Aftermath

[chosen_one386]

Well, I guess I'm on a role at getting chapters written. I'm still swamped with school work, so I'm mostly getting chapters written during the weekend. I hope you all are excited about Platinum. I sure am, though I'll probably wait a few months before I get it. Well, here it is, chapter seventeen.

Chapter 17
Redemption

The scream echoed from the marble walls, causing Kirio to cringe in pain as they reached his ears. He had expected this reaction from Scarlet, but it had been sharper than he had foreseen. He watched as Scarlet slumped to the floor, covering her eyes with her hands and breathing hard. A small spark of anger rose up in him. A spark of anger directed at her for showing Scarlet the...nightmare. He calmed down as he reminded himself that the memory might have been necessary to get her point across.

"Gira...Giratina...sacrifice..." Scarlet whispered between gasping breaths. Kirio knelt down beside her, not saying a thing. A long silence hung over them both, until...

"I don't want to be the power of dimension anymore," she whispered. Kirio didn't respond. Scarlet took her hands away from her eyes. "I don't want to be the power of dimension anymore!" She shouted. Kirio waited until she stopped gasping until he said anything.

"Giratina is not the monster you believe it is," he said quietly. "What you saw...it should never have happened. It was the work of the Shadow."

"But why does Giratina need a sacrifice?!" Scarlet asked, tears welling up in her eyes. "That's just satanic!"

"Yes, Giratina calls for blood, but...in a different way. Giratina is the punisher of sinful souls. The blood you saw come from the walls and the pool belonged to those of dark hearts. To actually raise Giratina, you truthfully only need a few drops of blood and it needs to be given willfully."

"But Kris..."

"Her mind was being controlled by Cyrus. He caused her to, in her mind, willfully giver her blood for the ritual. The Shadow caused him to take all of it because Grayson wanted her dead."

Scarlet ignored the unfamiliar name and turned away.

"Listen to me. Cyrus did not wish to commit that act. It went against everything he wanted for Kris. That was the Shadow's game: to manipulate hearts into doing his will."

Scarlet turned back to face him, her eyes meeting his. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. I promise," he said, giving her a weak smile. Scarlet warily returned it as he helped her to her feet. "We need to meet the others in Canalave. I've got an idea about our next step and everyone needs to hear it."

------------

Mars' nervous habits were getting to Saturn. They hadn't heard from Scarlet and Kirio for several hours, and the members of their small group had started to get nervous. Mars paced across the room, her steps awkward and hesitant, her red eyes flitting from one distraction to another, trying to keep her mind from panicking and wandering through the fears and worries she kept stored in her subconscious. Since the Great War had ended, Saturn had seen a change in Mars. The experience of surviving the last battle between the Chosen One and the Shadow had left her drained. It had doubled the pain that she had felt when she lost her brother to the power of land. They had been close. Now, Mars had no family left. She had also lost one of her teammates...Saturn smirked. Could the man he was thinking of be described truly as one of their teammates? He had always been so cold and distant, especially as their leader. But, their tumultuous history with him caused mixed feelings in Mars' heart when he died. Now, Mars lived to serve a glorious purpose. Now, she was plagued with the power that had ultimately killed her brother.

The door to the upstairs room swung open with a bang, catching everyone's attention and focusing it on the two figures that stood in the doorway. They both looked weary and ragged from their journey in the mountains and Saturn felt his anxiety disappear as Scarlet and Kirio slumped into two chairs across from where Rowan sat. Mars slid into a chair next to Scarlet, her eyes reflecting her wish for details...and answers as well as a concern for Scarlet's state. Scarlet was pale and trembled violently every few seconds. Saturn grimaced. He could guess what vision the Chosen One had given her and the one which Mars was worried about. The group let the two catch their breath before anyone spoke.

"Scarlet...did Kris show you the vision inside the Temple of Dimension?" Mars asked quietly. Scarlet's eyes flashed for a second, then turned away, avoiding contact with Mars' concerned eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me you were in Team Galactic?" she whispered. Saturn looked away, gritting his teeth in frustration. He knew that a lot of confusion could have been cleared up if he and Mars had spoken of their former occupations sooner.

"We wanted you to...trust us. We weren't really sure you would. But with Kirio...I guess we were just waiting for Kris to tell you. I'm sorry, Scarlet," Mars whispered. Scarlet turned to look at her and smiled weakly.

"Of course I trust you. And Saturn..." She trailed off, her eyes growing dark. "But...I'm not so sure about Cyrus."

The name sent a blast of frigid silence coursing through the room. Mars and Rowan looked uneasy. Saturn shook his head. They had trusted him before the end of the war. That was their fault. After years of working with the cold-hearted *******, Saturn had wanted nothing to do with him when Team Galactic had disbanded. Mars, drawn to Cyrus in some strange way, had stayed behind.

"Cyrus?" Mars asked, her voice breaking over the one simple word. "He..." She looked away for a bit to Rowan, her eyes pleading for backup.

"After the incident at Coronet, we discovered that he had been plagued by the Shadow. Luckily, Kris survived the incident, but she bore the scar across her neck for the rest of her life. She was the first to trust him..." Rowan trailed off. "She was the most trusting person ever. Two of the people she took into her group were her worst enemies." Saturn knew whom Rowan was talking about. Cyrus...and of course, Kris' mentor, Maxie, the former leader of Team Magma. Kris and Maxie had been at odds with each other for years before the war. Kris still had burn marks on her face from the burns he had given her. Well, she had had burn marks before she died. Saturn could never forgive someone who hurt him as Maxie and Cyrus had done to Kris. "You may just need to wait and see what Kris will show you. Then, you may make your decision about him."

"Did you find anything at Coronet?" Mars asked.

"We found our next step," Kirio said. It was the first time he had spoken since they had arrived and Saturn thought that he sounded as if he were going to keel over at any moment. "To face this threat by the demons, we must gain more power from our respective powers. We need to find the six orbs of the six powers."

"It should be easy to get into the Cave of Origin without any legendaries standing in our way," Scarlet commented.

"It will be just as easy for the demons to get in as well. They might intercept us, which means we'll have to be on guard," Kirio said.

"We'll set out in the morning after you two get some rest," Mars said. "We all need to be in good condition in case we run into some demons along the way."

------------

Darkness inked its way through the forest, swallowing up the forms of trees and resting Pokemon. A shadow darker than the others skated across the forest floor and materialized into a three dimensional being. Ojinan gazed around at his surroundings as another shadow materialized beside him.

"He said that the group is heading to the Cave of Origin to obtain the six orbs," Tess told her mentor, shifting from one foot to another. She was ready for some action. Some blood.

"Then we will make sure that they will not find what they are looking for inside the Cave itself," Ojinan replied. "Let us stall them for a while and let them learn to control their powers in order to find the orbs."

 

[chosen_one386]

Throwing aside the fact that I should now be typing up a paper for my comp. class and my term paper, I have decided to grace you with another chapter of Aftermath. Enjoy.

Chapter 18
Marble

Being inside the Cave of Origin was like being inside the Temple of Dimension. The ancient Aquapolians had been quite consistent in their architecture and seemed to have had a thing for marble. The usual ruins lined the walls, illuminated by the light provided by Scarlet and Volkner. The legendary energy that Scarlet had expected to feel when she entered the temple was completely absent. The place felt dead and cold.

Kirio obviously knew his way around the marble halls. He led the group through passageway after passageway, their steps light and quick as they hurried deeper into the temple.

Finally, the passageway opened up to a large chamber lined with marble that shone under the light of the sun illuminating the walls from a circle cut in the roof.

Scarlet gasped. Three marble statues stood around a large marble altar that stood in the middle of the chamber. All three statues depicted the Chosen One, but in different poses. The one that stood to the left depicted her in a flowing gown, holding a bow and arrow, strung tight, in her hands. Scarlet marveled at the attention to detail the artist had paid in crafting the sculpture. Even the string on the bow was made of wire thin marble.

The statue to the right of the table depicted the Chosen One in the same dress, but holding a...transparent orb of marble in her right hand. Inside the marble, a light the color of Aquapolian crystal burned brightly. The last statue stood behind the altar, the Chosen One standing tall with a sword raised in one hand and the Holy Bible in the other.

The altar had six round indentions in its surface, forming a circle around the center. Scarlet guessed that this was where the six orbs were kept. But that weren't there.

Kirio's sharp intake of breath made Scarlet start to panic. If they couldn't find the orbs, what were they going to do?

The group stood in silence, some feeling helpless, others racing through different solutions in their minds. Scarlet looked to Rowan, knowing that he would come up with a solution faster than anyone else in the group. Rowan's eyes were focused on a point far off in the distance. They shifted back to Scarlet's, the steel gray color growing darker as his mind clicked into place.

"The demons have been here," he said simply. "But they don't want us to be kept away from the orbs. They want to stall is from finding the orbs."

"How is that, David?" Mars asked, leaning against the altar and tracing the grooves on its surface idly as she waited for the professor to explain his revelation.

"The demons want to find Kris, possibly to destroy her, but not even they know where she is. Scarlet is being led by Kris to where she is being trapped. The longer the demons stall us, the longer it takes for us to become powerful enough to fight back. Eventually, Kris will be revealed and they will be able to wipe out both her and the six powers."

"So what do we do?" Saturn asked. He shifted from one foot to another, nervously glancing around as if he expected demons to appear suddenly in the chambers.

"We still need to find the orbs, but we're going to have to move quickly," Kirio replied. "I think I know someone who could help us find them quickly."

------------

"Run that story by me again, please."

The group was gathered in the meeting room in the Hall of Fame for the Legendary Team. Max had joined them, sitting in his chair in front of the numerous computer monitors that line the wall across from Scarlet.

Kirio sighed. "The demons have taken the six orbs and we need to find them. Your computer system can sense legendary energy, right?

Max nodded. "Okay...yes, it can. Without the other legendaries on the planet, it will be easier to find the orbs without interference." Max swung around and punched some keys on one of the keyboards in front of him. The monitor that displayed the map of the Earth switched to a map of Aquapolis, the computer scanning the country. Seven hot spots popped up. One in each region, except for Ever Grande. It held two. Scarlet assumed one dot represented their group while the other represented one of the orbs of power. It was further south on the map than they were. Almost toward the line between the Jhoto and Orange Seas.

"The Blue Orb," Scarlet said, pointing to the dot. "That's the closest of the orbs to where we are now. We need to get to it quickly."

Other members of the group nodded. "Not all of us should go, though," Rowan remarked. "I think Saturn should head the investigation of this first orb and bring two members with him."

Saturn glanced around at the other members of the group, quietly making his decision. "Harland and Kirio," he said. The two Aquapolians glanced at each other and nodded.

"What are we going to do while they look for the Blue Orb?" Gardenia asked.

"Split up even further," Max said. "This hotspot in Jhoto on Mt. Silver should be the Red Orb. Mars, you should lead a team over there."

"Scarlet and Gardenia, will you help me?" Mars asked.

"Yes!" Gardenia exclaimed. Scarlet merely nodded her head.

"One more hotspot in Kanto, should be the Diamond Orb." Max added. "Volkner?"

"Damian, Professor?" Volkner asked.

"I'm up for it!" Damian exclaimed.

"Max, will you monitor the changes in Shadow energy while we are out?" Rowan asked.

"Sure will. Good luck to all of you!"

------------

Saturn, Harland, and Kirio had the shortest amount to travel of the three groups. They headed south until they came to an ocean.

"There are several islands out there," Kirio said. "Max said that the orb was on the largest of the islands."

"It's straight ahead from here," Saturn said, motioning to the island in front of them.

Kirio teleported the group over to the island and they split up to begin their search. Kirio walked through a small forest that sat in the middle of the island, looking carefully for the Blue Orb.

A cry sounded from the other side of the island and Kirio rushed toward the sound. Saturn stood on the shore, turning to look at Kirio when he heard him crashing through the trees.

"We're not alone on the island," he said in a hushed voice.

"Where's Harland?"

Saturn motioned with his hand out to sea. "All I saw was a dark shaded figure drag him down into the water."

Kirio cringed. "We need to keep on looking. We'll come back to him later."

The two stayed close together, surveying the island with a close eye, their bodies tense and ready to attack any disturbance in their surroundings. It was deathly quiet on the island. There were no Pokemon in sight.

Suddenly, Saturn was knocked sideways into a tree with a loud cry of surprise. Kirio swung around to see a man with dark violet eyes and hair standing just a few feet from him. He was dressed in head to toe black. Kirio backed away from him a few steps and the demon smirked.

"Don't worry, Karasuma, I'm not going to hurt you," he said.

How does he know my name? Kirio thought.

"I'm just here to exterminate the power of the sea," the demon continued, flicking his eyes toward Saturn, who seized up and started to choke for air. Kirio didn't waste a second before he swung his fist around and slammed into the demon with a Dark Blast, releasing Saturn from his power. Saturn struggled to his feet as the demon turned slowly to face Kirio. "On second thought, maybe I should show you exactly how wrong it is to mess with your masters."

"The Shadow has no power over me now!" Kirio exclaimed. "Neither do you!"

The demon's eyes narrowed. Saturn stepped back and pressed his back to the tree behind him. His mind ran through his knowledge of the power of the sea. Kyogre utilized water and ice attacks to fight. Saturn was a psychic type; he wasn't used to physical elements. He tried to envision a blast of water overcoming the demon, but it didn't work.

The demon lashed out at Kirio, who teleported away a few yards to his left. The demon's next attack hit its mark across Kirio's face, causing him to slam into the ground. The demon turned into a blast of water that knocked him off of his feet. His vision was blurred as Saturn flew through the blast and slammed into him, ice shards flying in all direction from his right fist.

Kirio struggled to his feet, looking at Saturn in awe. Those attacks were only a fraction of Kyogre's power, but Saturn was able to pull them off almost instantly. Maybe their powers were going deeper than the lines on their skin...

Maybe they were becoming the actual legendaries themselves.

"Kirio! Go get the Blue Orb! I'll take care of this *******!" Saturn's voice shattered Kirio's thinking patter, causing him to catch a quick glimpse of the demon in front of him. Half of his face was frozen solid, giving him a monstrous look. He tried to scrape the ice away, but it clung to his skin tightly. Kirio spun around, splashing through a wave that rose up from the sea, shallow where he stood, but deep where Saturn and the demon were fighting. He tried to let his instincts take hold and lead him to the Blue Orb. All he could sense was some legendary energy coming from the center of the island.

His feet pounded and slipped across the rough gravel that made up the ground of the part of the island closest to the center. A small cave stood high above Kirio's head, but lower than the palm trees around him. He ducked inside, his feet splashing through small puddles of water. He could see a soft, sapphire light shine ahead of him in the darkness. It dimmed as if a cloud had covered it in an instant. Something seized Kirio's ankles and he fell to the ground, nearly cracking his head open on the stone floor.

The something started to drag Kirio backwards along the ground, pulling him away from the Blue Orb and scraping his cheeks against the rocks, causing his face to bleed. He recovered from his initial shock of being seized from behind and twisted around, slamming into his adversary with a dark blast of energy. It seemed to explode into a cloud of dust and reformed within seconds into icy cold, soulless eyes.

Kirio's blood ran cold as he took in his enemy floating before him. "It's...not possible..." he gasped aloud. Floating a few feet off of the cold stone floor was Darkrai, the legendary whose powers Kirio held at that instant. Kirio tried to rationalize how Darkrai could even be present in the same dimension as he when they held the same being and power.

You still belong to me.

That voice...that haunting voice belonged to the demon that terrorized the world during the Great War. The demon who held power over Kirio and his sister for many years.

The Shadow.

He wasn't going to let him take control of his mind again. Never again would he bend to his will.

And never again would he hurt someone he loved.

"No!" He shouted, turning from Darkrai and grabbing the Blue Orb the second darkness took over his vision, causing him to slump onto the floor in pain.

A flash of golden hair.

The image of her Aquapolian eyes.

Her white dress floating across the floor around her feet.

Never again would he see her.

Never again would he hear her voice.
Never again would he touch her.

"Kirio!"

Snow wrapped around them, blanketing his vision with a bright flash of white light.

"Never let him take control your heart."

Never.

 

[duncan]

Time to catch up again.

"She is trapped in another dimension and cannot communicate the reason why in a direct way. She is trying to tell you by giving you these memories. I would suggest that you focus on the visions and not my presence."

Wait, what? Kris is still alive? Now this is going to be interesting...

Kris closed her eyes, her hands shaking harder as she desperately trued to break free from her own mind that kept her there.

Tried.

Tears started to slide down Kris’ face.

“Help me...”

Midnight arrived.

Scarlet’s scream seemed to break all barriers of time and space.

Giratina...

The only legendary that thirsted for blood.

And it was a part of her being now.

This, and indeed the entire scene, was really awesome. Nice.

A Hoothoot cried out, the only sound on the silent landscape.

This is a bit iffy. I would suggest replacing it with 'in', but you may want to reword this sentence a bit as well.

Being inside the Cave of Origin was like being inside the Temple of Dimension. The ancient Aquapolians had been quite consistent in their architecture and seemed to have had a thing for marble. The usual ruins lined the walls, illuminated by the light provided by Scarlet and Volkner. The legendary energy that Scarlet had expected to feel when she entered the temple was completely absent. The place felt dead and cold.

I really did like the entire scene here, your description was very nice. However, you just jumped here without any explanation. It made me feel like I had missed a chapter before this or something. It comes back to where you like to skip parts that might be a little boring or whatever. Yeah it's easier, but you really need to at least work on the transitions some.

Kirio teleported the group over to the island and they split up to begin their search. Kirio walked through a small forest that sat in the middle of the island, looking carefully for the Blue Orb.

This comes back to the same thing. You're telling us what happened, not showing us. Sure, it's great to know what everyone does. But what's the point of reading a story if you're just going to tell us what's going to happen?

"On second though, maybe I should show you exactly how wrong it is to mess with your masters."

Should be thought.

The demon's next attack his its mark across Kirio's face, causing him to slam into the ground.

Hit.

Floating a few feet off of the cold stone floor was Darkrai, the legendary whose powers Kirio held at that instant.

While I'm sure everyone knows what Darkrai looks like, you still need to describe him. It might be annoying, but it reads much better that way.

A lot has happened in the past chapters, with some really good battles and revelations (Kris might come back. Still trying to wrap my head around that one.). All considered, nicely done. Just work on a couple of the things I pointed out and you should be good to go.

 

[chosen_one386]

Wow, I am so sorry about the delay between chapters. I gave up writing on this fanfic for Lent. The next chapter should be up tomorrow or sometime next week.

Thank you Duncan for reviewing...um...the last three chapters...

Well...Kris may not be alive in the usual sense of the word. She may be alive in a different form. Or maybe she's not alive at all.

Noting grammatical errors. They will be taken care of, thank you. I really need to start editing these chapters.

That scene in the Temple of Dimension has always been my favorite scene ever since I thought it up a year ago. I thought, "Man, we need some blood in here..." so, I devised this scene, which is actually also in The Powers of Time and Space.

Sorry about the jump to the Cave of Origin. I thought that it was clear that the group was heading to the Cave of Origin in the chapter before, but now that I have reread it, it is kind of fuzzy.

Description...*writes it down* must work on description...even of legendaries...

Whew, thank you so much for reviewing! Next chapter will bring a battle and one of my favorite flashbacks. Chapter 19 up soon!

 

[chosen_one386]

After a long delay, here it is: Chapter 19!!!!


Chapter 19:
Land


The call of Murkrow brought Scarlet’s attention to the active night life around them. The Tohjo Mountains that lined Jhoto’s eastern region were filled with wildlife. Though it was dark, Scarlet could see Murkrow flying from one tree to another, some watching her intently. Scarlet shook her head. The Pokemon were a distraction; she needed to keep her mind on the task before her.

“Oh, look!” Mars suddenly gasped. Scarlet and Gardenia stopped short to follow her gaze up a ridge that hung above their heads. An Umbreon stood on its surface, the Pokémon’s red eyes following their movements. “Umbreon was one of Kris’ favorite Pokémon. Maybe she’s sent one to watch over us.” They watched as the Umbreon jumped down behind the ridge and raced away. “Come on. The spot where the orb lies is straight ahead.”

They continued on down through the mountains until they came to a cave in the side of the rocks. Scarlet could sense legendary energy coming from the cave. An image of Groudon filled her mind as they walked closer to the opening.

A large roar filled Scarlet’s mind and dispelled her vision of Groudon. Luxray filled the clearing between them and the cave, their fangs bared as they stalked toward the three Aquapolians.

Mars’ eyes darted around the clearing, sizing up their opponents. “Let’s just split up right down the middle. We may be able to take on multiple Luxray at the same time.”

As soon as the words left her mouth, the Luxray closest to Scarlet sprang up, aiming a paw at her face with claws unsheathed. Scarlet dodged the electric-type, who spun around in mid-air and hit her across the face, causing a gash to appear across her left cheek. She stumbled to the ground as it jumped on to her back, baring its fangs at her throat. The night started to become even darker as Scarlet’s vision faded into black.

<<<<<<>>>>>>

Scarlet could feel cold marble press up on her skin from the floor. She opened her eyes, her first sight being a pair of feet wrapped in sandals that laced up the legs of the person the feet were attached to. Scarlet pushed herself up to a sitting position, catching a better view of the young woman who stood before her.

It was Kris…but she was…different. She seemed taller and her eyes seemed to shine a darker blue than Scarlet remembered. Her golden hair seemed to have grown an inch or two as well, flowing down her back with a brilliant sheen. She was dressed in a ruffled white halter dress, the Aquapolian pendent around her neck clearly standing out against the material.

She had always imagined that Kris’ form…her true from as an angel…would be both powerful and beautiful at the same time. Her imagination was correct. Kris’ wings spread out behind her, large and powerful, but sleek and shiny. They beat once and for a brief moment, Scarlet wondered what it would be like to have wings…or to fly, for that matter. Being an electric-type kept her from defying gravity as other Aquapolians could.

Scarlet caught a glimpse of the sky overhead. It was dark and shaded with an ominous color of red. They were on top of Coronet, looking up at the sky from the place where the Spear Pillar once stood.

A dark figure rose above the mountains. The one in her vision…The one covered in blood…

The punisher of dark souls.

Standing a few yards away from Kris was Cyrus, his eyes trained on the angel in front of him, not once acknowledging Scarlet’s presence as he had in visions past. Scarlet saw no flicker of emotion in his eyes. How could someone never betray their emotions? Except for the scene in the Temple of Dimension, Scarlet had not seen even a second of emotion on his face.

Time had seemed to be in a paused state as Kris and Cyrus faced each other across the top of the mountain. A battle was about to ensue, tension crackling through the air and causing Scarlet to tense up herself. The tension came not just from the oncoming battle, but also the storm of emotions that hung over the angel like a cloud.

Kris disappeared to travel through another dimension, teleporting closer while aiming a blast of light energy at her adversary. He simply stepped to the side, swinging around to block another attack from Kris. Scarlet could see Kris’ mind working out ways to end the battle quickly. A long, drawn-out battle against an opponent as strong as Cyrus would prove too difficult for her to win even in her current form. Scarlet noticed that her attacks grew stronger by the second, as if fueled by an invisible source.

It was Cyrus’ turn to attack. His blasts of light energy were even faster than Kris’ and he seemed to be able to predict where Kris would strike each time. Scarlet spotted the Red Chain wrapped around his arm, glowing with the same blood red glow as the sky. It shattered before her eyes, causing her to jump back. Kris had had the same revelation as Scarlet…

The Red Chain was destroyed along with Cyrus’ power over Giratina.

The blast of light energy that destroyed the Red Chain was so fast and precise, it had done its job invisibly and without causing any damage to Cyrus’ arm. Time seemed to stand still as Scarlet and Kris waited for Cyrus’ reaction. It took him a few seconds before the fact that he had failed in his quest dawned on him. Scarlet thought that at least this disappointment and cause of rage would change the expression on his face. She was wrong. As the sky started to shed the dark red clouds away from the bright blue blanket that lay overhead, Cyrus calmly started to walk toward Kris, who stood stiff as a board a few yards away, tensed and ready to attack if her protection came into jeopardy. Cyrus advanced until he was only a yard away from Kris.

The sharp slash of metal made the taste and smell of blood crawl back into Scarlet’s mouth. In reality, the blade was clean and polished. In her mind, it was sticky with blood. The same knife that had nearly ended Kris’ life was now trying to finish its job.

Kris jumped back several feet, raising her arms in front of her face to protect herself from the next swing of cold metal. The fight had evolved into a close combat battle, one reminiscent of those humans fought in their old world conflicts. The next swing was her chance. She grabbed Cyrus’ wrist, pushing it down and away from her. It was quite an achievement since not only was Cyrus nearly a foot taller than her, but he was also very physically strong. Cyrus responded by swinging the same wrist at Kris’ face, smashing the back of his hand across her cheek and leaving a small cut where the blade of the knife had nicked her. Kris grabbed the handle of the knife and Cyrus’ hand, thrusting both toward him in another surprising show of strength. The knife drove into Cyrus’ chest, causing him to take a few steps backward because of the momentum of the attack. His eyes widened as he gripped the handle of the knife with both hands. They shifted from the wound in his chest back up to Kris’ eyes, which had widened even more than his. Another step back would take him off of the mountaintop.

He took that step.

“No!” Kris desperately reached for his arm, missing as he slipped completely off of the cliff, disappearing into the mountain fog below. Kris fell to her knees, her hands pressing down hard into the dirt that spread across the mountain floor. Scarlet felt waves of pain flow from Kris. She had been fighting for her life, but she hadn’t expected to kill him. He was her only tie to her life on Earth, the last family member she had had. He had manipulated her emotions. She had hated him and cared for him at the same time.

Scarlet shivered as her thoughts went back to her interactions with Cyrus in Kris’ memories. Was he contacting her from the afterlife? Was he trying to tell her his regrets about hurting Kris? She wrapped her arms around herself, stepping back from the still kneeling form of Kris and effectively stepping off of the mountaintop herself. She desperately clawed at the air, as if that action could keep her on the mountain. Instead, she just flailed her arms in the air as she slipped into the darkness below.

<<<<<<>>>>>>

Hot breath tickled her ear as she struggled back into reality and out of Kris’ world. She looked up as two beady black eyes came into her vision. She smiled weakly, and the yellow face smiled back, letting out a happy cry of “Amp!”

Throughout the past few weeks’ events, Scarlet had increasingly forgotten her Pokemon. That thought struck her with shame. She hadn’t even considered the fact that maybe Ampharos, Golduck, and the others wanted to help in aiding Scarlet in her quest. She reached up to scratch behind Ampharos’ ears. He smiled and nuzzled up against her hand. Scarlet suddenly got the feeling that everything would be okay. She was together again with an old friend, just like on their journey. Then, Scarlet caught sight of the golden lines that spread across the back of her hand, and her mind flew back to reality. She pushed herself to her feet and looked around to get an idea of her current situation. She was in the cave that released the large amount of energy that felt like the power of the land. She could see Gardenia and Mars still fighting the Luxray in the mountain clearing.

Scarlet instinctively stepped forward, ready to join the fight. She felt a tug on her pants and looked down to see Ampharos pointing at the back of the cave. She smiled.

“You’re right. We need to go find the Red Orb first.” Besides, from the way things were going in the clearing, Gardenia and Mars were winning the fight and would not need her assistance. She turned and followed Ampharos’ glowing tail down the passageway. The power of land’s presence grew stronger and stronger as they advanced further into the mountain. Finally, the rock walls became illuminated with a ruby light that spread out in all directions from a small chamber up ahead of the pair. Scarlet quickly caught sight of the Red Orb, which rested in the middle of the chamber. She stepped forward cautiously, as if she expected the orb to unleash its power in a split second. She reached out and wrapped her hands around the orb, feeling the power course through her body as soon as she touched its surface.

Suddenly, the power grew burning hot, the flames traveling up her arms. She cried out in shock and pain, but didn’t let go of the orb. Something in the back of her mind urged her to keep her hands wrapped around it, no matter how much pain she felt.

More waves of flames sprang up, each hotter than the last. In her mind’s eye, she imagined pushing the flames back with her own power. One burst of energy sent the pain away slightly. Scarlet squeezed her eyes shut, concentrating on pushing the flames completely back. Finally, the pain died away and Scarlet slumped to the floor, breathing hard. Ampharos bent over her, placing its tiny arms on her back in a soothing gesture.

She smiled weakly. “I’m okay, Ampharos. Just let me catch my breath before we leave.” When Scarlet’s heart finally stopped racing, Ampharos helped her to her feet and the trainer and her Pokemon advanced back toward the cave’s entrance. Gardenia and Mars had ended the fight; all of the Luxray were absent from the clearing. As Scarlet and Ampharos emerged from the cave, they stepped forward to see if they were okay.

“I hope that you don’t mind that I released your Ampharos,” Mars said. “You were out cold, and we needed someone to make sure you were safe.”

“It’s no problem,” Scarlet said, holding the Red Orb out for Mars to take. As soon as Mars touched it, it started to glow brilliantly. Mars cradled it in both hands and looked up to meet Scarlet’s eyes. “Thank you,” she whispered, her eyes unexpectedly filled with tears.

Scarlet knew that Mars was thinking about her brother. Was she scared that she would meet the same fate as he did at the end of the war?

“We need to make our way back to Ever Grande,” Gardenia said, trying to break the melancholy feeling that hung in the air above the Aquapolians. Mars nodded, unable to say anything. They started to make their way down the mountain. Scarlet’s senses were on alert, prepared to fight in case of another ambush.

She caught sight of a shadow moving across the landscape in front of her. It traveled quickly, disappearing into the mountainside. Now she was seeing things. She wondered if she would become a mental case by the end of this conflict.

Probably so…


The shadow that Scarlet had seen didn’t have far to travel until it found its master in a nearby field standing beside her mentor. The night wind made their cloaks billow out around them. Tess’s wild red hair flew up around her face, contributing to her demonic look. The shadow materialized, padding toward Tess.

Tess caught a glimpse of it, and a smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. A small smile, one that Ojinan could not see. He would not approve of such a mortal emotion such as caring and compassion for a Pokemon. The Luxray’s voice filled her head, giving its report. Ojinan turned his head, his dark eyes boring into hers, waiting for her to translate.

In order to keep her Luxray, Tess had to agree to break and mold its soul and being. It could no longer talk. It no longer had a conscience. It could only connect with her mind and only thought of the orders given to it. It was a strange feeling to have compassion for anything, even a Pokemon. Compassion was a weak and mortal feeling that Ojinan would chide her for having.

“It says that the Blue and Red Orbs have both been obtained by the mortals. A group of them are close to us now. Should we confront them?”

There was silence in the field until Ojinan turned to look in the opposite direction of the mountains. “No…leave them alone for now. I will send someone to stop the mortals who are after the Diamond Orb. Besides…

The Dimensional Warrior is about to discover exactly why the Chosen One has been trapped.”

 

[chosen_one386]

This is a pretty short chapter compared to others, but it is chapter 20. I can’t believe Aftermath has gotten this far. Expect at least another 10 to 15 chapters before the end. Here’s chapter 20!



Chapter 20:
Kanto


The Kanto plain that stretched before the three Aquapolians was quiet; the only noise breaking the silence came from the soft wind that blew across the grassy field. Volkner walked a little ways ahead of Damian and Rowan, eager to find this orb…this missing part of the puzzle.

It felt like a missing part of his being. Maybe it was Dialga’s powers that urged him forward, eager to become more intense. Eager to be reunited with their true owner. Volkner worried from time to time if these powers would be too great for his body to handle. What if they killed him?

His thoughts flickered back to Scarlet. She had he powers of dimension, which were much more powerful. Would she be able to handle them? Every time he imagined Scarlet being destroyed by her powers, his heart stopped. It wasn’t her fault that the powers were given to her. Why should she die because of this unlucky turn of events?

He glanced back at Damian, who was scanning their surroundings, probably looking for a Kanto Pokemon to catch. Volkner gave him an annoyed look. He should have been focusing more on the task before them rather than his career as a trainer. Volkner deliberately stopped walking, causing Damian to run into him. Damian glared at him.

“Wake up,” Volkner growled. “We’re looking for the orb, not Pokemon.” He turned back around to their path, catching a glimpse of Rowan’s small smirk at Damian’s wake up call. The psychic trainer dragged his feet down the path. Volkner knew he posed a certain threat to Damian. Damian was worried that Volkner would steal Scarlet away from him. He was right. Volkner knew that Scarlet cared more for him that she did for Damian.

From what Volkner had observed, Damian took Scarlet for granted, was very competitive with her, and was even rude to her. That made him mad and contributed to the reasons why he didn’t like Damian. He would have chosen Kirio to come with him, but Saturn had already called him.

“Have you sensed the orb yet?” Rowan asked.

Volkner closed his eyes, trying to picture the orb in his mind, though he had never seen it before. He then pictured Dialga, but the power of time offered him no help at all. Volkner shook his head, trying to clear the clutter in his mind. “Not right now, I can’t.”

“Max’s system pointed to the plain near Celadon and Saffron. You should start sensing it as we get closer.”

Damian yawned. Volkner shot him an annoyed look, saying, “What? This too boring for you?”

“No, it’s just that we’re trudging through Kanto at three o’ clock in the morning,” Damian shot back.

“Well, get over it,” Volkner said through gritted teeth.

Damian didn’t answer, just crossed his arms and looked out toward the far trees. Suddenly, he froze, something catching his eye. He teleported off a few yards away, following the flicker of shadows that had caught his eye. Volkner and Rowan stopped walking and watched him for a few seconds, debating whether or not to follow him. Volkner may not have liked him, but he was not about to let him go off and get killed. Volkner set off running with Rowan teleporting behind him. They heard the crunch of trees falling up ahead and quickened their pace.

Flames roared across the forest floor, causing Volkner and Rowan to scramble in different directions to avoid being burned by the stream of fire. Volkner sprawled out on the carpet of grass underneath him, his eyes tightly shut to avoid being blinded by the large flash of light. Heat crawled across the ground toward him, and he scramble to his feet, coming face-to-face with a beastly red creature. Covered in red fur with a mouth line with sharp fangs, the creature stood at Volkner’s height, an impressive six feet tall. Volkner flinched as the beast growled, heat seeping from its body through the air and ground.

“Walk backwards slowly,” he heard Rowan say. “You don’t want to anger it.” Sweat poured down Volkner’s neck as he took a step backward, the ground growing even hotter as the beast watched him warily. He backed up until he stood beside Rowan, both Aquapolians tensely facing the large creature. From afar, the beast looked like a huge lion, ready to pounce on its two Aquapolian prey.

“What is it, professor?” Volkner asked. He had a feeling he knew the answer, but his brain was too filled with fearful thoughts to operate properly.

“Entei, the legend of volcanoes,” Rowan answered. “I don’t know why it is still here…it must be controlled by the demons, otherwise it wouldn’t be so hostile.”

Entei’s roar filled Volkner’s ears, causing him to cringe and back up even more. Entei pounced forward, a look of cold-blooded hostility flashing through its eyes.


“Crap!” Damian called out after tripping over yet another tree root. Being a spy was not worth all of the boring searching that he had to do with Volkner and Rowan. He wanted to partake in the fight that was going on between the two Aquapolians and Entei, but duty called him to follow his new legendary senses toward the source of energy coming from the Diamond Orb. Palkia was reacting to its companion’s power, urging him forward toward the orb.

Damian knew that he would face no resistance and that this was part of his master’s plan. Entei was the only resistance that had been set up to protect the orb. Besides, the whole orb game was just to stall long enough for his master to discover the Chosen One’s whereabouts and to start picking off the legendary powers one by one.

A bright blue light shone up ahead, catching Damian’s eye. Finally, some action was coming his way.


Electric and psychic attacks weren’t working as well and Volkner and Rowan had hoped they would against the legend of volcanoes. Unfortunately, Entei would not be subdued by their attacks. It stomped forward, roaring again, it’s breath rushing across Volkner, who stood only feet away from it.

“I think that’s it’s time for you to use Dialga’s powers,” Rowan said, backing up even more from the fire beast. Volkner started to shake his head at the professor’s request. He didn’t know how to summon Dialga’s powers, much less control them. He closed his eyes shut, fighting the urge to keep them open in order to follow Entei’s movements. He imagined Dialga’s eyes, brimming with the power of time. He could feel the lines on his skin heat up, power surging through them.

A blast of light blue energy tore through the air toward Entei, knocking it sideways into a tree nearby and causing the tree to topple to the forest floor. Entei squirmed in pain, rising to its feet slowly and backing away, its eyes on Volkner. Another blast, pink in color, knocked it sideways again and sent the fire beast racing off into the distance. Damian emerged from the direction of the pink blast, holding up an orb made of shining diamonds.

“Look at what I found,” he announced with a smirk.

 

[chosen_one386]

Okay, two announcements to go with this next chapter. One, as you can see by my sig, I am trying to get more and more reviewers. If you are a closet reader, please post. As for the one reviewer I have, please ask some fanfic readers you know to review. 20 chapters in, I really want some more feedback, because this fanfic WILL be finished, one reviewer or even nor reviewers.

Second, I have posted in the Author’s Profile thread in the Author’s Café forum. On my profile, I mention future fics. There will be a sequel to Aftermath. The working title right now is Shadow and Light, which I’m pretty sure will be the actual title. I expect to be finished with Aftermath by September, so expect Shadow and Light to be up sometime next fall. Why the far due date? I will be gone from June 14 to July 25 with limited internet access. Expect NO chapters up during that time. I usually crank out at least ten chapters over the summer. If I were at home, Aftermath would be finished by July, but that is not happening.

Thank you for your patience. Here is Chapter 21!



Chapter 21
Search


Scarlet laid her head on the table and sighed. It had been a long trip back to Ever Grande, and she could barely keep her eyes open. She watched as Kirio paced from one side of the room to the other. He had been quiet since he had returned with Saturn from retrieving the Blue Orb. Volkner, Damian, and Rowan were back as well. The Blue, Red, and Diamond Orbs sat in the middle of the round table in the former Legendary Team’s headquarters. Sunshine glistened off the orbs in a rainbow of different colors.

“Okay, only three more orbs to go,” Max announced.

Scarlet groaned. “Can we please get some sleep before we set out to get them?”

“Yeah, sure. There are some rooms nearby where you can sleep for a while.”

Scarlet followed Kirio down the hall until they came upon a cluster of rooms. Scarlet chose a random one and opened it, revealing a small, simple room inside with a bed and a desk. She collapsed on the bed, falling into a deep sleep.

<<<<<<>>>>>>

Snow blew across Scarlet’s face, causing her to shiver and push herself to a sitting position. She was sitting in at least a foot of snow, just a few yards away from a row of pine trees. Scarlet struggled to remember where she was, and then realized she was near Snowpoint in the northern part of Sinnoh.

She heard the crunch of shoes stomping through the snow, and looked to see Kris pushing through the snowdrifts, wrapped in a large black coat and pink scarf. She stopped and looked around as if she were searching for someone.

From the other direction, Scarlet heard the crunch of another pair of boots. Kirio appeared, wrapped in a black coat as well. Kris smiled when she saw him, running to throw her arms around his neck.

“Why can’t we meet somewhere warmer?” She asked, burying her face into his chest and shivering.

“Because if we meet anywhere near Snowpoint, he would know.”

“The Shadow or Cyrus?”

“Cyrus.”

What? Scarlet thought, shaking her head. She thought that Cyrus was dead…unless this scene occurred before the events at Coronet. Up until then, though, Kris had been showing her memories in chronological order.

“What? Are you scared of him?” Kris asked, smirking.

“No, I just don’t trust him. I can’t believe you agreed to travel around with him after what happened at Coronet.”

“I couldn’t help it! That was the punishment Cynthia gave him!”

“I still don’t like him…” Kirio mumbled.

So, Cyrus had survived… What else was going to happen? Both he and Kris had survived their ordeals. Maybe StarClan members were indestructible…

Kris kissed Kirio lightly. “I just want to make sure that both of you turn out okay.”

“You’re helping him, aren’t you?”

“Well, he obviously has a problem. What if I could help him get rid of his god complex?”

Kirio’s eyebrows knit together in concern and frustration. Scarlet could understand. If someone hurt Volkner, but he still wanted to hand around them, she would be concerned, too. Kirio wrapped an arm around Kris’ waist, pulling her close to keep her warm. Silence spread across the white carpeted scene as the two Aquapolians stood cradled together, listening to the sound of each others’ breathing…

It was a precious moment. Scarlet saw how Kirio looked at Kris. He wanted to protect her. Scarlet could sense small waves of Shadow energy coming from him, as if some force was keeping the Shadow inside him at bay. Kris was trying to help him fight the Shadow, but her motives were beyond charity. She truly loved him and he clung on to her.

No wonder Kirio was so adamant about finding Kris. He was so close to her. It must have hurt him to lose her.

Scarlet’s senses must have been heightened by the power of dimension’s presence within her mind and soul. She could sense how Kris and Kirio were connected and that they were really close. She could also sense a presence behind her. She turned around slowly, her eyes easily catching the figure that stood amongst the pine trees.

It was Cyrus.

He had obviously seen her, because instead of walking toward the couple that stood only a few yards away from her, he approached Scarlet. Scarlet stepped backwards, still a bit wary of his circumstances and wondering if, after all, he was a ghost.

He tilted his head to the side, studying Scarlet. “Have you discovered anything yet?” He looked strangely different in a way Scarlet had never seen him before. His eyes were not cold and emotionless, but they weren’t pleading or desperate, either. It seemed as if Cyrus had finally found the part of himself that fit his being best. The look in his eyes was calm and inquisitive. He stood in a confident manner that looked natural on him. He looked altogether different. Scarlet’s feelings about him had flip-flopped all over the spectrum to rest at this one place.

He was a pretty decent guy after all.

Scarlet sighed. “Nothing that involves Kris being trapped, except for this.” She motioned to Kris and Kirio, who were no longer in an embrace, but talking animatedly about the Sunnyshore gym leader. Scarlet’s heard did a flip when she heard Volkner’s name.

“This may well involve Kristal being trapped,” Cyrus said. He glanced at Kris as he added, “It’s frustrating that she won’t tell us what is going on.”

Something about that statement seemed strange to Scarlet. “I didn’t even think that she could talk directly to us.”

“You may not be able to talk to her, but I am.” Scarlet’s eyebrows shot up and she gasped. Before she could ask any more questions, Cyrus added, “I am able to see and talk to her…I have the…ability to travel to the dimension that she is trapped in, but I don’t know where it is. Kristal certainly won’t…maybe can’t…tell me.”

Scarlet shook her head. “I don’t even know why all of this is happening…I just wish that…I knew something was going to stop all of this from spiraling out of control.”

“It’s the eternal struggled between angels and demons that has caused this,” Cyrus commented, turning back toward the snow covered pine trees. “We just need to find out why Kristal is trapped.” Without a word of good-bye, he started back from where he had appeared earlier. Scarlet’s mind tried to snatch at the many questions floating around her head. One registered completely in her mind, rushing her to hear the answer right away.

“Are you dead?” She blurted out, instantly feeling stupid for asking one of the only blunt questions tossing around her head. Cyrus stopped short and turned around, a half surprised and half amused look etched into the features on his face, as if he thought that the question was funny.

“Yes,” he answered, still watching her as if to anticipate another question.

“When did you die?”

He hesitated. Scarlet wondered if he truly was going to tell her. “At the end of the war.”

“Did you know about this?” She asked, motioning to Kris and Kirio as she asked another random question.

“I did,” he said in a way that said that the conversation was done. Scarlet watched him disappear back into the line of pine trees, then turned back to catch one last glimpse of Kris before she faded out of the memory and back into reality.

<<<<<<>>>>>>

Scarlet started up from the bed, shaking her head to clear the memory from her mind. Ampharos had somehow gotten out of his ball and shot an annoyed look at her for waking him up. “Amp!”

“Well…sorry!” Scarlet said sarcastically, crawling out of the bed.

Kirio was sitting in the downstairs lobby, watching people and Pokemon walk by. Scarlet sat beside him. There was silence for a few minutes until she said, “I had another vision last nigh. You…you really loved Kris, didn’t you?”

Kirio nodded. “Yes…” he said softly. He turned away from her, watching a guy with purple hair wearing a purple suit and glasses walked past and out through the sliding doors.

“So, that’s why you’re working so hard to save her?” Scarlet asked.

He nodded again, and turned back to look at her.

“Then, we’ll find her. Did you know that Cyrus knew about you two?”

“Yes. He never really trusted me, and I never really trusted him, but at the end of the war…we made a pact to protect Kris at all costs.”

“So, he died protecting Kris?”

Kirio paused. “Yes…yes, he did.”

Saturn appeared in the lobby, gesturing toward the elevator. “Max wants us all to meet in the Legendary room for a team meeting.”

Scarlet and Kirio glanced at each other, then got up and followed Saturn to the elevator.

“Okay, we have three more orbs to go,” Max announced at the beginning of the meeting. “The Crystal, Pearl, and Opal Orbs. The Crystal Orb should be in the OA, the Pearl Orb in Hoenn, and the Opal Orb in Sinnoh. Those who hold the respective powers should lead the expeditions out to the three regions.”

“I’ll go first!” Gardenia announced. “Saturn, Professor, will you come with me to the OA?” She asked. Both Aquapolians agreed. Scarlet approved of Gardenia’s choice of Saturn to accompany her to the archipelago. If they ran into any trouble, there was a lot of ocean available for the power of the sea to utilize as a defense. Saturn could even fly the old Team Galactic helicopter around the islands.

Damian was allowed to pick next. He thought for a while, and then chose Mars. Figures, Scarlet thought, he doesn’t want to get stuck with Volkner again. Scarlet could feel the animosity between the two teenagers. She hadn’t even talked to Damian about their relationship, but she could sense that he knew how she felt about Volkner.

Finally, it was Scarlet’s turn to choose. She knew that since her power was the strongest of the six, the Opal Orb must be the most protected of the six orbs. She picked Kirio and Volkner. Both were already strong Aquapolians and the additions of the legendary powers just made them even stronger.

Max handed out the coordinates for the orbs to each group. Before Mars could leave with Damian, Scarlet pulled her away from the others to talk in private.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been altogether truthful with you about my visions…You see, I’ve been talking with Cyrus in my visions. He can seem me and talk to me…but I know he’s dead…and I’m so confused…”

“Don’t be,” Mars said a bit forcefully. “I’m not the least bit surprised that he is communicating with you now. The things that man did while he was alive…” She mumbled to herself, trailing her sentence off at the end. She walked off to join Damian in the hallway. Scarlet watched her go, then followed Kirio and Volkner out the door.

 

[duncan]

Okay, I've got one thing to say first. Aftermath is way too good not to have more reviewers. I mean, really? These past three chapters (and indeed, many of the previous ones) have really been good. You're steadily improving, and some of the stuff (like your depiction of the final battle) really was great.

So if I be lazy and miss any more updates, I give you full authority to give me hell about it.

As soon as the words left her mouth, the Luxray closest to Scarlet sprang up, aiming a paw at her face with claws unsheathed. Scarlet dodged the electric-type, who spun around in mid-air and hit her across the face, causing a gash to appear across her left cheek. She stumbled to the ground as it jumped on to her back, baring its fangs at her throat. The night started to become even darker as Scarlet’s vision faded into black.

Well that's just flat-out unlucky, isn't it? XD

She had always imagined that Kris’ form…her true from as an angel…would be both powerful and beautiful at the same time.

Form. One of the trickiest typos there are I'd say.

The sharp slash of metal made the taste and smell of blood crawl back into Scarlet’s mouth. In reality, the blade was clean and polished. In her mind, it was sticky with blood. The same knife that had nearly ended Kris’ life was now trying to finish its job.

This, and indeed the entire final battle scene, was really really just great. The red sky (I am a complete sucker for final battles when the sky turns red), the decently described battle (you're certainly getting better at describing battles) and just the cool factor of the whole scene just made me grin.

She had he powers of dimension, which were much more powerful.

Fairly sure this should be 'the'.

“Entei, the legend of volcanoes,” Rowan answered. “I don’t know why it is still here…it must be controlled by the demons, otherwise it wouldn’t be so hostile.”

Entei’s roar filled Volkner’s ears, causing him to cringe and back up even more. Entei pounced forward, a look of cold-blooded hostility flashing through its eyes.

Aha, Entei? Well that's not good...not at all.

“It’s the eternal struggled between angels and demons that has caused this,”

Struggle.

I really do need to apologize for falling behind yet again. Really though, these three chapters all were really quite good (although too short). The fact that Cyrus claims he can talk to Kris, and that he's trying to get Scarlet's help in finding where she is really is suspicious to me, though. I would really be surprised is he isn't playing her in his quest for revenge.

Good work, and I'll do my best to get you a few reviewers.

 

[chosen_one386]

Well, since I've already screamed in my PM to you, duncan, I will save the screaming for later. I wasn't screaming AT you, I was screaming in joy because of you...after all these years of working on my fics, I'm just glad that I have found someone that has enjoyed the ride. Thank you for your reviews, your suggestions, and your efforts to gather more reviewers!

Spelling errors = fixed as soon as I post this...

The battle against the Luxray was pretty impromptu in my writing, but since Luxray is one of my fave Pokes, I had to put them in there. I wanted Scarlet to be in a life and death situation before she faded out into the next vision.

That final battle scene between Kris and Cyrus is one of my favorites between them other than the Temple of Dimension scene. Glad you enjoyed it.

Entei is another of my fave legendaries. It = awesomeness in most cases.

Cyrus' motives? Well, you'll find out later. MUCH later...

Thank you once again! *screams* Wait...I promised I wouldn't do that, oh well. Next chapter should be up sometime in the next few weeks. Since I'm exempting my exams, the last week and a half of school is basically free time for me, which = writing time.

 

[Dramatic Melody]

...

Ohai.


So I did the impossible task of reading all this in one day, and I succeeded!

Oh yes I did.

So since I'm too dazed to make a proper review (with errors and stuff), I'll just comment on the whole story itself.


I really do agree with duncan that this fic deserves more credit than it receives. Although you have some funky paragraph structures at times, the events within the chapters are more than enough to make up for it. I admit that I was confused as I started reading the first chapters, but I think I got them all cleared out.

So Aquapolians and Humans are different species, with the former being the latter, but with a Pokemon type that grants them some sort of inhuman ability? Reminds me of a certain fic I've written... XD

Isn't the Opal Orb supposed to be the Platinum Orb now? Or does the name mean something else?

The love-triangle between Scarlet, Volkner and Damian really intrigues me. I'm a fan of ScarletxVolkner, but I wanna see what happens as the story progresses.

One minor nitpick I have is you emphasize on the visions a bit too much that when I read the present events, they seem a bit...under-worked? I mean, the quality of writing you have for the visions is incredible, but the quality of writing you have for the present events doesn't go up to par. Maybe I'm saying that you should balance it out, I guess. I'm bad at critique. x_x

Orbs are t3h epic winz0rz.

What happened to Mew? The little pink thing seemed to have disappeared.

So the six powers are Earth (Groudon), Water (Kyogre), Sky (Rayquaza), Time (Palkia), Space (Dialga) and Dimension (Giratina), right? Then Shadow (Darkrai) comes in and ruins the fun. So that means, to remedy that, you'll need Cresselia...

Or are the legends just confusing me again? Haha.

Btw, I admire your dedication. Twenty-one chapters in a few months is nothing to laugh at.

Very nice work, and I hope you get more reviewers! =D

 

[harryheart]

Review of Chapter 1 and 2

Chapter 1 -

This was a great start and left me with so many questions. Well done. Your wrting had a huge impact upon me so well done. Not much else I can say about it.

Chapter 2 -

I felt this was a let down to your first Chapter, it felt rushed and didn't express as much emotion i thouhgt. It was still a great chapter with plot and writing but I felt there was more that could have been done.

A great 2 Chapters and I'll review the others later​

 

[chosen_one386]

Yay! I'm so happy you reviewed!

Dramatic Melody: Glad to see that you like the story so far. Yes, Aquapolians are humans with one Pokemon type. No dual type Aquapolians are allowed, though. I actually wrote this with the Opal Orb in the story years ago before Platinum was announced (I believe it was early 2007 when I wrote the Temple of Dimension scene for The Powers of Time and Space), so I really didn't have an official name for Giratina's orb. When the Platinum Orb was announced, I just decided to keep the Opal Orb in the story.

As for the visions' quality over the present day quality, so far I've been mostly trying to focus on the visions, but I understand that I need to improve the present day events. I will work on that, thanks.

Mew's coming back, I assure you. As for the powers...well...I wrote this with Lugia as the power of the sky. I'm not sure if I cleared that in the past chapters, but I placed Lugia as the power of the sky because of past plotlines that will be brought up later in the story.

Glad you like it and thank you for your review!

harryheart: Why hello and thank you for your review of the first two chapters. I know it's a pretty long read since 21 chapters are up, but thank you for reading. Yeah, I believe chapter two didn't really measure up to chapter one. I was kind of trying to launch into the story really hard, but it ended up a little less well written.

I'm about a third of the way done with chapter 22. If any of you want to be put on the PM list, just PM me or leave me a visitor message on my profile. Thank you for taking time to read and review!!!

 

[chosen_one386]

And so starts the prime writing season. The last few weeks of the school year, I usually get one or two chapters done because I don’t really have to do much as far as schoolwork goes. This year is no different. Here is chapter 22. Enjoy. 




Chapter 22:
Sky


Gardenia looked out of the helicopter window to see a vast expanse of ocean rolling beneath them. She sat in the back of the helicopter while Rowan and Saturn sat in the front. Saturn looked up to check their coordinates on the GPS, and then turned his attention back to the sky ahead of them. “We’re just a few minutes away from the island where the Crystal Orb is kept.”

“And which island is that?” Rowan asked.

“Shamouti Island. It’s right smack in the middle of the archipelago.”

A large island loomed up ahead of them. It was a volcanic island, but had broad shelves of land sticking out from its sides. One shelf had a large ring of ruins on its surface.

“That must be where the Crystal Orb is!” Gardenia exclaimed, pointing to it.

Saturn landed on a large shelf right underneath the ruins. They were able to climb up the side of the island easily to get to the ring of ruins. Gardenia ran toward the altar in the center, her boots splashing through streams of water that ran in curved indentions on the marble floor of the altar. Bright red flowers dotted the hills and cliffs around the shelf, bringing color and life to the volcanic landscape.

As Gardenia approached the altar, she could see a glint of sunlight shining off of an orb sitting under a shelter of marble on the altar’s surface. Crystal light shone in all directions, illuminated by the strong noonday sun.

Before Gardenia could even touch the orb, a large blast of cold air swept her off of her feet and sent her flying into the nearest stone archway. The impact with the rock shook Gardenia to the core, preventing her from standing up on her own until Saturn helped her to her feet.

Before them, a large, golden-colored winged creature hovered in midair. Its eyes were ringed in black, and its head was covered with a golden plume. A rainbow glittered and shone through its feathers as if the bird was shielded by the full spectrum of colors. Gardenia had seen the creature’s image before in books.

Ho-oh, the legendary of rainbows.

The legendary shrieked, causing the three Aquapolians to cringe and shield their ears against the sound. A blast of fire followed after the call, scattering them around the ring of ruins.

Saturn approached Ho-oh first. Gardenia could see him concentrating, trying to call on the power of the sea to help them fight. The water that flowed through the ruins flew up into the air around the fire bird and formed a pillar of ice that surrounded it. A few seconds passed before water started to drop from the pillar until it shattered.

“Damn it!” Saturn cursed. “I wasn’t trying to freeze the water; I was trying to attack with it!” He closed his eyes, focusing once again. Gardenia saw Ho-oh’s eyes train on Saturn a split second before it attacked, launching itself at the blue-haired psychic. Gardenia threw her hands up in front of her face, feeling the tension in her muscles relax and fly outwards in the form of a large blast of air. Ho-oh went surging backward, nearly crashing into one of the stone ruins. A feeling of excitement and power flowed through Gardenia’s veins. So that was what the power of sky felt like.

It felt good.

A blast of fire surged between Gardenia and Saturn, driving them apart. Gardenia knew that Ho-oh needed to be drawn away from the ruins in order for them to gather the Crystal Orb safely. “Stay here and try to get to the orb. I’ll take care of Ho-oh!” She shouted to Saturn and Rowan. A single thought crossed her mind: How was she going to fly? She was born a grass-type, so gravity never allowed her to leave the Earth’s surface. She didn’t know how to lift herself up into the air.

Her muscles started to relax again and Gardenia felt herself getting lighter. Her boots left the ground, and she floated above the surface of the ruins. Ho-oh watched her warily as she approached its altitude. It waited until she was firmly in the air before it attacked. Stars made out of light energy shot from its mouth, swiftly slicing through the air toward their target. Gardenia dipped down to avoid the first onslaught and swung her right arm through the air, destroying the second stream with a blast of wind.

Meanwhile, Saturn and Rowan approached the altar where the Crystal Orb lay. Saturn reached out to grab it, but his hand recoiled only inches away from the orb’s surface. Brightly colored lines of light flooded his vision and he shook his head to clear them away. “There’s a barrier around it,” he muttered to Rowan.

“Then Gardenia will have to drive Ho-oh away before we can get to the orb,” the professor replied, looking back up into the sky, where Gardenia and the legendary were battling it out.

Ho-oh moved in, reaching out to rake its claws against the side of Gardenia’s face. She dropped lower in the air, barely dodging the attack. Reaching out toward its leg, she snatched at its talons, dragging it down with her. The muscles in her arm ached and stretched, but she held on anyway. If she could just drag Ho-oh into the ocean, Saturn could attack it with the full power of the sea.

Ho-oh screeched, beating its wings and releasing gusts of wind downward in an attempt to shake Gardenia off. She held on tight, using all of her strength to pull the legendary into the water. She was slowly overcoming it. Power pulsed through her muscles as they screamed for relief. She needed another force to help push the bird into the ocean only yards below her feet.

“Professor!” She shouted. Rowan’s head whipped around from where he and Saturn were concentrating on the rainbow barrier, trying to figure out a way to break it. Gardenia’s arms felt as if they were going to be pulled out of their sockets. “Help!” She screeched. Rowan immediately knew what she was trying to do. His eyes shone as he focused waves of psychic energy around the legendary bird. The waves forced Ho-oh under the surface, pinning it down beneath the waves. Gardenia broke free and gasped for air.

“Saturn, now!” She screamed, lifting up into the air and away from the ocean’s surface. Saturn closed his eyes, imagining a churning mass of water. Sapphire light flooded his vision, glowing brighter as wind kicked up around the ruins. Gardenia watched as the water beneath her feet started to swirl faster and faster, trapping Ho-oh in a giant vortex of water. She lifted herself higher in the air to avoid getting sucked into the watery depths along with the legendary bird.

A shriek filled Gardenia’s ears as Ho-oh broke free of the whirlpool and rose out of the water, its feathers soaked thoroughly. Anger glistened in its red eyes, and Gardenia felt her muscles tense up. Instead of attacking, it swung around and flew off toward the horizon, leaving Gardenia relieved that she no longer had to fight the fire bird. She slowly lowered herself to the island’s surface, her muscles crying for relief. She felt as if she could fall asleep standing up, and she stumbled to the altar where Saturn and Rowan stood. The barrier was gone. Gardenia stretched out to grasp the Crystal Orb, feeling as if she couldn’t last another second.

The moment her fingers met the smooth surface of the orb, her muscles relaxed and relief flooded her body. She felt renewed by the energy escaping from the orb into her flesh. A blinding crystal light filled her vision, and an image of the large and graceful power of the sky filled her mind.

Lugia was now a part of her being, and its power was addictive.


Mars grazed her knee across yet another rock surface and gritted her teeth. The cable car that traveled up the side of Mt. Chimney only went up so far. The Pearl Orb sat much farther up the volcano’s surface, far above the cable car station. Saturn had taken the only remaining Galactic helicopter, so climbing up the mountain was their only option.

She had expected Damian to complain about the climb the entire way up the mountain. Instead, he was silent, climbing steadily beside her. Volkner had complained about Damian’s attitude when they had returned from Kanto, but Mars knew that he was just grumbling because he did not like the psychic teenager.

A shelf of volcanic rock stuck out from the side of the mountain just above them. Mars hoisted herself onto it, regretting the decision to climb instead of fly up the side of the mountain. They had wanted to draw little attention to themselves during their search for the orb, though. In that case, flying would draw too much attention for their taste.

Damian nodded toward the entrance of a cave to their left. “I can feel energy coming from over there.” His eyes had a pink sheen to them; Palkia was reacting to the orb that held the power of its being. They entered the cave, immersing themselves in an inky black darkness. Mars focused on a ball of light energy, but instead of the usual white light, it shone a bright ruby red. Damian’s appeared in a pearly shade of pink. The two balls of light flew ahead, illuminating the cave and casting shadows in all directions.

It did not take them long to enter another chamber. Several caves branched out from it, stopping Damian and Mars short. They glanced at each other, Mars waiting for Damian to point out the passageway that would take them to the Pearl Orb.

A loud snarl echoed throughout the chamber. Out of the inky darkness of the passageways slunk around five or six Houndoom, glaring at the two Aquapolians. The hell hound in front barked, stepping closer to Damian’s feet. Damian backed up, frowning in concentration. Mars looked around to find her target as the first Houndoom leapt into the air and was blown back by a pink slice of energy. Another Houndoom slashed at Mars, who teleported out of the way, only to be hit by a Shadow Ball when she reappeared. She whipped back around and slammed her fist into the side of a Houndoom’s face, sending it flying.

Damian glanced over at her, his area cleared of snarling Houndoom. He watched as she beat back another of the hell hounds with a blast of fire strong enough to burn through its fur to flesh. It whimpered and slunk back, causing some of its companions to hesitate. Being fire-types, Houndoom were nearly impossible to burn. This adversary meant trouble for them, her fire attacks hot enough to melt rock. Some of the more cowardly Houndoom retreated back into the tunnels behind the pack, whimpering in fright and shame at their own timidity. Damian took this as his cue and vanished into a passageway on the other side of the chamber, leaving Mars to fend for herself.

Suddenly, the Houndoom backed away, leaving one large beast hound to face Mars. Obviously, it was the pack leader. Its muscles rippled underneath its dark pelt, and its horns were twice as long as any of the others’ in the pack. Mars backed up, ready to attack in case it leapt for a close combat blow. Without glancing behind her, she said, “Damian, let me take care of this one.”

Fur as dark as shadows flew into the air, claws slashing at a lightning speed across Mars’ face. The blow slammed her into the floor, smearing her blood on the stone surface. Her mind screamed at her to get up. A few seconds later, she felt paws on her stomach and the hot breath of the hell hound on her neck.

“Damian!” She cried out, desperately tearing at the floor and trying in vain to get the Houndoom off of her chest. No answer came. Mars’ eyes darted across the room. She couldn’t see or sense him…

He wasn’t there.

 

[Salavoir55]

Okay, I guess I can give this a go... I haven't really read any fanfics, but I might be able to point a few things out (I'll try to avoid repeating what others said, but it may be difficult). Besides, your fic looks kind of lonely =(. I hope this review is useful for you instead of being just "newbie advice."

To start with, I must say that this is quite well done and is enjoyable. One of the beginning chapters was kind of slow (I think chapter 2?), and one of the later chapters was way too fast, but you seem to have gotten a good balance by now. The description is excellent and absolutely savory at times, and although I see the plot as original, I can't really say that with authority because I haven't really read fanfics. On a random note, I liked the idea of making Greevil a demon. Now that I think about it, he does look kind of like what we would imagine demons to look like.

Some of your character development this far is done well too. You kind of lack any Pokemon character development, but that's not important for this story. I think you've done Cyrus very well, but I can't speak with too much authority on this seeing how I only know about him from Diamond and Pearl. However, even if he isn't like the "normal" Cyrus (whatever "normal Cyrus" is in the TG world), I think you have done him well. You've made him an intriguing character both for the reader and the characters in the story. You also describe Kris's scenes so well and fill her character with so much mystery that I look forward to every single one of them as much as I look forward to Cyrus's scenes.

So all in all, good job so far.

Now for a couple of "logic" questions. How does teleporting work? For example, why couldn't Mars and Damian just teleport up the mountain? Why did the characters at the beginning have to use a ferry instead of teleporting? Is there a reason that I'm missing which was revealed in your other fics? The other thing is, what happened to Harland? He literally drops out, and Saturn and Kirio do not go back for him despite what they said. It's this last part that bothers me. I do know that he was supposed to disappear there, but he vanishes from everyone's thoughts. Important character or not, it does seem weird that everyone would simply forget about him. No one even asked Kirio and Saturn where he went.


On to picky stuff for this last chapter.

They were able to climb easily up the side of the island to get to the ring of ruins.

Where "easily" is placed right now, it sounds a little strange. Maybe you should place it after "island" or after "ruins."

Crystal light shone in all directions, illuminated by the strong noonday sun.

This sentence is kind of strange. The crystal light is illuminated by the strong noonday sun?

Its eyes were ringed in black and its head was covered with a golden plume.

I think you're still supposed to use a comma before the conjuction joining two independent clauses. This happened a little later on in this chapter too, but I know that at least once in a different chapter you did you a comma. I may be wrong, but that's what I learned. Along similar lines...

Before them, a large golden colored winged creature hovered in midair.

...I'm fairly certain that you're supposed to use commas or "ands" to separate more than one adjective in a row. However, this isn't the only place you did this at, so I'm less sure on this one. Also, I think the words "golden colored" should be "golden-colored." It just looks right to me for some reason. The same goes for at least one other place in this chapter: "fire bird" --> "fire-bird."

A rainbow glittered and shone through its feathers at if the bird was shielded by the full spectrum of colors.

"At" should be "as." Very nice picture here, by the way.

Gardenia had seen the creature’s image before in books.

Ho-oh, the legendary of rainbows.

There probably should be a colon after books rather than a period because the second "sentence" by itself is a sentence fragment. I know writers can break some rules in writing though, so this could be a matter of opinion.

Gardenia could see him concentrating, trying to call on the power of sea to help them fight

Either capitalize the "s" in "sea" or put a definite article before "sea." Otherwise, it looks like you made a typo.

So that was what the power of sky felt like.

It felt good.

I've seen this somewhere, but I'm not sure where. You'd think it would be easy for me to say because I haven't really read any fanfics, but I can't remember. It just looks...familiar. Oh well, I guess there wasn't really anything else that could go there anyways.

Gardenia knew that Ho-oh needed to be drawn away from the ruins in order for them to gather the Crystal Orb safely. “Stay here and try to get to the orb. I’ll take care of Ho-oh!” She shouted to Saturn and Rowan. A single thought crossed her mind: How was she going to fly? She was born a grass-type, so gravity never allowed her to leave the Earth’s surface. She didn’t know how to lift herself up into the air.

Okay, this part was a little confusing the first read through. The thought that crossed my mind was: Why was Gardenia thinking about flying? Looking back, I can see that "Ho-oh need to be drawn away." However, Gardenia needing to fly isn't very clear on the first read-through if one isn't careful and so appears kind of random. I'm not sure how to fix this; I'm just pointing it out.

Sapphire light flooded his vision, growing brighter as wind kicked up around the ruins.

Opinion time for sure; I think "growing" should be "glowing." It just sounds better because light isn't a biological organism as far as we know.

its feathers soaked entirely

Another opinion. I think "entirely" should be "thoroughly."

Mars grazed her knee across yet another rock surface and gritted her teeth. The cable car that traveled up the side of Mt. Chimney only went up so far. The Pearl Orb sat much farther up the volcano’s surface, far above the cable car station. Saturn had taken the only remaining Galactic helicopter, so climbing up the mountain was their only option.

You've done this more than once, and it isn't too bad because the context of the entire story makes this easy. However, it does seem kind of strange talking about a single person (Mars) and then moving into more than one person being there (Damian) without mentioning that there was more than one person. I doubt anyone would notice, though.

Mars focused on a ball of light energy, but instead of the usual white light, it shone a bright ruby red.

This could just be me not being familiar with the world you've created, but "focusing on a ball of light energy" that isn't there outside of someone's mind sounds a little odd. I'm guessing that you mean she focused on this ball inside her mind after which it started forming in reality.

She whipped back around and slammed her fist into the side of a Houndoom’s face, sending it flying.

lol, love this image. "Forget my psychic powers. Take this!" XD

He watched as she beat back another of the hell hounds with a blast of fire strong enough to burn through its fur to flesh.

I think either a definite article or "its" should go before flesh. Also, technically no fire moves of any kind can touch a Houndoom with the Flash Fire ability (which I know you know). But hey, psychic moves aren't supposed to affect dark Pokemon, yet you have these Houndoom getting hit by psychic energy =p.

This adversary meant trouble for them, her fire attacks hot enough to melt rock.

Hmm. I don't know if there's anything really wrong with this; it just sounds a little odd. Consider making the second clause independent.

Suddenly, the Houndoom backed away, leaving one large beast hound to face Mars.

"Beast hound" sounds a little redundant. Maybe "beastly hound" or just omit "beast" altogether. Come to think of it, it may sound better omitting "hound" seeing how you were forced to overuse that word here.

...claws slashing at a lightning speed across Mars’ face

Try omitting "a" seeing how "lightning speed" is more or less a fixed speed in a figure of speech.

Okay, I think I covered it all for this chapter as far as grammar, typos, and some structure goes. I'm not going to review all the other chapters in-depth right now, but I will mention one thing. In the prologue...

To be left with nothing is to be left with no life.

Thus, are survivors truly survivors?

...the use of "thus" really bothered me. I think it would sound better using either "so" or omitting the introductory word altogether. I think the latter is best.


Edit: Now on to general stuff for this chapter.

I can't really find much to say for this. This last chapter was good. Excellent description, and good plot movement. I thought the battle in the sky was sooo cool, and I like the way it wasn't one-on-one. You had all three characters combine their powers to defeat Ho-oh which I thought was both realistic and awesome.

Some things to watch out for is the ideas in your paragraphs. For example,

Saturn landed on a large shelf right underneath the ruins. They were able to climb easily up the side of the island to get to the ring of ruins. Gardenia ran toward the altar in the center, her boots splashing through streams of water that ran in curved indentions on the marble floor of the altar. Bright red flowers dotted the hills and cliffs around the shelf, bringing color and life to the volcanic landscape.

I thought the bolded sentence didn't transition well to the next. Saturn lands and next thing you know they've climbed the shelf. Making the bolded sentence part of the last paragraph or making it its own paragraph altogether might help. It could be that you're simply "missing" some sentences here like duncan mentioned earlier.

Gardenia dipped down to avoid the first onslaught and swung her right arm through the air, destroying the second stream with a blast of wind.

No two streams are mentioned, so the second stream appears to come out of nowhere. I'm not familiar with the Anime anymore though, so if Swift (I think it was Swift?) comes in pairs of streams, there's nothing wrong with this.

Also, I thought there could have been a little more to the sky battle. I would think that they would take more advantage of their terrain (as in, fly around the island, dodge to the side, dodge upward, etc.), and thus the battle would be longer. I still think it was great though.

Two other things. The first is that it isn't obvious that the rainbow barrier around the orb will disappear once Ho-oh goes away. However, Rowan immediately concludes that the two are correlated. I thought that a little strange. I suppose he could know it all (he does seem to play that part in this story), but given the observable facts, he could only give a probability (albeit, a strong probability given (a) Ho-oh's presence and (b) the color of the barrier). Perhaps there's something I missed earlier?

The second thing is the physics of how Gardenia beat Ho-oh. Something, and I can't quite put my finger on it, but something seems a little weird about pulling something heavier than you down through the air by attempting to exert a force downward. I think this is it: What happens when you hang on a bar with your feet about the ground and pull down? You move up. So Gardenia should have been doing chin-ups on Ho-oh's claws because she is lighter than it, I think.

Outside of being heavier than Ho-oh (maybe her powers can make her heavy?), the only way for her to be pulling Ho-oh down would be for her to exert a strong force upward like firing a blast of wind upward (or maybe by causing a strong wind pointing downward and hitting Ho-oh from the top...). However, if that blast of wind hit Ho-oh squarely, then I think they would both move up overall (although Gardenia's arm would be strained as you mentioned due to Newton's First and Third Laws), but I'm not sure what would happen if Gardenia supernaturally held on to Ho-oh and supernaturally sustained the reactionary force (instead of being forced off). They might move down then, but I think that the down they would move would cancel out the up they had just moved, so the net effect would be to stay in the same place. Am I right?


As I said before, though, overall a job well done. Cool chapter. And my predictions about Damian being up to no good are fulfilled (as if that took much effort on my predicting end XD)!

 

[Dramatic Melody]

Nice chapter, though I did pick up some grammar mistakes, but the poster before me already pointed them all out XD (and more that I didn't catch).

The transition from one scene to another came as a surprise for me as they weren't separated well (I didn't see the double-space x_x). Thought you might want to know.

You're getting way better in description, and I commend you for that. =D

Well, not much else to say but good job. =)

 

[Zadros]

After reading a bit, I realized that I'd read the first two or so chapters before...

...and I have no idea why I didn't continue. Seriously, it's amazing to think you don't have very many reviewers when your fic is this good =)

Your writing has gotten a lot better over the 22 chapters. It's a lot more obvious when you read it straight through, like I did. The lengths vary a bit, but are good overall. Each chapter has a decent chunk of plot. I agree with, I think it was Duncan, who said that you tend to skip over the traveling a bit. Especially the boat trip where one paragraph they're only halfway there and two paragraphs later they've suddenly arrived.

It feels almost like two fics at once actually, with all the flashbacks. Must look the firt ones up. I like that you're incorporating cannon characters, but Volkner for one I think could have more depth. He loves Scarlet and dislikes Damian, but that's about all I've seen so far. That applies to some of the other characters too.

Can't wait for the next chapter though =) Sorry for a shoddy review

 

[chosen_one386]

Salavoir 55: My, what a long and helpful review you have there. I'm glad you're enjoying it. A note on Greevil...Um, I'm sure this will be said later on in the story, but I changed his name to Grayson and made him like 50 years younger. @_@ Yeah, but you'll find out much more about him later on.

Cyrus is one of my favorite characters in the series. You'll get more of him next chapter, I promise. And Kris is...well, Kris. She has her ups and downs, her strengths and weaknesses. But, she's meant to be a mystery at this stage.

Teleporting works this way:

Young psychics (5-10) can only teleport a few feet.
Teen psychics (13-18) can teleport at least a half a mile.
Adult psychics (21 and up) can teleport about 3/4 of a mile.
Strong to very strong psychics can teleport more than a mile.
StarClan members can teleport across the country.
Angels, demons, and legendaries can teleport to any part of the globe.

Damian and Mars have legendary powers, yes, but I skimped on the teleporting because I'm cruel like that and just wanted them to climb up the side of the mountain.

As for Harland...well, I originally was going to place him as the power of sea instead of Saturn, then realized that was a mistake and forgot to take him out of the story. I probably shouldn't have shafted him like I did...but I wanted to get rid of him fast...

Grammar mistakes are noted...I'm a bit lazy right now to go back and change them, but once I hit 25 chapters, I probably will.

Um...as for Gardenia's stratagy to pull Ho-oh downward, it was a combination of making herself heavier and stronger and just plain forcing it down with her own power...you know, for a physics student, I sure do skimp on the physics principales in this fanfic...

*thinks of physics teacher* I'm sorry Mrs. Durrence!!! Please forgive me!!!

Dramatic Melody: Well, the first 18 chapters were typed in Microsoft Works, where I could just put dashes for transitions. Now, I use Word and the dashes are automatically changed into a line that I can't copy and paste into posts. I'm going to fix that for the next chapter. Thank you for your review!!

Zadros: Welcome! I hate traveling scenes and believe they are a waste of time unless they provide character development or an importent development, so I pretty much skip them. Meh, almost all of the traveling is done with. The last five or six chapters will all take place in one location, anyway.

Volkner will receive more character development over time, don't you worry.


Okay, here's the deal. Yesterday, I wrote about 3/4 of the next chapter. Yes, I had THAT MUCH free time at school. I pays to exempt exams, let me tell ya. Chapter 23 will be up by next week. Tuesday's my last day and I leave for my summer program on the 14th of June. Expect 3 to 4 chapters up by then. When I get back in July, I will write the last chapters. Looking at the timeline of events in my head, there should be at least 10 chapters left, which puts me at about an August or September finish date, which equals one year of writing for this fic. Afterward, expect the sequel to be up at least a week or two deep into September.

Thank you for your reviews! They are highly appreciated!

 

[chosen_one386]

Along with the end of school comes a nice fat chunk of time in which to write. I wrote most of this during school on Friday and finished it this morning. Here’s chapter 23!



Chapter 23:
Opal


Sinnoh never felt as strange and dark to Scarlet as it did that moonless night. She climbed swiftly up a rock face and onto the cliff that looked over Eterna, relishing the cool night air. Her senses were on alert, and she felt as if she were a wild and primitive creature, excited by the darkness, but saddened by the lack of the perilous silver orb overhead. She waited and watched as Kirio and Volkner emerged over the side of the cliff face, their eyes shining with excitement at their venture in the night.

No words were exchanged between the three Aquapolians. It was as if the three legendaries residing in their souls communicated silently with each other, leading their bodies on a wild and fast-paced mission to acquire the orbs they held so dearly. Scarlet was the first to slip into the inky darkness, her eyes switching to a darker vision setting almost instantly. By now, she could literally feel the way to the Temple of Dimension. She no longer needed someone to guide her to the depths of the mountain.

An image flashed across her mind. She shivered. Blood filled her mind, causing Giratina to shrink back. This was the blood of the purely innocent, not the sinful. The sight of Kris sprawled out on her back upon the altar, her blood streaming into the lines carved into its surface, still frightened her. Her mind shifted back to Cyrus. Could she trust him? His actions said no, but she saw how he looked at Kris during Scarlet’s last trip into her mind. He had almost fatherly affection for her in his eyes. Why shouldn’t Scarlet trust him in her search for the Chosen One?

The passageway sloped downward, causing Scarlet to slip a little on the sudden slope. She looked behind her to make sure Kirio and Volkner were following her. The two Aquapolians’ eyes shone in the darkness, making their positions well known to Scarlet. She slipped farther along the slope, letting her feet slide and carry her downward.

Soon, they found themselves in the chamber where Kris had first entered the Temple of Dimension. The carving of Giratina still lay on the wall opposite of the pool, filled this time with water instead of blood. Scarlet prayed that the walls would not start bleeding while they were in the chamber. She looked at the pool. Surely, there was another way out of the chamber. She could feel a small pulse of energy coming from the wall to the right of the pool. She stepped forward and pressed her face against the cold marble, feeling for any kind of switch that would get her through to the other side.

She felt a cold substance seep through the wall and press against her cheek. Gasping, she stumbled back as the cold, dark substance leaked onto the floor and flowed upward, materializing into a form of shadow. When the dark cloud dissipated, cold, black eyes met Scarlet’s and a shock of surprise coursed through her body.

The woman standing before her had dark-red hair - the color of blood - that flowed down her back and across her shoulders. She was pale, but not in a washed-out sense. The combined paleness of her skin and soft features made her shockingly beautiful. She was a bit taller than Scarlet; the long black dress she wore barely grazing the floor. It was strapless, showing her pale, strong shoulders and the soft muscles of her upper arm.

Her mouth teased up in a cruel smile. Scarlet was taken aback. How could someone so dark be so pretty? She thought back to her run in with Ojinan, an event that felt as if it were years ago. Ojinan was cruel, but handsome. His cruel smile had made Scarlet want to get away from his presence as fast as possible.

“Ah…so the Dimensional Warrior has come to claim her object of light,” the demon purred. Scarlet didn’t know where this new name for her came from, but she didn’t like it. It was as if the demons knew more than they would tell her. “How about we play a little game first?”

“Who are you?” Scarlet asked. She always wanted to know who her opponents were, whether she was on the battlefield or facing a demon who could just look at her to kill her.

“I am Tess, apprentice of Ojinan of the Demon Council,” she replied in a formal voice, implying that she was very important. She stepped forward, brushing past Scarlet and walking up to Kirio, who stiffened as she came near. “And you must be Kirio Karasuma, the power of shadow. Perfect…” She stepped back, her eyes glowing dangerously. “I’ve heard about your little…love affair with the Chosen One.” He flinched as she spoke those words. “She purified you, helped you defeat the Shadow inside your heart. Well…” She pressed a hand against his chest and whispered into his ear. “…I believe it’s still inside you.”

Kirio’s dark eyes grew even darker, his face shifting from a tense expression to a cruel expression. The glow from his pendant dimmed and Scarlet knew exactly what Tess had done.

She had Shadowficated him.

“Now, be a good follower and destroy the power of time for me,” Tess crooned. The dark cloud that had announced her presence surrounded her, covering her for only a few seconds before disappearing along with her. Kirio paused, and then whipped around to face Volkner.

“No!” Scarlet cried, lunging to grip Kirio’s arm and pull him back. He swung back around and smacked her across the face, sending her flying into the pool and slamming her head into the pool’s floor. She struggled to overcome the fainting sensation that clouded her mind. As she struggled to get her head above water, the surface got farther and farther away until she couldn’t see it at all.

<<<<<<>>>>>>

Footsteps sounded out from behind Scarlet; boots walked across a linoleum floor. She opened her eyes just in time to see a pair of black boots step beside her. The cold linoleum was a relief to Scarlet and she sighed. She didn’t drown, thank God. She pushed herself to a sitting position and caught a glimpse of Kris walking toward a figure dressed in a lab coat beside a large circular machine. Wires and steel were everywhere, telling Scarlet that she was probably in a laboratory of some kind. The figure turned around, his eyebrows rising on his forehead when he caught sight of Kris.

He was an old man, though Scarlet estimated that he was only in his sixties. He was shorter than Kris, with light purple hair a similar shade to Scarlet’s sticking out from the sides of his head. He wore glasses, but took them off to rub at his eyes.

“Do you know where Cyrus is?” Kris asked hopefully, rocking back and forth from her heels to her toes in a nervous gesture.

“He’s upstairs fooling around with his machines,” the man replied. “I believe he’s trying to disassemble them. I asked him to give me some of the diagrams for them just in case we need the technology in the future.”

A loud crash sounded from overhead. Both the man’s and Kris’ heads shot up, looking at the ceiling from where the blast had come. The man scowled. “Damn it. He better not have destroyed any of those machines up there. He hasn’t even drawn the diagrams yet.”

“I’ll go up and check to see if he’s alright,” Kris mumbled. She walked over to a steel door on the other side of the lab, slipping through with Scarlet right behind her. They pounded up the stairs and into yet another laboratory.

In this room, wires and steel littered the ground. The center of the laboratory was a mess; the machine that had blown was completely gone, littering the ground with detritus. On the wall opposite of the staircase leaned Cyrus. His hands were covered in blood as well as his arms and face. Gashes lined his hand, the blood smeared across his face from where he had touched it. Scarlet grimaced and looked over to see Kris’ reaction.

Kris gasped at the sight of her uncle’s injuries and stepped forward. “Are you okay?” She whispered, reaching for his hand. He shifted it away, his gaze shifting from his hands up to meet Kris’ eyes. He held them there for a few seconds before he spoke.

“I’m fine,” he said quietly. “The machine just malfunctioned…” A few more seconds of silence ensued as Kris turned to look at the ruins of the computer. A spark of recognition shone in her eyes and she frowned, turning back to look at Cyrus.

“This is the machine you used to create the Red Chain. You were trying to raise Giratina again, weren’t you?” She whispered so softly that Scarlet almost thought the comment was a dream. Cyrus didn’t answer right away. Kris took in a sharp gasp of breath. “I don’t understand why you want this, Cyrus. I just…don’t.”

Cyrus met her gaze once again. “Don’t you want a world without the Shadow? Without pain or suffering? Surely someone who has lost as much as you have would understand.”

“If you do this, not only will you destroy this world, you will destroy everyone in it. Wouldn’t you be…lonely?” As soon as Kris spoke those words, Scarlet laughed aloud. Right…Cyrus lonely? Then she remembered the other side of the Galactic leader. The question actually made sense.

This time, Cyrus did not hesitate with his answer. His gaze changed to one of silent determination as he spoke. “I wouldn’t be alone. I would have you.” The calmness of his words shook Scarlet, who was afraid to walk closer to see Kris’ reaction, just in case Cyrus might address her next. “You’re the only one I would take into the new world with me.”

From where Scarlet was standing, she couldn’t see the expression on Kris’ face, but she imagined that it mirrored her own. “But why?” Kris whispered.

“Don’t you understand? You are the Chosen One, Quamachi, and angel. You are the perfect peacemaker, the only one fit to enter into the new world.”

Kris laughed scornfully. “Perfect? Me? I always thought you were crazy, Cyrus, but now I just see that you are delusional. Your new world would be far from perfect…” She hesitated. Scarlet stepped forward, itching for a glimpse of the girl’s expression. She could see Kris’ mind working through her current situation, desperate to find the final solution.

Slowly, Kris’s lips curled up in a cruel smile. She had found the answer; the one she had been searching for for quite some time. It was perfect; Scarlet could see it on her face. Kris’ expression reminded her of Tess’ face. How strange that an angel and demon could mimic each other perfectly…

“I’ll show you what your…new world would be like,” Kris said in a dangerously low voice. Scarlet wondered what she meant. Could Kris see the future? If so, why didn’t she see her own entrapment only months later?

Something tugged at Scarlet’s stomach, and her head started to spin. The room spiraled out of her vision, taking Cyrus and Kris away from her sight. She was thrown onto a rough, dusty surface, her hair kicked up above her head by a small gust of wind. She pushed herself to a sitting position and looked up at the sky over her head. It was the same shade as it had been during Kris and Cyrus’ fight. Giratina still rose above the mountain peaks, shadowing the ground with its immense form.

Kris and Cyrus stood a few feet away. Kris was not in her angel form as she had been in the vision before. She and Cyrus stood side-by-side, looking up at Giratina. Someone else stood a few yards away from the pair. It was Kris…but in her angel form. How could her two forms be in the same place at the same time?

Angelic Kris walked forward toward the Aquapolian pair. Cyrus turned when he saw her, his eyes widening. Kris didn’t seem to see her. Her angelic form looked at her for a few seconds, and then addressed Cyrus.

“It seems as if we have split from each other.” Her voice was deeper and more powerful than Kris’, resonating with wisdom and maturity. “That is not what I intended.”

“Who are you?” Cyrus asked, hesitantly meeting her gaze.

“I am Quamachi, the Chosen One.”

 

[Salavoir55]

This chapter is very hard for me to critique; I couldn't find much I didn't like (and it's really just grammatical stuff I didn't like). You set up the scenery well and even threw a mini-cliffhanger in there. I don't know if it was intentional or not, but I thought that you fooled the reader well (ignoring the ">><<'s" of course) by making it look like Scarlet was passing out when really she was about to have another vision. (Or maybe both happened =)?) I thought that was pretty clever and brought about at the right moment to make the reader say, "No! Not now, Scarlet!" along with your character.

I'm liking Tess's character development, or at least, what development takes place in this fic seeing how I haven't read your other ones yet. I thought you sneaked in a full description of her very handily. It worked so well and didn't seem (to me) to detract from the story. It just seemed...right to have that description there.

The break of Kris into two forms was rather...unexpected. It was very surprising, and I liked it. It's kind of ironic too seeing how Kris just said something about her not being perfect xp!


I suppose one general thing I can critique is what happened as Scarlet was trying to resurface from the pool. I would have thought she would hear muffled sounds of fighting, and perhaps, she might see flashes of light from the fighting going on nearby. And of course, those sounds and flashes would grow duller as she passed out.

How strange that an angel and demon could mimic each other perfectly…

I may be wrong, but this sounds like a setup for something to me...

From where Scarlet was standing, she couldn’t see the expression on Kris’ face, but she imagined that it mirrored her own.

What is Scarlet’s expression? I think you should have described this because…well…it seems like a lazy way to get around description; effectively, you’re comparing Kris’ expression to nothing because Scarlet’s expression isn’t described. I’m not sure how to put that, so hopefully you know what I mean.

Grammar and picky stuff:

The woman standing before her had dark red hair the color of blood that flowed down her back and across her shoulders.

“Dark red” should probably have a hyphen to distinguish it from dark, red hair even though they pretty much mean the same thing (or if you meant the latter, then put the comma in, of course! =]). Also, the bolded part of the sentence is not clear. As it is, it sounds like her hair is the color of the blood that is flowing down her back and across her shoulders! I’m not sure how to revise this unless you break the bolded part up into a second sentence. Perhaps you should separate “the color of blood” by commas or dashes.

She was pale, but not in a washed-out sense.

Ojinan was cruel, but handsome.

Technically, unless you’re aware of a rule I’m not, the comma is unnecessary here because the second clause is not independent. However, I kind of like the pause generated by it here, especially in the second sentence. So, I’m just pointing the technicality out.

She was a bit taller than Scarlet, the long black dress she wore barely grazing the floor.

This sounds a little strange at first. I think you should either break it into two sentences or use a semicolon instead of the comma while making the last clause independent.

Kirio paused, and then whipped around to face Volkner.

There’s a couple of things here. First off, the earlier comma comments apply here. Actually, the “and” is unnecessary here and can be omitted. Secondly how could Kirio pause when he was doing nothing before? Pausing implies that a person was doing something. Perhaps his expression paused, but I know that’s not what you meant. You meant that he stood there for a moment after Tess disappeared before going after Volkner. I don’t have any suggestions to fix this, but oh well. I guess it is fairly obvious what you meant, and I’m just being extra picky =P.

He swinged back around and smacked her across the face, sending her flying into the pool and slamming her head into the pool’s floor.

Should be swung, I think. I also think the wording of the last clause could be done more clearly, but I can't think of what right now.

the surface got further and further away

This is controversial, but "farther" usually denotes distance while further denotes "more" or "in addition to."

Wires and steel were everywhere, telling Scarlet that she was probably in a laboratory of some kind.

Well, I don’t know about the steel. Steel would imply a construction site. Perhaps “instruments” or “vials” or “computers” or something else would work better here, but hey, maybe these kinds of laboratories use steel a lot too.

He wore glasses, but took them off to rub at his eyes.

There’s that comma again. This one can be fixed by adding “he” before took if you wanted to keep it but be technically correct.

She walked over to a steel door n the other side of the lab, slipping through with Scarlet right behind her.

Typo. It probably should be “on.”

You are the Chosen One, Quamachi, and angel .

This seems like it’s missing something. You can do “and an angel” or “an angel” for the bolded part to fix this.

Her angelic form looked at her for a few seconds, and then addressed Cyrus.

It’s the comma thing again. I’m sure you’re tired of me repeating myself, so I’ll leave it at that.

“It seems as if we have split from each other.”

I think it sounds better as "It appears we have split from each other" because it is a little less wordy. You get three words for the price of one if you take my suggestion.


Good job and keep it up!

 

[chosen_one386]

Wow...would my English teacher be impressed by you! XD As stated before, all grammar errors have been taken into account and when I post chapter 25, I will go back and fix all grammar errors that have been brought up.

Meh, this is one of my favorite flashbacks, but it isn't all that special to me. I guess I threw this in here one day to scare the hell out of myself. Just wait until the next chapter, then imagine watching what happens in real life. It is pretty scary.

I have to admit, Tess is a minor character and I never really planned on focusing on her much. I just needed some more personality in my demons, though. Both she and Ojinan will be back in later chapters, I promise.

Kris' break is supposed to symbolize her two forms: mortal and immortal. Though they are the same, her immortal form sort of represents the past memories she has lost and her true future. Oh, and the whole Kris being perfect thing...well... I just thought Cyrus needed another creepy and crazy statement! XD But seriously, even angels aren't perfect, as you will DEFINANTLY see in later chapters...

Hmmm...when I was writing Scarlet's trying to escape from the pool, I kind of took it in a sense that everything else was blocked out in those moments, including the sights and sounds of the fight while she was trying to elude death.

Setup? Where? >_> Hmm...maybe. You just made me think of something...

Yep, I am lazy... XD Naw, I just completely forgot to put the expression in there. Sometimes, I assume that readers can read the same things into what I write as I do...I meant to put that she had an expression of unease, maybe surprise, but mostly unease. What do you say to a guy who tells you that he would only take you into his new world?

As I said before, this is prime writing season. Chapter 24 is almost done, just a few more pages to go. I'm counting down to my hiatus. I also thought of something...I WILL be writing during my hiatus, and since it is long, I will probably have around 4 to 5 chapters done...which means when I get back, I will just post one chapter, wait for a few days, then post another. So...expect a bunch of chapters when I get back.