Because It's Funny! (Reject from the Laughingstock Contest./PG-13+)

[Seijiro Mafuné]

Yo, yo, yo!

It be us two, the coolest and funnest guys ever!

Seijiro Mafuné...

And Soujiro Mafuné!

So, you might be wondering just what the frell are we doing, by posting this without an actual story.

Yassee, turns out that the best way for you people to enjoy this is going to be with a summary. So, instead of posting chapter after chapter after chapter as usual, we'll set up a summary so that you people can enjoy the shtuff easier!

And also, this fic marks the introduction of a new 'real life' persona who will be coming up here for at least this fic, since we don't know how things will be later on.

You're a bit nuts, ain'tcha?

Yeah, yeah, whateva. So, we proudly present to you... Shivara Echizu!

...what the hell am I doing here?! What the- why did you two bring me here?!

Oh, relax, sweetie-

*SMACK*

Don't call me sweetie, you jerk.

Ow...

Yes, the insane PMS girl who first appeared in Seijiro's Three dots. is here!

I'm not insane or with my PMS at every moment!

But you have PMS.

...shut. Up.

Ahem... anyway, another explanation must go to the title.

Yassee, Seijiro was planning on writing it for that contest, but after a conversation with Iceking/Dracula, he thought it was better to just post it here, since it'd allow him to develop it better.

Which reminds me... to all our five readers: if you guys have any suggestions for skits, just send them in and we'll see if we can do them!

Just remember to follow these simple rules:

1-We don't make fun of people in racist forms. That is, if it happens that the joke involves homosexuals, blacks, asians, gipsies, or other sorts of minorities, be aware that we are not making fun of them because they ARE that, but because of OUTER factors. Like being fanboys.
2-Similarly, don't ask us to make fun of other people BY NAME. If you want to ask us that, we'll make fun of something ELSE instead. Called you.
3-If you think we're making fun of you in a skit, while chances are you are right, we won't ever state that. Ever. We're trying to make nice and good fun with explosions and Seijiro getting beaten up by Shivara, not stupid things.

Okay, you guys heard all that?

Good, because we won't repeat it.

Now on with the show!

+=-Chapter List-=+
Chapter One!
Chapter Two!
Chapter Three!
Chapter Four!​

 

[Seijiro Mafuné]

-=-Because It’s Funny-=-
The Gift That Keeps On Giving.​

Holiday traditions are one of the greatest traditions of Nihiron.

Some giftive holiday, 1998:
“Did you get me a present?” Jamie asked, as he was looking at Jonathan’s pile of gifts, all marked for Jonathan.
“No,” was his response.

Some giftive holiday, 1999:
“Did you get me a present?” Marina asked, as she watched May pack each and every gift she was going to give herself.
“No,” was her response.

Some giftive holiday, 2000:
“Did you get me a present?” Ash asked, as he saw Gary receiving a pie on his face, courtesy of an angry Ellen.
“No,” was his response.

Some giftive holiday, 2001:
“Did you get me a present?” Wally asked, as he walked into Brendan’s room in the wrong moment.
“No!” was his response, shortly before he got a brick on the face.

-=-
POKéRENJAA, Part One!​

One day, Ash came up to the rest of the main cast of the Pokémon games (and Wally), bringing with him a box. The rest of the group was staring at him oddly, since the last time he had brought them something, they had nearly become Salamence food.

Ash smiled as he opened the box. Inside, there were nine watches, each one having a different color. “Ta-da! I have brought to us all a brand new Pokéitem from Silph Co.! I present you all... the PokéMorphers!” he announced, hoping that they’d be as excited as he was.

They weren’t.

“PokéMorphers? What the- What are they useful for? Evolving into superior human beings?” Jonathan asked, annoyed as usual. Mostly because Jamie thought he had tried to flirt with Marina, when he had just told her he didn’t like her more than the last time she had asked him that, ten seconds before his reply.

“Well... they are supposed to allow us to transform into the legendary POKéRENJAA, and fight off against the evil KURONU EMPAIRAA with our powerful POKéMAJIN!” Ash explained, going off in bad Japanese at certain points of the conversation for no need.

“Now, I already had each one of these PokéMorphers be color-coded so that we wouldn’t have to argue about it. I’ll be POKéRED, Gary’ll be POKéBLUE, Ellen’ll be POKéGREEN, Jamie’ll be POKéGOLD, Jonathan’ll be POKéSILVER, Marina’ll be POKéCRYSTAL, Brendan’ll be POKéRUBY, May’ll be POKéSAPPHIRE, and Wally’ll be POKéEMERALD! What do you guys say?” he asked, certain that his friends would obviously agree with that.

“What do you mean, Brendan’s the Ruby Ranger? I deserve to be that!” May complained, her hands on her hips, in a pose.

“Huh? No way, May! I’m clearly the best choice to be the Ruby Ranger!” Brendan replied, angrily as well.

“No you aren’t! I mean, you aren’t even the right color! You barely wear red and your hair is white! You’re a much better Sapphire Ranger!” she explained, which made the white-haired boy fume.

“I’m not being any stinkin’ Gold Ranger, Ash! I’m a much better leader than you or Brendan were! And even considering that his spotlight is shared, he’s still better than you were!” Jamie snarled, nervously.

“Don’t you dare think of being a Red Ranger, Jamie! If any role will be mine, it’s that one or a secondary-yet-cooler Ranger!” Gary answered, ready to get into the mess as well.

“I’m not being the Green Ranger! Green is a stupid color, and it doesn’t even fit me in the original series! Let me be the Blue Ranger!” was Ellen’s response, as she prepared to get the Blue PokéMorpher, but was stopped by Marina’s hand.

“I’m not wearing a crystal outfit, Ash! I’m going to be the Blue Ranger!” the blue-haired girl complained as well, as electricity rushed between their eyes.

“Um... am I the only one who is happy with the current situation?” Wally asked, nervously, as he took the second green PokéMorpher. Jonathan smirked, and just took the silver PokéMorpher.

“Actually, just as long as I get to beat you guys up before eventually joining your group, I don’t care about the color. Ruby does sound nice, though...”

-=-
Costume Party.​

There are some things you just don’t want to see.

One example could be the time when the heroes got hyper and went off to wear costumes…

Ash: Dressed like Giovanni, only he didn’t know how to put on a suit, so he looks like Giovanni would if he had been horribly drunk recently.

Gary: Dressed like Blaine, down to the baldness. It is said he had to put on a wig for the rest of his appearances.

Ellen: Dressed like Flannery… only she went a tad too overdone with her costume and walked in the sauna beforehand.

Jamie: Dressed like Clair. He did not feel fine in the morning.

Jonathan: Dressed like Wattson. Then he walked off to catch Pikachu.

Marina: Dressed like Liza. However, the outfit was the exact size as Liza’s, not hers.

Brendan: Dressed like Erika. Thankfully, he did put on her work outfit underneath her kimono.

May: Dressed like Whitney. Wasn’t much of a difference, other than the lack of a bandanna.

Wally: Dressed like Norman. The kid had some problems later on when his wife came to the party.

 

[Xumahare]

Overall, this was a good story. Somethings are hard to understand, such as:

“Now, I already had each one of these PokéMorphers be color-coded so that we wouldn’t have to argue about it. I’ll be POKéRED, Gary’ll be POKéBLUE, Ellen’ll be POKéGREEN, Jamie’ll be POKéGOLD, Jonathan’ll be POKéSILVER, Marina’ll be POKéCRYSTAL, Brendan’ll be POKéRUBY, May’ll be POKéSAPPHIRE, and Wally’ll be POKéEMERALD! What do you guys say?” he asked, certain that his friends would obviously agree with that.

“What do you mean, Brendan’s the Ruby Ranger? I deserve to be that!” May complained, her hands on her hips, in a pose.

“Huh? No way, May! I’m clearly the best choice to be the Ruby Ranger!” Brendan replied, angrily as well.

“No you aren’t! I mean, you aren’t even the right color! You barely wear red and your hair is white! You’re a much better Sapphire Ranger!” she explained, which made the white-haired boy fume.

“I’m not being any stinkin’ Gold Ranger, Ash! I’m a much better leader than you or Brendan were! And even considering that his spotlight is shared, he’s still better than you were!” Jamie snarled, nervously.

“Don’t you dare think of being a Red Ranger, Jamie! If any role will be mine, it’s that one or a secondary-yet-cooler Ranger!” Gary answered, ready to get into the mess as well.

“I’m not being the Green Ranger! Green is a stupid color, and it doesn’t even fit me in the original series! Let me be the Blue Ranger!” was Ellen’s response, as she prepared to get the Blue PokéMorpher, but was stopped by Marina’s hand.

“I’m not wearing a crystal outfit, Ash! I’m going to be the Blue Ranger!” the blue-haired girl complained as well, as electricity rushed between their eyes.

“Um... am I the only one who is happy with the current situation?” Wally asked, nervously, as he took the second green PokéMorpher. Jonathan smirked, and just took the silver PokéMorpher.

“Actually, just as long as I get to beat you guys up before eventually joining your group, I don’t care about the color. Ruby does sound nice, though...”

It's hard to read because of all of the CAPITALS, but once you decode it, it gets easier. Seijiro, I really like the comedy at the beginning and end, but if this was supposed to be a comedy all through, it was a bit unsuccessful. I would rate this a:

5/10 ((see sig))

 

[Neko Godot]

This is written in a very strange style, but still funny. I like how it's seperated into different little skits.

 

[Seijiro Mafuné]

-=-Because It's Funny-=-
Random Funne.​

“So, anyway…” Soujiro started, before he saw Seijiro come inside, wearing a black cap with cat ears.

Seijiro smirked. “So, what do you think? Pretty sweet, isn’t it?” he asked, crossing his arms in front of him.

Soujiro blinked. “That’s Coo’s cap, isn’t it?” he asked, realization coming to him. Seijiro nodded. “And I assume you took more things from him, right?” Another nod. “Did we waste enough space yet?” Another nod. “Fine, then… go hug your plushies.”

Seijiro just laughed, and ran away cackling, while Shivara stared. “What’s his deal?”

“Read that thing he has, you’d know. But anyway… let’s crackle this whip now…” Soujiro muttered, as he began to crackle a whip.

-=-
Stupid Boring Filler.​

Not everything ever goes perfect.

“Oh, dear…” Mewtwo muttered, as he saw the amazing line of Pokémon and people who were standing in front of his castle, born from the imagination of stupid people.

“Is this what happens when all those dimensional holes across the land open up, bringing forth dozens of creatures for pathetic crossover parodies that look, sound, and smell worse than Muks mating?” Mew asked, curious and nervous.

Celebi, by Mewtwo’s side, sighed. “Actually, that is what happens when people break the fourth wall for no reason.”

-=-​

Somewhere across the world, Lucario stared at what was in front of him.

“When did the Thames lead into the Amazon Forest?” he wondered, curious, before coming up to the traditional conclusion.

“MEWTWO! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!” he screamed to the heavens, surprising a pack of random Wingulls that, while flying, chose this moment to unload half of their weight. “*PTOOIE* BLARGH! WHAT IS THIS- hey, tastes good!”

-=-​

Mewtwo sighed, as he could feel the reverse motions of his nasal cavities force his lungs into accepting the negative fluids.

“Mewtwo, why did you just force yourself into sneezing backwards?”

-=-
The Fanfic Nightmare.​

Cataclysms suck.

“It is time for the world to be laid unto ruin, for WE R EIVL!!111” said mankind.

“OMGWTF?!?!?! They must be stopped!!111” said all Legendary Pokémon (yeah, including Mewtwo).

“J00 845 n0 c84nc3 70 5u2v1v3 m4k3 y0u2 71m3.” said Ho-Oh, before mankind began BURNING BABIES!!111

“We have done the utmost proof of evilness. Now R WE EVIL?!?!?!” said mankind.

“YARLY!!111” said Mew, who disappeared. Every Legendary did as well.

“OHNOES!!111 Without the Legendaries, we have no reason 2BEVIL!!111” said mankind, before asploding.

From the ashes came a new civilization who was to suffer for all eternity because they were not guilty.

Later on the world asploded too.

 

[Orion-Sama]

Hehe. I've read most of this already, but I must say it's still funny. It's well-balanced in terms of randomness and funny liners. My favorite part was the costume one. Poor Jamie, though. O__O

Nothing else. It makes you chuckle, and that's what matters. Keep it up!

 

[Seijiro Mafuné]

-=-
Final Fantasy PKMN.​

Sometimes crossing over is dumb.

“...”

“...”

“Great, they’re on the mute contest now...” Marina sighed, as she stared at Squall and Jamie, who were both trying to out-mute each other.

-=-
Um… I Be Confused!

Three months ago…​

Brendan was watching the Pokéball he had received from Prof. Birch, his mind deep in thought. “So, I’m supposed to be training this Pokémon, and all the others I eventually capture, with love and justice?” he asked May, as the two were resting in a PokéCenter.

She nodded. “Yeah, that’s what Prof. Birch told me. Our relationship is supposed to be based upon bonds of friendship, not through slavery and possessiveness. We should incentive friendship.”

Brendan nodded, and pocketed it, thinking about how he’d show Prof. Birch the strength of their friendship.

-=-

Today…​

Brendan walked inside the lab, where Prof. Birch stood on a chair, checking his computer. “Dad?” he called, surprising the older man.

“Oh, Brendan, it’s nice to see you! How was your journey?” he asked, beaming.

“Pretty cool. I managed to be the Champion, how cool is that?” he replied, and Prof. Birch nodded.

“That’s great! By the way, how many Pokémon did you catch?”

“Just seventy-five, dad!” Brendan laughed in a silly manner. Prof. Birch blinked.

“Just… seventy… five?! What the- I thought you would have caught all 386 species in existance!” he replied angrily, making Brendan confused.

“Um… how the hell would I have caught so many? I don’t get a salary, I don’t work, and I can’t afford so many Pokéballs!” he countered, making his father take a step back.

“Oh, dear… where have I gone wrong?!” he cried to the heavens, before beginning to weep.

-=-
Phantom of the Attack of the Revenge of the Hope of the Empire of the Jedi.​

While they were sitting down and waiting for the next skit, Soujiro and Seijiro were busy doing things that people do not care about because they are they and those things suck.

Suddenly, from out of nowhere, a ninja star with five tips flew at them, striking the skit making device. As they pulled it out and turned around, they could see a ninja dressed like the Phantom of the Opera was snarling at them angrily.

“You… die… now!” he told them, but as soon as he said that, Seijiro had tackled him to the ground in a glomp. “What… the…”

“YAY!” Seijiro cheered, as he hugged the ninja. “Not only do we find a ninja, but he’s also one of those monostar guys! That’s awesome! Can we keep him, please? He’d throw those stars at us and we’d have target practice!”

Soujiro shook his head. “Nah, Sei… you don’t know where ninja have been. Besides, I’m pretty sure that’s a girl disguised as a male ninja. In fact… she reminds me of someone…”

Seijiro shrugged, before releasing the ninja and grabbing it by its shirt. “Well, if that’s so, we should get rid of this ninja who is a fake!” he said cheerfully, before throwing it face first through the window.

 

[Literate]

Ho....kay?

That was pretty funny, just not funny throughtout. It pains to write humor for me. ^.^

Just a little question:

“J00 845 n0 c84nc3 70 5u2v1v3 m4k3 y0u2 71m3.”

I can't really understand this. ^.^'

Now for highlights!

There are some things you just don’t want to see.

One example could be the time when the heroes got hyper and went off to wear costumes…

Ash: Dressed like Giovanni, only he didn’t know how to put on a suit, so he looks like Giovanni would if he had been horribly drunk recently. ^-^

Gary: Dressed like Blaine, down to the baldness. It is said he had to put on a wig for the rest of his appearances. He's bald! *chokes*

Ellen: Dressed like Flannery… only she went a tad too overdone with her costume and walked in the sauna beforehand. One of the ones I don't get.

Jamie: Dressed like Clair. He did not feel fine in the morning. I don't get this either.

Jonathan: Dressed like Wattson. Then he walked off to catch Pikachu. So he scared Pikachu away?

Marina: Dressed like Liza. However, the outfit was the exact size as Liza’s, not hers. She's dressed in ultra small slothes. Did I get that?

Brendan: Dressed like Erika. Thankfully, he did put on her work outfit underneath her kimono. Explain further, would you mind? I half get this.

May: Dressed like Whitney. Wasn’t much of a difference, other than the lack of a bandanna. The only decent one?

Wally: Dressed like Norman. The kid had some problems later on when his wife came to the party. What problems?

I loved the costume party!

“When did the Thames lead into the Amazon Forest?” he wondered, curious, before coming up to the traditional conclusion.

“MEWTWO! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!” he screamed to the heavens, surprising a pack of random Wingulls that, while flying, chose this moment to unload half of their weight. “*PTOOIE* BLARGH! WHAT IS THIS- hey, tastes good!”

That was just one of the best liners!

Three months ago…

Brendan was watching the Pokéball he had received from Prof. Birch, his mind deep in thought. “So, I’m supposed to be training this Pokémon, and all the others I eventually capture, with love and justice?” he asked May, as the two were resting in a PokéCenter.

She nodded. “Yeah, that’s what Prof. Birch told me. Our relationship is supposed to be based upon bonds of friendship, not through slavery and possessiveness. We should incentive friendship.”

Brendan nodded, and pocketed it, thinking about how he’d show Prof. Birch the strength of their friendship.


-=-

Today…

Brendan walked inside the lab, where Prof. Birch stood on a chair, checking his computer. “Dad?” he called, surprising the older man.

“Oh, Brendan, it’s nice to see you! How was your journey?” he asked, beaming.

“Pretty cool. I managed to be the Champion, how cool is that?” he replied, and Prof. Birch nodded.

“That’s great! By the way, how many Pokémon did you catch?”

“Just seventy-five, dad!” Brendan laughed in a silly manner. Prof. Birch blinked.

“Just… seventy… five?! What the- I thought you would have caught all 386 species in existance!” he replied angrily, making Brendan confused.

“Um… how the hell would I have caught so many? I don’t get a salary, I don’t work, and I can’t afford so many Pokéballs!” he countered, making his father take a step back.

“Oh, dear… where have I gone wrong?!” he cried to the heavens, before beginning to weep.

I don't really get this, so yeah. His reaction is still funny ^.^

Well, this is pretty good. I'll keep an eye out for this. ^.^

~PEACE~

 

[Seijiro Mafuné]

-=-
POKéRENJAA, Part Two!​

Ash was staring, nervously, as his friends were busy summoning their POKéMAJIN so they could settle their differences calmly like rational young children by exploding each other into fiery bits.

“Guys, please! We shouldn’t be fighting amongst ourselves, we’re supposed to be facing off against the KURONU EMPAIRAA and saving the world! Just like on TV!” he pleaded, uselessly.

“Shut up, Ash! I’ve got a few bones to pick off Jonathan’s body, and we need to settle once and for all who is the best POKéRENJAA!” Jamie replied, riding his BAKUMAJIN, who was facing off against Jonathan’s OUDAMAJIN. On the background, LAGRAMAJIN and BASHAMAJIN were smacking each other silly, while MEGAMAJIN and KAMEMAJIN were trying to beat each other up. On the background, SANAMAJIN, RAIZAMAJIN, and FUSHIMAJIN were waiting, Ash’s POKéMAJIN being empty.

Suddenly, from inside a random building that was not destroyed yet, came an odd girl holding a hideous plushy of a cross between a girl and a Banette. “AH! MEGAMI-SAMA! It’s the legendary POKéRENJAA!!! And they’re right here in my hometown! A!MS! I just gotta tell all my KAWAII FURENZU about them, and WOW! We’re gonna be talking a lot about how Shigeru and Satoshi are an official ship, just like Kenta and Kamon, and how they have lots and lots of steamy hot sex with each other, while Aoi and Kris and Haruka are all busy being stupid and are outside the series, while Yuuki is out for being ugly and Harley has his way with Mitsuki with KAWAII Onna-Ariados-chan and KAWAII Onna-Jupetta-chan!!! A!MS!!!!” she ranted stupidly, like a fangirl, while the eight POKéRENJAA inside their POKéMAJIN were glaring at her evilly.

-=-​

“Hey, Sei!” Soujiro motioned towards Seijiro to approach, as he switched on the POKéRENJAA channel. “I think we’ve got an anomaly… the POKéRENJAA are about to do something completely evil, violent, and glaringly murderous. Should we stop them?”

Seijiro watched the girl holding the hideous plushy rant, before giving his trademark vicious smirk. “Nah… it’s nothing, Sou. Just prepare to stop the transmission before we get something truly horrifying, like necrophilia. Okay?”

-=-​

Just as all the POKéMAJIN were about to walk ahead, however, SANAMAJIN took the lead, stepping hard and evilly like a Tyrannosaur Rex.

“Um… Wally, what are you doing?” Brendan asked, as they initiated contact… only to see a snarling Wally, his eyes bloody crimson, his hair beginning to change color as well.

“That girl… she deserves a lesson… one she will never forget…” he began, forcing the controls forward, before rushing towards the fangirl. “ORAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!” he screamed, before smashing the floor where she was standing with the SANAMAJIN’s large fists.

“WAAAAAAAAAAH!!!” she screamed, helpless, before the giant robot began to beat her up bloodily, stopping momentarily to take a new weapon from storage and begin beating her up with it until the weapon was out of charge, before repeating the process.

“…I didn’t know you could put a rocket launcher there,” Jamie muttered, his eyes stuck to the carnage. Marina turned towards him.

“You can’t.”

“He just put two more,” Ellen stated, as the two young children turned towards the situation again.

Brendan gulped. “May, remind me to never question or joke with Wally’s sexuality,” he asked, trembling a bit. The brunette girl nodded, before putting a hand on her mouth.

Ash turned towards Gary. “Um… that’s a bit too much, isn’t it?” he asked, sweatdropping, while he tried to ignore the screams of evisceration.

Wally eventually seemed to be done, taking two steps back, and looking down at the mass below. For the sake of the audience, just pretend the description was here.

Then, he turned both the SANAMAJIN’s hands into special cannons, and began to charge a powerful black sphere in each.

“Black… HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLE!!!” he screamed, before shooting the black spheres at the fangirl, who was swallowed by the darkness. Then, both he and the SANAMAJIN twisted their spines back, as they roared in unison. “WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!”

Jamie gulped, as he recognized the act. “Does anybody else thinks he should cut down on the mangá?” he asked, sweat forming around his temples. Nobody thought about answering.

Wally panted, as the SANAMAJIN began to shutdown, exhausted. He opened a link with the other POKéMAJIN, his eyes and hair back to normal. “I’m… fine…” he explained, before fainting, the POKéMAJIN crashing to the ground.

Jonathan stared at the limp form. “…you know, this sorta answers a good question.”

-=-
IHCS4E, Part One.​

Seijiro sat down on the ground, trembling. Ahead of him, Shivara was glaring angrily, just like the last 50 times they had met. Only her eyes were burning now.

“Seijiro…” she started, causing him to gulp in fright.

“Um, yes, dear?” he asked, before receiving a punch to the face, courtesy of an angry Shivara. “OW!”

“For the last time… DON’T CALL ME DEAR!” she roared, her eyes burning with an evil fire. He began to get up.

“Okay, honey…” he started, before getting another punch. “OUCH! Darling…” A kick to the stomach. “AIGH! Sweetheart?” A kick to the crotch. “AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!”

Soujiro then walked inside, staring at the whimpering boy and the extremely enraged girl. “Oh, hi Sei, hi Shi. How are things?” he asked, which made her glare at him, nearly as badly as at Seijiro.

“She… has been telling me… what to call her…” he gasped, before getting a smack on the head. “OW!”

“Seijiro, stop talking right now, or I’ll be forced to disembowel you for your stupidity,” she explained simply, with his response being a quiet “Eep.”

Soujiro sighed. “Well, I guess that this is enough filler material. See you guys later!” he explained, before walking outside. Shivara blinked.

“Wait… you guys are making a fic with me in it?” she asked, which made the black-haired boy’s eyes widen in fear.

“NO! PLEASE! HAVE MERCY!!!” he begged, as the scene was over.

-=-
Time Out.​

Age might bring perfection, after all.

-RBY-​

Ash: “WII! IMA TRAINAA!”
Gary: “I HATE EVRYTHING CUZ ASH STOLE MY DOLLIES!”
Ellen: “…I LIKE PIE!”

-GSC-​

Jamie: “I am a champion! I kills people and they give me monies!”
Jonathan: “Everything sucks! NOW GIVE ME MONEY!”
Marina: “I’m a scientist! And a pretty one, too!”

-RSE-​

Brendan: “The square root of the eleventh power of the eight prime number minus Pi is…”
May: “Thus, by alternating the trigonometric vectors of this fractured design, you can clearly see the design being formed.”
Wally: “Analysis incomplete: vital lifeform in decrease. Please enhance the power capacities of this model.”

 

[Seijiro Mafuné]

-=-
Analyzing The Idiots.​

Not everything is funny, but things do get hilarious.

Jamie stared at the odd girl who was standing there. “Um… anyone mind telling me what’s the deal with her? I mean, she looks like Helen, only… with a horrible set of clothes,” he asked the others, who merely shrugged. The girl turned towards them.

“Um… would you please let me join the canon cast?” she pleaded, holding both hands in a pray-ish position, apparently honest. Brendan shrugged uncomfortably.

“Well, see… it’s not this simple. We’re gonna have to check just how decent you are… after all, you did come from another dimension, didn’t you?” he explained, making the girl nod lightly. “So, we can’t just let you waltz, concerto, or sonata into here.”

“Don’t worry, however… maybe you’ll be doing fine!” Marina encouraged, although it sounded a bit fake. The girl, however, just nodded and sat down on the chair.

Kenta then took a notepad and pen. “Okay, so… first off, what’s your name?”

“Selphie, sir…”

“Wow, she’s awfully respectful. That’s a bonus – most of the others aren’t that nice…” May whispered in Brendan’s ear, who just nodded.

“Uh-huh… you’re likely a main, right?” She nodded. “So, what’s your story?”

“Well… I left with my two best friends – although one of them is a jerk who hates everything – and we’re going on a quest for badges.”

Kenta nodded. “Not that original, but good. Pokémon?”

She took out the six Pokéballs she had, and released each one of the Pokémon contained inside. While Brendan and Marina analyzed them, Kenta tapped the top of the notepad, thoughtful.

After a few thumbs-ups, he resumed the note-taking. “Seems like they’re fine. So… now for the last part. What’s the plot of your realm?”

“Um… originally, we had just left on a quest to become Champions, like pretty much everyone else… but then, along the way, we happened to become a part of a battle between two superior beings who were being drawn towards an ultimate face-off,” she explained, without really pausing.

“I see… Did you do anything special back then?”

“Not that I remember of… I mean, I did become a powerful being of light and purity, made a TM all by myself, and overall brought forth peace… although my loved one, the jerk I had mentioned before, ended up all beaten up and nursed to safety.” Kenta blinked, as she finished her tale.

“Okay… well, I’ve reached my verdict. We DO have a role for you…” he told her, making her beam… until he smirked evilly. “Target practice.” He then pulled a rope that was there somehow, and she fell into a laser-shooting field.

“Well, now that that’s done with… should we just run away before the boss gets even more hurt?” Ellen asked, tapping her foot. The others just shrugged and ran away.

-=-
Seijiro VS The Abomination, Part One.​

Painful comedy tends to be the best.

Seijiro (CRIATORUS IRRITATUS) sneaked inside the building, holding a box of holding on his hand, trying to watch for any sort of security. Thankfully, none was there.

As he stepped inside the required room, he could see Anabel (ABOMINATUS HIDETIA) on the next room, sitting behind a desk, messing with some important documents. Snickering to himself, he began to work off-screen, taking off random things from the box of holding, like ropes, hammers, and an anvil.

The noise, surprisingly, was not affecting Anabel, who clearly had earphones on her bizarre head. As soon as he was done, Seijiro looked inside, and barely could contain his laughter, as the abomination was sure to be destroyed by his meticulous trap!

After taking a saw from his box of holding, he began to climb a nearby rope, going inside the foundations, and into the attic. There, he began to move by the ceiling of her room, before going inside, but still holding to the rope.

As soon as he was close to the next rope going down, he looked below, and had to suppress a gulp. Boy, was that high up, wasn’t it? But still, it would be worth it! His plan came back to mind – he had taken an anvil to her room, tied it with a complex rope system to the roof so that it was exactly over her, and was now going to cut the rope holding the anvil down. It was only a matter of not paying much attention to the ground below…

He slid down the rope, standing on top of the anvil, and looked below. Yes! The abomination was not paying attention to him! He kept quiet, however, and merely began to cut the rope.

As soon as the rope was cut, he could feel the pull of gravity, and knew he had to jump, but… when the anvil passed just BEHIND the abomination, he forgot to jump and went through the floor with the anvil!

As Seijiro fell down fifty floors with the anvil, he tried to figure out what went wrong. Obviously, it couldn’t have been his trap. Had she moved herself forward between him going to take the saw and back? Well, that was the most logical choice, clearly. Next time he was going to just drop the anvil on her.

Eventually, the anvil hit the ground, digging far too much for Seijiro to follow. He sighed, but relaxed at the fact that at least nothing worst had happened.

Meanwhile, Anabel pushed herself backwards, now that the odd shadow was clearly gone… and fell down fifty floors, straight onto Seijiro’s body.

At least she was harmed too, being crushed by the chair she was in, pieces of ceiling, and Seijiro’s foot once he realized she had fallen on him.

-=-
And Now For Something Different Starring Ben Stiller.​

“Don’t you dare touch that Masterball, Jonathan!” Jamie threatened, as he came on-screen.

“Uh, oh, I just did,” said Jonathan, holding a purple Pokéball on his hand, clearly with the intent of using it

Kenta put his hands on his head. “Oh, no, here comes the hijinks!” he panicked, before a red light flashed on and off, and the scene paused to show Soujiro and Seijiro, who were watching everything from Hell inside the Sun.

“Uh, oh, that’s the panic light,” Soujiro recognized, as he stared at the screen. Seijiro blinked.

“The panic light? That’s stupidum*******efeatripowerlesshystenoughumpetersonationalunkheadsplatwisted…” he said dryly, with a huge and possibly non-existant but still owned word.

Soujiro took offense from the comment. “Well, it’s the panic light. It was made by Self-Insert. Duuuuuu… patented it! With Angst’s soul.”

“Well, that is a better way of using him. But what does that mean?” Seijiro asked, as a link blinked on-screen.

“It means that we are at a pause because the plotline sucks. I thought it was not supposed to, but oh well. This time, we will actually talk about… a fairytale.” Seijiro slapped Soujiro’s head.

“Oh, come on… Fairytales suck, are bad lies wrapped in childish sugarcoats, and are worth as much money as those two pathetic liars who antagonize me,” he pointed out, while Soujiro blinked.

“Eh, I didn’t know you cared.”

“Whatever. Fact is, they are stupid,” he pointed towards Outside Space, “this story is stupid,” he then pointed towards the link with another hand, “and I’m sending it to the Phantom Zone!” he stated, as he used a Fenton Cooler to suck the story away.

“…I thought you told me the joke/parody factor wasn’t going to be that high?”

Seijiro sighed. “Okay, I lied. Sue me. Sue me with her,” he pointed at Shivara, who grumbled and tapped her foot, annoyed.

Soujiro shrugged. “Eh. Anyway, I guess we spent enough time in this plot device.”

Seijiro nodded. “Yep.”

“So, we’re gonna die.”

“Yep.”

They burned away into Earth. “So, we died.”

“Yep.”