• Be sure to join the discussion on our discord at: Discord.gg/serebii
  • If you're still waiting for the e-mail, be sure to check your junk/spam e-mail folders

Beautiful Thieves ( PG-13 )

M

Mawile_Eyes

Guest
Well, this is my first fanfic. And I tried my best to write it. It is based on a story that I imagined before. So I hope you'll enjoy it. Give me your comment after you read it ^^

Give my thanks to: Skitty ( Sweet_May ) - you helped me so much for this sorty

PG-13

BEAUTIFUL THIEVES

Chapter One: MYSTERIOUS MAP

Our Beautiful Thieves: Lucy - misty - may - sakura - tomoyo

0303.JPG
: Robert


It was a cold night in the Shain Mountain and everything was sleeping in the darkness. The wind was blowing in guts and sweeping dry leaves. There was a girl sitting in the top of the mountain with her Altaria. An another girl came and sat down beside her.

"What are you thinking about, May?" the girl asked.

"Just waiting for something that is missed" May answered softly but in a sad way.

"I know you're missing your Mom and Dad. But you don't even know who they are or where they live" the girl was consoling May but she didn't say anything, she withdrew her Altaria back into the red and white Pokeball and walked on the path.

A car was coming from a far and then suddenly stopped. A voice from the inside of the car resounded. A woman with black long hair came out and looked at May and the girl.

"C'mon, Misty and May, there’s many things waiting for us. I found the last mission. The most precious thing in this world is going to belong 2 us."

"Ok, Lucy." Misty said tiredly, and it seemed she didn't like the mission that Lucy's just mentioned but she and May still got on the car and it drove away.
---------------------------

There were five girls inside the car. May, Misty, Lucy, and two girls named Tomoyo and Sakura. They were professional thieves, often stole a lot precious things but they had their own rules. To never hurt any good and poor people. They usually shared everything with poor people and helped everybody. And the last thing about them was that they were very beautiful.

"Tomoyo, tell them about the plan" Lucy said slowly while folding her hands slowly.

"The thing we need to steal is a mysterious map," Tomoyo explained. "It’s from China origin and there’s many mysterious stories about it. Some people said it could lead us to a huge repository of gems and diamonds. But...."

Tomoyo suddenly stopped and looked around, nobody heard her say and maybe this made her angry. May was sleeping while Sakura was looking herself in the mirror.

"Hello!! Stop doing your personal things and paying attention to what I'm saying" Tomoyo shouted so loud that her voice could break the car down. Everyone was wakened by her scream and Tomoyo smiled and continued, "Ok, let's go on. But the information I have from old documentation in China, that map is containing a big secret which can change the world."

Misty looked at Tomoyo and she seemed not to believe in it. She though a little map couldn't make the world or everything become chaotic. Formerly, she just stole things like jewelry, antique or fossils to sell. But nothing sounded important like that, she felt so hard to believe.

“Where is that map now?" May curiously asked, being excited about the map.

"In a rich collector's villa," Tomoyo replied while finding something on her computer, "His name is Robert. A collector who always likes to collect old things and especially, that map was bought by him. I'm trying to copy his villa's map but I don't know the password to break in."

May just smiled but that was enough to make everybody understand. May was a excellent hacker. She knocked the systems of protection of big buildings down, so breaking Robert's password is easy to her. She took control of the computer and typed in the password. After a few minutes, the map began to appear in the screen. It seemed really complicated with many traps inside the house.

[ AT MR.ROBERT'S VILLA ] - 8:00 PM

" Mr.Robert, our computers have just reported that someone hacked your password. It seems they copied your house's map. You should be carefully " - A policewoman said to Robert seriously

" Sir Jenny, I.....I have a little repuest and I hope you'll accept. " - An another policeman spoke with a halt. Actually, he was afraid of being refused but then, he found that Miss Jenny smiled and said:

" I know I know Syaoran. You've joined the E.P and you really want to prove your real talent to everyone. But this is an important mission and we mustn't make any stupid mistakes. But......." - Jenny stopped and she put her hands on Syaoran's shoulders. Syaoran was waiting for Jenny's answer tensely and he screamed like a crazyman when Jenny said: ".......But I believe in you "

" I won't make you hopeless, Sir Jenny. I will try my best to catch all of them. " - Syaoran claimed self-confidently and there was something burning on him.

--------------------------------

[ A LITTLE MOUTAIN THAT'S NEAR ROBERT'S VILLA ] - 9:00 PM

The beautiful thieves fully observed the Robert's villa with binoculars. Misty signed and watched her watch while Lucy and May talked about something. Misty was always like that, hated waiting so long but never acted hurried. She knew that there was just a little mistake, everyone would be caught by policemen.

"You just need to stick this equipment on one of the systems of protection. Me and Tomoyo will break all the traps down to open the safest way for you" May gave to Lucy a little plastic star and recommended clearly.

"Ok, I've got it. But when will we can start?" Lucy asked and it seemed to be the question Misty was interested in. Tomoyo turned off her computer and said: "12:00 p.m.. No sooner or later!"

"What?!" Misty glowered fast like a wind at Tomoyo, “Why can't we do everything sooner. I've been waiting for 2 hours and I am so hungry, sleepy, and tired".

She didn't say anything after that and then laid on the grass, looked into the moon and tiredly wondered "Will I be dead with an empty stomach?"

But Misty became full of energy when she saw Sakura eating hamburgers. She immediately sat up, ran as fast as she could and pulled one of Sakura's hamburgers like as if it was the last hamburgers in the world. They often had battles of food like that, but there was a thing which never couldn't be changed. They were sisters.

[ 12:00 PM ]

Lucy, Misty and Sakura were in purple clothes and wore special glasses. Tomoyo began to connect the systems of Robert's villa while May was talking to the others. Sakura took a ball from her belt threw it, "Go Tropius!"

The fruit Pokémon looked so fresh than ever and it was ready for the mission.

Misty and Sakura sat on Tropius's back. Lucy didn't have any Flying Pokémon so she borrowed Altaria from May. Everybody was ready and Lucy gave out the call "Girls… LET’S GO."

Next week:

After Lucy, Misty and Sakura break into, they begin to act. While Lucy has to break the traps in robert's villa, misty and sakura both go to steal the map.....but there's something happen to misty and sakura then face Syaoran.....Chapter 2 will come someday! ^^
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Xiang

Well-Known Member
Interesting! But you need description. Who and what does Tomoyo and Sakura look like? What does Lucy, Misty, and May look like? I know, but what if someone who read this didn't? Then it would be really hard to understand.

Ratiasu
 
M

Mawile_Eyes

Guest
thanks Ratiasu, I'll try to describe the characters in next chapters. And now, some pics of characters:

tomo5ry.png
: TOMOYO

pokemon_PikeQueenLucy.gif
: lucy

syaoran.png
: SYAORAN

sa9te.png
: SAKURA
 
Last edited by a moderator:
M

Mawile_Eyes

Guest
Sorry for the late, here is the second ^^

EPISODE 2: BREAKING INTO & ESCAPING

The night sky was so beautiful with thousands of stars and there was a gently cold wind blowing. Tropius was spreading its wings and flying skillfully while Altaria was flying lissomely like a fairy wearing a cotton coat and dancing. They was gonna reach Robert's villa and everybody seemed so excited. Tropius and Altaria came near a window of the villa and Sakura began to act. She used a special chemical and pour it into the window. After 1 minute, the mirror was just liquid. Misty suddenly asked:

" Why don't we break it by our Pokemon's power? " - She found that everything was being done carefully and it seemed they tried not to make any mistake.

But nobody answered her question until three girls were inside. Lucy looked at Misty and said:

" Robert is not a rich stupid man. I'm sure that he knew what would happen to his map, so there are many polices in this villa now. We must be careful or we'll caught by them. " - Lucy stopped and she though Misty's got it. " I have to do one thing to make the safest way for us. When I act, you and Sakura go to the last floor where the map is hidden. "

----------------------------------

Misty and Sakura immediately acted while Lucy was running to the systems of the villa. After that, Lucy was reached a big room with many old jars which were put around. She put her fingers on her glasses to check that there was any infra-red rays. She saw it, one of the system of the protection that was stuck on the opposite wall. Lucy took a ball from her belt and put it on the gun like a bullet. She shot and the ball flew fast into the opposite wall. It opened and her Milotic appeared.

" Use your Iron Tail on that machine " - She ordered and Milotic lifted its fan-shaped tail up. Boom! The machine was broken into the pieces and the infra-rays disappeared. She walked to the broken system and stuck the equipment from May through the electric cable. She talked on the mini-microphone : "I did it".

---------------------------

What Lucy said sent to Tomoyo. The girl with purple hair smiled and winked at May. She began to send the LUV viruses to the systems of protection while May was starting her programs to raise the viruses' speed. They broke every systems as infra-red rays, traps, electric walls and of course, the polices realized that.

" Come on, specialists. We must stop them at any price." - Sir Jenny said with her worried feelings.

" We can't. It's too fast and they're breaking everything formidablely." - One of the specialist replied and everything was becoming very very bad. Suddenly, the lights was off then and no ones could see.

Syaoran didn't want to stay here to wait for something. He got out of the room the ran to the upper floor. He though: " I won't let you do anything. I will stop you"

----------------------------------

In this time, Misty and Sakura was inside the last room. Sakura was holding Misty's hand tight and walking. She hated the darkness even though she was wearing the infra-red rays glasses and was so afraid of being alone. After that, Misty saw a huge picture on the wall. She walked near the wall and touched it.

" Wow! It's so beautiful. " - She whispered but after a few seconds she touched the picture. She fell down while her hand was still in Sakura's one. It was a trap! Sakura was trying her best to pull Misty up but she wasn't strong enough to do it. Misty began to fall into the dark hole and then, Sakura couldn't get where Misty was.

" Oh my God. I'm sorry I'm sorry so much. I couldn't keep you." - Sakura cried and and she didn't know what to do now. But she couldn't sit there and cry for losing Misty because Syaoran reached the room and he was coming in. He glanced through the room the saw Sakura. He asked:

" Who are you? And why are you here? " - He stared at Sakura and found that she was crying. He took her hand and helped her to stand up.

" My friend fell into a hole when she touched this stupid picture. " - She was so sad and didn't want to say anything. But then, she saw one thing: Syaoran's police insignia! Then she hurriedly stood up and looked into Syaoran. She threw a ball and called her Tropius! The fruit pokemon appeared and flapped its wings.

" Are you the girl who I'm lookin' for? " - Syaoran was keeping a ball in his hand and asked Sakura. But like what Sakura has just said, he could get it all. Syaoran called his Arcanine and ordered:

" Arcanine, Flamethrower" - His pokemon released a flame into Tropius but it dogded and according to Sakura, Tropiua countered with Hyper Beam.

" Fire Blast " - Syaoran raised his voice and he really wanted to end this battle as soon as possible. Tropius was so big that it was hard for it to move and the blast surrounded it. Flames began to heat Tropius and it seemed not to be able to stand anymore. Tropius fainted and it couldn't fly.

" Tro...pi...." - The fruit pokemon cried weakly and immediately, Sakura ran to its side and called it back. She stood up then and glared at Syaoran, she threw a ball which was different from the others because of its colour and called loudly:

" Roselia, I choose you" - The ball opened and the pokemon appeared. It was a Grass type again and there was a soft auroma from Roselia spread out. Syaoran was suprised because he didn'tr think Sakura chose a Grass type again.

" Ok, girl. I don't want to battle with you and hurt your pokemon." - Syaoran said courteously and he just wanted to catch Sakura, not hurt her.

" How dare you! Are you kidding? " - Sakura felt that she was being disregarded and it was like she couldn't beat Syaoran. She ordered: " Open your eyes and see what I can do. Roselia, Petal Dance "

Roselia jumped up and released thousands of petals to make Arcanine not to be able to get where it was. Even though Syaoran didn't want but Sakura made him have to fight.

" Flamethrower. Burn all the petals. " - Syaoran ordered.

As soon as he ordered. Arcanine released a big flame to burn all the petals and after a few seconds, they feel down like a fire rain. But what made Syaoran and Arcanine feel suprised most was Roselia's disappearance. There was just Sakura standing opposite him.

Sakura laughed and then told him: " Hey! Look at the ceiling "

Syaoran held his head up and found that Roselia was coming down while it was put one of its roses in front of. Sakura immediately shouted: " Roselia! Stun Spore"

Roselia began to release spore into Arcanine's face. All Arcanine's body was paralytic and it couldn't move then.

EPISODE 3 : LUCY VS ROBERT! WIN OR LOSE
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Xiang

Well-Known Member
fan-shaped up

I think you mean tail.

I'm lookin' 4?

Please don't use numbers in a fic instead of words.

her Tropius! The fruit pokemon appeared and flapped its wings.

release spore into Arcanine's face. All Arcanine's body was paralytic

You need to add a lot more description in more than these places. Fruit Pokemon doesn't tell me enough. You could say "a dinosaur Pokemon with a long neck, leaves as wings, and fruit blossoming under its chin." And what kind of spore? Blue, sparkly spore? Or green, thick, and powdery spore?

The main weakness is description. You need to say everything so readers can visualize, or picture what is happening in their mind.

And instead of giving me pictures, why don't you edit the first chapter by adding the descriptions of the characters?

Ratiasu
 
M

Mawile_Eyes

Guest
thanks so much Ratiasu for finding my mistakes ^^
fan-shaped : yeah, it means the description of its tail
I'm trying to make the readers see clearly the description from my Chapter III
 
Top