iMillenium
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Okay... Keep on at it then... But don't rush it... Don't toss in sexual references that aren't funny...
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[APH - PG-16 - Parody]Hetalia:Asse Powers
- Thread starter TeamRocketGrunt
- Start date
TeamRocketGrunt
WobbWobbWobb Wobrudo
Japan: Konnichiwa, I am Japan, and this show is F***ING RACIST! Anyway, I took sides with Germany because I had to, do I really want to be on the same side as Soviet? Seriously...
Germany: It's great! We have 2 other members as well.
Japan: Wonderful, but can they build a Gundam within an hour?! I DON'T THINK SO! I seriously hope it's not the fat one with the pasta or the one with the porno magazines.
Germany: Well, I don't want to believe it either, but those are the guys.
Korea: *Jumps on Japan* ALL YOUR BREAST ARE BELONG TO KOREA!
Japan: The f***? He is.....pervy!
Germany: Ja, that's kind of his thing.
Japan: GET THE MOTHERF***ING GUY OF ME NO DON'T TOUCH ME THERE NOOOO-
(Dunnn dunn dunn DAH DAAAAH....etc...)
Germany: Japan, were you able to make those tanks using those blueprints?
Japan: Oh? *Screwing an arm into a Gundam* Nah, I had Korea do it. All I can do is shrink stuff. WHY YOU EXPECT JAPANESE MAN DO EVERYTHING?!
Germany: No. F***ING. WAY.
Japan: It's no big deal, actually. See, this is the shrunken tank. *Shows* Korea built it, and we had to "get along", explaining why....my chest has red marks.
(Tank undergoes GUNDAM TRANSFORMATION!)
Japan: That was also my addition to the machine.
Germany: MEIN GOTT!
(Eyecatch. Like I said, fics have eyecatches now, it's new, deal with it.)
(YAOI IN AN OPEN BATH HOUSE WITH JAPAN AND ITALY! Okay, no yaoi, sorry.)
Italy: Germany told me you could shrink stuff. Is that true? Can you do me?
Japan: I'm....not currently doing requests.
Italy: OH GOD AWESOME! You shrank it! Your thing!
Japan: F*** YOU! It's always been that size!
Italy: I'm sorry....
Japan: Sorry? SORRY?! *Gets out katana*
Italy: Waaaah!
CHIBITALIA
Narrator: Damn, Spain looks depressed. What's up with that?
Chibitalia: YO TONTO! What's with the ugly long face?!
Spain: Just get outta my face, kid. You're gonna get eaten.
Chibitalia: The f***?
Spain:Meh, you'll find out soon, anyway.
Chibitalia: ....I still don't get it.
THE ITALIAN WARS!
Narrator: During the Italian Wars, the snotty child Italy was owned by Austria. I guess later the same will happen to Germany, and we'll all die. Anyway, Italy had a sucky life and....the end.
Austria: Listen, kid. You belong to me. All you gotta do is totally obey me and not ask any questions. Any questions?
Chibitalia: Yes...do you serve pa-
Austria: I SAID NO QUESTIONS! (Throws Chibitalia out the window)
(Epic eyecatch again...)
Germany: The two Asian guys in my crew aren't the best. There's that one, who builds Gundams and brags about it. He also always says stuff like-
Japan: I'll think about it. By the way, that means no. SUCKAH.
Germany: His name is Japan. He's rude, yet powerful and intimidating. And then, there's that one. All he does is look at porn and glomp Japan all day.
Korea: Shut it, or I'll ban even this PARODY from my country!
Germany: And then there's that one......
To be continued, maybe!
Italy: Ciao, it's me Italy! We're in the middle of World War II! My we I mean Germany, Japan, Korea, and ME! I know it's historically inaccurate but who cares? We stopped on an island for a vacation and stuff gets all dramatic! What's gonna happen? Find out on Part 5 of Hetalia:Asse Powers!
(Ending.....bleh. Stupid song.)
Germany: It's great! We have 2 other members as well.
Japan: Wonderful, but can they build a Gundam within an hour?! I DON'T THINK SO! I seriously hope it's not the fat one with the pasta or the one with the porno magazines.
Germany: Well, I don't want to believe it either, but those are the guys.
Korea: *Jumps on Japan* ALL YOUR BREAST ARE BELONG TO KOREA!
Japan: The f***? He is.....pervy!
Germany: Ja, that's kind of his thing.
Japan: GET THE MOTHERF***ING GUY OF ME NO DON'T TOUCH ME THERE NOOOO-
(Dunnn dunn dunn DAH DAAAAH....etc...)
Germany: Japan, were you able to make those tanks using those blueprints?
Japan: Oh? *Screwing an arm into a Gundam* Nah, I had Korea do it. All I can do is shrink stuff. WHY YOU EXPECT JAPANESE MAN DO EVERYTHING?!
Germany: No. F***ING. WAY.
Japan: It's no big deal, actually. See, this is the shrunken tank. *Shows* Korea built it, and we had to "get along", explaining why....my chest has red marks.
(Tank undergoes GUNDAM TRANSFORMATION!)
Japan: That was also my addition to the machine.
Germany: MEIN GOTT!
(Eyecatch. Like I said, fics have eyecatches now, it's new, deal with it.)
(YAOI IN AN OPEN BATH HOUSE WITH JAPAN AND ITALY! Okay, no yaoi, sorry.)
Italy: Germany told me you could shrink stuff. Is that true? Can you do me?
Japan: I'm....not currently doing requests.
Italy: OH GOD AWESOME! You shrank it! Your thing!
Japan: F*** YOU! It's always been that size!
Italy: I'm sorry....
Japan: Sorry? SORRY?! *Gets out katana*
Italy: Waaaah!
CHIBITALIA
Narrator: Damn, Spain looks depressed. What's up with that?
Chibitalia: YO TONTO! What's with the ugly long face?!
Spain: Just get outta my face, kid. You're gonna get eaten.
Chibitalia: The f***?
Spain:Meh, you'll find out soon, anyway.
Chibitalia: ....I still don't get it.
THE ITALIAN WARS!
Narrator: During the Italian Wars, the snotty child Italy was owned by Austria. I guess later the same will happen to Germany, and we'll all die. Anyway, Italy had a sucky life and....the end.
Austria: Listen, kid. You belong to me. All you gotta do is totally obey me and not ask any questions. Any questions?
Chibitalia: Yes...do you serve pa-
Austria: I SAID NO QUESTIONS! (Throws Chibitalia out the window)
(Epic eyecatch again...)
Germany: The two Asian guys in my crew aren't the best. There's that one, who builds Gundams and brags about it. He also always says stuff like-
Japan: I'll think about it. By the way, that means no. SUCKAH.
Germany: His name is Japan. He's rude, yet powerful and intimidating. And then, there's that one. All he does is look at porn and glomp Japan all day.
Korea: Shut it, or I'll ban even this PARODY from my country!
Germany: And then there's that one......
To be continued, maybe!
Italy: Ciao, it's me Italy! We're in the middle of World War II! My we I mean Germany, Japan, Korea, and ME! I know it's historically inaccurate but who cares? We stopped on an island for a vacation and stuff gets all dramatic! What's gonna happen? Find out on Part 5 of Hetalia:Asse Powers!
(Ending.....bleh. Stupid song.)
Last edited:
TeamRocketGrunt
WobbWobbWobb Wobrudo
C'mon, an 11 year old wrote this. Glad you like it....any improvements need to be made?
VS
they/she
Yes Gilbert put Gilbert in there and never take him out. LOTS AND LOTS OF GILBERT!
Also it's good so far And Korea was an ally.
Last edited:
TeamRocketGrunt
WobbWobbWobb Wobrudo
This isn't meant to be historically accurate. And I was planning on throwing Gilbert in there anyway.
iMillenium
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Improvements - Kill of Korea...
Here's an idea...
Italy : Here Korea, take this orange coat. Let's be friends.
Korea : Mkay?
Italy : Japan?
Japan : Yes?
Italy : Ready?
Japan : Yes.
*Korea walks out of the house. Japan jumps out with 594776 gundams next to him*
Korea : How da f*** did you make all of them?
Japan : Get your pervy a** out of here.
Korea : But why? But why you no rike porn?
Japan : F*** off.
*The gundams kill Korea*
Here's an idea...
Italy : Here Korea, take this orange coat. Let's be friends.
Korea : Mkay?
Italy : Japan?
Japan : Yes?
Italy : Ready?
Japan : Yes.
*Korea walks out of the house. Japan jumps out with 594776 gundams next to him*
Korea : How da f*** did you make all of them?
Japan : Get your pervy a** out of here.
Korea : But why? But why you no rike porn?
Japan : F*** off.
*The gundams kill Korea*
TeamRocketGrunt
WobbWobbWobb Wobrudo
Korea is the #1 thing that makes this interesting.
I haven't really read it yet, but I've noticed you don't put a space after your colons. It's just kind of a standard thing. Like putting a space after a period.
Correct said:
Less correct said:
TeamRocketGrunt
WobbWobbWobb Wobrudo
My apologies, I'll do that from now on.
iMillenium
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Korea annoys me, obviously... Any day now he will turn around with a immaginary gun and kill germany... In his imagination...
TeamRocketGrunt
WobbWobbWobb Wobrudo
Italy: Hey guys! I found a crap-I mean a carp! Can I eat it?!
Germany: Fine, just don't....kill yourself.
Japan: Yo Mr. Naziman, I got some fruit. You can find alot of s*** if you look a bit.
Italy: Woooah! That stuff's badass! Can I have some?
Japan: Sure, there's plenty at the bottom of that ocean. (Snicker)
Germany: Japan....
Italy: Dudes! Let's swim in here! The water's great! WHEEEE! (Splashing)
Japan: It's not bad here, once you think about it.
Germany: Is it not?
Japan: Yeah....either way, we're still screwed.
Germany: I guess you're right on that one.
Japan: WILL SOMEONE ****ING SAVE US?!
Korea: Meh, I doubt it. Besides, people are enjoying the finer things: Pornography, barbeque, and of course, the classic banning of stuff that doesn't please you.
(Intro....)
Italy: Heeey! I made some preparations for-
Germany: YOU'RE LATE! But okay...
Italy: (Opens suitcase) TAH DAH! You see, I have pasta, pasta, and more pasta. Also, those Gundams and strange magazines are for the Asian guys. They're so weird...
Germany: HOW DOES THAT CRAP HELP?!
Italy: Oh yeah, the war stuff. I almost forgot. I have some for you to use...
Germany: F-for me to use?!
Italy: I spent all night on these babies!
Germany: They're hand-made?!
Italy: Here they are! (Hands over the objects)
Germany: Really, man? Boxes of rigatoni?
Italy: Best pasta ever, dude!
(Eyecatch. I'm not explaining again)
Italy: Germany! I felt bad about bringing useless crap, so I made more appropreate preporations! (Opens suitcase) I ADDED A PIZZA!
Germany: I love how FUNimation pointed that out.
Italy: Don't we all?
Germany: Do you have anything for BATTLE?!
Italy: I have Stefan Gordy...
Germany: No...
Italy: Please excuse me while I make a sandpasta.
CHIBITALIA!
Narrator: Snotty child Italy began working as an un-payed servant for the Holy Butthole.
Chibitalia: These are the ugliest paintings I've ever seen. I'm gonna draw something that'll knock that Austria guy's socks off. Hmmm...I can only find ink and a bru-AHA! (Paints a toothbrush moustache on Austria's self portrait)
Austria: That's just messed up.
Japan: Germany....about our team name....
Germany: Team name? Seriously?
Japan: Yeah...me and Mr. Pasta were just talking about it. What do you think about Ax-
Germany: I'M JUST GONNA SAY IT - I DON'T LIKE IT!
Japan: BUT I DIDN'T EVEN EXPLAIN!
Germany: Fine, explain it.
Japan: You see, our countries will connect and form an axis, and the rest of the world will turn on that axis, so WE'LL DESTROY THE WORLD!
Germany: I still don't like it.
Japan: SAY YOU LIKE IT OR I'LL SLICE YOUR HEAD OFF WITH MY KATANA!
Germany: I like it, I like it!
Japan: Thank you.
Germany: Yeaahh....in German, that would be Eine Achse, I think...
Japan: Sounds badass.
Italy: IN ITALIAN THAT'D BE ASSE!
Japan: That sounds even more badass...minus the "bad" part. You know, I kinda like it.
Germany: Yeah, it has a nice ring.
Japan: So....it's official.
Germany: The Asse Powers.
Italy: At least the Anus Forces aren't spying on us right? Hehe...
America (In a bush) : They're on to us!
To be continued!
Aaaand the ending. Yaknow, it's sorta growing on me.
Germany: Fine, just don't....kill yourself.
Japan: Yo Mr. Naziman, I got some fruit. You can find alot of s*** if you look a bit.
Italy: Woooah! That stuff's badass! Can I have some?
Japan: Sure, there's plenty at the bottom of that ocean. (Snicker)
Germany: Japan....
Italy: Dudes! Let's swim in here! The water's great! WHEEEE! (Splashing)
Japan: It's not bad here, once you think about it.
Germany: Is it not?
Japan: Yeah....either way, we're still screwed.
Germany: I guess you're right on that one.
Japan: WILL SOMEONE ****ING SAVE US?!
Korea: Meh, I doubt it. Besides, people are enjoying the finer things: Pornography, barbeque, and of course, the classic banning of stuff that doesn't please you.
(Intro....)
Italy: Heeey! I made some preparations for-
Germany: YOU'RE LATE! But okay...
Italy: (Opens suitcase) TAH DAH! You see, I have pasta, pasta, and more pasta. Also, those Gundams and strange magazines are for the Asian guys. They're so weird...
Germany: HOW DOES THAT CRAP HELP?!
Italy: Oh yeah, the war stuff. I almost forgot. I have some for you to use...
Germany: F-for me to use?!
Italy: I spent all night on these babies!
Germany: They're hand-made?!
Italy: Here they are! (Hands over the objects)
Germany: Really, man? Boxes of rigatoni?
Italy: Best pasta ever, dude!
(Eyecatch. I'm not explaining again)
Italy: Germany! I felt bad about bringing useless crap, so I made more appropreate preporations! (Opens suitcase) I ADDED A PIZZA!
Germany: I love how FUNimation pointed that out.
Italy: Don't we all?
Germany: Do you have anything for BATTLE?!
Italy: I have Stefan Gordy...
Germany: No...
Italy: Please excuse me while I make a sandpasta.
CHIBITALIA!
Narrator: Snotty child Italy began working as an un-payed servant for the Holy Butthole.
Chibitalia: These are the ugliest paintings I've ever seen. I'm gonna draw something that'll knock that Austria guy's socks off. Hmmm...I can only find ink and a bru-AHA! (Paints a toothbrush moustache on Austria's self portrait)
Austria: That's just messed up.
Japan: Germany....about our team name....
Germany: Team name? Seriously?
Japan: Yeah...me and Mr. Pasta were just talking about it. What do you think about Ax-
Germany: I'M JUST GONNA SAY IT - I DON'T LIKE IT!
Japan: BUT I DIDN'T EVEN EXPLAIN!
Germany: Fine, explain it.
Japan: You see, our countries will connect and form an axis, and the rest of the world will turn on that axis, so WE'LL DESTROY THE WORLD!
Germany: I still don't like it.
Japan: SAY YOU LIKE IT OR I'LL SLICE YOUR HEAD OFF WITH MY KATANA!
Germany: I like it, I like it!
Japan: Thank you.
Germany: Yeaahh....in German, that would be Eine Achse, I think...
Japan: Sounds badass.
Italy: IN ITALIAN THAT'D BE ASSE!
Japan: That sounds even more badass...minus the "bad" part. You know, I kinda like it.
Germany: Yeah, it has a nice ring.
Japan: So....it's official.
Germany: The Asse Powers.
Italy: At least the Anus Forces aren't spying on us right? Hehe...
America (In a bush) : They're on to us!
To be continued!
Aaaand the ending. Yaknow, it's sorta growing on me.
Last edited:
TeamRocketGrunt
WobbWobbWobb Wobrudo
And now, a dramatic scene with Italy and Germany warming up to the fire, while Italy is sleeping.
Japan: We may me screwed, but at least we're screwed alone.
America: (in a bush again)WE FOUND THE ASSE POWAHZ! We gotta kill 'em, for reals yo!
England: They look sinister.
Russia: This water pipe is for their little asse asses.
(INTRO!)
Austria: WHY DID YOU FORM AN ALLIANCE WITH ITALY YOU VOLKSWAGEN WITHOUT THE SWAG!?
Germany: You aren't my Führer anymore, got it? Leave me alone!
Austria: YES I AM! And that Italy is a moro-well, he's smart, but worthless!
Germany: Take a chill pill.
Austria: NEVAAAAH! (Pulls out tazer)
Germany: Can't you just play your stupid piano or something?
Austria: NEIN!
Germany: Get away from meeeee!
Austria: Fine. I'll play the damn piano. (Starts playing)
Germany: That was an ugly piece.
(EYECATCH!)
Japan: (Makes a s'more) Oh yes.....(shoves in mouth)RAAAAHHH! I AM KIKU HONDA, DESTROYER OF ALL THINGS CRUNCHY ON THE OUTSIDE AND SOFT ON THE INSIDE!!!
Italy: I didn't know that was your full name.
Japan: How disrespectful of you! (Smacks Italy)
America: (Still in the freaking bush. You expect different?) Ugh, those morons forgot the chocolate! Also, they're making fools of us! We'll roast marshmallows, too!
CHIBITALIA!
Narrator: Austria is very strict and a very stupid and douchey Führer. He often scolds Italy, because Italy is a rotten little child. He gets stood on if he offends Austria, so therefore a huge rivalry brewed between them. However, there are times when Italy likes Austria...wait, there are?! (Checks papers) Nope, I was wrong.
(Eyecatch)
England: Ohhhhh my dick's the size of Big Ben, all the ladies want it, they want to wank with me-
America: OH SHUT THE F*** UP
(Eyeca-what's with all the eyecatches in this one?!)
Germany: Austria's been living in my house, pissing me off. He really bugs me.
Austria: WHY AREN'T YOU WEARING YOUR UNDERWEAR?!
Germany: Because...it has a hole in the crotch.
Austria: Who cares?! WEAR THE DAMN UNDERWEAR!!!
Germany: Thus, I'm wearing this crotchless underwear.
"Great story, Grandpa!"
(Another eyecatch? Really man?)
Germany: I wonder how Austria is now...
Italy: Ask him, he's been there the whole time playing the piano.
Korea: I noticed that, too!
Germany: FFFFFUUUUUUUUU-
Nee nee papa wain o chod-of f*** it.
Japan: We may me screwed, but at least we're screwed alone.
America: (in a bush again)WE FOUND THE ASSE POWAHZ! We gotta kill 'em, for reals yo!
England: They look sinister.
Russia: This water pipe is for their little asse asses.
(INTRO!)
Austria: WHY DID YOU FORM AN ALLIANCE WITH ITALY YOU VOLKSWAGEN WITHOUT THE SWAG!?
Germany: You aren't my Führer anymore, got it? Leave me alone!
Austria: YES I AM! And that Italy is a moro-well, he's smart, but worthless!
Germany: Take a chill pill.
Austria: NEVAAAAH! (Pulls out tazer)
Germany: Can't you just play your stupid piano or something?
Austria: NEIN!
Germany: Get away from meeeee!
Austria: Fine. I'll play the damn piano. (Starts playing)
Germany: That was an ugly piece.
(EYECATCH!)
Japan: (Makes a s'more) Oh yes.....(shoves in mouth)RAAAAHHH! I AM KIKU HONDA, DESTROYER OF ALL THINGS CRUNCHY ON THE OUTSIDE AND SOFT ON THE INSIDE!!!
Italy: I didn't know that was your full name.
Japan: How disrespectful of you! (Smacks Italy)
America: (Still in the freaking bush. You expect different?) Ugh, those morons forgot the chocolate! Also, they're making fools of us! We'll roast marshmallows, too!
CHIBITALIA!
Narrator: Austria is very strict and a very stupid and douchey Führer. He often scolds Italy, because Italy is a rotten little child. He gets stood on if he offends Austria, so therefore a huge rivalry brewed between them. However, there are times when Italy likes Austria...wait, there are?! (Checks papers) Nope, I was wrong.
(Eyecatch)
England: Ohhhhh my dick's the size of Big Ben, all the ladies want it, they want to wank with me-
America: OH SHUT THE F*** UP
(Eyeca-what's with all the eyecatches in this one?!)
Germany: Austria's been living in my house, pissing me off. He really bugs me.
Austria: WHY AREN'T YOU WEARING YOUR UNDERWEAR?!
Germany: Because...it has a hole in the crotch.
Austria: Who cares?! WEAR THE DAMN UNDERWEAR!!!
Germany: Thus, I'm wearing this crotchless underwear.
"Great story, Grandpa!"
(Another eyecatch? Really man?)
Germany: I wonder how Austria is now...
Italy: Ask him, he's been there the whole time playing the piano.
Korea: I noticed that, too!
Germany: FFFFFUUUUUUUUU-
Nee nee papa wain o chod-of f*** it.
Last edited:
TeamRocketGrunt
WobbWobbWobb Wobrudo
America: Ha-ha-ha-ha! We have to save the world from totally dying. Also, I would hate it if that Kiku guy bombed Hawaii, hint-hint! Sooo....we are gonna kill all of the Asse Powers! (Smacks the chalkboard to let out inappropriate anger) WE'LL START WITH ITALY BECAUSE THEY FAIL AT AUTOMOBILES AND RUN ON WINE!
(intro...)
America: (Being so obnoxious and eating burgers) So let's start our meeting. This guy started it up, this guy who shows power in engineering and runs on sausage. He's like, buff, not that I look at his body or anything, it's like-
England: Ugh, stop eating! I can't hear wha-
America: OKAY! (Starts drinking a soft drink) Sooo...after hours of thinking....I'M THE HERO!
England: Settle down, gentlemen!
Italy: HEY GERMANY! I want you to meet my older brother, Romano. Isn't he cooool?!
Romano: Shut the f*** up and stop b****in'. You can suck my balls, buddy.
Germany: Well, that was pleasant.
Italy: I'm the north and he's the south! So I'm the brains and he's the dick! But the dick spent more time with some guy he likes to call "Tonto". Now you say hi, too, Romano.
Romano: Shut it, pasta bastard. I greeted the potato douche just earlier.
Italy: That wasn't nice!
Romano: SHUT IT! (Strangles Italy)
Germany: I think I see a running gag coming on!
(Eyecatch!)
Romano: POTATO BASTARD! I need to have a word with you about unifying you and my brother.
Germany: What's your problem?
Romano: My brother pretty much worships you! He eats wurst, drives a beetle and a bird pooped on my head. IT'S YOUR FAULT!
Germany: Bird poop is my fault.
Romano: YOU WILL GO TO HELL DAMN POTATO JERK!
France: Hahaha! I sneaked into Germany! Now I can take over the world and-
Romano: AHHH! IT'S FRANCE THE RAPIST! HE DID TONTO IN THE A** NO LESS THAN 3 TIMES!!!
France: Shut it. I'm too wimpy to take over a country anyway.
(EYECATCH!)
Romano: Hey potato bastard!
Germany: What is it this time?
Romano: I have a weapon to get my revenge!
Germany: Is it Verka Serduchka?
Romano: Yes. Yes it is.
Germany: That is just.....I was being sarcastic there.
Romano: TA-DAH! (Puts Verka next to Germany) HAHAHAHA! You look hilarious with him!
Germany: (Tosses Verka) Now YOU look hilarious with him.
Romano: I do?! DAMN IT! Don't look!
(Eyecatch.)
Romano: DAMN IT! I LOOKED FUNNY WITH VERKA SERDUCHKAAAA!
Italy: It's okay, Germany doesn't care about Verka! He's super nice and sexy. He knows how to tie shoes. He's very muscular and very sexy. He's an interesting and sexy guy, don't be afraid of him.
Romano: Veneziano.....can you.....praise me like that?
Italy: Whaaaa? (Steps back)
Romano: AUUUGH! (Italian Despair) I F***ING HATE YOUR F***ING GUUUUTS! (Kaboom!)
Italy: Ooooh, pretty lights.
-CHIBITALIA-
Holy Butthole: Okaaaay...so I'm home, and....AAHHH! Italy in my home?! Umm, I have to make a good approach. (Tugs Italy's dress)
Chibitalia: Hmmm? (Turns)
Holy Butthole: YOU ARE A DISGRACE TO YOUR FAMILYYYYY!
Chibitalia: I'M SORRY! PLEASE DON'T HURT ME! PLEEEAAASE!
Holy Butthole: Wait just a minute. (Walks into his bedroom) Yeeeaaah... (Grabs a wanking pillow) WHOOOO! YEAAAH! WHOOOO!
Austria: Shut up.
(A phone is ringing. A telephone, to be exact. Yeah.)
TO BE CONTINUED...
(Oh my God, guess what? It's the ending song! Yaaay! Let's all sing along!)
(intro...)
America: (Being so obnoxious and eating burgers) So let's start our meeting. This guy started it up, this guy who shows power in engineering and runs on sausage. He's like, buff, not that I look at his body or anything, it's like-
England: Ugh, stop eating! I can't hear wha-
America: OKAY! (Starts drinking a soft drink) Sooo...after hours of thinking....I'M THE HERO!
England: Settle down, gentlemen!
Italy: HEY GERMANY! I want you to meet my older brother, Romano. Isn't he cooool?!
Romano: Shut the f*** up and stop b****in'. You can suck my balls, buddy.
Germany: Well, that was pleasant.
Italy: I'm the north and he's the south! So I'm the brains and he's the dick! But the dick spent more time with some guy he likes to call "Tonto". Now you say hi, too, Romano.
Romano: Shut it, pasta bastard. I greeted the potato douche just earlier.
Italy: That wasn't nice!
Romano: SHUT IT! (Strangles Italy)
Germany: I think I see a running gag coming on!
(Eyecatch!)
Romano: POTATO BASTARD! I need to have a word with you about unifying you and my brother.
Germany: What's your problem?
Romano: My brother pretty much worships you! He eats wurst, drives a beetle and a bird pooped on my head. IT'S YOUR FAULT!
Germany: Bird poop is my fault.
Romano: YOU WILL GO TO HELL DAMN POTATO JERK!
France: Hahaha! I sneaked into Germany! Now I can take over the world and-
Romano: AHHH! IT'S FRANCE THE RAPIST! HE DID TONTO IN THE A** NO LESS THAN 3 TIMES!!!
France: Shut it. I'm too wimpy to take over a country anyway.
(EYECATCH!)
Romano: Hey potato bastard!
Germany: What is it this time?
Romano: I have a weapon to get my revenge!
Germany: Is it Verka Serduchka?
Romano: Yes. Yes it is.
Germany: That is just.....I was being sarcastic there.
Romano: TA-DAH! (Puts Verka next to Germany) HAHAHAHA! You look hilarious with him!
Germany: (Tosses Verka) Now YOU look hilarious with him.
Romano: I do?! DAMN IT! Don't look!
(Eyecatch.)
Romano: DAMN IT! I LOOKED FUNNY WITH VERKA SERDUCHKAAAA!
Italy: It's okay, Germany doesn't care about Verka! He's super nice and sexy. He knows how to tie shoes. He's very muscular and very sexy. He's an interesting and sexy guy, don't be afraid of him.
Romano: Veneziano.....can you.....praise me like that?
Italy: Whaaaa? (Steps back)
Romano: AUUUGH! (Italian Despair) I F***ING HATE YOUR F***ING GUUUUTS! (Kaboom!)
Italy: Ooooh, pretty lights.
-CHIBITALIA-
Holy Butthole: Okaaaay...so I'm home, and....AAHHH! Italy in my home?! Umm, I have to make a good approach. (Tugs Italy's dress)
Chibitalia: Hmmm? (Turns)
Holy Butthole: YOU ARE A DISGRACE TO YOUR FAMILYYYYY!
Chibitalia: I'M SORRY! PLEASE DON'T HURT ME! PLEEEAAASE!
Holy Butthole: Wait just a minute. (Walks into his bedroom) Yeeeaaah... (Grabs a wanking pillow) WHOOOO! YEAAAH! WHOOOO!
Austria: Shut up.
(A phone is ringing. A telephone, to be exact. Yeah.)
TO BE CONTINUED...
(Oh my God, guess what? It's the ending song! Yaaay! Let's all sing along!)
Last edited:
TeamRocketGrunt
WobbWobbWobb Wobrudo
Thank you. I know it's getting worse as I progress, which is weird, but glad you like it
TeamRocketGrunt
WobbWobbWobb Wobrudo
The phone is still ringing. It's Germany's phone! He has such a sweaty face...
(Intro)
Germany: Ugggh. (Picks up phone)
Italy on the phone: GERMANY! DOITSU! DEUTSCHLAND! I WENT WITH THIS GUY WHO SAID HE HAD HIDEKAZ HIMARUYA, BUT IT WAS SATOSHI TAJIRI!
America: Look, I caught Italy!
England: Okay then, I bet he knows things.
Italy: I know things.
America: WHEEEE! We'll force him to work!
Italy: Look at me, I live next door, AND I'VE GOT PANTS ON MY HEAD! And look, I'm Italian! See? See?
America: What'll we do with him?
England: I wrote a letter to Deutschballs asking that. He replied that he needs a life supply of pasta, a football, and he'll murder you if you hold him down.
America: OKIEZ! (Holds up American football)
England: You're stupid.
America: Some Ragu then?
Italy in the F*** Box: AAAUGGH! They shipped me back to you! (Shipping, you're doing it wrong.)
Germany: Welcome back...
Italy on the phone: GERMANY! DOITSU! DEUTSCHLAND! I WENT WITH A GUY WHO SAID HE HAD YAMAPI, BUT IT WAS JAMES ROH!
Germany: What's with you and famous Japs?
France: I catchded Italian guy!
England: He's stupid. We need to lock him up in jail or something. (Feeds him a scone)
Italy: GAAAAAAH! I don't know what that was, but it wasn't pasta, I know that!
England: It's....bad. I see. (Cries in his emo corner)
Italy: Mushed potatoes by Deutschballs are better than this!!!
Germany: (Singing to the tune of Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes) Beer, sausage potatoes, po-ta-toes! Beer, sau-
Italy in the F*** Box: I'm baaaack!
Germany: (Sigh) Welcome back.
The phone rings AGAIN. (Damn, how repetitive!)
Italy on phone: GERMA-whatever, I'm in Africa and I can't tie my shoes!
England: Haha! I caught Mr. Balls by using Italy.
Germany: Ffffuuuuu-
America: You can be Hero #2!
France: Ohonhonhonhon!
Germany: I AM NOT REVEALING EVERYTHING!
Italy: NOOOO DON'T POINT A GUN AT ME! I'LL SAY ANYTHING!
Germany: Now I want the old dick-tator back.
Italy: Ummm...Germany is an interesting guy. He must collect porn and sausage, and not the food, you know? I saw him watching this video that included this girl without any clothes, it was weird! I cannot believe Germany.
Korea: I wrote that!
Germany: AAAUGGHH! I....hate you.
-CHIBITALIA-
Narrator: Italy is a huge and picky eater. What do you expect from a snotty child?
Chibitalia: I'll be pissed if there's no pasta.
(Holy Butthole is walking around and notices Italy.)
Chibitalia: Damn, this s*** gross!
(Holy Butthole is looking down at some food he prepared.)
Chibitalia: Thank all asses holy! I found food! (Starts eating) Damn....this tastes like cow crap!
Holy Butthole: Ugh.
Austria: (Smacks Chibitalia) You are an a**.
Chibitalia: I know you are, but what am I?
Austria: (Throws Chibitalia in a prison) Now stay here and think about what you have done.
Chibitalia: Whatevaaaar! I'm so hungry...
Holy Butthole: Oh I am so dead.
The phone is ringing! It's Japan's phone! This could be good.
Italy on phone: JAPAN! HELP MEEEEE! SUSHI IS SCARY!
To be continued!
(Ending...)
(Intro)
Germany: Ugggh. (Picks up phone)
Italy on the phone: GERMANY! DOITSU! DEUTSCHLAND! I WENT WITH THIS GUY WHO SAID HE HAD HIDEKAZ HIMARUYA, BUT IT WAS SATOSHI TAJIRI!
America: Look, I caught Italy!
England: Okay then, I bet he knows things.
Italy: I know things.
America: WHEEEE! We'll force him to work!
Italy: Look at me, I live next door, AND I'VE GOT PANTS ON MY HEAD! And look, I'm Italian! See? See?
America: What'll we do with him?
England: I wrote a letter to Deutschballs asking that. He replied that he needs a life supply of pasta, a football, and he'll murder you if you hold him down.
America: OKIEZ! (Holds up American football)
England: You're stupid.
America: Some Ragu then?
Italy in the F*** Box: AAAUGGH! They shipped me back to you! (Shipping, you're doing it wrong.)
Germany: Welcome back...
Italy on the phone: GERMANY! DOITSU! DEUTSCHLAND! I WENT WITH A GUY WHO SAID HE HAD YAMAPI, BUT IT WAS JAMES ROH!
Germany: What's with you and famous Japs?
France: I catchded Italian guy!
England: He's stupid. We need to lock him up in jail or something. (Feeds him a scone)
Italy: GAAAAAAH! I don't know what that was, but it wasn't pasta, I know that!
England: It's....bad. I see. (Cries in his emo corner)
Italy: Mushed potatoes by Deutschballs are better than this!!!
Germany: (Singing to the tune of Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes) Beer, sausage potatoes, po-ta-toes! Beer, sau-
Italy in the F*** Box: I'm baaaack!
Germany: (Sigh) Welcome back.
The phone rings AGAIN. (Damn, how repetitive!)
Italy on phone: GERMA-whatever, I'm in Africa and I can't tie my shoes!
England: Haha! I caught Mr. Balls by using Italy.
Germany: Ffffuuuuu-
America: You can be Hero #2!
France: Ohonhonhonhon!
Germany: I AM NOT REVEALING EVERYTHING!
Italy: NOOOO DON'T POINT A GUN AT ME! I'LL SAY ANYTHING!
Germany: Now I want the old dick-tator back.
Italy: Ummm...Germany is an interesting guy. He must collect porn and sausage, and not the food, you know? I saw him watching this video that included this girl without any clothes, it was weird! I cannot believe Germany.
Korea: I wrote that!
Germany: AAAUGGHH! I....hate you.
-CHIBITALIA-
Narrator: Italy is a huge and picky eater. What do you expect from a snotty child?
Chibitalia: I'll be pissed if there's no pasta.
(Holy Butthole is walking around and notices Italy.)
Chibitalia: Damn, this s*** gross!
(Holy Butthole is looking down at some food he prepared.)
Chibitalia: Thank all asses holy! I found food! (Starts eating) Damn....this tastes like cow crap!
Holy Butthole: Ugh.
Austria: (Smacks Chibitalia) You are an a**.
Chibitalia: I know you are, but what am I?
Austria: (Throws Chibitalia in a prison) Now stay here and think about what you have done.
Chibitalia: Whatevaaaar! I'm so hungry...
Holy Butthole: Oh I am so dead.
The phone is ringing! It's Japan's phone! This could be good.
Italy on phone: JAPAN! HELP MEEEEE! SUSHI IS SCARY!
To be continued!
(Ending...)
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TeamRocketGrunt
WobbWobbWobb Wobrudo
America: Okay dudes today we'll discuss each nation's role in this war. I've placed this official looking paper thingy in front of you. First, Limey Dude, you'll back me up.
England: It's one of those days...
America: Flashy Bi Guy will also back me up.
France: Yup.
America: And lastly, Sir Vodka Tetris! You'll have the most important task of all: To back me up. So learn your role stupids.
Russia: (Raises hand) Wait a minute, I have a question.
America: Okay, good for you. Moving on.
Russia: Hold it, I mean...can I ask that question?
America: Is asking if you could ask the question the question?
Russia: Just shut up and tell me what YOU'RE gonna do.
America: Telling you wouldn't be shutting up, would it?
Russia: You know what? That's....that's it. I can't.....work with you anymore. (Walks out the door and slams it shut)
America: .....I'M THE HERO!
(Cue overly dramatic intro!)
England: No way that'll work, Typical American. (Cue look of disapproval!)
America: Shut up Limey-Face. I'm smart!
England: Why don't you go do something productive like beat up the guy with sausages and cheeses? Ever since that Revolutionary War thing you've been on my back. Following me. Wanting to join again. Also, the only thing you think about is burgers and porn.
America: Okay, I have to admit that's true. Just....without the burgers. Also, those pastries you gave me....they were disgusting! They tasted like a pile of s*** a car ran over!
England: YOU DARE INSULT MY SCONES?! Die! (Slices off America's arm) How do you like that?!
America: I can live with it. I'm left handed anyway.
This is a typical meeting of the Anus Forces.
(Eyecatch!)
France: Don't you guys think that's enough? You're getting the USUK shippers excited!
England: Oh, well.....
America: I guess I was a little i-NO I WASN'T! I WAS SUPER MATURE! HEROHEROHERO!!!
England: Here we go. You fail at life, Typical American.
France: Ohonhonhon! Those military outfits aren't sexy enough!
America and England: YOU'RE SO FLASHY!!!!
France: You give me pleasure. Ohonhonhon.
(Le eyecatch)
England: Don't act so tough, you wimp!
France: Shut your face!
China: (Walks in) Ni-hao! That's how I say hi in Chinese!
England: Shut it.
China: Why do Europeans love fighting so much? It's unforgivable! If I work on the plans, I win! We all win! RAMEN NOODLES! (Writes on board) So I decided Chna will lead us, the end.
England: DON'T DECIDE THE MOST IMPORTANT THING WITHOUT OUR INPUT! I...hate that guy.
America: GUY!?
(Side-note: China looks like a woman.)
China: Can you ay "ni-hao"?
America: SHUT IT! (Smacks China)
France: Why are the Anus so dumb?!
(Eyecatch!)
France: We should re-work-out this plan.
Russia: (Walks back in) What did I miss?
All other Anus Forces: (facepalm)
England: Okay...(Starts writing, then reveals epic chibis of the Asse)So if we divide the-
America: YOU FORGETTEDED ME!
England: Then you'll take down Japan.
America: But....I can't do that! I'm a die-hard weeaboo! And also, onigiri freaks me out!
All the other Anus Forces: Typical American...
-CHIBITALIA-
Holy Butthole: Hey Italy, teach me to draw or PAY!
Chibitalia: No, you're an amateur. I can't teach you.
Holy Butthole: Let me just paint a rabbit. (Paints) Uggh...it looks awful.
Chibitalia: Ya got that right! Look at its leg! It looks like a friggin' dick!
Holy Butthole: I hate your guts!
Chibitalia: It's supposed to be like this! (Forcefully grabs Holy Butthole's arm)
Holy Butthole: Aaaaugh! I'm...going home. (Leaves)
(Le ending. My name is France and I approve this chapter.)
France: Hey, Russia. You were smiling the whole meeting, are you just naive?
Russia: Oh? Oh, yes. I lived in a cold and lonely place with jokes like "In Soviet Russia" this and "In Soviet Russia" that. I'm just happy to see people making a racket.
France: Wow....sucks to be you.
Russia: Also, I'll probably have to say goodbye soon. (EVIL FACE!!!) When I see those fags next time, I will smash their faces in!
France: Muah! Zat is lovely!
TO BE CONTINUED!
England: It's one of those days...
America: Flashy Bi Guy will also back me up.
France: Yup.
America: And lastly, Sir Vodka Tetris! You'll have the most important task of all: To back me up. So learn your role stupids.
Russia: (Raises hand) Wait a minute, I have a question.
America: Okay, good for you. Moving on.
Russia: Hold it, I mean...can I ask that question?
America: Is asking if you could ask the question the question?
Russia: Just shut up and tell me what YOU'RE gonna do.
America: Telling you wouldn't be shutting up, would it?
Russia: You know what? That's....that's it. I can't.....work with you anymore. (Walks out the door and slams it shut)
America: .....I'M THE HERO!
(Cue overly dramatic intro!)
England: No way that'll work, Typical American. (Cue look of disapproval!)
America: Shut up Limey-Face. I'm smart!
England: Why don't you go do something productive like beat up the guy with sausages and cheeses? Ever since that Revolutionary War thing you've been on my back. Following me. Wanting to join again. Also, the only thing you think about is burgers and porn.
America: Okay, I have to admit that's true. Just....without the burgers. Also, those pastries you gave me....they were disgusting! They tasted like a pile of s*** a car ran over!
England: YOU DARE INSULT MY SCONES?! Die! (Slices off America's arm) How do you like that?!
America: I can live with it. I'm left handed anyway.
This is a typical meeting of the Anus Forces.
(Eyecatch!)
France: Don't you guys think that's enough? You're getting the USUK shippers excited!
England: Oh, well.....
America: I guess I was a little i-NO I WASN'T! I WAS SUPER MATURE! HEROHEROHERO!!!
England: Here we go. You fail at life, Typical American.
France: Ohonhonhon! Those military outfits aren't sexy enough!
America and England: YOU'RE SO FLASHY!!!!
France: You give me pleasure. Ohonhonhon.
(Le eyecatch)
England: Don't act so tough, you wimp!
France: Shut your face!
China: (Walks in) Ni-hao! That's how I say hi in Chinese!
England: Shut it.
China: Why do Europeans love fighting so much? It's unforgivable! If I work on the plans, I win! We all win! RAMEN NOODLES! (Writes on board) So I decided Chna will lead us, the end.
England: DON'T DECIDE THE MOST IMPORTANT THING WITHOUT OUR INPUT! I...hate that guy.
America: GUY!?
(Side-note: China looks like a woman.)
China: Can you ay "ni-hao"?
America: SHUT IT! (Smacks China)
France: Why are the Anus so dumb?!
(Eyecatch!)
France: We should re-work-out this plan.
Russia: (Walks back in) What did I miss?
All other Anus Forces: (facepalm)
England: Okay...(Starts writing, then reveals epic chibis of the Asse)So if we divide the-
America: YOU FORGETTEDED ME!
England: Then you'll take down Japan.
America: But....I can't do that! I'm a die-hard weeaboo! And also, onigiri freaks me out!
All the other Anus Forces: Typical American...
-CHIBITALIA-
Holy Butthole: Hey Italy, teach me to draw or PAY!
Chibitalia: No, you're an amateur. I can't teach you.
Holy Butthole: Let me just paint a rabbit. (Paints) Uggh...it looks awful.
Chibitalia: Ya got that right! Look at its leg! It looks like a friggin' dick!
Holy Butthole: I hate your guts!
Chibitalia: It's supposed to be like this! (Forcefully grabs Holy Butthole's arm)
Holy Butthole: Aaaaugh! I'm...going home. (Leaves)
(Le ending. My name is France and I approve this chapter.)
France: Hey, Russia. You were smiling the whole meeting, are you just naive?
Russia: Oh? Oh, yes. I lived in a cold and lonely place with jokes like "In Soviet Russia" this and "In Soviet Russia" that. I'm just happy to see people making a racket.
France: Wow....sucks to be you.
Russia: Also, I'll probably have to say goodbye soon. (EVIL FACE!!!) When I see those fags next time, I will smash their faces in!
France: Muah! Zat is lovely!
TO BE CONTINUED!
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TeamRocketGrunt
WobbWobbWobb Wobrudo
France: Seriously? I wasn't invited to the after-party?!
(Le cue smexy intro)
France: I keep hearing they had fun, FUN WITHOUT THE NAUGHTY DEFINITION?! ZAT IS CRUEL! (Approaches conference room) I DON'T GET IT! Try hard, be strong. And not that kind of hard. Not until later. I AM FRA-wait, how many wars did I lose again? Okay, think back. Think when I was powerful!
(Dah-DUN!)
England: Look at that, you're depending on a girl to do your work. Stupid.
France: No, wrong! It was a coincidence you stole my a**, I think maybe God had too much wine letting that happen! I hate you Iggybutt! ALWAAAAAYS!
England: Hey Spain. I'ma kick your butt.
France: I WIN! (Starts smacking Spain)
(Da-DUN! Again.)
Prussia: AUSTRIA! Now how do you feel abo-
France: I WIN I WIN I WIN! (Starts smacking Austria)
Austria: You, sir, are a huge dick.
France: See? I can be strong.
(Dramatic words. Very dramatic words.)
Germany: Guten tag, my good sir. Now can yo-
France: Yes I do want to see the back seat of your Volkswagen.
Germany: Is rape your only hobby?
-CHIBITALIA-
Holy Butthole: Ah? (Spots a rat) A rat...Italy would be horrified seeing that thing. Now to kill it! (Starts chasing it) Hold it right there you piece of-ahh!
Rat: Suckerrrrr! (Gets under some cloth...)
Holy Butthole: I have you now! (Lifts)
Chibitalia: WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU DAMN HOLY BUTTHOLE?! YOU WERE TRYING TO TOUCH MY *SS! WELL GUESS WHAT, YOU CAN'T, YOU PERVERT!
Holy Butthole: Aaaaah!!! (Runs into his closet)
Narrator: As well as the snotty children Italy and Holy Butthole, there was a girl named Hungary, who was in a similar situation to-oh who cares. Now to the good part: Even though she knows Italy is male, she makes him wear dresses.
Hungary: You look so adorable! I wish you weren't such a douche. You remind me of your brother.
Chibitalia: WHAT THE F*** DUDE?! Hey, Holy Butthole! Look! I'M WEARING HUNGARY'S CLOTHES! DERRRR I'M POOR!
Holy Butthole: Haha. Not bad. I think maybe...umm....(gets closer)
Chibitalia: DAAAH! NO RACISM INTENDEEEEDDDDD!!!
Narrator: In this house, the people are always screaming at poor Mr. Austria. Little does Austria know that he finds he loves the feeling when he starts dictating Germany.
Hungary: What's with them? Poor Austria must be suffering! It'd be kill or be killed, family or not....
Chibitalia: If it means killing my brothers, I'm in.
Narrator: Since the Butthole suffers major depression, this makes it worse.
(ENDING!!!)
France: England, hey, quick question, can I....ra-I mean...marry you?
England: Wanker.
To be continued!
(Le cue smexy intro)
France: I keep hearing they had fun, FUN WITHOUT THE NAUGHTY DEFINITION?! ZAT IS CRUEL! (Approaches conference room) I DON'T GET IT! Try hard, be strong. And not that kind of hard. Not until later. I AM FRA-wait, how many wars did I lose again? Okay, think back. Think when I was powerful!
(Dah-DUN!)
England: Look at that, you're depending on a girl to do your work. Stupid.
France: No, wrong! It was a coincidence you stole my a**, I think maybe God had too much wine letting that happen! I hate you Iggybutt! ALWAAAAAYS!
England: Hey Spain. I'ma kick your butt.
France: I WIN! (Starts smacking Spain)
(Da-DUN! Again.)
Prussia: AUSTRIA! Now how do you feel abo-
France: I WIN I WIN I WIN! (Starts smacking Austria)
Austria: You, sir, are a huge dick.
France: See? I can be strong.
(Dramatic words. Very dramatic words.)
Germany: Guten tag, my good sir. Now can yo-
France: Yes I do want to see the back seat of your Volkswagen.
Germany: Is rape your only hobby?
-CHIBITALIA-
Holy Butthole: Ah? (Spots a rat) A rat...Italy would be horrified seeing that thing. Now to kill it! (Starts chasing it) Hold it right there you piece of-ahh!
Rat: Suckerrrrr! (Gets under some cloth...)
Holy Butthole: I have you now! (Lifts)
Chibitalia: WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU DAMN HOLY BUTTHOLE?! YOU WERE TRYING TO TOUCH MY *SS! WELL GUESS WHAT, YOU CAN'T, YOU PERVERT!
Holy Butthole: Aaaaah!!! (Runs into his closet)
Narrator: As well as the snotty children Italy and Holy Butthole, there was a girl named Hungary, who was in a similar situation to-oh who cares. Now to the good part: Even though she knows Italy is male, she makes him wear dresses.
Hungary: You look so adorable! I wish you weren't such a douche. You remind me of your brother.
Chibitalia: WHAT THE F*** DUDE?! Hey, Holy Butthole! Look! I'M WEARING HUNGARY'S CLOTHES! DERRRR I'M POOR!
Holy Butthole: Haha. Not bad. I think maybe...umm....(gets closer)
Chibitalia: DAAAH! NO RACISM INTENDEEEEDDDDD!!!
Narrator: In this house, the people are always screaming at poor Mr. Austria. Little does Austria know that he finds he loves the feeling when he starts dictating Germany.
Hungary: What's with them? Poor Austria must be suffering! It'd be kill or be killed, family or not....
Chibitalia: If it means killing my brothers, I'm in.
Narrator: Since the Butthole suffers major depression, this makes it worse.
(ENDING!!!)
France: England, hey, quick question, can I....ra-I mean...marry you?
England: Wanker.
To be continued!
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