A Pokemon Journey will come - In Time!

[Silent Conversation]

A Pokemon Journey Will Come –
In Time​

Chapter 1: The Pikachu Castle

Ah, the pokemon world. A very interesting world indeed. You already know of four regions: Kanto, Johto, Hoenn, and Orre. But have you ever heard of the region called Reto?

Yes, Reto was a very gifted region; the pokemon there had no trainers and could talk English! Also, in the very center of the region, lay a gigantic castle.

This castle was called Pikachu Castle. In this castle lived King Pikachu. King Pikachu was a very nice king. He was nice to all pokemon in Reto, and never started wars with the other regions.

“King Pikachu, we have a very urgent announcement” Mrs. Chansey said to King Pikachu one day.
“Well, tell me the message!” said King Pikachu.
“Well, the region of Kanto is trying to take over Reto” Mrs. Chansey explained to King Pikachu.
“What!? But we have always been kind to them!” said King Pikachu.
“I know that, but, well, I think they’re jealous of the fact that our region has talking pokemon” Mrs. Chansey explained.
“I see. If you will, Mrs. Chansey, please bring in Mr. Charizard and Little Charmander” requested King Pikachu.
“Okay! Anything for you, sire!” replied Mrs. Chansey as she left the throne room.

About 10 minutes later, Mrs. Chansey returned with Mr. Charizard and Little Charmander.
“Why did you bring us in, sire?” Mr. Charizard asked King Pikachu.
“Do you know any reason why Kanto wants to take over Reto?” King Pikachu asked Mr. Charizard.
“No idea” replied Mr. Charizard.
“I know why” said Little Charmander.
“Well, tell me!” requested King Pikachu.
“Actually, it’s not Kanto that wants to take over Reto. It’s this tiny forest named Seedot Forest. Their King Shiftry wants to take over” explained Little Charmander.

Suddenly, the doors of the throne room opened and a Dragonite appeared.
“Hello, Messenger Dragonite, what brings you here today?” asked King Pikachu.
“Well, sire, while I was going to the mail room to deliver your daily mail, I saw Prince Pichu crying” explained Messenger Dragonite.
“This is terrible!” shouted King Pikachu.
“Mrs. Chansey, will you please get Prince Pichu?”
“Yes, sire” replied Mrs. Chansey as she left the throne room.

A few minutes later, Mrs. Chansey returned carrying a crying Prince Pichu.
“What happened, son?” King Pikachu asked Prince Pichu.
“Well, Mr. Walrein came and said that Spheal had to leave” explained Prince Pichu.
“I see…” said King Pikachu.
“I’m very sorry, Mrs. Chansey, but can you please go out again to get Baby Togepi?” King Pikachu asked Mrs. Chansey.
“It’s okay” replied Mrs. Chansey, as she left the throne room for the third time.

When Mrs. Chansey returned, she had no Togepi and looked very worried.
“What happened?” King Pikachu asked Mrs. Chansey.
“The Seedot from Seedot Forest are here, and they’re destroying the castle!” shouted Mrs. Chansey.

 

[Pinecone Tortoise]

Heya!

Whoah, you've got a LOT of originality here! I can't remember the last time I saw something like this. However, there were a few points that left me a little confused/surprised.

For example, the way the characters refer to each other as 'Mr/Mrs/Messenger *insert pokemon name here* seems a little stilted. I'm assuming that at least some of these characters know each other well, right? Wouldn't they have nicknames for each other? *shrug* Mebbe not. Might just be the culture of the Reto region. Meh, whatever the reasons for this, at least you don't have to refer to them like that. Perhaps you could refer to the character by personality/appearance? As in, instead of saying "replied Mrs. Chansey as she left the throne room", you might put something along the lines of "the portly pink pokemon answered dutifully as she bustled out of the room". That's just a spur of the moment alternative, but it gives you the idea of what I'm talking about, right? It saves you from having to say 'Mrs. Chansey' everytime you want to refer to that character. Of course, if you're wanting to do it you way, go right ahead, but I'd advise caution in not letting your story sound stilted to read. ^^

Another point is that until I read "Suddenly, the doors of the throne room opened and a Dragonite appeared", I didn't know if the characters were humans who for some reason were named 'Pikachu' and 'Little Charmander' and so forth or whether they were actual pokemon. As much as I loathe encouraging appearance description (because a lot of writers seem to focus on appearance when describing and leave out description of atmosphere, emotion and behaviour), I'd tentatively suggest you give your readers a brief idea of what these characters look like. And perhaps this could be done through the way they act? As in,

“Well, tell me the message!” said King Pikachu, drumming his stubby, yellow fingers on the arm of his throne and letting his jagged tail swing impatiently behind him.

The bolded part is just to give you an idea of what I'm talking about.

Another topic - formatting. The convention around here is that speech is separated from the rest of the text.

"Use double spacing to separate speech from the rest of the text like this," said the reviewer.

And on the topic of formatting, don't use words instead of numbers - write the word out! (Eg: use 'ten' instead of '10'.)

Anyway, I hope this helps you a bit! ^^ You've got an amazingly original start here. The atmosphere and characters are sweet and memorable, if somewhat in need of fleshing out at the moment (well, this IS only the prologue/first chapter). Don't let this lovely start go to waste - put it to good use! Good luck and fun to you!

Piney.
;204;;324;

 

[Silent Conversation]

!!

Heya!

Whoah, you've got a LOT of originality here! I can't remember the last time I saw something like this. However, there were a few points that left me a little confused/surprised.

For example, the way the characters refer to each other as 'Mr/Mrs/Messenger *insert pokemon name here* seems a little stilted. I'm assuming that at least some of these characters know each other well, right? Wouldn't they have nicknames for each other? *shrug* Mebbe not. Might just be the culture of the Reto region. Meh, whatever the reasons for this, at least you don't have to refer to them like that. Perhaps you could refer to the character by personality/appearance? As in, instead of saying "replied Mrs. Chansey as she left the throne room", you might put something along the lines of "the portly pink pokemon answered dutifully as she bustled out of the room". That's just a spur of the moment alternative, but it gives you the idea of what I'm talking about, right? It saves you from having to say 'Mrs. Chansey' everytime you want to refer to that character. Of course, if you're wanting to do it you way, go right ahead, but I'd advise caution in not letting your story sound stilted to read. ^^

Another point is that until I read "Suddenly, the doors of the throne room opened and a Dragonite appeared", I didn't know if the characters were humans who for some reason were named 'Pikachu' and 'Little Charmander' and so forth or whether they were actual pokemon. As much as I loathe encouraging appearance description (because a lot of writers seem to focus on appearance when describing and leave out description of atmosphere, emotion and behaviour), I'd tentatively suggest you give your readers a brief idea of what these characters look like. And perhaps this could be done through the way they act? As in,



The bolded part is just to give you an idea of what I'm talking about.

Another topic - formatting. The convention around here is that speech is separated from the rest of the text.

"Use double spacing to separate speech from the rest of the text like this," said the reviewer.

And on the topic of formatting, don't use words instead of numbers - write the word out! (Eg: use 'ten' instead of '10'.)

Anyway, I hope this helps you a bit! ^^ You've got an amazingly original start here. The atmosphere and characters are sweet and memorable, if somewhat in need of fleshing out at the moment (well, this IS only the prologue/first chapter). Don't let this lovely start go to waste - put it to good use! Good luck and fun to you!

Piney.
;204;;324;

Thank you very much for all the advice! I will try to follow it and I'll try to make my story better next time!

 

[Silent Conversation]

Here is Chapter 2 of my story.



Chapter 2: The Mysterious Clock

“Are you serious?” King Pikachu asked Mrs. Chansey.
“Yes!” replied Mrs. Chansey.

Suddenly, Seedot started swarming into the throne room.
“Oh my gosh!” shouted King Pikachu. Then, Seedot started surrounding Mrs. Chansey.
“No! What are you doing to me?” cried Mrs. Chansey. But it was too late; the Seedot had taken Mrs. Chansey away.

At that very moment, a Slakoth came into the throne room.
“Hello, Sleepy Slakoth. What brings you here today?” King Pikachu asked the Slakoth.
“Oh, nothing important, sire. I just wanted to give you my alarm clock. It seems to be acting strange” said Sleepy Slakoth.
“I’ll give it to Professor Alakazam” said King Pikachu, as he took the clock from Sleepy Slakoth.

Suddenly, more Seedot came! They started surrounding Sleepy Slakoth.
“What are you nasty things doing to me!?” cried Sleepy Slakoth.

Then, Little Charmander ran right to where the Seedot were!
“Don’t you dare attack that Slakoth!” shouted Little Charmander.
“Seedot! Seedot!” cried the Seedot.
“Flamethrower Attack!” shouted Little Charmander, as a giant blast of fire shot from Little Charmander’s mouth. And all the Seedot got blasted away.

Then, something amazing happened! Little Charmander started to glow! It grew bigger and bigger and bigger, and when Little Charmander stopped glowing, he was a Charmeleon!

“Wow, you’ve evolved!” said Mr. Charizard.
“Now, we’ll call you: Char – ific Charmeleon!” announced King Pikachu.
“Thanks sire!” said Char – ific Charmeleon.

“Mr. Charizard and Char – ific Charmeleon, you may leave” said King Pikachu.
“Okay sire!” said Mr. Charizard as he and his son left the throne room.

“Wow, I wish I had time to thank Char – ific Charmeleon for saving me” said Sleepy Slakoth.
“Now, I’ll go call Professor Alakazam to examine that odd clock of ours” King Pikachu said to Sleepy Slakoth.
“Okay sire!” said Sleepy Slakoth as he left the throne room also.

“Dad, can I go check what’s going on outside? You know, to see what the Seedot are doing?” Prince Pichu asked his dad.
“It’s too dangerous for you to go all by yourself. I’ll go outside with you, and if there’s no Seedot’s, you can come with me to give that clock to Professor Alakazam” explained King Pikachu.
“Okay, dad!” said Prince Pichu.
Then, King Pikachu and Prince Pichu left the throne room.

“Here son, you can hold the clock” said King Pikachu to Prince Pichu once the two of them had gotten outside.
“Okay, dad!” said Prince Pichu.

Suddenly, King Pikachu and Prince Pichu heard big footsteps. When they turned around, they saw King Shiftry.

“You!” cried King Pikachu.
“Shiftry! Shiftry!” shouted King Shiftry, although it didn’t look like King Shiftry was looking at King Pikachu.

Suddenly, around one hundred Seedot came! They all surrounded King Pikachu and took off with him.
“No! Dad!” cried Prince Pichu, but the Seedot had already taken King Pikachu away.

“Shiftry!” said King Shiftry, pushing Prince Pichu onto the ground, making Prince Pichu drop the clock.

Then, the clock started shaking like mad! Then, a big beam appeared between the antennas (or whatever those sticks on top of an alarm clock are) of the clock. Then, the beam started getting bigger. It turned into a hole. Suddenly, King Shiftry pushed Prince Pichu into the hole and Prince Pichu screamed as he fell into a mysterious hole.

 

[Silent Conversation]

Here is Chapter 3 of my story.

Chapter 3: Reto’s Past

“Where am I?” thought Prince Pichu once he had fallen to the bottom of the hole.

The place that Prince Pichu was in looked oddly familiar. Then, Prince Pichu looked around and saw a big group of pokemon in a circle.

“This meeting has been assembled to confirm the construction of Pichu Castle” said a Machoke.
“Pichu Castle? I thought that was called Pikachu Castle and it was already built. This is very confusing” thought Prince Pichu.

“Thank you, Constructer Machoke, for offering to build my own castle” said a very familiar voice. Prince Pichu snuck into the circle and saw that he was looking at himself!

“Is there some kind of mirror here? That’s me!” thought Prince Pichu. But there was no mirror. Prince Pichu was looking at his own self!

Suddenly, something started falling from the sky! It was Professor Alakazam.

“Professor Alakazam! Hoe did you get here?” Prince Pichu asked Professor Alakazam.
“I have my own ways” replied Professor Alakazam.
“Professor, something very weird is going on. I think I’m looking at myself!” said Prince Pichu as he pointed to the other Pichu.
“Technically, you are not looking at yourself. You are looking at your father’s past” explained Professor Alakazam.
“But that’s impossible!” said Prince Pichu.
“You see, when you fell through the clock hole, you fell through a time hole. Now you are stuck in the past” explained Professor Alakazam.
“I’m confused” said Prince Pichu.

Suddenly, the past Prince Pichu turned around and then he saw the present Prince Pichu.
“Oh my gosh! I’m looking at myself!” shouted the past Prince Pichu.
“No you’re not! I’m your son!” explained the present Prince Pichu.
“But I don’t have a son! I’m just a kid!” explained the past Prince Pichu.
“You are going to be my father!” explained the present Prince Pichu.
“GOING TO BE YOUR FATHER!? What in the world do you mean!?” the past Prince Pichu asked the present Prince Pichu.
“Come with me, and I’ll explain everything” said Professor Alakazam.

Both prince Pichu’s followed Professor Alakazam to a small little hut.
“This is your house?” the present Prince Pichu asked Professor Alakazam.
“It was – in the past” replied Professor Alakazam.
“I’m still confused” said the past Prince Pichu.
“Listen to me. I am from the future. From where I come from, you are King Pikachu and I’m your son” the present Prince Pichu explained to the past Prince Pichu.
“I understand now” said the past Prince Pichu.

So both prince Pichu’s talked about what their lives are about for what seemed like hours. Finally, Professor Alakazam interrupted.
“I just have one question” said Professor Alakazam. “How do we get out of here?”

 

[Silent Conversation]

Here is chapter 4 of my story.

Chapter 4: The Nuzleaf Squad

“I really don’t know” replied the present Prince Pichu.

“Want me to show you around Reto in my time?” the past Prince Pichu asked the present Prince Pichu and Professor Alakazam.
“Sure!” replied Professor Alakazam as he and both Prince Pichu’s left the hut.

“Do you by any chance know, Little Charmander?” asked the past Prince Pichu.
“Yes. In our time, he is Mr. Charizard, has gotten a son named Little Charmander, and the present Little Charmander just recently evolved into Char – ific Charmeleon” replied Professor Alakazam.
“Interesting” said the past Prince Pichu.

All 3 pokemon kept on walking until they arrived at a giant house.
“Wow, who lives there?” the present Prince Pichu asked the past Prince Pichu.
“Nobody anymore” replied the past Prince Pichu.

Suddenly, the door opened from the giant house and out came 5 Nuzleaf. Each Nuzleaf had a different colour leaf.

“So, who are we looking for again?” the Nuzleaf with the red leaf was asking the other 4.
“Prince Pichu” replied the Nuzleaf with the green leaf.
Suddenly, the 5 Nuzleaf’s turned around and saw both Prince Pichu’s and Professor Alakazam.
“There they are!” shouted the Nuzleaf with the blue leaf.
“The boss told us that there was only 1 pokemon to catch, not 3” said the Nuzleaf with the yellow leaf.

Then, all 5 Nuzleaf’s started surrounding the Prince Pichu’s and Professor Alakazam.

Suddenly, Professor Alakazam started to fade.
“Oh great” sighed Professor Alakazam as he disappeared.

“What happened to him?” the past Prince Pichu asked the present Prince Pichu.
“No idea” replied the present Prince Pichu.

“Hey, that’s great! Now there’s only two little Pichu’s to deal with!” shouted the Nuzleaf with the orange leaf.
“Who are you, anyway?” asked the present Prince Pichu.
“We are….” said the Nuzleaf with the green leaf.
“…the…” said the Nuzleaf with the blue leaf.
“…Nuzleaf…” said the Nuzleaf with the red leaf.
“…SUAD!!!” said the Nuzleaf’s with yellow and orange leaves.
“Okay then” said the past Prince Pichu.

“We are working for our boss, King Shiftry” said the Nuzleaf with the green leaf.
“King Shiftry!? That means you’re from my time!” shouted the present Prince Pichu.
“That’s right!” said the Nuzleaf with the orange leaf.
“And by order of King Shiftry…” started the Nuzleaf with the yellow leaf.
“…we have come to the past…” continued the Nuzleaf with the blue leaf.
“…to battle and defeat you!!” finished the Nuzleaf with the red leaf.

The present Prince Pichu gulped. “This isn’t going to be good”

 

[umbreon43085]

Everything was origional except for the multi-color nuzleaf. Came from the two gamecube PKMN RPGs

 

[Pinecone Tortoise]

Whoah, this plot gets more and more bizarre by the chapter!! Originality you have aplenty, friend! ^^ This story is SO different to pretty much everything else on the forums... and yet something about it I like. I think in some ways it reminds me of a children's picture book - the fact that everyone calls everyone else by their full names like 'Sleepy Slakoth' and 'Mr. Charizard' helps that effect. Also, the action occurs very simply and the characters are easily recogniseable and categorized... but for some odd reason I LIKE that about this story. ^^;;

Eh, I say keep up the good work! Your story is brilliantly sweet and cute but not at all tame! Awesome. Just remember to lengthen your chapters so that this doesn't break the rules and get closed. According to the rules, a chapter must be at least a page in Word so if you type your stuff up in Word, you can tell instantly if it's meeting the criteria. ^^ Good luck and fun to you!

Piney.
;204;;324;

 

[Silent Conversation]

Whoah, this plot gets more and more bizarre by the chapter!! Originality you have aplenty, friend! ^^ This story is SO different to pretty much everything else on the forums... and yet something about it I like. I think in some ways it reminds me of a children's picture book - the fact that everyone calls everyone else by their full names like 'Sleepy Slakoth' and 'Mr. Charizard' helps that effect. Also, the action occurs very simply and the characters are easily recogniseable and categorized... but for some odd reason I LIKE that about this story. ^^;;

Eh, I say keep up the good work! Your story is brilliantly sweet and cute but not at all tame! Awesome. Just remember to lengthen your chapters so that this doesn't break the rules and get closed. According to the rules, a chapter must be at least a page in Word so if you type your stuff up in Word, you can tell instantly if it's meeting the criteria. ^^ Good luck and fun to you!

Piney.
;204;;324;

Thank you very much for the EXCELLENT review you gave me for my first 4 chapters and I will try to make my chapters longer.

 

[umbreon43085]

I have a question - Where did you get the idea for this story? Not critisising you. I've just seen this plot in a somewhat new nintendo game.

Spacing - Spacing between paragraphs and speakers is excellent.
Detail - Detail is at a minimum. I have to tell you that I dont have a clue what anybody looks like. Apart from my understanding of the mideval times.
Length - Well, about that, it overall needs to be longer. I dont mind proofreading it for you as well as checking how long it is. Think about it. I'll tell you if it needs to be longer. Dont try to hard though, because your story will look rushed. Noone likes a rushed story. I know from experience.
Plot - I like your tecnuique (Sp?) You draw readers in with cliffhangers and stuff like that. You also dont give away mush of the ending. Though, if you did get this plot from Mario and Luigi: Partners in Time, Everybody including myself who has the game is gonna know the ending.
Overall - This fic I would give a 7.5/10 Only because of the bad points such as length and Detail.

 

[Silent Conversation]

I have a question - Where did you get the idea for this story? Not critisising you. I've just seen this plot in a somewhat new nintendo game.

Spacing - Spacing between paragraphs and speakers is excellent.
Detail - Detail is at a minimum. I have to tell you that I dont have a clue what anybody looks like. Apart from my understanding of the mideval times.
Length - Well, about that, it overall needs to be longer. I dont mind proofreading it for you as well as checking how long it is. Think about it. I'll tell you if it needs to be longer. Dont try to hard though, because your story will look rushed. Noone likes a rushed story. I know from experience.
Plot - I like your tecnuique (Sp?) You draw readers in with cliffhangers and stuff like that. You also dont give away mush of the ending. Though, if you did get this plot from Mario and Luigi: Partners in Time, Everybody including myself who has the game is gonna know the ending.
Overall - This fic I would give a 7.5/10 Only because of the bad points such as length and Detail.

I did get the plot idea from "Mario and Luigi: Partners in Time" but i don't know yet, the ending might be different (since I haven't beat the game in Mario and Luigi: Partners in Time)

 

[crobatconey/leafeon lunatic]

Its a pretty good story but wouldnt it be easier to give them real names names? For example: instead of saying Mr. Charizard they could call him "Mr. Benyeltal" or something like that. What I'm trying to say is that do regular people go up to people and say "hi bold human" or "hi professer human." It would save a lot of typing if u just gave them names.

 

[Silent Conversation]

Its a pretty good story but wouldnt it be easier to give them real names names? For example: instead of saying Mr. Charizard they could call him "Mr. Benyeltal" or something like that. What I'm trying to say is that do regular people go up to people and say "hi bold human" or "hi professer human." It would save a lot of typing if u just gave them names.

The reason i said "mrs Chansey'' or "mr Charizard" is beacuse i don't want anyone to be confused

 

[umbreon43085]

It does make up somewhat for lack of discription. All I'm saying about that is that I dont know if prince pichu wears a scarf or if Mr. Charizard wears Spider-Man tights.

 

[Silent Conversation]

It does make up somewhat for lack of discription. All I'm saying about that is that I dont know if prince pichu wears a scarf or if Mr. Charizard wears Spider-Man tights.

I know that i have a lack of description, I've been told that many times but for some reason, in my stories, the discription is not my 1st priority.

 

[crobatconey/leafeon lunatic]

The reason i said "mrs Chansey'' or "mr Charizard" is beacuse i don't want anyone to be confused

But when you first introduced the character why dont you say like "a chancy named Betras came up to king Crisenburg and said:" or something like that.

 

[Silent Conversation]

But when you first introduced the character why dont you say like "a chancy named Betras came up to king Crisenburg and said:" or something like that.

"crobatconey", i know who you are in real life, stop insulting my story

 

[Silent Conversation]

Finally, Chapter 5 is here!

Chapter 5: The Battle Triathlon! (Battle 1, Part 1)

“Before you kill us, I just have one little question” the present Prince Pichu said to the Nuzleaf’s.
“What is it?” asked the Nuzleaf with the green leaf.
“How did you get here and how can you talk English?” asked the present Prince Pichu.
“That’s two questions” said the Nuzleaf with the yellow leaf.
“We’ll answer one” said the Nuzleaf with the blue leaf.
“How did you get here? I mean – in the past?” asked the present Prince Pichu.
“Well, let’s just say that we saw a clock lying around in the present” said the Nuzleaf with the yellow leaf.
“Oh, no! I forgot that I left the clock in the present! But I still want to know how those Nuzleaf’s can speak English…” thought the present Prince Pichu.

“And now… we battle” said the Nuzleaf with the green leaf.

“It will be a double battle – both Prince Pichu’s VS the Green Nuzleaf and the Blue Nuzleaf!” announced the Red Nuzleaf.
“There will be 3 pokemon battles! Whoever wins 2 or 3 battles is the winner!” announced the Yellow Nuzleaf.
“But first, we will be using holo – trainers!” announced the Red Nuzleaf.

“I call on holo – Ash!” commanded the present Prince Pichu.
“I call on holo – Brock!” commanded the past Prince Pichu.
“I call on holo – Jessie!” commanded the Green Nuzleaf.
“I call on holo – James!” commanded the Blue Nuzleaf.

“Battle 1! Start…. now!” announced the Orange Nuzleaf.

“Pichu, use Thunderbolt on the Green Nuzleaf!” commanded the holo – Ash.
“My Pichu, use Thunderbolt on the Blue Nuzleaf!” commanded the holo – Brock.
“Okay!” said both Prince Pichu’s, as an electric blast hurt the Nuzleaf’s.
“Green Nuzleaf, you Razor Leaf on the present Prince Pichu!” commanded the holo – Jessie.
“Red Nuzleaf, use Leaf Blade on the past Prince Pichu!” commanded the holo – James.
“Sure!” said the two Nuzleaf’s. Both Nuzleaf’s shot their attacks at the Pichu’s but both Pichu’s dodged the attacks.
“It won’t be that easy to take us out!” said both Prince Pichu’s.
“My Pichu, use Thunder on Blue Nuzleaf!” commanded the holo – Ash.
“I’ll do anything to beat those freaks!” said the present Prince Pichu, as a huge blast of lightning shot from the present Prince Pichu’s cheeks and hit the Blue Nuzleaf. And the Blue Nuzleaf had fainted.

“Now that a pokemon has fainted, we will change the stadium!” announced the Yellow Nuzleaf.
“You never mentioned that!” shouted the past Prince Pichu.

Suddenly, the grass shook! The grass fell down into the ground. When the grass came back up, there was a giant lake!

“That won’t be so hard” said the present Prince Pichu.

“My Pichu, use Thundershock!” commanded the holo – Ash.
The present Prince Pichu shot out a blast of lighting, but it just went into the water.
“I forgot that the 1st thing lighting hits is water! The Nuzleaf’s changed the stadium to a lake on purpose!” thought the present Prince Pichu.
“Nuzleaf, use leaf Blade on the past Prince Pichu!” commanded the holo – Jessie.
“My Pichu, jump into the water!” commanded holo – Brock and the past Prince Pichu did what he was told.
“Man, this is going to take longer than I thought” said Nuzleaf.

 

[Pinecone Tortoise]

Whee! New chapter!

Anyway, this chapter twas muchly cute. Heh, who'd have thought that pokemon would use holo-trainers to battle. ^^ It's just so random and funny! Eh, anyway, the battle scene was highly entertaining.. though I think I know what's coming next.... ^^ Have to wait and see, I suppose.

Just a question... how come present Prince Pichu is surprised that the Nuzleaf can speak English? Can't all the pokemon speak English? If not, what're they speaking in?

Meh, this is still awesome. It's really got that 'kids' picture book' feel to it... so sweet! I like it a lot. ^^ Just be consistent with your punctuation and don't use numbers instead of letters (ie: use 'first' instead of '1st'). ^^ Very cute and I hope to see the next chapter up soon!

Piney.
;204;;324;

 

[Silent Conversation]

Whee! New chapter!

Anyway, this chapter twas muchly cute. Heh, who'd have thought that pokemon would use holo-trainers to battle. ^^ It's just so random and funny! Eh, anyway, the battle scene was highly entertaining.. though I think I know what's coming next.... ^^ Have to wait and see, I suppose.

Just a question... how come present Prince Pichu is surprised that the Nuzleaf can speak English? Can't all the pokemon speak English? If not, what're they speaking in?

Meh, this is still awesome. It's really got that 'kids' picture book' feel to it... so sweet! I like it a lot. ^^ Just be consistent with your punctuation and don't use numbers instead of letters (ie: use 'first' instead of '1st'). ^^ Very cute and I hope to see the next chapter up soon!

Piney.
;204;;324;

i read your whole review but i want to answer your question: "why is the present Prince Pichu surprised that the Nuzleaf could speak English?"

the answer to that is because only the region of Reto has pokemon that talk English. The Nuzleaf's are working for King Shiftry and the Seedot Forest is in Kanto, where pokemon don't speak English.