Adventure of a Lifetime

[altoshippingfan]

Summary: A Reunion between friends and family slowly turns to a war the threatens both humans and pokemon. This has Altoshipping in it.


Disclamier: Pokémon and all related names and characters do not belong to me. This story is being written solely for fun, not for profit. Latere, Latona and Lateo belong to Ryuko.

Chapter 1: Reunion​

A party was being held in Pallet Town. May, Max, and their family came from Hoenn, and Brock and Misty, along with their families, came from their hometowns. Gary was already there, along with other people they knew. They had already started their little reunion in a park, when Ash, his wife, and kids came.

“So, Ash, how have you and your family been?” Gary asked his friend.

“All right,” Ash said.

“Yeah, well, still losing every now and then to your son at games?” Gary asked, looking over at Ash’s eight-year-old son Lateo, who looked very much like his father.

“No,” Ash said.

“Yes, he does. It happens every now and then. It usually does in sports,” Ash’s oldest child, an eleven-year-old girl named Latere, said as she and Latias walked over to join the others. Her reddish-brown hair shone in the sun as her brown eyes, inherited from her father, sparkled mischevously.

“So, Ash, what have you been doing lately?” Brock asked.

“Well, nothing much. Just spending time with my family,” Ash said.

“Hey, Ash, have you seen Latona anywhere?” Latias asked.

“Yeah. She’s just invisible and hiding behind my leg,” Ash said.

“I still can’t believe you, Ash. I mean, you fall in love with a Pokémon and then have three kids? That’s a first,” May said.

“Yeah,” Ash said.

“Hey, Dad! Want to play catch?” Lateo asked.

“Sure, why not?” Ash said, taking a ball out and throwing it to Lateo, who caught it and threw it back. Then, Ash threw the ball into the air. Lateo turned into his Pokémon form, and Ash watched the Latios that was his son fly up and catch the ball, then throw it back.

Then, Ash threw the ball as hard as he could, and Lateo caught it again. He looked as his father as he flew.

“Lateo, look where you’re going!” Ash shouted, and with that Lateo looked in front of him to see a tree. Before he could turn, he hit the tree and fell to the ground. Ash ran over and looked at Lateo.

“Is he all right?” Latias asked.

“Yeah, just knocked out,” Ash said.

“I guess this normally happens?” Brock asked.

“Yeah, but normally he tries to get back at me for that,” Ash said, looking down as Lateo slowly got up.

“Well, that hurt,” Lateo said as everyone laughed.

“Well, it’s impossible to get mad these days. There’s no danger anymore,” Ash said.
But little did they know that something would soon happen. In space, a black object flew toward Earth, blocking out stars along the way. It was of unknown origin, but its crew had one thing on their minds as they moved toward the Earth.

 

[Fez the Mysfit Elf]

What the heck??????? Ash married Latios? What is this world coming to? Sorry, I'm just not the biggest fan of human/pokemon relationships. Oh well. It could have ben worse. But anyway, it was a good begining for a story. I didn't notice any mistakes in your grammar, but then again, I HARDLY EVER DO! I don't know why. I usually have to look really hard to find them, but even if I do look hard, I don't always find them. But overall, a pretty good start. If you add a bit more Misty in later on, I'll be happy. She didn't really do anything in the first chapter. Just give her a line or two, and I'll be happy. Keep writing the story, and I'll keep reading it.

 

[Yami Ryu]

This is a bit cliche, boring and bland. I know we all know what a Latias and an Ash look like, but that doesn't allow you to sneak by without describing the 'children' Ash and Latias somehow had, when, humans and pokemon aren't compatable.

But they could be if you made the story sound believe-able, or like a friend of mine did, put thought and effort into the creation of the story. You act like such a relationship between a human and a pokemon would be accepted. Not only is that unrealistic, it's shallow and cliche.

If one of your friends married an ostrich, and had three little ostriches, I think you would be more 'WTF!?' then 'oh how nice'.

Which brings us to your characters. They are shallow, and now well developed. I don't care if they are anime. When you can't even describe emotions true to any point, or emotions at all, and do what you did for the rest of the story, you have shallow characters with no depth, or if there is it's as shallow as your story is coming out.

Oh wait, after re-reading, I see you described the children. And they're human.

... ok they are born from a pokemon. But are human. Not anthro? And people are OK WITH THIS in your universe?

I don't mind LatiasxAsh. I don't. I might ship Latiasxsomethingelse, but I don't mind Altoshipping. Aslong as it's done with .. well more thought than just slapping the two together, giving them kids and etc.

Also, if you're going to try and claim Latias transforms into a human; don't. Latias can't do that. What was shown in the movie was one very, very good illusion. Otherwise when Annie or Oakly had used that device to see Latias and Latios, they would not have seen Latias.

I'm sorry, but if this is the best you can do, go back to the drawing board, read the advice for aspiring authors sticky, and try to make the next chapter better, or, revise this chapter into something better than what it's currently at.

 

[TheTurquoiseTauros!]

well that was nice of you!!! tell the kid he sucks?? well i liked it...could give more may and max but hey! it was fine!

 

[altoshippingfan]

Well i thank you but yes i know that is bit of a problem but that will be revealed on how they first reacted in a later chapter.

 

[Ryuko]

Hi, I'm the creator of the three kids, Latere, Lateo, and Latona. ^^;; I noticed the reaction to them, and felt I had to say something about how they originated (as characters, not as related to the story).

The three of them came about because of a discussion we had on the Altoshipping General Discussion board, where we were talking about if Ash and Latias had kids, what would they look like and such (the conversation leading up to that point determined that this was a what-if situation, as in what if Latias could actually take a human form, and humans and Pokémon could actually have children. Unrealistic, yes, but very interesting to us. XD) So, I ended up doodling out a quick picture of the three kids, gave them names and ages, and posted it on my site. From there, altoshippingfan saw the picture, emailed me for permission to use them in the story, and that's where we are currently.

Anyway... that's all I have to say. I hope that being immersed into the product of an Altoshipping discussion that was some thirty or forty pages long wasn't too much of a shock. ^^;; (It may be a bit late for that now, though...)

 

[altoshippingfan]

This is the second chapter and it reveals the enemy. The war also begins in this chapter so from now it gets voilent. And so people know the fanfic is set in future of the anime and Ash is 33 years old

Chapter 2: The Day of Darkness​

A day after the reunion, Ash, Latere, Lateo, and Latona returned to their main home, in Goldenrod City. Their other house was located in Altomare, where Latias had gone to see her friends while Ash watched the kids.

After getting home, Ash walked down the hall and saw a little shrine. In it was a small pool of water, with a small blue orb in it. Ash had built the shrine in this house because Latias wanted the Soul Dew to be with them. He smiled at it, then moved to the kitchen and stopped by the fridge. Then, something caught his attention.

Turning around, he saw his three kids in Pokémon form, staring out the window at a strange-looking storm. There was no rain – only a strong wind that was blowing toward them!

“Get away from the window!” Ash shouted as he hid under a table, followed by all three of his kids. Then, the lightning began.

“Where’s the thunder?” Latere asked as the lightning shot down from the sky, continuing to hit what looked like the same spot each time. Then, after the twenty-sixth time, the lightning stopped and the storm disappeared.

Ash got up from underneath the table, holding a very scared Latona. “Latere, can you look after your brother and sister?” Ash asked.

“Yeah,” she said as Ash closed all of the blinds on the windows. With that, he walked out the door.

Everyone in the city was standing and looking, or walking toward where the lightning had hit. It took Ash about fifteen minutes to walk to the place of the strike. Pushing his way to the middle, he saw a small hole in the middle of the road. “What happened?” Ash asked.

“We don’t know, but there’s something moving down there,” a police officer said. Then, cracks in the ground began to form, moving away from the center. The ground caved in, forming a bowl about thirty feet in diameter. Ash moved away from the edge.

Through the smoke, an enormous mechanical leg shot up out of the chasm and stretched sixty feet into the air. It was snake-like in apearance, with three toes on the end. It slammed into the ground just where Ash had been standing. A jet sound began to roar as something moved out of the chasm! It looked like a tortoise shell, mechanical and silver-colored, with one giant camera-lens eye, staring at the miniscule people running from it.
The large object rose slowly out of the chasm, the charging sound continuing.

Eventually, Ash could see that it had three legs, standing like a tripod, eighty feet high, with several whip-like appendages near the head. Ash ran around a corner as the machine suddenly stopped.

Ash moved back to take another look at the large tripod, and other people also moved from their hiding spots to look at it. Suddenly, two more snake-like whips appeared from the machine, each with a device on the end that appeared to be an alien weapon. The two weapons appeared to be searching for something… Then, the weapons fired into the crowd. Every time a blast from the weapons hit a person or a Pokémon, they burst into clouds of dust. Ash and the crowd of people ran away screaming as the alien weapons fired. More and more people burst into dust. Finally, Ash was able to hide in a nearby building as a leg of the tripod came down and started firing its weapons.

It took Ash a while, avoiding the crowd and the machine, to get home safely. “What happened?” Latere asked.

“Pack your bags and get some things to eat. We have to go,” Ash said as he packed a bag and grabbed a small container. Moving to the room with the shrine, he filled the container with water, slipped the Soul Dew inside, and fitted the lid onto it.

“Have you packed everything?” Ash asked the children. All three nodded. “Good,” he said, and with that they went out the door and ran toward Ash’s car. They all hopped in and Ash drove off.

“Daddy, what’s going on?” Latona asked, her blonde hair in a mess and her golden eyes wide from fright.

“We’re going to Altomare to get your mother, and then we are going… somewhere,” Ash said as he drove out of the city, unsure of what was to come next.

 

[Fez the Mysfit Elf]

Chapter two was kind of short. Is this supposed to be like "The War of the Worlds"? I'm talking about the book, not the movie. Maybe the movie, but I've only just started to read the book. Is that where you're getting your ideas from? They're very similar. I only noticed one mistake in the story:

"Pack your bags and get some things to eat. We have to go,”

Okay, it's not really a mistake, but why would they waste time in evacuating by getting something to eat? If the were really in trouble, they would just leave, not sit around and eat. Sorry, that just bothers me for some reason.

 

[Yami Ryu]

A day after the reunion, Ash and his children had returned to their main home, in Goldenrod City. Their other house was located in Altomare, where Latias had gone to see her friends while Ash watched the kids.

That is a bit better, but it still could have been tweaked to be even better.

In it was a small pool of water, with a small blue orb in it. Ash had built the shrine in this house because Latias wanted the Soul Dew to be with them. He smiled at it, then moved to the kitchen and stopped by the fridge.

The Soul Dew is what protects Altomare. You know that, right? For her to take what guards the city against destruction, just because she wants to be near her brother, seems selfish to me.

And you don't hide under a table in a storm. You hide under a table when an abomb goes off *bad joke*, when you hide from a storm it's usually the place in the most directly center part of the house.

... and god I think I know where this is going. War of the worlds? You're badly using War of the Worlds in a bad fic? I'm sorry but I have to say this is coming off like that WotW movie Tom Cruise did, and well, lets just that ain't good.

Your characters show little to no emotion still. You're shoving everything at a fast pace in short chapters with bad detailing and shallowness of the plot that it is making the fic suffer. If you're going to make a short chapter, make SURE it is alright to be that short. That you can't possibly edit in something else to make it longer. Hell, you could even merge two chapters together.

Cause all in all, I see enough scentences and two paragraphs you did write, to make 5, and normally, that does not make a chapter. But if you had conveyed the fear and anxiety from the characters, or maybe developed the characters a little more, I would find you were getting better.

Where was Ash's worry over his friends, his other family, his rivals, everyone else? Yes I know when you are terrified you mostly care about yourself and the closest people to you, which would be family. But really, no fleeting worry for Ash's mom? His best friends? People he has helped in the past?

You're still suffering from what I pointed out before.

 

[altoshippingfan]

Well yeah this fanfic is sort of a War of the Worlds pokemon crossover, but that is the idea it comes up with and don't worry i wouldn't end like the movie (2005 version) but a bit different and i am trying to mix the book and the other version into this fanfic. But if there is another part to this fanfic like a sequal it will not be like war of the worlds, but i can't help i am a big sci-fi fan. But if you have ideas to make the fanfic better and move away from the 2005 war of the worlds please tell. Just be likey if i decide to not add Doctor Who to this. But if it will make people happy then i might stop writing this fanfic all together.

 

[Yami Ryu]

I've already given you 'ideas' to help it get better. IE the suggestions on what to do to give the fanfic more oomph and less flop. you shouldn't be asking a stranger for ideas about your fanfic. But you could take my advice. Try to be more original. you could've used a different alien invasion idea, instead of just ripping your alien invaders from WotW, you could have made up your own, or had them alien pkmn, or alien humans, or etc and so forth.

I suggest you really go read the advice for aspiring authors sticky, or re-read my posts.

And you shouldn't just give up because you have to put a bit more effort into your writing. I am not 'happy' or 'unhappy' with your story. I just don't like it when people just write badly. I've already gave you advice how to become better. Use it and you'll probably get more reviewers.

 

[altoshippingfan]

I've already given you 'ideas' to help it get better. IE the suggestions on what to do to give the fanfic more oomph and less flop. you shouldn't be asking a stranger for ideas about your fanfic. But you could take my advice. Try to be more original. you could've used a different alien invasion idea, instead of just ripping your alien invaders from WotW, you could have made up your own, or had them alien pkmn, or alien humans, or etc and so forth.

I suggest you really go read the advice for aspiring authors sticky, or re-read my posts.

And you shouldn't just give up because you have to put a bit more effort into your writing. I am not 'happy' or 'unhappy' with your story. I just don't like it when people just write badly. I've already gave you advice how to become better. Use it and you'll probably get more reviewers.

Well i guess your right there but using aliens from things is what i can do like one fanfic i got on my computer it has a alien enemy from doctor who know as the daleks. But i guess i can just use the idea for the sequeal but then i would have to come up with my own alien race. But maybe i would do that but then there is the question of keeping it a altoshipping and if i should keep the kids which i might do and keep them. But i am re writing the fanfic now so it will have all that you pointed out that was wrong or i missed out but it will still be a crossover but not with war of the worlds but maybe some other sci-fi show