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Battling and Contests Two Leagues of Houen

lisalover

I'm a KA water bunny
Hi people. Welcome to my thread. I’m a beginner so this is my first attempt at a fan fic. I will except all suggestions and please point out grammar errors. Anyway hope ya enjoy and without any further waiting ………………………….

Battling and Contests the Two Leagues of Houen

Chapter One: Littleroot and Oldale Two Starting Points

“Go Mudkip!” “Go Torchic!” “Go Treecko!”

Shouted Prof. Birch as the little orange, blue, and green creatures were released from three red and white orbs. A girl with blue stared at them with stars in her emerald green eyes.

“Now,” said the Prof. “Which one of these three would you like to start with, Lisa?”

“Humm,” thought Lisa in deep thought, “May I get a closer look.”

The girl was twelve years old and was just about to begin her pokemon journey around Houen. She was dressed in a lime green skirt with a blue untucked button down shirt. Around her neck she wore a star necklace and she had on white shoes with blue socks. Her blue hair was pulled neatly into two balls on top of her head.

“Finally my journey is about to start,” Lisa thought to herself, “I just hope I don’t get all sweaty and dirty while traveling.”

Lisa walked over to the green one first and asked with a hint of disgust, “What is this Pokemon called?”

Birch then said, “Well this one is called treecko, the grass type.”

“Well,” Lisa sighed, “It looks kind of creepy for me walk with all the time so I think I will pass on him.”

Then she seemed to cheer up when she looked down a the blue mudfish pokemon and excitedly shouted, “Oooo! What’s this one called?”

“This little guy is know as mudkip and he sports the types of both water and ground,” explained Professor Birch.

Lisa slumped after hearing the word ground.
“He’s cute and all but if he’s going to be shooting mud everywhere and getting me dirty I’ll have to pass again.”

“I’m never going to be a trainer,” she began to think as she looked down at the final choice.

The little chick then rubbed up against her leg and shouted, “Torchick” in one of the cutest voices in the world.

“Awwww,” said the now in love Lisa, “It’s soooooooooo cute. What’s she called?”

“Oh she’s known as torchick, the fire chick type,” explained Prof Birch.

“I really like her. She’s really cute. I like sooooooo have to have her. My choice is torchick,” shouted Lisa without taking a breath while picking up the little chick and hugging her tightly.

“Splendid.” Shouted Professour Birch, “Now take your trainer I.D., pokedex, and pokeballs. The marks of a true trainer. Good bye and good luck.”

“Ohhh! Don’t worry with me and chicka here nothing can ever come our way a stop us,” Lisa said as she walked out the doors of the lab and out of the town of Littleroot.


Meanwhile… in Oldale Town another pokemon adventure was about to begin.

A young man at the age of twelve was sitting down watching “Professor Oaks talk for beginning trainers.”

He was dressed in a red shirt with blue jeans cuffed up at the ends. He also had on brown hiking boots with black socks. He hair was also brown and was shaggy in both the back in the front. He anxiously glanced at a yellow bag by the door with his brown eyes.

In the bag was almost everything from Oldale’s town mart. Also in it were his pokedex, pokeballs and his trainer I.D. that read the name Marcus in bright red letters. He was ready.

“Where could he be,” Marcus shouted.

Just then a knocking came from the door.

“Finally,” Marcus sighed with relief as he rushed to the door to let his father into their home.

“Do you have it dad,” said the boy excitedly.

“You betcha kiddo. Right from route 101 to your hands,” said Luther in a fatherly way as he handed his son his pokeball.

It had always been tradition in Marcus’ family for a father to catch his son his starting pokemon. Even Luther’s dad had given him his first Magby.

“Why not let out and see what your first pokemon is,” Luther asked.

“O.K.” said Marcus, “I’ve been waiting all my life to do this. Pokemon gooooo!”

A flash of light and out came a huge Beedrill that started to come towards the scared child.

“Ahhhhhhhhhh,” screamed Marcus as he ran and hid behind his Luther.

“The only one I’m afraid of you catch for me. You’ve got to be the worst dad in the world,” screamed Marcus.

“O.K. just calm down and how about coming out of your night mare to see what I really got for you,” said dad

Flashback

In Petalburg woods Marcus and Lucas were on a journey looking for wild shroomish.

“Marcus, I’m gonna look around in the bushes. Why don’t you climb that tree over there.”

“You got it pops,” said the excited eight years old.

As he began to climb the tree he happened to see a shroomish hopping around on the branches.

“You mine,” said Marcus

The little mushroom unluckily noticed the boy and sent out a little yellow wave towards him.

“Oh no, Stun Spore,” He screamed and quickly let go of the tree just the wave was about to hit him.

“That was close. Lucky I landed in the brush on needles,” relived Marcus.

Then a flash of light came from behind him. The boy turned around and saw a Beedrill staring him down about to attack.

“DAD,” he screamed, “HELP.”

Luckily his father heard him and rushed to the rescue.

“Go Magmar,” Luther shouted, “Flamethrother.”

“Magmarrrrrr,” shouted the lava body pokemon as a blast of fire flew from its mouth.

The attack hit the big bug and fainted it on the spot. Luther rushed over to his son to check on him.

“Are you alright,” said the worried father.

“Yeah. But I don’t think I like Beedrill’s that much anymore.

End Flashback

“Huh,” said Marcus after reliving that frightful day.

He was now looking at a small black and gray dog pokemon.

“Awooh,” said the poochyena.

“Cool! This little guy is awesome,” said Marcus as the little puppy leaped into his arms and began licking his face.

“Thanks dad. You’re the best dad ever,” Marcus said excitedly.

“Thanks,” said Luther, “Now are you all packed and ready?”

“Sure thing pops,” said Marcus, “With me and Hooch together we’ll be just fine.”

Marcus put on his pack, picked up Hooch and walked out the door and onward toward his next adventure as tears swelled in Luther’s eyes.

END

Now that the journey has started lets see how things unfold.
 

katiekitten

The Compromise
Well... Better than some new fics, although it does need some work.

First and foremost, description. I will never tire of pusuing this subject. At the beginning, describe what the Pokemon look like as they come out, one by one. Describe the people, what does Birch look like? Describe the place. Where are they? In a demoslished wreck with a glorious sunrise? Describe. Let me help a little...

Go Mudkip!” “Go Torchic!” “Go Treecko!”

Shouted Prof. Birch as the little orange, blue, and green creatures were released from three red and white orbs. A girl with blue stared at them with stars in her emerald green eyes.

Let me have a little go, show you what it could be...


"Go Mudkip! Go Treeko! Go Torchic!" A loud shout rent the silence of the New Bark Laboratory. A scruffy youngish man stood in the center of a small library situated off the main hall, wielding a set of pokeballs with the ease of long practise. He threw first one, then two other small, red-and-white balls into the air and they smashed to the floor, each releasing a beam of blinding red light. A tall girl dressed in blue with a pink knapsack clapped her hands eagerly, staring at the forms emerging form the rays with star filled emerald eyes. A green frog type Pokemon was the first to mateiralise, sitting on its hindquarters and flashing the girl a big smile. "Treeeko!" It yelled gleefully, giving Birch a hearty wink...

Oops, go a little carried away there... Anyway, thats what I mean. I do like the rest of it though, especially your description of the girl. I quite liked the character Marcus, and the tradition. Maybe you could arrange the flash back a little neater, maybe putting a sequence of '***' to separate them. Buts it is your choice. :)
 

lisalover

I'm a KA water bunny
thanks katiekitten
i know its a little less descriptive than other fics but it was my first try.
n the future chapters i'll add more description

neway chapter 2 should be up by sunday night/monday
 

lisalover

I'm a KA water bunny
Looks like chapter two was already typed. anywho without further waiting chapter two commin at ya

Chapter Two: First Battle, First Capture

Now we join Lisa on route 101, a path covered with trees and overgrown bushes and a pokemon waiting behind every corner, with her new pokemon torchick and her almost forgotten green knapsack on their way to Oldale Town.

“Darn it torchick,” said Lisa, “How are we ever going to get past this dirty old path and into a nice sanitary town if you keep on losing to every pokemon we see.

<Well maybe if you let me fight other than worrying about if I get dirty we would be out of here by now,> thought torchick in a sarcastic way.

Not hearing her feathered friend, Lisa, took out her bottle of water and rag and started to look for things on her companion to clean. Torchich had gotten used to this, as it was a common thing for Lisa to do, but she had finally had enough.

When Lisa got near the little orange chick, torchick jumped at the girl and made her drop the rag and water. The water spilled on the ground as torchick fired an ember at the rag sending it ablaze.

<Finally no more baths,> thought the fire pokemon.

“Awww! Now you can’t have your bath,” said Lisa with deep sympathy.

As this ordeal was going on a little red and white worm like creature had waddled over a started rubbing against the girl’s leg.

“Wurmple,” it said causing Lisa to look down at it.

“Oh look! A Wurmple, lets battle it,” exclaimed Lisa.

<Why bother,> thought torchick.

“O.K. torchick, hit it with a peck. No stop don’t touch it or you may get bug juice on you and I won’t be able to give you a bath afterwards,” said the cleaning crazed girl.

<Is there no end to this girl’s cleaning frenzy,> thought torchick skidding in the dirt to an abrupt halt answering her trainer’s order.

“Wurmple,” the worm shouted as a long string of silk shout out of its mouth and wrapped around the girls in a sticky mess.

“Gross! Bug juice,” screamed Lisa as the little worm waddled away from its beautiful masterpiece.

“O.K.,” said torchick finally to where Lisa could hear her, “We’ve been together for two days and I’m getting tired of you not caring about anything else rather then my hygiene. I have battling needs too!”

“Torchick, you can talk. That’s awesome,” exclaimed Lisa.

“I’ve always been able to. It’s just now I’m trying to get a point out to you so we can get out of this bush overgrown path,” explained the enraged bird, “Now if want me to keep talking to you then let me battle.”

“You’re right,” said Lisa stomping he foot on the ground, “I mean if keep on worrying about only our hygiene we’ll never get any further and I’ll never get more pokemon.”

“Praise Moltres she can be taught,” said a now relived torchchick, “Now let’s do some catching and battling.”

“Why not tackle two birds with one stone? The next pokemon we see we beat with a battle,” said Lisa now finally fully set to her traveling.

“Good plan girl,” said the orange chick, “Now all that’s left is finding one.”

Right after torchick had said that an owl like pokemon hopping on one leg cam up to the girls and said, “Hoot-Hoot.”

“Wow! That was easy. Now lets see what the pokedex has to say about him,” said Lisa as she took out the red CPU of knowledge.

She pressed a few buttons on the CPU until she found a picture of the Hoot-Hoot and read…Hoot-Hoot, the owl pokemon. Since they are not normally found in Houen we have but little information. But Hoot-Hoot are know to lull their enemies to sleep with an attack called Hypnosis.

“Wow! It’s rare we must catch it. But where did he go,” Lisa said wile looking around the small clearing.

“Look! He’s in that tree. Quick order an attack,” explained the fired up fire pokemon.

“O.K. Hit him with ember.” shouted Lisa.

The battle was on as the little red flares left torchick’s mouth and set the owl’s tail ablaze.

“Hoot-Hoot,” screamed the owl as he fell out of the tree and ran around the ground tying to put his tail out.

“Alright! Direct hit,” said Lisa with excitement, “Now use peck.”

As the small chick pokemon ran towards the owl, he spun around and countered with his peck for a two-bird collision.

“Ow! That hurt,” said the chick in agony.

“Hang in there and use another ember,” said Lisa

“Alright,” said torchick as red flares once again flew towards Hoot-Hoot.

In defense the little owl shout out a red beam of light towards the little chick.

“Watch out! Hypnosis,” said the worried girl

As torchick made a narrow escape Lisa shouted, “Good job, now hit him with one more ember.”

Once again flares shot out of torchick’s mouth and directly hit the owl.

“Good! Now pokeball go,” shouted Lisa as she twirled around like a ballerina and threw the ball towards Hoot-Hoot.

The ball hit and the owl was engulfed in a red light and was sucked into the ball. All went still and quiet as the ball fell to the ground. It seemed like forever until the pokeball made the ever so famous “ding” sound and Lisa ran towards the ball.

“Alright! Hoot-Hoot is mine,” Lisa said as scooped up the ball and torchick.

“Victory,” said torchick as the two girls and their new Hoot-Hoot, Clarence, hopped down the bush and tree overgrown path towards Oldale.


END

chapter three should be up monday night/ tuesday
 

lisalover

I'm a KA water bunny
is anybody out there. please review, i feel hated
Live from your computer it’s

Chapter Three: A Rivalry Begins

What a nice day on the route to Petalburg. The sun in shining, the small ponds stand still, and the scent of fresh dew rises from the grass. Oh! And of course there is the battling.

“All right Hooch,” the brown haired/eyed boy said to his black and gray puppy, “It’s time to catch our first new teammate. Hit ‘em with tackle.”

“I’m on it,” the poochyena called back in his sweet country accent while running towards a little blue creature with orange and blue radars sticking out of his head.

The mudkip narrowly escaped only because the bite pokemon misaimed and ran into a nearby tree.

“Yow,” exclaimed Hooch.

“You O.K.,” asked Marcus.

“I’ll be fine. Just let me finish counting the twirling psyducks.

“Get up you dumb dog and try tackle again,” said the annoyed boy, “This time try aiming at him not the tree.”

“Certainly my wise human friend,” replied the puppy sarcastically as he ran towards the mudfish and made contact.

“Mudkipppppppppppppppp,” shouted the little mud dude.

“Good! It’s nice to know that it is possible for you to aim,” laughed Marcus to his companion.

“Shut up and order another attack you dumba** human,” barked the enraged pup to Marcus after that last remark.

While the two “friends” were arguing about the puppy’s aim, a cold blast of water shot out from behind them. The mudkip then just started to laugh at his accomplishment as the two boys turned around and dropped their argument to start yelling at it things that cannot be said for the sake of children’s fragile little minds.

“**** you. I already had a bath today and I don’t like getting wet.” screamed the little doggie, “Now your gonna get what’s coming to ya you little blue b*astard.”

“Yeah this is my only change of clothes,” growled Marcus angrily, “Bite that ******.”

Hooch then reared up his hind legs and leaped right at the laughing mudfish’s rear. The little blue dude suddenly stopped laughing as two very sharp fangs dug deep into his butt.

This caused the little mudfish to run around the field and the jump into the cold water with Hooch still on his blue little bottom.

Hooch, having had dug his fangs so deep in to mudkip butt, couldn’t release himself and was beginning again to remember how much he hated water.

He angrily glared back at Marcus who was rolling on the ground crying with laughter at this whole scene.

The puppy finally managed to get out, “Hufry fup an frow va ang vall!”

About to die with laughter Marcus shouted out, “Aww! Don’t you want a little more alone time with your friend and the water.”

“Fut fup,” said Hooch with a mouthful of butt as Marcus threw a pokeball at the mudkip and caught it in a red flash of light.

“Alright. Mudkip is mine,” said Marcus, “I’m going to call you Waterbomb.

“Congratulations! Now how about a little nap,” called the little enraged puppy as it was swimming up out of the pond, “And why waterbomb?”

“Sure and because he swam pretty fast in the water you old butty of mine,” chuckled Marcus, “Didn’t you see it.

“No actually. I was a bit preoccupied trying to not drown,” Hooch said as he was returned to his ball.

Marcus, now all laughed out and beginning to feel tired, walked up the path a ways, yawned, and fell asleep under a shady oak for a nap.


…A few hours later he was awakened to the somewhat familiar voice of
a boy saying, “All right! We caught it.”

Wanting to know who’s voice that was he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, grabbed his backpack and started to walk in the direction of the voice.

After a few moments he arrived in a grassy field were in the center stood a boy in black sweats, black and red shoes, and a red hoddie the red “#1” in big black letters.

Marcus began to walk towards the boy when the boy turned around and started walking towards Marcus. Marcus’ thought of curiosity towards the boy then turned into annoyance as he began to recognize who the boy was.

“Hiya Marcus,” said the boy in a cocky manner. Then a slight smirk formed on his face as he said, “Didn’t know that they let nerds become pokemon trainers.”

“Hey Coal,” said Marcus glumly. He then cheered up as he said, “Didn’t know that they let freeloading pricks have pokemon.”

Flashback

Coal Silph was a rich snob of the worst kind. Not only was he not really rich but also he was also a liar, cheater, and a freeloader. Every since the two had know each other, Marcus and Coal had been natural born enemies. Not only were their morals different but also one did no work in school while the other worked hard day and night to qualify to be trainer.

Wally Silph, Coal’s uncle, godfather, and owner of Silph Co. in Kanto, was never blessed with children so he treated his godson like his own and gave him every thing that he wanted.

When it came time to choose the best five children of Oldale pokeschool to go on their pokemon journey come spring, everybody was surprised to hear that Coal was going to be one of them.

Later it became known throughout the town that Wally had paid the school to let Coal be one of those five names even though the school denied it.

Marcus on the other hand had earned his right to be on of the five children with hard work and studying.

End Flashback


The two boys were now locked in a staring contest until Coal broke the silence.

“O.K. smarta**. Let’s battle and see who deserves the right to called the true pokemon trainer of Oldale.

“Fine by me,” agreed Marcus, “But the winner gets a days head start to Petalburg.”

“Alright let’s battle,” smirked Coal.

“Pokemon goooooooooo,” said the boys in unison as two pokeballs flew into the air and two white flashes of light began to materialize on the grassy field in front of them.

To be continued……….
 

Yami Ryu

Well-Known Member
Not only is this fic poor in quality, depth, description and character personalities/depth for humans and pokemon, I'm betting you wrote this up in the reply box --;

Outside of that I find nothing going for this bland fic, for as I said, your characters are flat and two dimensional, you don't describe anything that's happening, or how the characters are feeling, or giving a hint as to why they continue to do what they do. And I didn't see a reason for you to have 'Marcus' have a talking puppy. Unless you very poorly described why a puppy/pokemon can speak or why Marcus can understand him.

I suggest you go read the Advice for Aspiring Authors sticky, and put more than a half arsed attempt into the next chapter, or you could find a mod closing this.
 

lisalover

I'm a KA water bunny
ok renegade,
well thanks for the reply. I wrote these three chapters all in the same night in word. its not the best fic but its a first try. ill put more description, quality(ect) into chapter four. when it comes up review it and tell me if its any better. it should be up late tonight or early tomorrow.
 
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lisalover

I'm a KA water bunny
This chapter has much more description than the others. It focues mainly on the battle. enjoy


Chapter Four: The King of Oldale

“LET’S BATTLE!”

The shouts of two boys could be heard from miles around.

The first boy, Marcus Rougent, was a boy of about twelve years. The pouches forming under his eyes and his scruffy hair suggested that he had not had a good nights sleep in days, while his red shirt and jeans were rapidly turning brown and black because of all the dirt and sweat one tends to get be covered in when traveling for days in the wild.

For two days now Marcus and his starter pokemon Hooch, a poochyena, had been traveling from his hometown of Oldale to the nearest city, Petalburg.

Hooch was now sleeping peacefully in his pokeball in his trainer’s backpack, having been tired out by assisting Marcus in the capture of his second pokemon, a mudkip named Waterbomb for its speed through water.

All pokemon trainers have the ability to hear and understand their pokemon’s speech depending on the trust they share with their pokemon. While some take years, others only take a few days to understand pokemon speech. Marcus on the other hand could understand Hooch since day one and Waterbomb since hour one.

Now he was standing on one side of a grassy battlefield filled with puddles. The field was surrounded by trees in every side except for the ones that had been cleared to make a path to Petalburg.

In front of Marcus a small creature was materializing from a white light released form a pokeball. It was takeing the shape of a small blue creature that stood on all fours. He had a light blue tail and a light blue radar was sticking out from the top of his head. On either side of his face there was an orange gill that stuck out from its cheeks. It said, “Mudkip,” as soon as it had finished materializing to signify its freedom.

On the opposite side of the battlefield stood Coal Silph, the future air to Silph Co., and Marcus’ rival. The boy was dressed in a black sweats and a red hoddie that red “# 1” in big black letters. His hair was slicked back with what appeared to be a whole bottle of hair gel. To match his raven black hair were to gaping black holes for eyes in the middle of his pale, unblemished face.

Coal also had a small white shape materializing from a pokeball in front of him. The white shape was turning into an acorn like creature with what looked like a gray beret on top of his head. It was Coal’s newly caught Seedot spinning around on the grass eager for a battle.

Coal made a smirk that suggested that the battle was going to be in his favor seeing as his pokemon had a clear advantage over mudkip.

The two boys each had two things driving their determination to battle and win. First they both wanted to win because as they decided before the battle that the winner would get a days head start to Petalburg City.

The other thing driving Coal was that he wanted to prove to himself that he could do things without his uncle having to pay others to let him get his way. He wanted to prove that he could win battles and have journeys without using money. That was his main motivation.

Driving Marcus was the motivation that he had to be the best. Both his father and grandfather had had their own journeys around Houen and even as far away as a land called Orre. He had to prove to them and himself that he can live up to their standards and be the best.

“This is step one of my path,” was the thought going through both of their minds.

“Your at a disadvantage in this one,” Marcus whispered to Waterbomb, “You’re a good swimmer, try to stay near the puddles.”

“Yes sir Mr. Boss man,” said the mudkip anxiously awaiting the battle.

Waterbomb had not been in many battles let alone trainer ones. He was extremely nervous as the anticipation was beginning to build up in him.

His facial expressions were constantly shifting from determination, to worry, to happiness, to sadness. Questions like “What if I can’t hit the Seedot with an attack,” and “What if lose the battle,” were shifting to thoughts like “I’ve got to stay focused on the battle,” “I’ve got to remain calm,” and “I can’t let Marcus down.” He was becoming confused in his thoughts.

All that Seedot did was spin like a top in place.

There was a moment of thought, silence, and spinning in the sunny clearing until Coal broke it by saying, “Is this a battle or what? Go Seedot rapid spin.”

Suddenly Marcus broke out of his trance and saw the Seedot getting closer to Waterbomb and he shouted “Waterbomb, dodge and hit ‘em with tackle.”

“What if I forget how to swim,” was the last thought that raced through the mudkip’s mind as he heard Marcus’ shout and made and jump to make a narrow escape.

When Waterbomb landed he buckled under the intense pain in his left hind leg. The rapid spin had hit there. Apparently he did not make a clean get away. But nonetheless he got up and made a leap right at the Seedot’s stomach.

The Seedot felt a hard impact right at his gut. Waterbomb’s tackle had knocked the wind out of him as he stopped spinning to regain his breath.

“Good! A direct hit! Quick, while he’s weak hit him again with tackle.”

The mudfish reared up for another tackle and started to make a dash towards the Seedot who was still trying to regain breath.

Coal seemed to notice the surprise attack coming towards his pokemon and shouted, “Don’t let that little wimp hit you twice. Get up and use bullet seed.”

The Seedot got back up, nodded at Coal, and then did a little spin to the direction of the mudkip and shout a barrage of seeds at him to take him down and stop the tackle attack.

Waterbomb had no time to dodge the attack, as the barrage of seeds was too quick. He ran into the barrage head on and felt himself being pelted by every last seed. He dropped to the ground in a bloody mess of broken bones and bruises. His face showed nothing but pain as the poor little thing tried time and time again to get up. He was down but not yet out.

“Good! Now finish it of with another rapid spin,” yelled Coal. His thoughts of victory and strife for winning took over his mind as he disregarded the fact that the mudkip was almost out cold.

Seedot had no choice but to obey and started spinning quickly towards Waterbomb to finish him off.

There were only two thoughts fighting in the mudkip’s mind now. They were “Don’t give up,” and, “It’s all over. Just give up. There’s nothing you can do.”

Marcus stared in fear at the Seedot nearing his friend. His face was becoming red from the heat and sweat. He was shaking in fear and thinking that this may be the end of the battle and of his friend. He closed his eyes and began to think. “If only there was a way to slow down the attack.” “If only he had an attack to stop Seedot.” Tears were now dropping from his face at the thought of not being able to stop the assault. The few moments passed like long years. He could hear the spinning coming nearer and nearer. Then out of the corner of his mind he remembered.

“WATERBOMB, USE MUDSHOT,” he yelled at the top of his lungs.

The mudkip felt his insides filling up with mud. He was suffocating. He had to let oxygen in. He opened his mouth to take a final breath and sticky mud gushed form out of his mouth and bombarded the Seedot that was literally an inch away. This pushed the little acorn back with so much force that he went flying into the air.

The Seedot landed at Coal’s feet with a thud and he opened his eyes to reveal two black x’s.

Coal fell to the ground next to his fainted pokemon in defeat. He returned Seedot in shock that he had lost.

The shock quickly turned into rage as he bellowed, “HOW DOES A LITTLE ****ER LIKE YOU BE ME, COAL SILPH FUTURE AIR TO SILPH CO."

Marcus slowly walked over to Waterbomb and picked him up delicately from the ground.
He looked down at the little mudkip and smiled. Waterbomb smiled back and weakly muttered, “We did it,” before passing out in his friend’s arms.

Marcus looked up from the sleeping mudkip in his arms and looked at Coal and said, "With talent, trust and love in my pokemon."


END


Well i hope that this chapter was better than the rest in description and content. Next chapter will feature Lisa.
 

Final Flash

I've still got it.
It's Okay for a beginner, but It needs a Lot of work.
like what the first reviewer said.
 

lisalover

I'm a KA water bunny
i'm takeing your advice and i'm going to take my time with writing the next chapter. It will have more description, action, and will porbally be longer.

It should be up some time this weekend.

p.s.
if any one has any suggestion sand me a pm.
 

lisalover

I'm a KA water bunny
Well it was a long delay but I think that this chapter is worth the wait.

Oh and any thing in <> is a pokemon speaking.

**********************************************************
Chapter Five: Team Sky’s First Attack
**********************************************************

In the proximity of Pacificlog Town there lies three islands where each one holds secrets and dangers greater than the last

The first is the Mirage Island. Why is it called this? Well it is said that it is only a mirage and it is only of misfortune that you should find yourself on it. For the only people to land on the island where but only sea merchants that found themselves mourned. They have said that it seemed to come out of fog and swallow one up whole and never spit you out for days at a time.

The second is the island where the Sky Pillar resides. It has earned itself the nickname “The Hell of the Sea” as it has caused the most deaths of people and pokemon alike known to date. For surrounding it is a labyrinth of jagged rocks and ferocious storm surges that push and pull any ship into currents and the rocks for a most certain doom. And even if you manage to emerge form the labyrinth there still remains the challenge of scaling all one hundred floors of the oldest remaining structure of all of Hoenn. Where most of the floor has been cracked and broken to where even if a feather were to land on it, it would crumble and whoever stands on the floor would fall to a certain death. And if that’s not enough, behind every corner there lies the most vicious and cruel of all beasts that will surly kill anything that wonders in their path.

But as intimidating and mysterious as those islands are, the real intimidation and mystery lie with the third. Nothing lies on it but a single violent green tower that reaches up into the heavens. Thunder roars and rain falls from the thick layer of clouds that surround the tower’s roof. Passer bye can only wonder what goes on in the tower as no one who has entered it has come out. The only thing to ever leave the island was a reptilian green jet in the form of a dragon.

But, on the top floor, high above the clouds are two doors one blue and the other red. Behind the red door lies a layer that looks like the inside of a volcano with the heat to match. Currently nobody occupies the room but across the hall, behind the blue door, one person stands. The room has been modeled to look like that of underwater. It has a dark blue shine and fish tanks with angry and hungry carvanha surrounding the room. In the center there sits a laptop on a desk. Behind the desk is the only thing that pierces through the utter deep-sea darkness of the room. It is a woman with fiery red hair and a white powdered face and body. The only things one her face are her blood red lipstick and her dark blue eyes. She wears a scaly green blazer over an aqua blue shirt and black satin dress.

On the computer there lie two files. The first is a picture of a large white building with a red roof. It has a beautiful garden and neatly grown trees surrounding it and a giant “P” lies in the center of the roof. The building stands in the back of a town that is dotted with simple houses, a school, a mall, parks, a hospital, anything one would expect to see in a quiet little town. In the front of the town lies a big sign with the words “Welcome to Oldale” in big black letters.

The other file is and article with a photo attachment. The article read:

Dr. Vincent Spencer, a local to Oldale and expert on ancient times of Hoenn, is preparing to leave on an expedition to the Sky Pillar, the oldest standing structure of our country. There he plans to scale all hundred floors to see what he can find out about the sky dragon of yore, Rayquaza. He states, “We all know the story about how the ancient feuding pokemon, Kyogre and Groudon, who fought across our land and destroyed everything in their path. Well the story also mentions a large green monster descending from the sky that quelled their fighting. In my expedition, I plan to find out all I can about this monster.” His base of preparation is the Oldale Pokemon Center where the gracious Nurse Joy has offered him full use of the facilities free of charge.

The photo shows a picture of the doctor, a young, tall, and handsome man. He has long brown hair tied neatly into a ponytail. His baby-blue eyes are like crystal clear lakes on his clean-shaven face. He wears a blue shirt under a white lab coat tucked neatly into long kaki pants.

The woman, after taking a long lustful look at the picture, said clearly into a microphone on her head, “O.K. Here’s the plan.”

The recipient of the message was a tall man with pitch-black hair. His skin was the brownish color one tends to get after being exposed to intense heat and was covered in burn scars. He wore green shades over his beady black eyes and a black blazer over his red shirt that was tucked into a pair of black blue jeans. He nodded slightly to the message and walked into Oldale’s Pokemon Center.


**********************************************************


<Get off of my foot ya b****>

“Well I wouldn’t be on it if you hadn’t suggested we take this GD shortcut.”

<Oh yeah! This is my fault Miss I forget the map back at the lab>

<Um pardon me Madams but I am getting ever so tied of your constant bickering>

“Oh shut up you little b******. You’re no less to blame than us.”

<What do you mean>

“Well if we hadn’t had been following your leader ship, then Torchic never would have suggested we go this way.”

<Oh is that so. Then take this>

“Ouch that was my shoulder you stuck your talon into.”

<I know. Ouch! That was my beak>

“Dahm straight.”

<Shut up you two and lets get out of here. Gaaaaa>

<What happened>

<I tripped into a tree>

“That’s my leg”

<Ha Ha! I mean sorry>

<Hey look I see a light>

“Quick let’s get out of here.”

<Agreed>

And in a mad dash towards the light the girl, Lisa Fisher, and her two pokemon, Torchic and a Hoot-hoot named Clarence emerged from a thicket of trees into the town of Oldale, only a few feet from the main entrance.

“You stupid idiots! We went through all of that to find out we were only three feet form the main path,” Lisa shouted as she picked up her feathered friends and clocked their heads together.

<Ouch! Watch the abuse wills ya> Clarence complained as he rubbed his head with his wing.

<Don’t worry about it buddy. At least our feather aren’t covered in mud and twigs like Lisa is> said Torchic as she ran for her life form her trainer.

“Why you little. Get back and take what’s coming to ya,” the enraged Lisa said as she gave chase to her lil’ chick.

When the dust from where the starting point of the chase had cleared, Clarence thought <Women! Can’t live with ‘em. Can’t live without ‘em> and hopped after his crazed friends.

In and out of the streets of Oldale and around the whole city, over every hill and though every park, past every building and around every corner the chase gave way until Torchic ran head first into another leg.

The little chick fell over and looked up too see a tall man with graying brown hair. He had brown eyes and wore a skintight black t-shirt to show of a ripped body. He had on blue jeans and a kind fatherly face. He was getting on in age but he was still good looking. Torchic did not run in fear as he picked up the little bird and stroked her gently on the head and back. As he was doing this he said, “Now where did you come from?”

He looked around and saw a girl dressed in a green skirt and blue shirt that were covered in mud. She had blue hair that had twigs sticking out of it and a little owl pokemon was hopping right behind her. They were running down the dirt path that led up the green sunny hill to where the man was standing looking at his town.

As he watched Lisa and Clarence get closer he looked down at Torchic and said, “Is that your trainer?”

<Unfortunately yes>she thought as she nodded her head.

When Lisa was only a few feet form the man she said, “Oh thanks for finding my Torchic Mr. …”

“Luther. My name’s Luther. And actually she found me I should say,” he said in a kind fatherly voice, “And you?”

“I’m Lisa. I’ve just started my pokemon journey a few days ago and I’m still trying to get my Torchic under control. Feisty thing she is,” explained Lisa, “And this is my Hoot-hoot, Clarence.”

Clarence then hopped over to Luther and began rubbing against his leg.

“Pokemon love you don’t they,” Lisa asked as she watched this going on.

“Well it’s just a gift I guess. I just seems that all pokemon feel calm and safe around me. That’s why I was born a natural trainer and won at the Hoenn League. I also was quite good at Contests as well because of my gift,” Luther told her.

“Some people get all the luck. My pokemon seem to get stronger than me and take cracks at me every day,” Lisa slumped.

“Don’t worry lass. Just keep working at it and try to get stronger bonds with them and they will grow to love you,” Luther said as he placed Torchic into Lisa arms.

“Thanks for the encouragement. Oh and by the way, I went all over this town chasing after this little guy and didn’t see any pokemon center. I’m in desperate need of a rest and a shower and these two need rest as well. Do you know where it is,” Lisa said after taking in Luther’s words and cheering up a little.

“Why yes. It’s right down the other side of this hill. You can’t miss it,” Luther said, “Now if you excuse me I must be going.”

The three watched as Luther headed down the hill towards town and Lisa said, “What a nice man.”

<Yeah! He must want to get in your pants> Torchic said.


**********************************************************


Lisa walked through the glass sliding doors into one of the most glorious sites in her eyes, a Pokemon Center Lobby. There were trainers of all sorts there: locals, travelers, and even some elite who liked like they were getting ready for the Hoenn League. They were all friendly and they all had smiles on their faces. They talked about their pokemon and of pokemon battles to come and of battles that had come. Lisa liked hearing about the stories and how much detail each trainer put into them. She noticed Chansey’s bringing treys of pokeballs back to their trainers. She could smell nice, hot, delicious food coming form the kitchen. But the thing that she liked the most was the stories that she had heard form the pokemon coordinators. She loved how intense the battles were described and how the spotlight was on you. She loved to hear how beautiful and graceful the pokemon could be. But most of all she loved seeing some of the trainers perform.

A group of trainers took her out back to a field so she could see some of their pokemon’s moves. A girl a few years older than her named Kelsey who had brown pigtails went first.

“Go Snorunt. Icy Wind.”

In a flash of light a little cone shaped pokemon came out and sent a chilling blue breeze across the grass. Then he started to skate across the ice. Half way across he jumped into the air and nailed a perfect triple twirl and landed in a bow.

“How’s that,” Kelsey asked.

Lisa speechless only applauded.

“You think that’s good. Then watch this,” said a boy in a red jumpsuit, “Go Cumbusken. Combo skyuppercut and Firespin.”

In a dazzling performance the fowl pokemon leaped out of its ball and sent a red twister into the sky. Then he followed up with another leap and his left fist began to glow. He leaped right at the fire tornado and hit it with his fist. The fire broke up and fell over the ice in a reign of fire. The fire sparkled on the ice then melted. Hoots and hollers were heard form the people watching the performance. Lisa almost fainted. She looked down a torchic’s ball and said to herself that she would pull off that move when her torchic evolved. Another glance at the pokeball and she remembered why she had come to the pokemon center in the first place. She was still covered in filth and was in desperate need of a bath.

As she reentered the pokemon center she noticed that a lot of people were wearing green and said, “What is it St. Patrick’s Day,” then laughed at her own joke.

<Lame>snorted Clarence and Torchic to each other.

“I heard that,” Lisa said back.

Lisa walked up to Nurse Joy and was greeted with a smile form the pink haired beauty.

“Hello! Welcome to the Pokemon Center. How may I be of assistance to you?”

“Hi! I would like a room for the night and could you heal my pokemon please,” Lisa asked.

“Certainly! Here’s your room key and I’ll just give these to my Chaney,” Joy said as she took Lisa’s pokeballs and gave them to the big pink egg like pokemon. Then she handed Lisa her room key.

“Thanks,” said Lisa with thoughts of a warm shower as she walked with increasing speed towards her room.

She was so preoccupied with the thought of a shower only moments away that she didn’t notice a man standing right in front of her talking with two of the people in green. So she ran right into him.

“Whoa there missie. Where’s the fire,” said the man she ran into.

“Oh sorry I …,” she was dumbfounded by the beauty of the man.

AHHHHHHHHHH! YOUR DR. SPENCER VOTED TOP FIVE HOTTEST GUYS BY TEEN SEEN MAGIZINE. AND YOU TALKED TO ME. OH NO I A MESS DON’T LOOK AT ME DON’T LOOK AT ME,” Lisa shouted as her expression changed form that of awe to that of concern.

“Wow! Funny and Cute. Tell you what why don’t you go take a shower and let me finish my chat with these two and we can do supper,” Dr. Spencer said laughing over the fuss Lisa was making.

OMFG. THANKS BUT I’M NOT WORTHY OF YOU,” Lisa shouted as she ran down to her room.


**********************************************************


When the arrived in the kitchen she was so clean that the lights reflected form her. And she was a nervous wreck. She was also about to p*** herself she was so excited. She looked around the room for the doctor but couldn’t find him. But she did spot the two people he had been talking with. One was a girl and one was a guy. They were both wearing matching green jumpsuits and had tanned faces and black hair. Both pairs of eyes were red. They looked almost the same. In fact the only difference between them was where their clothes bulged. They were waving Lisa over to the table they were sitting at. She felt reluctant but in the end she walked over to join them.

“Hi,” they said in unison as she sat down.

“Hello,” she replied, “Where’s Dr. Spenser?”

“What kind if introduction is that,” said the female twin, “Let’s try again. Hello! I’m Taylor.”

“And I’m Toby,” said her bother.

“Lisa,” said Lisa, “Where’s Dr. Spenser.”

She was beginning to get annoyed with the twins.

“Well he waited with us for you’re here but when you didn’t show up he said he was behind on his work and went back to his room,” Toby explained.

“Yes! And he told us to wait here for you to tell you that he’s sorry for missing you and not to disturb him in his room,” Taylor added.

“Oh dang I was really looking forward to seeing him,” Lisa said in a whiney voice, “I’ll never get this chance again.”

“We’re sorry but we’ve got to be going,” Taylor said faking sympathy.

“Yeah! We’ve got a meeting with the doc and the boss later tonight,” said Toby.

“Good b… wait she just said the doctor wasn’t seeing anyone and then you just said you’re going to see him tonight at a meeting,” Lisa said as she stopped them from leaving, “Which is it?”

“Uhhhhhhhh! You see he means that we’ve got to see the foot doctor with our boss. He’s having ingrown toenail surgery and the boss needs us there to be with him,” Taylor explained with a plastic smile on her face.

“Right! Well bye Toby and Taylor,” Lisa said as the twins were leaving.

**********************************************************

As she was walking out the door of the kitchen and back to her room, Lisa heard voices coming from behind a door.

“You idiot. You almost blew our cover with that kid.”

“I know sis. Will sorry cut it this time?”

“It’s going to have to for now. Cum on. We’ve got to go get Spenser for the meeting.”


**********************************************************


Lisa went back to the Lobby to check on her pokemon and to see if anyone could tell her anything about Coordinating before she went to her room for the night.

The found it empty except for a few Chansey cleaning it as now everyone had either left, was at supper, or had gone to sleep. So she walked over to Nurse Joy.

“Hello Lisa! You’re pokemon a fully healed and rearing to go. I hope to see you again.”

“Thanks. By the way have you noticed anything odd about those people in green,” Lisa asked.

“No I haven’t. But a lot of them did just leave a few minutes ago. Why,” replied Joy.

“Oh no reason. Good night,” Lisa said as she thought, “Why did they leave.”

While walking out of the lobby and clipping back her pokeballs she heard, “Hi Lisa! It’s me Luther.”

<Remember to keep your pants on>chirped Torchic

“You know. It’s been really quiet without you,” Lisa said.

<We know! But we also know you’ve missed us>Clarence said back.

“Yes! For some reason I did. It’s odd,” replied Lisa.

Luther walked up to Lisa and they did the hug thing when she asked, “What are you doing here.”

“Well since my son left on his journey a few days ago and I wouldn’t be leaving anybody at home I was asked to be protection to Dr. Spenser at night,” Luther replied.

“Oh good luck with that. Good night.” Lisa said as she left the lobby.

“Hey Joy,” Luther said, “I’ve got the lobby covered why don’t you close up for the night.”

“Thank you Luther,” replied Joy, “You’ve always been so good to me. All right girls its closing time.”

As she said that the Chansey turned on some disco music and with Nurse Joy the girls started cleaning to the disco beat. Luther just watched in amazement as the pink eggs and the nurse danced and finished their cleaning. Finally on the chorus of “Boogie Shoes” they locked up did curtseys and exited to the back room and the music stopped leaving Luther dumfounded at the sight he just saw.


**********************************************************


“No! No! No! There my boogie shoes not yours Mr. Lincoln.”

<Humans have the weirdest dreams> thought Clarence.

<AHHHHHHH! George Washington singing Brittany Spears. It burns>

<I stand corrected>

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

“What was that,” Lisa said getting up from the soft white silky sheets of the Pokemon Center beds.

<I don’t know>said Torchic getting up from Lisa’s bed as well.

<Let’s go see> said Clarence

Lisa quickly got dressed, returned her pokemon, and ran out the room, down the hall, and into the lobby.

When she arrived she saw tables and chairs overturned and chairs broken. The plants were all over as was the dirt. Even the books had been scattered and thrown everywhere. She also saw Luther huddled over Nurse Joy trying to help her up.

She ran over and quickly asked, “What happened.”

Luther turned to Lisa and said, “She’s been hit by someone and the wind’s been knocked out of her.”

“JOY GET UP. COME ON GIRL UP AND AT ‘EM,” Lisa screamed.

That seemed to have worked as Nurse Joy woke up and said, “A man and a woman dressed in green suits with black S’s on the front came through and took the Doctor with them. Then they destroyed the lobby and knocked me down.”

“We’ve got to go save the doctor,” Lisa said in a worried manner.

“You’re right. Lets go,” Luther said.

The Three of them then ran out the door and into the cool early morning. On the ground they noticed tracks leading off into the forest behind the Pokemon Center. The three of them ran through the forest and came to a halt when they came to a clearing. In it were about five women and six men. Four of the women wore black miniskirts and green poncho tops and three of the men wore black pants with green t-shirts. The other three people were wearing almost the as the grunts except they all had green and black hoods over the heads. Two of them were holding a man in place in the center of the circle and the other man, who was standing in front of the captive, seemed to be talking. Luther, Lisa, and Joy realized him to be the leader as he was wearing green shades to stand out and his uniform showed a red “S” instead of a black one like the rest of the team had. They also noticed that behind the circle of people there was a large jet. It was a reptilian green color and looked like some sort of dragon. Its wings had edges that were sharp at the ends and on each wing was painted a giant black “S” that looked like the “S” on the team’s uniforms. There were also strange black circle like markings over the body of the jet.

“Can you hear what they’re saying,” Lisa asked.

“No. Lets get closer,” Luther answered.

“Yes. But let’s crawl up so they don’t see us,” Joy suggested.

Luther, Lisa, and Joy got down into the wet grass and began to crawl over to the clearing. It was a messy task but the finally made it to the clearing. Luther motioned to some bushes and the two women agreed. Once behind the bushes the three of them leaned their heads towards the conversation to listen in.


**********************************************************

“Now Doctor either come with us peacefully or we’ll just have to do this the hard way,” the Leader said.

“Yeah! The hard way,” the admens responded. Lisa recognized their voices to be that of Toby and Taylor.


**********************************************************


The silence between the three was broken when Joy whispered, “Those are the two who took the doctor and destroyed the lobby.”

“Their names are Toby and Taylor. I met then earlier this night. I knew there was something strange about them,” Lisa whispered back.

“Shut up and listen,” Luther whispered to the girls, as they weren’t supposed to be talking.

“Sorry,” they replied.

“Shut up.”


**********************************************************


“Why should I? What did I ever do to you,” Dr. Spenser argued as he tried to wiggle his way out of the strong grip the twins had on him.

The Leader said calmly back, “You see it’s not what you have done, it’s what you will do for us. A few years ago after the downfall of Magma and Aqua, the teammates were confused and afraid. But some of us did not want to give up the old way of life so we formed a new team, Team Sky. We, Team Sky, remembered the green beast of the sky that overpowered both Groudon and Kyogre and we have made that pokemon our motivation and target of capture. We know you are the expert on that pokemon and we need you to help us get it. So now I ask you again. You can come with us peacefully or we can go with the hard way.”


”I’ll never help you with your motives,” the enraged doctor yelled back to the Leader.

“Is that so. Toby, Taylor do your stuff,” the Leader said with an evil grin, “I love the hard way.”

“We’re on it,” the twins replied with the same evil grins as they let go of the doctor and took out their pokeballs and threw them at Dr. Spenser.

Taylor’s came first and took the form of a big green mantis pokemon that had a menacing look and two sharp sickles for hands that looked like they could slice though a body in a heartbeat.

Toby’s took the form of a short white shell covered pokemon with a black face that had piercing red eyes in the middle of it. It stood on four stubby black legs and the rest of its body was covered in a thick white shell.

“Shellgon, Scyther, attack,” shouted the twins with evil grins.

Scyther was going to slash right though Dr. Spenser’s skin with his out stretched sickles for hands and one of Shellgon’s feet was of the ground and began to glow red as he prepared for a dragon claw. The doctor only watched in fear and could do nothing to save himself as his pokemon were back at the pokemon center.

Luther and Joy were also watching in fear as the sight of their friend’s torture was getting to them. They were too stunned to do anything.

Lisa had had enough. She was tired of sitting and watching. She took her two pokeballs from her belt and made a dash for Team Sky. She threw them into the air and shouted, “TORCHIC, CLARENCE, PROTECT DR. SPENSER.”

In a blaze of light the two pokemon jumped fin front of the doctor. Torchic’s eyes began to glow red and she shot orange flares at Scyther. The attack hit with a great amount of force that caused it to fly back to Taylor and fall to the ground, burning in pain.

Clarence hopped in front of Shellgon and sent a red flash of light from his eyes right at it. The dragon stopped its assault and fell to the ground, asleep from the hypnosis.

Seeing this ordeal take place it fount of them, Team Sky and Dr. Spenser turned around and saw Lisa running towards them.

“Lisa,” shouted the doctor, joyful at the site of his rescuer.

“Lisa,” shouted the twins angry at their loss.

“Get that girl,” the Leader shouted to his team.

The grunts took their pokeballs and threw them towards Lisa. The pokemon varied form Vibravas, to Poochyena’s, to Zubats, to Numels.

The group of pokemon took a leap toward Lisa for a group tackle to knock the young girl back and out cold.

Torchic and Clarence jumped to save their trainer but Toby and Taylor grabbed them and restrained them in their arms.

The Leader smiled and took hold of the doctor, as Spenser watched in fear at the site of Lisa about to be pummeled.

The grunt’s pokemon were about to strike and Lisa covered her face in fear. But in another blaze of light a tall red and yellow magma pokemon with black braces on its legs, arms, and neck and a fat pink egg-like pokemon appeared in front of the girl to protect her.

Chansey, Hyper Beam,” screamed Joy.

Magmar, Fire Blast,” shouted Luther.

A bright yellow light stroke against half of the pokemon while a star shape of fire hit the other half. All of the pokemon fell to the ground and Chansey and Magmar glared at the grunts from behind the pile of fainted pokemon.

“Are you alright,” Joy asked as she helped the girl up and gave her a comforting hug.

“Yes! I’m fine but we’ve still got to save Dr. Spenser,” Lisa replied as she released herself form the embarrassing hug.

“Right! Magmar, use an Overheat on Team Sky,” Luther said as he ran up beside the women.

<MAGMAR> the lava body pokemon shouted as he produced a red glow that flew over the clearing in a fiery blaze. It burned the grass and bushes to ash and dirt. It knocked back all of the grunts. It caused the twins to drop Torchic and Clarence and it caused the Leader to drop the doctor.

When the fire settled, Torchic and Clarence ran up to Lisa and gave her rubs and playful nips of love.

Dr. Spenser also got up and ran over his saviors.

“Thanks. I thought I was a goner,” he panted as he approached them.

“No problem. Now let’s take care of Team Sky,” Luther told his companions.

The four humans joined hands as there pokemon walked in front of them. All had death glares on their faces and the pokemon were ready to strike as they walked up to the grunts.

The glares and bond that the trainers and pokemon shared were enough to scare the grunts because the returned their pokemon and ran to hide in the jet.

The band of heroes then approached Toby and Taylor. But the twins weren’t scared by simple glares and the glared back.

“Fine then. Torchic, use ember and Clarence, use hypnosis,”

Lisa’s pokemon’s eyes both started to glow red as they reared up to attack. The faces on the twins changed from intimidation to fear.

“That’s enough for us,” the twins shouted as they returned Scyther and Shellgon to their balls and ran to the jet for cover.

“Two down and one to go,” said Dr. Spenser as the though that he was going to be fine raced through his head.

They slowly began approached the Leader, but his face showed no emotion whatsoever.

He was beginning to become enraged with his team as he said, “If you want something done right then you’ve got to do it yourself.”

He smirked an evil smirk that stopped the band of heroes in there tracks. They were starting to become weary from the man that stood before them. The Leader slowly took out a pokeball and shouted, “Go Tyranitar.”

A huge rock hard dinosaur like pokemon with spikes going down its back and down his tail appeared in between them and the Leader. It looked down at the heroes and gave an earth shattering roar the caused a small earthquake.

Use Hyper Beam,” the Leader shouted.

The giant pokemon’s eyes glowed white and it shot a yellow beam of light at the heroes that sent them flying all over the clearing. The humans had only been knocked down by the attack but their pokemon had been knocked out. They didn’t stand a chance now, as they couldn’t battle. All they could do was watch in fear as the dinosaur roared a victory roar. Joy was lying over Chansey crying over her friend. Spenser was crying over the fact that any minuet he would be taken by Team Sky. Lisa and Luther were lying next to each other and they both only had one thought, “We lost.”

The Leader smiled at his inevitable victory and said, “Now finish off with Sandstorm.”

Tyranitar roared and a big cloud of sand rose form the ground. He began spinning and the sand flew over the whole clearing and knocked down everything in its path. One by one the trainers fell to the ground knocked out by the storm.

When the dust settled, sand had been thrown over everything. Trees had been knocked over and the trainers were all in deep sleeps. The Leader returned his big brute and walked over to the doctor. He picked Spenser up and carried him back to the jet without even a glance at the others.

“I love the hard way,” he said as he threw the doctor down on the floor and climbed aboard the jet.

The jet took off into the night sky and the Leader walked over to its communication system sent the message:

“Leader T to Leader S. Mission was a success.”


**********************************************************


The sun rippled through the window and onto a pillow where a girl with blue hair slept. It awoke her from a peaceful sleep and she got out of her bed. She noticed she was naked and looked around the room for her knapsack. She smiled as she found her clothes lying neatly on top of it.

The girl smiled and went into the bathroom for a nice soothing shower. She washed thoroughly as she let the warm water cascade down her body and cleanse her of all the dirt and sand form the previous night’s battle.

After the shower she got dressed and walked into the lobby of the pokemon center where she saw Luther and Nurse Joy talking at the front desk.

“Hey Lisa,” said Luther in his once again fatherly voice, “Did you sleep well?”

She nodded her head and walked over towards Luther, “I thought that we all passed out after the battle. How did I get back to my room?”

Luther, not wanting the other trainers in the lobby to hear, whispered, “Well, after the battle I awoke from my coma and saw you sleeping beside me. All of us were there except for Dr. Spenser who I assumed was taken by Team Sky. After a few moments I saw Joy getting up and returning Chansey. I realized that you were still asleep so I took your pokeballs and returned Clarence and Torchic for you. Then I returned Magmar and gave them to Nurse Joy to heal. Since it was still dark we didn’t want to wake you so I carried you back and put you in your bed to sleep.”

GAAAAAAAAAAA! I WOKE UP WITHOUT ANY CLOTHES. YOU TOOK THEM OFF YOU SICK FREAK,” Lisa shouted causing everyone in the lobby to stare at them. The started giving Luther dirty looks as he fainted anime style.

Nurse Joy, wanted to calm the situation, quickly and said, “No he didn’t. I shooed him out the room and changed you.”

The trainers in the lobby turned back to their conversations after that comment and Lisa gave a sigh of relief.

Luther then turned to Lisa and in a serious tone said, “Listen Lisa, last night was only the first battle of many as Team Sky is still at large. We are now involved in their affairs and they know that. More than likely they will come after us to finish us off, as we are the only other people who know they exist. We must, until they are taken out, keep on our guards, stay alert, sleep with one eye open, and things like that. Do you understand?”

Lisa nodded to signify that she understood and replied, “Luther, I kind of already figured out that they would be coming after us. But don’t worry about me; with my pokemon I’ll be fine. Speaking of them, are they ready, Joy, I think I should be going.”

“Yes. Here they are,” Nurse Joy said as she handed Lisa back her pokeballs. Her face and body language showed that she was worried for the girl, but deep in her heart she knew that Lisa would be fine.

“Alright. Let’s go. I’ll escort you to the edge of town,” Luther said.

As Lisa and Luther were walking out of the center, she turned to Joy and said, “Thanks Joy for all of your help. Good Bye.”

They walked through the town of Oldale and watched children play, people walking to and from work, and just normal people who knew nothing of the dangers of Team Sky.
The walk was quiet and neither of them talked much to each other. Luther was thinking about how much work was needed to be done to bring down Team Sky. Lisa was thinking about what if she had never heard the scream last night. She would know nothing of Team Sky. She would be and normal trainer on a normal journey. That was what she wanted right now more than anything.

They only stopped once at the Mart to replenish Lisa’s supplies for her journey. Luther paid and Lisa was grateful for the man’s kindness.

When they reached the edge of town Luther asked for one more word with her before she left Oldale.

“Lisa,” he said, “I have a friend in Rustburo who may be able to help us take out Team Sky. His name is Stephen Stone. I have to remain here in Oldale and continue with Dr. Spenser’s research and I cannot go meet him. I want you to go in my place. He works in the Devon Cooperation Building where security is tight. To get in tell them that Luther Rougent sent you and you should be able to see him. Tell Stephen about what happened last night and he’ll tell you what to do from there.”

“I understand what to do but how do I get to Rustburo, I don’t have a map of Hoenn,” Lisa complained as she wondered about what information Stephen would give her.

“To get there you take this road. It will lead you straight into Petalburg. From Petalburg you go to Petalburg woods and you walk through the woods. After emerging form the woods you should see the skyscrapers of Rustburo. Follow them into the city,” he explained.

Then he remembered something he had been meaning to tell her from the start of the conversation, “Oh! You know I’m worried for you Lisa and not just because of Team Sky but also because you are going to be traveling all around Hoenn and from here on out all of you challenges will become tougher. I know your pokemon are not weak but there are other trainers out there who have stronger ones. You’ll have no protection and you’ll be on your own. I want you to promise me that you will train your pokemon each day to make them stronger so you can face those challenges and overcome them. Can you promise me that?”

Lisa looked down at her pokeballs and began to think. She thought about all of her challenges to come and thought that herself and her pokemon were strong but they could be stronger. She looked up at Luther and stared him in the eyes and said, “I know that I may not look strong now but like you said when we first met as long as I trust and grow and love my pokemon, we can overcome any obstacle and win any challenge. Don’t worry about us, Luther, we’ll be fine. Good bye.”

And with those words she turned from Luther and walked down the road and began her journey towards Rustburo and to be the best pokemon coordinator she could be.


END


**********************************************************

Well. I hope that that chapter made up for the previous four that in my opinion are bulls***


Anyway It may take longer than I thought to get chapters up if you want them to continue being like this.

peace out
lisalover
 

katiekitten

The Compromise
Wow. Talk about improvement! Well done Lisalover! This is a LOT better than before, I am very impressed.

*gives big cookie*

It could still use a little bit more improvement in the description of places, but other than that, great! Interesting idea with the two rooms at the top of sky pillar, I look forward to seeing the plot develop. Well done!
 
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FlamingRuby

The magic of Pokemon
Okay...let's see here...

Description: You had a bit of a rough start, but you've improved by leaps and bounds!
Characters: You could work on the development just a bit more....
Plot: Again, a bit of a rough start, but this is shaping up to be pretty interesting.

Rating: ;025; ;025; ;025;

Not bad for a first timer, if I say so myself.
 

Chibi Pika

Stay positive
Woosh. I'm not even going to bother commenting on the first three chapters seeing as the latter two are so much better. Seriously, you improved from three to four like what I did over the course of several revisions of my entire fic. I'm gonna try out a rating system on your fic...lesse...

Lisa's looking a bit more well developed. The random swearing/pants comments are kinda errr, but whatev. For the record, there's a way to bend the swear filter, but unless you want the fic to shoot to an instant PG-13, ya might just leave it alone. ^^;; Still, as far as characters, you might wanna keep at it and try toward making them more well-rounded and like actual people.

Characters: .5/2 (;006;)

Now then, seeing as chapter 4 recaps what happened in the previous chapters right before the big battle, you might not even need the first three chappies! And you've sorta got a little intro thing when Lisa is chasing torchic. You might manna tell new readers just to skip to chapter 4. :p

The Pokespeech explanation is kinda iffy, especially since it says that it's based on trust, but Macus can understand his Pokes right off the bat. Since he's such a hard studier, you could have him learn it in school, but then there's Lisa... Meh, I guess it works as is.

The boy = battler, girl = coordinator is kinda overdone, but anything can be pulled off provided you make it fresh and new. And as far as plotline, I'm liking Team Sky. Kudos for not just making them show up in the middle of the Aqua/Magma fight, but rather be an offshoot made by ex-members of the two dead teams. Like I said, fresh and new verion of something that's been done a million times. ^^ Radom tibit, but I like their base XP As for their motives I think you have a lot of leeway there. They obviously don't follow the Aqua/Magma theme (expanding the air? oO) so I think you have a lot of potential with their goals. I love the battle against then and,,,the heroes lost! Kudos for that I also love the "I love the hard way" line. Perfect clincher for that scene. ^^

Plot: 1.5/2 (still really hard to tell this early.) (;249; and a ;006;)
Originality: 1.25/2 (again, still hard to tell.) (;249; and a ;018;)

Description has had a major boost. There's still some grammar problems around (whenever anything is plural, it never has an apostophe, but I've seen you use poochyena's and chansey's. Only use the apostrophe when it's posessive. Also there's been some homophone trouble like where-were , seen-scene, and...there were some others, can't remember...(homophones are words that sound the same.)

Description: 1.5/2 (;249; and a ;006;)

I've noticed this...you tend to underuse exclamation points and quotation marks. Remember, use quotation marks every time anyone asks a question, and an exclamation everytime anyone shouts or even talks loudly or tries to get someone's attention or whatever.

Grammar: 1.5/2 (;249; and a ;006;)

Anywho, not bad, it ends up getting Seven ;249; and a ;018; (7.25/10)
I hope I get time to see where this ends up going. Good luck!

~Chibi~;249;<?>;rukario;
 
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Xiang

Well-Known Member
Hello! While reading through the numerous chapters, I noticed (like the others) how much your description has improved! The grammar eye of mine did catch some typoes and places needed fixing, but yet I'm enjoying myself! :D

And if that’s not enough, behind every corner there lies the most vicious and cruel of all beasts that will surly kill anything that wonders in their path.
From the end of the first handful of paragraphs in the latest chapter, surly=surely. Nothing big here, just a need to fix a little something.

Nothing lies on it but a single violent green tower that reaches up into the heavens. Thunder roars and rain falls from the thick layer of clouds that surround the tower’s roof. Passer bye can only wonder
Exactly how was it violent? The color? The sounds that bellow from within it? And it's passerby, not Passer bye. You were close! :D

Behind the red door lies a layer that looks like the inside of a volcano
Perhaps more here? I don't know what the inside of a volcano looks like. :)

It has a dark blue shine and fish tanks with angry and hungry carvanha surrounding the room.
The shine part is really nice, but you lost me there on the Carvanha. Capitalize all Pokemon names, since their species is their name, and describe them.

The only things one her face are her blood red lipstick
One=on. And blood red should be blood-red, for they together mean something a little different and less specific than when the words are apart.

<Oh is that so. Then take this>

“Ouch that was my shoulder you stuck your talon into.”

<I know. Ouch! That was my beak>

“Dahm straight.”

<Shut up you two and lets get out of here. Gaaaaa>

<What happened>

<I tripped into a tree>

“That’s my leg”

<Ha Ha! I mean sorry>

<Hey look I see a light>

“Quick let’s get out of here.”

<Agreed>
I have no idea who the heck is talking here, and add punctuation in between the last word of a quotation and the ">", because punctuation is always neccessary. :<

<Ouch! Watch the abuse wills ya> Clarence complained as he rubbed his head with his wing.

<Don’t worry about it buddy. At least our feather aren’t covered in mud and twigs like Lisa is> said Torchic as she ran for her life form her trainer.
Watch the abuse, will ya?! it should go. Form should be from. Don't forget the punctuation in between the marks!

Okay, I know I haven't gotten the whole things done, but I need some more time to read. The description of the tower and all was lovely. The improvement was done well, just focus a bit on character development.
It also gets very confusing in some places about who is talking. There are typos, and you should post up warnings of profanity before the chapter so people know. :< Anyways, you show that you've got what it takes. I just need to catch up. :D
 

lisalover

I'm a KA water bunny
Hi my reviewers

Thanks for the reviews. I was hoping that people would notice my improvment from chappie 3 to 4 and you did.

Hands cookies.

Neway like i said before my chapters are going to be longer and more description but will take longer to post. I'm trying to work on developing Lisa and Marcus as people.

Progress Chapter six is only 1/3rd done due to writers block and other things like that but if you can wait it should be worth it.

Also I starting a new thing in this thread. I'm goin to call "Ya Know What" and it will come between chapters so you have something else to look foward to. Its going to be when i tell you something about the fic that didn't make it. Its going to look like this:

Its tim for "Ya Know What"

Heres a fact beforing putting it on my computer Lisa's name was going to be Hay-Lin but I decided on Lisa because I liked that name better and I think The character Lisa looks like a Lisa

peace out
lisalover
 

Sike Saner

Peace to the Mountain
It's been said before in his thread, but I'm going to say it again: This is something that has gotten considerably better from its earlier chapters to its later ones. It's a fairly easy, uncluttered read that's genuinely enjoyable at times. ^^ There are scattered grammatical/punctuation/spelling errors; homophone mixups, questions begin ended with commas or periods rather than question marks, etc.; these htings have also already been mentioned by other reviewers, though.

Easily my favortie things about this is the personality of the Pokémon characters. A lot of my favorite moments were made by an amusing line from one of these guys. Fwee, fun. ^^

Some of my favorite moments:

“Finally my journey is about to start,” Lisa thought to herself, “I just hope I don’t get all sweaty and dirty while traveling.”

“Why not let out and see what your first pokemon is,” Luther asked.

“O.K.” said Marcus, “I’ve been waiting all my life to do this. Pokemon gooooo!”

A flash of light and out came a huge Beedrill that started to come towards the scared child.

“Ahhhhhhhhhh,” screamed Marcus as he ran and hid behind his Luther.

“The only one I’m afraid of you catch for me. You’ve got to be the worst dad in the world,” screamed Marcus.

“O.K. just calm down and how about coming out of your night mare to see what I really got for you,” said dad

XD

“O.K. torchick, hit it with a peck. No stop don’t touch it or you may get bug juice on you and I won’t be able to give you a bath afterwards,” said the cleaning crazed girl.


“Good! It’s nice to know that it is possible for you to aim,” laughed Marcus to his companion.

“Shut up and order another attack you dumba** human,” barked the enraged pup to Marcus after that last remark.

Right there's exactly what I mean by the enjoyable personalities of the Pokémon. XD

The little blue dude suddenly stopped laughing as two very sharp fangs dug deep into his butt.

I just love that sentence. XP

Hooch, having had dug his fangs so deep in to mudkip butt, couldn’t release himself and was beginning again to remember how much he hated water.

And that one! XPPP

The three watched as Luther headed down the hill towards town and Lisa said, “What a nice man.”

<Yeah! He must want to get in your pants> Torchic said.

…WHAT?!? XDDDDD

While walking out of the lobby and clipping back her pokeballs she heard, “Hi Lisa! It’s me Luther.”

<Remember to keep your pants on>chirped Torchic

*giggle-snort*

Luther just watched in amazement as the pink eggs and the nurse danced and finished their cleaning.

I like that sentence, too. Especially out-of-context. XD

“No! No! No! There my boogie shoes not yours Mr. Lincoln.”

<Humans have the weirdest dreams> thought Clarence.

<AHHHHHHH! George Washington singing Brittany Spears. It burns>

<I stand corrected>

Fwee for the weird dreams. XP Randomness with US presidents always makes me laugh. ^^
 

Advancedblazeashmaymistyp

<<<Watching me drive
well like every body else said it improved from the begining to the end i had an amount of pleasure of getting the time and aquintance to read this wonderful and mavelous story. Holy crap! did i just say tht dan& too much coffe. well anyways its good a lot of improvement than ur other chapters so nice! *throws random prizes at lisalover* OW!*somehow one of my prizes comes back and smacks across the head*
 

HB5squared

I'm Back
boy am I glad I read the later chapters because juging on the first, this isn't good at all. I like it, it's interesting at some points but at others I felt like falling asleep, so I just skipped them, therefore not knowing what had fully happened, I'll keep reading but try to keep all parts of the next installment interesting.

OVerall... GOOD!
 

lisalover

I'm a KA water bunny
Hey my readers!

If you are looking for chapter 6 then you are out of luck cause this aint it.

Anywho, I am sorry to do this but due to school, my social life, and writers block, and other things, I am not going to continue this fic until the summer when i have more time.

But don't think that i am closing this thread cause i'm not. I will be taking time to get my facs straight for the fic and to finish off the chaotic school year that has taken place due to Katrina.

I ask all of you to join me again this summer for the contiunation of this fic.

Be prepared for new gym rules and leaders, new and exciting contests rules, new rivals and more pokemon for Lisa and Marcus, and more of your favorite evil team as their mysteries and schemes unravel.

I hope you join me come summer,

peace out
lisalover
 
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