki is still vague), you have a lot of ideas and moments that come together quite well. I liked the cashier's slight annoyance at being cocooned, and the friendship between the two is endearing, with the cute little scene of them playing with the kite and Mew changing into various forms to cheer up Kuki. The eventual sacrifice at the end packs an emotional punch.

    However there's one small part that doesn't exactly ruin the story, but really ruins the mood of the scene it's in. 'Sadly, Kuki never opened her eyes, and her body remained as lifeless as Mew found her that night.' It's a shame since the scene up until that point was emotional, but the use of the word 'sadly' is really out of place here. It's as if you're telling the reader to be sad.
  4. DreamSayer

    DreamSayer Name's Adam.


    I originally had an entire scene explaining the nature of Kuki's illness in my earliest draft, but I removed it because it felt too exposition heavy and sort of pointless. But you're right, it also works well if left as a mystery.

    Yeah, that fanon theory sure played heavily when I was charting out this story. And for why Mew had to be sacrificed for it to work, I was influenced by the law of equivalent exchange in fma. So, yeah, this story has a lot of influences from different mediums.


    Yeah, I was saving that for a flashback in the third chapter. And sure, there were a lot of other things that could've been elaborated upon, which is why I decided to take a slower pace to flesh things out properly starting with Chapter 2.

    Noted. I'll remove that adverb from there.
  5. DreamSayer

    DreamSayer Name's Adam.

    Chapter 2: A New Meaning

    Kuki’s eyes darted open. She stared idly at the wall beside her, breathing soundlessly through her mouth. She moved around in the soft confines on her blanket as the rest of her systems went online.

    Kuki recognized the wall in front of her; it was the wall of her room in the lighthouse, but as she lifted her head, she soon felt like something was different.

    “Mew?” she called out groggily, turning over on her bed, but there was no answer. All she on her other side was the bathroom door and the hunchback television sitting on a counter next to it. She noticed that something was off about them too, like they've grown twice bigger or something.

    Mew hasn't come home yet?

    Kuki raised her arm to rub her eye, but she went stiff while doing so. Looking down, her eyes widened when she found a blue paw instead of her normal human appendage. A quick inspection of her body revealed to her that she had changed beyond recognition.

    Where she remembered having legs were two long, almost rabbit-like hind paws, and when she turned her head around her rear, she saw a new appendage in the form of a tail sticking out of her. She couldn't help but whimper when the tail twisted and turned to her whims.

    Kuki let out a high pitched shriek, her eyes darting around as she struggled to find solace. She quickly crawled out of the bed, only to fall face flat on the carpet below. Kuki sprang up, wheezing as she shut her eyes and held her head.


    Upon opening her eyes, she was perplexed to find herself in a human form again, wearing the same pink dress she was wearing before the last time she slept.

    Kuki stretched her arms forward, a smile quickly forming on her face. “I'm still me!! I guess I really was just—” One look to her left showed her just how wrong she was.

    Sitting on the ground next to her was the same blue tail from before, and she could still feel it attached to her body with every slight motion oh her back. Her mouth fell agape, and her body started shaking uncontrollably. She held her head but instantly let go when she felt two unfamiliar outgrowths on it.

    Springing up to her feet, Kuki took a long hard look at her reflection in a mirror. She looked the same on the surface, yet a lot was remarkably different. The most glaring change was that her hair had turned from a brunette to a pale blue, and her eyes had donned slit-like pupils that were contracting and expanding as she leaned closer. She touched the top of her head, feeling the peculiar cat-like ears on her head, which resembled Mew’s. They were real. They were a part of her.

    “W-w-w-what is happening to me?!” Kuki yelled at her reflection. She backed away from the mirror, taking slow steps backwards until she backed herself against the wall. She covered her mouth with her hands and slid down, tears welling up in her eyes.

    I have become… I have become some kind of monster!! Did this happen because I was turning blue?

    Kuki’s eyes glinted. She finally noticed the absence of the chest pain she'd grown accustomed to in the past several months, and she hadn't coughed once since she woke up. It was a small observation, one that didn't distract her much from her then current plight.

    Kuki eyed the hunchback television. While still whimpering, she rushed to it on all fours, shakily starting it up and shoving a VHS tape into the cassette player. She stared at the screen as a cartoon movie called ‘The Lotus Prince and the Wishing Tower’ started playing.

    Kuki crawled a few inches back and watched the movie attentively. It was her favorite, and the only one she's actually ever watched. Mew always played it for her when she was upset, and it helped ease her down every time.

    The plot of the movie was straightforward. A young lost prince seeks a bell tower which granted wishes to anyone who reached the top. At the end of the movie, the prince was fighting the evil incredulous swordsman on top of the tower. Both characters struggled as swords clashed, each trying to outdo the other in reaching the bell. Against all odds, the prince triumphed. The prince reached the bell upon his victory, where a fairy awaited him, then he wished for his kingdom to be rid of a calamitous famine that engulfed it. He later returned home as a hero, and everyone lived happily ever after.

    The ending had always been Kuki’s favorite part; it usually filled her with hope. However, the movie only had the opposite effect, and she found herself feeling even more depressed.

    Kuki turned off the television as the credits rolled, sniffling as she wiped the remains of the tears on her face. She buried her head in her arms and continued to cry.

    Kuki raised her hand momentarily, and glanced at her tail. The way it kept on moving around by itself was starting to get on her nerves, though she noticed something strange about the new appendage.

    Is it just me, but does my… tail look just like Mew’s? Maybe she knows what really happened to me. I'll ask her when she comes back.

    “Huh?” Kuki was taken aback when tears started streaming down her face all of a sudden at the mere thought of Mew. She tried to wipe them off, but the tears just kept cascading down her cheeks. A tinge of pain bothered her deep down in her heart. She clenched her chest hard, wondering why she was feeling that way.

    Kuki padded backwards, stopping as her back met the side of her bed. She gazed up at the wall, sniffling and wiping her face every few seconds.

    “Mew… Please hurry and come home. I don't know what to do…”

    Out of options, Kuki decided to take a step outside to hopefully cool her head off. She wasn't exactly able to think straight with her vision blurred and face heating up from all the crying.

    A flock of wingulls scampered away at the sight of her when she opened the door, some of them cautiously eying her unusual form. She paid no heed to them; too under the weather to care about a flock of birds. She could've sworn she heard them gossiping about her, but she brushed it off as her imagination.

    As she walked down the stairs outside the lighthouse, the salty smell of the surrounding oceans filled up her nostrils. She raised her face and inhaled deeply, though she found it odd that she never sensed the salty odor that strongly before. She wondered if her new body altered her smelling ability. Great. One more thing to be anxious about.

    Her's gaze fell on the bench she remembered sleeping on last time. She rubbed her palm against the surface, feeling the friction of the woodwork against her.

    Another thought came across her, one she hadn't realized before.

    How did I get back in the lighthouse last night? Did she come back and carry me back to my room, or did I walk back there in my sleep?

    She rested her head on her palms as she settled on the bench. So many questions swirled in the abyss that was her mind, and yet she could not get any of those answers until Mew returned… whenever she does.

    What will Mew think of me if she sees me like this? That I've become a mixed imitation of her form?

    Kuki felt so lost. There was nothing she could ever fear more than being rejected by her foster mother. The thought of it happening sent a cold shiver down her spine. She then took a trip down memory lane, recalling something Mew had told her back when her illness was still in its early stages.

    It doesn't matter if you change color, grow a second head, or turn into a yellow Rattata. No matter what you look like, Kuki will always be Kuki to me, so, don't worry about a thing.

    For the first time since she woke up, a smile found its way across her face. Of course, Mew would always love her no matter what. Kuki exhaled a relieved breath, feeling a bit better. Mew would help her figure things out.


    Some hours after she was finished crying, Kuki sat down to eat some of the snacks leftover from the previous day. As she gorged down on some cream crackers, she kept staring at an orange juice box, pondering something over in her mind.

    Since I'm kind of like her now, does that mean that I can carry stuff with my mind too?

    Kuki swallowed down her mouthful of crackers and set off to experiment. She reached her arm out at the juice box and furrowed her brows.

    Come to me juice box!! Obey me!! Come, I tell you!!! Come!!!

    She tensed her face so much that she looked like she was about to pop. She lowered her arm, heaving a long sigh.

    Aww, it isn't working. And here I thought I could lift a juice box with my mi—

    Kuki shrieked when something slapped against her face. The object fell down her laps, and when she looked, she saw the juice box just lying there, its edges bent from the impact.

    I did it! I CAN lift a juice box with my mind!...

    Kuki raised the juice box in her palms. But how did I do it? She caressed her cheek where it met her face. I'll probably figure it out later. She brushed it off and popped the juice with a straw before drinking its contents.

    Kuki later placed a rubber ball a short distance from her and sat across it. She focused her eyes on it and exhaled.

    Alright, I've got this. I can do it, I can lift the ball, with my mind!

    Kuki spent a few minutes staring hard at the ball, contracting her fingers as she concentrated every thought on making the ball move… but nothing happened.

    Kuki dropped her arms and groaned, eying the rubber ball that seemed to mock her failed attempts. “Why isn't this working?! It worked with the juice box. Maybe the ball is dark type.” She shook her head, dismissing the thought. “No, I have to do this, so I can impress her when she gets back!”

    She huffed and raised her arms forward once more. Her eyes burned with more determination. She closed her eyes and pushed all other thoughts and distractions away. She perhaps did it too well, as she realized her mind felt much too calm at that moment.

    I can feel it! Something is definitely rising! Something is—

    Kuki let out a pained cry when her head bonked against a surface. She pried her eyes open to find herself looking at the ceiling face to face. She made the mistake of looking down afterwards, seeing the ground way below her… then she dropped.

    Kuki lifted her head groaning after falling, rubbing the tip of her nose which scraped the ground during her descent. Her fall ached a lot less than she expected. Maybe she was sturdier in her new form? Hard to say.

    “Ow… I don't get it… How did I make myself float and not the stupid ball?” Kuki sat up, grunting as she frowned. “None of this makes any flipping sense!” She sighed, glancing at the ball again. “At least I know I can fly now.”

    Still, Kuki reasoned that whatever it was she'd turned into, it made her feel so amazing. She looked at the ceiling, then around her room. Her new eyes could pick up even the most subtle of color hues around her, seeing all new colors dancing in her vision. The longer she looked at a certain spot, the more her eyes seemed to zoom in and discern the smallest of details on it. It gave a new meaning to seeing the world in a new light.

    Kuki raised the ball in her fingers, glaring at it as she puffed her cheeks. “I won't lose to you, Mr Ball. I'll make you float whether you want to or not, just wait!”

    An idea surfaced in the crevices of her mind. If she threw the ball up, could she stop it from falling? It seemed like a good idea, since trying to move the ball while it's inert hadn't yielded any desired results.

    While standing in one spot, Kuki hurled the ball upwards, waiting for the moment gravity began pulling it down. In that moment, Kuki threw her arms up, closing her eyes as she uttered, “Stop!”

    It fell.

    “Again!” Kuki said, tossing the ball a second time, concentrating even more on it.

    Again, it fell.

    “One more time!”

    The rubber ball still disobeyed. It landed on her head, bounced off and rolled to her bedside. Kuki groaned, reaching her arm out to it weakly. She closed her eyes and let out a defeated sigh.

    Why won't this work alread—

    She pried her eyes open when she felt something meet her palm forcefully. Much to her amazement, she'd retrieved the ball with her psychic abilities unknowingly, just like with the juice box earlier.

    “But how?! I don't get this!” Kuki impulsively threw the ball at the wall and sat. “Stupid ball!” she seethed.

    Kuki sat alone, basking in the silence of her room as she pondered what exactly she wasn't doing right. Mew made it look so easy…

    Kuki’s eyes lit up when she recalled another conversation she once had with Mew about how she used her telekinesis.

    It was when she had been younger. Mew had taken her out of the lighthouse for the very first time to some berry fields out somewhere. Kuki didn't question Mew on who owned the fields; she just stuck close by the berry basket as she was told.

    At the time, Kuki observed as Mew plucked loads of berries off their stalks without even touching them, homing them into the basket as she collected them.

    “Mami,” Kuki called, it was how she used to refer to Mew in the past. “How do you do that?”

    ‘Hmm?’ Mew swirled around tilting her head, some berries floating around her as they halted their movements. ‘How do I do what, Kuki?’

    “You make stuff move with your head. I want to do that too!”

    ‘Oh, you mean this?’ Mew asked, hovering to her with a berry in tow. ‘I could try teaching you.’ Mew’s eyes moved to the side. ‘But I don't know if you can, since you're human.’ When Mew saw Kuki’s eyes lowering, she piped up. ‘But I'm sure you can do it! Come, i'll teach you.’

    Kuki beamed up, throwing her arms in the air. “Yay! Mami, teach me, teach me!”

    Mew quickly covered the girl's mouth, cautiously looking around as she said, ‘Keep your voice down, or the humans will come!’ she whispered.

    Kuki nodded her head. “Sorry, Mami.”

    Mew told her to get up, making her take a crouching pose with her arms stretched forward. While adjusting her head to face one of the berries. ‘Now, I want you to focus your mind on the berry, and try to be calm. Don't try to force it to move, but think of yourself as one with it.’

    “Okay,” Kuki said, nodding while focusing her eyes on the oran berry. “I am one with the berry, I am one with the berry.” Kuki’s eyes gleamed when the berry steadily lifted from the ground, tiny sand grains breaking off the skin as it went higher. “I did it, Mami, I did it!”

    ‘Yay! I knew you had it in you!’ Mew said, flipping in the air playfully.

    Back in the present, Kuki’s mind remained on those memories. She recalled how Mew confessed that she was actually the one who lifted the berry for her. Kuki also remembered being upset about it, but Mew cheered her up with The Lotus Prince movie as always.

    Kuki raised her face at the ball, which sat mockingly in front of the bathroom door.

    Become one with the berry… become one with the ball.

    Kuki gulped down as she steadily raised her arms forward. She huffed and focused her eyes on the ball, ignoring everything else surrounding her. “I'm one with the ball, and the ball is one with me.”

    Kuki’s eyes lit up when the ball fidgeted in place. She pressed on further, repeating her chant to herself. She bit her lip anxiously as a blue outline flickered on and off around the ball.

    Finally, she raised her arm, and the ball lifted accordingly. A wide smile spread across her face, and she didn't even feel the faint glow surrounding her irises. Kuki imagined the ball coming closer, and it obeyed, floating gently till it was just a few five inches away.

    Kuki pulled her other arm back and started waving her palm sideways. Surely enough, the ball started rotating sideways to her motions while still remaining on air. At that moment, Kuki felt a river of joy pour down on her.

    I'm doing it.. I'm actually doing it!!! Okay, stay calm. Let me see if I can do it without my hands now.

    The moment she dropped her arms, the ball fell to the ground, and she lost control over it. Kuki furrowed her eyes and groaned. “I guess I'm not quite there yet…”

    Kuki levitated the ball again with her arms, guiding it around the room for some minutes. The giddiness she'd been feeling still hadn't left her, because to her, she was already making enough progress to call the day a success. However, the young girl was still striving for more.

    What else can I lift? Can I lift the carpet, or my bed or even… water?!

    A second after that thought, Kuki rushed the bathroom and filled a cup with water. She Left the door hanging open as she trotted to the middle of the room, the water sloshing about as she placed it on the ground.

    Kuki took a few steps back and stretched her arms out. Her aim was to try and raise the water within without moving the cup. An ambitious goal so early perhaps, but her caretaker had taught her to always challenge her own capabilities.

    The water rippled and the cup shook as she concentrated her mind on it. Her ears exhumed heat as she focused every muscle in her arms to making the water move, all the while telling herself the water was one with her mind and body.

    After what seemed like an eternity, water slowly overflowed from the cup to form a blocky, cylindrical transparent pillar, dancing wobbly as Kuki strained to maintain the water’s form. Taking a deep breath, she raised her arms higher and the water slowly followed, leaving the cup completely.

    Then stood the girl, spectrally controlling a bubble of water over the ground. Wonder filled her eyes as light sparkled through the water. By tweaking her fingers, she was able to slightly mold the shape of the water to resemble a fish, then an apple and then a shoe.

    Her arms began hurting from being raised too long, so she carefully lowered the water bubble back into the cup and dropped down on her back with a sigh. She stared up at the ceiling, thinking of all the things she could do. Could she transform into other Pokémon? Could she turn invisible? She'd already flown once, so she knows she at least has that ability.

    Kuki yawned as she closed her eyes. She'd tired herself out, she can try out other new tricks later.

    Her eyes then shot open, and her heart started pounding in her chest. A sudden chill of heaviness invaded the room, and could hear something ringing in her ears. Kuki sat up quickly and stared up at the staircase.

    Someone… was waiting outside.
    Last edited: Jan 27, 2018
  6. Chibi Pika

    Chibi Pika Stay positive

    Wow. At the risk of echoing what I said in the Odyssey to Dawn thread, this is a massive improvement. You really took your time with Kuki's death and Mew's grief, and the emotions came through strong. I also felt like the resurrection scene with Ho-oh made a lot more sense. A life for a life a la Equivalent Exchange is a pretty sensible way to go about things, and the fact that she had to take the form of a Mew to keep the world in balance makes a lot more sense than the "turn into the last Pokemon they saw" thing from the previous version.

    I also like the series of emotions she went through upon waking up, from shock and horror, to sadness, to curiosity, and the way she gradually figured out her powers and tried to experiment with them was cute. "Maybe the ball is dark type" frickin killed me. xD I can only imagine how she's going to react when she finds out Mew is gone, though... That's a huge difference from the old version, and it's going to completely change the course of the story. Also, Mewtwo is in this one? :O Color me intrigued.

    Until next time~

  7. DreamSayer

    DreamSayer Name's Adam.

    Chapter 3: Heavy Rain

    Kuki's eyes trembled at the door. She could feel it, like candle wax dripping onto bare skin. Someone… or something, was waiting for her outside. She knew not what it was, what it could be, or what it wanted, but that it was there.

    Kuki whimpered, crawling herself backwards till her rear hit the mirror drawer. She breathed heavily; her brain, like a lost ball in the weeds, tried its damnest to figure out what awaited her outside. One thing Kuki knew; it wasn't Mew. Had it been her, she'd have known somehow.

    Kuki ran her palm down from drawer handle to handle, until it felt up against the cold surface of metal. Her eyes followed her palm, and she found her hand leaning on a metal bat's handle.

    Kuki's eyes lit up. I forgot all about this thing! Mew said I should only use it at a time when it is absolutely necessary… now is necessary, right?

    A faint wave of relief showered Kuki. She clasped her hands around the bat's handle, grunting as she dragged it from beneath the bed frame. Kuki exerted more force while pulling than she'd hoped, and she ended up falling backwards, and throwing the bat at the wall behind her.

    Kuki squealed a bit as she fell. She promptly rolled over to get up, but froze when she saw the hole the bat had dug into the room's wall.

    "Did I just do that?" she murmured to herself while on her knees. Kuki raised her palms before her face, and she could see her fingers trembling. She pursed her lips, and balled her fists. "When did I become so strong?! I'll worry about this later. Right now, I need to focus..."

    She pulled the bat from the wall and held it up for a few seconds, judging its weight in her hands. It boggled her mind; the bat was near weightless. She could still remember how much she struggled to carry it the first time Mew showed it to her.

    "Oh boy, I have so many things I need to ask you, Mew," she muttered to herself as she tiptoed towards the door.

    The door creaked as Kuki opened it. She poked her head through first, and when she looked, nothing seemed out of the ordinary, other than the gradual rattling of the lighthouse door ahead. Kuki wondered whether something was trying to get in. She did remember sliding the lock on the door the last time she came back.

    Kuki pushed the rest of the door open, standing still as it banged lightly against the wall. Taking a deep breath, she rested her hand on the stair rails as she climbed up, taking one step at a time.

    Kuki's heart drummed in her chest with each step she climbed. She tightened her grip around her bat as the rattling of the lighthouse's door intensified. She was getting ever closer to the door, and only had six more steps till she reached the top.

    It's okay, Kuki. There's nothing to be scared of. If someone tries to come in, just give them a good whack on the head and you'll be fine.

    Kuki exhaled deeply as her feet met the cold surface of the final step. She turned forward at the door. It towered over Kuki, and made her feel like it was about to engulf her. She gulped, her hand trembling as she gradually slid the lock, opening the door with a clang.

    The door creaked loudly as it trudged against the ground. A strong breeze washed over Kuki as she opened the door, taking her by surprise. The breeze was neither cold like the blizzards of winter, nor did it bear the scorching heat of summer. Rather, it felt mildly soothing, and Kuki welcomed it for the brief moment it lasted.

    Kuki closed her eyes as she exhaled, and when she opened them, she was startled to see a blue Pokémon looking right back at her, his ribbons dancing in a perpetual rhythm beside him, as though they had minds of their own.

    Kuki narrowed her eyes at the creature, eying him with caution. She vaguely recognized him, but she couldn't quite remember when or where, and if she really did.

    "Wh-who are you?" Kuki stammered, withdrawing halfway behind the door next to her.

    The Pokémon lifted its gaze at her, its hexagonal-jointed horns reflecting the sun's rays, like a clear stream.

    "What do you want?" Kuki asked with a slight whimper, withdrawing herself back back even further.

    The Pokémon began climbing the stairs toward her, then he spoke, 'Calm down, girl. I bring you no harm.'

    Kuki blinked, withdrawing from behind the door a little. "You aren't?"

    'No, I am not. Now, I need you to listen and do as I say. Take whatever is important to you in this place, and come with me.'

    Kuki drew her brows together as she eyed him. "You're taking me away? But why?"

    The Pokémon leapt, landing in front of Kuki. Up close, she realized just how large he really was. She never considered herself short before, but the way the Pokémon could look her right in the face even though she was standing upright made her reconsider that opinion.

    'If you remain here, you'll only invite danger upon yourself. There are those who'll come after you,' he said, his voice stoic and stern. 'We need to go… now. Time is of the essence.'

    Kuki took a few steps back, whimpering as she held onto her metal bat. "I don't understand what you mean... I'm not going anywhere!" She bit her lip. "Who are you anyway?!"

    The Pokémon frowned, but his expression calmed almost immediately. 'I am Suicune. I've been assigned by my master to look after you until you no longer require it.'

    "Suicune?" Kuki gasped, "I've heard about you. Mew said you were the heralder of the northern winds… whatever that meant," she said, mumbling the last part of the sentence.

    Suicune nodded as he turned his face to her. 'So, it seems she's told you about me, that said, you should know you can trust—'

    "Did Mew send you?! Do you know where she is?!" Kuki's eyes lit up, and she almost threw herself at Suicune.

    Suicune cocked his head to the side, saying, 'Regarding Mew's whereabouts, I couldn't say—'

    "Please, tell me where she is!" Kuki pleaded, leaning forward on her toes.

    Suicune drew his head back, carefully deciding his next course of action. One look at the girl's shaking eyes, and he could tell her mind was in a fragile state, which made him all the more reluctant to tell her the truth. Perhaps it was better to tell her, so she could go through her grief sooner than later… Suicune shook his head. No, that's not what he came for.

    'I promise I'll tell you, but not yet. Right now, I need you to listen and do as I say,' Suicune coerced.

    Kuki frowned, folding her arms as she turned her face away from him, "I'm not going anywhere unless you tell me where Mew is! I am her daughter; I have every right to know!"

    Suicune narrowed his eyes at her, his expression growing dark. 'Do you really want to know that badly? The answers you're looking for could rattle you for life. Are you truly willing to go through with it?'

    Kuki's heart thumped, a sense of dread encroaching her. She gulped as she asked, "Is Mew missing? Does it have something to do with," she raised her hands before her, "why I'm like this now?"

    Suicune threw her an inscrutable look 'Like I said, the answer could rattle you. Were you to come with me, I'll tell you the whole truth, and everything else that you wish to know.'

    Kuki stomped her foot on the floor, cracking the concrete tile beneath her. "No! Tell me everything now!"

    Suicune's mouth hung open for a second, then he shook his head. If she wanted to know so badly, then so be it. He figured if she passed out from hearing it, it'd make carrying her easier.

    'Answer me this first, little girl. What is the last thing you remember before you woke up… in your current state?' Suicune asked, pointing his slender paw at her.

    "The last thing I remember? Well…" Kuki's eyes trailed down as she recollected past events. "It wasn't long after Mew left… I was lying down, and then my chest started feeling like it was burning, and then I started coughing… coughing blood. I thought I just needed some fresh air, so, I went out and… I lay on one of those benches outside. I felt tired, and I was really cold. I think I must've slept off, but I'm not sure. It's all that I can remember, until this happened..."

    Kuki then shot Suicune a glare, her eyes glistening. "But what does that have to do with anything?! I fell asleep, so what?!"

    'Are you sure that's all that happened? That you really just fell asleep and that was it? No, there's much more to it than that.'

    Kuki felt a lump forming in her throat. "What are you trying to say?"

    'That evening, you didn't simply fall asleep sleep like you think you did. No, your life came to an end. You passed away.'

    Kuki's pupils shrank into slits, and her mouth trembled as she struggled to find her next words. "No… that's not true! How do you explain me standing in front of you then?! Alive and well!" Kuki yelled, slapping her palms over her chest. Her bat slipped from her fingers to the ground, but she paid no heed to it in her distraught state.

    'I'm sure you've already noticed, that you share an unmistakable resemblance to Mew as you are now. Did you stop to wonder why?'

    Kuki's eyes trailed down as she held her cheeks. "I don't know… I… I—"

    'When Mew found out that you passed away, she for some reason couldn't handle it. She brought you to my master, and she made an absurd pact.'

    Kuki's heart thumped as her eyes met his again. "A pact? You mean… like a deal?"

    'Yes. She made a choice, to have your life returned to you, but at the price of her own.'

    "Wait, does that mean—"

    'Mew traded places with you. You live, while she doesn't. I don't know what made her so attached to you to risk everything she had, a human, but here we are.'

    Kuki wanted to retort, but her words stuck in her throat. Her chest was heavy as she heaved heavy breaths. She shot Suicune a glare, tears welling in her eyes till her vision blurred.

    "You're lying! You're lying!" Kuki yelled, walking away from Suicune as she did.

    'I know this is a lot for you to take in, but you have to accept that that is your reality now,' Suicune said sternly, approaching her with caution.

    "Mew would never do that! It's not true! You're lying!" Kuki said, raising her voice even louder as she threw her fists beside her.

    'I understand the pain you're feeling, but you need to calm down and think this over, child—'

    "My name is Kuki!" she snapped.

    'Alright, Kuki. I promise everything will make sense to you soon, but for now, we have to go,' Suicune said, reaching for her hand.

    She snarled, pulling her arm away. "Stay away from me—" Kuki nearly tripped over her metal bat as she made her way back to her room. She stumbled on the rails, but she picked herself back up and raced downstairs.

    By the time Suicune decided to follow Kuki, she'd slammed and locked the door behind her. Kuki could hear him saying something from the other side of the door, but her mind was too cloudy for her to make out his words.

    Kuki's dug her fingers into her hair, sliding down against the furthermost wall in her room till she sat. Tears cascaded down her cheeks, and her eyes were widened to the brim.

    No, it's can't be true! It's not true! He's just trying to trick me! She repeated to herself mentally as she bit down on her lower lip to the point it started bleeding a little. Mew would never leave me! Mew would never… Please Mew, please come home…

    'Kuki! I know you can hear me! It's dangerous for you to stay here. We need to go before it's too late!' Suicune frowned as she stood in front of the door, but he did not get a response from her.

    Unwilling to waste any more time than he already had, Suicune drew back a few steps and knocked the door down with his horns.

    Suicune shook off the chunks of wood that got into his mane, then he quickly scanned the room for Kuki. He gasped as he spotted her.

    Kuki sat frozen in a corner as a white light rapidly engulfed her. She looked at him with whitened eyes, but before Suicune could react, she poofed into a mass of sparkles, teleporting.

    'No! How could I have allowed this?!' Suicune gritted his teeth, the weight of his misjudgement sinking in. 'This is bad. She could be anywhere now, and there's no telling where she might've warped herself into… I don't have any time to waste here—'

    Suicune's eyes glinted; he felt another presence nearby, one which seemed to harbor an air of animosity. Suicune rushed out of the lighthouse, screeching to a halt as he came out, then he shot a glare at a Pokémon. Much to his dismay, it was the very same Pokémon he'd been trying to keep Kuki away from to begin with.

    The Pokémon sat on a stone pillar beside the lighthouse, his legs crossed as his purple tail slithered slowly beside him. He rested his head on his palm, eying Suicune with eyes that made him look like he hadn't slept in ages.

    'Mewtwo…' Suicune growled, crouching in a battle-ready position. 'So, you've come after all.'

    'Spare yourself the trouble, Ho-oh's stooge. I did not come here to fight with you, not at the moment anyway,' Mewtwo said with a dismissive wave, the air growing heavy as he flared his purple irises at Suicune. 'After all, I understand the situation now.'

    'Good, then you'd know to leave the child alone. She is Mew's rightful successor, that much should at least be clear to you.' Suicune barked.

    Mewtwo cocked his head, raising his brows. 'She, a human, who had the audacity to steal Mew's existence, is her successor? Are you even listening to yourself talk?' Mewtwo said as he stood upright. 'Mew will forever be dead, and that girl is ultimately to blame no matter how one looks at it, and I cannot allow that. I would highly advise you not to get in my way,' Mewtwo said, clenching his fist with enough force to shake the air around him.

    Suicune narrowed his eyes at Mewtwo. 'I was tasked to protect her from the likes of you especially, and that is a duty I have every intent of upholding.'

    Mewtwo raised his arms in a shrug. 'So, you were to protect her from harm, yet you drove her away with a painful truth, and lead her into teleporting herself to who knows where?' Mewtwo grinned. 'For a protector, you are unremarkably incompetent.'

    Suicune ignored Mewtwo's taunt, and asked, 'What are you planning?'

    'It's quite simple, really. I want to see who this human is for myself, and why Mew would do something so illogical as to relinquish her existence for her. I will judge for myself if she's worthy of such a legacy.'

    'And if, by your standards, she's found unworthy?'

    Mewtwo flashed Suicune a faint smirk, baring his fangs as he replied, 'Do I really have to spell it out for you?'

    As Mewtwo finished speaking, a drop of water fell onto his shoulder, followed by a light drizzle. He narrowed his eyes at Suicune, having determined he was responsible, and with a cold voice, asked, 'Are you sure you want to do this?'

    Suicune lowered his gaze, refusing to take his eyes off his soon to be opponent. A ring of water rippled and sloshed around the immediate perimeter Suicune stood.

    'I am determined to stop you from endangering the life of the girl, no matter what it takes,' Suicune replied finally.

    Mewtwo sighed as he stepped off the pillar, descending on one foot. 'If you so wish to stand in my way that much, then you shouldn't expect me to hold back when crushing you to the ground.' Mewtwo hissed as a purple whizz of psychic energy surrounded his hand. 'Don't worry, I'm sure Ho-Oh will understand my intentions.'

    Suicune glared at Mewtwo, his heart pacing, and the rhythm of his ribbons changed ever so slightly.

    As Mewtwo was about to take a step forward, he halted, leaping aside as a jet of water burst from the ground toward him. Had he wasted even a second, he'd have met a painful blow to the face.

    Between his evasion and his landing, the water jet had changed its trajectory twice until it was shooting back at Mewtwo once more. Shocked, Mewtwo raised his arms before him to block, barely raising his psychic bubble in the nick of time.

    The force from the attack shot Mewtwo barreling through the pillar, and he crashed into a cobblestone wall nearby with a thud.

    Mewtwo huffed as he dissipated his barrier. He can change the direction of the water? How interesting. How very interesting.

    Mewtwo caught a glimpse of two more water jets zooming in on him from his sides. He grunted as he flew into the air to avoid them, but as he'd come to expect, the jets took a perpendicular turn up at him as though they bore a homing mechanism.

    How is he controlling them like this? This level of aquakinesis should at least come with some drawbacks, Mewtwo analysed, manifesting shadow balls in his palms, and he threw them both at the water jets. An explosion of ghastly gas and vapor then erupted as the two attacks collided.

    Mewtwo glared once more at Suicune, and it occurred to him that his opponent hadn't moved an inch out of his water circle.

    'You must be proud of your little trick, heralder of winds, but let's see how long it can protect you,' Mewtwo said, covering himself in a purple barrier.

    Mewtwo bolted himself at Suicune, shooting onward like a massive bullet. Suicune eyes then glinted. He shot four water jets at Mewtwo, but they did little to decelerate him.

    Mewtwo grinned, assuming he had the upper hand, but he hung his mouth open when a much thinner water jet pierced right through his barrier,chipping away at his shoulder.

    Mewtwo gnashed his teeth from the searing pain, and as he lost his focus, he came cascading to the ground. Suicune took that opportunity to shoot up a great pillar of water from right underneath where Mewtwo was going to land.

    Much to Suicune's dismay, Mewtwo was quick to recover, and he neutralized the attack with a psybeam. However, that was still not enough to keep Mewtwo from crashing to the muddied ground.

    Suicune looked down at Mewtwo from where he stood, raindrops trickling down his muzzle as he said, 'It's enough, Mewtwo. I have the high ground.'

    Mewtwo held onto his shoulder as he sat up. He kept his face lowered and his expression hidden. 'You have the high ground? Hah… I'm disappointed. Did Ho-oh teach you to be this arrogant?' Mewtwo asked, expelling a psychic shockwave around him.

    Suicune huffed a breath as exhaustion began to drain his stamina. This is bad. I need to find a way to pin him down indefinitely. I just need to find an opening to hit a vital point… Suicune clenched his teeth as he threw more water jets at his opponent.

    'This is getting really old, Suicune!' Mewtwo was quick to feet, zigzagging his way around the homing water jets. Once he'd created enough distance from them, he nullified Suicune's attacks once again with a psionic wave. As the steam from the collision surrounded him, Mewtwo immediately observed something he hadn't noticed before.

    Fresh water? But we're surrounded by the oceans… Unless… Mewtwo strained his eyes at the ground. With foresight, he could see traces of pipelines and rushing water, all connected to a machine of some kind underground. He cocked his head So, that's how it is… Would be a shame if I made a few adjustments, wouldn't it?

    Mewtwo didn't have much time to ponder over his observations as he caught the whirr of more attacks charging at him. Using the veil of the steam cloud around him as cover, he sped to the ground, and the water jets flew right over him.

    Mewtwo kept his expression as he landed. He exchanged glares with Suicune, both waiting for the other to make their next move.

    'Before we continue, tell me something. Why do you care so much about this human girl?' Mewtwo asked, a smirk tugging at his lips.

    Suicune narrowed his eyes, saying, 'I already told you, I've been tasked to be her guardian until she no longer requires it.'

    'So, whenever you decide she can take care of herself, you'll just abandon her?'

    'I'll leave when she wants me to leave, and for the record, that is of no concern to you.'

    'What about your master? Why couldn't he protect her himself? He obviously knew I'd come after her, wouldn't it have made more sense to keep her by his side as a precaution? Unless of course, he can't actually do it, can he? Surely, resurrecting that girl took a great toll on him. How pathetic.'

    Suicune bared his fangs at Mewtwo, barking, 'I will not let you throw insults at my master!'

    With a whip from his ribbons, Suicune summoned several jets of water more pressurized than previous ones. They flew in a curved trajectory in the air towards Mewtwo, like a wave of arrows from the sky.

    Mewtwo threw his barrier up as he stood in place. Just when it seemed like the battle was about to be decided, the water jets fell short of hitting Mewtwo, and they all fell to the ground as Suicune lost command over them.

    Suicune's eyes widened as he failed to discern what just occurred, and why.

    'How interesting. Are you really that helpless without your gimmick?' said Mewtwo, slowly hovering overhead, his arms crossed behind his back.

    Suicune flinched, glaring at Mewtwo as he asked, 'But how?!'

    'It was all a diversion. Honestly, I'm surprised you even fell for it. No matter, it was enough to buy me time.'

    'Time? To do what?'

    Mewtwo did not respond. He just stared.

    Suicune whipped his ribbons as he prepared to send more attacks at Mewtwo, but he quickly realized that something was wrong.

    Suicune lowered his head, his expression devastated, then he raised his face back at Mewtwo. 'What did you do?'

    'Just as I learned to figure out the chinks behind your tricks, I'll let you mull over how I learned to counteract it.'

    Suicune growled. 'It doesn't matter. I still have other ways to fight!' Suicune lunged forward at Mewtwo, his icy fangs prepared to sink into his target.

    Mewtwo materialized a large spoon shaped construct, deterring Suicune's assault with it. Mewtwo glared at Suicune as frost slowly spread across his weapon.

    Mewtwo then sent a sharp kick up Suicune's side, and before Suicune could brush off the hit, Mewtwo shot him back to the ground with a powerful psionic wave.

    Suicune grunted in pain as he lay in the impact crater. He tried to stand, but he froze when he noticed a bright purple light coming from above. Suicune looked in horror as Mewtwo concentrated a lot of psychic energy over his palms, so much so that gravity was beginning to intensify on the ground. Suicune could not even run away, for every step he took felt like he had anvils tied to his feet.

    'A shame that you've already reached your limit. You'd have fared much better if you hadn't relied on that trick. You've made so many mistakes today alone, that's so unlike you. Send my regards to your master when you reach the other side,' Mewtwo said, lowering his hand, fully prepared to strike.

    'Are you truly planning to destroy the entire island, Mewtwo?!' Suicune barked, goosebumps sprouting across his neck.

    'Yes, along with you.'

    'And all the memories Mew had made in it? As much as you hate the girl, you at least respect Mew enough to preserve her memory, or am I wrong about that too?' Suicune asked.

    Mewtwo paused for a moment, narrowing his eyes at Suicune as those words sank in. A minute passed, and neither of them made another move, yet, it felt like an eternity for Suicune.

    'Perhaps,' Mewtwo uttered.

    Mewtwo finally clenched his fist, and then his attack fizzled into nothingness. Suicune watched intently as Mewtwo eyed him. Then, without uttering a word, Mewtwo vanished elsewhere, and all traces of his presence were gone.

    Suicune sighed in relief, toppling over to his side. The strain from the battle, and his water manipulation were eating away at him. Still, he knew things were far from over. He still needed to find Kuki, he could only begin to comprehend what she was going through. All he could really do, was hope.
  8. Chibi Pika

    Chibi Pika Stay positive

    You did a great job conveying Kuki's grief. A lot of powerful emotion came through there, from her disbelief to her anger at Suicune to her insistence that Mew would never leave her. It's all very real and hits pretty hard. And of course, we get the foreshadowed arrival of Mewtwo! Very interesting that he blames her for Mew's death and views her as an unworthy successor. That's definitely going to make for an interesting dynamic between them later on--that is, if anyone can track down where she teleported off to! (And honestly, having Mewtwo as the primary antagonist from here is just a cool idea in general and a great way to mix up the usual formula of a human getting cool legendary powers.) Looking forward to reading what comes next~

    DreamSayer likes this.
  9. DreamSayer

    DreamSayer Name's Adam.

    Thanks for the review, Chibi! And yes, Mewtwo is definitely going to be a major game player from this point on. However, he may not necessarily be a full on villain. We'll just have to wait and see.
  10. DreamSayer

    DreamSayer Name's Adam.

    Chapter 4: Broken

    Kuki's eyes pried open to the sight of a full moon obscured behind flowing clouds. She saw large thick trees surrounding her, the tree crowns packed densely together that they almost blocked the sky from being seen down below.

    Half her body was submerged in a puddle, her faint motions bobbing her up and down like a water balloon. Her first instinct was to sit upright, but when she tried pushing herself up, she was greeted by her short blue arms.

    Kuki evoked a gasp, but it only took a few seconds for her to recollect most of what had happened to her in the past few days. Her mouth hung open as she inspected the rest of her body, seeing her long tail that stretched behind her, the rabbit-like hind legs attached to her and her almost completely blue body surface. There was no more doubting it, she had indeed become a Pokémon.

    'So, it really is true…' she muttered, looking at her reflection in the puddle she lay in. Staring back at her was a face that looked identical to Mew's, except, it couldn't possibly have been Mew no matter how much she wished it was.

    'This is me now…' Kuki muttered with a distant look, then she squeezed her expression.

    'Noooo!' she screamed at the top of her voice, her scream echoing in her mind, and through her surroundings. 'No! No!... no,' she continued, warmth trickling down the sides of her muzzle as her tears poured down nonstop.

    'She's gone… and it's all my fault isn't it?!' Kuki's face was hot as she held her head in her paws. 'No, please this can't be happening…" Kuki swallowed, then she screamed again. 'I'm sorry for what I did! Please come back, Mami… I don't want to be alone. I don't want to be without you!'

    'I just didn't want them to take me away from you… I didn't know this would happen. I was so stupid, I should've listened to you,' Kuki said, sniffling as she wrapped her long tail around her. 'If I'd done what you said, then you'd still be here now, and I wouldn't have ended up…'

    Kuki took a brief moment to recall the exact moments of her death. She remembered the rigidity of the bench she'd laid her head on, the stinging pain stabbing her chest at the time, and the coldness of emptiness as it choked her last breaths away. Kuki bit her lip while trembling in place; the mere recollection of it sent icy spikes down her spine.

    Kuki lowered her head, gazing upon the rippling puddles. Her ear twitched as a raindrop fell on it, then another, and within a minute, a downpour began to fall from the gaps between the trees around her.

    Kuki wasn't bothered by the raindrops drumming against her skin. She had little motivation to do anything aside from sitting in her spot, staring distantly at nothingness while negative emotions swirled in her mind, that was until a crack of thunder finally broke her out of her daze.

    Kuki jumped, catching a glimpse of the thick clouds drifting above her, which lit up like a fluorescent bulb each time a stream of lightning shot out, followed by the booming of thunder. Hearing that made her hair stand on end, and she started trembling.

    I have to get out of here Kuki told herself as she gulped down. She tried to walk, but it soon became apparent to her that her body wasn't structured for ground travel. Her hind feet were too long, like those of a raichu, and her arms weren't long enough for her to move on all fours either.

    Kuki let out an exasperated groan, grating her teeth. 'This isn't fair! How does this body even work?! It's so stupi—' Kuki hastily shut her mouth with her paws, her body trembling. 'I'm so sorry, Mami. I didn't… I don't mean it, I promise.'

    Kuki sat back as she began to sniffle. What should I do now? I guess I could try changing into a human again like I did before…

    Kuki closed her eyes as she repeated the words 'I'm a human' to herself over and over. At some point, she started to feel her form begin to change shape. Her body soon glowed in a luminous white as her transformation process began. Her arms stretched out, long flowing hair sprouted from her head as her her muzzle shrank inwards.

    However, an image of a black eyed Mew popped into her mind, and all of a sudden, Kuki felt knots twisting in her stomach. She fidgeted and squeezed her eyes shut, then she fell aside, her body spasming as she rapidly reverted back to her Pokémon form.

    It's no use. I can't concentrate on anything! The only thing… The only one I can think of right now is you, Mew…

    Kuki sobbed as she clenched her paws, raising her face to the sky as rain washed around her. Kuki lay there motionless, her eyes empty and her heart hollow. She closed her eyes, wishing everything would just disappear and go back to normal as when she did, but then another crack of thunder shook her in place.

    Kuki squinted her eyes as the echoes of thunder reverberated in her ears. She wanted the storm to stop and leave her be, but she knew that wasn't going to happen. She didn't want to take her chances with the lightning either.

    I need to get out of here, but how can I do that if I don't even know how to walk? Kuki questioned herself as she trudged her way out of the muddy puddle, stopping for a bit once she felt herself on solid ground.

    'What should I do?!' Kuki yelled out, gnashing her teeth and slapping her tail down, which immediately prompted a wince. She sniffled as she massaged her tail, then, a faint glow caught her eye.

    Kuki turned around, her pupils widening when she saw a lilypad with a blue glowing lotus flower. Kuki blinked twice, then she leaned in towards it for a closer look.

    'Could it be?' she whispered to herself. Kuki then shrieked, jerking back as the lilypad sprung up, revealing an elf-like creature beneath it.

    'Oh my… Is it really you?!' Kuki asked with gleaming eyes as she inspected the creature.

    The elf opened its black beady eyes, blinking a few times. Kuki couldn't get her eyes off the red swirls on his cheeks, which were the same color as his flowing scarf.

    "Hello!" the boy gleamed, waving his hand at her. He then leaned to wipe his green clothes. His skin was gray-brown, and he was like a wooden carved doll.

    'The Lotus Prince?! How are you… you're… you're real?!' Kuki said, almost lunging herself at him.

    "I'm real? Well, I'm as real as you want me to be. Also, just call me by my name, Nim. It's easier," he chuckled, resting a hand on his hips. His expression then changed, his lips parting as he said, "You seem troubled…'

    Kuki lowered her eyes, groaning. 'I don't know what to do. It's this body, I don't know how it works. Mew always moved by floating around or changing into something that could walk normally, but I don't know how to do any of that.'

    Nim blinked, then he rubbed his chin. He gasped, his eyes flickering. "Can't you just hop? Like a bunny?" he said, leaping out of the puddle and landing with a crouch. He turned to face her, saying, "You can, can't you?"

    Kuki's eyes drifted aside as she groaned. 'I'm not sure… I haven't done that yet.'

    "Well, go ahead, try it!" Nim said, throwing his fist in the air.

    'Oh, okay then.'

    Kuki balanced on the tip of her toes, her upper body leaned forward, and her tail slightly raised above the ground.

    "You're not going to fall," Nim commented. "You can do this!"

    Kuki stuck her tongue against her cheek. 'I know… but this does feel kinda comfortable.'

    "Spectacular! Now you know what to do, right?"

    Kuki nodded at the energetic elf. She turned her face toward the pathway ahead of her. The forest grounds didn't have any grass growing, but the floor was practically covered by dead leaves and small shrubs scattered about.

    Kuki bit her lip as uncertainty crept across her a weak sigh, she hopped forward, but then she tripped and fell on her snout.

    "Try to be careful, you're almost there!" Nim said, standing beside her. "Don't give up, you've got this."

    'I didn't say I was giving up,' Kuki huffed, picking herself back up.

    Kuki then tried taking another leapt again, growing wobbly as she landed before, then she gradually regained balance. Kuki heaved, then she took another forward hop, then another, and another, and after a couple more steady hops, she was able to move about comfortably enough.

    'Hey look, I'm doing it! I'm actually doing it, Nim!" Kuki beamed, but Nim was nowhere to be found when she turned around.

    Where did he go? Kuki wondered. He could've at least said goodbye…

    Kuki aimlessly wandered the forest floor. She searched around for shelter as she hopped, but she had little luck in finding any places that looked comfortable enough to tuck herself in, and wait till the storm settled.

    'I can't do this anymore… my feet feel like they're going to break like candy sticks,' Kuki cried, halting to a stop next to a tree bark. Her toes ached with pins and needles, which only reminded her of just how unfit her body was for ground travel.

    She leaned her back against the tree, positioning herself between two converging roots. The tree didn't completely protect her from the rain, but that didn't bother her much.

    Kuki breathed steadily as she pulled her tail towards her. Part of her was still weirded out by the sensation of touch on the appendage. She tried to massage her feet, but they'd grown so numb that she couldn't feel them.

    Kuki groaned as she pulled back, her eyes distant and lost once again. As exhaustion weighed down her lids, she shut her eyes and curled up, listening to the cries and chatter of the night forest. They however felt so loud, making her feel like the sounds were projecting right into her mind. Kuki could even hear what sounded like voices.

    'Kuki,' a voice called.

    Kuki jumped, shooting a glance at the direction of the voice only to be greeted by a Pokémon's blue eyes with black outlines. Kuki couldn't exactly make out all of the pokemon's features due to her exhaustion.

    'Who are you?' Kuki asked in a cautious tone.

    The Pokémon hovered closer, allowing Kuki to notice that its body was mostly green. 'I'm Celebi. I've been expecting you.'

    'You've been expecting me?' Kuki's eyes widened. 'Wait, how do you know my name?'

    Celebi flashed her a grin. 'I know a lot more about you than just your name. Come with me, we can discuss more at my place,' Celebi said, whirling around to lead the way.

    Kuki shrank back, narrowing her eyes. 'My mother told me not to follow strangers.'

    Celebi gave her a passive stare. Her look, and the silence building up between them, gave Kuki goosebumps.

    'Mew would have also told you I'm not an enemy,' Celebi said finally, her passive tone unwavering.

    She knows Mami?!

    Celebi nodded. 'Yes, I knew Mew indeed, more than you do.'

    'Did you just r—'

    'Read your mind? Yes. It's a staple of psychic pokemon. You'll learn to do it too with time, now come follow me,' Celebi said, turning around.

    Kuki lowered her eyes to her feet; they still felt sore when she twitched her toes. Kuki groaned. 'My legs still hurt. I can't walk any longer. You'll have to carry me if you can.'

    Celebi paused, turning around. 'Then why don't you just levitate? You're just like Mew aren't you?'

    'I don't know how to levitate, fly, or do any of the things Mew does!' Kuki snapped, burying her face in her paws, sobbing. 'I don't know how to do anything…'

    'Oh, is that so? Levitation is quite simple, but considering your situation, it's no surprise you haven't grasped it fully. Give me your paws,' Celebi said, offering hers with a smile.

    Kuki stared at her with great reluctance. She doesn't look like a bad Pokémon… Maybe she's really here to help me? With that thought in mind, Kuki did as told.

    'There, now as I pull you up, I need you to focus only on the feeling of weightlessness.'

    'What does that mean?'

    'Imagine yourself as a feather floating in the breeze.'

    Kuki nodded. 'Oh… okay.'

    'Now close your eyes and focus.'

    Gradually, Celebi pulled Kuki up by the paws. Kuki winced a bit as she had to momentarily stand on her feet, but the pain subsided as they lifted off the ground.

    I'm as light as a feather, I'm as light as a feather, Kuki repeated to herself, biting her lip.

    'Open your eyes now,' Celebi instructed.

    Kuki obliged, raising her eyelids gradually. Her eyes widened to the brim when she saw that they were hovering high over the treetops. Kuki screamed in panic, latching herself onto Celebi.

    'Don't panic, and maintain your focus,' Celebi said, a tinge of irritation showing on her expression.

    Kuki blinked twice, then she gradually let go of Celebi. She gulped as she stared at the ground way below her, and it took a lot of mental convincing for her to fully accept that she was indeed hovering on her own.

    'Hey look! I'm actually doing it!' Kuki chimed, evoking a nervous laugh.

    'Splendid. Now follow me. My place isn't far,' Celebi said, tugging on Kuki's arm. Celebi then spent a moment to observe Kuki, which made the young mew anxious. 'I only just now noticed. You're lot smaller than Mew. Could it be because you're younger?'

    Kuki's cheeks flushed. 'Well, I'm only twelve years old, and Mew was… I don't even know how old she was…' she muttered, fiddling with her digits.

    Celebi hummed, motioning Kuki to follow. 'Older than you think, for sure. Now, follow me.'

    Celebi led Kuki to a region deeper in the forest, where the terrain had barely any signs of human disturbance. Along the way, a worn down stone tablet caught Kuki's attention. She couldn't make out what was inscribed on it, but she saw a couple of them arranged along the pathway Celebi was taking her.

    'A long time ago, humans used to come here to visit me. They would bring me gifts and all other varieties of offerings I didn't ask for, nor have any interest in,' Celebi said as they neared their destination. She glanced at one of the stone tablets, saying, 'They're the ones who made these carved rocks.'

    'Why did they do that?' Kuki asked, mildly curious.

    Celebi shook her head. 'I never did fully comprehend humans. Perhaps they did all those things to thank me, or they believed I could provide them good fortune in return for their worship. Needless to say, I let them believe what they wanted to believe. In the end, it didn't matter because…'

    All of a sudden, Celebi's voice felt distant and muffled out, prompting Kuki to narrow her eyes as she tilted her head.

    Huh? Did she stop talking or is she whispering so I won't hear?

    No sooner had Kuki thought that when a swarm of voices started bombarding her head, freezing her in place. She couldn't make out what any of the voices were saying, and they sounded more like a jumbled mess of noise..

    Celebi glanced behind her when she heard Kuki let out a pained groan. Celebi slowed down a bit, then asked, 'Is everything alright?'

    Kuki winced as she struggled to remain afloat. She was feeling a pounding in her head, like her skull was being dragged against a wall and being battered with a club. 'My head… what's happening? Where are all these voices from?' she whimpered, biting hard on her lower lip.

    'You're overworking your telepathy.' Celebi informed. 'You must learn to gain control, or you could suffer horrible mental strain.'

    'I can't… It… hu-hurts!' she cried, then her body went limp.

    'Kuki!' Celebi quickly caught her before she fell, levitating her with her own psychic energy. She hovered closer to Kuki, observing her intently before releasing a huff. 'I could have prevented this from occurring, but I'm another puppet in the grand theater, one who can see their own strings.'


    Kuki groaned as she came to regain consciousness. Her body felt heavy like a sack of rocks, her mouth tasted like sandpaper, and her vision was blurry for a few brief moments before clearing up.

    'I see you've awoken,' a voice said beside her.

    Kuki threw a confused stare at the direction of the voice, then a spark of recognition crossed her eyes. 'Celebi? What happened?' Kuki asked weakly.

    'You lost consciousness on our way here. It appears that your abilities as a Pokémon are occurring to you one at a time, some surfacing more strongly than others,' Celebi explained, her back facing Kuki as she levitated some objects.

    Kuki didn't respond, curling up into a ball as she groaned. She could still feel lingering prickles of pain in her cranium.

    Through her idle movements, she noticed that they were in a relatively small room with a wooden flooring, which had a stale odor. She vaguely made out a few cobwebs strewn around the vermillion wood ceiling, and the wall paint had tattered and flaked in patches.

    Kuki's nose twitched as a sweet scent drifted up her nostrils. She turned her gaze to find Celebi handing her a curved, pink berry with a yellow underside.

    'A berry!' Kuki beamed, her mouth salivating.

    'You must be exhausted. This should help you recover more quickl—' before Celebi could finish her sentence, Kuki snatched the berry from her and gorged down on it. Celebi observed with mild amusement as Kuki gorged down the berry.

    Celebi pointed to a pile of berries beside Kuki. 'There's more for you to choose from when you're done. I imagine teleporting yourself halfway across the planet and then trying to read minds from dozens of hours away must have worn you out beyond comprehension,' Celebi said, placing the other berries in front of Kuki. 'Not many psychic pokemon can undergo such stress and live to tell about it. You're truly just as resilient as she was.'

    Kuki gazed up at Celebi with a pinched expression,her mouth full as she said, 'Stop your yammering. I'm trying to eat, Onion Fairy!'

    Celebi widened her eyes, her stare piercing right through Kuki as she asked, 'What did you just call me?'

    Kuki felt her chest tighten, and she couldn't bring herself to take another bite of her mago. 'I-I-I didn't mean to, I swear! I'm… Sorry…' she said, shrinking internally.

    'I'm not offended,' Celebi said tilting her head to the side. 'You just caught me by surprise. Mew's the only one who ever calls me Onion Fairy.'

    'I'm sorry,' Kuki repeated.

    'I told you, I'm not offended. It stands to reason that you'll inherit some of her mannerisms, seeing as you're her successor,' Celebi said with an air of nonchalance. 'It's only natural.'

    'Mew…' Kuki frowned as she dropped her half eaten berry. Tears started streaming down her cheeks as she hiccoughed. 'It's my fault that Mew's gone.'

    Celebi placed her hand over her mouth. 'Is it? How so?'

    'She was going to take me to the human doctors before things got so bad, and I didn't listen to her no matter how much she insisted. I didn't want them to take me away from her, and now I've lost her forever!' Kuki cried out.

    'Is that what you think? That she's gone?' Celebi inquired.

    'Well then, where else is she? That Suicune pokemon said she made a deal, for me to be brought back to life, and for her to…' Kuki's expression drooped. She couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence.

    'Mew didn't simply die. Rather, she's become a permanent part of you,' Celebi said, pointing at Kuki's chest.

    'She's… a part of me?' Kuki asked, sniffling.

    'Mew chose to lose her mind, body and soul in order to resurrect you, a human. I do not know why she chose you,' Celebi said, raising her arms in a shrug. 'If you ask me, she should have left you as you were when you deceased and moved on. A single human's life is not worth losing one's existence for.'

    Kuki clenched her paws. 'So, it really is all my fault. If Mew hadn't ever met me, she never would've made that choice?'

    'No!' Celebi began, matter of factly, 'it is all Mew's fault. She's the one who chose to revive you in your current state, knowing full well how much she made you rely on her for practically everything. Mew hadn't taught you how to live independently. You wouldn't have been such a ruin if she had.'

    Kuki could physically feel like withering away as Celebi went on. She bit her lip, continuing to listen.

    'Your death shook her to the core, and it resulted in her making a most illogical decision. Mew may have been a compassionate Pokémon despite her childish outlook on life, but this is going too far even for her.'

    'If I hadn't been born then, if I never existed and never was, Mew would still be here?' Kuki said, staring blankly into space.

    Celebi nodded, waving her hand as she said, 'Yes. Mew would've continued to exist in a timeline in which you never were.'

    'I wish… I wish I hadn't been born,' Kuki muttered.

    'Unfortunately, I cannot answer your wishes. I am not a jirachi,' Celebi said, still maintaining her neutral tone.

    'What's a Jirachi?' Kuki asked, but before Celebi could answer, she shook her head saying, 'Don't bother, I don't even care. I just want to be alone right now.'

    'You're already alone. Mew was all you had, wasn't she?' Celebi said.

    'Just go away!' Kuki snapped, the base of her eyes dampened with tears.

    Celebi's antennae twitched as she hovered toward the exit. 'I suppose some time alone could do you something. You'd have plenty of time to think. I have business to attend to elsewhere. You're free to leave here if you desire.'

    As Celebi turned around to leave, she felt Kuki holding onto her leg. Celebi craned her head backward, and she evoked a hum after seeing that Kuki had changed into her human form.

    Kuki's hair draped over her face as she cried, saying, "Please don't go! I don't want to be alone! I don't want to ever be alone!"

    Celebi's pupils retracted a bit, but she didn't respond, so, Kuki continued. "I'll do whatever you tell me to do, I promise I'll do all my chores, I'll brush my teeth before going to bed, I'll do anything! Please… let me stay with you!" Kuki cried, raising her face at Celebi.

    Celebi maintained silence as Kuki weakened her grasp on her leg. Celebi watched her sit on her knees, wiping her face repeatedly as she wept.

    Celebi's lips parted slightly, then she said, 'Very well, but know that however, I can never be a replacement for Mew to you, if that's what you want me to be. However, are you sure you want this?'

    Kuki looked away, her eyes narrowed and damp. She grasped her arm tightly, then muttered, "I do."
  11. Negrek

    Negrek Lost but Seeking

    All right, I've been meaning to get to this for a while. I didn't read the previous version of the story, so I'm not going to be able to compare between them.

    I like the relationsip between Kuki and Mew. It feels like a good fit for a pokémon like Mew who's been shown to be very mischievous and childlike in how she interacts with the world. Clearly Mew has no respect whatsoever for personal property! You do a good job of getting across that Kuki's a naive child, and the two of them make a good match for each other. Also, shoplifting snacks is A+, exactly what you should be doing with your abundant psychic power. :p

    Says the cat who was helping her shoplift a couple scenes ago. XD

    Unfortunately, I think this first chapter goes by a bit too quickly. I don't think we really get to see enough of Mew and Kuki's relationship for her illness and death to have much of an impact. It's one of those things where I can appreciate, intellectually, that what's going on is sad, but I'm really not feeling it. Even though Mew's gotten attached to Kuki, there hasn't been enough time for me to do the same, so it doesn't feel all that real to me. Can I buy that Mew is so devastated by Kuki's death that she'd sacrifice herself to revive her? Yeah, but I don't really have a visceral sympathy for it. It's tricky, because obviously you don't want to spend a lot of chapters building up to this moment when your actual interest is in what Kuki does after being turned into a Mew. However, I think you could maybe stand to spend a little more time than you do. We never get to see Kuki actually healthy, her illness p

    I'm also not clear on why Kuki couldn't go to the hospital. If she didn't want anyone to take Mew away, she could just... not bring Mew with her? Or Mew could transform into a human and pretend to be her parent.

    I did like Ho-Oh, though, for the brief time that he was onscreen. I thought you did a good job of making him seem regal, definitely older and more level-headed than the other main characters. I also liked the shimmery, glowy image you evoked for Ho-Oh.

    The second chapter is much better paced, I think. You want to spend some time on Kuki getting used to her new body and abilities, but not so much so that it drags on. About a chapter for the initial exploration is about right, I think. Again, you do the childishness of Kuki very well here; the way she's talking to herself while trying to get the juice box to levitate towards her, or her struggles with the ball, are both cute and seem appropriate to her age and level of understanding. I also like how you bring out how strong she is in fairly understated ways, like when she stomps her foot and cracks the tile underneath it.

    It seems a bit cruel of Mew and Ho-Oh to revive Kuki without leaving her some sort of explanation as to what was going on. Like, surely Mew would have wanted to give her some last words, since they'd never see each other again? Could neither of them have left a note? Mew told Suicune what was up, yeah, but then didn't send Suicune off with Ho-Oh or whatever to make sure there was someone there when Kuki woke up. It just seems irresponsible... I know Mew was messed up and grieving, but Ho-Oh's a reasonable guy, right? Leaving Suicune to run over there after the fact had the potential to leave a lot of time in which Kuki would be scared, and confused, and possibly do something like spontaneously teleport herself to somewhere Suicune wouldn't be able to find.

    Well, you don't mean "exhumed," that means digging up something that's been buried. Maybe you meant vented heat? Unless you're going for a very cartoony image of someone with smoke coming out of their ears, though, this doesn't make a ton of sense.

    This is a bit of a weird simile. Do balls lost in weeds often try to figure out what's outside?

    I like Mewtwo, too, although I'm always biased in that regard. He does seem more than a little OTT when he's threatening to blow up everything on account of Mew having sacrificed herself for Kuki, but at other times he seems fairly calm and reasonable... I don't have a good read on him yet. The battle between him and Suicune was great, I thought; I'm always for strategy-heavy battles that make a lot of use of environmental conditions, so I definitely enjoyed it. I thought you did a good job of describing the action, too; it was very cinematic. I look forward to seeing Mewtwo return sometime in the future!

    In the next chapter, I'm not sure what's up with the Lotus Prince? It was a nice callback to the story Kuki remembered earlier, but was it supposed to be a hallucination? Or some kind of pokémon? Didn't sound like any pokémon I recognized, but I'm super bad at identifying them from written descriptions. All in all he made for kind of a weird interlude. I don't know if you just couldn't think of a reasonable way for Kuki to figure out hopping otherwise?

    Squeezed... her expression?

    Now, I know you were thinking of having Celebi be a kind of Kyubey-like figure. I have to admit she didn't really come across like that. A bit of a flat aspect, sure, but missing that kind of unsettling unemotional ruthlessness that Kyubey has. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing! I don't know that Kyubey would function better here than what you've got; it all depends on what you're going for.

    What really stood out to me in these early chapters were the details you put in. Little moments like Kuki running her hand up over her dresser while she's hiding out, afraid of Suicune, or how Kuki's ear twitches when a raindrop falls on it, make the world feel real. They add authenticity and make your scenes much more vivid than they would be otherwise. I also think you do a nice job of how your characters really feel what's happening to them, like how Kuki gets that hot-wax feeling of unease, thinking of Suicune outside the door, or how she wakes up with her mouth feeling like sandpaper. Again, these sorts of descriptions help anchor the story and make it feel more concrete and believable, which is especially important when the story is about someone losing their body completely. You really want to bring the physical sensations Kuki experiences home, so the readers can appreciate what she goes through on a visceral level.

    At this point what I really want to find out is where this story's going. Kuki's a Mew--so now what's she going to do? You've done a fine job of the introduction, and now you just need to transition into the plot proper. Mewtwo's probably going to play into it one way or another, of course, but what's Kuki going to do--what does she want? Is she going to need to take on the responsibilities of a legendary, even though she doesn't particularly want to and really isn't qualified? Is she going to have to find a new way to relate to the world as both a pokémon and a human? There are a lot of different places you could take her story, and I look forward to seeing where you go with it. Good luck with your writing; I know you've struggled with this one at times, but I think you're doing a good job, and if you press ahead, hopefully you can keep upping the bar. Keep at it!
    DreamSayer likes this.
  12. DreamSayer

    DreamSayer Name's Adam.

    Hehheh, admitedly, I wrote that first scene before I decided what to do with the rest of the story, hence the rather mischievous act in the opening.

    I must agree, the first chapter was very rushed in retrospect, but I've slowed down the pacing in later chapters and added more moments to spend more time with the characters.

    Also, it wasn't that Kuki didn't want them to take Mew, but that she was paranoid that the humans will take her away from Mew. To be honest, I should have made it clearer that Mew may have told Kuki some of her unsavory experiences with humans.

    Why didn't I do that? :(

    He was a hallucination, and it was kind of my subtle way of showing how Kuki's unstable psionic power was projecting some of her subconscious imaginations. It wasn't so subtle, now, was it? :(

    Regardless, thank you very much for reviewing my story! :) I'll take your criticisms to heart and work to improve my writing
  13. DreamSayer

    DreamSayer Name's Adam.

    Chapter 5: Closure

    A few hours had passed when Kuki finally decided to stop crying. She lay on the cold hard floor of the shrine, staring blankly at the wall with reddened eyes with little to no movement. She held her ears as she tried forcing herself to fall asleep throughout the night, but all she could feel was the hollow gloom burning her chest.

    Kuki rolled on her stomach to face the opposite direction. She was still in her human form-it no longer bore the long tail and cat-like ears like the day before, but she didn't want put much thought on their absence. If anything, she was glad they were gone; they made her feel like a freak.

    She scraped her nails against the wood planks, rubbing her hips as they grew sore. Kuki badly wanted to sit up and stretch her aching muscles, but she couldn't muster up the strength for it. Everything was bad—that much she believed, and things would only ever become worse.

    While the night continued to pass and the hoothoots of the forest cooed, Kuki was rummaging through her memories, remembering her past life with Mew and all the things Mew would teach and show her.

    Mew… I wish things would just go back the way they were. Kuki clenched her hand over her mouth as beads of tears formed in her eyes. I miss you.

    Kuki recalled a single memory, one which she cherished more than any other. The memory was so clear and crisp, she could remember it as though it were yesterday. The day she had turned ten…

    While Kuki fell into deep slumber, Celebi gently pulled the door to the shrine, making sure the door creaked as little as possible. As she hovered in, she stopped beside Kuki, inspecting her face to be sure she was asleep. Having confirmed that, Celebi hovered down, a purple glow forming around her irises.

    "Don't misjudge me, Mew. I'm not doing this for your sake."


    In her dream, Kuki had woken up in the morning feeling groggy like she often did any other morning. She opened her mouth with a yawn, rubbing her eyes as she pushed her blankets down to her waist. She lay there for about a minute in her pink slowpoke-patterned pajamas, her stomach growling as she wondered what she'd have for breakfast.

    Kuki then felt a presence next to her. 'Rise and shine, baby girl!' Mew beamed towards her.

    Kuki curved her lips in a smile. "I'm not a baby anymore. I'm ten years old now!" Kuki said, throwing her arms up. "I'm a grown up now."

    Mew gasped. 'Oh dear, was that today?'

    Kuki lowered her arms slowly. "You forgot my birthday?"

    Mew snickered, waving her paw. 'Oh come on, what do you take me for? Of course, I'd never forget your birthday! Now hurry up and get ready. We have big plans for today.'

    "Yay!" Kuki cheered, sitting all the way up. "Are we going to go to the waterfalls again?!" Kuki looked up at the ceiling with sparkling eyes. "I want to swim to the bottom of water this time."

    'We can't do that.' Mew shook her head. 'We've already been there last year.'

    Kuki groaned, the sparkles in her eyes fading fast. "But I wanna go there, Mew."

    'Sorry Kuki, but there's somewhere even more amazing that I want to take you on this very special day!' Mew said in a jumpy tone.

    Kuki's mouth widened, her eyes lighting up. "A place more amazing than the waterfalls?! Where, where?!"

    Mew chuckled. 'It's a secret. You'll see it when we get there.'

    Kuki hunched with a groan. "Aw, I have to wait?"

    'Yes, but before that, I have something for you!' Mew said, leaping off the bed.

    Kuki crawled to the bedside to follow Mew. She hummed when she saw Mew sitting on a gift box wrapped crudely with red ribbons. "Is that for me?" Kuki asked with a squeal.

    Mew nodded with a smile. 'Would you like to see what's inside?'

    Kuki nodded, a wide smile across her face as she climbed down her bed. Mew stepped aside, allowing Kuki to grab the box, the first thing the girl did was shake it next to her ear.

    "I wonder what could be inside," Kuki said, smirking. She set the box down and proceeded to loosen the ribbons, ripping off the gift wraps to expose the cardboard box.

    Kuki gasped in awe as she opened the box. Inside were two handmade yarn dolls. It didn't take long for Kuki to recognize the first one, which was modeled after Mew herself, with blue buttoned eyes and a long braided tail.

    "Wow, it's you!" Kuki exclaimed, holding up the doll. The cotton texture felt soft against her fingers, and she was truly taken aback by how well put together it was. "Did you make this all just for me?!" Kuki asked with glistening eyes.

    Mew nodded, hovering to the box. 'Oh, it wasn't easy making these, you know? It's crazy that your kind make these stuff all the time; your kind are full of surprises. Look! The other one is you!' Mew chimed, levitating the second doll.

    Kuki gave the doll a long good look. Mew had practically replicated her, from her brunette hair to her usual orange dress and black slippers. Kuki hummed when she noticed Mew had stitched a smile onto the doll as well.

    "I love it!" Kuki chimed, squeezing the doll in her arms. She held the two yarn dolls side by side, completely enamored by them.

    'You can stash them in your toy chest when you're done playing with them, but for now, an adventure of a lifetime awaits us!'

    Kuki nodded. "Wait, I know the best place to keep these." She walked to the room's mirror, saying, "I think it'll be better if I kept them here like this, don't you think?" Kuki sat the two dolls side by side to be leaning on each other. "This way, we'll still be together at home, even when we're not!"

    Mew rested on Kuki's shoulder, wearing a proud smile, 'That's a wonderful sentiment, Kuki.'

    Kuki looked away with reddened cheeks. "Yeah."

    Afterwards, Mew and Kuki resumed their preparations for the day. Kuki had worn her brand new orange birthday dress with a red waist ribbon, and Mew helped her tie her hair in a ponytail.

    Mew then teleported them away to a place Kuki had never been to before. Kuki gasped in awe at first, wondering where they were. By her side, she could see the ocean in its vastness, with streaks of gold sparkling under the sunlight. A little less further than that, she could see some humans on the beach, either playing in the sand or simply relaxing.

    "You brought us to the beach?" Kuki asked, tilting her head at Mew, who had shapeshifted to a ninetales.

    'Don't get bummed just yet, that's not why we're here.' Mew pointed her paw in another direction. 'Look, that's where we're going.'

    Kuki squinted her eyes, and the first thing she noticed was a humongous rotating wheel in the distance. Her lips parted slightly, and she stood on her toes as she asked, "What's that place?! Is that where we're gonna go, Mew?"

    Mew nodded, scratching the back of her ear with her hindpaw. 'I've been there before, and from what I've learned, humans go there to have lots of fun!'

    Kuki opened her mouth wide open. "Fun?! Then what are we waiting for?!" she said, skipping ahead.

    'Wait, Kuki!' Mew called out.

    Kuki spun around, leaning sideways. She was going to ask what the holdup was, but a confused stare soon crawled its way to her face when she saw Mew's body disintegrating. Deep down, something told her that wasn't how the memory was supposed to play out.

    Mew smiled, though she seemed to struggle to maintain it as though it were forced. 'I'm really sorry, Kuki, but I don't have much time left…' Mew said in a weak tone, her body succumbing to gravity.

    Kuki's eyes widened, her legs shooting her wrapped her arms around Mew before she could fall to the ground.

    "No… no, please no! I don't want you to go, Mew! I don't want you to go!" Kuki sobbed, her face becoming drenched in tears.

    Mew lowered her eyes, her face crestfallen. 'I don't want to leave you behind either, but there isn't much I can do about it. This was the only way for you to live; this was the only way for me to make up for not being able to save you.'

    Kuki shook her head as she held Mew even tighter. She watched the crimson peak of the sunset as she said, "You didn't have to do this. You shouldn't have done this. This was all my fault! I should have listened more to you. You shouldn't have given up everything for me, Mew!"

    Mew listened to Kuki's wails as they sat, her mouth drawn to an O shape.

    Kuki continued, "I don't want to live without you, Mew. Without you, I feel so lost and alone. I don't know what to do, where to go or even… I need you Mew, I just need you," Kuki said between silent sobs.

    Mew chuckled, sniffling. She drew back from Kuki, who was reluctant to let go. 'Oh, Kuki, I gave up everything for you from the very day I met you,' she said, wiping Kuki's tears with her tail. 'But, I'm the only one who's to blame here.'

    Mew bit her lip, unable to look Kuki in the eye. 'There's something I'd neglected to tell you all this time… It's about how I really found you…'

    "You've already told me the story; you found me lost in the woods."

    Mew drew a long sigh, shaking her head slowly. 'That was a lie. I didn't find you in a forest, I… I took you from your home a long time ago.'

    Kuki's eyes widened, her mouth hanging open. "I had a human family? But..."

    'I'm sorry. I wanted to return you to them, but every time I looked at you, and felt how much I wanted you, I'd tell myself 'just one more year, and I'll take you back', but I just couldn't. I loved having you around too much, and I couldn't give you up for anything.'

    The scenery changed, bringing them to the interior of an urban household. There, Kuki saw an infant in a cradle, while another woman cared for it. Mew floated to the pair, inviting Kuki over to see the brunette toddler.

    'This was you all those years ago. You were so adorable, and so pure of heart. It's what made me drawn to you in the first place.' Mew said, holding the infant's hand, then, the scenery faded and they were back to a plain white place. 'Your real mother's name was Anastasia, and you had an older sibling, and a father as well.'

    Kuki didn't utter a word, and she gazed at Mew with a dumbfounded look. She furrowed her brows, throwing her arms aside. "Why are you telling me this now?!"

    'I understand if you'll hate me, I had only begun hate myself for it recently,' Mew replied in a melancholic tone. Part of her regretted telling Kuki the truth, but a bigger part of her was finally satisfied with getting it off her chest. 'I took everything you could have had, and ended up causing you to live a short life. Sacrificing myself for you isn't enough compensation.'

    "I don't hate you; I was always happy when I was with you!" Kuki cried, dropping to her knees. "I don't care if you took me away from... some other family. All I know is that you're the only family I've ever had and will ever have, not them!" Kuki yelled, dispelling the scenery around them.

    "Isn't there a way to undo this and bring you back?" Kuki begged.

    Mew hovered to Kuki, sitting in front of her. 'I doubt there is. This cannot be reversed, but that's okay, because now that we've merged, we're closer than ever before.' Mew then sighed. 'I wish I could have done more; I wish I had saved you before it was too late. I've failed you in every way, and I don't deserve your forgiveness.'

    "I don't want to live without you, Mew. I'd rather had stayed gone if it meant not being with you anymore."

    'How do you think I felt when I returned to the lighthouse and found you lifeless and limp? I couldn't stand losing you either, but I chose to give you my life because I know how strong you can be,' Mew said, holding Kuki's fingers and looking up at her. 'I raised you from an infant. I've seen you grow and blossom into a strong girl who's not afraid of anything.'

    'I know things will be tough now that we're no longer seeing each other, but I know that you'll pull through just fine. There are so many wonderful things for you to discover on your own, many adventures that you could have, and many friends you could make.'

    'I'm sorry, and I'm sad I can no longer be there to guide you, but I'm also happy at the same time.'

    "How is this anything to be happy about?" Kuki said, squeezing her arm as she turned away.

    'I am happy, because now you truly embody all the great things about me, and about yourself, and so much more!' Mew hovered to the girl and held up her hand. 'Unlike me, you can live freely between the life of a human and the life of a pokemon, which was something I could never have done. You can be anything, or anyone. Isn't that amazing?'

    Kuki stared at her palms as she listened, then she pursed a lips. "It is cool, I guess… but—"

    'Promise me one thing Kuki; promise that you'll carve out your own path and live your life the way you want to. Find freedom, find happiness. No matter what happens, no matter how bad things might become, promise me that you'll always be strong and never lose yourself!'

    Kuki lowered her head, biting her lip as she nodded. "I'll try my best then... for you."

    Mew shook her head, smiling, 'No. I don't want you to do this for me, I want you to do it for yourself.' With those words, Mew rose up and gifted Kuki with a kiss to the forehead, and then, she vanished.


    Kuki sprang up, breathing heavily as she sat on the wooden floor. She looked around just to make sure she was really awake, then she exhaled. She rubbed her face with her palm, and rubbed off the sweat on her dress.

    'A bad dream?' Celebi asked from across her, opening an eye.

    Kuki adjusted her sitting position. She shook her head, saying, "No, it was just a regular dream, but Mew was in it, and it felt so real, like she really was there!"

    'I see,' Celebi said with a nod of acknowledgement, then she closed her eyes again. So, it worked. I must feign ignorance however...

    "Don't you want to hear what I saw in the dream?" Kuki asked, lowering her head.

    'You've already told me. You saw Mew in a dream two days after you lost her. It's only natural for things like that to happen when you're experiencing grief,' Celebi said with a dismissive wave.

    "Bu-but, she really was there! She told me that she didn't find me like I always thought she did, that she actually took me from humans or something," Kuki said, her lips pressing together in a slight grimace.

    'The Mew I know wouldn't have seen anything wrong with doing that. Mew always did as she pleased. She could've killed someone and gone back to smiling and singing a minute after.'

    "What? Mew never did that!"

    'I didn't say she did; I said she could. Don't let dreams distract you from what's real.' Celebi said, swerving her face at the exit. 'I think it should be time now.'

    "Time? For what?"

    'Come follow me,' Celebi said, pushing the door of her shrine as she hovered out.

    Kuki stared idly for a few seconds, then she crawled towards the exit. She nearly toppled over as she climbed out of the shrine, her movements sloppy. She landed with a huff, and saw Celebi levitating into the forest.

    "Wait up," Kuki uttered in a low voice, though Celebi didn't slow her pace in the slightest. Kuki did manage to catch up when her legs finally decided to work normally, and she walked barefoot beside the time fairy.

    "Where are we going?" Kuki asked after a few minutes of silence.

    'Somewhere appropriate, so I can teach you how to actually be a Pokémon, after which you'll depart and be on your own.'

    Kuki halted, her hands shaking, "You're sending me away? I thought you were going to take care of me..."

    Celebi shook her head, raising her hand as she said, 'I'm afraid that won't do. I personally have no desire to babysit you.'

    Kuki threw her hands down, furrowing her brows as she said, "You just said I could live with you yesterday, and now you're changing your mind?"

    'I didn't say you couldn't,' Celebi deadpanned. 'I just am not going to pamper you like an infant the way Mew did. For the brief time you stay with me, you'll learn a thing or two about being independent.'

    "Mew would have let me stay with her as long as I wanted."

    'Mew would have also wanted the best for your survival, which is what I'm offering you.'

    Kuki lowered her eyes, clenching her fists, then she relaxed them. "But that's not fair. How do you know Mew would want me to be living alone all by myself?" Kuki argued.

    'When Suicune came to take you from your island, what did he tell you?'

    "Suicune?" Kuki bit her lip as she fell into thought. "He said he wanted to take me away… That someone, his master apparently, sent him to get me or something. That's what he said."

    'Is that all he said?'

    Kuki grumbled as she recalled more of the events of that day. They weren't the most pleasant of memories, and she would have preferred that she forgot them. "He told me that someone, or something dangerous was going to come after me if I didn't go with him, but I think he was just trying to trick me."

    'He wasn't,' Celebi said flatly. 'You're the single most essential pokemon in the world. Do you really think no danger would seek to harm you?' Celebi hovered to Kuki, her eyes staring deep into the girl. 'Why did you think Mew always hid herself from most of the world? You can't expect someone to take all your problems away; you have to develop the will and wisdom to tackle some of them by yourself.'

    Kuki gulped as she took a step back from Celebi, who was unreasonably close to her face. "Okay, I believe you now. So, you're going to be my teacher or something like that?"

    'In a manner of speaking," Celebi said with a wave of her hand. 'You have a lot of unrealized potential, and I am willing to see how far you can go. Your training should also help you get your mind off Mew, and maybe, you'll come to accept that she's no longer with us.' Celebi said, hovering down a small cliff.

    Kuki squatted by the edge of the cliff, pondering over Celebi's words. She took a few steps back and leapt down the cliff, almost tripping over as she landed.

    "I don't want to forget Mew, but I guess it'd be nice if I stopped crying all the time whenever I thought of her." Kuki hugged herself, letting the warmth from her arms soothe her. "You know, I really think Mew was there in my dream last night."

    'This again?' Celebi asked, taking a turn through two trees leaning into one another.

    Kuki ducked as she followed Celebi through the gap. "It's just… I don't know how to explain it," Kuki said, scratching her forehead. "I want to believe she really was there."

    'You're free to believe that if you choose to,' Celebi said with a shrug. 'But by the time I'm done teaching you all you need to know, it wouldn't matter.'

    The two arrived at a clearing in the forest where a greenish force field, with several unknown symbols sprawled around it, towered over the trees; Kuki was quick to notice how the force field wall grew less visible the higher it was, and it gave off a foreboding feeling.

    "What… where is this?" Kuki asked, her mouth hanging open.

    'It's a dimension with fragmented time. Anything that enters will either freeze or experience time much more slowly than outside observers, which makes it the best place for me to train you,' Celebi explained, holding Kuki's hand as she pulled her closer to the barrier. 'From my observations, no humans have been able to go inside without becoming frozen like statues within minutes of entry.'

    Kuki pulled her hand away, furrowing her brows as she eyed drew her face back. "What will happen if I went into this confusing place? Won't I freeze since I'm a human?"

    Celebi blinked at her with a tilted look. 'You're not a human, Kuki, you'll probably be fine.'


    'Yes. Now come, we don't have time to lose,' Celebi said, pushing her way into the barrier ahead of Kuki, sending green ripples reverberating across the surface.

    "Okay, I trust you Celebi," Kuki said, gulping. She stretched her arms forward as she approached the barrier, her heart racing as she stood mere inches away from it. "Well, here goes nothing!"

    A tingling sensation ran throughout Kuki's body as she crossed over the barrier. As soon as she arrived on the other side, she immediately fell on her knees, panting as nausea juggled her cranium. Lifting her gaze, she saw Celebi staring down at her with a neutral face.

    'That wasn't so hard now, was it?' Celebi said, raising Kuki back to her feet with a wave of her hand.

    "That was so weird…" Kuki said with a groan. "I felt like… like… I don't want to ever do that again."

    'Is that so? I guess you must plan on staying here forever then,' Celebi said, swerving her head to the massive whitestone wall behind her, which was lined with moss and overgrown vine plants.

    Grass crunched beneath Kuki's feet as she stepped forward, her mouth wide open as she gasped. "What is this place? It's like we're in another world or something!"

    'It used to be part of the normal world before it was isolated,' Celebi said offhandedly. 'This way,' Celebi instructed, hovering off.

    The pair circled around the wall on an overgrown pathway, which looked like it hadn't been used in years. Celebi hovered ahead of Kuki, not once attempting to spark conversation with Kuki. Kuki groaned, the silence and boring journey was getting too much for her to handle.

    Kuki shot her arm up. "Can't we just fly over the wall?"

    'Do that, and you'd end up thrown right back where you flew in from,' Celebi explained, but when Kuki gave her a blinking face, she had to elaborate further. 'You cannot get in through any opening other than the gate.'

    Kuki drew her mouth into an O shape. "But why is that?"

    'Time is unstable in this dimension. Parts of it are slow, other parts accelerate, and try your best to avoid the areas where time loops over and over.'

    "But I don't understand… how did this place become like this?"

    'A great disaster occured, and too complicated for you to comprehend. Do you still want to know?'

    Kuki bit on her thumb, then she shrugged. "I dunno."

    'You seem to be taking things quite well today. I assumed it'd take you much longer to recover from Mew's tragedy,' Celebi said suddenly, making Kuki raise her brows in surprise.

    Kuki bit her lip, holding her arm as she looked at the bushes beside the path. "I don't know either. Ever since that dream last night, ever since I saw Mew again, It's like all my bad feelings were taken away." She placed her palm on her chest, furrowing her brows as she continued, "Well... most of them. I still feel sad about what happened, and I'm unsure of what to do even now. Mew told me to find happiness… but I don't know how I'm really supposed to do that," she said, ending her sentence in a long sigh.

    'Well I can't assist you in that. I may be able to provide you the means to survive on your own, but that's as far as I can go for you,' said Celebi, giving Kuki a shrug.

    Kuki pouted her face, groaning. "Those are quite some encouraging words, Onion Fairy."

    'We're here,' Celebi said as they arrived at what appeared to be an untouched area with worn down stone statues and blooming flowers.

    What struck Kuki about the meadow was the enormous turquoise plate attached to the gate, which was embedded with carvings depicting two mystical dragon pokemon. Accompanying the carvings were symbols Kuki couldn't recognize; they looked like alphabets with eyes in them.

    Kuki trotted into the meadow, climbing over one of the broken statues to get a better look at the gate's adornments. "Wow! What are these markings? Are they telling some kind of story?" Kuki asked, her eyes gleaming as she studied the gate.

    'Yes. They tell the story of two pokemon who represented conflicting, yet intertwining concepts.' Celebi said as she hovered to the base of the markings. With a single touch, markings on the turquoise plate lit up.

    The ground rumbled as the large stone doors slid open, granting them entry inside. What Kuki saw behind the gate made her gasp in awe. Inside was a vast sanctuary built on a platform at the center of a deep hole.

    A bridge connected the sanctuary to them, but looking closer, Kuki discovered that portions of the bridge had broken off, leading to several gaps and unstable looking platforms. Kuki's heart thumped as she tried to figure out whether it was safe to cross.

    When the girl peeked over the side of the bridge, she promptly leapt back. The thought of falling down into the foreboding fog beneath them rattled her bones.

    Wait, what am I so afraid of? I can just fly over the bridge so I won't fall! Kuki thought, but another peep over the bridge and she realized something… Nope! If I try to fly over, I'm just going to freak out and fall in!

    'Are you done idling around?' Celebi asked with a bored expression.

    Kuki jumped in place, throwing Celebi a nervous look. "Ah, y-yeah, sure!"

    'Good. It'll take approximately six months or more for me to teach you how to use all of your abilities efficiently. Are you prepared?' Celebi asked.

    Kuki stood to admire her surroundings for a few seconds more, then muttered, "No..."

    'No?' Celebi asked with a head tilt.

    "I can't cross the bridge… I'm scared…"

    Celebi sighed as she shook her head. 'Revert back to your true form and I'll lift you over myself.'

    Kuki groaned as she shrunk down in size. Having done that, Celebi proceeded to raise her up telekinetically, and they began to make their way to the other side. Being carried without the aid of her own psionic power made Kuki uneasy, but she was going to choose that over her newfound fear of heights any day.

    Once they'd reached the other side, Celebi set Kuki on the ground, then turned to ask, 'Are you ready now?'

    Kuki stared back at the bride for a few seconds more. She then turned to Celebi and nodded. "As ready as I'll ever be."

    'Splendid. Now follow me. We have work to do.'
  14. Starlight Aurate

    Starlight Aurate Just a fallen star

    Hi! I'm here for the review game :) This sounds like a cute story you've got going on! I have never read the original version, so I don't have anything to compare it to. I just read chapter 1 and decided to pull up anything that caught my attention.

    Missed the space between "you" and "come."

    This poor cashier cannot catch a break.

    And the scene where Mew and Kuki play together is really cute :)

    This sentence is fairly repetitive, as you have "thoughts" in it twice. Maybe something along the lines of "constantly thinking about where they could go..."?

    Missinsg a space after "water,".

    Also uuughhhh coughing up blood is no bueno >_< Poor girl.

    Capitalized "She" should be lowercase.

    :'( Nooooo

    This passage makes me realize how scary it can be to have a Pokemon as powerful as Mew around, especially as Mew decided to take Kuki in because raising a person would be "fun"--even though she gave in and decided to not take the dying girl to the hospital just because Kuki didn't want to go. Makes me realize that though Mew may have the best intentions, she doesn't always know what's best.

    I would totally picture Ho-Oh having an elegant, refined voice--kinda like Lugia's from Pokemon the Movie 2000, but not so deep or gravelly.

    Forgot to capitalize the second "o" on "Ho-oh."
    You also keep spelling it this way later on; it's best to generally stick to one spelling to stay consistent.

    Aaah Mew is so naive. I believe that Kuki would be a good girl too, but Mew has also raised her to steal so that they don't have to deal with humans; and seeing as how the way Mew raised Kuki led to Mew not taking her to the hospital even though she needed it, I wouldn't say that the girl has gotten the best parenting.

    I'm pretty sure that "o" should be capitalized when addressing someone, as in this case.

    Awww that was really sad but cute!

    And that ending... woah. It makes sense that every Pokemon would notice Mew's disappearance; I won'er what Mewtwo will do now that Mew isn't around.

    Overall, I like your story! It's a sad but cute telling, and I'm always interested in seeing how people interpret legendary Pokemon. The chapter did have a bit of a fast pace, as Negrek noted earlier, but I think that it works out fine, as you're bringing us right to the plot of Kuki reviving as Mew. It might come at the cost of us feeling some empathy for the characters, but I think it works out all right.

    All in all, good job! :)
    DreamSayer likes this.
  15. DeliriousAbsol

    DeliriousAbsol Call me Del

    Chapter 2

    Wow, it's been so long since I read the first chapter I'd forgotten it was for the re-write! I'll try to catch up.

    This is a cute chapter. I don't think I'd cottoned on that Kuki's mew form had some of her human traits such as her hair.

    Argh the feels!

    Trying to use her new powers was amusing, and getting fed up with the ball 'not obeying her'. You can really tell she's a child.

    There are some issues with going back and forth between past and present tense:

    This, for example, should be 'knew' to fit in with the rest of the sentence.

    Overall, your writing really has improved a lot.

    Some typos I've pulled out:

    Missing 'from'

    Missing 'to'

    Chapter 3

    Pretty action-packed chapter! Kuki's reaction was very believable. The battle between Suicune and Mewtwo was pretty intense, too. And clever, on Mewtwo's part, to find the water source and give Suicune a handicap! I liked that.

    Mewtwo is pretty dang threatening. I dread to think what he's going to do later on!

    Some typos:

    Extra word


    Missing 'his'

    Chapter 4

    Ah, I remember this chapter. The Lotus Prince makes sense now, having read about him in context in previous chapters.

    I should have mentioned this earlier, but I do like your descriptions. They're nice and vivid. Kuki's struggles are also realistic. Of course she's not going to know how to walk as a mew given Mew's form is dramatically different, and this is done well. Also, I'm now aware she'd transformed earlier on and that's why she had long hair XD I guess I'd not read it right. The poor girl though =(

    I'm not sure if Celebi is unfeeling or just deadpan. I wasn't expecting Kuki to develop a sudden attachment to her. I'd forgotten that.

    This sentence reads a little awkward

    The closing speech marks don't match the opening ones.

    Chapter 5

    I'm not sure Kuki would have decided to stop crying? Given the circumstances, it's not really a choice. Maybe change it to '… when Kuki finally stopped crying'?

    The dream was sweet. Kuki took being kidnapped by Mew rather well, I have to say. Mew's guilt over that makes her sacrifice even more dramatic. I suppose given Kuki doesn't remember her real parents, and Mew raised her lovingly, the revelation is more of an unexpected shock than a 'how dare you!' moment. Will she ever meet her real parents? Hmm...

    I like the description of the strange time-warped area. At first I thought Celebi might have had something to do with that. I wonder if the explanation will ever come?

    Hopefully Kuki will get a grasp on her new powers soon... before Mewtwo finds her!

    Some typos:

    This thought-speech isn't italicised.

    'These things' or 'this stuff'?

    This sentence reads awkwardly, as if there's extra words or some are missing?

    Extra word

    DreamSayer likes this.
  16. Chibi Pika

    Chibi Pika Stay positive

    heyyy, finally dropping in with a review for this~

    I actually really like the dream that Kuki had with Mew. I know it was all Celebi's doing, but given that Celebi isn't really known for dreams/hypnosis/ect, I like to think of it as her using time shenanigans to actually convey Mew's wishes to Kuki. At least that's how I like to see it. =P Either way, it was touching.

    I'm also quite fond of Celebi's personality, I think you struck a good balance of the "cold pragmatist" without going too far overboard and making her a straight up villain. She still wants to help, but for practical reasons rather than emotional ones. It's an interesting take on her character and one I'm looking forward to seeing in future chapters. And of course, I'm looking forward to Kuki learning to come into her own and become a proper Mew. Until next time~

    DreamSayer likes this.
  17. DreamSayer

    DreamSayer Name's Adam.

    Hey, i can't believe i'm only just now responding to this even though i left a like on it lol. I'm glad you liked that chapter and Celebi's personality. I'm still in the process of polishing and revealing Celebi's true intentions and goals, so, stay tuned!

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