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An Avatar Fanfic-The Lost People

flannery lover

I Love Flannery
continued off of "secret of the fire nation"


Prologe

They've done it. The Fire Nation destroyed Ba-Sing-Se.

Even after all the planning, Aang and the others fail to stop the Drill.
The Fire Nation becomes nearly invincible. Sokka and Katara leave to go back to the Southern Water Tribe to defend their friends and family. Which leaves Aang and Toph alone to continue their journey. But while the Fire Nation gets stronger, new people are rising from lost history. Sound, Elecricity, Light, and Darkness..........


so, like the preview?
 
Last edited:

Yami Ryu

Well-Known Member
:/ sorry but this doesn't seem original. Sound, Light, Electricity and Darkness. Well can't 'light' be created by fire, and sound is air based so that's sorya redundant. And the other two are ... :/ blah.

I liked Avatar because it had FOUR simple 'elements'. Fire. Water. Air. Earth. And with water benders you could have ice moves, meaning that these 'specialties' could also be lost somewhere deep within the knowledge of fire/water/earth/air bending :/

Also why would Sokka and Katara just leave Aang? :/ was it in the cartoon or is this a spin off, and also, how would they get back there anyway without drawing attention to themselves, as they'd have been seen with the Avatar aka Aang, and I doubt they'd be able to get transportation easily :/

Sorry just, the preview is too short, and there is the problem. PREVIEW, instead of Prologue. When you have something worthy to post, then post it ;/ Untill then read the RULES and ADVICE THREAD please.
 

One Charmed Dude

~Charmed One~
ok so wait did you make this up or is it like a real preview if yes how do you know the movie isn't even out on tv yet

is it???

well anyway it's sad sokka and katara left... but anyway I suppose it's pretty good...it has structure to it and a little bit of mystery...
 

Yami Ryu

Well-Known Member
I would SO love it if for the love of doves people would READ what I said :/

I liked Avatar because it had FOUR simple 'elements'. Fire. Water. Air. Earth. And with water benders you could have ice moves, meaning that these 'specialties' could also be lost somewhere deep within the knowledge of fire/water/earth/air bending :/
^IE MORE ORIGINALITY >.>

Also why would Sokka and Katara just leave Aang? :/ was it in the cartoon or is this a spin off, and also, how would they get back there anyway without drawing attention to themselves, as they'd have been seen with the Avatar aka Aang, and I doubt they'd be able to get transportation easily :/

Sorry just, the preview is too short, and there is the problem. PREVIEW, instead of Prologue. When you have something worthy to post, then post it ;/ Untill then read the RULES and ADVICE THREAD please.


Rules
Advice For Aspiring Authors

so im not going to post chapter 1 until its out where i live

So then why not take the time to read those two threads, and actually improve your 'prologue' :/
 

One Charmed Dude

~Charmed One~
oh just get a life aside from insulting people Yami Ryu!!! she is waiting to make it better...
 

One Charmed Dude

~Charmed One~
cool I bet it will be great!!!work as hard as you can on it from the way the prolouge looks I bet it will be pretty good!!!
 
Oh for goodness sake.

PREVIEWS BELONG IN AUTHOR'S CAFE, PROLOGUES IE THE ACTUAL START OF A FANFICTION BELONG IN FANFICTIONS.

I'm chucking it through there, might just put a liddle sense into this with more assurance that the chapter won't become this short as well.

When you come to posting it start a new thread though here since it will be the actual fanfic start, you're more likely to get extra reviewers this way also.

Sandra
 
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