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Being friendly = being creepy. Clearly.

BroaddySN

We are Siamese
Okay, so I've wanted new friends to go along with my current group of friends that I hang out with, I mean I enjoy the current group but I've been friends with them for 3 years, and one of them for 5 years. I'm a guy, but most of my friends are girls, and in my group there's only one other guy in it. I NEED other guy friends.

So through my days in school I've been looking for potential buds. And they are both in one of my classes, but on the opposite side of the room. So I haven't gotten the chance to talk with either of them. I see both of them almost all day every other day in school, but I haven't had the chance to chat with them. I just need an icebreaker or two to get the ball rolling, but no dice. One of them has a myspace, and I know that one them had lost a close person to a disease that I have lost a close relative to, so I thought I could send him a message on myspace asking him if he has one because I do.

(There's something he has that makes it clear to a perfect stranger of his loss) but I was wondering if that'd be too creepy if a perfect stranger from his school asks him about something that personal.

I just can't think of a way to talk to them somehow. Suggestions?
 
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Aquadon

TCG Trainer
So, this is essentially the "Bromance" thread? If you guys sat near each other, the whole doing work together might be one way to break ice. I'm not going to lie, my latest friends I've met doing Engineering homework together, and we've just bonded and hang out pretty much everyday. If you can take that angle of doing work together, bonding on common likes could be around the corner.
 

BroaddySN

We are Siamese
I'm sorry, I rushed right into posting the dilemma I didn't bother to check if there was something similar to this. Oops.

But I don't sit near the guy, it's like this:

Him Me

But my question is is there a way to avoid creepiness if i were to send that message on myspace?
 

Ethan

Banned
Funny enough, I'm going through the exact same thing since I moved and enrolled into a new school. I had few guy friends back in my town, and pretty much the only people I talk to at my new school happen to be females.

It's weird I suppose, but I find that women are usually more open and easier to talk to than men are. Usually guys get their good friends from the sports they play, it can be difficult to get to know them if they just happen to be in one of your classes. I tried to get to know one person in my first hour via facebook since we didn't get the chance to talk too much and asked him if he could help introduce me to some people, and I got completely blown off. I guess he thought I was being creepy or something. After all, nowadays being friendly = being creepy.

But what can I say, a man needs his BROS YA KNOW? Normally I would close this and say to go to the advice thread, but the question actually touches on an interesting subject. Sociology ftw.
 
Wow, this sounds like me but flipped around. I'm a girl who pretty much has only guy friends that I'm with the most. Long story short, all my girl friends around when high school started, either moved or gave up on me because I wasn't into drooling over every single good-looking guy I saw. Anyhow, over time I got to know new people, but the guys only stuck, until they became my new group of friends. This being because of my awesome nerdy hobbies usually more guys have.

So then because of this, sometimes I had these girly topics to discuss, but no one to listen to them seriously. As of today I still don't have any close girl friends, but I'm getting to know some at my college a bit better so I'm glad about that. But I'm still struggling to find girls to become good friends with. I'm shy at first so unless we really have something in common, it doesn't really last.

So that's my side of my problem. Want to trade? haha, kidding. But onto your question, talking about something personal right away, may seem a bit awkward. Specially if this person barely knows you, and has never actually talked to you in person before. I don't recommend discussing about the illness online. Bringing the illness up may be a touchy subject if it's still recent.

So then, how would you talk to them? We're back at square one. Simply randomly introducing yourself may also be awkward. Do you know any of their hobbies? What they do for activities? You could try and bring up a topic that way. The only chance I would bring up the illness was if he was currently talking about it at that moment, and if you overheard it you could mention something like that happened to you.

I know one way I became friends with this one guy at my church was because when I first made my facebook, I recognized him since he's been around awhile, clicked his info, and found out he had a deviant art and liked anime and so on. I left him a message and we became friends pretty quickly. So common interests are always nice to have. But then again, it's nice getting to know completely different people too. :D So don't completely trust interests to get you through all the way. Try out what that person likes for the heck of it; that's the best way to get a grasp on what they're like. Having a wide interest is the key.

So don't give up, I'm sure you'll find a new awesome friend! Just takes a bit of time. (Wow, didn't think I'd type that much. lawl.)
 

Willow's Tara

The Bewitched
I have the same problem as well, I find it easier (Not too much though) to talk to a woman then a man. Maybe it's because I don't know what to talk about to them especially if they don't share their feelings and I just don't want to make them feel uncomfortable really.

I guess you should try to find a common ground with them, facebook might be a good idea I think even if you aren't friends with them you can have a look at their interests (I think), if you can do that you can figure out what to talk about.
 
I'd recommend cyber stalking their fabebook/myspace for a common interest and then find a way to subtly bring it up. Ive found common interests/personalities the best thing to base a friendship on. ;123;
 

Krake

Flabebe's Kids
I don't really have that same problem per se, because I actually have a group of friends, most of which are guys. I try making friends in my other classes with varying success. Probably the one that is the most irritating is my Psychology class because, aside from a few people who are cool, the rest are bros and hoes (which are female equivalents to bros and usually hang out with the latter).
 

Rave

Banned
Apparently, I find being friendly with people can be creepy. Its just, not really seen enough these days, because most people are asses these days. Whenever they're friendly with me, its creepy. And whenever I try to be nice to people, they seem to find it very creepy. So yeah... really... its just really not that easy alot of the times. You really don't know who you can trust.
 

Lucario God 1

Master of Lucario
I find talking to people easier coz I'm a bit spaz. I just yell out their name (not too loud), and they usually yell back. I find lunch is a good time to talk. Easier to talk over a full belly. Use your existing friends to make friends. When I started the school that I'm at, I only knew 2 people. Then I made friends in lessons, and at lunch through following my friends to people they know and so on. If you can find out what IRL clubs they go to, you will have high chance of making friends. If at teacher is ill and you get a supply teacher that doesn't know your class's seating plan, try and sit somewhere near them. Loners are easy to make friends with, and nerds, as they are likely just to stay in their normal place. To make friends with energetic people, you have to be more energetic when talking. Controlled Sugar Rushes help.
 

denizenofevil

Well-Known Member
That's another thing I could never understand about society. If you're nice, they think you're a stalker. I had an old friend who thought I was a stalker because I remembered her birthday. Jerk... Anyways, it seems like it's harder and harder to make friends nowadays.
 

Shneak

this is a Nessa x Sonia stan account ✨
It is a lot harder to make friends nowadays. You can barely have a conversation anymore without them getting freaked out.
 

BroaddySN

We are Siamese
Yeah, people get freaked out too easily. I will try and give an icebreaker tomorrow about what the homework was, and hopefully that'll work.

But about the creepy thing, this other guy today in my class I knew from a class I had back as a freshman he told me he recognized me and thought we had a class together. So I asked if he even knew what year and he knew nothing else but the fact we had a class together.

If I had told him I knew the year, teacher, and class I had him with, which was just because I remembered, he'd probably think I was a complete stalker. Even though nothing abnormal was in that situation.

Ugh... It's nice to know that many of you know exactly what I'm going through.
 

Nissan Returns

SpacialRiftGuardian
Women are just easier to talk to, that's it. I would hate being a woman, because men are so difficult to be friends with. You greet em nice every day? They think you're homo. Be a di<k? You're an a-holeto them in their mind. When you find a guy friend that isn't like that its great, but most guys are too sport-oriented for me. BTW, I'm completely straight.
 
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Too sport-oriented...
Guys are driven by competition, sports are just the main outlet of this, I don't see how this is a problem.
If I don't have some sort of a rivalry with another guy they're probably not going to be my friend.
 

Tropios

':o Me is stinky??'
well i have no problems with making friends, ive lots of guys and girls as friends, but its different for each person. i wouldnt pick someone to be my friend, if youre open and (being charming helps :) ) just talk to some people, you could know if you like or dislike them. just ask his myspace or whatever, most people just add people from their school, so it isnt that weird.
 

Ethan

Banned
ITT, Ethan gives us a glimpse into the inner workings of the creeper's mind.
When I'm on 60 minutes I'll give you a shout out.

There's nothing wrong with guys being into sports. I plan on doing track in the spring. It's just that a lot of the time guys make sports into their entire lives. Getting to know people like that can be difficult because if you're not as crazy about the game as they are, there might not be much to talk about. I don't really see why you have to have a rivalry with a guy to be friends with them, but whatever floats your boat I guess.

And I agree that today people don't really know how to interpret friendliness. I also notice that its different among states. Down South people are WAY friendlier than in the North U.S. For example if you moved into a new town in Georgia for example, you have neighbors coming to your door inviting you over for dinner. Or baking you a cake to welcome you. Minnesota? We didn't so much get a "hello, top of the morning" from our neighbors until months after.

The good thing is though I'm going to a dance this Saturday where I can see all my friends again and chill. Having a huge party and going bowling, and a movie on Sunday. It just sucks that I have to go back Sunday night.
 
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