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A Tale of a Pokemon Coordinator (continued)

bobert12345

Rainbow Trainer
First of all you sholud probably read episode 1 to get the full details which can be found here http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=102385
Unforunatly it got closed by a flame war! Please don't start any wars PM each other don't do it on my Fic thanks.
Episode 2
Hoppip to it​

The skinny body of Lynette awoke in discomfort. She was sleeping on her arms and was sheltered by dew-covered leaves. She stretched a little, cracking her back and then sat up, barely touching the umbrella of leaves. She pushed her tangled blonde hair out of her face, picking out the small twigs and pieces of grass that were in it. Her blue skirt was covered with grass stains as well as her white tank top. Her tanned skin seemed almost ruined, as it was wet and pruney. It had been her first night sleeping in the wild; she had no make-up, no change of clothes, no blankets or pillows only her self and her two pokeballs.

Lynette, with her electric blue eyes, examined the pokeballs sitting on the morning, green grass. One had a dewdrop on it and the other was upside down, with the white-side on top and the red on the bottom, resembling an electrode. She thought to herself about how she couldn’t tell which one smoochum was in, and which one her newly caught hoppip was in. Determined to figure out which one was which, she picked up the one that was upside down and released the pokemon inside.

A red-flash blinded Lynette. Once the spots cleared in Lynette’s eyes she saw the round, pink, grass pokemon twirling about. The hoppip sat on the grass next to the other pokeball; its green jagged leaves were twitching atop of its head, as if analyzing its surroundings. It walked around the small cavern of leaves, inspecting everything it could see. It finally saw its new trainer, and for a moment, it looked happy to see her, but when Lynette went to hug her new pokemon, hoppip quickly jumped out of the way.

“What?” Lynette asked shocked, still crouching down with her arms open. “Don’t you like me?”

Hoppip gave Lynette a disgusted look as it pointed its two jagged leaves towards her. Out of the leaves popped out three seeds that all landed right on Lynette. Hoppip giggled uncontrollably as the seeds that were attached to Lynette began to sprout into small trees. “Hop-hop-hoppip!” It squeaked in a cheerful voice.

The same kind of bubble that had formed on Lynette’s head yesterday, when hoppip used absorb, started to form on all the small trees that covered Lynette. Before hoppip could absorb anymore of Lynette’s health, she pulled them all off quickly but as she did so, it left painful marks on her arms. “OWWWWW!” Lynette screamed as she finished pulling them off. “What was that for?” She asked looking down at her giggling pokemon who was rolling around with laughter.

Hoppip sat up, seizing its laughter. It looked up at its trainer whose hair was blowing backwards as sticks flew out of it. Hoppip gave a weird look and then turned around to notice that the wind was blowing. “Hoppip!” It called out, as the wind blew it up and out of the leaves.

Lynette quickly grabbed her two pokeballs, one opened and one closed and then crawled out of the cavern of leaves. She saw her hoppip up in the clear blue sky, so she tried to return it, sending out a beam of red light, but it missed. Lynette knew that any other of her attempts would be a failure so she looked around to see if there was anything or anyone that could help. She noticed what she couldn’t see last night, that she was in a children’s park. She recognized it right away as she used to play here when she was younger. There were donphan shaped slides, swings that had swellows for the seat, poliwhirl-go-rounds and of course plenty of children who noticed the flying hoppip.

***​

“Lynette you and smoochum be careful,” An unwrinkled Lynette’s mother said looking up at her six-year-old daughter and smoochum, who were on a set of swellow swings. “I need to make sure everything is alright at home, scizor come out and watch Lynette and smoochum for me.”

Lynette’s mother dug into her robe pocket and took out a pokeball. She gently tossed it in front of her and out flew a red pokemon, a little bit taller then Lynette’s mother. The red pokemon’s wings came to a stop as it raised its left trapinch looking claw to its head, as if saluting the mother. Its body was shiny because it was covered in metal. It had tiny pointy feet at the end of its legs. Also on top of the pokemon’s head were three points that gave it an evil look. “SCI-ZOR!” It said like a soldier in the military.

Little Lynette began to cry as her mother left the park and in her place a scary bug/steel pokemon. Six-year-old Lynette’s tears fell on smoochum’s head and made the kissing pokemon realize that she was scared. As they continued to swing smoochum’s eyes turned an eerie green color and as they did so, scizor was lifted into the sky. Lynette began to giggle as the angry red pokemon began swinging back and forth just as Lynette and smoochum were doing, except he had no swing.

***​

Lynette’s pain from the leech seeds snapped her back into reality and made her remember that her smoochum had psychic powers. “Smoochum, get hoppip back here!” Lynette weakly gasped as she lightly tossed her pokeball into the air.

Twirling out of it, came a happy smoochum. The expression on smoochum’s face changed with the pokemon’s eyes, from happy to scary. The green eyes glared at hoppip and as smoochum twitched its head backwards the hoppip flew back right into Lynette’s arms.

“Hoppip, why did you try to run away?” Lynette asked her pokemon. “I was so scared,” She sniffled. Hoppip looked up at her trainer with big puppy dog eyes. It wasn’t until Lynette moved her head a little to look at her scars that she realized it wasn’t her that hoppip was looking at. Lynette’s head turned quickly around to see the same scizor that used to look after her. Not too far behind the floating pokemon were her father and mother. Lynette picked up smoochum and now held both her pokemon in her starting to bleed arms. “Go away!” She shouted at the angry-looking red pokemon.

“Lynette I’m so glad we found you,” Lynette’s mother sobbed now standing still next to scizor and Lynette’s father.

“Get back to the house now!” Her father shouted angrily, attracting the attention of all the children and adults in the park.

“No!” Lynette shouted back, still holding her two pokemon tightly.

“Fine then scizor will have to give you a hair cut,” The bald man said threateningly.

“Oh no he won’t!” Lynette’s mother hollered, whacking her husband on the shoulder. “Lynette I understand that you want to become a coordinator but you can’t go outside of Plum town without being attacked by pokemon trainers.”

“And you’ll lose!” Her father interrupted rudely.

“We saw you get your hoppip before it flew away and that’s really good but we don’t think you have the skills to fair in the wild. I mean look at you you’ve spent one night out here, still in the town, and you have scars, grass stains and hair problems. And what’s worse is the fact that you didn’t even think of going to the pokemon centre across the street.”

“Mom,” Lynette whined. “It was dark outside…”

“No one cares!” The old man shouted, now turning red. “Scizor-“

“That is my scizor,” The robed woman interrupted smacking her husband on the shoulder.

“Fine, go forretress!” Lynette’s father shouted taking out a pokeball. Without even throwing it, a round steel/bug pokemon came out. It was up to the kneecaps of Lynette’s father and had big bug eyes. On its top and bottom it was covered with purple metal and in between the two portions of metal was a pink section that was also round and had cannon like sections sticking out. “Now since you’re a ‘coordinator’ how would you like to see a beautiful explosion?”

“Dad!” Lynette shouted. “Have you gone crazy?”

“All I ever wanted was an excellent battler for a child and instead I get a wannabe coordinator!” Lynette’s father exclaimed. “Of course I’d go a little bit crazy.”

“Dad look,” Lynette sobbed beginning to cry. “You don’t like me, mom doesn’t like me, and even my own hoppip doesn’t like me! I’m the laughing stock of this town because of YOU! You made me battle Bobby and you hurt my smoochum! You know I can’t battle that well, I need practice first.”

“I was giving you practice!”

“Fighting a strong dragonite with my little smoochum is practice?”

“Ice is strong against dragons!”

“What ice moves does smoochum know?”

“Duh, powder snow.”

“Well, you could have at least told me that!”

“That night you seemed to know that smoochum could fling me down the hallway with its psychic powers!”

“That’s because it showed me them!”

“You had smoochum since you were five and it never showed you its psychic powers?”

Lynette hesitated for a moment remembering faintly that smoochum had shown her that it had psychic powers. “Not that I can remember,” She said defensively. Scizor’s eyes turned angry when Lynette said this but he maintained his position next to his robed trainer.

“What about hoppip does it have any special powers that you only use outside of battles?” The red, bald man asked.

“Look dad, if you find me a weaker trainer that has just started and I battle them and win, will you let me leave?” Lynette asked.

“That sounds fair hunny,” Lynette’s mother said, standing quietly next to the two bug/steel pokemon.

“Fine, there must be someone in plum town who is as bad as you,” He said arrogantly.

*​

The now clean Lynette sat patiently on her familiar blue spectator’s bench in her backyard next to a new pink backpack. Her freshly shaved legs were crossed and her newly painted nails lay on top of each other. Her makeup was now fixed, giving life to her electric blue eyes, as they watched for her father and her challenger. While she awaited for her father she thought about how her beautiful body and face might distract her opponent and decided to use it to her advantage, as she pulled her tank top down a little, revealing some of her cleavage.

She saw two people come around her bland house and into the backyard/battlefield. One was obviously her father and the other was some hooded figure that she had never seen before. The hooded figure sported an army sweater and jogging pants. “How tacky” Lynette thought. She couldn’t fully make out what he looked like but he was shorter than her father is, probably twelve making him full of raging hormones.

To Lynette’s surprise when the boy and her father grew closer Lynette found out that it wasn’t a boy at all but a tomboy. “Hey,” The boyish looking girl said in a deep voice, pulling off her hood. When she did so she revealed short bleach blonde hair and a poor structured face with absolutely no makeup on. “It’s nice to see another beginning trainer.”

“Like wise,” Lynette said, standing up and reaching into her new bag for her two pokeballs. She then walked over to her position on the left side of the field. She didn’t do it because she was eager to get started but rather to get away from the hideous face of the tomboy.

Lynette’s father pointed to the right side of the battlefield where Lynette’s challenger was to go. The tomboy strutted over to the painted white box on the right side and nodded her head, symbolizing that she was ready.

“Because you both have two pokemon, I decided to make this a double battle,” Lynette’s father declared. “So when you are ready let the match between Lynette and Addenda begin.”

“Ladies firs-“ Lynette started but caught herself before she offended her opponent. “I mean I’ll go first. Go smoochum and hoppip!” Lynette said as she threw her two pokeballs onto the field. At once both hoppip and smoochum came out. Hoppip looking around for slight imperfections and smoochum beginning to cry from the painful memories it had here.

“Go cacnea and magby,” Addenda said pulling out two pokeballs from the pocket of her army sweater and tossed them onto the field. Out of the two pokeballs came a round, short, green cactus with two arms and two legs. And from the other one a short toddler-like red pokemon came out. It had a big puffy/cheeky head and small tail, feet, and arms with little claws on them.

“I know fire is weak against water and ice is just like water so smoochum use powder snow on magby!” Lynette shouted as her father placed his hands over his face.

“Magby why don’t you use ember and cacnea you use pin missile,” Addenda politely told her pokemon.

Smoochum charged towards magby blowing snow at him along the way. The snow quickly came to a halt as small bursts of fire quickly cancelled it out. Just as the rapid spurts of fire stopped and the powdery snow ceased pins off cacnea’s arms flung at the unsuspecting smoochum.

“Don’t just stand there!” Lynette yelled at her hoppip, as smoochum fell on its bottom. “Use leech seed or something.”

Appalled at the fact that it was being bossed around, hoppip ignored its trainer. Instead, it sat still and watched its teammate being attacked by thousands of pins and spurts of fire.

It wasn’t long before Lynette returned her smoochum to its pokeball and solely relied on the annoying hoppip. “Sorry smoochum,” Lynette said to the pokeball with her pokemon in it. Lynette’s attention shifted back to hoppip who was unaware of the now close magby and cacnea. “Hoppip, watch out!” Lynette shouted.

“Magby, ember! Cacnea poison sting!” Addenda shouted.

“HOPPIP!” Lynette shouted at the top of her lungs, finally getting her pokemon’s attention. “Use absorb or ummm something quick!”

Hoppip turned around to see her closing opponents. The pink pokemon flew out of the way of both of their attacks and began to spray a yellow powder on them from over top of their heads. Both pokemon collapsed to the ground in a deep sleep.

“That must be sleep powder,” Lynette said dumbstruck. “Now leech seed both of them!”

Hoppip didn’t take kindly to being bossed around but knew that what Lynette was saying was its only chance for survival, so it threw the same seeds that it threw at Lynette, at the two snoozing pokemon. The seeds quickly sprouted and began to give hoppip health and nutrients.

“Now use ummm tackle! If you know it,” Lynette suggested to her pokemon.

Hoppip charged quickly at the snoozing, seeded pokemon and first hit magby sending him off the field. Secondly, it charged at cacnea except when it connected it actually hurt itself from the pins that were sticking out of it.

Addenda took out a pokeball and returned her magby to it. She then looked over at her now awake but still seeded cacnea. “Cacnea, poison sting!”

Cacnea charged over at its floating opponent and shot a purple needle at it. The poisonous needle connected and sunk hoppip to the ground within a few moments the happy hoppip fainted.

*​

“Dad can I explain,” Harmony said biting another piece of her salad. She looked across the dinging room table at her steak-eating father. A moment of silence went by while everyone finished eating and then stood up.

“Lynette there’s no need to explain,” He started off angrily, “Anyone who can beat a fire pokemon with a grass type as A-ok in my books.” He said now smiling. “Even nurse joy at the pokemon centre said that they weren’t that beat up. So you handled yourself well and therefore you can start you quest to become a pokemon coordinator.”

Lynette looked at her father happily and ran over to give the bald man a hug. She ran upstairs and grabbed her new bag that was now stuffed with pokeballs, clothes, makeup and accessories. She swung her pink backpack over her shoulder and ran back downstairs ready to go. “I love you guys,” She said as she blew kisses and walked out her front door, this time knowing that she could succeed with some practice.
 
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First off, you have no forums. Second, you have an ilegal thread. Parts to stories, unless sequels, CANNOT be posted in separate threads, even if the first one was closed. Third, this doesn't even deserve the 5-star rating it has. to find a REAL 5-star fic, go to Breezy's Hoenn League: A Brendan and May Adventure. That's a 5-star fic. Your last fic didn't deserve 4-stars either. The least this deserves altogether is a 3-star rating.
 

bobert12345

Rainbow Trainer
OOPs

Oops I put forums sorry if that offended you and It is a sequel to the last fic I wrote. Finally, if you think I only deserve a 3 star rating could you please elaborate on why?

Thank you I'll correct forum right now:)
 
M'kay. You thought your own story was great, & put a excellant rating on it, so points off for that. Let other people judge, k? As I stated before, chapters to stories are not to be put in separate threads. Msitakes are littered on the document. You have run-on sentences, lack of capitalization, and punctuation errors.

Going positive, this is a decent fic. Most newbies wouldn't use the word "elaborate", LOL. Mainly because they're brainless noobs like Pokémon Master Miror B. & stuff.

C ya.
 

bobert12345

Rainbow Trainer
thanks

So what you want me to do is; check for spelling errors before posting, run on sentences and lack of capitilization. Everyone makes mistakes so I'll be extra creful before I post the next chapter.

Thank you :)

P.S.: If you do see spelling errors and things like the stuff listed above would you please quote them so I can fix them? Thanks
 
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HB5squared

I'm Back
Awesome

Its always great to see a fic about contests without the coordinator just being a sidekick. I really liked the two episodes I read so far and I could only find a few spelling errors but I'm not going to nitpick. Other than that great job.
 

bobert12345

Rainbow Trainer
Thanks

Thanks for the nice comments and again can you please show me the spelling errors because I don't think my vision is working that good and assistance would be quite helpful.

Also I'd like to announce that the third episode is going to be quite the good one. I've finished it but I still need to revise and edit. Also I need to make sure that the description and character develpmont is top notch or else I'll be eaten alive in the harsh world of serebiiforums (lol) :)
 

Scar

Hadouken!
Hmm...it was pretty good, actually. Not the best, but certainly good for a beginner. Length was fine, no complaints there, and description is also good. You're fine in those departments.

The characters, well, so far I don't have much information on them at all. However, from what I get so far, they don't seem to have much dimension to them, and that's this fic's main weak point. Well, Addenda seems pretty unique as far as fanfic characters go this early in a fic. However, Lynette seems just like the basic stereotypical Coordinator you'd see in the Pokemon Anime. I, just like the vast majority of writers out there, try to give my characters qualities that set them apart from existing characters. Don't worry, though, it's only the first chapter so you have plenty of time to give Lynette her own distinct personality.

Overall, a pretty good start. Not the best, but considering you're a beginner I can't judge you by expert standards. I can't rate this yet considering it's just starting. Once you complete a few more chapters I'll rate it.
 
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-Freedom'sWarrior-

Wolf, and proud.
I like it! You've got talent! Your grammar is very good. Like the others pointed out, there are a couple of mistakes, but that doesn't matter...EVERYONE makes mistakes! If you didn't make mistakes, you wouldn't be able to learn from them! I enjoyed your story very much and I think no matter what anyone else says, you should keep on writing! Remember: It's what YOU think that matters!

^_~
Heather

P.S. Want to be Buddies? PM me if you have time! I'm always searching like the everlasting sun for friends!
 

bobert12345

Rainbow Trainer
Next chapter

The next episode will where near the end Lynette's real personallity comes out...
Episode 3
May stands in the way​

Lynette curled a piece of her blonde hair around her index finger as she walked down a long grassy path. Only a few trees and bushes were gave her company, other then that, no one was there. The chirps of bird pokemon were soothing to Lynette’s ears. She felt like a real traveling coordinator and even had the cool backpack to prove it.

She noticed a big rock by her and decided to have a rest on it. The rock was smooth and cooling as it was very hot out. She dug into her bag and took out a bottle of spring water, with a tilt of her hand half the water was inhaled down her throat. She let out a gasp and wiped the excess water away from her mouth with her hand.

Moments went by as she sat on the lonely rock basking in the sunlight. She couldn’t handle the heat any longer so she decided to close her eyes and rest her head on the cooler rock. When she was finally getting relaxed, she felt something tugging on her leg.

She opened her eyes, looked down at her stretched out legs, and saw that a pokemon was there. The pokemon looked like a little, purple boy. On its round head three purple projectiles were sticking out of it, making it seem angry. It had what looked like red shorts and red shoes but were apart of its body. It pulled on Lynette’s leg again, this time pulling her right off the rock. “Ty-rogue!” It said as it stared at Lynette.

“You must be a tyrougue,” Lynette said as she stood up and wiped herself off.

The pokemon shot a look at Lynette as it crawled up on top of the rock. “Ty, Ty, tyrougue.” It said as Lynette gave it a weird look. The purple, child-like pokemon pointed to the left as if wanting Lynette to see something.

Lynette’s head quickly jerked around and noticed that someone was running towards her. “Hey, you, come here!” The person shouted as she continued to run towards Lynette. She was now in viewing range and was wearing a red gown that fluttered like a floating gardevoir. She had short brown hair that was cut down to her shoulders, covered a little, by a red bandana with a white pokeball on it. The red on the bandana matched her dress and the white matched her elbow length, elegant gloves that covered her skinny arms. “What are you doing?” She said coming to a halt.

“I was just sitting her resting and this tyrougue came and threw me!” Lynette said angrily, making sure that her white tank top had no wrinkles in it.

“Oh,” The girl uttered. “I thought you were… never mind. My name is May, I’m a famous coordinator and you are?”

Lynette gasped in surprise. The heat had impaired her vision because she had not noticed that it was the world renowned May that she was talking to. “M-m-m-m-May,” Lynette stuttered. “I’ve been your fan for a long time, even when you wore those tacky biker shorts.”

May chuckled into her hand and then said, “I remember those days.” She paused for a moment and then looked up at one of the trees. “It’s ok combusken, you can come out now.”

When May said that, a pokemon jumped out of the tree she was looking at. The pokemon looked like a chicken except more serious and it stood up right. The pokemon had orange feathers on top of its head that shifted into yellow ones that covered its arms, oval face and stomach. The yellow feathers made the transition back to orange as they reached its calves finally the feathers stopped and showed skinny brown legs that gave him to three sharp toes that matched the sharpness of its claws. “Combusken!” It said as it gave a bow.

Lynette looked at the pokemon and then looked at tyrougue and noticed that they had similarities. “Is combusken and tyrougue related?” She asked stupidly.

“Well sort of, they are both fighting types.” May replied.

“I thought combusken was fire?”

“Well it is but it’s a dual type pokemon, meaning that it can be more then one type.”

“I think I have a dual type pokemon.”

“You have pokemon?”

“Ya, a hoppip and a smoochum.”

“They’re both dual types.” May giggled.

“Really?”

“Ya, smoochum is psychic and ice and hoppip is grass and flying.”

“Wow so that’s why hoppip sometimes flies.”

“Yup that’s why, hey there’s a pokemon contest coming up and I need some practice how about a battle?” May asked, as combusken grew closer to her side.

“Well, I’m not really that good,” Lynette said honestly.

“Why not?”

“Well I thought you didn’t need to know how to battle to become a coordinator, so I never battled I just practiced with moves for the appeal stage.”

“Well then you can practice right now.”

“No, you’d murder my pokemon!” Lynette shouted.

“Not on me silly, why don’t you try catching that tyrougue?” May giggled.

“Why would I want a tyrougue?”

“Well you need five types of pokemon to compete in the grand festival.”

“Well I already have four types because my pokemon are dual.”

“No, no. I mean cool, beautiful, cute, smart and tough.” May giggled louder.

“Oh did you use those five?”

“The first time I competed in the grand festival I used: Combusken for cool,
beautifly for beautiful, skitty for cute, bulbasaur for smart and munchlax for tough.”

“Oh ya I remember watching that. Well I guess tyrougue looks tough and I already have beauty and smart. So I’ll catch him.”

Lynette pulled a pokeball out of her bag and chucked it at the pokemon who was enjoying the coolness of the rock. The pokemon opened up one eye and saw the pokeball flying towards him. As the ball grew closer, he simply kicked it away with his foot.

“What are you doing?” May asked playing with her gown.

“I’m trying to catch a… pokemon!” Lynette said rudely.

“You have to weaken it first,” May giggled.

“Oh, I knew that.” Lynette said pulling a pokeball with a star sticker on it out
of her bag. “Go smoochum!”

The ball clicked and out came the happy toddler-pokemon dancing about.
She giggled and then said, “Smoochum?” wondering what was going on.
“Use ummm powder snow,” Lynette commanded. Smoochum gave Lynette a weird look as Lynette pointed to the boy-like tyrougue that was close to smoochum.

As smoochum saw her opponent, her eyes turned into hearts and she went up to the fighting type pokemon and gave it a hug. As smoochum did so, tyrougue pulled on the little pokemon’s hair and flung it at Lynette.
Smoochum began to cry as Lynette pulled out another pokeball, this one with a flower sticker on it.

“Go hoppip!” Lynette called out as she threw the pokeball.

This time out of the ball came little hoppip who was swaying gently in the wind. The hoppip knew immediately that tyrougue was its opponent and stayed afloat in the air.

“Use leech seed,” Lynette said as she pointed to the pokemon that she wanted to capture.

The round seeds sprung out from hoppip’s mouth and landed on the unsuspecting tyrougue. Lynette then called out for a tackle attack and hoppip did so. The pink pokemon charged forwards at the seeded tyrougue but was too slow as tyrougue jumped into the air and out of the grass-pokemon’s way. As tyrougue was in the air, the seeds sprouted and began sapping energy from him into the hoppip. The hoppip then took its position
back in the air and charged one more time at the now weakened tyrougue. This time the round, pink wonder connected, it didn’t send tyrougue back by much, but still hurt him.

“Yes,” Lynette said. “I know what to do know: use sleep powder!” Lynette said remembering her battle against Addenda.

Hoppip floated above the fallen tyrougue and began to spray it with the
yellow, sleep inducing, powder. Hoppip then fluttered down to next to its
trainer and nuzzled Lynette gently against her leg. Lynette looked down at
her pokemon who had finally begun to appreciate her.

“Ok, now I can use a pokeball right?” Lynette asked, looking at May and
pulling out one of her red and white balls. May nodded and Lynette threw the
pokeball but somehow missed. “Oops poor aim,” She said defensively. She
quickly took out another one and threw it missing again. “Oh no, he’s gonna
wake up.”

As soon as those words came out of Lynette’s mouth, the pokemon awoke and began to run away. Combusken was about to move but May held it back. Tyrougue’s efforts were futile as an eerie green lining formed around him and he started to come back to Lynette. Lynette looked down at her smoochum whose eyes were green and obviously controlling the moving tyrougue. It
came close enough so that smoochum could give her newfound love a kiss.

“Smoochum, that’s enough,” Lynette said pulling her pokemon away from
tyrougue. Smoochum still kept controlling tyrougue and trying to bring him
closer to her. Before she could kiss the pokemon, Lynette pulled out a
pokeball and now that tyrougue was close enough, managed to hit him.
Smoochum’s eyes snapped back to normal, they glared at Lynette who was
waiting for the ding sound she had heard before. She clenched her hands into
eager fists and as she did so, the ball made the sound. She had caught
another pokemon. “I caught a tyrougue!” She shouted happily holding the ball
into the air with her smoochum and hoppip dancing by her side.

“Good job,” May said with a sigh of relief. She returned her combusken to its
pokeball. “I thought I was gonna need to help you so I kept combusken out
the whole time, waiting for you to slip up.”

“That was nice of you,” Lynette said confused. She took out the two
pokeballs with stickers on them and returned her pokemon to their balls.

*​


“It was nice meeting you,” May said as she shook Lynette’s hand. “Will you be coming to the pokemon contest?”

“Of course!” Lynette shouted.

“Ok, then you can stay the night at the hotel in Crimson city. It’s just at the
end of this path and I rented two rooms.”

“Why did you rent two rooms?”

“One for me and one for my pokemon. You’ll be sleeping with my pokemon.”

Lynette gave a shocked look as her and May began to walk. “That’s fine, I
guess.”

“Beggars can’t be choosers after all.” May giggled.

Lynette was starting to see the hotel and beside was the contest house,
which she longed to see in person. She knew that’s where she’d be
competing tomorrow and that’s where she’d crush the competition.


“What’s wrong?” May asked as they reached the foot of the hotel.

“Nothing, it’s just that I’ve been waiting for so long to compete in a contest.”
Lynette said, ignoring the hotel and gazing at its neighboring contest house.

“Oh, I guess I was sorta like that when I first competed but you won’t be as
aw inspired tomorrow after you’ve rested.” May said pulling Lynette into the
lobby of the hotel.

*​

In the hallway of the Lynette stood and waited for May to come out of what
was supposed to be Lynette’s room. Lynette just waited looking around at
the pink and purple wall design that looked like weird shadows of illumese.

The door finally clicked open and May emerged. “Munchlax gets the bed,
combusken and squirtle share the couch and ivysaur and delcatty are on the
floor.” She whispered to Lynette. “Good night and good luck in the
competition tomorrow.”

Lynette waited for May to go into her own room and then muttered
underneath her breath, “Sleep with one eye open.”
 

HB5squared

I'm Back
Nice

Wow its really a good chapter I like how Lynette shows her evil side at the end "sleep with one eye open," I wonder what she'll do to May. So I'm guessing this is May in a couple of years because of her new wardrobe and other stuff. I sort of want Lynette to become evil but DONT KILL MAY or else I'd cry.

Good job! :)
 

bobert12345

Rainbow Trainer
Ha

WEll you never know sometimes while I'm writing theres a major plot twist that comes to my head but I dont think that's what 's going to happen so don't worrry HB5squared.

If you do find any errors please tell me so I can fix them. :)
 

-Freedom'sWarrior-

Wolf, and proud.
Awsome story! ^_~ I LOVE it!

Is there anyone else looking at this thread? It's a good thread! You should read it!
 
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Deathborn_606

Power of the mind
New reviewer. Well this is a good fic so far and I'm eagerly waiting for chapter 4. Anyhow Smoouchm's lovely kiss could be a good move to use in contests and I'm wondering if you decide to make Tyrouge evolve into Hitmonlee, Hitmontop or Hitmonchan.
 
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