Advice thread

[Zenotwapal]

Whenever we meet something new, men think first with their penis, then with their stomach. Face it, kid, it's a fact of life.

Don't ruin your friendship with this girl. It's stupid and selfish.

Ok, when I think about girls the first thing I think with is my brain. My thought process runs off of the brain, not the sexual organ that most sex-driven neanderthal-like boys do.

When I think of this girl, I think of "gee, she's a swell friend" then I think "I really like her. She makes me feel good. If only she would date me...."

I know its selfish at the moment if she doesn't want it or think its a good thing right now, but stupid? I think not.


But the queston I was asking is, When will she quit thinking that you can't date your friends? Not whether I should ask her out right now, because for the time being that isn't a option. Since I've already told her I'm not going to do that.

 

[Charmander#4]

Ok, when I think about girls the first thing I think with is my brain. My thought process runs off of the brain, not the sexual organ that most sex-driven neanderthal-like boys do.

When I think of this girl, I think of "gee, she's a swell friend" then I think "I really like her. She makes me feel good. If only she would date me...."

By showing men images of different people and objects while scanning the neural network, it has been proven that within the first few seconds, we ask ourselves these two questions:

"Can I mate with it?"

And...

"Is it edible?"

Some people don't get past that afterwards, some do. You might try to tell yourself that your brain is beyond doing this before anything else, but don't worry, if it was, there'd be something wrong with you. According to Freud, this is the lowest part of your Ego, the instincts, that which we try to repress. You can't help it.

I know its selfish at the moment if she doesn't want it or think its a good thing right now, but stupid? I think not.

So you want to bring big feelings and possibly even sex into a friendship... That's fine. But 50 % of all boyfriend/girlfriend relationships last less than a year, and what then? Are you willing to sacrifice your mutual friendship in order to stimulate your own emotions?

If you are, then you're no better than the people you call "Neanderthals".

But the queston I was asking is, When will she quit thinking that you can't date your friends? Not whether I should ask her out right now, because for the time being that isn't a option. Since I've already told her I'm not going to do that.

If you really care about her, don't think about that. If she changes her mind, she changes her mind. If not, go see other people. It's not that hard.

 

[Zenotwapal]

By showing men images of different people and objects while scanning the neural network, it has been proven that within the first few seconds, we ask ourselves these two questions:

"Can I mate with it?"

And...

"Is it edible?"

Some people don't get past that afterwards, some do. You might try to tell yourself that your brain is beyond doing this before anything else, but don't worry, if it was, there'd be something wrong with you. According to Freud, this is the lowest part of your Ego, the instincts, that which we try to repress. You can't help it.
While I'm not going to turn this into a debate, I won't argue that humans tend to rely on the basic needs: Food water shelter and sex. Now that doesn't mean we can't operate on a higher level than that, can we?

So you want to bring big feelings and possibly even sex into a friendship... That's fine. But 50 % of all boyfriend/girlfriend relationships last less than a year, and what then? Are you willing to sacrifice your mutual friendship in order to stimulate your own emotions?
If you are, then you're no better than the people you call "Neanderthals".
I don't want sex. I never said I wanted to have sex with her. Re-read my initial post again, and you'll see one of the main reasons why that I don't care about having sex with this girl.
If she's willing to sacrifice her friendship with me to do the same, then sure, I'm all in as well.
My parents were friends before they started dating, so I don't see why not.

If you really care about her, don't think about that. If she changes her mind, she changes her mind. If not, go see other people. It's not that hard.

Its not that I can't go see other people, its the problem of why. Her reasoning behind why I can't date her is the same reason I get from every girl I would like to date.

It sounds like I'm getting advice from a pessamist. Seriously. Which. is. what. I. don't. need. right. now.

 

[kochoupink]

Its not that I can't go see other people, its the problem of why. Her reasoning behind why I can't date her is the same reason I get from every girl I would like to date.

It sounds like I'm getting advice from a pessamist. Seriously. Which. is. what. I. don't. need. right. now.

I'm just gonna be the one to say this because I'm a girl and also kind of an ******* and this whole forum needs to know.

The "friend zone" is a myth. It is something girls made up to spare ourselves the trouble of rejecting boys to whom we aren't attracted. If a girl actually wants to date you, she's not going to care if you're her friend, her enemy, or even her biffle's bf. When she says, "I can't date you; you're my friend," what she means is "I like you as a person, but not as boyfriend material, and I don't want to hurt your feelings by telling you that."

This is not a reflection on either you or her as a person. It's a reflection of what attracts her. The boys she likes may not be good for her at all, but she can't help liking them. DO NOT push this or you will lose her as a friend.

 

[Shedinja705]

My life is screwed, jacked up, and just plain horrible.

 

[GaZsTiC]

My life is screwed, jacked up, and just plain horrible.

OK, where to start?

This might be the place for you: Click here.

 

[Shedinja705]

it's a broken link BTW. But now I've learned to just live on and deal with it. I shouldn't complain about everything. I just need to look at my life, then compare it to someone who probably lives in Africa and say to myself "At least i have a family, good friends, food, a place to live, and a school so I can learn" I just need to stop thinking about all the negative things in life, and then look at the good and positive things. So now i guess I don't need advice, but thanks for helping me though.

 

[Pseudo-Unlegendary]

I'm just gonna be the one to say this because I'm a girl and also kind of an ******* and this whole forum needs to know.

The "friend zone" is a myth. It is something girls made up to spare ourselves the trouble of rejecting boys to whom we aren't attracted. If a girl actually wants to date you, she's not going to care if you're her friend, her enemy, or even her biffle's bf. When she says, "I can't date you; you're my friend," what she means is "I like you as a person, but not as boyfriend material, and I don't want to hurt your feelings by telling you that."

This is not a reflection on either you or her as a person. It's a reflection of what attracts her. The boys she likes may not be good for her at all, but she can't help liking them. DO NOT push this or you will lose her as a friend.

Guys do that too, but instead the smart ones try to give a different excuse to spare having to hear that, because hearing that is HORRIBLE.

 

[Aquadon]

I guess I'm going to come here for advice; more wondering if this is a good idea.

There's a girl I'm kind of interested in, and oddly enough I'm in a somewhat of a talking basis. Despite the fact that she's a Sophomore (and I'm a Junior), she JUST joined Band so we kind of just really met. Thing is she was throwing me looks from long before that (we're talking last year), so I have a good hunch that she's interested. I'm up for taking it slow though, but I'm probably going to ask her for her number next time we see each other. Think this is a good idea? And in terms of the "3-day-rule", what would be the appropriate time to text her asking to hang out? Never really got that far to A) successfully get a number, and B) figure the perfect texting/calling rule. Any thoughts?

 

[Mr. Mudkip]

Um, just ask her in person?

 

[Aquadon]

Um, just ask her in person?

Touche, I guess I'm just overthinking things (as per ushe). Obviously I'll ask for her number in person, it was just the way it might come off as odd or something usually gets to me.

 

[Mr. Joker]

I guess I'm going to come here for advice; more wondering if this is a good idea.

There's a girl I'm kind of interested in, and oddly enough I'm in a somewhat of a talking basis. Despite the fact that she's a Sophomore (and I'm a Junior), she JUST joined Band so we kind of just really met. Thing is she was throwing me looks from long before that (we're talking last year), so I have a good hunch that she's interested. I'm up for taking it slow though, but I'm probably going to ask her for her number next time we see each other. Think this is a good idea? And in terms of the "3-day-rule", what would be the appropriate time to text her asking to hang out? Never really got that far to A) successfully get a number, and B) figure the perfect texting/calling rule. Any thoughts?

Just talk to her, don't be someone you're not, if you want to text her, text her.

 

[Pseudo-Unlegendary]

I guess I'm going to come here for advice; more wondering if this is a good idea.

There's a girl I'm kind of interested in, and oddly enough I'm in a somewhat of a talking basis. Despite the fact that she's a Sophomore (and I'm a Junior), she JUST joined Band so we kind of just really met. Thing is she was throwing me looks from long before that (we're talking last year), so I have a good hunch that she's interested. I'm up for taking it slow though, but I'm probably going to ask her for her number next time we see each other. Think this is a good idea? And in terms of the "3-day-rule", what would be the appropriate time to text her asking to hang out? Never really got that far to A) successfully get a number, and B) figure the perfect texting/calling rule. Any thoughts?

If you ask her out in person, all of that just flows naturally, and then it's like it's no big deal.

 

[Hakajin]

it's a broken link BTW. But now I've learned to just live on and deal with it. I shouldn't complain about everything. I just need to look at my life, then compare it to someone who probably lives in Africa and say to myself "At least i have a family, good friends, food, a place to live, and a school so I can learn" I just need to stop thinking about all the negative things in life, and then look at the good and positive things. So now i guess I don't need advice, but thanks for helping me though.

I don't think you should think like that. One person's suffering doesn't make another's any easier. Instead, I think you should try to focus on the good stuff in life. It can be big stuff, like appreciation for family and friends, or just stuff you enjoy or look forward to. There's a book called "The Book of AWESOME!" which points out a lot of stuff like that, and I like it. It's based on a website, though I forget the web address...

 

[torchicflame]

I'm on facebook and this guy at school chats with me wanting to say hi. So i kindly reply back. Well we only talk for a few seconds about pokemon which he really didn't know anything about and then he starts asking me out. I don't really know him at all and so i say no. He then starts talking of wanting to overdose on heroin if he doesn't go out with me. I quickly stop messaging him and log off facebook.

What should i do?

 

[bobjr]

I'm on facebook and this guy at school chats with me wanting to say hi. So i kindly reply back. Well we only talk for a few seconds about pokemon which he really didn't know anything about and then he starts asking me out. I don't really know him at all and so i say no. He then starts talking of wanting to overdose on heroin if he doesn't go out with me. I quickly stop messaging him and log off facebook.

What should i do?

Unless he has prior history of following you or looking at you then I really doubt he'll do it, considering you haven't even talked before then.

 

[Shedinja705]

I'm on facebook and this guy at school chats with me wanting to say hi. So i kindly reply back. Well we only talk for a few seconds about pokemon which he really didn't know anything about and then he starts asking me out. I don't really know him at all and so i say no. He then starts talking of wanting to overdose on heroin if he doesn't go out with me. I quickly stop messaging him and log off facebook.

What should i do?

Just block him, or something of that matter. That guy seems a little weird. Just make sure nothing personal about you leaks out to him, he's the kind of guy that will track you down if given the chance! So make sure not to tell him anything personal as in your phone number, address, street name, ZIP code, or anything. if someone already posted this resolutoin, I would just agree with it

 

[Mr. Mudkip]

Stop living in the realm of your delusions?

 

[Todoserugi]

i like a girl 2 years older
need help

 

[PsychedelicJellyfish]

i like a girl 2 years older
need help

Ask her out. I mean, what other advice can anyone possibly give when the only information you supplied was "i like a girl two years older need help"? Details please?