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Alone In A Crowd

Gardevoir Girl

is NOT a girl
First of all, this story is about Pokemon/human hybrids. Not Pokemorphs, not anthropomorphs, but simply hybrids. There are differences, but I can't be bothered explaining them here. Now, it’s rated PG-13 (as is most of my writing), because of violence, blood and dark themes. And I know that the chapters are short; I can't do anything about that.

Once again, many thanks to the wonderful Psyblade, who helped me transform the mess of words that came raw from my mind into something worth reading.

Prologue​

In the middle of the night the winds began to pick up, howling shrilly to herald the imminent arrival of a storm. The wind lashed the trees and rushed along the streets, picking up pieces of debris and fallen leaves and sending them flying to distant places. The rain fell in sheets, spattering against windows, drenching the paths and stirring up the surface of the nearby ocean. An occasional flash of lightning illuminated the soaked city, followed seconds later by a deep rumble of thunder that seemed to shake the very earth with the echo of its deep voice.

Despite all of this, a single scientist worked endlessly in his laboratory, letting neither hunger nor exhaustion slow him down. His eyes were bloodshot and red-rimmed, both from lack of sleep and the tears that had long since dried. His dark hair was unkempt and filthy, the air around him thick with the stench of sweat. He had not washed or changed his clothes in days and this was becoming increasingly obvious. The white lab coat over his clothes was stiff from wear and beginning to take on the shade of almost-colourless grime.

The lab around him appeared to have fallen into disrepair despite being inhabited. Broken glass littered the floor, cabinet doors gaped open and a thick layer of grime coated everything. A single desk had been cleared and it was here that the scientist was working. Notebooks and screwed-up balls of paper littered the surface as the scientist sat hunched over one of the books, scribbling furiously with a pen that was rapidly running out of ink.

From time to time the man rose from his seat and paced back and forth behind his chair, muttering to himself. His thin hand passed through his oily hair repeatedly as he wondered aloud if a certain equation would work, his voice often drowned by the raging storm outside. Each time his weariness finally overcame him and he sank down in his seat again, taking up his pen with shaking fingers and resuming his frantic scribbling.

For hours he remained in his seat, not even rising when a particularly blinding flash of lightning split the sky, shortly followed by a power surge that extinguished his lamp and sent sparks skittering across his notes.

In the blackness his hand felt for a nearby candle. He struck a match, illuminating his tired face from beneath for an instant, then lit the candle and set it carefully in a discarded Petri dish. By the flickering glow he resumed his work.

The storm had blown itself out, the night was drawing to a close and the first rays of pink sunlight had begun to tinge the horizon with the first hint of gold when the scientist finally laid down his pen in triumph. The notes spread before him were long and tedious, too complicated for anyone untrained in biology or genetics to understand, yet he could barely hide the satisfied smile stretching across his tired face. He pushed his chair back with a scraping sound, placed both palms flat on the desk and heaved himself to his feet with a weary grunt. He was so tired he could barely stand, but it was worth it.

Or it soon would be.

The lab was so cluttered that it was hard to manoeuvre himself through, but before long he had cleared a bench with one sweep of his arm and begun to work. Carefully he prepared to perform the procedure, tugging a pair of sterile latex gloves over his grime-encrusted hands.

The scientist worked as carefully as he could despite his exhaustion. He could not afford to make mistakes. He could barely see what he was working with even through his microscope; his vision was swimming with tiredness, transforming the delicate microscopic cells into a shapeless blur. His hand trembled but he gripped his wrist to hold it still.

After what felt like years of work, it was finally done.

With a sigh he laid down the delicate instruments he had been using, picked up the thin tube and slipped it carefully into a broad, spherical machine set up beside him. With a whir, the squat steel monster came to life, enclosing the tube inside like a protective mother. For now the machine would play the part of mother, encapsulating the cells during meiosis, nurturing the child as it developed and feeding it artificially.

The scientist leaned down close to the machine, his breath misting on the cool steel surface. “It’s all been working up to this,” he whispered, his voice raspy with exhaustion. “You’re only the first. I have to prove to them that I can do this. I have to continue Tasha’s line...”

He peeled off the glove encasing his right hand, revealing a golden ring on his index finger. The letters MAH inscribed on it appeared black and eerie in the flickering candlelight and the first glow of morning. “I have to tell them…” the scientist murmured distractedly, before hurrying to gather up his notes.

Inside the machine, the cells were beginning to divide. Within nine months a living, breathing child would leave the lab with its adoptive father. It was doomed to be never accepted in society, always shunned and feared among the rare few who knew it because of what it was, forced to hide itself behind a façade of normality.

But, as the now-frantic scientist knew all too well, it was anything but normal.

-- -- --​

A new character is introduced - one with a dramatic secret.
 

dragon_night

Well-Known Member
Third story your writing?*_*(not including the one-shot)

I could find anything wrong with this so far, and you do give a good late-out-in-a-lab-with-creepy-dude-feeling to the prologue. Although I'd like to point out the cliche in this, and it would be the hybrid being an outcast of society. They always seem to be an outcast, not an idol. *shrugs* But that's just me.

Keep up the good writing!(Yay, reviewed you on serebii!)
 
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The Great Butler

Hush, keep it down
Hey, I LIKE creepy dudes who stay out late in dirty labs!

Again, a good groundwork. This looks like something I'll like, so I'll stay tuned.
 

Gardevoir Girl

is NOT a girl
Third story your writing?*_*(not including the one-shot)

I could find anything wrong with this so far, and you do give a good late-out-in-a-lab-with-creepy-dude-feeling to the prologue. Although I'd like to point out the cliche in this, and it would be the hybrid being an outcast of society. They always seem to be an outcast, not an idol. *shrugs* But that's just me.

Keep up the good writing!(Yay, reviewed you on serebii!)

!!! Hi! I'm going to post it on CoD too, but I couldn't get in this morning.

Actually, I'm only posting two at once. I quit Return To Destiny and I'm going to rewrite it. And I seem to have a lot of cliches in my stories, but there's a reason the hybrids aren't going to be idols and that's because their existence is being hushed up as much as possible. The reason for that will be explained in a later chapter.

Hey, I LIKE creepy dudes who stay out late in dirty labs!

Again, a good groundwork. This looks like something I'll like, so I'll stay tuned.

He has a very good reason for being 'creepy'. Also to be explained later. The next few chapters will focus solely on introducing some of the hybrids.

~GG~
 

Gazmof

Zephyr Trainer
O_O;;

Wow, that... That was a really impressive introduction. Your writing style is awesome - you described things beautifully and set the atmosphere to electric. I've never really read any of these hybrid-style stories before but I am definitely going to keep tabs on this - the power of your writing alone is enough to compell me to keep reading.

If it's possible, would you be able to set up a PM list so I can be notified when the next update is made? ^^; I appear in the fics section kind of sporadically at best.

Really great start - looking forward to seeing more of your work.
 

Ayra

~Master Coordinator~
Way too short. You need a lot more detail in order to lengthen the chapter.

~Ayra~;267;
 

BladedScizor

Well-Known Member
Way too short. You need a lot more detail in order to lengthen the chapter.

Just FYI Ayra, you need to actually read the story before you comment on it. Besides, this is a prologue, so it's not going to be as long as a normal chapter.


To Gardevoir Girl, I've been reading your work for some time now, and I apologize for waiting this long to bother posting any of my opinions. As for what you have here, you've painted a vivid picture of the scientist, his surroundings, and his struggle to complete his work. I look forward to seeing where this goes.
 

Gardevoir Girl

is NOT a girl
If it's possible, would you be able to set up a PM list so I can be notified when the next update is made? ^^; I appear in the fics section kind of sporadically at best.

Wow, my first PM list! Anyone else want to be on it?

Way too short. You need a lot more detail in order to lengthen the chapter.

Kindly read the chapter before you comment, or don't comment at all. I mentioned that it's short, and it's also a prologue so it is naturally less than half the size of my other chapters. And don't you think there's enough detail? I mean, going by the fact that I'm worst at putting detail in and better with emotion, which there isn't much of in this chapter, which I did on purpose.

you've painted a vivid picture of the scientist, his surroundings, and his struggle to complete his work.

Another closet reader! I didn't know I had so many! I do my best to put in as much description as I can, but it's difficult for me since I'm better with emotion. The rest of this story will be written from first-person perspective, except for the flashbacks (of which there will naturally be a few, mostly explaining why the scientist was upset).

~GG~
 

Psyblade

Inspiration Seeker.
Here it arrives! The much anticipated AIAC!
Storm, Earth and fire!! Hear my call!! *Earth rumbles and eats psy*
I said passive description is best for you, GG. :)
I can't note much, but my inability to know how grime was splattered so wildly in the lab, which could be explained easily.

Creepy dudes in creepy labs! Admit that something weird is happening.

Anyway, I still insist on the cell devision=cloning/undirect pregnancy, a result that isn't hard to discover.

...Seeing a bunch of half-humans scurry between allies in the night, covering their face in hate and fear...I guess that is what I will read here. :D
Wow, my first PM list! Anyone else want to be on it?

The idea is tempting. :D

You did a great job, GG...and besides, your giving me too much credit. I barely did anything. Still, I am impressed with what changed. I like more insights...Or else I wouldn't feel like that passive description ghost. *Hint hint*

I mean, going by the fact that I'm worst at putting detail in and better with emotion, which there isn't much of in this chapter, which I did on purpose.

Pretty right, this isn't about a dude roaming in outer space...description must be lessened in tight places, or they won't feel tight...right?

More description give the impression of a larger space.

Anyway, it was a little hard to deal with, to be honest.

Anyway, I really look forward to the rest...Am I still beta-ing?
P.S. Strange, I wanted to post and saw you post right after that...a few moments of shared internet time.
P.S.S. What time is it with you now, if its fine for me to ask?
 
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Gardevoir Girl

is NOT a girl
...Seeing a bunch of half-humans scurry between allies in the night, covering their face in hate and fear...I guess that is what I will read here.

Not exactly... you'll see within the next few chapters, especially the second one.

Anyway, I really look forward to the rest...Am I still beta-ing?
P.S. Strange, I wanted to post and saw you post right after that...a few moments of shared internet time.
P.S.S. What time is it with you now, if its fine for me to ask?

Of course yuo are! I can't do it without you! And at the time of your last post, it was four minutes to midday here. Right now it's eight minutes to two. I think I might be eight hours ahead of you.

~GG~
 
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Normalize

Well-Known Member
Pleas tell me he choose a good pokemon to make a hybrid out of. A magikarp/human hybrid would only be good if you wanted someone who couldn't swime. I can't wait to see how it turns out, there are no rules to this so it all yours.
 

Gardevoir Girl

is NOT a girl
Sorry about my long break. Let’s just say that between writing three stories, trying to hatch a new main character for one of them, visiting various forums and struggling with the love triangle that is my life, this story isn’t exactly top of my to-do list. I’ll probably only post one chapter every few weeks.

Now, finally the chapter! Darn… I’m starting to sound like the announcer in this chapter… anyway, many thanks to Psyblade for helping me with the countless changes I needed to make.

Chapter One

Secret-Keeper

Emmaline​

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the final challenge of the Battle Tower! The champion of the Battle Tower is entering the arena!”

The sound of the announcer’s voice was drowned almost instantly in the cheers and shouts that rose from the crowd. Standing just outside the arena, I listened to the applause and felt my heart beating so fast I thought it would burst from my chest. I clasped two hands clothed in black leather gloves over it and took a deep breath to calm myself down. It didn’t work.

“I think I’m going to throw up,” I muttered to myself.

My voice echoed in the enclosed space, coming back at me almost like a command. “Throw up… throw up… throw up…”

My shoulder-length midnight black hair framed my pale face inside the hood I always wore. I could barely see myself in the darkness, but I self-consciously ran my hands over my clothes to straighten them. I felt the zipper of my favourite aqua-blue jacket, the one that I always wore because of its hood, beneath my fingers.

Taking another deep breath, I closed my eyes and tried to block out the sound of cheering. For once my sharp hearing was a bad thing. The announcer’s voice cut in on my thoughts, overly excited as he cried, “Here is the Champion! Let’s give a round of applause for Aaron Ruby!”

My feet, clad in white running shoes, shuffled anxiously beneath my long lapis-lazuli skirt as the roaring rose in pitch again. I felt in the bag around my waist, fondly touching the three spheres that nestled safely inside.

The cheering died away as the announcer’s voice called, “And the challenger, Emmaline Jacques, all the way from Mossdeep City in Hoenn!”

Taking several deep breaths to calm myself, I stumbled on legs like marshmallow into the arena proper. The deafening roar of cheers and applause from the crowd encouraged me slightly. After all, I had gotten this far. I had a chance to beat the champion and I had to make the most of it.

The enormous colosseum on top of the Sinnoh Battle Tower filled my vision. It was huge, much bigger than any of the arenas I had ever battled in before. I had been to Kanto and Johto as well as the region I was born in, but this was by far the most impressive.

I raised my eyes to the sky above, apprehensively watching the masses of black drifting lazily across it. The arena’s blinding spotlights banished the shadows, but I couldn’t help feeling slightly unnerved; it was like a dark omen.

I think I can do this…

My heart thudded painfully in my chest and the fear nearly overwhelmed me. I was completely ready to run, screaming mindlessly, from the arena, but I forced myself forward. My abnormally stubby fingers closed around one of the capsules in my bag and I drew it out, squeezing it in my hand for reassurance.

The champion stood at the other end. He was a young man, his face too plain and flabby to be attractive, his sleek chestnut hair visible even from where I was. I watched him closely, seeing him far better than I should have at that distance. His chocolate-brown eyes glinted in anticipation of the battle as he tossed a red and white orb into the arena, a confident smile on his face.

The orb spun twice and burst open, spilling out a torrent of light that shaped itself into a four-legged feline creature. At the sight of it I felt a growl of hatred rise in my throat, but I forced it back. I had trained myself to ignore such urges.

The many voices of the crowd roared in unison once again and the announcer’s voice shouted over them, “Aaron has chosen his Luxray to begin the battle! What will the challenger send out?”

The long, silky black fur covering the creature’s body rippled in a faint breeze and it stretched lazily, muscles rippling beneath the shorter azure fur over its hind legs, thin waist and pointed face. Its rounded ears twitched at the screaming audience and its gleaming golden eyes seemed to bore directly into my brain. Its long tail, twitching slightly in excitement, ended with a saffron star.

My hand tightened almost convulsively on the sphere in my fist. I swung my arm back and threw it into the air, my lips drawing back in a silent snarl as I did. This time the flood of light formed my partner, a beautiful creamy-furred fox. She danced on delicate paws and stretched her nine long tails gracefully. As her crimson gaze locked onto the opponent, her lips pulled back in a snarl identical to mine, revealing sharp, pointed fangs.

The announcer’s voice drilled into my mind as, amid the renewed cheers from the crowd, he continued his commentary. “Emmaline has selected her Ninetales, and the battle has begun!”

The battle had begun. I wasted no time in calling the first command, the flood of adrenaline already banishing my fear. “Kyru! Hit it with Solarbeam!”

Kyru tipped her head back and danced on her paws as she struggled to gather energy from the bright spotlights. Luxray just stood calmly and waited.

The champion called a command I didn’t hear. Luxray crouched low and launched itself across the arena at warp speed, golden sparks skittering through its dark fur. Its entire body was enveloped in a glowing force field as it charged.

“The champion has ordered a Spark attack!” the announcer cried. “Many powerful opponents have fallen to this move…”

“Kyru, look out!” I cried, my fingers digging into my cheeks in my desperation as I watched the black missile speed toward my Pokemon.

Kyru barely managed to skip aside, the attack merely grazing her fur. At the same time she loosed a powerful beam similar in strength to a Hyper Beam directly at the electric cat. Luxray nearly managed to avoid it but was caught up in the searing ray of light and tumbled back, landing with a screech and a crash on its side on the stone floor. Seeing that the attack was successful, Kyru raised her head and allowed the beam to dissipate into shimmering particles.

“Flamethrower!” I ordered immediately, my breathing beginning to grow faster, this time in excitement. I could see that Luxray was not out yet.

Luxray staggered to its feet, limping and favouring one of its forelegs. Kyru blasted it with fire and it stumbled again, weakened and slightly burned but not quite defeated.

“It looks like all of Luxray’s physical attacks are useless!” cried the announcer. “How will Aaron get out of this predicament?”

The other trainer gave an order and instantly a bolt of lightning arced out from Luxray’s body, striking Kyru a harsh blow. With an uncontrollable, heart-wrenching jerk, she stumbled, her tails trembling from the charge. In an instant she was on the ground, electricity still coursing through her body.

The announcer’s amazed shout pierced my consciousness. “Ninetales has been defeated in a single hit! The champion is still-”

I failed to hear the rest. My mind clouded with despair of the hopeless fight and shame for the loss, tears blurring my vision, I held out Kyru’s Poke Ball shakily and she vanished inside in a flash of red light. I replaced the ball in my bag and drew out another one, holding it close to my chest. “I believe in you,” I whispered, half to myself and half to the Pokemon inside.

A small humanoid Pokemon appeared in the arena. His long, lime green hair fell back from his face as he tilted his head back, feeling the sunlight stream over his skin. The short robe-like membrane surrounding his slim green legs fluttered as he took a step forward. He stood with his white arms crossed over his chest, his two garnet eyes fixed on his opponent.

At its trainer’s order, Luxray released another burst of electricity. My Kirlia didn’t need my command, however; as the red horns atop his head glowed with telekinetic energy, he vanished and appeared somewhere else in the arena in a flash of light. I always felt slightly uncomfortable when he read my mind, but it was useful in battles.

The bolt of lightning struck the ground harmlessly where Kieran had stood only seconds earlier, vanishing before my eyes.

“Kieran!” I called, but before I could finish the command Kieran responded. A shrill cry split the air as Luxray doubled over in sudden pain, convulsing for seemingly no reason as Kieran’s telekinesis drained its strength. It was too much; the cat collapsed and was withdrawn into its capsule.

“Kirlia’s Psychic attack was too much for the weakened Luxray! Which Pokemon will Aaron choose next?”

From the other trainer’s second orb a giant dragon exploded forth. Its tan and cream scales caught the sunlight and it stretched its arms, the sharp claws clicking together quietly as it flexed its hands. It began to beat its tiny, sea-green wings and its long tail left the ground as it took off, stirring up a cloud of dust and a whisper of air beneath its wings. It soared in a tight circle, its intelligent eyes watching Kieran closely.

Dragonite gave a rumbling roar as it swung to attack, but Kieran merely smiled. His eyes glowed and he raised both arms, generating a bolt of lightning in the air and firing it at the dragon. Dragonite swooped sharply to avoid the electricity, which left scorch marks on the ground.

“Dragonite barely avoided the electric attack, which could have done some nasty damage to it in the air!”

With an excited roar Dragonite swooped again, its wings spread out to soar. It struck Kieran with its entire body, crushing him beneath it in an Outrage attack. My scream of fear and despair was nearly drowned by the fresh outbreak of cheering from the crowd.

Kieran was not moving, but the way that his chest was fluttering indicated that he was alive. With a defeated moan I called him back for a rest. My hand slipped inside my bag and I tossed the last sphere, releasing my final Pokemon into the fight.

The weasel-like creature stretched his slim, lithe body. His sleek fur seemed to blot out the sunlight rather than reflect it, as did the two saffron jewels on his forehead and chest. His feathery left ear, identical to his triple tails, twitched in eagerness. He flexed his deadly clawed fingers and fixed the opponent with a cold ruby stare as it swung around in midair for another attack.

“With the defeat of the challenger’s Kirlia, she has chosen a Sneasel as her final Pokemon! Will Dragonite’s strength be enough to make up for its type weakness?”

“Nirui! Hit it with an Icy Wind attack!” I commanded.

The Sneasel sucked in his breath, held it for a moment to freeze it and exhaled sharply, blasting the Dragonite with frozen air as it swooped down on him. It managed to avoid the main part of the attack but its wings, passing through the jet of icy air as it beat them, were caught and numbed. It bellowed as its bulk crashed down on the ground, no longer able to fly. The dragon struggled to move its wings, which were covered in tiny icicles, but the result was another pained roar.

“Give it a Night Slash before it can fight back!” I commanded, practically dancing with excitement. Nirui rarely loses a fight; we can win this!

I distantly heard the comment that made my heart lurch in excitement. “The champion’s Dragonite is unable to move! The challenger seems to be taking her chance to try for a win!”

My overconfidence was clouding my senses and I didn’t see Dragonite drawing back, sucking in a breath, preparing to use its strongest attack.

Nirui darted in, his sharp claws at the ready. He circled Dragonite briefly to see its weakest spots and darted in for the attack, raising his deadly claws. He snarled with premature triumph as he bounded toward it, his outline nearly vanishing in Dragonite huge shadow. Dragonite faced him squarely and too late I saw the beam of light it was gathering.

“Nirui!” I cried in terror.

My warning came too late. The rainbow-coloured beam could not possibly miss at such close range. It hit Nirui full-on and I heard his scream of agony even over the crowd’s horrified gasp. The beam carried Nirui with it, slamming him into the concrete wall beneath the stands and removing half of the wall in the process. Released from the beam’s power, Nirui dropped to the ground like a dead bird.

A dead, bloodstained bird…

Screaming his name, the blood pounding in my ears and blocking out the noise of the crowd, I rushed to his side. The scarlet pool was rapidly spreading around him and his neck was twisted at an unnatural angle. My mind was overwhelmed by panic; I reached out to touch him but recoiled, terrified of the thought that I might feel no heartbeat beneath his cold skin. I did not even have the sense to call for paramedics.

Thankfully, the paramedics didn’t need me to call them. A man and two Machoke, purple-skinned muscular Pokemon that resembled short bodybuilders, were already rushing to Nirui’s aid while everyone else was busy cheering for the champion.

“That was so close! The challenger…”

No… please no…

“…has lost.”

I glared at the champion through tear-filled eyes; he had cheated. It was against the law to badly injure or kill an opponent’s Pokemon on purpose; he should have known that. He should be stripped of his title. Instead, he was simply raising his arms in triumph, recalling his Dragonite and bowing to the crowd.

The announcer’s voice was a distant echo in my ears. My entire body trembled, my gaze switching between Nirui’s prone form and the triumphant champion as the announcer called, “The champion has defeated yet another opponent! He has proven himself worthy of his title-”

At the last word a growl began deep in my throat, rising in a screaming crescendo with the effect of a Pokemon’s roar. The crowd fell silent, staring at me in shock. I neither noticed nor cared; I was running flat-out, charging at the champion with my teeth bared in a snarl, my eyes fixed on him. My fists tightened and released and saliva dripped from my teeth; I was prepared to leap on him and tear out his throat.

I dived, letting loose with another screaming roar. The champion was paralyzed with shock. My hands collided with his chest and in an instant he was on the ground and I was crouched over him, my teeth barely an inch from his throat, my furious ruby eyes fixed on his terrified brown ones.

The crowd was screaming, panicking, yelling at the maniac girl who had suddenly attacked their beloved champion. I heard one woman’s terrified scream and my snarl vanished. I was struck with terror as I realized two things.

In the excitement as I leaped at the man, my hood had fallen back and my skirt had bunched up around my thighs. I felt the long ears atop my head twitching toward the man; no wonder he was so terrified. I turned my head and saw my long, blue-furred tail thrashing wildly from side to side behind me.

My secret was out.

-- -- --​

Phew… that took forever to retype and you wouldn’t believe how many changes I had to make. My original description sucked badly and I had to redo it each time a new Pokemon was released, then went over it again several times after. All right, next chapter…

It’s revealed which Pokemon’s DNA Emmaline has in her body, and a new character is introduced.
 
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Normalize

Well-Known Member
Blue tail, teeth, and floppy ears... A Lucario? I don't know but grat chapter, the "Champion" was an ******* and smug. If my Skitty could get ahold of him! Or better yet, a skitty half human! That would teach him! I need to calm down... Nice plot and Pokemon, I never would have seen you as a girl who like Sneasel or Ninatles.
 

Gardevoir Girl

is NOT a girl
Sneasel was at one time my favourite Pokemon, and I often raise a Ninetales when I play LeafGreen. I like their moveset and speed. Plus, they're cute!

To anyone who's reading this after getting my PM, I'm really sorry it was delayed. I was in the process of posting the chapter when the site crashed, and it's been down for about nine hours. At least, it was down ages ago and I haven't checked in nine hours. I'm really sorry; I'll be more prompt next time.

~GG~
 

Clare

The Dainty Delcatty
Very nicely written with an interesting cliffhanger at the end of the chapter. It'll be interesting to see where this goes - good luck with it.
 

Normalize

Well-Known Member
I wanna say one thing that was confusing to me
My shoulder-length midnight black hair framed my pale face inside the hood I always wore. I could barely see myself in the darkness, but I self-consciously ran my hands over my clothes to straighten them. I felt the zipper of my favourite aqua-blue jacket, the one that I always wore because of its hood, beneath my fingers.[/qoute]
At first i thought she was wearing a jacket over a hodie, if the hood and the jacket are the same thing i think you should decribe them as one. Anyhow, i'm working on the mutant skitty, you shall all learn to fear it!
 

Gardevoir Girl

is NOT a girl
if the hood and the jacket are the same thing i think you should decribe them as one.

Didn't I describe them as one? I don't see how you could wear a hood without a jacket attached to it.

Maybe I missed something in my own story. Can you please PM me to clarify what you mean?

~GG~
 

Gazmof

Zephyr Trainer
Hey, sorry it took so long for me to review.

Great first chapter - not quite as atmospheric as the original prologue suggested but that just serves to make it all the more interesting. I'm curious to see what kind of Pokemon Emmaline is a hybrid of, and how she'll get out of this predicament, as well as people's reactions. I'd imagine it'll be spread all across the media and will send shockwaves throughout the Pokemon community.

As usual your work is very well written, with beautiful descriptions and vivid, dynamic battles. Please do send me a PM when you have chapter two up, and keep up the great writing!
 
UH. Dang. I like this.

A lot.

):.

<3?

Absolutely great IMO. I think I felt myself tensing up with the narrator. HOHOHO. Also, as far as I could see, the grammar was bee-yoo-tee-ful. 8D. It's very refreshing to find someone who understandsquotesandhowtotiethemintoactionsandthelike. Buhuhuh. ...well, I haven't been looking for much here because I'm a newbie, but I'm having fun reading thhiiiinggss!
 
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