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Being Yourself and Changing to be with Others

Dattebayo

Banned
You remember that old saying: "If you ever want to make friends or have respect, you should always be yourself". Apparently, it seems that the old saying doesn't usually work in the internet. Whenever a person tries to be himself, as in explaining his own thoughts about anything, there's a chance that some users will call him/her an idiot for having those thoughts because they are either wrong or just hate any opinion but their own. This force the said person to change his opinions in order to fit in with the crowd. I used to be one when I first joined Serebii Forums, I was trying to be myself by explaining my own thoughts about any subject and end up being called an idiot or a troll because my opinions were wrong. The smart Serebii users try to explain to me how I'm wrong, but I simply ignored them all for the sake of me thinking I'm always right. They soon hate me as well. So right now, I'm trying to change so I can be accepted by those who hate me here. But then I think about the old saying. If I ever change, then I would be breaking that old saying. So tell me, is changing yourself really necessary so you be respected by others or is that against making friends/getting respect by being yourself? My apology if this is in the wrong section; you can move it to another section that's best suited.
 
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octoboy

I Crush Everything
I'm told if you never try to change for other people, you'll end up not caring for anyone else's feelings. Kinda makes a little bit of sense when you think about it.

Anyway, when it comes to the original poster's question, I've had similar experiences. There are tons of people out there who really can't tolerate anyone who doesn't have their level of knowledge and/or share their exact views. Over time, I learned to try to think about what I posted before posting it. It's not exactly changing yourself for others too much. All it is is being careful what you say, and not simply speaking your mind all the time. The person who never thinks about what he says before saying it will probably be thought of as inconsiderate for that reason.

However, I do agree that a large degree of internet goers tend to be overly hostile towards those who don't agree with them or know as much as they do. Though I have a theory that some of them are really nerds with a chip on their shoulder who complain about everyone else's idiocy because they were unpopular being the smart kid in real life.
 

Dattebayo

Banned
And honest to god Datte, are you really making an entire thread because I called you stupid?

Not just you, Empy, but also Slick, Spacial_Rendation, Mr. Joker, just to name a few.

I'm told if you never try to change for other people, you'll end up not caring for anyone else's feelings. Kinda makes a little bit of sense when you think about it.

But what if it also leads to destroying your reputation from those people?

Anyway, when it comes to the original poster's question, I've had similar experiences. There are tons of people out there who really can't tolerate anyone who doesn't have their level of knowledge and/or share their exact views. Over time, I learned to try to think about what I posted before posting it. It's not exactly changing yourself for others too much. All it is is being careful what you say, and not simply speaking your mind all the time. The person who never thinks about what he says before saying it will probably be thought of as inconsiderate for that reason.

There are times when I think before I post something, but in the end, I decided to post it because I want to know other people's thoughts about my thoughts and see if there's anyone who agrees/diagree with me so I could either keep my opinion or change it to gain more respect.
 

frozenthrone101

BugBite Leader
i only fake first impressions , cause when i dont I'm pretty f***in scary
 
When you grow up you'll find out that your reputation won't matter, and what we laugh about here doesn`t matter in the real world.

Besides, its looked down upon if you be yourself, because its nonconformist.
Which explains my severe lack of friends.
:V
 
You should always be yourself no matter what. If you're trying to be the person other people who don't matter want you to be, then you're just wasting your energy.

With me. People will either think i'm a psychopath. Or they'll love me for my randomness. It all depends, and the people who will hate you for being yourself are not worth it.

Not just you, Empy, but also Slick, Spacial_Rendation, Mr. Joker, just to name a few.

I'll let them all know how wrong they are about your intelligence. Don't worry. m,whahaha ^_^

/wait ..this is about the internet? I thought we were talking about being yourself IRL. wow. hm.
 
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Dattebayo

Banned
Besides, its looked down upon if you be yourself, because its nonconformist.
Which explains my severe lack of friends.
:V

Not entirely, I've made a few friends for being myself.

/wait ..this is about the internet? I thought we were talking about being yourself IRL. wow. hm.

Yes, I'm talking about being yourself when in the internet.
 

Zazie

So 1991
Don't worry about what other people think. If everybody agreed all the time, there wouldn't be as much discussion here. If you want more respect, I may suggest trying to make posts that are well thought out and contribute well to the discussion.
At least that works on most forums, on Serebii it seems the way to "respect" is to make personal attacks (which are banned on a lot of other forums but strangely tolerated here), and try to be an internet tough guy.
 

Grei

not the color
Don't care about what others think. If a bunch of people on the internet are calling you stupid and you're offended by it, it just makes you stupid--more stupid to them--for getting all worked up about it. It's the internet. You're reading text. If somebody says something to you, the way you interpret it is based almost entirely on however you're feeling when you read what they said. Sarcasm often doesn't read well and it's easier to be offended when you read sarcasm, even if it was light-hearted and not intended to be taken seriously.

But if you get worked up about it all the time, it doesn't do you any good. Just stop caring so much about how others will respond to your posts and don't allow yourself to be thrown into turmoil as soon as somebody calls you stupid. It's dumb to do that on the internet, especially when, more than likely, you will never see these people in real life and thus you will never have to deal with them outside of Serebii forums.
 

Aquadon

TCG Trainer
Haters gonna hate

Seriously, people are going to always disagree with you. The thing is you have to stand firm to your beliefs, and if they have another opinion that'll be their opinion. It doesn't hurt though to show reasons why you're thinking what you're thinking (and not something flimsy like, "just because"(*coughkengocough*)). HARD FACTS go a long way. That or experience that you've had.

In the end though, it's the internet. At least 90% of the people you meet here you will never meet in real life, so you shouldn't really care.
 

Willow's Tara

The Bewitched
I was actually sort of talking about this with Gardevoir on the chat last night (An op). This guy was saying he was going to find a DBZ fan and destroy him, I was telling him that he can't just do that because someone likes something else, it's none of his business and Gardevoir said that it was sadly the way of the internet, people are always like that.

In real life too, I always seen people saying if you like Miley Cyrus or this person or that show you should jump off a cliff and die. Which annoys me, now I don't care about Miley but there are others out there who do like her. You can't bash someone's opinions just because what they like. Debating is fine but saying you deserve to die because you watch is crossing the line. (Ironic coming from a Pokemon forum too). There's plenty of shows I don't like but do I bash the others who think so? No I don't because they are not me, they are not going to like the same thing.

I actually a while ago had someone tell me had no opinions and any opinions I said did not matter from this forum, sure it's annoying and sometime hurts when I think about it but did I stop talking to people? Sharing my opinion on the debate forum etc? No because you cannot let those people tell you what to do (And telling someone to die is cruel, what if someone actually did that? If that happened then I would call them a murderer I don't give if it's the internet).

In the 10th grade I stopped being someone else that someone wanted. It didn't matter what I do in that school because I was not going to be like by everyone. Even the nicest and most generous and kindest person on this planet will be hated. I decided I didn't care about what others think, what's the point of being someone you are not? That's what acting is for
 

Sha742

Well-Known Member
Maturity is finding the balance between conformity and trailblazing.
If you want to be able to say something that contradicts status quo, you need to have standing. Those who don't but still go against the current will often be labeled as ignorant.

Really, it's a pretty good arrangement. If you go against status quo, you should know enough about it to bash it.

With that said, the reason the internet is 'worse' is because we have anonymity and we can what we want without the repercussions.

As an example, if I ever met the person above me, I'd probably take her to lunch, hold a pleasant chat, and laugh merrily at things that probably wouldn't be that funny if I wasn't attempting to be cordial. And yet, over the internet, having never met her, I have no problem calling her a dumb bitch.

Do I think she's a dumb bitch? Not really. But I'll say it because it gets a rise and there's no consequence.
 

Dark Eevee

Well-Known Member
I just be myself and if they don't like my opinion, well then I don't really give a ****.
 
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Dattebayo

Banned
I just be myself and if they don't like my opinion, well then I don't really give a ****.

But what if they give it a proper/logical reason to not like your opinion? You'll soon find out they are right, and ended up being a complete fool of yourself, like me.
 

Zazie

So 1991
But what if they give it a proper/logical reason to not like your opinion? You'll soon find out they are right, and ended up being a complete fool of yourself, like me.

That's when you cut your losses and possibly admit you made a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes, it's only bad when you're insisting on something that isn't true just for the sake of being arguementative.
 

Erienne

Anime high :D
Someone above said this, Datte, but point is: it really does not matter what anyone says to you on the internet. Unless it's like "I have your family hostage" or, "I'm going to kill you" and lists your address. People tend to be overtly hostile sometimes, but I don't really know why you and Empy are fighting. That thread was fun, as far as I remember it. And then it was closed. :( But, point is, this isn't reality; you really don't know who you're talking to.

Like, sorry for the out of topic-ness, but like, a case like this was when I used to use this chat room thing, and I found out independently that one of my friends in real was someone I knew on this chat room.

Don't let things get to you. If high school has taught me anything, only two things matter (the latter being less important)--what you think of yourself, and what the ones you care about think of you.
 

GhostAnime

Searching for her...
What if the person is just.. generally stupid?
 
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