Advice thread

[Aquadon]

She's my best friend, but I'm crazy for her, and I see lots of signs and hints that she feels the same way, except for the part that she has a boyfriend. This boyfriend of hers....ugh, I can't stand him. Not for the fact that he's her boyfriend, but for how he treats her. He lives in a complete other state. Not on the other side of Boston, not an hour drive to another town, but another state. He has so many bull crap excuses for why he can't talk to her more than once a freakin' month.

So, what you're saying is that he's never around. I just can't get long distance relationships at that age: What's the appeal? Where is it going that is so important that is has to exist?

New school, new friends, and the lamest thing of all "my cell phone's busted". I don't believe him for a second. Then.....he just asks her for sex, and she told me that if she says no, he'll just leave her.

This is the one I specifically wanted to quote. Just tell her to leave him: It should be that simple. If he's being that much of a ****, she shouldn't have to stand for it one bit. And give that he lives in a completely different state, there's no reason he should have to get uppity about it; I mean he probably doesn't see her half the time anyway. I wouldn't specifically pursue it right off the bat given that it'll make you look like you wanted to break them up EXCLUSIVELY so you can get with her, but i wouldn't take too long; lest she ends up with another complete idiot.

She came to me on how to say no to him. She came to me with the whole situation as she feels I'm the only person she can tell and I'm the only person that can help. I know I can and I think I am.

I told her to say no because she's too young (we're 14) and the obvious things as to not especially because she doesn't want to. I also told her that it's all bull as to why he can't talk to her. New school has nothing to do with it, new friends, sure he may hang out more but it makes no sense as to why he can't use a friends laptop and talk to her for a while. The phone part...not believing it for a second.

Why do I get the feeling I know this kid? And if it's a phone, I would kind of believe that one. Kids break their cell phones all the time here.

She wants to know what to do...I told her that the best option is to honestly get rid of him. I also told her that she can just talk to him about it rather then just bluntly dumping him. She asked me while almost crying "how?" because she can never get to talk to him.

I feel as if the relationship of the two is in my hands. He treats such an amazing girl like crap. She said she sometimes cries herself to sleep. She watched a romance movie and she said she realizes how much she cares for him and how he doesn't feel the same way anymore.

She said everything that he used to do, and everything that he was, but I've thoroughly explained everything to her and that its going no where and such. I know how she feels and its gonna be hard, but I feel as if she needs to brake up with him.

The next time he even attempt to talk to her, tell her to say, "We're through". That simple. And if he begins to object, just hang up on him. He is in fact a complete douche. If he was amazing, it's not the case anymore.

But I don't know if this is just my feelings for her getting in the way of me being a good friend to her....

Our relationship together, I know where that's going, so I'm not here for girl advise. I want to know if I'm doing the right thing and if my feelings are getting in the way of me being a good friend or not. I also want to know if my advise is even good in the first place as well.

You're being a good friend. Don't tell yourself otherwise. These type of relationships are the scummiest things I know of, and they just shouldn't exist. Anything you can do to help reverse the situation is a good idea.

 

[kochoupink]

Honestly, meeting the guy can't hurt. Even if you don't get a relationship out of it, you might find a real friendship.
Also, moms are surprisingly good at knowing what their offspring like in the opposite sex. I'm sure she wouldn't be trying to set you up without a reason.

I'm in a bit of an annoying predicament here.
My mom's one customer is trying to set me up with her son. I've never met the guy, but the only thing we apparently have in common is that "LOL YOU PLAY VIDYA GAEMS."
How can I get her (and my mother) to step off? I'm positive this guy wouldn't like me if he met me, anyways. I've got you all to back me up on that, amirite? :V

 

[Dattebayo]

I have this problem for a long time. Whenever I watch an atheist video or read an atheist comment, I get into an internal conflict about my beliefs and who is right or who is wrong: religion or atheism. It's driving me nuts, and I blame the questions of how the world was created for this. What should I do?

 

[intergalactic platypus]

I have this problem for a long time. Whenever I watch an atheist video or read an atheist comment, I get into an internal conflict about my beliefs and who is right or who is wrong: religion or atheism. It's driving me nuts, and I blame the questions of how the world was created for this. What should I do?

Maybe your subconscious is trying to tell you something

 

[Darato]

Just go and do something else if you can't deal with it. Every time I hear Ray Comfort and Kirk Cameron and talk about how Atheists are wrong and such I let them go on since I feel good enough in my own beliefs not to let it bug me. Just let them go on and don't let it get to you just because someone else doesn't think the same way you do isn't a reason to let it get to you.

If you feel you truly can't deal with others saying stuff the internet isn't the place for you.

L.F.D.

 

[intergalactic platypus]

Just go and do something else if you can't deal with it. Every time I hear Ray Comfort and Kirk Cameron and talk about how Atheists are wrong and such I let them go on since I feel good enough in my own beliefs not to let it bug me. Just let them go on and don't let it get to you just because someone else doesn't think the same way you do isn't a reason to let it get to you.

If you feel you truly can't deal with others saying stuff the internet isn't the place for you.

L.F.D.

Isn't Ray Comfort the banana guy? If so, the appropriate response is to laugh every time he speaks

 

[Darato]

Isn't Ray Comfort the banana guy? If so, the appropriate response is to laugh every time he speaks

That is him. Also the same guy that added and removed pages to Charles Darwin: The Theory of Evolution and passed them out.

I hope they discover a Crocoduck to see how he reacts.

L.F.D.

 

[Dattebayo]

But it's hard because I need something to believe in, and both sides keep arguing how they're right and how they're wrong.

 

[Darato]

My friend that has been around forever, and will always be around.

You need to find out what you truly believe is right for you and stick with it. It shouldn't matter what others are saying since it doesn't hurt you, and it it makes you wonder maybe you don't truly feel the way you say you do.

At one point I'd go to church every sunday and be an ass to ones who didn't share my views, but when I was 15 I became an atheist and have been happy ever since.

Think about what you truly feel is right and stick with it, and don't care what others say as long as they aren't showing up at your door telling you how you need to live your life.

L.F.D.

 

[Dattebayo]

You're not making it better, you're causing me to go into internal conflict again when you mentioned you're an atheist, which means you're going to turn me into one. I need someone who I can really trust to give me advice.

 

[Darato]

Damn you have my plan all figured out.


Like I said before if you can't stand to be around others who don't believe what you do, the internet isn't the place for you.

L.F.D.

 

[abraxas]

Well, first, you should question your first set of beliefs. How did you end up with them? How long? Did they make sense to you? Comfort you? Atheism aside, what's your opinion on your beliefs?
Then, after much contemplation, and time, try to reconnect with that first set of beliefs. How does it fit with you? If it seems right, try reestablish those beliefs in you. Work on building the confidence for said beliefs. If, however, it turns out that they no longer work for you, step back, look at other options. And why, may I ask, is it a conflict between religion, which is so vast in differences, it's mind blowing, and atheism? If the beliefs of your religion don't fit you, after all I said, try looking into different ones. You've got time. There's no need rush on something like this. Some people don't find the right set of beliefs for years and years. Just a thought.

 

[Dattebayo]

I always rush, plus I just wanted to have belief of both God and Evolution, but there is a huge argument about believing in both, thus giving me a hard time on what to believe in.

 

[abraxas]

God said, "Let there be evolution!" And there was.
You'll have to remember, not one set of beliefs will be 100% right. In the end, you have to believe in yourself, and what you want to believe. Not what this group or that groups says is right or wrong. You want to believe in God? Great. Want to believe in evolution, too? Awesome! Want to believe what one guy buys from another, that bought the sayings of another, and he did the same, and on and on? Well, then, you're going to run into problems. =(

 

[RichRI322]

God said, "Let there be evolution!" And there was.
You'll have to remember, not one set of beliefs will be 100% right. In the end, you have to believe in yourself, and what you want to believe. Not what this group or that groups says is right or wrong. You want to believe in God? Great. Want to believe in evolution, too? Awesome! Want to believe what one guy buys from another, that bought the sayings of another, and he did the same, and on and on? Well, then, you're going to run into problems. =(

I believe in evolution too. We have monkeys, the monkeys evolved into cavemen, then cavemen into humans. It;s still evident even today by watching some african tribes. They still do the same tribal exercises as scripted in caves looong time ago.

 

[PsychedelicJellyfish]

I believe in evolution too. We have monkeys, the monkeys evolved into cavemen, then cavemen into humans. It;s still evident even today by watching some african tribes. They still do the same tribal exercises as scripted in caves looong time ago.

Erm, monkeys and apes split off as two separate lineages from the prosimians. Hominids then split off from the apes, eventually giving rise to humans. Sorry, I couldn't let the wrongness pass :S

@ Dattebayo: It's perfectly easy to reconcile evolution with religion. When Darwin published The Origin of Species, the Church had no problem with it; they had, by and large, accepted Genesis as a myth created to explain what couldn't be explained, and were perfectly happy to beleive that God created the universe and then let things happen.

I don't know what's gone so very wrong since then.

 

[^^Yoshinichi^^]

Alright misc, I've got big plans this spring break. I'm visiting my girlfriend on NC; which is a 3-day, 17 hour bus trip. I'm really afraid mainly because although there's only about three or four transfers, I'm afraid I'll get on the wrong bus or run into some bad people. Mostly because on the day of arrival, I have a four hour layover in New York until my next transfer bus leaves. For anybody who's interested, I'm going from British Columbia Canada, to Raleigh, North Carolina. I mostly just have cold feet because I've never journeyed by myself before. Food and entertainment isn't an issue for me, I'll have everything I need. But as I said before, I have cold feet. I know it must be done, though.

EDIT: I do have an itinerary for all the bus transfers, the bus numbers, and all the places I pass through, but I digress. I'm still worried.

 

[Deoxytwo]

@^^Yoshinichi^^

I don't take city buses here in NC, but I can advise you about running into bad people. If you're in the Downtown Raleigh area, avoid Martin Street at all costs. The crime rate is rampant on that street. Also, if you end up in Durham, NC at some point, be on your toes. Just a word to the wise if you're worried about running into bad people.

 

[^^Yoshinichi^^]

@^^Yoshinichi^^

I don't take city buses here in NC, but I can advise you about running into bad people. If you're in the Downtown Raleigh area, avoid Martin Street at all costs. The crime rate is rampant on that street. Also, if you end up in Durham, NC at some point, be on your toes. Just a word to the wise if you're worried about running into bad people.

Turns out I'm flying there, afterall. That'll make things easier for me. I don't have anything to worry about in terms of being mugged, because I'll be on airplanes or airports most of the time and my girlfriend and her family will pick me up. She'll be with me at all times, so no worries anymore. ^_^

 

[Zazie]

I have this problem for a long time. Whenever I watch an atheist video or read an atheist comment, I get into an internal conflict about my beliefs and who is right or who is wrong: religion or atheism. It's driving me nuts, and I blame the questions of how the world was created for this. What should I do?

I am not sure if this may be the best advice but perhaps you shouldn't think about it too much. It is hard to be 100% certain of anything and if you think too hard about it you will just be confused. When asked the question as to the orgins of the universe what pops up? It is there in which you will find the answer because chances are what you really believe will be the first thing to pop up into your head.