1. We have moved to a new forum system. All your posts and data should have transferred over. Welcome, to the new Serebii Forums. Details here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Be sure to join the discussion on our discord at: Discord.gg/serebii
    Dismiss Notice
  3. If you're still waiting for the e-mail, be sure to check your junk/spam e-mail folders
    Dismiss Notice

Awakening of Darkness: an AAMayL fic

Discussion in 'Shipping Fics' started by Silent Shadow, Nov 25, 2004.


How do you like my chaps so far?

  1. Excellent! Keep writing!

  2. It's okay. It's really funny!

  3. Needs more length

  4. ummm...... not the best I've seen

  5. Eww! I hate it! Stop writing now!!

Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. Silent Shadow

    Silent Shadow Earth Trainer

    Awakening of Darkness: an AAMayL fic. (Rating: PG)

    Okay, I’m starting a Fic. Yes, it is an AAMayL; though the title makes it sound like it’s not. It’s only my first so it might take a while for each chap. So, please, read, review and reply! :D Oh, one more thing: the chaps might be short in the beginning but they’ll start to get longer. Also, I’m not sure how chaps there will be, but there should be at least 7 or 8. Anyway, here it is:

    ~Awakening of Darkness~

    Chapter one: Chaos in the Shadows

    It was a bright, sunny morning as Ash sat on the riverbank just outside of Fortree city.​
    “Hey, Pikachu,” he said. “Do you think I can get my last 2 badges by the time May gets all her ribbons?”​
    Pikachu started to say something, but May showed up.​
    “I don’t know. Can you?” May said. She appeared of nowhere, as Ash was used to, but this time he did not expect it, and he tumbled into the river because of this. “Do you think so?”​
    “May! I thought I told you to warn me next time you try that!” Ash snapped at May, although she knew he was just joking around. May has had feelings for Ash since she first met him, but didn’t know if he felt the same. And she didn’t know how to tell him. Of course, Ash has same problem, too.​
    “Oh, sorry.” She told him, “I forgot. But next time, you should be ready!”​
    “Next time?!” Ash yelled, “What do you mean, next time?”​
    “Pika! Pika!” Pikachu said. Ash knew what he was saying, because of the fact that he had been with Pikachu since he was 10.​
    “Uh, May, we should get going. If you look behind you, you’ll see that Brock and Max are waiting for us!” Ash pointed to show where they were. ​
    “Yeah, you’re right. Well? What are you waiting for? C’mon! They might leave us here…” She said out loud, …but, actually some alone time with Ash might be just what I need right now. She thought.So she followed Ash over to Max and Brock. Little did they know, they were being watched by a mysterious stranger.​
    “How can they be having fun at a time like this?” the stranger said to himself, “Don’t they know that an unstoppable evil will soon take over the world? I have to warn them! No one will be safe when this happens!” he ran from his hiding place, “Hey you! You have to get out of here, NOW!!!”​
    “Who are you?” Ash asked, “And why are you here?”​
    “My name is of no importance, and I am here to warn every person of an event that will occur in the future!"​
    It was May’s turn to talk now, except she was whispering to Ash. “Look, I say we ditch the freak on three. Ready? 1…2…” She was cut short by Ash, before she could say “3” and run.​
    “Wait. Maybe we should hear him out. You know, in case he has any info on this so-called event. So? Talk now.”​
    “Okay,” the stranger said, “Look, in the future, an unspeakable evil will arise and try to take over this land.” He continued, “In turn, he will not be satisfied by ruling only Hoenn, and try to take over this entire planet! I have a feeling that you are the one chosen to stop this evil.”​
    "We’ll see, in the future, if you are right or if you’re just messing with our heads.” Ash claimed. “Yeah, right” He added sarcastically.​
    The stranger walked away. “Oh we’ll see, all right. We’ll see... And you will be the first to find out how wrong you are, little boy!” And for some reason, Ash had the same feeling too. “Hmm, weird” Ash thought.​

    To be continued…​

    Was Ash really the chosen one or is this somebody’s idea of a joke? Find out in: [SPOIL]Chaos in the Shadows, part 2![/SPOIL]

    You Likie? I had my sister read it and she liked it, So I hope you do!
    Last edited: Jun 20, 2005
  2. Valkyrie X

    Valkyrie X Well-Known Member

    Pretty good so far. I wonder what this "evil" in the story is...?
  3. Silent Shadow

    Silent Shadow Earth Trainer

    You will have to wait to find out!:D But I'll be nice and give you one--ONE--spoiler, but that's it until the next chap:
    [SPOIL]"What? You again?!" Ash complained.[/SPOIL]
    And what do you know, The next chap is done! just tell me when u want it.I'll post it immediately!
    Last edited: Nov 25, 2004
  4. .:MayFan:.

    .:MayFan:. Guest

    Uhh I liked It could have been much longer
  5. Silent Shadow

    Silent Shadow Earth Trainer

    Yeah, But it was only the first chap. And this is my first fic. Anyway, here is the new chap:

    After a weird encounter with a mysterious stranger, if you remember from the last chap, Ash had a feeling he made the wrong decision by saying he didn’t believe the stranger’s story. Here, in this chapter, you will discover that the feeling was right, and he will soon find that out. Now this will be good! And if you didn't notice, this one is a bit longer than the first.

    Chapter two: Chaos in the Shadows, Part II

    “Wow that was freaky. Who the heck was that?” Ash questioned himself, “and what was that weird feeling?”​
    May, as if reading his mind said, “Well if we would’ve just ran like I said, we’d have no idea who that psychopath was, and we could be in Lilycove city by now! And I could be shopping at the huge Department Store! But no, we had to listen to his psychotic theory about an ‘unspeakable evil’ and get stuck here in the tall grass with no idea where we are!”​
    “Stop your whining, May.” Max commented, “What if that stranger might have been right? We should be ready for anything now. If he’s right, we can be ready and be able to defend ourselves. Besides, with Ash’s new Salamence and Flygon, it won’t be a problem!”​
    Then suddenly, Brock joined in. “Listen. Just stop fighting and focus on getting to Lilycove city! Then you can argue all you want.”​
    And yet again, they were being watched by the very same person who, now was listening in on their conversation, they had seen last week. (a/n: Man, he’s getting annoying.) He had a good hiding spot among the tall grass, but he was still being very careful not to be seen.​
    Ash got a very chilling feeling just then. “Does anyone else have the feeling we’re being watched… again? Wait, this feels just like the first time we met that weird stranger. Maybe he is following us?”​
    “I hope not. If he is, there is definitely something he wants with us.” Max explained. “but what could he want?”​
    Ash was getting annoyed. “That’s it! If you’re there, get out here NOW!!”​
    There was a sudden rattling in the grass. Ash saw the look on Brock’s face. He recognized it from a long time ago. He was scared. Out of nowhere, the stranger jumped out of the tall grass.​
    “What? You again?!” Ash complained. “I thought we got rid of you! Look, we don’t want to listen to your psychotic theory again! There is no evil arising. Can you see anything?!”​
    The stranger stayed silent for a while, and then started talking in a weird, almost evil voice.​
    “I see an arising evil. Just look in front of you! You’ve been missing the most important fact, ME!!!”​
    (a/n: Uh-oh! Plot twist!)​
    "You?!” The kids said at once, “The evil is you?! How?”​
    “if you would’ve listened to my prophecy, you would have been suspicious of how I knew about the evil! My name is Malek, and I have come to take over this puny planet and all that it stands for. No one shall get in my way, because if they do, they will be DESTROYED! Let this be a warning to all of you!”​
    A ring of fire suddenly surrounded them.​
    “Okay, this is just weird.” Ash commented, “Only one way to do this: Go! Salamence! Use flamethrower now!”​
    Then May joined the battle. “Go Blaziken! You too!”​
    “You can’t hurt me, I am invincible! Your dismal attacks are just a ticklish strike against me! What? Is that all you’ve got? Just try me!” Malek taunted.​
    “Uh… May?” Ash started, “I have to tell you something. Just in case we don’t make it out of here. ‘And this may be my only chance to tell her!’” Ash thought.​

    Interesting, no? Well, if it is, then read the next chapter: [SPOIL]The Beginning of the End![/SPOIL]
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2004
  6. .:MayFan:.

    .:MayFan:. Guest

    Uhh well...umm I liked it write more please:)
  7. Shiny May

    Shiny May Guest

    well let's give you a review from me.

    First of all, more description. You interline (sp?) the thoughts which can be annoying. You'd better make a sentence and then stop. Something like this.

    It's just a quick example. Not the best I've written. Also try to bring some more description in areas and all so people can feel how the area looks like.

    Also work on the length. Your chaps are really short and try to build up the suspension so readers will be excited to read your chaps.

    That's why I keep my writers waiting !! j/k !!! :D Also take your time to write a chap. I do and it only makes me feel better when I finish a chap and I know I've given it enough time.

    Maybe I"ll think of something else later!
    Keep it up!! I like the plot so far, it's mysterious
  8. Silent Shadow

    Silent Shadow Earth Trainer

    That's good! do you mind if I add that in SM? But yeah, I'll keep that in mind, and try to make them longer and everything else! Ugh, my sister was reading the 2nd chap, and she seriously messed it up! The way she read it made the ending sound so weird!
    Last edited: Nov 25, 2004
  9. Ember

    Ember Guest

    Ok, you need to make each chap longer. It is way to short. Also, you need to add some description like the surroundings and what the person looks like. You also could slow it down a little, you seem a tad bit rushed. Ok?
  10. Silent Shadow

    Silent Shadow Earth Trainer

    Yeah. I'll focus on that. But like I said in the beginning of the first chapter, it's my first fic so it's not going to be perfect. But is it good though, for my first one?
  11. Megaflare

    Megaflare Guest

    wow another AAMayL fic has been reveal and yes it is a good fic to be your first one and I am sure you will make a good work with this one.
  12. WOW, Very good fic man. AAMayL and AdvanceShipping ROX!! *Does good guy pose, similar to Gai from Naruto heheheh*
  13. Dark_Charizard

    Dark_Charizard Yarr...

    Pretty good! I like it! Keep it up!
  14. Ayra

    Ayra Guest

    It's pretty good, could use some more description.

    ~Ayra~ ;267;
  15. mystic_girl

    mystic_girl Guest

    Its a good story, but u need to put more description in, and some more length in. And its rushed a bit. If Ash is gonna express his feelings to May now its abit to early. The plots okay *sighs with releif.* It's really good for an AAMayL fic. Anyway just slow down abit ,Kay?


    Edit:Oh yeah, is there gonna be any rivalry with Ash and some other guy like Brendan?
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 29, 2004
  16. Silent Shadow

    Silent Shadow Earth Trainer

    The keyword there is IF.;) So don't say it's too early yet! But you're right; If Ash is, it would definitely be too early! And yes, I will slow down a bit more though. And um, I noticed you edited, m_g the answer is... I honestly don't know.:(

    EDIT: Hello? Is anyone there? How come no one's posted for a while? Don't you like it?:(
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2004
  17. Chibi Pika

    Chibi Pika Stay positive

    Eh, well, I said no shipping requsts in my fanfic reviewer post, but you PMd me after only reading my sig, so I'll give ya a break ^^' Well, it could use description. We know what the animé characters look like, but you still need to describe them, the Pokémon, and Malek, who we don't even know what he looks like. Overall, well, interesting plot twist from what I was expecting, though i don't see why Malek would just come out and explain his plot to them =/ The author's notes in the middle are unneeded, however. Keep working at this and add description. Like for instance, instead of “Only one way to do this: Go! Salamence! Use flamethrower now!” it could be: Only one way to do this: Go, Salamence! Use Flamethrower now!" he yelled, throwing forward a red and white ball that opened to reaveal a flash of white light. The beam immediately took the form of an massive blue dragon, intimidating and powerful with blue spikes along its face and stout clawed limbs. It took to the skies immediately on its immense rounded red wings, roaring and spouting intense red flames at Malek. Or something of that sort, I wrote that in like thirty seconds. Seven ;249;(7/10)

  18. Silent Shadow

    Silent Shadow Earth Trainer

    Ooh! 7? Cool! 30 seconds?! You must be an expert! Anyway, I've waited long enough to finish the new chap so it's done now. Here ya go:

    At the end of the last chap, if you remember, Ash and May started a battle with Malek and found that the strongest Flamethrowers together were ticklish to him. With nothing else to try against him, Ash thought that this may be his only chance to tell May how he felt about her. So he started to tell her and that is where we left off. Okay, this will be a longer one; it’s about 3.1 pages long on Microsoft Word. Anyway, please read, review, and reply. Hope you like it!​

    Chapter Three: The Beginning of the End

    With the ring of fire burning around them, Ash and May fought their hardest to defeat Malek. Ash with Salamence, and May with Blaziken. Throwing their attacks at him with their highest power still wasn’t enough.​
    “This isn’t working Ash! We need to think of something to beat him!” May said, “There has to be some way! Hmm… I’ve got it!”​
    “Yeah? So what do we do? What is it?” Ash asked rapidly.​
    “Look.” May pointed at Malek’s hand. “You see that crystal he’s holding? That must be the key to beating him. If we destroy it...”​
    “We destroy him!” Ash finished the sentence, “But it seems too easy. Something’s wrong with this. One glowing, shining, crystal can’t be the source of all his power. It’s probably a hologram projector or something. Just a guess. What are the odds of me being right?"​
    “Ha! You finally get it! It is too easy…For me! You can’t win!!” Malek taunted them. And now, they were just getting annoyed.​
    “Yeah, you’re right, Ash.” May agreed. “That can’t be it. But we can at least try! It’s worth a shot, literally. Brock! Now!”​
    “Now, Swampert use Mud Shot! Aim for that crystal and destroy it!” Brock commanded. ​
    “While I take out this weird ring of fire! Come on out, Flygon! Get rid of that ring!” He jumped on Flygon’s back and took off into the smoke-filled sky. That wasn’t a good idea because of the fact he would obviously choke on it…but because of Flygon’s strong wings blowing the thick, dark smoke away, he was fine and able to command Flygon to use its Sand Tomb to get rid of the burning, yellow-orange flames.​
    “All right! Great job Flygon!” Ash cheered. “But it’s not over yet. Now use Fla--”​
    “No! You must stop now!” Malek ordered, “Please!”​
    “What the…? Did his voice just completely change?!” said Max, confused.​
    “Wow. Man, right now, I’d believe anything! I’ve seen it all now.” Ash exclaimed.​
    “Listen,” Malek said, “I am not really evil, I’m being possessed by an evil spirit and… I… oh-no!” Malek transformed into his other personality.​
    “Disregard everything that… that… goody-goody freak has said and obey only me!”
    He transformed again. “I will tell you the story of my true identity, but I do not have much time. My evil personality will soon take over permanently. This is how it all started………” He had a flashback to his first encounter with the evil spirit. “It all started when I found this mystical amulet (he held it out) and unleashed its true power by pulling it from a stone deep inside the Oracle Caves and placing it around my neck. It was then my soul was inhabited by a sleeping dark spirit that hadn’t awakened until a couple weeks ago, which was when I first met you. When it awakened, it saw you and decided that your spiky black hair and shining black eyes made you look intimidating, and chose to test this theory. His urge to be the strongest person in the world made him invincible to any attack” the flashback ended. “That is his one true weakness: Make him feel weak and he will become weak, but it is not easy to trick him. Do that and victory is yours!​
    “So, we have to make him feel weak, huh?” Ash repeated. That shouldn’t be too hard. Right guys?”​
    “I’m still lost on the ‘not evil’ part.” Max said. While Brock understood the whole thing, amazingly. And May just woke up. “What? What’d I miss?”​
    “Uh-oh. Quick! Get ready for a battle now! I’m transforming again! Wait, one more thing,” Malek explained, trying to hold off the permanent transformation, “If you defeat the Darkness within me, it will be gone forever, leaving me free to re-inhabit my body.” His last words were, “I’m counting on you!” before he permanently transformed.​
    The dark Malek just chuckled. “With that horrible nuisance gone, no one can save you now! Prepare for your destruction!”
    There were many different thoughts buzzing through Ash’s head right now. Thoughts like: he’s right. No one can help us now; should I tell May now?; Do I have enough time?; what can I do? I can’t just stand here! Suddenly, a stroke of heroic bravery streamed through every nerve in his body. ​
    “Don’t worry, May! We’ll win together, or together we’ll fall! You’re not alone, no matter what!” Ash yelled. Apparently, the thought of protecting May gave him the strength to do anything now.​
    “Ash? Is that really you?” May asked.​
    “Shh. Don’t say anything. I’ll protect you, I promise! Come on out, Salamence,” The red and blue dragon Pokemon exploded from the Ultra Ball, “and Flygon,” While the red, green, and brown Pokemon flew out of the Poke Ball and screeched loudly, then charged up into the sky. “And use your strongest Hyper Beam!!” Ash commanded. Both of the dragons charged an orange energy, roared as loud as possible, and fired the huge beam straight at Malek.​
    “What Did I tell you?! You can’t hurt me with any of your weak attacks!!! I am INVINCIBLE!” Malek shouted. ​
    “Don’t be so sure!” Ash commented, “We know your weakness and we won’t stop fighting until you’re defeated!”​
    “You think you’re so brave, don’t you, boy? Don’t get your hopes up kid. You may know my only weakness, but how do you plan to use it against me? I’m just getting started!” Malek taunted, as he’s done repeatedly. His piercing red eyes stared directly into Ash’s.​
    “Really? Well so are we, Malek!” May and Ash said at the same time, “And if you think you can beat us that easy, think again!” then Ash continued, “Because you can’t as long as I have my friends by my side! So? Give me your best shot!”​
    "Hmm…you look like you are worthy of being destroyed by the future Ruler of Shadows, so…” Malek charged a weird black energy in his hand, then teleported behind Ash. “I’ll give you more than just my best shot! Shadow Disruption!” A searing black laser shot from the palm of his hand… and pounded Ash right on the back of his neck.​
    “ASH! NO!!!!” May cried, holding back tears, “No. You can’t be gone! I… I… I love you…” Too bad no one heard her. She wasn’t crying now. She was mad. “Malek!!!! You’ll pay for this!”​
    But it was too late. Malek had vanished into thin air, leaving no trace of his battle except an unconscious Ash. He just lay there, not moving at all. Brock and Max rushed over.​
    “Is he okay?” Brock asked, “Will he make it?”​
    May was too busy crying to hear Brock. “That’s it! He’s gone too far this time, and I won’t let him take another one of my friends!”​
    There was a movement from behind them. They all whirled around and gasped. “Ash?!”​
    “Who’d you think it was?” Ash joked weakly, “Officer Jenny?”​
    “Where?!” Brock exclaimed.​
    “I’m glad to have you back Ash.” May smiled, “I thought I’d never see you again, and I can’t stand the thought of losing you. You’re my best friend.” ​
    “Thanks May, you too.” Ash smiled back. “Really, I mean it.”​
    Max ruined the moment. “Um, guys? Shouldn’t we follow Malek, even though we don’t know where to go?”​
    “Oh, I know where to go, Max.” Ash claimed, “I think that when he hit me with that laser, a part of him came into me. But we can wait for a while…”​
    “So? Where is it?” Brock asked.​
    Ash pointed to a tall mountain surrounded by pitch black shadows and ghostly spirits. “Looks suspicious, doesn’t it? Hey, May, let me see the PokeNav for a sec…” he gasped, “Look what day it is!” May took the Pokemon Navigator from Ash’s hands.​
    It was her turn to gasp. “It’s… It’s… December 24th?! We lost track of time, badly! Max! We gotta get home now!”​
    “Wait! May, can we come with you?” Ash and Brock asked, “Since it’ll take forever to get back to Kanto, we were wondering if we could come with you.”, “So? Can we?”​
    “Sure, c’mon guys!” May and Max cheered happily. “You comin’ or not?” ​
    Ash was lost in thought. ‘Alright! Christmas is the perfect time to confess to May about how I really feel!’
    “Hello? Ash, are you in there?” Brock teased.​
    “Yeah, I’m coming. But I can’t get my mind off how Malek just disappeared like that. It’s confusing, only psychic Pokemon can do that… Unless… no way. He couldn’t be a…”Ash was questioning himself, “That’s impossible.”​
    Meanwhile, back at Malek’s fortress, he was about ready to breathe fire from his black hole of a mouth. “How?! I was this close to beating them!!! How could I get so close and still lose?! Hmm…” He thought back to the battle. “Maybe the boy was right, maybe with his friends beside him, he can’t be defeated. That must be his weakness. So if I get rid of his friends, I get rid of him! I think I’ll start with that bratty girl, and then work my way up until that kid is gone! Then I will be free to take over the world, with no one to stop me! Servant, come to me.” The tall, young man came over. ​
    “Yes, sir. What is your request?” he asked.​
    “Where is the boy headed now?” Malek questioned.​
    The servant typed on the keyboard, then looked at the computer screen. “Sensors indicate that the boy is headed for a city in southwest Hoenn named… Petalburg city.”​

    Okay, now that had to be a good one, right? And since this is only the 3rd chap, you know there will be much more to come! So, what do you think? All opinions accepted. Note: it is December 24th only in the Fic, not for me in real life. I wish it was! :D
    Last edited: Dec 6, 2004
  19. Delta Halo

    Delta Halo Guest

    Me likie! It's really good to be your first Fic, Elite Arbiter! So, please write more!
  20. Ember

    Ember Guest

    I like it, a lot! Keep up the good work, it could use a little more leangth but it's still very good.

Share This Page