A Rose's Thorns (rated PG to PG-13 for language.)

[2bcelebi320]

Before I start typing this, I will let you know right now that I DID NOT WRITE THIS FIC! I just gave ideas, and am posting it, and therefore, by my friend, I get credit. So, I'll quit blabbing and get on with the story.

A ROSE'S THORNS.
Written originally by Tracey Hall, Posted by 2bcelebi320.​

Prologue...

London, England.

Storm clouds hovered over the Devlin family graveyard. The first raindrop hit the young man's cheek, making it appear as though a teardrop fell from the corner of his eyelid and rolled down his face. His baby sister, Jessica Devlin, wiped it away, laying her head on his shoulder.

Lady Jessica had amazing beautiful brown eyes that held so much emotion, that she'd have compassion for the ugliest, most brittle stray dog out on the street. She also had sunshine blonde hair that was so curly, that if you pulled on a strand, it would bounce back into place just like a spring.

Jessica was perhaps the most beautiful woman in London, except perhaps his Sarah. Sarah's smile flashed before him as the first streak of lightning flashed across the sky.

"I'm sorry about Sarah. She didn't deserve to die. Oh, Ridge, I'm so sorry," Jessica told the young man.

The Earl of Deniville was way too prideful for tears. Tears were a sign of weakness, and emotion was for fools. Besides, Sarah Waitt Devlin was a hellcat if there ever was one. He refused to shed a tear over that whore. But, his sweet little Aleain, she didn't deserve to go down with her mother. He should have been there for little Aleain, to protect her from her mother's many lovers and admirers.

The first tears fell for his daughter, not the golden-haired, hazel-eyed enchantress that he didn't want to marry to begin with. Now that Sarah was out of the way, he could marry a woman he could love and cherish forever. He could set his sights on a certain midnight-haired, emerald-eyed angel he had always loved from the start. He settled for Sarah, because his father encouraged the union, and because Sarah had the money and means to bring Deniville to it's highest point in society.

But this time, he didn't need to marry for money. This time, he could marry for love...

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Review and discuss.

 

[FlamingRuby]

Very intriguing...one possible question could be Sarah's past, but I'm not sure if I can glean interview questions from a prologue alone.

 

[2bcelebi320]

Don't worry, there's more to come.

 

[macBad0]

If you were to put up a poll to rank this i would
a.) say this;" now since i read this that is the siznituos(meaning very good)
or
b.)Act like its x-play and give it a 10 out of 5.

 

[2bcelebi320]

Thank you. Now for the first chapter...

Chapter 1: Raven

London, England

He came to her once again, confessing his love and desire for her. Raven gazed up at his ocean blue eyes, and ran her fingers through his honey brown hair. Good Lord, those eyes, they captivated her, using their power to bring her to her knees...

Thorugh chattering teeth, Raven slowly rose to a yelling Lavender Crutchfield, who just got through drenching Raven once again with ice cold water.

"Get up, you lazy nobody. Your chores aren't going to get done themselves, I hope you know. I'm not getting stuck with doing them because you slept past dawn again. GET UP!" Lavender, the Porkster, as Raven liked to call her behind her back, screeched.

Drenched from head to toe in ice cold water, and shivering uncontrollably, Raven reluctantly did as Lavender instructed, and changed out of her night clothes, which was, like the rest of her, soaking wet, and into her working uniform.

"Get to work!" Lavender cried, tossing Raven a mop to clean up the water on the floor.

"You know what, Lavender? You could try doing your own chores yourself, instead of making me do them." Raven shot back. Lavender let out a great snort of laughter, sounding so much like a pig that it wasn't even funny.

"Do you want me to tell Momma that you went against orders and gave your dinner to Ginny, who was supposed to go without dinner as punishment?"

"Okay, Lavender, you win again. But someday, I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog too! Ha ha ha!" Raven replied. Raven loved scaring the crap out of Lavender. Lavender's eyes widened with horror.

"Shut up! Shut up! You wouldn't dare!" Lavender cried, scared to death. Raven, who was brushing her butt length midnight black hair, smiled coyly.

"Maybe I wouldn't, maybe I would. You know I'm not 'normal'. Why else would your mother be so terrified of me? Don't I spend more time on the cellar than anybody else? Don't weird things happen everytime I get scared or upset? Some say the boarding house is haunted, others say that I'm a witch, stirred by Lucifer himself. But who knows?" Raven replied sinisterly. Lavender looked at Raven's reflection in the mirror. The emerald gaze pierced through her own.

"Get moving, Bones. Don't make me tell you twice, and don't think I'm believing that crap about the boarding house being haunted."

"Okay, but I wouldn't say that I didn't believe in ghosts, Lavender. You'll upset the Headless Lady." Raven replied. Lavender gasped and swallowed hard.

"Headless Lady?" Lavender repeated, shaking. Raven took her brush, and jumped on the bed, singing.

Raven hair and ruby lips
Sparks fly from her fingertips
Echoed voices in the night
She's a restless spirit on an endless flight

Ooh, witchy woman
See how high she flies
Ooh, witchy woman
She's got the moon in her eyes...

"SHUT UP! You're just trying to scare me! There's no such things as ghosts!" Lavender cried, backing away slowly. Raven used her telekenesis to make a curtain rustle.

"Turn around, Lavender. the Headless Lady wants your head!" Wide eyed, Lavender turned around.

"Mommy! MOMMY!" Lavender yelled, bolting from the cold damp attic as fast as her little porky legs could carry her. Halfway down the steps, Lavender screeched.

"Bones! RAT! KILL IT, AND KILL IT QUICK!" Laughing, Raven got the broom, walked downstairs, and swung the rat out of the way. She was used to the sight of rats, and they no longer terrified her. Having lived up in an attic for the biggest part of her life, she'd grown accustomed to the rats, just as the rats had her.

"You did that on purpose, didn't you, Bones?" Lavender said, glaring at Raven.

"Oh yeah, Lavender. It's my fault that the boarding house is infested with rats." Raven replied, being sarcastic, then pretended to be afraid. "Oh my God! It's the Headless Lady!!!" Lavender pushed Raven out of the way and ran the rest of the way down the steps.


Raven spent the next two days serving drinks to drunken men and entertaining them. Everything was pretty much the same until two drunks got into an arguement over the services of a prostitute.

Raven had three jobs to maintain in the bar: serving, entertaining, and breaking up bar fights. She jumped in the middle of the two men.

"Hey, hey, break it up. You know the rules. No fights in the bar." Raven told the two men.

"He started it..." One of the men replied.

Raven shot back. "I don't give a damn who started it. I'm finishing it. Now, either you two get along, or you both are going out." The prostitute didn't give up there.

"Hey, honey, why don't you keep your nose out of it..." She told Raven.

"Let me tell you something, dollface. The last time I checked, prostitution was illegal. Don't make me get the athorities involved, because I'm sure they'd take my side on this-" Raven didn't get to finish her sentence, because one of the men forced her on his lap. The prostitute, however, stormed out, furious at the two men, and cursing all the while.
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Review and discuss.

 

[Angelic Elf Ivy]

It may be your friends, but I should still point out errors.

Prologue

making it appear as though a trardrop

Uh change that to teardrop. ^^;;

that she'd have compassion for for the

Take away the repeated for.

Chapter one

who was brushing her but length

In this situation use the butt with two Ts.


Ok. Not many errors at all that I could see. I can tell that a lot of effort was put in this, and I really like it! This is a great story. Tell me when you have new chapters, I'd love to read more. ^^

*~*Ivy*~*

 

[SaltyChi]

Well, since I already read it before it was posted, I like it. It has the makings of a good book. I think that it should be published, but that's my opinion.

 

[2bcelebi320]

Well, due to technical difficulties (a.k.a. problems at home.), I will not be posting further chapters until the middle of May. I'm sorry for any inconvenience that this may cause.