Beta Reader Request(s)

[Marika_CZ]

Hello.

So after completing a short story and posting it here and on some other sites around the internet, it has become clear I will need some beta reading by native speakers next time I want to write in English (not my native language). After getting a review from Negrek, his comments inspired me for a prequel of sorts. It would be about Lillie's journey through Kanto leading to her settling there as a new gym leader (which was mentioned in her cameo in said short story I posted). The project would be larger though (novella sized actually) and would contain some twists and a powerful adversary Lillie would have to confront.

Is there anyone who has enough time (and mood for such a story) to be my beta reader?
I have no idea how busy people here are IRL so perhaps it may be a tall order...

Feel free to use the thread for your own requests if you need beta reading too. (I admit I have no idea how things work here yet. Maybe you guys prefer reacting to reviews...)

 

[lucarioknight56]

I could probably help. Depending on how often you post, I can give you feedback whenever needed. I'm still busy with my own story--which you can see in my signature--so I can't guarantee I'll be available all the time. Still, I can help.

 

[Marika_CZ]

I could probably help. Depending on how often you post, I can give you feedback whenever needed. I'm still busy with my own story--which you can see in my signature--so I can't guarantee I'll be available all the time. Still, I can help.

That's very kind of you! Thanks~

I won't be posting that one here until actually completed. The twist I am planning will require revisiting earlier chapters (and revising some parts if needed be) to avoid an a$$ pull or some heavy retcons.
I would just send you the chapters via PM (or mail, idk which you are more comfortable with).

Let me know if I can repay you in any way pls

 

[lucarioknight56]

I've had experience with a few twists, so I can help you out there. As for how I'd get your chapters, email would be preferable, as I can make comments in Word and send you the document after. Or you can just use Google Drive to share it with me. Whatever works as long as I have the ability to comment.

As for how you can repay me...well, if you'd want to read my own PMD story and drop a review every so often, that would be good. They don't have to be very long, just enough to get some thoughts in.

 

[Marika_CZ]

Alright, Word documents over the email it is. If you could just post your email address in a PM, I would start sending you the chapters eventually (I still need to polish The Missing One, and translate it to Czech).
Oh one more thing, do you want to see my notes (outline of the story, conclusion and chapter contents.... the twist itself and some heavy spoilers... yeah yeah I am an architect writer), or would you rather read it as a regular reviewer - unspoiled until finished reviewing?

As for how you can repay me...well, if you'd want to read my own PMD story and drop a review every so often, that would be good. They don't have to be very long, just enough to get some thoughts in.

I would be a colossal prick to refuse this after you were so kind Sure I will check it out. Not sure when though.

 

[lucarioknight56]

Thanks, I'll send you my email.

As for how you'd like me to proofread, that's up to you. If you want me to help you with plot points, characters, and twists, then it might be best for me to see your notes. If you just want me to check for spelling and grammar errors, then there's no need

 

[Marika_CZ]

Yes, I am more concerned with the level of my grammar. I feel confident about the plot tho.
OK then, I will simply send over the chapters once I start writing the fic. Thanks again!

 

[mgrgfan]

I need help.

One of the main problems with the story, which I'm writing now, is that it has extensive external worldbuilding notes, but I don't know, what to do with them. In fact, this story started as an a small AU idea for my other story, but grew into the decent story on its own almost immediately.

Those worldbuilding notes are pretty important to show, how some of the moments came to be - for instance, why there's a spaceship with Orion-type nuclear pulse drive in the Pokemon world, or what the one of the main two factions even is.

I'd appreciate any help on how to integrate them into the story itself (if needed). Thank you.

 

[lucarioknight56]

Hmm...well, if it proves too difficult to integrate this worldbuilding into the actual prose, you can always make a spoilered section at the top or bottom of the chapter and put inside the relevant worldbuilding information that is needed to know. I did something similar to that in another story of mine.

At Bulbagarden, we're allowed to have entire threads devoted to worldbuilding material, and there's blogs that users can make that can be repurposed into a worldbuilding thread. Given that Serebii has only recently changed to XenForo, it's understandable why that function may not be present here. Don't know what else to tell you other than that.

 

[mgrgfan]

Hmm...well, if it proves too difficult to integrate this worldbuilding into the actual prose, you can always make a spoilered section at the top or bottom of the chapter and put inside the relevant worldbuilding information that is needed to know. I did something similar to that in another story of mine.

At Bulbagarden, we're allowed to have entire threads devoted to worldbuilding material, and there's blogs that users can make that can be repurposed into a worldbuilding thread. Given that Serebii has only recently changed to XenForo, it's understandable why that function may not be present here. Don't know what else to tell you other than that.

Thanks. Not sure, if I will be able to perform something like this (giving the sizes of worldbuilding notes), but thank you for tip nonetheless.

 

[Negrek]

Hmm, it can definitely be tricky to include a lot of worldbuilding information like that. For an AU specifically, if you're worried about readers being really disoriented when they start to read and wonder about e.g. the starships, then it might be a good idea to include a brief note at the beginning of the story introducing the basic premise, like "this is Kanto after an alien invasion, and now people are trying to rebuild the League while Team Rocket attempts to take the region over for itself," or whatever. The trick is to keep it brief, like no more than a paragraph, and introduce only the major concepts necessary to grasp the basics of what's going on.

Within the story itself, I tend to favor kind of throwing the reader into the thick of things and letting them figure out from context what's going on. It may take some time for readers to piece together exactly what's up--with a faction, say, they may at first only that they're the "bad guys," based on the way characters are talking about them. Mentions of A common trick authors use is to introduce a character who's unfamiliar with the setting themselves, or who's for some reason not up on things that most ordinary people know about, who can therefore have things explained to them and therefore the audience. This has its dangers (it's really easy to pull a lot of infodumps this way), and it may not be appropriate for the story you want to tell, but it's a popular option for a reason and worth considering if you haven't. One device I overuse myself are in-world news reports that the characters can watch or even just have playing in the background while they talk about other things. Conversations are also super useful--characters gossiping, or expressing their opinions about current events, politics, and the like. A couple of characters getting into a heated debate about something can get a lot of info across! A comment like, "Yeah, and if Silph had just stuck to building crazy Pokéballs we wouldn't have a bunch of spaceships hanging over our heads!" doesn't get everything about your ships across by any means, but it gets a fair amount across without taking up too much space, and lets you develop the world gradually. There are a lot of possible approaches here, and if you're looking for guidance what might work best is picking up a couple novels (or fanfics) that have worldbuilding you admire and take a close look at how those authors got it across.

There will also probably be some information that you can't really incorporate without it being awkward and which isn't really necessary for the reader to understand to enjoy the story. Like, you might decide on where the money used in this setting is minted, or some special process that's used for it, which could be a nifty fact but might not necessarily fit anywhere. For those sorts of things it's common for authors to include sort of "bonus chapters" that talk about some of the worldbuilding details that didn't make it into the main story. For brief little facts, you could include some notes after the end of the chapter or something to introduce them.

 

[diamondpearl876]

Outside of what LK56 and Negrek already said, I’ve seen Tumblr blogs used to house worldbuilding atlases and trivia notes for fics as well. WordPress is similarly nice... especially for massive amounts of worldbuilding info, since you can customize/organize multiple pages however you like, really.

 

[mgrgfan]

Outside of what LK56 and Negrek already said, I’ve seen Tumblr blogs used to house worldbuilding atlases and trivia notes for fics as well. WordPress is similarly nice... especially for massive amounts of worldbuilding info, since you can customize/organize multiple pages however you like, really.

Well, the funny thing is, it all started on the Tumblr (actually, it started on the russian fanfiction website, but it's really obscure and not directly related to the story).

For those sorts of things it's common for authors to include sort of "bonus chapters" that talk about some of the worldbuilding details that didn't make it into the main story. For brief little facts, you could include some notes after the end of the chapter or something to introduce them.

I think I'll use it.

 

[NebulaDreams]

Hello there, just reviving this dead forum. I would like some help with some of the new chapters for The Curious and the Shiny, as I've started a new arc which has a drastically different tone to it (having a POV change which influences the writing style as well as having more introspection as opposed to immediate story), but I would like help from some of my old readers who have enjoyed it in the past to go through these new chapters. I think there's a lot that will have to be left on the cutting room floor, so I want to gauge what I should take out/add in to serve the story better. My main problem is I feel the pacing is slower, so I want to tighten it up as much as possible.

 

[mgrgfan]

If possible, I need some more help.

Right now, after a huge event, which resulted in technologically-advanced empire time-shifted from the past (setting is anime+some moments from games, time is roughly 20 or so years before the anime), along with all of its stuff in orbit (ranging from tiny, brick-sized satellites, to a huge space station, which even has centrifugal wheels for artificial gravity and is powered by parabolic solar concentrator powerplant, with nuclear reactor as a backup), cosmonauts from it have contacted Pokemon Nation's astronauts (whose station looks roughly like the "Power Tower" version of the Space Station Freedom), while back on the ground, it's quite a shitstorm.

P.S. If someone decides to help me and become my beta reader - I'll be immensely grateful.

 

[mgrgfan]

Please, if possible, I need beta, who:

1) Can help me with writing battle scenes - specificially, turning them from something, akin to summation, to the actual action/tragic/tense scenes.

2) Can gelp me on expanding personalities of characters.

3) Can help me in worldbuilding, especially since the later chapters are going to involve space exploration major time and a possible decline in Leagues' popularity.

I will be very grateful to you.

P.S. Here are the first chapters of the fanfic, which I need with.