Advice thread

[The_Boss_Giygas]

She said sex before marriage is considered lustful, so no, she doesn't care about sex.

A married man can be lustful for his wife, a non married man can be lustful for what ever, either way the lust is there, make sure she knows this, if she doesn't care about sex as you say, then I guess this shouldn't matter to her.

 

[GhostAnime]

You can't have sex without lust. It practically requires it.

 

[Aquadon]

I tried breaking up with her like you told me to, but she refuses to be just friends and doesn't like your advice because she thinks you only care about sex and not about love at all.

Quick thought: Is love really bending to the will of another, or is it accepting the other's flaws and being happy with who they are? If she really likes you she should be able to look past your flaws and be happy. If she's not willing to meet half-way, she isn't worth the effort.

 

[natie]

She said sex before marriage is considered lustful, so no, she doesn't care about sex.

She said she said she said

She says lots of things. She thinks other things.

Draw a conclusion.

 

[Zenotwapal]

(I know I'm bumping, but this is the advice thread...)

There's this girl i used to be friends with in my grade. Her boyfriend, who is also in our grade, recently (I mean, 3 months ago) got in trouble becuase he drank alcohal brought to school from another kid (3 kids were involved).
As usual, I'm the one who gets the blame of "you snitched on us" so thats immediatly what they did. This girl took the side of her boyfriend. Which I knew would happen.
Then I get blamed on "ratting" them out again. This time about 2 of the same guys dipping (chewing tobacco) on a bus ride back from a school function. Apparently I spread this "rumour" to several others according to them, with I might of done, considering I came off a concussion that week, and couldn't really remember anything short-term very well.
Turns out the guy filps out. Now he hates my guts apparently. Also, the girl hates my guts because she'll believe anything her "one true love" says. So now they both hate me. The problem is, they seem to be heckle/target me when ever they get the chance to. The guy attempts to perform cheap shots on me, flick me off, etc etc. The girl just tells me off whenever she wants to. I really don't care about the girl too much here, I'm just more worried about the guy.

Its kinda like a classic bullying case, but I'm not really taking it to heart. In fact, it's more of "I hate you so I'll be a d*ck to you". It's just getting irritating. How do I get these people to stop here? (by the way, the people I'm dealing with here aren't the brightest crayons in the box)

 

[Penguinist Trainer]

well i'm assuming you're in high school with the alcohol and tobacco situation involved.

since it seems you don't really care about their attitudes towards you, the best advice is to continue to ignore them. yes it can be irritating, but they'll get the picture that you're not stooping to their level.

now if things get physical on the other hand, i would report it immediately. to whoever, teachers, principals, parents, whoever is closest. because violence, especially in the case of bullying can escalate pretty quickly.

the other option is to just flat out confront them. it doesn't have to be anything big, but simply a "look, if you have a problem with me, fine. i don't know what you think i might have done to piss you off, but i didn't. all i want is to go through school without being bothered. i've tried to stay out of your way, so just please stay out of mine."

those are pretty much your main options. personally though, i would go with the ignore option. bullys tend to cling even longer if they know they are getting to you.

 

[Zenotwapal]

well i'm assuming you're in high school with the alcohol and tobacco situation involved.

since it seems you don't really care about their attitudes towards you, the best advice is to continue to ignore them. yes it can be irritating, but they'll get the picture that you're not stooping to their level.

now if things get physical on the other hand, i would report it immediately. to whoever, teachers, principals, parents, whoever is closest. because violence, especially in the case of bullying can escalate pretty quickly.

the other option is to just flat out confront them. it doesn't have to be anything big, but simply a "look, if you have a problem with me, fine. i don't know what you think i might have done to piss you off, but i didn't. all i want is to go through school without being bothered. i've tried to stay out of your way, so just please stay out of mine."

those are pretty much your main options. personally though, i would go with the ignore option. bullys tend to cling even longer if they know they are getting to you.

I guess it is kind of bullying.....
Yes I am in high school.
The guy hasn't really "beat the crap out of me". Its more of when we play touch football in athletics, he takes a few shots on me when he gets the chance.
I do ignore them, though. It seems to work to a extent. But it's really the physical sh*t I'm having issues with.

Thanks for the helpful advice!

 

[Aquanova]

It sounds to me like he is trying to get you to start a fight with him, and it may get physical like he might be trying to make you mad so you'll hit him and then he'll beat you up. I wouldnt suggest confronting the guy. If you cant take it anymore and he dosent stop, report him. This guy sounds like a loser that thinks it solves his problems to bully people and I wouldnt be at all surprised if he does it to other people too. Its sad because he is probably exerting control over the girl as well, she'll believe whatever he says and do what he wants cause she may be afraid of him.

 

[Buizelster]

I don't really have a problem with my offline life, but it seems like my online life sucks a lot.Many of the forums I used to go too and have lots of friends on have been overrun by jerkasses that trample over the staff, and do whatever they want while the staff is ignorant of their actions. Meanwhile I've been singled out as a target by these people and the ones that used to like me have jumped ship and joined their bandwagon of always starting stuff with me. Whether it's making personal attacks, capitalizing on my flaws and blowing them out of proportions, or just criticizing anything I say even when I'm not even doing anything to them.

And usually their way of debating doesn't help either. Considering it's pretty much always five or more people against one. Thus turning it into one big shouting match that has made me lose my cool more than once. Making me even more combative, aggressive, and willing to stoop to their level believing it's the only way to fight back against them. Not to mention being too prideful to quit when it gets to that point because I just don't want to lose to those jerks.

They especially like to express that I'm a totally unlikable person that people only tolerate, and it's been something I've put up with every day for the last few years. Of course the only reason I stuck around was out of hope that me and them could co exist, but unfortunately it came to the point where the mods banned me just because it was the easiest way to end it. Since after all the jerks are friends with the majority of the staff.

All the harassment has sapped the positivity from me so much that these days to the point that I'm starting to believe that I'm just that horrible of a person myself. I mean obviously I would be able to co exist with them if there wasn't something wrong with me personally right? I know that being on this forum has been a better experience for me, but I worry that maybe I've troubled people to the point where I'm only being tolerated here as well, and I don't wish to be that kind of person as I don't want to make the same mistakes. I also want to believe in myself again. Believe that I am worth it and deserving of good things, but I don't know how as I feel like I've burned out my entire self esteem and confidence these past few years.

I didn't mean to make this so long, and well fi I have been any trouble on here to anyone. I am sorry it was always unintentional...

 

[Kreis]

I don't really have a problem with my offline life, but it seems like my online life sucks a lot.Many of the forums I used to go too and have lots of friends on have been overrun by jerkasses that trample over the staff, and do whatever they want while the staff is ignorant of their actions. Meanwhile I've been singled out as a target by these people and the ones that used to like me have jumped ship and joined their bandwagon of always starting stuff with me. Whether it's making personal attacks, capitalizing on my flaws and blowing them out of proportions, or just criticizing anything I say even when I'm not even doing anything to them.

And usually their way of debating doesn't help either. Considering it's pretty much always five or more people against one. Thus turning it into one big shouting match that has made me lose my cool more than once. Making me even more combative, aggressive, and willing to stoop to their level believing it's the only way to fight back against them. Not to mention being too prideful to quit when it gets to that point because I just don't want to lose to those jerks.

They especially like to express that I'm a totally unlikable person that people only tolerate, and it's been something I've put up with every day for the last few years. Of course the only reason I stuck around was out of hope that me and them could co exist, but unfortunately it came to the point where the mods banned me just because it was the easiest way to end it. Since after all the jerks are friends with the majority of the staff.

All the harassment has sapped the positivity from me so much that these days to the point that I'm starting to believe that I'm just that horrible of a person myself. I mean obviously I would be able to co exist with them if there wasn't something wrong with me personally right? I know that being on this forum has been a better experience for me, but I worry that maybe I've troubled people to the point where I'm only being tolerated here as well, and I don't wish to be that kind of person as I don't want to make the same mistakes. I also want to believe in myself again. Believe that I am worth it and deserving of good things, but I don't know how as I feel like I've burned out my entire self esteem and confidence these past few years.

I didn't mean to make this so long, and well fi I have been any trouble on here to anyone. I am sorry it was always unintentional...

If it gets to the point where you take things on the internet to an emotional level, maybe you should just quit.

 

[Dattebayo]

I have a huge problem here. One of my Serebii friends, Lil Crickee, requested me to help out with her relationship with her BF, Empy, by having me wear a pair of pads and take pictures of me wearing it so I can give it to her and see if it'll look good on him. I accepted her requested because she's a cool friend, but then my dad got us busted and told me she shouldn't be the kind of friend I should be with. He even told me that she could be a guy, despite seeing several pictures of her before, and she may even use that picture to make me a laughing stock if I ever do something stupid on the internet. What should I do, he told me I can't trust people in the internet like you guys because you may be lying about your gender/location, but you guys share wisdom about life and help other people for their needs.

 

[Buizelster]

If it gets to the point where you take things on the internet to an emotional level, maybe you should just quit.

No offense but that kind of advice sounds more mean than helpful. I'm just not one of those people who think everything on the internet is some joke that's solved simply by supposedly "manning up," and pretending like it doesn't affect you at all. Especially when people make it personal. I don't find it funny or witty.

 

[Yanmegamaster]

No offense but that kind of advice sounds more mean than helpful. I'm just not one of those people who think everything on the internet is some joke that's solved simply by supposedly "manning up," and pretending like it doesn't affect you at all. Especially when people make it personal. I don't find it funny or witty.

He was only trying to help. It really would allow manning up because no matter where you go or whichever forum you go to you will always find jerks. It is a simple internet constant that no one can really help you with. Seriously though, when internet problems get personal and emotional then maybe it is time to quit. If not than maybe try to keep your cool when dealing with the jerks and reason with them. If they won't listen than simply ignore them.

 

[Buizelster]

He was only trying to help. It really would allow manning up because no matter where you go or whichever forum you go to you will always find jerks. It is a simple internet constant that no one can really help you with. Seriously though, when internet problems get personal and emotional then maybe it is time to quit. If not than maybe try to keep your cool when dealing with the jerks and reason with them. If they won't listen than simply ignore them.

Well it didn't sound like helping. It sounded more like "you just can't take a joke so GTFO." Maybe it was a wrong assumption but that's pretty much how it sounded to me in context.

But if you want to be technical I already have quit those forums, but the root of my problem is that it's been going on for so long that the toll has started to make me think that I'm really the problem not them, and I'm having a hard time changing that perspective around because they make it personal with comments like me being hated by everyone in real life just because I'm not acknowledged as being cool by their standards. Which I suppose makes all the difference since they're the popular group on the forum; loved by everyone. I know it's not true though but those kind of wounds have cut so deep that it's manifested doubts at times.... Ignoring them doesn't work either as that doesn't seem to slow them down, and the ignore function ends up usually being ineffective anyways since a persons curiosity will always make them view the posts anyways.

Besides I see the whole manning up thing as just an excuse to sound macho. I'd rather not try to pretend I'm some emotionless person who can laugh anything off. That's just not me.

 

[Yanmegamaster]

It could be mainly because of your inability to interpret things. This is not an insult but it could be that. Have you tried to be respectful of other people's opinions or were these jerks just trolls?

 

[Neo Duality]

If it gets to the point where you take things on the internet to an emotional level, maybe you should just quit.

The internet is simply a medium for real people to communicate. What's your point?

 

[Mr. Joker]

I have a huge problem here. One of my Serebii friends, Lil Crickee, requested me to help out with her relationship with her BF, Empy, by having me wear a pair of pads and take pictures of me wearing it so I can give it to her and see if it'll look good on him. I accepted her requested because she's a cool friend, but then my dad got us busted and told me she shouldn't be the kind of friend I should be with. He even told me that she could be a guy, despite seeing several pictures of her before, and she may even use that picture to make me a laughing stock if I ever do something stupid on the internet. What should I do, he told me I can't trust people in the internet like you guys because you may be lying about your gender/location, but you guys share wisdom about life and help other people for their needs.

I honestly couldn't take you seriously.

Give your dad the finger and tell him to **** off~

 

[Aquadon]

What should I do, he told me I can't trust people in the internet like you guys because you may be lying about your gender/location, but you guys share wisdom about life and help other people for their needs.

No disrespect, but he is right. Some of the people here you have no idea on who they could actually be in real life; that's how many predators take advantage of a situation. It's true that most of us are being honest (from what I can tell), but there could be a few people who are really lying about who they are, just to lurk for the right prey. That's partially why I keep it somewhat superficial here (although I'll vent just to vent when I can). I've only really made 1 online friend that I talked to constantly over 4 years, but once I got to College (and he was still being immature) I decided to drop that and focus more on my real life friends.

 

[Buizelster]

It could be mainly because of your inability to interpret things. This is not an insult but it could be that. Have you tried to be respectful of other people's opinions or were these jerks just trolls?

Mainly trolls.

I do respect others opinions. Though maybe they're the ones who are failing to interpret that. For instance the epic mickey thread on here. My vehement disappointment of the game came out in a way that sounded offensive to others in regards to their tastes, but that wasn't my intention at all. Just because I was really harsh on my views on the game, and disagreed with those who liked it. Didn't mean I was calling them stupid or calling their tastes bad. But yet that's how I was being perceived. I suppose too on the other end of the spectrum there are times when I also interpret things wrong.

 

[Dattebayo]

I honestly couldn't take you seriously.

Give your dad the finger and tell him to **** off~

I can't do that because that'll cost me my MSN account being taken away, and worse, my internet.