A tip on Pokemon POV One-Shots?

[Quilava42]

I know that not everything is perfect but I was wondering how I can let a Pokemon's POV heavily impact readers. I written one before on a Shuppet Doll that was forgotten all the time but caring but I'm doing something different.

I'm doing one based on an Electrike that got caught by a rookie trainer, and it started off by the Electrike describing her peaceful days at Route 110. Then after she gets caught by that arrogant boy, she describes the way he treats her and his Pokemon as in battle style. But she's behind from the rest of the Pokemon who evolved earlier than her and she keeps losing.


And the trainer punishes her by tying her to a tree, not giving her food and getting slapped occasionally by his gloved hand. Only his Blaziken would protect Electrike. At the end where Electrike loses in the Pokemon League, she gets released at the end and a trainer takes care of her happily.

But the thing is, how do I make this more interesting, since I'm doing this in Electrike's POV? Because doing it in a Pokemon seems different, like if I'm not exactly that Electrike. And I know that these type of plots that include getting abused by a trainer is overused but is it good for it to be this way?

 

[Agent Tectonic]

If I were to give an example to look over, I'd go with diamondpearl's Survival Project. Each chapter show cases a Pokemon owned my a certain trainer and gives their thoughts about their experiences with them.

For my own argument, I honestly would just write it as you'd normally would with any other character. The physical appearance shouldn't be the leading factor in defining the character. So you have an Electrike point of view. Why should that mean that the characterization be any different as if you were writing a trainer. I can understand that it seems different to write from a Pokemon's perspective, but it's actually not that different than writing any other character. At least, to me it seems like that.

 

[bobandbill]

I know that not everything is perfect but I was wondering how I can let a Pokemon's POV heavily impact readers. I written one before on a Shuppet Doll that was forgotten all the time but caring but I'm doing something different.

I'm doing one based on an Electrike that got caught by a rookie trainer, and it started off by the Electrike describing her peaceful days at Route 110. Then after she gets caught by that arrogant boy, she describes the way he treats her and his Pokemon as in battle style. But she's behind from the rest of the Pokemon who evolved earlier than her and she keeps losing.


And the trainer punishes her by tying her to a tree, not giving her food and getting slapped occasionally by his gloved hand. Only his Blaziken would protect Electrike. At the end where Electrike loses in the Pokemon League, she gets released at the end and a trainer takes care of her happily.

But the thing is, how do I make this more interesting, since I'm doing this in Electrike's POV? Because doing it in a Pokemon seems different, like if I'm not exactly that Electrike. And I know that these type of plots that include getting abused by a trainer is overused but is it good for it to be this way?

I think (regardless of the plot plan) that when you're writing any piece from the point of view as a Pokemon, or indeed any creature that isn't human, that you need to pay attention to how it would see the world around it.

Taking Electrike as the example... it's a small dog-like creature, so it's likely to have a better sense of smell than us. (Odor Sleuth being part of its movepool reflects that.) It's also smaller so how it sees/regards things is going to be different to how we see it. (A quick check says they get to be 0.6m tall). Look into any mentions of how it behaves in pokedex entries or the like as well and see if you can incorporate that into your writing, and also look into how dogs act, particularly if mistreated. Try to get the reader to feel like they are an Electrike, and it'll have more impact on the reader that way.

This also means that you'd likely want to be sure to show rather than tell facts, and take note on how you describe things.

Pokémon being mistreated plots are certainly not uncommon, and there are a number out there that exist from the POV of the Pokemon as well, so I can't say that doing that alone would be novel enough (at least without a good delivery to back it up as well; if you have the latter that'd go a long way). One aspect I think that would help is incorporating how the Electrike feels into the story along with what it does about it/why. If it doesn't try to leave the trainer - why? Maybe loyalty, or clinging onto the memory when things were better? If she did try to escape what then? What happened when she was reclaimed? How did the trainer react? And so forth. In other words, try to have more happening in the story than just the Electrike telling us she is sad because ___.

Ramble ramble that's as much as I'll say now while doing study I should be doing without distractions. If something didn't make sense then ask about it!

 

[Quilava42]

I think (regardless of the plot plan) that when you're writing any piece from the point of view as a Pokemon, or indeed any creature that isn't human, that you need to pay attention to how it would see the world around it.

Taking Electrike as the example... it's a small dog-like creature, so it's likely to have a better sense of smell than us. (Odor Sleuth being part of its movepool reflects that.) It's also smaller so how it sees/regards things is going to be different to how we see it. (A quick check says they get to be 0.6m tall). Look into any mentions of how it behaves in pokedex entries or the like as well and see if you can incorporate that into your writing, and also look into how dogs act, particularly if mistreated. Try to get the reader to feel like they are an Electrike, and it'll have more impact on the reader that way.

This also means that you'd likely want to be sure to show rather than tell facts, and take note on how you describe things.

Pokémon being mistreated plots are certainly not uncommon, and there are a number out there that exist from the POV of the Pokemon as well, so I can't say that doing that alone would be novel enough (at least without a good delivery to back it up as well; if you have the latter that'd go a long way). One aspect I think that would help is incorporating how the Electrike feels into the story along with what it does about it/why. If it doesn't try to leave the trainer - why? Maybe loyalty, or clinging onto the memory when things were better? If she did try to escape what then? What happened when she was reclaimed? How did the trainer react? And so forth. In other words, try to have more happening in the story than just the Electrike telling us she is sad because ___.

Ramble ramble that's as much as I'll say now while doing study I should be doing without distractions. If something didn't make sense then ask about it!

Thanks, I'll keep that in mind. And yes, she's loyal and young.

Ok, even if I could post this in Fic Ideas, this is the same topic concerning this:


So, Electrike wakes up with her family and sees the sky and Wingull flying. The wind blows, and she smiles along with her siblings. They run around and chew on berries that were dropped. Then the Electrike brothers glance at the egg and they secured it by keeping it between them. The main Electrike shifts to her mother and father Manectric and sleeps with them.

The next morning, the brothers woke up their sister and told her that their parents are captured by trainers with their strange red and white ball. The sister cringed and told them that they have to get them back. But bullets of fire hits her and she fell down. The brothers glanced at her, but the sister smells a crispy and fresh smell coming.

Then an eleven year old trainer with a red bandanna, a red coat with a yellow zipper, black pants and red sneakers with Combusken, Aron, Lombre, Mightyena and a Masquerain appears. The sister tells her brothers to get the egg and run away. The brother asks what she would do. She then says that she will be all right since she's the older sibling.

The other brother cries but a Mud Slap from Aron hits the Egg and the brothers quickly jumped and got it, and they ran away. The trainer commands Combusken to use Double Kick. And the Combusken dashes with Quick Attack and kicks Electrike. She gets up on her legs and prepares to use Thunder Wave. But Combusken dodges and uses Ember and it sends Electrike to the ground.

Then the trainer throws the Poke Ball and she's caught. The trainer congratulates Aron and Combusken and he jumps on Mightyena to dash to Mauville.

That's a prelude. The real one shot is when it starts at the beach near Mauville where they get to practice cutting trees and rocks. The trainer observes Combusken breaking a boulder with Double Kick, Aron using Metal Claw that slashes the rocks, Masquerain almost tearing a tree with Gust, Mightyena gnawing a tree with Ice Fang, and Lombre cutting a boulder with Razor Leaf.

Then the trainer nods his head with a smile and tells Electrike to break the boulder. Electrike shakes and barks worryingly at the trainer since she can't break it with an non effective move. Then the trainer tells her to use Quick Attack to cut the tree. She does and the tree falls on her. He tells her to get out now, but Masquerain blows the tree away.

Electrike glances at her trainer walking to her, having a grin on his face. She crouches down and shakes. Then he walks away and all the Pokemon follows him. One day at Verdanturf, Electrike says hi to Mightyena, but Mightyena turns her head away, which makes her sad. But Combusken goes to Electrike and sits with her. He smiles at Electrike and says that he won't hurt her. Electrike says that she's glad and she wonders what's that trainer's problem. Combusken says that he wants all of us to be strong, and he says that you shouldn't subject to his attitude. Electrike smiles and thanks

 

[bobandbill]

+5 cool point for riding a Mightyena into town. =p

The start there is a good way to begin I feel, what with the setup of Pokemon relationships along with the trainer as well. So I suggest continuing along with what you've got!

 

[Quilava42]

Yeah, Mightyena is really an awesome Pokemon when you think of it. So I wanted him to let her be rid on.

But over time, she sees the Pokemon evolve since they are older and tougher. And the trainer loses his temper and slaps Electrike, shouting at her for not evolving. Then at night, Electrike is wide awake and sees Lairon, Ludicolo and the others resting. And she thinks back why she hasn't been working harder. So they battle another trainer with a Zangoose who's been trained more. They battle, and Electrike tries using Thunder Fang, and Zangoose dodges it. They jump to the sky and they began clashing by biting and slashing.

Then Zangoose protects himself and slashes Electrike's stomach. She screams in pain and plunges to the ground. As she tries to get up, the trainer commands Zangoose to use Slash. As he dashes to her, Electrike stances and runs away. But Zangoose grabs her back and slams her to the ground. She lays on her back and Zangoose used a devastating Brick Break on her stomach where an X scar she got from the Zangoose's X-Scissor and she faints.

Electrike's trainer commands Blaziken to come out. Zangoose's trainer commands Zangoose to stay in control since fighting types are super effective. As it starts, the trainer tells Zangoose to use Slash, but Blaziken quickly reaches Zangoose. Both the trainer and Zangoose stood still and Blaziken kicks Zangoose to a tree with Blaze Kick.

 

[Dilasc]

I remember writing a small tale about a revived Omanyte describing hair as yellow plants because that far back, fur and hair did not exist. Keep things like where/when a beast comes from to help flesh them out.

 

[jireh the provider]

I have to say is it will depend on the Pokemon Protagonist. If it's a small pokemon, it sees the world much bigger than a human's perception on how big the world is (in terms of physical size).

But from my experience, i know two kinds of cases of Pokemon being protagonists instead of the humans.

a. Trainer owned variant - this ones sides with the fact that te pokemon themselves are like students following their master while they test the rainer' skills and personality if they're worthy to oin along the journey or life. often sides with intrapersonal and interpersonal conversations.
b. Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Variant - this time, the pokemon themselves live their lives like human standards in a poke-version. They're more independent/dependent on themselves/other pokemon to accomplish their goals. Less likely to depend on instincts (in most cases) since they have this human intellect to be much more prepared. Though being instinctive also works, sometimes its just written with poor execution (it varies in the writer of course)

 

[ChloboShoka]

I'm working on a Pokemon POV myself and I enjoy it. To make is more interesting you could start it off with Electrike being happy in it's natural habitat and how it feels when it gets caught. Is is resistant when the trainer tries to catch her? Does she miss her family members? Do her friends and family try to protect her? Does Electrike have a nickname, if so does she have a different name given by her friends and family and does the trainer give it a different name? Just a couple of questions for you to consider, you don't have to respond to all of them until you've written the story, but it seems they've already been answered.

If you've already decided on a personality for Electrike you should use that personality when you're writing about Electrike.

 

[Quilava42]

I'm working on a Pokemon POV myself and I enjoy it. To make is more interesting you could start it off with Electrike being happy in it's natural habitat and how it feels when it gets caught. Is is resistant when the trainer tries to catch her? Does she miss her family members? Do her friends and family try to protect her? Does Electrike have a nickname, if so does she have a different name given by her friends and family and does the trainer give it a different name? Just a couple of questions for you to consider, you don't have to respond to all of them until you've written the story, but it seems they've already been answered.

If you've already decided on a personality for Electrike you should use that personality when you're writing about Electrike.

I may give her and her brothers a name that her parents gave. But thanks anyways, I'll try to cram that in there, since it's very helpful. When the trainer comes, she will fight alone to protect her only brothers she has since her parents were captured and it fuels her energy.