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Bitter hope (Preview)

S

seiniyta

Beginning Trainer
The HeadQuarters of Team Rocket explodes with an untold might. Out of the ashes there comes a gas-like being free later called X-5. It is a being that seems has no feelings, no mercy and is only bent on the destruction of everything.

Preview of chapter one:

"Emergency! everyone must go to F11 NOW! this is not a test. everyone must got to.." The voice that came out of the megaphone could't finish her sentence thanks to a blast. The corridor where the grunts where running to exploded in a cloud of fire.
"What the ****?" screamed one of them. out of the cloud there appeared a purple gas. slowly floating in the air.
"Houndoom! use flametrower!" another grunt commanded to his pokémon. In a wirlwind of fire the flametrower crashed into the gas. For a few second's the could't see of that strage gas was gone, hopefully burnt away of the fire. totally unexpected by the grunts a fire was launced back to the grunts. the fire was so big it filled the whole corridor en melted it's metal in less then seconds. The grunts tried to run but with no avail.

Meanwhile, 3 floors higher

"Lock the access to the following floors: F83 to F10 Adrien!" Adrien eyes widened
"But, there are so many-"
"No buts, the people down there...for them no hope remains"[/I]Adrien wasn't the type that followed blind orders of someone. If he didn't like the idea of something he always protested. like this time.
"their is still time to evacuate them!" he almost screamed.
"FOOL! don't be naive. This being may not-"


A Apocalyptic story where the hope has fade into nothing..
Where nothing is what it seems
The main question in this story: what is the purpose of life?

Orignal title: Vluchten voor de duisternis(dutch)

©Seiniyta, 2004-2006

p.s: the story is a bit lengthy.
p.s.s: maybe my english sucks but i'll proofread and correct my chapters over and over again. I'm taking this story very seriously

coming December-January
 
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Y

Yami Ryu

Well-Known Member
... this belongs in the fanfic comercial thread as this isn't a preview. There's nothing to preview. Or maybe the idea fic but seriously, where is the preview. Outside of a few scraps of writing.
 
S

seiniyta

Beginning Trainer
hmm. I thought the commercial tread was ment for stories that were already posted but needed extra attention. oh well. hmm. let's see. I know! I will edit the first post to make it more like a peview.
Edit:placed some text but I don't want give away too much (of the storie)
 
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Y

Yami Ryu

Well-Known Member
correct formatting said:
Emergency! everyone must go to F11 NOW! this is not a test. everyone must got to.." The voice that came out of the megaphone could't finish her sentence thanks to a blast. The corridor where the grunts where running to exploded in a cloud of fire.

"What the ****?" screamed one of them. out of the cloud there appeared a purple gas. slowly floating in the air.

"Houndoom! use flametrower!" another grunt commanded to his pokémon. In a wirlwind of fire the flametrower crashed into the gas. For a few second's the could't see of that strage gas was gone, hopefully burnt away of the fire. totally unexpected by the grunts a fire was launced back to the grunts. the fire was so big it filled the whole corridor en melted it's metal in less then seconds. The grunts tried to run but with no avail.

Meanwhile, 3 floors higher

"Lock the access to the following floors: F83 to F10 Adrien!" Adrien eyes widened

"But, there are so many-"

"No buts, the people down there...for them no hope remains"[/i]Adrien wasn't the type that followed blind orders of someone. If he didn't like the idea of something he always protested. like this time.

"their is still time to evacuate them!" he almost screamed.

"FOOL! don't be naive. This being may not-"
Click to expand...

Anyways there's a few errors but outside of that. The action seems a bit bland but it is nice to finally see a newbie here that actually did try and use description :/ so kudos.
 
S

seiniyta

Beginning Trainer
Well. i'm working on my english so that may be the case. I'm not a newbie in writing. only in english writings. I consider this fanfiction as a challenge. Since I don't have english anymore in school I needed something to inprove my skills. I don't give a **** if they burn my fic into nothing. I can learn from it. This story is by the way a translation if you didn't noticed before.
 
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