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Apotheosis

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Old thread was pruned, likely because of the fact I haven't had much time to be writing this. Chances are the fourth chapter will show evidence of the whole "getting back into the writing groove" thing. Hmm. Well, I guess I better make this clear right now, to save me some hassle.

This story isn't for people who get offended easily.
-Profane language
-Innuendo
-Likely racist/blasphemous comments
-Other things little children don't like.

So don't read this if you plan on whining, and if you read it and whine anyway, I'm going to tell you in advance to shut the hell up. Thanks.

Anyway, here are the first four chapters of the story, and chances are I'll be back into writing it properly from here on, I've had a lot of coursework and whatnot, so yeah, last chapter was posted on Christmas Eve. Anyway, here's the whole thing thus far. Enjoy, oh, and a review would probably make me pleased. We all like reviews. I like cake too, but a review would probably be better for the time being. Thanks for all readers and reviewers alike.

-Josh
______________________________________

Apotheosis​

Prologue

Filtering through the barely lit window, the light of the moon shone across Reunion. It was just after 5am, and the music club had been shut for an hour. Outside, Solar remained as full of life as it did at any other time. It was the city that never slept, and there was always something going on, all night gambling, strip bars, seedy taverns, clubs. If after dark fun was what a tourist or resident of Solar wanted, they had never been in a better place. Police influence was minimal, and crime influence was seconded only to the influence of the Planetists.

The Planetists were the leading religious faction of the world. They barely had any competition. For centuries there had been undeniable proof of their belief. Every decade a Guardian Angel would appear within the city of Solar and expect gifts and sacrifice, for bestowing the planet of Charity unto the human race. It came to be that the Planetists ruled Charity, and that Solar was dubbed the Holy City. For it was there that the angels appeared. People came from thousands of miles away to witness the angels, and left feeling a better person within themselves. The turn of the decade was less than one month away. And the guardian angel that would appear was set to change the world of Charity forever.

Sage sat in his chair, looking out over the neon glow. His pipe smoked lightly, and the room held a lingering smell of sweet tobacco. His thoughts were of thought, and he was rarely seen outside of Reunion. His world was the music club, and the two small rooms above it that he called his home. A small window looking over all of Solar, a kettle placed upon a stove, a small bathroom, the age old rocking chair Sage loved dearly, and a bed, draped with crimson sheets, and fashioned out of the finest Redwood. His history stretched nine centuries, and yet was clouded in mystery. Nobody knew of who Sage was, or how he had managed to live up until he was Nine Hundred and Twenty Three. His smile was that of knowledge, and his eyes burned with a resolve of justice. His knowledge extended past the known cosmos, as did his intelligence. He was the bright star on a stormy night, and the guiding light to Reach.

Reach sat around a large table underneath reunion. Their headquarters were a small room, which led off to seven separate rooms. They were a group of Mercenaries, who took missions that only their leader deemed justified under her own morality. Beatrix, the merciless assassin, with her perfectly balanced sword, Eve, and her group of Mercenaries. They were the scourge of many, and the saviour of few, but Reach did what they were asked flawlessly, and were renowned throughout the deepest Underground sects of Solar.

The sound of ringing broke the awkward silence around the table. Beatrix reached into her pocket and pulled out a small, metallic object, and flipped up the cover, before bringing the phone to her ear.

“What?”

“I have a request of you, this is Reach is it not?”

“Yes, this is Beatrix. Who is calling, what is the pay, and what is the mission?”

“Who this is, is not important. The pay is Sixty Million, and the mission is to find and eradicate Leonardo Ronston, from the Red Light District downtown.”

Beatrix paused for a moment, Sixty Million? Absurd!

“How can I be sure I’ll be getting the payment?”

“Because it is right outside your door.”

Beatrix narrowed her eyes and looked at the trapdoor at the top of the staircase leading into the backroom of the bar in Reunion. Sure enough, a faint sound could be heard. She leapt up, still clutching the phone to her ear and jumped to the top of the stairs, opening the trapdoor and looking around to see who it was that had been there. A black briefcase was left to the left of the trapdoor.

“Do we have a deal, Beatrix?”

“Yes, yes we do.”

Beatrix closed the lid of the phone and returned it into her pocket, before pulling the briefcase over. She slid back down the staircase, closing the trapdoor behind her, and placed the case onto the table. Opening it up revealed that there was indeed, cash, plenty of it, all unmarked, One Hundred Solar Bills. The other members of Reach looked at her and then back to the money they were witnessing.

“We’re to find and eliminate Leonardo Ronston. We’ll go now. I don’t want to upset our client, especially since they seem to know where we live. Let’s go.”

End prologue.
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Chapter 001: Welcome to the Metropolis

Solar was wide awake, even in the early hours of the morning. The traffic never ceased. Downtown Solar was about an hour from the Reach Headquarters on the train system that interlocked the city, and as Reach headed to the station, the early morning twilight began to creep across the sky.

At the Northern Central station, several homeless people lay underneath cardboard boxes, and graffiti lined the walls. There was a distinct smell of urine in the air, as there was with most enclosed areas within Solar. Red bricks, eroding with age, lined the entrance of the station, and a titanic clock was the ceiling. It was a majestic sight, even if the atmosphere was that to be questioned. The clock was fashioned out of glass, and was extremely well kept. Each of the central stations contained one of these clocks, a minor pride and joy of the Solar architect division. Behind the glass of the clock face were several lights, positioned at each of the hour points.

Reach entered the station, stirring several of the sleeping homeless people. The electronic time display stated that it would be another seven minutes, and the clock read that it was just after 5:20. The artificial lighting of the station beamed down and lit up the entire group.

At the front was Beatrix. Her brown hair flowed behind her as she walked. She smiled lightly at the stares from the people within the station. Her black leather suit clearly identified her slim figure. Flicking her hair back she looked up towards the large clock on the ceiling, the light from behind it catching her deep hazel eyes and making them sparkle lightly, almost dancing. Upon her waist was a decorated leather hilt, sticking out from a black sheath. She flipped her hair back and came to a halt, a few feet away from the edge of the tracks.

To the left of Beatrix, was a young girl, with short brown hair and fair skin. She looked around the station and sighed at the amount of homeless people stood looking at her. She shook her head and walked over beside Beatrix. She was Mikoto, an adept in oriental sword art and an aspiring musician. She looked younger than she actually was, sixteen, and stood only 5 foot 5 inches tall. She wore a midnight Blue tank top, which exposed a small tattoo of strange patterns on her arm, and black jeans. Fastened to her back was a curved sheath, or saya, which housed a medium sized Katana. It was evident from the day Mikoto received her sword it was strange, half of it was missing, and it glowed with a blue aura whenever she held it in her hands. Fastened around her neck was a small gold pendant, with the letters “BG” engraved upon it and a small lock without a key. She closed her deep green eyes and looked to the floor, smiling at the thought of the amount of money Beatrix had placed on the table earlier.

“Damn Boss, you look fine in that outfit.”

“This is the closest you’ll get to seeing me naked Gala; go to a strip club or something.”

Beatrix sighed and smirked a little at the remark from the seventeen year old Gala. He laughed to himself and walked over to a bench, parking himself on it and looking around the station. The artificial lighting beamed down as he looked towards the electronic timer, the train wasn’t due for another three minutes. The light shone across his styled blonde hair and illuminated his sky blue eyes. His jeans and white jacket were immaculate, and on either side of his waist were two silver guns, each engraved with his name. Gala sighed and closed his eyes, awaiting the roar of the train entering the station.

Edge entered the station, a little ways behind the rest of Reach. He grunted at Gala’s attempt to admire Beatrix and walked away from the group. Standing on the edge of the platform, underneath the light, his features were visible. His face was one full of age. Black sunglasses that not even the bright station lights could pierce through were placed comfortably over his eyes, and on his body, a black overcoat, and black trousers. Atop his head was a black hat, which clashed with his straight black hair. The only thing upon him that wasn’t black was the skin that was visible through all of the clothing. Edge shook his head at the homeless people, who were by now transfixed upon the strange group of people entering the station at such an early hour.

The station was filled with the rustling of papers as Reach stood in an awkward silence waiting for the train. The electronic timer indicated it was due, yet there was no sign or sound of it coming. Mikoto began pacing around, growing restless. She wasn’t one who enjoyed sitting around, and always needed to be doing something. She stopped as the tracks began to rumble and the sound of the train nearing the station began to grow louder. Reach edged towards the end of the platform, and stood waiting. The train burst out of the tunnel that led into the station and slowed to a halt.

Several of the carriages were covered in graffiti and a lot of the train seemed like it hadn’t been washed for nigh on twenty years. What white colour there was left had now turned into a musky grey, and gave a sense of foreboding to Reach as the doors opened. The gangway within the train was relatively clean, a few newspapers were strewn about, but it was otherwise empty. The windows were barely transparent, due to the amount of grime, and the lights were yellowed. Reach made deal with what was a common event in Solar, and entered the carriage. Outside, the electronic display read that the train was due to leave in 3 minutes.

Edge sat opposite Beatrix and smiled weakly at her, before narrowing his eyes behind his black sunglasses and asking the question that had been burning in his mind ever since Beatrix had announced the latest mission.

“Why did you accept this mission?”

“Edge… you aren’t going to let your views get in the way again I hope. The reason is because I know of whom we are supposed to kill. Leonardo Ronston is one of the richest drug and women traffickers in the Red Light District. Ask Gala, I’m sure he knows all about him.”

“Beatrix, you know I trust your judgement, however, I cannot say that this mission is all that… worthy. However, so long as I am getting paid, I won’t hassle you.”

Beatrix smiled and looked up at him, “Of course you will Edge, and this is a team isn’t it? We all get an equal share of the payment. One thing worries me though, and that is how our unidentified client knows of the location of Reach.”

“Some things are better left unknown Beatrix.”

Edge got up and walked off, staring out of a barely see-through window. Beatrix admired him for the way he stood up for what he believed in, yet remained secluded and silent at the same time. Edge was a Convict, and had been framed for a crime he didn’t commit. He had been placed under bounty several years ago by The Planetists for the murder of their leading scientist, and had been on the run for two years before Reach caught him, and chose to believe his side of the story. He was now a full fledged mercenary, working under command of Beatrix and member of Reach. It was plain to tell he yearned for his innocence and right to freedom back, however reclusive he decided to keep himself.

The speakers lining the ceiling of the train carriage crackled into life as the voice of the driver sounded through. He seemed old and frail, judging from his voice, and announced the train to be leaving, and that the next stop was Downtown Solar. Beatrix shuffled about in the seat until she felt comfortable, and closed her eyes, drifting off into a dreamless sleep. It would be another hour before the train arrived downtown, and she had been awake all night.

The train picked up speed and entered the underground network of Solar. A large electronic map on one of the windowless walls of the carriage indicated where the train was within the system. A small, red blinking light indicated the train, which moved through a tremendous network of train tracks. The display was labyrinth like. Mikoto stood looking at it, as she always did when she rode the train network of Solar. She had seen the map hundreds of times, yet never grew tired of looking at the enormous infrastructure. The train network was made up of a mainline that went to the five main areas of Solar, the north, south, east, west and downtown districts. Within these districts, a further train line ran connecting key areas within them to one another. Each district was roughly two hundred square miles in size, and the total size of Solar was well over one thousand square miles. It was the second of the great cities of Charity, yet it paled in comparison to the amazing size of High Charity, which was the size of the continent it was named after. Mikoto remembered hearing that it would take a little over six years to traverse the entire rail network of Solar on foot, a fact that she found incredible.

As Mikoto watched the blinking red light make its way from the Main station of the Northern District, she began to wonder what High Charity was like. She had read about it in the Solar Central Newspaper, and had heard of the palace of lords, in which the world government resided, yet had never set foot on the Continent of High Charity, let alone the mega polis that it was. She sighed at the thoughts of leaving Solar one day and continued to navigate the train routes. They were all underground, save for the main stations, and the main network was complimented with an eight lane highway, which stretched out across the Zodiac continent, and around the city of Solar.

At the end of the carriage, Gala sat alone, reading a magazine he bought each week, even if it killed him. ‘Queens’ was the name of the greatest pornography magazine to ever leave the printing houses in the Red Light District. It contained everything from readers’ ratings of prostitutes down to the latest headlines. The magazine was critically acclaimed not only as an adult entertainment source, but also as a fantastic source of information on world events, and as such was the best selling magazine throughout the city of Solar. Gala was devastated at the news of the latest target of Reach, ‘Queens’ magazine was published by a company Leonardo Ronston owned. He sat, and placed a happy face, as he turned the page to a picture of a blonde woman wearing nothing but a small fluffy scarf. He was only seventeen, but Gala was terrible for womanizing.

***
Beatrix opened her eyes after being shaken a few times by Mikoto. She looked around, forgetting where she was, and then back at the smiling face of the 16 year old girl standing over her.

“We’re here Beatrix, let’s go.”

Beatrix flicked her hair back as she stood, smiled at Mikoto and walked off of the train and into the central station of Solar.

End chapter 001.
__________________________________________

Chapter 002: Kill Game.

A light rain had picked up and the morning sun had made it’s first appearance of the day, creeping over the horizon and illuminating the eastern face of Solar with it’s Orange glow. The clock that made up the majority of the ceiling of the station stated it was just after 6:30 in the morning. The station was already full with commuters, and several of the stores within the station were opening up for the day. Reach walked out of the main exit and out to the street outside.

Gala looked up into the sky, feeling the light rain wash against his face. He closed his eyes and yawned, stretching his arms into the air. He felt a brief movement behind him, and saw a thin man in a brown coat run off, clutching his “Queens” magazine in his hand.

“Damn pickpockets…”

He stood and kicked the ground, thanking the train ride for allowing him to read the magazine from cover to cover. Edge walked up and stood next to Gala, turning his head in his direction slightly.

“Gala… you’re getting soft, since when did you let people get away with stealing?”

“Eh… I’m tired, and I’ve read it anyway. So sod it, not like it matters.”

“Stealing isn’t right though Gala, no matter who it is from, or why it is done.”

“Edge, I’ll thank you for not saying that again, I had to live stolen bread and water for two years after my parents died. People do steal for reasons sometimes. It’s all they can do…”

Edge nodded and walked over to a large map, which Beatrix had been looking at for some time. Gala shook his head at the twenty nine year old edge, and looked around, a blonde haired woman catching his attention. He traced her figure down, sublime, as many women of the downtown district were. He smirked and continued scanning the area, making the most of the time he had downtown.

“Have you figured out the best way to get there yet then?”

Beatrix jumped at the sound of Edge’s voice, and broke out of the trance like state of looking at the downtown map. It was huge, showing all of the streets of the district, along with a colour code showing whether they were a main road, highway, or a simple street.

“I think so; the Red light district isn’t that far by foot, about three miles. I say if we go through the main street until we reach this club here, and then follow this road west, we’ll be there in the quickest time possible.”

Edge followed where Beatrix was mentioning and nodded in agreement. Beatrix gave a weak smile before turning around, and shaking her hair slightly. She walked across the road when the traffic stopped, as the rest of Reach followed. Mikoto was always in awe at the size of the Downtown district. A large white building stuck out in the middle of it all, the Planetist main Headquarters. The building stretched further into the sky than any other building in the city of Solar, and housed everything from the government house of the city, to the military base. Visitors were allowed to visit the central floor of the building, however the floors above and below ground level were strictly prohibited. Conspiracy theorists had, upon several occasions, decided that below the building was a huge complex of military structures, with more fire power than even the grand military of High Charity.

Mikoto came out of her thought as an ambulance raced down the street with its sirens blaring. She shook her hair, and allowed the light raindrops to fall upon her face. As Reach continued walking, the rain seemed to quicken, and gradually became heavier. The skies above turned a grey shade and the morning sunlight slowly faded, leaving the city under a tone of grey shades.

Reach eventually arrived at the club Beatrix had pinpointed on the map. Gala perked up as he saw what was above the entrance. Three enormous ‘X’ letters were glowing vividly with posters of strippers lining the entrance. Below the three X’s was a smaller sign, stating “Ronston Strip Club.” Edge quickly walked over to Beatrix, before being joined by Gala and Mikoto.

“It seems we’re in the vicinity of what he controls.”

“Yeah. Gala, you want to go inside and ask about the owner, Mr. Ronston?”

Gala grinned; Beatrix always used him for things like this. He winked at her and walked over to the entrance. One of the posters read out that it was a 24 hour club, as many within the area were. The two large doors slid open, revealing a crimson carpeted entrance hall. The walls were lined with small, shell shaped lights, emitting a gentle pink glow. The ceiling heralded a painting portraying a mass of female bodies, all naked and in some way linked to one another. Several framed issues of the “Queens” magazine were along the right hand wall. The 1st issue, with a girl dressed in a white cat costume and the name “Katherine” across the bottom, the 50th issue was next to it, with a front cover not of a woman, but of a large explosion. No headline was present, but a small plaque at the bottom, upon closer inspection, stated that it was the only issue of Queens to have been published without a woman on the cover.

Gala continued down the corridor, which seemed to go on for ages, until he finally reached a doorway which heralded a sign saying ‘reception’ above it. He entered the foyer, a faint ambience dancing around on the air. A woman dressed in a black dress was at the desk. As Gala approached her features came into view, she was young, with brown hair that grew down to her shoulders, her face was young and well kept, and her figure, was something that especially caught Gala’s eye.
“Hello, and welcome to Ronston’s. How may I help a fine man like you?”

The way in which she spoke was seductive, and her body language was nothing short of arousing for Gala. As she spoke she leaned over the desk, placing her hands under her chin, and looking directly into the eyes of Gala.

“Um… hello, I’m here to inquire about the manager and owner, unfortunately. Is he around?”

“You’d be the first person to come in here asking for a man… he’s here. I’ll call him through for you. Can you give me five minutes?”

This is too easy… “Yeah sure I can, take your time.”

The woman sat up and walked through a lace curtain behind the desk, walking in such a way that all parts of her body seemed to move, in perfect rhythm. Gala stared at the lace curtains, gently swaying from side to side, for a brief moment, before pulling out a small phone from his pocket and typing in the number to Beatrix’ phone. As the phone rang, several cheers came from a doorway to the left of the desk, before the room returned to the peaceful ambience. The phone was eventually answered, and Gala could hear from the receiver, that outside, the rain had taken a turn for the worse.

“Hello Gala, is he there?”

“He is boss; you guys want to come in?”

“We’d love to Gala, really we would, but it seems we can’t, the place has been closed. The streets out here are flooding, this rain is pathetic.”

“Are you for real? Then what the hell am I supposed to do?”

“Finish the mission yourself; you can have 90% of the pay. Kill Leonardo Ronston, and then find a way out of there before his men find and kill you.”

Fuck she think I am? “Are you serious?”

“Do it Gala, that’s an order. Beatrix out.”

The phone went dead, as Gala slowly removed it from his ear and wondering how the hell he was going to kill this man, who he treated as some form of idol, himself. He replaced the phone and looked down at the carpet. The crimson and black patterns were hypnotic, several spirals forming one large spiralling shape after the other. He looked up as he felt himself get dizzy, and took out one of his two Silver pistols.

They were handcrafted from pure silver, and bore an engraving of his name upon their sides. The barrel held 16 rounds and fired 2 shots per pull of the trigger. The handle contained several electronic security devices, which executed if anyone but Gala held the gun in the action position. Fingerprint encoding ran across the trigger, and if the prints weren’t recognized, the gun locked itself down, before releasing a toxic gas, that eroded the lungs of whoever was handling it. The gun was as dangerous to anyone but Gala both at gunpoint and if the gun was in their hands.

He checked the barrel, fully stocked. He quickly replaced it into it’s holster as footsteps came from behind the lace curtain. The woman that had been at the reception entered through the curtain once more, and resumed sitting down in her seat behind the desk. She looked up at Gala and sighed,

“He’s down there, just go through, he’s too fat and lazy to come up here.”

She motioned to the side of the desk, and turned away from Gala, pulling out a nail file as she did so, and entered a world of her own. Gala was taken slightly aback by the lack of security Leonardo had with him, but then remembered nobody would dare kill the man behind Queens’s magazine. He sighed, feeling the pistols in his pockets, and walked behind the desk and through the lace curtain.

Before him, a purple neon glow led the way down a staircase. The colour of the floor was uncertain, as the lighting created an eerie darkness. As Gala neared the bottom, voices and laughter could be heard, gaining volume as he proceeded downwards. Another lace curtain came into view as the voices came into full hearing distance. Gala picked up speed as the lights allowed more vision the closer to the bottom he got. He stood before the lace curtain, and slowly opened it up, stepping into a smoke filled room.

“Ah, you must be the kid that wanted to see me, what is it my boy?”

A round, obese man was sat opposite the doorway, a cigar sticking out of his mouth. His hair was greying brown and combed backwards, and over his torso was a black pinstripe suit, complete with a crimson tie and black velvet shirt. Behind him were two women dressed in outfits exposing areas of their body Gala didn’t even know existed. One was holding a tray of drinks, and the other a tray of cigars. Sat on the table around him were several men, all threatening in their own unique way. They all glared at gala, in contrast to the huge grin spread across Leonardo’s face.

“Yes, you’re Mr. Ronston, aren’t you?”

“That’s right my boy! Richest guy in town! Well, that isn’t a Planetist leader of course! Gyahahah! How may I be of service?”

Gala looked around the room, behind him was the staircase, and to his left was a doorway. He was aware he was underground, the staircase was long enough to warrant that. He felt the guns rub against his legs, and began sweating slightly, realising he had no idea of how he was going to escape. The question Leonardo had asked rang in his ears, and he took a moment to think of what to say.

“I have a message, from who I’ve got no idea, but I’ve been asked to send you it nonetheless.”

“Well my boy, what is this message? As you can see, ha-ha, I’m a busy man!”

Leonardo walked around the room towards the door on the left hand side, under the cold stare of the men sat around the table. He hadn’t noticed until now that each of the men was abnormally abundant in muscle mass, and all had distinct blonde, spiky hair. He sighed, and reached into his jacket, placing his hand on the gun handle,

“The message is…” I can’t believe I’m about to kill this guy… damn it! “The message is that you need to be killed.”

As the word ‘killed’ left his lips, Gala took out his guns and brought them up to level with Leonardo Ronston’s head, before pulling the triggers and sending four bullets searing through the air. The sound that erupted was deafening and enveloped the room, causing the men around the table to duck down and the two women to drop what they were carrying and run to the opposite side of the room.

Gala looked towards Leonardo, the four bullets had made direct contact with and ripped through his skull, leaving a bloody mess across his clothes and body. As Leonardo collapsed to the floor, much to the disbelief of the men around the table, Gala pulled open the door and bolted through, replacing his guns into their holsters.

As he exploded down the corridor, Gala heard shouts from the room he had just left, and the sound of footsteps entering the corridor he was running along. He had no idea as to where it led, all he knew is that he couldn’t face up to the challenge of eight or nine men, each one as muscled as the other. He gritted his teeth and pushed onwards.

A green light erupted from behind him and began to take over the entire corridor, a tremendous group of roars followed and the sound of steps began drawing extremely close to Gala, causing him to press on, increasing his running speed as much as he could.

With the green light illuminating the corridor, a staircase came into view, less than a hundred and fifty yards from where Gala was. He reached the staircase and began climbing them as fast as his legs would allow, taking some stairs as much as five at a time. As he climbed he pulled black his sleeve, revealing a small watch with several buttons on it. He pressed in one of them, causing a small green light to blink, and pulled his sleeve back to its original position. He felt a little more secure, knowing he had activated the Reach GPS system, now the rest of the team would know where he was, or at least where he was going.

The feeling of safety was shattered as he felt something rip at his leg and then fall away once more. He wanted to turn and look what those men had changed into, but decided against it in the favour of speed. The stairs seemed to be going on forever, the lights on the sides of them bearing extreme resemblance to those on the other staircase he had descended only a few minutes earlier.

He began to feel a slight pain in his legs as he continued his way up the stairs, his body was becoming oxygen starved. Damn it, I won’t be able to keep this speed up much longer… Gala felt another grab at his ankles and a loud snarl, and a thought struck him, he almost slapped himself for not doing what he planned before hand.

He reached for his guns, and took them out of his pockets. He grinned slightly and spun around, falling to a seat on one of the steps, before shooting straight down the staircase. He heard several howls of pain and emptied the barrels of both guns. He quickly replaced them and stood up once more, resuming his sprint up the stairs, and praying that he was near the end of the climb.

He slowed down slightly, feeling a little safer, in the knowledge that he had just shot the hell out of whatever it was pursuing him. Eventually, after another few minutes had passed, he reached level ground, which held a doorway, similar to the one he had entered this corridor and staircase from. He opened it up and stepped out of the corridor, finding himself outside, atop the roof of a building. The rain came down in torrents, drenching him almost instantaneously.

Gala walked over to the edge of the building, and looked down to the streets below. Sure enough, they were almost like a river. In such a short time the rain had increased enough to turn the mighty sewers of Solar into a waste. He shook his head violently, allowing some of the water to escape from his hair, before sitting down on the edge of the rooftop, and allowing the rain to fall upon him, as he rested his legs, which were burning from the extreme exercise they had just partaken in.

He closed his eyes as the water continued to stream down his face, as Gala wondered where the rest of Reach had gotten to. The GPS system had been running for long enough to enable them to locate where he was by now. He guessed the rain had stopped the group from accessing him easily, especially considering his location. As he felt the rain, it seemed as though something else was in an instant of his face. Opening his eyes, he was confronted with a pair of large yellow eyes. He fell back in shock, and began falling from atop the building he was perched upon.

End of Chapter 002.
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Chapter 003: Peppered Steak

Gala attempted to grab onto the roof of the building, but found himself plummeting to the river below. Above, through the rain, Gala could make out one of the creatures that had been chasing him jump off the building and fall downwards directly towards where he was. The building, however high it was, seemed to go on forever and the descent never ceased as Gala pulled out his guns and loaded them whilst plummeting downwards. The guns were both quickly loaded and Gala took aim at the creature that was now only a few feet above him.

The sound of Bullets erupting from both of the guns pierced the air and a split second later, a screech of pain from the green creature. The four bullets Gala had fired had all hit their target in the chest, causing blood to explode out of the creature’s body and join in the descent towards the planet. Gala quickly placed both of the guns back into their holsters and spun around, only to see that the ground was not a river at all, and had just looked like water from the top of the building.

As the ground came into clear view, Gala closed his eyes, and awaited the impending doom that awaited him upon impact. He expected thoughts of his life to begin rushing through his head, however none came, and all he saw within his minds eye was nothingness. He felt a sudden jolt, yet didn’t open his eyes and assumed it to be the creature colliding with him as they fell.

The feeling of moving downwards escaped him, and Gala felt as if he were moving with the winds. He opened his eyes to see the arm of someone around his middle. He traced the arm to the head of what appeared to be a girl, and saw Mikoto, a look of determination in her eyes, clinging to a rope.

“What the hell?”

“Aww don’t worry Gala, you blacked out, a little fall was all it was, and we’ll be on solid ground soon enough.”

Mikoto grinned, a playful look of sarcasm in her eyes, contrasting to the determination from a few minor seconds before. Gala sighed and shook his head, knowing that Reach was going to mock him for quite some time for blacking out and being scared of falling from a building, when he knew that the GPS was activated. He looked at the streets below, rushing by as he and Mikoto swung around the building on a large rope.

“Uhh… Mikoto, what’s this thing attached to?”

“Oh, just one of the rooms, we’re almost back to where we started.”

Sure enough, a few moments later, Mikoto swung into a large, well-lit room of the building, in which the rest of Reach stood, looking towards Gala. He and Mikoto both stood up after a landing graceful enough to win the Olympics ten times over.

“Did you kill him then?”

The voice was that of Beatrix.

“Yeah, he’s dead, something gave chase, but I killed three of them on my way up to the roof and one of them just as I was falling. I get Ninety percent of the pay right?”

Beatrix smirked and walked towards the door, flicking a little of the rainwater left in her hair to the floor and motioned for the rest of Reach to follow.

“Yeah, you get Ninety percent; now let’s go see what it was chasing you.”

As he left the room, Gala realised how wet his clothes were. He looked out of the window of the room at the rain outside. It was as if a grey sheet had enveloped the entire city, the rain was torrential. He shook his head and followed the rest of the group along a small corridor lined with apartment doors and into a stairwell. The faint smell of cabbage gave the air a distinct aroma that set apartment blocks from any other building. The walls of the stairwell were painted yellow, and were rotting in several areas, mostly closest to where wall met ceiling and floor.

“Don’t I get any thanks for saving you from falling then Gala? I risked my life with that rope too you know.”

“Sorry Mikoto, I owe you a lot for that, but I have one other thing to ask. Don’t tell the others about me… you know… fainting.”

Mikoto grinned and winked at Gala, and continued her descent down the staircase. Gala shook his head and smiled, Mikoto stuck to her word in all situations, the weight of the rest of the group taking the piss was one he didn’t need to bear any longer. He continued walking down the stairs, followed closely by Edge, who had not said anything since Gala had rejoined the group, but had merely gave a nod of recognition towards Gala at the news of Leonardo Ronston’s death.

The streets outside were less busy than usual, due to the heavy rain, but a small crowd indicated where the creature had landed. Reach walked over and struggled through the growing crowds. On the ground in front of them, a reptilian-looking creature lay motionless. Turquoise scaled covered all of the creature’s body. Its face looked like that of a wolf crossed with an iguana. Yet the creature was an arthropod, although the fashion of which it’s hands and feet were indicated it used all four in order to walk. The crowd around the creature talked in a hushed tone, asking one another varying questions about what the creature was and where it had came from.

“Is this what attacked you Gala?”

“Yeah it is Edge… there were five of them; I’ll tell you all about it when we get back to Reunion.”

Beatrix rolled her eyes and walked away from the creature. She glanced down the street towards the club gala had just assassinated Leonardo Ronston within, and caught the sound of police and ambulance sirens upon the air. She turned to the rest of the group and snapped her fingers, instantly grabbing their attention.

“We’re leaving.”

Mikoto and Gala both gave a confused look towards the sudden serious undertone of Beatrix, and followed her as she advanced down the street. Edge simply shrugged and also began to follow.

Beatrix walked briskly along, kicking up water as her feet connected with the drenched floor. The rain had made her hair fall down onto her face, and she was struggling to keep it out of her eyes. Mikoto cursed every now and then, both at the rain for exposing her chest through her thin vest, and at herself for not wearing a coat. Gala forgot all about what had happened at the club and with the lizard men that had given chase during his less than gallant escape, and focused on Beatrix. The rain had caused the leather to tighten against her skin, revealing more of her perfect figure than ever before. Edge walked along behind the rest of the group, with his eyes narrowed, and his hat tilted so that his face was completely covered from the rain. While his clothes were soaked through, within them, Edge remained warm and dry. A little ways ahead, the train station had come into view.

As Reach entered the train station, Beatrix and Mikoto both shook their heads, shaking droplets of water out of their hair. All of the group were soaking wet, and the floor of the train station had become slippery due to the amount of people walking across it. The clock that was the ceiling still glowed with the blue lighting, and read out that the time was just after 8 A.M. The skies were the shade of grey that they had been two hours ago. Gala looked around the station, the train headed for the Northern district was due in less than two minutes. Mikoto smiled at the timing, it was impeccable.

“Hey, Gala! Gala!”

Gala turned around to the location of the voice and his heart sank, running towards him was Pepper. She wasn’t very tall, around 5’4”, and her black hair came down to her shoulders. She was clutching onto a brown paper back, held close to her chest. Underneath her light brown jacket was a cream coloured blouse, and a matching pair of jeans. He blue eyes caught the neon glow of the clock on the ceiling and sparkled as she walked towards Gala, with a huge grin spread across her face.

“Great… Perfect even. Mikoto… help.”

Mikoto laughed at Gala and shook her head, walking away from what was bound to become a scene. Gala sighed, and felt the remains of his heart and stomach crash into the floor; he was tired and really couldn’t be bothered with an obsessive girl talking to him non-stop.

“Hello Pepper.”

“Gala, where have you been? I’ve been shopping! See? I bought, some fruit, and some tea, and some biscuits, and, oh look I have this for you!”

Pepper reached into the brown paper bag and pulled out an apple. Gala went to speak but found the shiny red fruit being forced into his mouth, much to the happiness of Pepper. He narrowed his eyes and took the apple out of his mouth, he tried speaking again but was cut off,

“By the way, are you headed back to Reunion? You don’t mind me sitting with you on the train do you? You don’t? That’s great! You’re so sweet Gala!”

Pepper took the bag into one hand and placed her arm around Gala, squeezing him so he could barely breathe. She didn’t even give me time to answer… Once Pepper had released Gala from the lung-destroying hug, she took his hand into her and paraded towards the train, dragging Gala behind her. As the two neared the platform edge, the ever familiar rumble of an approaching train sounded throughout the station, and a few moments later, a silver train came rushing out from the right hand tunnel.

“Wow, that looks… different.”

Beatrix watched as the train came to a stop, slightly confused. The train was different to all the other trains, and was immaculately clean. The station speaker sounded, informing the passengers the train was due to leave for the northern central station in five minutes time. Edge stood a little behind Beatrix, and looked up and down the train, as the doors opened.

“It’s one of those new models all the news reports are harping on about. It cost the planetists six million to make 6 of these trains to run around the central network, I guess this is their induction day.”

“Edge you’re a fountain of knowledge my dear, come on then Mikoto, seems Gala is sorted with his girlfriend.

Beatrix smiled and rolled her eyes at Gala, who was struggling to leave Pepper’s grip, boarding the train and looking around. Inside was all silver and steel blue. The seats and floor were like the rest of the train, clean. The cushions upon the seats upon closer inspection revealed to be incredibly comfortable. Mikoto sat down and was surprised at the amount of comfort the seats offered,

“Wow, the Planetists really outdid themselves on this, wonder how long it’ll take before these trains are screwed, like the rest of them…”

Gala had by now given up on trying to get away from Pepper, her grip was like a titanium handcuff. He sighed and allowed her to choose a seat and lead him like a mere dog on a leash wherever she wanted. Gala sighed and rolled his eyes every now and then, silently expressing his distaste for the situation. Why me? Of all the bloody men in Solar, pepper has to do this with me…

After a few minutes had passed, and the remainder of the passengers had boarded the train, Edge bolted up from his seat and looked out of the window and across the station. The green creature that Gala had killed earlier on stood at the entrance, it’s eyes glowering, and red blood dripping at it’s feet from the Gun inflicted wounds. The creature glared around the station, causing a state of panic to erupt. The panic was fed more so as three more of the creatures smashed through the ceiling of the station, destroying the clock in the process, and landing next to the creature that had emerged beforehand.

“Gala, I thought you killed those bastards?”

Gala turned around, much to the dismay of Pepper and looked out of the window at the havoc within the station.

“Shit… these things are harder than I thought… Pepper for Gods sake, GET THE FUCK OFF MY ARM.”

Pepper loosened her grip instantly at the look of anger in Gala’s eyes, and shrunk down, her eyes making contact with the floor. Gala shook his head and walked to the door of the train, the creatures were slowly advancing towards his location, a glare in their eyes, which seemed to pierce through the fabric of his soul.

“Okay, four bitches, one each. Simple. Mikoto, you take the left, Gala, you take the right, and me and Edge will take the middle two.”

Mikoto cocked her head and smiled at Beatrix’ ability to make sense of a difficult situation, before drawing her sword and standing next to her boss. Edge fixed his hat and stood a little behind Beatrix, drawing his weapon, a rare occurrence. Edge refrained from using his 9mm Chain gun whenever possible, because at times it had managed to cause more damage than a Rocket Launcher, and also the ammo it used and needed was a massive hit on his wallet. Gala shook off the glare from the creatures, and ran over to join his comrades, reloading his two silver pistols in the process and flicking his hair out of his face.

Several TV crews had entered the station, to cover the panic situation. The sign for the trains departure time displayed the word ‘delayed’ upon the electronic notice board, and the rain rushed into the station from the newly formed hole in the ceiling. The Television reporter for channel six huddled himself in a bright orange jacket, holding a microphone as close to his face as possible. Another man stood in between him and the camera, with a large black umbrella, and the camera man gave the thumbs up to indicate the film was rolling.

“I’m coming to you live from Central Station downtown on Channel 6, where a strange situation has occurred. Four unknown creatures have entered the station, and we are unsure of what is going to happen yet. The four creatures have into made a move on anyone as of yet, however people are evacuating the station as fast as possible. This reporter will attempt to bring you the best coverage he can, while risking his own life, this is Channel Six news.”

End of Chapter 003
 
Last edited:
Sorry for the double post. Here's chapter four.

-Josh
__________________

Chapter 004: Doesn’t get any better than this

The streets around the train station remained drenched in rain as the downpour continued in torrents from the greys above. Faint screams from the station echoed through the air, into the ears of a tall man dressed in black, crimson as the secondary colour of his clothes. Hanging from his waist, lined with a crimson belt, was a large scimitar. Adorned with Gold, Black and crimson lacing, the rain fell onto it lightly, and gave it an unusual shine. A large hat cast his face into shadow; all that could be seen was a cigarette hanging from his mouth.

Ahead of the man was the station, people could be seen flooding out of the doors. Police vans had taken position all around the main entrance of the building, and several helicopters had taken to the skies above, shining lights into the station through the rain. The man in crimson walked briskly to the entrance, several police officers attempting to stop him proceeding.

“Sir, I’m afraid I cannot allow you to proceed any further, we have a situation here.”

“I don’t think so.”

“You are not the law sir, we are. Please leave the area immediately.”

The mysterious stranger stood and let out a small laugh. He reached into his jacket and pulled out a small card, identification. He flicked it into the hands of the officer, and allowed a moment for him to study what information there was on the card.

“I say. I am the law.”

The officer stood, with his eyes wide at what information was upon the identification, before handing the card back to the stranger.

“L- Let him through boys!”

The cigarette dropped to the floor as the stranger entered the station. Reach had begun the fight with the beasts that had entered the station. The stranger looked onwards as Beatrix jumped towards one of the creatures and sliced through it, causing the beast to land on it’s side and let out a weak whimper. She flicked back her hair and rubber her forehead, examining the blood that had been transferred onto her hand. She looked up at the stranger who entered the station and twisted her face.

“Ugh, joy, looks like another ‘badass’ wannabe. Joy and woe, they seem to collide a lot for me.”

She grinned as Mikoto took out another of the beasts, causing it to land at the feet of the stranger. Looking around, Gala had felled the creature he had engaged himself with, and the ringing of bullets stopped soon after, signifying edge was either out of bullets, or the creature he had taken up was killed. Beatrix looked over, sure enough, the crimson mess on the floor and the tattered, bullet riddled body of the fourth creature lay at his feet. Beatrix averted her eyes back to the stranger,

“Looks like you’re late honey. Get back to bed.”

“I don’t think so.”

Mikoto looked towards the mysterious person at the main entrance of the station, taken aback that she hadn’t noticed his presence previously. As she replaced her cobalt blue blade into its hilt, gala came and stood next to her, a stern look on his face.

“Jesus Gala, I didn’t know you could make that expression.”

“You know who that is, right?”

“Yeah! I totally do! How did you guess that one?”

“Didn’t think so Mik, if I’m right…”

“Which you probably aren’t.”

Mikito smiled towards Gala as he rolled his eyes,

“Shut up… if I’m right, that’s Creed. Planetist big shot.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah, really.”

“No way…”

The stranger stood motionless for a moment longer, before raising his hands and applauding the feat reach had accomplished. The TV reporter stood shaking at the entrance, talking in hushed tone to his small crew. Beatrix stood with her eyes still on the stranger.

“My oh my… I must say Beatrix; you have one smart womanizer working under you my dear.”

Gala and Mikoto exchanged glances, surprised at the stranger knowing their boss’s name. Edge grunted and walked towards Beatrix, replacing his gun underneath the large coat he always wore. Beatrix grinned and flicked her hair once more.

“Great, I have a stalker.”

“Ouch… I’m no stalker. I just like being here when the fun starts. You should give up, you know. Your life is ending one minute at a time, and from the looks of things, the final minute is here. Look around, you haven’t killed those creatures, they’re still alive.”

“Why don’t you look around, waltzing in here and telling me a load of bollocks, and then telling me I didn’t do my job properly?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Beatrix, chill it, seriously.”

Mikoto widened her eyes and elbowed Gala,

“Gala, shut the fuck up! Dammit.”

“It’s fine Gala. Who are you anyway, Mr. Big shot?”

“Creed.”

Gala gave a knowing smile and looked at Mikoto, she looked back at him in awe, how the hell did he know that? Beatrix just stood motionless staring at the floor. Creed? Of the Planetists? No way… Edge flashed his eyes towards Creed, eyeing the scimitar at his waist. Creed smiled and raised his hat, revealing his green eyes, and brown hair.

“Now then dear, wake up.”

Beatrix snapped out of her trance like state in time to see Creed disappear from where he was stood, and erupt into a flurry of attacks upon the monster she thought she had felled. She spun to see dust upon the floor where the creature once lay, and Creed flashing a brief smile her way before erupting with incredible speed to the other four carcasses. Each time leaving a pile of dust on the floor.

“Shitting hell. How does he move so quickly?”

Creed returned to the spot at the entrance he previously stood at, and replaced his scimitar, the crimson blade still wet from the rain. He pulled his hat down over his face, and turned towards Gala, throwing a black velvet bag at his feet.

“A little bonus for having the balls to finish my assignment.”

Reach all spun to look at Creed, surprised looks upon their faces.

“It was you!?”

“Well, I’d have done it myself, but you lot could use the money for what the future holds. Adieu, until we meet again, Reach. Just remember that I may not welcome you with a favour next time.”

The rain lightened slightly as Creed left the station, causing the once monotone grey to lighten up, and bring back some colour to the world. Reach stood motionless, the velvet bag at Gala’s feet beginning to take in water. He kicked it up into his hands after a few moments, and peered inside. A small red stone seemed to come to life as he looked upon it and held it in his hand. Mikoto stood on her tip toes to get a glimpse at the object.

“The fuck is that?”

“Well… I don’t know. But Mikoto, why are you swearing all the time?”

“I am? Not even aware of it…”

Gala just rolled his eyes and replaced the stone in the bag. He looked around the train station and at what mess had been left behind from the confrontation. He shrugged and walked over to Beatrix and Edge, with Mikoto shortly following behind. Beatrix smiled as the all too familiar sound of the train starting up erupted into the station.

“I didn’t think the trains would be affected by this. Get on board, we’re going home.”

End of Chapter 004.
 

PsiUmbreon

Well-Known Member
One word: COOL!

So, the plot thickens... weird creatures, and possibly the Planetists in on what's going on... I see.

Also, I might add, the perfect soundtrack to this fic would be all Techno. :D
 
Took me ages to read. Nearly an hour ffs >:O

Anyway. Usually don't read these type of stories, then again I don't read in general (as I only read in school really). But! I found this quite enjoyable. Particularly, chapter 2. I suppose I liked the mysteriousness of the creatures and just because it contained action. The tedious situation Gala was in sort of reminded me of situations I've been in. Obviously nowhere near as bad but still. Also liked how other situations he was involved in could be applied to myself - another prime example being when he told Mitoko to keep the black-out a secret in order to not look like a pussy. I've told people to not say things in order to not look like a pussy also :(

As for negative comments, which is ultimately what every writer wants so that their stories can be constantly improved, I found the prologue and chapter 1 a bit too descriptive upon minor details. I think in order to get more reviews here, which you obviously crave for, you should grab the attention of the readers in the prologue. It's very much like having a blurb in a book. The viewers will go straight to it before reading the actual story, and if they like what they see, then they'll be more inclined to read the book.

Overall though, I like it. Can't really go into specifics at this stage in time though, considering there are only 4 chapters.

Keep it up though. Your coherent and quality writing skills are evident here.
 
Thanks for the reviews guys. They're really appreciated. I'll have a look into re-writing my prologue too, Ryan.

Anyway! I've finished chapter 5, after a long enough time. So, without much else to say, I'll leave you with it!

-Josh
________________________​

Chapter 005: The beginning of a truth

An evening haze had settled amongst the structures that made up what was the northern sector of Solar. Reach had returned home, the events of hours ago just a memory. The skies above turned to a midnight blue as the hours passed by, and in a small park a little ways from Reunion, Mikoto and Gala sat on a pair of battered swings, the rust causing them to squeak quietly as the two members of Reach swung back and forth. The night sky was unusually clear, and the second moon of Charity, Threshold, lit up the silent park. The whole area was quiet, save for the occasionally squeaking of the swings, and the quiet voices of Gala and Mikoto.

“Why didn’t you want me to tell anyone about you fainting today then?”

“Why do you think, don’t want them thinking I’m a stupid pussy who faints from little things like a fall, do I?”

“Since when do you care what they all think?”

“I don’t. But still. Just, ah I dunno, maybe I’m worrying about nothing again.”

Mikoto shrugged her shoulders and stared across the park. The entire place was run down; quite clearly it hadn’t been seen to in months. There was an old slide just barely visible under the glow of the moon, which seemed to deteriorate more and more every second. Mikoto glanced upwards at the swings, making sure they weren’t about to collapse, before returning her gaze to the rest of the park. The floor was dry mud, there was probably grass there once, but grass was a rare occurrence within Solar in the recent years. It seemed the city was being over polluted to the point of no nature being able to exist at all. There were rarely even pigeons sighted, save for in the downtown district.

“Hey, you must have been pretty scared today, when you were running, jumping from that building, obviously aren’t afraid to die are you?”

“Afraid to die? Nah. What have I got to live for anyway, I kill people to earn my living. Seventeen years old and I’ve probably killed more people than anyone else in Solar.”

Mikoto gave a weak smile. She knew Gala had never been afraid of dying. Four years ago his parents were murdered, and his memory of everything before that day all but erased, save for those of his parents, a caped man and a blue light. Since then Gala had no history. He was found on the streets of Reach by Beatrix and Mikoto, living under a bridge and having to steal for a living. Clutched in his hands were the guns that he uses everyday of his life. He had always assumed them to be a parting gift from his parents, but was never really sure of where he got them. Beatrix took him under her wing after she realised the boy was a natural gunner, he could shoot in any direction with his eyes closed and never missed a stationary target. He had been attempting to improve the talent to enable him to hit a moving target in the same fashion, but had never had any luck.

Since that day, Gala had never really valued his life. The result was he had never seemed afraid of dying, and was reckless when it came to frontal assaults. Mikoto looked at him as he sat there, his eyes gazing downwards to the floor.

“Cheer up man, you got a bucketload of cash today. I think you should treat everyone at Reunion to drinks all night.”

Mikoto smiled at Gala and stuck her tongue out at him, before leaping from the swing and running out of the park and towards Reunion. Gala remained on the swing, smiling at the idea of having a drink with everyone.

“Well I haven’t got anything better to spend it on, might as well. Mikoto! Wait up!”

Gala leaped from the swing and ran out of the park, chasing Mikoto towards Reunion. As his shouts after her faded into the night, and the squeak of the swings came to a halt, a tall figure stepped out of the shadows, the moonlight catching a crimson blade at his waist. The all too familiar figure of Creed stood silently, as if in wait for something.

“At least one of them isn’t afraid of dying. Heh, I wonder how Beatrix is going to react to this game.”

The gate of the park swung open as a thin man, dressed in dirty jeans and a white shirt entered the playground. He glanced over at the sport where Creed stood, seemingly analyzing the silhouette of him, whilst eying the crimson blade that reflected the moonlight of Threshold more than any other object in the area. The thin man proceeded towards Creed, the moonlight offering a brief glimpse of bruises around his forearm.

“Super duper, I ask for an acquaintance from the mafia to discuss matters with me tonight, and they send a god damn smackhead. Simply terrific. Hello there good sir! I hope you are who I assume you to be!”

“Yeah, like, got sent by dem guys. Dunno what the fuck dey want but dey said you needed dem or summat?”

Creed raised his eyebrows at the strange manner in which the thin man spoke, and twisted his mouth in a look of brief disgust.

“Yes. That’s right. Do you know where I might find someone with a better speaking pattern than you?”

“Eh what? Yeah, jus’ fuckin’ foller me like.”

“Right.”

The thin man turned around and walked towards the park exit, Creed followed a little ways behind. Noting the apparent smell coming from the man, something not unlike cabbage mixed with urine, Creed decided, as they walked down the street, several streetlights helping light the way.

A gunshot rang through the streets and the man ahead of Creed suddenly fell to the floor, the moonlight catching against the fresh blood that had appeared in streams from the mans head and causing a pool on the floor to form. Creed raised his eyebrows once more and looked around. Underneath the orange glow of a streetlamp on the opposite side of the road, a tall bald man with sunglasses stood, fixing the holster on his pistol. Creed nodded lightly towards the now dead thin man and proceeded to cross over to where the bald man was stood.

The first thing he noted was the way the man was dressed. Accompanying his sunglasses was a sharp suit, which seemed to make him blend into darker backdrops. Creed removed his hat and cocked his head slightly towards the man, who had quickly taken to surveying the blade hilt at Creed’s waist.

“You the guy that called earlier?”

Creed looked up at the man, and blinked before answering,

“Yes. That was me. I have some convenient news regarding the death of Leonardo Ronston you might be interested in hearing.”

The man quickly averted his gaze at the mention of Leonardo Ronston and looked Creed directly in the eyes.

“You’ll need to talk to the boss then, follow me.”

Creed smiled and nodded towards the man, before replacing his black hat and following into a dark alleyway. The only light source was found above a metal door, in the form of a tiny porch light. The bald man knocked and waited, before a small panel upon the door was slide aside and a pair of eyes peered out.

“It’s me, Paulie, guy that called earlier is with me, says he’s got some information on the death of that Leonardo guy that was helpin’ the boss”

The panel was slid back into position, and a few minutes passed, before the door was opened to allow Paulie and Creed entrance into the building. Creed nodded his head in recognition of the security the mobs of Solar seemed to employ, before entering the building behind Paulie, and into a dimly lit hallway, with no sign of whoever had unlocked the main door being around. After a brief and silent walk, the two men entered a smoke filled room, to the right was a small bar, and to the left a pool table, between the two, situated in the direct middle of the extensive room was a poker table, with a group of suited men sitting around it. Paulie motioned Creed over to the table, before heading over to the bar area.

“You the guy that knows somethin’ ‘bout the death of Leon eh?”

The voice wasn’t of an accent Creed recognised, and came from a large blonde haired man situated directly opposite where Creed was stood. The man seemed to be reasonably young, wider than he was tall, with a plain black suit complete with white shirt and black tie.

“I do.”

“Much you wantin’ paid?”

“Oh, nothing. I’m quite alright.”

“You bein’ funny?

“Oh I’m sorry, allow me to put it in the correct term for you.”

Creed leaned towards the man on the table and cocked his head slightly, pushing aside the two men seated directly to the left and right of him.

“NO I DO NOT WANT MONEY THANK YOU.”

There was a brief moment of silence as the look of shock on the blonde haired man turned into a smile.

“Now do you want this information or am I wasting my time?”

“Alright then smartass, talk.”

“Terrific. I’m sure you’re all aware of a delightful bar around this area, are you not?”

“No. We are not aware of a God damn bar in the middle of the fucking city. THERE ARE NO BARS IN THIS CITY TO BE AWARE OF. God fucking damn man, what ****ing bar?”

“Calm down chubby. Reunion.”

“What the fuck did you just call me?”

“I called you a delightfully polite young man.”

“WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST CALL ME?”

Creed sighed, by now the room was silent and all that could be heard was a car go by outside. The entire room was turned to face Creed, and he simply stood smiling, making sure that his weapon was hidden from view. Paulie stopped drinking for a moment and called over to the table;

“Hey boss, he’s got somethin’ under that coat o’ his”

The blonde haired man smiled and nodded, looking at Creed, who remained unphased by his weapon being revealed. He looked directly into the eyes of the blonde haired man once more.

“Look. The people that killed Leonardo Ronston today reside above the Reunion bar, club, whatever. Their leader is named Beatrix. If you’re planning on avenging the guy, though I don’t know what reason you’d hold, then that’s where you should go on your killing spree or whatever it is you do.”

Creed turned to the door and left the room. He pulled out a phone from his pocket and searched through his phonebook; he then placed the phone against his ear and allowed it to ring several times. The voice that answered was that of a young woman.

“Hello?”

“Hello Andromeda my dear, is my favourite person around?”

“Nah, he’s out.”

“He’s out? Gracious! You need to upload this news onto the internet my dear!”

“Stop picking on him, he’s your boss you know.”

“He’s also one for humour. Can you pass on a message?”

“Sure thing.”

“Can you just tell him that Reach is as good as gone? And also that I don’t think he really needed to send me for this.”

“Alright, catch you later?”

“I’m going for a drink; I’m off for the rest of today, and a goodbye!”

***
Above the club floor of Reunion, Beatrix sat in a large leather chair, looking out of the window that Sage was all too familiar with. The old man entered the room behind her, taking a long draw from his pipe. The left of the room was where he lived, and to the right, his study, complete with a bookshelf wall.

“Did you have fun today then, Beatrix?”

“Not as much fun as Gala did.”

Sage walked towards the window, staring out across solar. Beatrix went to get up from the chair, but he motioned to her with a wave of his hand not to bother.

“I’m old Beatrix, but I’m not lazy.”

“That’s why you spend all of your time indoors isn’t it?”

Sage laughed;

“Okay, so once again you catch me out.”

“I’m only joking with you. Something seems up with you anyway. What’s wrong?”

Sage averted his gaze from the window, and looked towards Beatrix.

“It’s about time for the angel.”

“The angel huh?”

“Oh that’s correct, you don’t believe in that, what was it? Bullshit?”

“I didn’t know you were capable of swearing!”

“And I didn’t know you were capable of anything, but look at you now.”

“Fair enough.”

“Anyway, you better believe that angels do come. But… well, you know me, and my books, and my experience, I’ve always wondered if they really were angels, or just another Planetist ploy.”

“That would make sense, you know? Wait, the angels actually do come down?”

“Oh yes. They certainly do. The thing I don’t understand is…”

“What?”

“Well, of all the angels to come down to this planet, I’m sure I’ve seen them before they actually ‘are seen for the first time,’ if you understand what I mean.”

“You mean that you seem to recognise the angels?”

“Exactly. I’m not alone in this either. The theory goes that the angels are actually just successful Planetist experiments, or something along those lines. This is a mere coincidence, too, but it always seems that in between three and six years before the angel appears, or rather, in between the ninety-fourth and ninety-seventh year of a century cycle, something always seems to happen within this city that is stranger than anything else. Like, a terrible accident, or, I don’t know, something that changes someone emotionally.”

“Right. Yeah, see, that’s coincidence.”

“Then why has it happened in all of my lifetime?”

“Oh yeah, how old are you?”

“Nine hundred and twenty three.”

“So you’ve seen nine angels?”

“Yes.”

“What’s your real name?”

“That has nothing to do with this Beatrix!”

“Sorry, sorry, just, you know, wondering.”

“Can you be serious?”

“No.”

Sage rolled his eyes and moved towards the chair, motioning for Beatrix to get up.

“Thanks.”

“Aww, I was just comfortable too.”

“Anyway, I have a request of a mission, or rather, a favour.”

“Delighted to be of service.”

“It’ll be dangerous.”

“And?”

“And I have no money.”

“Sage, I think we owe you more than anything you could owe us. What’s the favour?”

“You’re too kind dear. I want to ask if you can sneak into the planetist headquarters, and see what you can find, if anything, about these so called ang…”

“Wait what? Sneak into their headquarters? Sage, you and I both know that’s suicide!”

“Oh come Beatrix you’ve done harder things than this. It’ll be easy. You don’t have to do this though, as I say, it’s more of a favour than anything else.”

“Man… I’ll see what I can do. What am I looking for?”

“Anything that is in regards to the angels.”

“Terrific.”

Beatrix leaned against the desk and flicked back her hair. She stared out of the window, towards the huge building that loomed above all of Solar, like a Devils Tower, the Planetist headquarters. As the room fell into silence, Beatrix became aware of how cold it was, and pulled up the zipper on her white jacket. She hadn’t planned on going into the club so she was dressed in jeans and a blue tank top, with the jacket over it.

There was a knock at the door, before Edge entered the room, and looked around. Beatrix turned her head and looked at him; he seemed to be in panic.

“What’s up with you?”

“We have problems downstairs.”

End of Chapter 005.
 
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PsiUmbreon

Well-Known Member
Experiments? Why this gets better and better each chapter. Keep it up.

Wanna know what I think? (in regards to the plot and what's gonna happen)
[spoil]I'm betting that creature Gala met up with, and those other ones, are also Planetist experiments. Also guessing Sage's rumor is actually true.[/spoil]
 

azurill

Well-Known Member
okay...I'm not reading the story,but apotheosis is a Greek word if you know**points to location**
 
Josh said:
The thin man turned around and walked towards the park exit, Creed followed a little ways behind. Noting the apparent smell coming from the man, something not unlike cabbage mixed with urine, Creed decided, as they walked down the street, several streetlights helping light the way.

Bad use of expression. Cabbage mixed with urine smells like...what exactly? The hell if any readers know what the smell is. Just say he smelt of shit and get on with it :<

As for the chapter itself, it was alright. I think I'd prefer more detail upon these "angels" though and the controversy that surrounds them. After all, I like having to use my initiative to find out about controversial issues. And, um, I like the name Paulie, mainly because I love the film Goodfellas =D

Overall though, don't see any problems with it. I think if you shroud the angel stuff with more controversy, it will be remembered more to the readers, will contribute more to the storyline and will become more mysterious along with the plot. Furthermore, I think the reader will want to read on in order to find out what these angels actually are all about. Basically, I think its vital to emphasise on things that the readers like to pick up on e.g. this whole "angel" business, but don't repeat the it so much so that you're giving away too much information about them. Just enough to whet the appetite.

If that made no sense then I don't really care :(
 

Trinx

Well-Known Member
Chapter 5: Nice, description that fits nicely along with the flow, and that I can follow along with, but some excess in some places.
But, overall, nice chapter, now write that fic :0.
 

Sike Saner

Peace to the Mountain
I'm a retard for not reading this sooner. ><;

Hell of a cool setting, great dialogue, and equally good characters; Gala, Pepper, and Creed are especially memorable. It started out good, and it's just getting better as it goes along. I really like the way the plot is quickly becoming quite intricate.

Elements and moments that I particularly liked:

His smile was that of knowledge, and his eyes burned with a resolve of justice.

Lovely sentence, there.

He replaced the phone and looked down at the carpet. The crimson and black patterns were hypnotic, several spirals forming one large spiralling shape after the other.

I really like the way you described that carpet.

They were handcrafted from pure silver, and bore an engraving of his name upon their sides. The barrel held 16 rounds and fired 2 shots per pull of the trigger. The handle contained several electronic security devices, which executed if anyone but Gala held the gun in the action position. Fingerprint encoding ran across the trigger, and if the prints weren’t recognized, the gun locked itself down, before releasing a toxic gas, that eroded the lungs of whoever was handling it. The gun was as dangerous to anyone but Gala both at gunpoint and if the gun was in their hands.

Those are severely cool weapons.

The sound of Bullets erupting from both of the guns pierced the air and a split second later, a screech of pain from the green creature. The four bullets Gala had fired had all hit their target in the chest, causing blood to explode out of the creature’s body and join in the descent towards the planet.

I love the image that presents, especially with regards to the bolded part.

He looked out of the window of the room at the rain outside. It was as if a grey sheet had enveloped the entire city, the rain was torrential.

Another very nice sentence.

On the ground in front of them, a reptilian-looking creature lay motionless. Turquoise scaled covered all of the creature’s body. Its face looked like that of a wolf crossed with an iguana. Yet the creature was an arthropod, although the fashion of which it’s hands and feet were indicated it used all four in order to walk.

The lizard-creatures are just frigging awesome. Especially since [spoil]they're so damn stubborn about dying[/spoil]. ^^

Pepper reached into the brown paper bag and pulled out an apple. Gala went to speak but found the shiny red fruit being forced into his mouth, much to the happiness of Pepper.

That Pepper...I don't where you came up with that character, but she is severely entertaining.

Once Pepper had released Gala from the lung-destroying hug, she took his hand into her and paraded towards the train, dragging Gala behind her.

I really like the use of the phrase "lung-destroying hug".

“****… these things are harder than I thought… Pepper for Gods sake, GET THE **** OFF MY ARM.”

XD Moments of "Pepperness" get me every time.

Your life is ending one minute at a time, and from the looks of things, the final minute is here.

Creed gets the coolest lines...

“Much you wantin’ paid?”

“Oh, nothing. I’m quite alright.”

“You bein’ funny?

“Oh I’m sorry, allow me to put it in the correct term for you.”

Creed leaned towards the man on the table and cocked his head slightly, pushing aside the two men seated directly to the left and right of him.

“NO I DO NOT WANT MONEY THANK YOU.”

A classic Creed moment.

“Calm down chubby. Reunion.”

“What the **** did you just call me?”

“I called you a delightfully polite young man.”

“WHAT THE **** DID YOU JUST CALL ME?”

XD And there's another classic Creed moment.

“Can you be serious?”

“No.”

I just love that response.


I'm officially hooked to this story. Very nice work. ^^
 

Angeling

true love
Here's yer comment/review. ^^

Ooh, lovely chapter, and glad I obtained the time to reading the entire (or so far) fanfiction. I loved it, and hope to read more when you get the future chapters up.

However, I did notice you forgot to capitalize some of the names. More specifically, Gala's name, in the earlier chapters. I'm too lazy to note other things, but loved the plot. I also agree with PsiUmbreon in the spoiler tags, that what he predicts may as well be true. It is, isn't it?

Well, good work and hope to read more soon. Keep it up.
 
PsiUmbreon: Can't tell you if you're right or not. :p
Azurill: I know. :/
Ryan: It kinda made sense :( I'll be touching on the angels more and more as it goes on.
Trinx: I'll write it when I'm good and ready >:O
Sike: Muchos Gracias for the review, I'm glad you like it :D
Eefi: Can't tell you if you're right, can't tell you if you're wrong

Thanks for the comments/reviews guys, they're all really appreciated. I don't have much else to say aside form thankyou for the support so far, so without anything left, I'll leave you with chapter 006!

-Josh
____________________

Chapter 006: Altercation

“If this is about that tap again Edge, I’ve told you, it’s not my problem. Talk to Mary about it.”

“Oh, no Beatrix. I understood that the last time that was a problem; this is something a bit worse. You know… the kind of problem you should probably get Eve for.”

“What?”

“Just get it.”

Beatrix stood still for a moment looking at Edge, there was no noise downstairs or outside, yet he had told her to get Eve, her sword. She arched her eyebrows and turned back to her bedroom. She opened the oak door to the room and looked inside. To her right was her bed, which dominated the left hand side of the room. The bed was covered by a navy blue sheet adorned with a gold trim, and with bed posts were made of fine oak. She looked at it for a moment and realised how tired she felt. Hanging on the side of a dresser complete with an extravagant mirror was her sword, Eve. She picked it up and looked at herself in the mirror, and noted what she was wearing, the blue tank top, jeans and a white jacket from earlier. She shrugged and took off the jacket, throwing it on the bed. Walking out of the room, she noticed Edge standing at the door.

“You mind telling me what’s going on in the club now then?”

“I told you, we have trouble.”

Beatrix rolled her eyes and shrugged once more, before flicking back her hair.

“Lead the way princess.”

“Princess?”

“A joke Edge! Good God. Just go.”

Edge narrowed his eyes at Beatrix and turned tail, walking briskly down the hallway towards the stairwell. He was, as always, dressed in the large coat and black hat that had become somewhat of a trademark for him. His face was hidden for a reason nobody, save for Beatrix, knew of. Edge had several events in the past occur that had since caused him to become a wanted man. Since joining Reach, Edge had become somewhat of a pacifist, only using his weapons when there is no alternative to doing so. As a result, he often questioned any missions to do with assassination, or which involved hurting people.

“Edge, I can’t even hear anything, where is everyone?”

“Shh… come to the door.”

Beatrix gave Edge a funny look, before moving towards the door at the bottom of the stairs that led into the club area of Reunion. He opened the door enough for her to look through, inside were several creatures bearing striking resemblance to the ones they had fought earlier that day. Nobody was in the bar area, save for the creatures and a bald man in a suit at the club entrance.

Shit, what the hell is this about?”

“Hell if I know Beatrix, but Gala and Mikoto are out, and I can count seven of the creatures already, and chances are there are more outside.”

“Where’s Mary, and everyone in the bar?”

“Mary’s not stupid Bea, she has camera’s set up everywhere, she would’ve saw this coming and got everyone out safely. She knows this building better than even I do.”

“Fair enough then. Least we don’t have to worry about anyone from the club being hurt.”

“So… what do we do?”

“Well, I personally think we should charge in there and attempt to survive for more than five seconds, thoughts?”

“Are you serious?”

“Edge. I’m going to be honest with you, you need a sense of fricken’ humour.”

“Hm. Beatrix, this is hardly the time for jokes.”

“Whatevs.”

“Well it isn’t.”

“Sh, you hear that?”

“Sounds like…”

Beatrix and Edge looked at each other and smiled,

“Mikoto and Gala!”

“Edge, you got your phone?”

“Yeah.”

“Gracias.”

Edge pulled out the small phone from his pocket and handed it to Beatrix. She took it and quickly searched through the phonebook, eventually finding Mikoto’s number. She pressed the call button and awaited an answer. Sure enough, the faint ring tone of Mikoto’s phone could be heard just outside the club.

“Hello?”

“Hey Mikoto, its Beatrix. We have a problem.”

“I saw, who the hell is the bald guy, and why are those creatures here?”

“That’s a very good question Mikoto. VERY GOOD.”

“Alright I get it, what do you want me and Gala to do?”

“Right, are you near the entrance now?”

“Yeah.”

“Right, when I say go, you and Gala storm the entrance, and get inside, and then we’ll see what we can do together, you have your stuff, right?”

“Boss, you’re the only one of us that doesn’t have their weapon with them all the time, hell, you’re the only person in this city that does that!”

“Alright alright, okay then, ready?”

“Hold on, Gala doesn’t know what the hell is going on.”

Beatrix rolled her eyes and heard the conversation between Mikoto and Gala over the phone,

“Boss wants us to ambush the guy and get inside.”

“Mikoto, boss is nuts. Those creatures, yeah, SEVEN of them? No way.”

“What boss says goes Gala. Hello? Alright Boss, we’re ready.”

“Tell Gala to stop being such a wuss. Ready? Steady? Ok, go!”

Beatrix gave the phone back to Edge and kicked open the door into the club, averting the entire attention of the seven creatures to her. She stepped back as she realised the sheer size of them. The creatures were similar to the ones they had fought downtown, however these ones were about two feet longer, and stood on their hind legs as Beatrix drew her sword. The scales they were covered in were a turquoise green colour, and their eyes were red at the iris. Towards the back of the room, stood next to the now grinning bald man, the largest creature rose to its feet. As it stood straight its head just barely missed scraping the ceiling, identifying it was a little less than nine feet tall.

“You know Edge; I’m beginning to think this was a bad idea.”

“You’re not alone Beatrix.”

“Going to actually use your gun this time?”

“Are these things human?”

“Do they look human to you?”

“Guess I’m going to be using my gun then.”

Beatrix pulled out Eve and took it in her hand, grinning as she stared into the eyes of the creature stood closest to her and Edge. Edge reached into his jacket and pulled out a large .12 gauge shotgun, holding it easily with one hand. He placed it leaning on his shoulder and pulled out a cigarette, placing it in his mouth and then lighting it, paying no attention to the mass of monsters before him. Beatrix looked at him, smiled a little and flicked back her hair once more.

“NYYYAAAAAAAH!!”

Mikoto burst through the doorway of Reunion, knocking the bald man to the floor, and splitting his head open. She glanced down and a look of unease spread across her face, before she twisted her nose and shrugged her shoulders. She looked up from the floor and cast her eyes on the creatures, which had now averted their gaze from Beatrix to her. Her eyes widened before she was pushed forward into the room by Gala. She looked back at him smiling in the doorway before realising she was now surrounded at all angles by the creatures.

“Gala you bastard!”

Mikoto picked up her sword and jumped up from the ground, flipping over in mid air and placing her feet on the ceiling of the room, before pushing herself back down towards one of the creatures, her left fist extended so that it hit the creature she launched herself at in the chest and knocked it to the floor. She picked herself up and swung her sword at a second creature that had lunged at her from behind.

Gala grinned at Mikoto being the first to make a move, and shot the largest creature three times in the back before being punched in the jaw and sent flying across the room. The large creature jumped across after him, and roared as it came to land on top of him. Gala closed his eyes and heard an extremely loud gunshot erupt from inches above his face; Edge had jumped in inches before the creature had made its impact on Gala and shot it in the mouth.

Gala smiled at Edge, before picking himself up and reloading his guns. Edge simply nodded and jumped after the large creature, which had by now been shot with seven bullets, one directly through the skull, but was still alive and well. Beatrix stood on the bar, dancing around three of the smaller creatures and taking quick swipes with her sword at their faces. The three creatures fell back before lunging at her from three different angles at once. She simply grinned and jumped into the air, causing the three creatures to head butt one another and effectively knock themselves out. She rolled her eyes and jumped into the middle of the room, taking a stand next to Mikoto.

Mikoto had been fighting the same creature for several minutes, and had managed to stab it through the chest several times. She stopped moving for a split second and felt the price as several claws ripped across her back, causing her to fall to her knees in pain. She heard Beatrix shout her name and quickly jumped into the air, as the creature guilty of ripping up her back crashed into the ground, where she was sitting seconds ago. She landed once more on the ceiling of the club, looking down and noting the creature that had attacked her.

As she plummeted back to the floor, her sword ready to swipe at the creature, Gala and Edge were busy fighting off the two largest creatures of the seven. Three had been knocked out by themselves, and were slowly beginning to stir, and none of the creatures were letting up their attack, regardless of how many times they were shot, or stabbed. Gala had continuously shot the largest creature through the head, as had edge, and half of its face was now missing, but it still attacked with full force.

“Edge, this isn’t working buddy!”

“I know Gala, I know, just keep at it!”

“This is stupid.”

Gala took another shot at the largest creature before feeling the megaton fore of its punch across his face. He was sent flying across the room, before being quickly followed by Edge. As Gala landed, the bar crumbled under the force of his weight, and was broken into pieces as Edge landed. Gala looked across to Beatrix, who had managed to cut off the arm of the creature attacking her, but in doing so had seemingly caused the creature to enter a blind rage. Mikoto was dancing and jumping around the creature that had clawed her back, and had managed to deal a significant amount of damage to the torso, but nothing was making the creatures stop, save for the three that had been knocked out by themselves. Gala glanced over to the three concussed creatures and noticed they were beginning to stir. He jumped over and kicked one of them onto its back, before shooting directly into the heart of the creature.

Blood erupted from the chest, but there was no significant damage dealt. Studying the body of the creature, Gala noticed a slight throb in the end of its tail. He shot where the throb was and to his amazement the creature burned up and turned to ash. He grinned and shouted to the rest of Reach,

“Aim for their tails!”

He quickly made waste of the other two concussed creatures, and caught the attention of the other four remaining. The entire lot dropped their attention from the other members of Reach and lunged at him from all angels of the room. His eyes closed and he cringed as he waited for their claws to come into contact with his body. Beatrix jumped after the creatures and was followed quickly by Mikoto. Edge shot from across the room and caused the creatures to fall to the side; Gala opened his eyes and shook his head violently in disbelief at his luck. He grinned at Edge and gave him a nod before turning his guns to the tails of the creatures. Mikoto and Beatrix stood over the two they had been in combat with and sliced at the tail of both creatures, causing their bodies to turn into ash. Gala shot at the tail of the largest creature, before feeling his face to check if there were any cuts from the punch he had received. Edge simply towered over the second largest creature, took aim and shot the throb in the tail of the beast. The members of Reach all exchanged glances and smiled at each other, before replacing their weapons and looking at the mess the bar had become. Near the entrance of the bar, the bald man stirred, looked up and realised that the creatures had been laid to waste. His eyes widened in terror as he looked towards the members of Reach, and as he tried to get up, Gala sent four bullets searing through the air. All of them made contact with the man’s torso and he lay dead in a pool of crimson blood.

“Was the necessary Gala?”

“Hey, no bald fuck is coming into Reunion with his bitch ass monster, things, and then expect to fucking get away with it, alright Edge?”

“Was just asking.”

Beatrix noticed that Mikoto’s back was severely slashed, and walked over to her.

“We’re going to need to get that looked at Mikoto.”

“No. I don’t do doctors. No.”

“What if the creatures’ claws contained a mutagen or something?”

“I said no.”

“Then can I have a look at it for you?”

Sage entered the room, slowly walking over to Mikoto and Beatrix. He paused and looked around at the mess the club was now in. Tables and chairs were strewn, broken, across the room. The bar itself was in splinters and there were pools of blood, from the creatures, and the members of Reach, everywhere.

“Do you lot always make this much mess when you get into a scuffle?”

End of chapter 006.
 

Sike Saner

Peace to the Mountain
She stopped moving for a split second and felt the price as several claws ripped across her back, causing her to fall to her knees in pain.

I really like that phrase.

Gala had continuously shot the largest creature through the head, as had edge, and half of its face was now missing, but it still attacked with full force.

Nice, grisly imagery there. That always makes me smile.

“What if the creatures’ claws contained a mutagen or something?”

Hey…what if, indeed? o_o *is suddenly getting a lot of very interesting mental images*


Good action in that chapter, and again I say that those reptilian things are just awesome. I just loved how they were all mangled and shot up and such, yet still wouldn’t relent; the image of mutilated, bleeding things relentlessly attacking was a great one. And yet, they aren’t invincible, and the way to defeat them is rather interesting. I wonder, what might be the cause of the tail being their weak point?
 

Eszett

one love
A very solid piece overall, with good character development and a very easy-to-visualize setting. I enjoy the many facets of the individuals and how you prevented them from falling into stereotypical roles. Moreover, I found the plot to be very well developed, bolstered sufficiently with extensive and exhaustive details, and leading up to some good business. I look forward to seeing what else you have in store for this since it can still go in so many directions, the one you selected most likely being not the one I would expect.

I hope you don't see this as being pretentious, but some stylistic stuff from Chapter Two:

A light rain had picked up and the morning sun had made it’s first appearance of the day, creeping over the horizon and illuminating the eastern face of Solar with it’s Orange glow.
Take out those apostrophes. You seem to do this quite a bit, so just watch out for that.

I had to live stolen bread and water for two years after my parents died. People do steal for reasons sometimes.
Live on, I think you mean.

Mikoto came out of her thought as an ambulance raced down the street with its sirens blaring. She shook her hair, and allowed the rain raindrops (redundancy) to fall upon her face. As Reach continued walking, the rain seemed to quicken, and gradually become (should be became, past tense agreement) heavier. The skies above turned a grey shade and the morning sunlight slowly faded, leaving the city under a tone of grey shades (repetition can work sometimes, but I don't think it fits here).
This seemed to me to be one of the few paragraphs that really broke the flow on account of the errors. This isn't to say that this piece is poorly written, rather it simply needed some better direction.

Edge is a very peculiar character...did Stockholm syndrome come to your mind when developing him? Nevertheless, I like him, and he stood out the most of any character for me. Very shady fellow, indeed. The only thing I'm a bit confused about him concerns his age: the early description of him seems to suggest he is a rather old man, but instead you mention he's but twenty-nine. Perhaps our views of age are clashing, but he certainly doesn't seem old to me.

I've only read up to Chapter Four, but I'll continue on it soon enough. I want to get to writing my own fic which I've been putting off for too long now.
 

PsiUmbreon

Well-Known Member
Tails, huh? That's the last place I would've thought a weakness. Anyways, that was a bit short, but good. Keep it up. I can't wait to see what happens with that injury Beatrix got...
 
Eszett said:
Edge is a very peculiar character...did Stockholm syndrome come to your mind when developing him? Nevertheless, I like him, and he stood out the most of any character for me. Very shady fellow, indeed. The only thing I'm a bit confused about him concerns his age: the early description of him seems to suggest he is a rather old man, but instead you mention he's but twenty-nine. Perhaps our views of age are clashing, but he certainly doesn't seem old to me.
Edge is difficult to write. He has a bit of history that will eventually shed light onto his character. However up til now I'm afraid you'll have to speculate. It is breifly mentioned, however it won't be until a little later that I really delve into Edge. You're right though, about his age not being a reflection of his personality, however that's what I wanted, to somewhat lay emphasis on the reason Edge is the way he is.
Sike Saner said:
Good action in that chapter, and again I say that those reptilian things are just awesome. I just loved how they were all mangled and shot up and such, yet still wouldn’t relent; the image of mutilated, bleeding things relentlessly attacking was a great one. And yet, they aren’t invincible, and the way to defeat them is rather interesting. I wonder, what might be the cause of the tail being their weak point?
The reptilian creatures will be included throughout the story as a primary threat, and I have in store some interesting things about them that will actually be opened up in the coming few chapters :p Glad you're enjoying it.
PsiUmbreon said:
Tails, huh? That's the last place I would've thought a weakness. Anyways, that was a bit short, but good. Keep it up. I can't wait to see what happens with that injury Beatrix got...
*Mikoto, Not Beatrix :p As mentioned to Sike, more light will be shed on the creatures, what they are, and their biology in the coming few chapters.

Thanks for the reviews guys, they're much much much appreciated.

-Josh
 
Josh said:

:(

Josh said:
“Was the necessary Gala?”

:(x2

The mistakes Eszett mentioned...

:(x3

Well I thought it was alright. Regarding the weakness' in the tails? Why does every enemy have to have a weak point these days? :( It's like "oh there's a vampire, stake its heart!" and "Oh that monster has a weakness to sunlight because it lives in the dark so let there be light!" I think you should have monsters that are impossible to beat, have no weaknesses, and then Reach all die out because of these monsters. Then we can laugh and say you wasted time writing a story that was less than 10 chapters and ended with monsters beating humans :(

But yeah. Point is, I hate the whole "Oh here's its weakness, let's exploit it guys!" Just seems so, cliche :(

But that's just me being picky and it's not as if I could do any better. Overall though, it was alright. Action scenarios were never made for the books :< I liked the fact that one of them got injured severely though :D! Hopefully, Mitoko will turn into a monster and attack the other members of Reach, killing them all :)

ENDE. With an "E".

Yeah my reviews are rubbish :(
 
Chapter 007 - The 99th floor

Really, it's about time I wrote this chapter, don't you think? I think Ryan's sadist moment kinda put me off, either that or, well truth be told I don't have an excuse. But it's here! So so much I want to just get on with, and things like that, but hey, can't rush, right? Anyway, blah blah blah, this is the forword, and oh whatever, enjoy!

-Josh
____________________________________​

Chapter 007: The 99th Floor

“Downtown Solar Central station repairs have finally been completed. All trains will revert back to SOT within the hour. The Planetist transport department would like to apologise for any inconveniences caused to the citizens of Solar since the accident.”

Gala sat alone underneath the Reunion bar area, half asleep, watching the news report regarding the accident of two days ago, which he was involved within, the memory of the day still fresh in his mind. From falling down the building before being caught by Mikoto, and coming home only to be involved in another death match with similar creatures. Mikoto had taken ill shortly after the fight, with blame being placed upon the wound she received from one of the creatures across her back. Gala hadn’t seen her since then. Sage had taken her into the medic station within Reunion, and neither had appeared out. The only person Sage had permitted into the room was Beatrix, and even she was tight lipped as to what Mikoto was going through.

Gala began to become more awake as the credits of the news programme rolled onto the screen. He sat up and rubbed one of his hands across his face, before slumping back down into the seat. His memory of Mikoto keeling over shortly after Sage had entered the room after the fight slowly returned to him… Mikoto telling everyone she was fine before keeling over unconscious replayed vibrantly in his mind. He clenched his fist and slammed down on the arm of the seat, cursing at himself under his breath.

Why did it have to be her? Why not me or something? And now I can’t even see what kind of state my best friend is in… this is bollocks…

Gala tilted his head back, looking towards the ceiling of the Reach mission room. He slowly closed his eyes as the familiar theme of “Doom music never makes things funny” emanated from the television set. He reached for the remote and turned the set off, before drifting off into another dreamless sleep.

***

“My my Edge, aren’t you the hero! You’ve really helped fixed up my bar nice and tight! I think it’s going to be drinks on the house for you tonight, no wait, make that everyone!”

“I don’t drink Mary…”

“Like hell!” Mary laughed, “I’ve seen that flask you fill up from my taps! I am security around here you know! Better not forget it!”

Edge turned away uneasily from Mary, walking out of the bar and upstairs. Mary simply smiled, shrugged her shoulders and looked at herself in the large mirror behind the bar. Her curly hair came down to her shoulders, and was a light brown colour. The colour was matched by her eyes, which matched perfectly into her slender face. As always, she was wearing a white blouse shirt, and plain black trousers. Mary was only nineteen years old; however she had served as the Barmaid for Reunion since she was merely fifteen. As well as that, she also managed the security of the bar, and more importantly, the headquarters of Reach. She had cameras set up in places even the members of Reach didn’t know of, and knew the entire building back to front, and inside out.

She and Edge had managed to completely repair the entire bar area from the mess it was from the fight with the creatures, into a new, improved and completely revamped Reunion. New lighting had been installed, as well as new mahogany panelling around the walls of the entire room. Varnished tables had been brought in to replace the old worn tables from before, and the entire bar had been crafted from old oak, and came complete with a large fish tank in the front. Even the floor of the club had been replaced, with a lush red carpet around the outskirts of the room, and towards the centre, more Mahogany panelling, to go with the walls. Gala had, according to Mary at least, put a fair amount of the Sixty Million he had received from the previous job to a very good cause. Thanks to the money, Reunion had been completely refurbished to a much higher standard than ever before in a matter of two days.

Mary looked once more into the mirror and the entrance to the Reach mission room, and also where Gala was, caught her eye,

“Wonder how Gala’s doing…” she quietly said to herself, cocking her head slightly, “he’s been really depressed lately… maybe I should go say hi… Mikoto being out of action has really gotten to him bad…”

“He’d probably like it if you did.”

“Wha..?”

Mary turned around and saw Beatrix stood at the bar, smiling slightly. Beatrix lifted one of her hands and ran it through her hair, before motioning to the door of the mission room.

“Go say hi to him chick, he could use some company.”

“Well why don’t we both go Beatrix?”

“I’m gonna go see Mikoto. Tell Gala she’s doing alright.”

“Is she really?”

Beatrix sighed and looked away from Mary, walking towards the stairwell and out of sight. Mary stood looking at where Beatrix had made her exit for a moment, wondering what was going on with Mikoto, and wondering whether or not she could lie to Gala about his best friend being alright… because the way Beatrix acting was sufficient evidence to suggest quite the opposite.

“Bleh, I guess it’s for the best… white lies never hurt.”

Mary shrugged and walked over to the entrance of the mission room, opening a concealed wall panel and entering a pin code upon the interface within the concealed alcove. The door slid open and Mary wandered down the metal spiral staircase and into the room. Gala was slumped down in the armchair, his face looking towards the ceiling, and his eyes closed.

“Aww…” Mary whispered, “He’s asleep… best not wake GALA!!”

Gala jumped up from his seat and looked at Mary, a fire burning in his eyes, she just laughed at him.

“Stupid bitch, what was that for?” He shouted.

“What’d you call me!?” Mary suddenly taking a serious tone,a nd advancing towards Gala,

“Err… I called you an um… a miss?” Gala said shakingly, as Mary advanced further towards him.

“That wasn’t nice Gala, gonna get hurt now ain’cha?”

Mary drew back her hand and slapped Gala clean across his face, causing him to swear extremely loudly. She just laughed and sat down on the table in the centre of the room. Gala sat for several minutes, rubbing his face and looking disdainfully at Mary, while she simply sat and smiled at him.

“Should see what me and Edge have done upstairs, it’s quite nice!” Mary said, quickly trying to avert Gala’s attention from the fact he now had a huge red handprint across his face.

“Meh.” Gala sighed, and sat back into the chair, sinking into the cushion.

“Come and have a look.”

Mary reached out her hand and motioned for Gala to grab it so she could help him up. Gala reached for her hand and pulled her on top of him, taking hold of her other arm with his other hand. He looked into her eyes and smiled,

“That fucking hurt, you know. If you weren’t so pretty I’d have probably kicked you’re ass by now.”

“How charming! Still haven’t lost that Gala spirit we all love, have you?”

“I try.”

“Me too.”

Gala and Mary sat in the chair for several minutes, staring into each others eyes and smiling at one another. Gala eventually loosened his grip on Mary’s arms, expecting her to pull away as he did, however Mary fell on top of him, and seconds later they were sharing a relaxing kiss, slumped down in the chair. Several minutes passed and eventually Mary pulled herself away from Gala, smiling once again at him. He returned the smile and raised his eyebrows at her.

“Not bad Mary.”

“Yeah, not bad yourself, considering you’re a womaniser and all that.”

“Oh thanks! Kiss me then kick me in the balls, way to go!”

“No problem, you gonna come see the new bar now?”

“I would’ve came anyway you know.”

“Yeah but the whole persuasion thing was more fun, wouldn’t you say?”

“I dunno…”

“WHAT?”

“Of course it was.” Gala smiled and pressed one of his fingers against his lips, “Nice strawberry taste, too.”

Mary smiled back and rolled her eyes, before walking towards the metal staircase that led upstairs into the bar. As they ascended the spiralling staircase, Gala made a grab for Mary’s behind which caused her to jump and fall back onto him. They paused in silence for a moment before breaking out into laughter and carrying on their ascent. Gala and Mary had always flirted with each other, ever since that day Gala had joined Reach as a full time member, and the two were introduced. Whenever Mikoto saw the two at it, she always used to sulk away, and whenever Gala had asked what was wrong, she always replied that she was totally fine. As he continued climbing and the laughter between himself and Mary subsided, Gala’s thoughts drifted back to Mikoto, and what she’d be like if she saw what had happened. His thoughts quickly returned to their worrisome state as he reminded himself of Mikoto up in the medical room, with only Sage as company. It occurred to him that he didn’t even know if she was awake, for all Gala knew, Mikoto was in a deep coma.

Mary opened the door into the bar area of Reunion and Gala’s mind swiftly changed upon the newly designed room that spread out before him. He noted the fresh Mahogany walls, and the amazing new Fish tank installed within the bar. He started clapping and turned to Mary,

“You and Edge really put a lot of work into this didn’cha?”

“Couldn’t have done it without the money you let us use.” Mary winked at Gala.

Gala laughed, “What else would I spend it on?”

“Knowing you Gala, pornography and biscuits.”

“Oh come on Mary!” Gala started laughing more so, “what do you take me for?”

Mary arched her eyebrows and smiled at Gala, “A lovable womaniser, what else?”

“Caught me!”

Mary’s smile weakened and she looked up at Gala, “Maybe you should go see Mikoto?”

“Can’t, Sage ain’t letting me in there.”

“Why not?”

An old voice emerged into the room, “You can go see her now if you like.”

Gala and Mary turned towards the staircase leading to the upper reaches of Reunion, and recognised the ever knowing glint in Sage’s eyes as he stood in the doorway looking at the two teenagers. He motioned with one of his hands up the stairs and nodded in Gala’s direction.

“She’s back to normal now Gala, you may go and say hello if you’d like, you too Mary, although I’d like a brief word with you before you go.”

Gala smiled at Sage and turned to Mary, bending over slightly and kissing her on the cheek before walking briskly to the staircase, passing Sage with a simple nod, and out of sight. Sage waited for the footsteps of Gala ascending the staircase to become silence before walking over to one of the new tables in the bar and sitting himself down. Mary walked towards the table and sat down directly opposite Sage.

“Is this about…” but Mary was cut off in mid-sentence,

“Mary my dear, I don’t care to trifle in teenage love affairs, however”

“Wait” Mary interjected, “Love? What love?”

“Maybe I worded it wrongly, or maybe you’re in denial about something. Figure it out.” Sage winked as he said this, and simply smiled at the now scornful look on Mary’s face. “Mary, I need you to give me one of the security tapes from the fight two days ago, I’d very much like to look at them in detail, these creatures are fascinating, and I’ve learned a lot about them from just looking at the chemicals left in Mikoto’s wound”

Mary shifted uneasily at the mention of chemicals and Mikoto, “Yeah, I’ll get you that no problem, but, what sort of chemicals?”

“You haven’t seen the creatures, have you?”

“Nopes.”

“Hmm, their anatomy is very delicate, it’s lizard like, yet there are signs of something… something else. Like these creatures were born of another being.”

“What are you saying?”

“The way they are… they seem to… well, be some form of parasite.”

“A parasite?”

“I’m not too sure myself as of now, however I’ll look into it once I’ve seen these beasts in action. Don’t worry; you’ll be, as ever, in the know.”

“I’ll go get the tapes for you then.”

“Could you bring them up into my room dear? Oh, and a bottle of absinthe would be lovely too, don’t forget the sugar, ice and of course, the most important ingredient, the glass from which I shall be taking my drink!”

Mary stifled a laugh at Sage’s apparent enthusiasm in a simple glass, and rose from her seat. Replacing the chair she looked up once more at Sage,

“How is Mikoto doing?”

“She’s fine, I’ve fixed her up nice and clean, you should go see her.”

Mary smiled and walked away behind the bar and out of sight. Sage sat in the chair playing with his beard and looking airily into space, his mind whizzing with thoughts of what the creatures may be, and how they are produced.

***

The ceiling fan spun airily from its place on the ceiling and cast an ever moving shadows upon the ceiling from the light upon which they were attached. The ceiling and walls – white as could possible be perceived by the eye, and the floor, metal grating. The room was part of a network of rooms that all formed up the central laboratories of the Planetist HQ. In the middle of the room network was the lift tower. The only entrance to this floor was by taking a lift up to the 126th floor, and then back down in a separate lift. This was the 99th floor of the Planetist HQ, home of the top secret laboratories, where the most glorious Planetist creations of all were brought into being.

Only thirty people had access to this floor of wonders, one of which being the head Planetist scientist. Professor Caroll J. Holly sat at her desk alone in the white room, twiddling a pen between her fingers and looking over several sheets of notes. Caroll sighed and leaned back in her chair, looking up at the white ceiling, and the slow rotation of the ceiling fan. Blonde hair fell just above her shoulders, and her circle-rimmed glasses were perched cleanly upon her nose. On her left cheek, a small black mark resided, a beauty spot, as she liked to call it. Upon her person, she had a nightgown and her white lab coat, and upon her feet, her favourite slippers – designed to look like a buck-toothed rabbit.

Compared to the rest of the residents of the 99th floor, Professor Caroll looked certainly out of place; however it was under her authority that the operation of the Planetist central laboratories operated. Although she was only thirty seven years old, Professor Caroll looked nothing older than twenty five. Many of the 99th floor scientists placed the blame for this on a simple aging formula that Caroll had obviously developed in great fear of becoming a hag. For the less naïve, it was a simple case of knowing that the woman was simple blessed with good looks and a flair for leadership, which was about as close to the truth as any one of them could really get.

The phone upon her desk began to ring, and Caroll snapped out of her trance like state of staring into space and snapped up the receiver, placing it against her ear and smiling as the voice on the other end of the line played into her ear,

“Oh it’s you, is it?” Caroll said, arching her eyebrows slightly at unmentionable thoughts the speaker had managed to place into her head with mere words. I hate this bastard…

“Good evening professor,” the voice on the opposite end of the phone line sounded old, worn and crackled, “I trust he’s almost ready?”

“Give or take Hydrus, give or take.”

“Excellent work my dear, I shall be down to see you in the next few days and of course, to meet what may award you more than anything else you’ve ever developed.”

Caroll smiled and closed her eyes, rocking back into her chair and tilting her head to look at the ceiling, “All in a days work Hydrus. What of those lizard… things that the boys below have been developing?”

“Ah, I knew they’d eventually pique your interest.” There was a brief pause, “They’ve been working remarkably well, evolving at an unusual rate, too. Something close to your standard of work in fact.”

“Oh come off it Hydrus, those things are shoddy workmanship, and you’ll see a true artists craft when you see what I have in store for you, mark that in your diary.”

“I look forward to it.”

The receiver of the phone went dead as Caroll leaned forward and replaced the phone on the desk. She rubbed her forehead and looked at the clock upon the wall; the face read that it was only 8:29pm. Yawning, Caroll rose from her seat and picked up the notes she had been looking over from her desk. She walked over to the exit of the room and pressed a button to the left of the door, and stood momentarily still as the door slid open, allowing her to pass through. She raised her head once more to the ceiling as she trudged through the bright white corridor towards the elevator in the centre of floor 99. She smiled and picked up the pace, muttering under her breath.

“Poor Hydrus… the old fool doesn’t know what’s coming.”

***

“We agreed that you’d get rid of them, what was the problem? The creatures weren’t strong enough?” echoed a quiet voice through the club. Strewn across the floor were several bodies, all stained with their own blood. The floor of the room appeared as if a crimson tide had roared into the room and then, as quickly as it had appeared, vanished, leaving the mess upon the floor as the memory of it being there.

“It’s not our fault” a voice returned through the darkness, fear tainting the words, “you’re the ones who gave us the creatures, it’s not our fault they’re not up to scratch.”

“Maybe you’re right, for once, and that they weren’t up to scratch, however the agreement was, that I tell you the killer of Leonardo, and you get rid of Reach, any means were at your disposal, if the creatures failed, find another way, common sense really.”

“But… but Creed, what other way! Those creatures are easily twice the strength of anything we could have thrown!”

“You just don’t get it do you…” Creed advanced into the light of the room, trudging through the pools below his feet, and drawing out his scimitar, “we had an agreement.”

“You’re a coward; you just wanted us to do it because you didn’t want your own hands dirty”

“Oh you are a clever one you are, you’re also extremely overweight too, and how does it feel, being wider than you are tall?”

“What did you say!?” the man in the back reached into the shadows behind himself and pulled out a gun, “Say that again you son of a bitch.”

“If you’re going to insult me, do it properly.”

“What?”

“Effort! Goodness… I’m getting bored of you, remember this one before you go, your life is ending one minute at a time.”

“My life still has years!” the fat man shouted, and before Creed knew it, a flurry of bullets erupted from the gun pointed directly at him and screamed through the air. Creed dived to the side however one of the bullets ripped through his shoulder, causing him to fall to his knees, clutching the fresh wound.

“Nice shot, but it’s over.”

“It’s over? Yeah, for you! I just tagged you real good!” The fat man screamed out with glee at landing a hit on one of the leading Planetists, “you guys aren’t as tough as they say, you can use a weapon but what else you got! You’re just humans, like the rest of us!” the fat man shouted, letting loose another flurry of bullets as the words came from his mouth. Creed jumped into the air and readied his scimitar, noting that the man hadn’t seen him jump to the ceiling of the room as the bullets continued to spray out towards where he had moments ago been knelt down. He felt gravity begin to take force and descended towards the fat man, who was still laughing like a maniac. As Creed landed upon him, the laughter stopped. Seconds later, the man fell apart into two pieces; Creed had cut him clean in half, right down the middle.

“And that is why you don’t shoot me.” Creed said, raising himself and replacing his scimitar, “and also the reason this is the last time I ever employ the help of one of you ridiculous mobs.” Creed turned tail and left the room, slamming the door enough as to knock it off its hinges.

***

Gala closed the door of the medic room and walked over to the bedside. Mikoto lay motionless, not unlike a statue. The only motion was of her breathing. Opposite Gala were several monitors, the only one he really distinguished from the rest was from the steady beep coming from one of them – the heart rate monitor. Everything seemed normal; aside from the fact Mikoto was unconscious. Gala stood motionless, looking down at the face of his friend. Mikoto’s short brown hair was fanned out below her head, and Gala noted that her skin was extremely white, and that she looked reminiscent of an angel.

The door to the room opened, and Gala turned to see Sage stood looking at him once more. Sage gave a slight nod and entered the room; Gala simply stood motionless looking at Sage. Several minutes passed by before either one of them spoke; it was Gala that broke the silence,

“When will… she be better?” he said, keeping his voice low as not to stir Mikoto.

“She’s better now. She’s just asleep; I told you it was all fine, didn’t I?” Sage replied, that ever friendly smile appearing across his face.

“How long?”

“She’ll be up in the morning I expect. Has Mary been yet?”

Gala went to answer, however the answer was given as Mary appeared in the doorway, holding the security tape Sage had asked for in her hand. She entered the room and handed the tape to Sage, who then wished Gala and Mary goodnight, and disappeared out of the room, closing the door ever so quietly on his way. Mary looked down at Mikoto and then at Gala,

“When will she be awake?” Mary asked,

“Sage said tomorrow morning.”

“Hmm,” Mary looked up at Gala once more, “What’s up with you?”

“Mary, Mikoto is my best friend, seeing her like this isn’t really… well… something I want.”

He looked once more at Mary and then proceeded to leave the room, leaving Mary staring at the door as Gala vanished out of sight. She sighed and turned to Mikoto,

“I don’t get that kid sometimes, one minute he’s all happy go lucky, and then he’ll get all solemn like that. Bipolar, gotta be, what do you think Mik?”

Mikoto lay as motionless as ever, and Mary sighed once more. She sat down in the simple chair next to the bed, and found herself faced with sunlight filtering through the windows. She sat up and rubbed her eyes, realising that she had dozed off in the chair and not realised it.

“Holy hell! I slept there the whole OW OW OW MY BACK!” Mary shouted, feeling the prize for sleeping in a chair all night creep up and down her spine. She began reaching around herself to try and rub her back and ease the pain, but to no avail, a minute or so later, a voice entered the room,

“Keep your voice down Mary.”

Mary stopped squirming and trying to reach her back and turned to the doorway of the room, it was Beatrix. She stood in her pyjamas, rubbing her eyes and half looking at Mary.

“Sorry Bea, I just woke up, and my back, and yeah…”

Beatrix waved her hand in the air, trying to get Mary to shut up, and turned to Mikoto, who had begun to stir from the commotion within the room. Beatrix and Mary looked over at Mikoto as she rose from her sleep. Mikoto opened her eyes and glanced at the both, smiling a little and rubbing her eyes.

“I just had the nicest dream.”

End of Chapter 007.
 

Sike Saner

Peace to the Mountain
Gala was slumped down in the armchair, his face looking towards the ceiling, and his eyes closed.

“Aww…” Mary whispered, “He’s asleep… best not wake GALA!!”

Gala jumped up from his seat and looked at Mary, a fire burning in his eyes, she just laughed at him.

XDDDDDD Frell , that was hilarious.

“Oh you are a clever one you are, you’re also extremely overweight too, and how does it feel, being wider than you are tall?”

And thus, Creed continues to say really cool things. I just love that guy’s dialogue.

As Creed landed upon him, the laughter stopped. Seconds later, the man fell apart into two pieces; Creed had cut him clean in half, right down the middle.

“And that is why you don’t shoot me.”

Oh, damn! O_O Okay, now that was just fricking awesome.



So. There was more awesomeness from Credd there in that chapter, which is always enjoyable. I also really liked the interaction between Gala and Mary. Those two have great chemistry together.
 
Right, here's the problem.

This thread has been closed due to Zephyr Flare explaining to me it was actually against the rules to have all the opening chapters bundled together. Hence, a new thread has been made, which you can reach here;

http://serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?p=3760624

Sorry for any inconveniences guys, and I hope this doesn't affect any of your interest in this fic.

Gracias,
~Josh
 
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