Happy birthday to me
I don't live in a tree
But I think I will
If the writers don't stop spewing out HGSS swill
Oh, this is the last HGSS advertisathon ep? Alright, I GUESS I can stand watching it, then.
-Why are they going to fight in the most run-down stadium ever? Do all the tournement stadiums just never get repaired from all the damage? Are there 1,000,000,000 of these things scattered around each region?
-Dialga and Palkia stadiums? Are these legitimate ancient ruins, then?
-Oh, Kotone doesn't know about them. Good time to remind the kids about these legendary Pokemon before they're dragged out for the TG finale, then!
-We pledge allegence, to the statues, of the dragon gods of spacetime, and to the anarchy for which Pokemon stands, one region, with like 20 cities, and friendship and trust for all.
-And now they're discussing their goals and dreams. This is one of those episodes, isn't it?
-Team Rocket already!
-You never properly realize how weird Drapion looks until you see a mecha of it.
-Hey! Monferno's still alive!
-Haha, Piplup. You're such a card when the writers remember that you have a personality.
-TR was surprisingly smart today! Making two tunnels to throw off the twerps? Brilliant!...relatively speaking, of course.
-Kazunari? How, exactly, is giving Dawn your Pokegear going to help?
-Having the decoy mecha blow up in your faces is what you get for following the small tunnel instead of the one that was the same size as the one you knew the mecha was in before.
-But wait! The other tunnel leads to...a river?!
-The wild water Pokemon helpfully let Our Heroes Who Aren't Ash And Dawn know which way the Drapion mecha went. How convenient that the wild Pokemon knew enough to help OHWAAAD.
-Or is this some natural thing relating to the tunnels that lets them know or WHAT IS GOING ON HERE.
-Kotone burns some more of her Pokegear texting allowance to let AshnDawn know where they're going.
-TR, quite understandably, thinks they've won! At least they didn't start celebrating the instant they got 5 feet away from the twerps for once.
-STARPATOR IS STILL ALIVE TODAY. What is this, a parade of all the Pokemon on Ash's team we haven't seen since Snowpoint?
-I have a new favorite "team rocket is fried to a crisp by something" shot!
-And TR gets blasted off as quickly as usual.
-Now for BATTLING. Horray?
-Ash and Dawn both send out fire types. EXCELLENT idea, seeing as both of your enemies have water Pokemon. Luckily for them, the writers decide to stuff all three Johto starters into one battle instead of having Kazunari and Kotone do the smart thing and send out Totodile and Marill(instead of Chikorita).
-Kazunari is as baffled as I am about why Kotone sent out Chikorita.
-Blah blah skipping over lots of boring battling blah
-Chikorita can take a beating!
-And Totodile evolves! Giving us...what, the second Croconaw we've seen in the entire series?
-Skipping over more battling, and oh look, Kazunari and Kotone lost.
-Hey look guys! Kazunari has a FATHER! Whose FACE IS SHOWN! He's officially out of the cool kids' club!
-Kazunari and that other girl have to go back to Johto...by blimp. Haven't these people heard of AIRPLANES? No, seriously. Why is it always BLIMPS?
-I'm sure Kazunari's saying something cool(probably about FRIENDSHIP!), I just don't know what.
-Hey! It's the gym leader whose only notable trait(according to all her gym leader sign slogans) is that she's supposedly pretty! And the stoner gym leader who look(s/ed) like a surfer dude but uses ghost Pokemon! (although Morty's clothes were always black in the games, so...I'm wondering why everything else has him wearing surfer dude blue. Until now, when he has his Mismagius-y outfit, obviously.) I guess they had to advertise the Johto GLs too with the brief mention of those two.
-Brock gets a POKEGEAR. An otherwise useless character with the Special Stuff-Doing Device of the Game? He's Max now! 8D (Brock is going to use that twice, maybe. Just like Dawn's coin flip app.)