Negrek
Lost but Seeking
This is a cute idea. I don't think I've seen a story where a character is resurrected in Mew-form before, and the fact that his primary pokémon companion is Mew is also neat; usually in legendary-resurrection 'fics the legendary faffs off somewhere after doing the resurrecting, or maybe gives the protagonist some kind of quest. There isn't much interaction between the legendary and the resurectee, in any case. It's also neat to have a pokémon of the same species there to coach Geo on how to use his new abilities; usually in TF stories the transformee is on their own or only has members of other species to turn to for help.
It's obvious that the relationship between Mew and Geo is what's most important to you about the story; it definitely forms the heart of the 'fic. You have a lot of nice scenes between the two of them, like the one where they're playing hide and seek (before **** hits the fan, obviously). I expect plenty of adorable moments in the future.
The thing is, though, at the moment I can't really tell where this story is headed outside cute moments with Geo and Mew. Things happen in it, definitely, but there's no sign of an overarching story, a framework that's going to tie the series of events going on into an overall plot.
As it is, the chapters are mostly self-contained, and any of the issues resolved in them are addressed rapidly, without having a real effect on the characters. Geo spends a while learning how to fly, and then he more or less learns how to fly, and that's over. Geo goes to find out what happened to his mother, discovers she's dead, is sad for a few seconds, and then is ready to go out cavorting with Mew again. Even the poacher who kicked off Geo's transformation, in a way, vanishes from the story as quickly as he appears and really only exists to make that tree fall on Geo. There isn't a real through-line here, a thread of causality that connects the events. A plot involves a series of events that build on one another: this happens because this other thing happened, which in turn happened because of something else. If there's no "because," the story is just a series of scenes without a plot. The bit with Geo's sister didn't happen because Geo learned how to fly, and only very indirectly because of his run-in with the poacher, so a series of scenes is what I'm seeing right now.
The question is, what does Geo want? He used to want to be a trainer--does he now? Does he want to find out a way to become human again? Something else? It's the characters' desires that give you that "because": she left her house because she wanted to buy milk, she got caught up in the monster attack because she left her house, and so on. So what's going to motivate Geo, what's going to make him go out and do things? That's where your plot comes from.
Now, there's the mention of a mysterious plane landing on Mew's island in the most recent chapter, which is definitely a positive sign that something big is going to be happening soon. The trick is going to be linking it to Geo's character somehow--how does it help or hinder him in getting that thing, whatever that thing is that he wants? Just having some random baddie come in and, idk, burn down the forest on Mew's island or kidnap her or whatever is just another "something happens" that doesn't really have anything to do with what came before and which might be forgotten about again in favor of something new happening. But you could also use it as a way to kick off the real plotline for the 'fic by giving Geo a goal to strive for. For example, if Mew gets kidnapped, maybe his new quest becomes rescuing her, and he has to complete several minor tasks in order to do that. Or maybe encountering this villain makes him decide he wants to use his new powers to protect pokémon from people who want to hurt them, so he needs to do things in order to thwart evil-doers. Obviously you have something planned for what the mystery figure means, and it's probably completely different than either of those things; I'm just giving some examples of how you could use this event to provide some structure and an overarching plot for your story.
Another thing that might help you put together a nice, coherent plotline would really be letting characters react and be affected by the things that happen, even if they're negative. One reason events seem to be fleeting in this story is that the characters often get over things surprisingly quickly. Like, Geo's distressed about turning into a Mew and losing a decade of his life for a few minutes after waking up, but after that he seems to get over it--Mew even has to remind him that he should go and see his mother. Even when his mother turns out to be dead, Geo gets over his grief almost immediately, and then his sister doesn't mind him gallivanting off with Mew again, despite the fact that she hasn't seen him in a decade and he's just shown up as a pokémon. I would kind of think she'd be distraught at the thought of losing him again, or at least would want to catch up with him a bit, or at least have the opportunity to see him regularly. That would be inconvenient for you, the author, since I sense you pretty much want to see Geo hanging out with Mew, not his sister, but that kind of complication makes things more interesting in the long run. It means Geo has to make a choice between pleasing Mew and pleasing his sister, and the choices a character makes are what really reveal who they are as a person. It would also make him a more realistic character, one with genuine emotional responses to what happens to him, and gives you the opportunity to get an actual character arc going, as the emotions Geo's mother's death, for example, kick up might not be able to be resolved in a few paragraphs, or even a few chapters.
Also, while you say the first chapter at least is old and therefore has errors in it, the problem remains even in your most recent chapter. There's a mistake in the very first sentence of Chapter Four, in fact, which definitely doesn't start things off on the right foot. So, proofreading is clearly something you still need to work on. Aside from issues with grammar and punctuation, you have a lot of simple typos in the form of dropped or repeated words, capitaliztion goofs and tense changes. All those mistakes make it difficult to read your work and understand what's going on, and spending a bit of extra time to fix them can really help people appreciate the underlying story. If you're already reading your chapters through and not spotting these sorts of problems, I would suggest reading them aloud to yourself; missing words, for example, are a lot easier to notice when you're trying to speak a sentence than when you're skimming it with your eyes.
All in all, I'd say you have a good premise and some characters you obviously care about and whose relationship you want to explore. The only question is where you intend to go with those things. The strong point of the story so far is Mew and Geo's relationship, so how are you going to evolve it over the course of the story? How is Geo going to be changed by his time as a Mew? How will the dynamic between him and Mew change now that they're both powerful pokémon? Those are the sorts of questions that will help you find a real strong central thread to organize the story around. You're off to a good start; good luck with your writing!
It's obvious that the relationship between Mew and Geo is what's most important to you about the story; it definitely forms the heart of the 'fic. You have a lot of nice scenes between the two of them, like the one where they're playing hide and seek (before **** hits the fan, obviously). I expect plenty of adorable moments in the future.
The thing is, though, at the moment I can't really tell where this story is headed outside cute moments with Geo and Mew. Things happen in it, definitely, but there's no sign of an overarching story, a framework that's going to tie the series of events going on into an overall plot.
As it is, the chapters are mostly self-contained, and any of the issues resolved in them are addressed rapidly, without having a real effect on the characters. Geo spends a while learning how to fly, and then he more or less learns how to fly, and that's over. Geo goes to find out what happened to his mother, discovers she's dead, is sad for a few seconds, and then is ready to go out cavorting with Mew again. Even the poacher who kicked off Geo's transformation, in a way, vanishes from the story as quickly as he appears and really only exists to make that tree fall on Geo. There isn't a real through-line here, a thread of causality that connects the events. A plot involves a series of events that build on one another: this happens because this other thing happened, which in turn happened because of something else. If there's no "because," the story is just a series of scenes without a plot. The bit with Geo's sister didn't happen because Geo learned how to fly, and only very indirectly because of his run-in with the poacher, so a series of scenes is what I'm seeing right now.
The question is, what does Geo want? He used to want to be a trainer--does he now? Does he want to find out a way to become human again? Something else? It's the characters' desires that give you that "because": she left her house because she wanted to buy milk, she got caught up in the monster attack because she left her house, and so on. So what's going to motivate Geo, what's going to make him go out and do things? That's where your plot comes from.
Now, there's the mention of a mysterious plane landing on Mew's island in the most recent chapter, which is definitely a positive sign that something big is going to be happening soon. The trick is going to be linking it to Geo's character somehow--how does it help or hinder him in getting that thing, whatever that thing is that he wants? Just having some random baddie come in and, idk, burn down the forest on Mew's island or kidnap her or whatever is just another "something happens" that doesn't really have anything to do with what came before and which might be forgotten about again in favor of something new happening. But you could also use it as a way to kick off the real plotline for the 'fic by giving Geo a goal to strive for. For example, if Mew gets kidnapped, maybe his new quest becomes rescuing her, and he has to complete several minor tasks in order to do that. Or maybe encountering this villain makes him decide he wants to use his new powers to protect pokémon from people who want to hurt them, so he needs to do things in order to thwart evil-doers. Obviously you have something planned for what the mystery figure means, and it's probably completely different than either of those things; I'm just giving some examples of how you could use this event to provide some structure and an overarching plot for your story.
Another thing that might help you put together a nice, coherent plotline would really be letting characters react and be affected by the things that happen, even if they're negative. One reason events seem to be fleeting in this story is that the characters often get over things surprisingly quickly. Like, Geo's distressed about turning into a Mew and losing a decade of his life for a few minutes after waking up, but after that he seems to get over it--Mew even has to remind him that he should go and see his mother. Even when his mother turns out to be dead, Geo gets over his grief almost immediately, and then his sister doesn't mind him gallivanting off with Mew again, despite the fact that she hasn't seen him in a decade and he's just shown up as a pokémon. I would kind of think she'd be distraught at the thought of losing him again, or at least would want to catch up with him a bit, or at least have the opportunity to see him regularly. That would be inconvenient for you, the author, since I sense you pretty much want to see Geo hanging out with Mew, not his sister, but that kind of complication makes things more interesting in the long run. It means Geo has to make a choice between pleasing Mew and pleasing his sister, and the choices a character makes are what really reveal who they are as a person. It would also make him a more realistic character, one with genuine emotional responses to what happens to him, and gives you the opportunity to get an actual character arc going, as the emotions Geo's mother's death, for example, kick up might not be able to be resolved in a few paragraphs, or even a few chapters.
Also, while you say the first chapter at least is old and therefore has errors in it, the problem remains even in your most recent chapter. There's a mistake in the very first sentence of Chapter Four, in fact, which definitely doesn't start things off on the right foot. So, proofreading is clearly something you still need to work on. Aside from issues with grammar and punctuation, you have a lot of simple typos in the form of dropped or repeated words, capitaliztion goofs and tense changes. All those mistakes make it difficult to read your work and understand what's going on, and spending a bit of extra time to fix them can really help people appreciate the underlying story. If you're already reading your chapters through and not spotting these sorts of problems, I would suggest reading them aloud to yourself; missing words, for example, are a lot easier to notice when you're trying to speak a sentence than when you're skimming it with your eyes.
All in all, I'd say you have a good premise and some characters you obviously care about and whose relationship you want to explore. The only question is where you intend to go with those things. The strong point of the story so far is Mew and Geo's relationship, so how are you going to evolve it over the course of the story? How is Geo going to be changed by his time as a Mew? How will the dynamic between him and Mew change now that they're both powerful pokémon? Those are the sorts of questions that will help you find a real strong central thread to organize the story around. You're off to a good start; good luck with your writing!
