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A Sunset at the Lighthouse

CorvusAtrox

New Member
So made this for Yuletide for diamondpearl876 and posting it here. Hopefully it's enjoyable



The top floor of the Lighthouse in Olivine City. An Ampharos stretched and let out a yawn as she got ready to start her usual nightly task. After a bit of stretching, she wondered if Jasmine would be coming by again today. She was pretty excited about something yesterday after all, so it would be nice to see how that was going.

Sure enough, as the sun was beginning to go down, the Ampharos heard the ding of the elevator arriving on the top floor. As its door opened, a human girl with pigtails and a pastel blue and white dress comes out. Jasmine! The Ampharos always looked forward to her visits to the top of the lighthouse because she was usually the one who played with her the most. This time, though, something seemed… off about the girl. She was pretty excited about taking over the city's gym yesterday, but she seemed a lot less happy today. The Ampharos decided to try and head over to comfort her. As she did so, Jasmine gave a smile.

"Hello, Amphy! Glad to see you!"

Amphy smiled in return, but then, gave a concerned, probing look.

<Something up, Jasmine?>

Seeing Amphy's reaction, Jasmine's smile faded a bit.

"You noticed, huh?" Jasmine stopped for a bit before continuing. "Well, I suppose having a friendly ear on this wouldn't hurt."

She went and sat down on a bench, Amphy following suit. After getting comfortable, the Ampharos decided to probe deeper.

<So… What's got you upset?>

"Well, if you're wondering why I'm feeling down right now… it's about the Gym."

Amphy reacted with a bit of surprise. <Huh? You were so excited about it just yesterday!>

Jasmine gave a bit of a nod. "Yeah, I know I was pretty excited about it yesterday, but… I'm not sure I'm doing it right."

Amphy just gave a look asking Jasmine to go into more depth.

"Well, things were going well at first. Halfway in, though..." she paused a bit before continuing, "There was this trainer with a lot of Fire-types. I thought I was prepared to cover potential weaknesses like that, but…"

"Well, I slipped up. And even after they left, I kept thinking about if I could have done something better. If I really can't do this after all..."

At this, Amphy patted Jasmine's back.

<Hey, come on, Jasmine! You've been working hard at this and you know Steel-types pretty well. I'm sure that was just a fluke.>

Jasmine smiled a bit.

"Thanks, Amphy. But still, I'm-"

She stopped as the elevator door opened, out of it coming a boy with tousled hair, wearing a blue, military-esque uniform. He walked into the room, not noticing anyone at first, but then noticed Jasmine and Amphy sitting on the bench and got a bit nervous.

"Er… I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" he started.

"Aah!" Jasmine interjected, waving her hands in front of her to indicate a 'no' "Not at all, don't worry!"

"Ah, good," the boy said, "I came up here to see what the lighthouse is like and because I heard it was a good place to battle trainers. Didn't expect to see anyone but the Ampharos up here, though."

"Oh! Uh… Well, if you want to challenge me, it'd probably be better to do it in the Gym than up here. Besides, Amphy's supposed to start work soon and I don't think a battle would be the best during that…"

<Hey, my attention span's fine!> interjected the Ampharos.

Jasmine coughed conspicuously before the boy responded.

"Oh, you're the Gym Leader here? Funny I'd run into you here, then. The Gym trainers said you'd gone off to clear your head about something."

Jasmine's expression shifted to one of guilt for a bit before responding.

"Uh, yes, that's correct. My name's Jasmine, I use the-"

As she said this, Jasmine accidentally bumped her hand full-force into the metal bench, causing it to make a clanging sound. She winced a bit and continued.

"Steel type…"

The boy, seemingly largely unperturbed by this, responded.

"Huh, quite the creative way to draw attention to your type. Might want to do it in a less painful way, though."

"Yeah… Thanks for the suggestion." Jasmine said as she kept wincing for a bit.

"Anyway, nice to meet you, Jasmine. My name's Volkner. I'm the leader of the Sunyshore Gym."

"Oh? The one in Sinnoh? What brings you to Johto, then?"

"Well, Flint and I wanted to take a trip here before he starts being part of the Sinnoh Elite Four."

"Oh, well, hope you enjoy Johto, then. Though, who's Flint?"

Volkner smiles.

"We've known each other since we were kids. He always took to Fire-types the way I took to Electric. He just qualified to be a part of the Sinnoh Elite Four."

"Oh! Well, that makes me feel a bit better..."

Volkner gave a confused look.

"Hm?"

Jasmine, having realized she said the last sentence out loud, decided it would be best to explain.

"Well… the reason I needed to clear my head was because I felt like I lost to a Fire-type trainer too easily. I'm guessing now that that was Flint."

Volkner's expression shifted to one of contemplation and worry.

"Hrm, yeah, he did go and challenge the Gym earlier."

"Though, I guess I can understand what's got you worked up…"

"You do?"

Volkner nodded.

"Admittedly… I didn't just go on this trip for Flint's sake. I wanted to take a bit of a break from my own Gym. It felt like the battles were getting stale. And when you let thoughts like that get in your way, you won't battle as well."

Jasmine looked downward a bit after Volkner's speech.

"...Right. Guess you're a lot more experienced in battle than me too."

Volkner realized how what he said could have come off and waved his hands in front of himself.

"Ngh, that's not how I meant it!"

He sighed.

"I just meant that you'll do your best battling with a clear head. Besides, you passed the qualifications for your Gym, didn't you? That's proof you're good enough right there."

"I suppose…"

Jasmine sighed.

"I should probably get back to the Gym. Amphy should be getting to work soon and I've let them cover for me for too long."

She got up and started to get ready to leave.

"Thanks for your help, Volkner."

He smiled.

"No problem. But, from one Gym Leader to another, if you need a break, the Gym Trainers will understand."

Jasmine nodded.
"Good to know, but I should probably get back anyway. I did leave a bit suddenly after all."

She turned backwards and smiled.

"And besides, I want to try including the clang in my speech without hurting my hand this time."

Volkner chuckles a bit.

"Fair enough. But, if you want to talk with a fellow Gym Leader about this kind of stuff anytime, I'm always up for a chat. Maybe even going out to help get your mind of stuff."

He smirks a bit.

"Besides, challenging you will be a lot more fun if we can both go into it with clear heads."

Jasmine smiles and nods.

"Alright, sounds good to me. I'll let you know if I do and will be expecting you at the Gym at some point, then."

She then heads to the elevator and takes it down.

After a bit of silence, Amphy turns to Volkner.
<Hey, thanks for helping with Jasmine there.>

Volkner smiled.

"If you're thanking me for talking with her, my pleasure. She's no doubt prepared if she's got a Gym and it'd be really bad to burn out this soon after."

He looked outside and notices the sun had mostly set.

"Well, I'll get out of your wool, then. Was fun to see an Ampharos-powered lighthouse, though. Wonder what you'd think of Sunyshore."

He took the elevator down as well and left Amphy alone, where she began to emit light like every night to help guide ships.
 

diamondpearl876

Well-Known Member
Hey! I'm not sure if you saw my post in the Yuletide thread itself, but I'll post here just in case. Also, it seems you're new to Serebii, so welcome!

Jasmine/Volkner is a guilty pleasure pairing of mine - I don't personally know anyone else who likes it and I think I've seen two other fics about it tops, and because of that, I didn't expect anyone to actually write it for me. So thank you for that. Jasmine's characterization was spot on, and the little jokes about her training the steel-type were amusing to read. Amphy was an added bonus, too - and I liked her characterization, too, and the way she tried to help Jasmine in her own way as well as thank Volkner for the help.

Again, thanks for the fic and hope your holidays are going well!
 

CorvusAtrox

New Member
Oh, yeah, I did see your post, but didn't end up commenting in the thread, just sent private thanks to the one who wrote my fic. Probably should have done that... ^_^;

Thanks for the welcome and really glad you liked it. Glad I got to do a ship you don't often see much of and I'm glad I wrote Jasmine well and you liked Amphy. I ended up going with the ship because they seemed like cool people and would be fun to write for.

And yeah, mine are going well, hope yours are going well too. And was really fun to write it.
 
So you mentioned this fic to me and I'm glad you posted it here! And it was a really pleasant read; it was a great way to explore the challenges of becoming a gym leader in a light-hearted way.

Her interactions with both Ampharos and Volkner were very nice, and that bit where she hit her hand on the metal bench made for a really good back-and-forth. I also like that bit where Ampharos inserted herself into their conversation.

At the end, though, I felt like the part where Volkner tries to cheer Jasmine up could've been a bit longer? After this:

"I just meant that you'll do your best battling with a clear head. Besides, you passed the qualifications for your Gym, didn't you? That's proof you're good enough right there."

I thought we could've had a bit more interaction between them along those lines. Right after this, Jasmine is already about to leave, and while Volkner does offer his support, I thought that the in-between of that could've been expanded a bit to really solidify their relationship.

Also, just a few proofreading notes: There were times where your sentences were in present tense and breaking away from the past tense. Also, with regards to multi-paragraph dialogue like this:
"Well, things were going well at first. Halfway in, though..." she paused a bit before continuing, "There was this trainer with a lot of Fire-types. I thought I was prepared to cover potential weaknesses like that, but…"

"Well, I slipped up. And even after they left, I kept thinking about if I could have done something better. If I really can't do this after all..."
It's better to remove that quotation mark at the end of the first paragraph so it's clear that only one character is speaking. Of course, it's not that big of an issue here because the other character speaking at this point is a Pokemon, but still.

But overall it's very cute, and it achieved what it set out to do. Awesome job! I look forward to reading more of your work. :)
 

CorvusAtrox

New Member
Thanks for the feedback. I know I was having to correct present/past stuff while editing, but looks like I missed some/a lot. Also noted on it having been better if I would have expanded more on Volkner's support of Jasmine.

Is good to know that multi-paragraph dialogues only need bars ending stuff, so I'll keep that in mind.

Though, still, glad you enjoyed~
 
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