Tsukiomi No Kaze
Member
Hello all, im Tsukiomi No Kaze and im quite new here. Im going to writing a Fanfic that has been in the making for awhile and, before i write anything more i wanted some opinions from you guys before I proceed.
Pokemon RPG story- Tsukiomi
This fanfic is a telling of a RPG I have been playing for over two years now, it follows my character Tsukiomi and the various crazy things that happen to him across his pokemon journey. My username is an omage to this character.
Now I have been trying to make a decision on how I will present this story. I had a plan of doing much of the overworld descriptions and other important events happening across the globe in 3rd person. But for everything else (character interactions, battles etc.) I wanted to write in 1st person (excluding the prolouge) I was also contemplating on putting in character bio's and pokemon description (there are qiute a few alternate evoloutions and pokemon unique to this story.) I was wondering if you guys think this is a good strategy for this p[articular fic. I have put the prolouge down below, tell me what you think (this is about half of the prolouge and nothing much has happened yet, but i wanted to get some opinions before proceeding with the story (because this will be a long fanfic with many chapters).
Note: I did this on notepad so the spacing might be a little awkward.
Enjoy!
Edit: Re-did the prolouge! Its now in the right format and is a better read (I hope)
Prolouge: Tsukiomi Trainer From Pallet
It was on the dawn of summer days in the town of Pallet. Today is a very important day indeed, Tsukiomi, our hero is about to set off on his Pokemon journey and travel the world.
"Finally, now those years of studying without complaint will finally pay off.." I let out a tired sigh as I made my way towards Old Proffesser Oaks Lab. It was a pretty big place, a technological landmark of sorts. It marked the beginning of every Pallet Trainer's journey for the last 40 years and still stood as strong as ever. The exterior was nothing special, big white, lots of windows, you get the picture. I rang the bell at the front entrance and stood in front of the camera. After a few seconds an Aide's squeaky voice came out from the speaker.
"Hello, Proffesser Oaks Pokemon Research Facility how may i help you?"
"Im one of the new trainers here to get his pokemon"
A few seconds passed in awkward silence.
"You may enter, the Professer should be in his study at the moment, 3rd door on the left"
The door buzzed and I entered. The Lab was quite a busy place during the day, you could see Aides shifting in all directions blabbing about various tasks they were given. I crossed the room quickly, bumping into a few Aides here and there until I reached the door which read "study" over it. I opened the door quietly and slipped inside. The room was smaller than the others, only a lone computer lay in the corner in contrast to the many in the other rooms. In the middle of the room sat the man himself, Professer Oak that is, sipping a cup of something, Tea I guessed. White hair, dirty lab coat and a unshaven stubble, he appeared to be a senile old man, but I knew better. Proffeser Oak is the man who invented the Pokedex 35 years ago, he is the Pokemon worlds leading scientist and researcher. It has been tradition for years for Pallet's Trainers such as myself to recieve their first pokemon from him.
I tensed up as I approached him. "I am one of the new graduates from the Pokemon Academy, Tsukiomi. I have come here in regards concerning with my Pokemon Licence." I handed over of diploma to him.
"Ah yes, I heave heard much about you. Your scores on the PTPE were very impressive indeed" He took another sip of his tea after he finished speaking and pointed towards the lone computer terminal in the lefthand corner of the room.
Pokemon Trainer Proficiency Exam- in case you were curious
"Click on the Pokemon you wish to recieve and I will retreive its Pokeball" said the Professer as he went back to his tea.
I went to the terminal and scrolled through the list of Pokemon available, and after a few moments I made my decision. Professer oak afterwards started going through an old looking box in the other corner of the room.
"HEY! SORRY IM LATE!" came a loud voice.
I looked towards the door and recognized the person. Long black hair and forest green eyes.. Hayne Greens, always the loudmouth of the class, quite the showoff but could put the money where his mouth was, so to speak. I let a small smirk show on my face as he hurried through the introductions to the Professer and after a few moments had chose his pokemon too.
"Ahem" the Professer cleared his throat and I gave him my attention.
"Today I am pleased to give Tsukiomi and Hayne Greens their first Pokemon and their Trainers Licenses. Congradulations to the both of you!" The Professer gave a big smile as he handed me and Hayne our Pokedex's and Pokemon.
I thanked Professer Oak gave a cocky smirk to Hayne and was on my way out the entrance to lab when..
"WAIT UP!" came an annoying voice as I turned around and saw Hayne.
"Can't we at least have a going away battle?" asked Hayne with a grin.
"Very well" I said as we let our Pokeballs fly simulataniously.
"Ditto!" I called.
"Charmander!" Exclamied Hayne.
Charmander was the standard choice for a Fire-Type Pokemon and fit Haynes happy go lucky personality perfectly. I on the other hand, chose Ditto, the amorphus transforming Pokemon, it was the perfect Pokemon strategically, a perfect choice for a calculating trainer such as myself.
"Charmander start things off with an ember attack!" Hayne exclaimed as the small lizard like creature shot a small jet of flame from its mouth.
I waited for the right moment and... "Ditto Transform now!"
Just as Charmanders attack collided with Ditto, Dittos form shifted dramatically, now resembling Charmander closely, difference being Dittos small beady eyes in place of Charmanders.
We are going to have to work on that...
"Ditto, retaliate with a growl, and follow with a scratch attack!" Ditto gave out a high pitched growl and Charmander recoiled in discomfort and pain as Ditto charged and slashed at Charmanders skin, covering Charmander with small cuts across its body.
Haynes smirk disappeared from his face as he got serious "Charmander, no mercy! Keep Scratching until its goes down" Charmander gave out a large wail as it started to deliver blow after blow onto Ditto, Ditto then retaliated in likewise fashion and the battle was over one moment later.
Ditto and Charmander both lay on the ground fainted. A draw then, better than a loss i suppose. Hayne and I shook hands.
"Man you are good! see you around!" shouted Hayne as he ran off towards the town exit.
Didnt even wait for my response, same old Hayne. After buying nessessites from the nearby shop, I set off as well.
My journey was just beginning...
Pokemon RPG story- Tsukiomi
This fanfic is a telling of a RPG I have been playing for over two years now, it follows my character Tsukiomi and the various crazy things that happen to him across his pokemon journey. My username is an omage to this character.
Now I have been trying to make a decision on how I will present this story. I had a plan of doing much of the overworld descriptions and other important events happening across the globe in 3rd person. But for everything else (character interactions, battles etc.) I wanted to write in 1st person (excluding the prolouge) I was also contemplating on putting in character bio's and pokemon description (there are qiute a few alternate evoloutions and pokemon unique to this story.) I was wondering if you guys think this is a good strategy for this p[articular fic. I have put the prolouge down below, tell me what you think (this is about half of the prolouge and nothing much has happened yet, but i wanted to get some opinions before proceeding with the story (because this will be a long fanfic with many chapters).
Note: I did this on notepad so the spacing might be a little awkward.
Enjoy!
Edit: Re-did the prolouge! Its now in the right format and is a better read (I hope)
Prolouge: Tsukiomi Trainer From Pallet
It was on the dawn of summer days in the town of Pallet. Today is a very important day indeed, Tsukiomi, our hero is about to set off on his Pokemon journey and travel the world.
"Finally, now those years of studying without complaint will finally pay off.." I let out a tired sigh as I made my way towards Old Proffesser Oaks Lab. It was a pretty big place, a technological landmark of sorts. It marked the beginning of every Pallet Trainer's journey for the last 40 years and still stood as strong as ever. The exterior was nothing special, big white, lots of windows, you get the picture. I rang the bell at the front entrance and stood in front of the camera. After a few seconds an Aide's squeaky voice came out from the speaker.
"Hello, Proffesser Oaks Pokemon Research Facility how may i help you?"
"Im one of the new trainers here to get his pokemon"
A few seconds passed in awkward silence.
"You may enter, the Professer should be in his study at the moment, 3rd door on the left"
The door buzzed and I entered. The Lab was quite a busy place during the day, you could see Aides shifting in all directions blabbing about various tasks they were given. I crossed the room quickly, bumping into a few Aides here and there until I reached the door which read "study" over it. I opened the door quietly and slipped inside. The room was smaller than the others, only a lone computer lay in the corner in contrast to the many in the other rooms. In the middle of the room sat the man himself, Professer Oak that is, sipping a cup of something, Tea I guessed. White hair, dirty lab coat and a unshaven stubble, he appeared to be a senile old man, but I knew better. Proffeser Oak is the man who invented the Pokedex 35 years ago, he is the Pokemon worlds leading scientist and researcher. It has been tradition for years for Pallet's Trainers such as myself to recieve their first pokemon from him.
I tensed up as I approached him. "I am one of the new graduates from the Pokemon Academy, Tsukiomi. I have come here in regards concerning with my Pokemon Licence." I handed over of diploma to him.
"Ah yes, I heave heard much about you. Your scores on the PTPE were very impressive indeed" He took another sip of his tea after he finished speaking and pointed towards the lone computer terminal in the lefthand corner of the room.
Pokemon Trainer Proficiency Exam- in case you were curious
"Click on the Pokemon you wish to recieve and I will retreive its Pokeball" said the Professer as he went back to his tea.
I went to the terminal and scrolled through the list of Pokemon available, and after a few moments I made my decision. Professer oak afterwards started going through an old looking box in the other corner of the room.
"HEY! SORRY IM LATE!" came a loud voice.
I looked towards the door and recognized the person. Long black hair and forest green eyes.. Hayne Greens, always the loudmouth of the class, quite the showoff but could put the money where his mouth was, so to speak. I let a small smirk show on my face as he hurried through the introductions to the Professer and after a few moments had chose his pokemon too.
"Ahem" the Professer cleared his throat and I gave him my attention.
"Today I am pleased to give Tsukiomi and Hayne Greens their first Pokemon and their Trainers Licenses. Congradulations to the both of you!" The Professer gave a big smile as he handed me and Hayne our Pokedex's and Pokemon.
I thanked Professer Oak gave a cocky smirk to Hayne and was on my way out the entrance to lab when..
"WAIT UP!" came an annoying voice as I turned around and saw Hayne.
"Can't we at least have a going away battle?" asked Hayne with a grin.
"Very well" I said as we let our Pokeballs fly simulataniously.
"Ditto!" I called.
"Charmander!" Exclamied Hayne.
Charmander was the standard choice for a Fire-Type Pokemon and fit Haynes happy go lucky personality perfectly. I on the other hand, chose Ditto, the amorphus transforming Pokemon, it was the perfect Pokemon strategically, a perfect choice for a calculating trainer such as myself.
"Charmander start things off with an ember attack!" Hayne exclaimed as the small lizard like creature shot a small jet of flame from its mouth.
I waited for the right moment and... "Ditto Transform now!"
Just as Charmanders attack collided with Ditto, Dittos form shifted dramatically, now resembling Charmander closely, difference being Dittos small beady eyes in place of Charmanders.
We are going to have to work on that...
"Ditto, retaliate with a growl, and follow with a scratch attack!" Ditto gave out a high pitched growl and Charmander recoiled in discomfort and pain as Ditto charged and slashed at Charmanders skin, covering Charmander with small cuts across its body.
Haynes smirk disappeared from his face as he got serious "Charmander, no mercy! Keep Scratching until its goes down" Charmander gave out a large wail as it started to deliver blow after blow onto Ditto, Ditto then retaliated in likewise fashion and the battle was over one moment later.
Ditto and Charmander both lay on the ground fainted. A draw then, better than a loss i suppose. Hayne and I shook hands.
"Man you are good! see you around!" shouted Hayne as he ran off towards the town exit.
Didnt even wait for my response, same old Hayne. After buying nessessites from the nearby shop, I set off as well.
My journey was just beginning...
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