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Blood Type P

Mane

Guy in a top hat
I'd just like to say that the Poochyena is adorable to the point I can't think clearly enough to write a proper review.

But man, the Pokemon are really well drawn/fleshed out.
 

orochi

Well-Known Member
Chapter Notice

A special chapter will be released on Tuesday September 10. It's my birthday that day so.......Well a friend though that it would be a great idea to make a special chapter to celebrate it. So I guess it's like me making a birthday present for myself to share with everyone. I hope you guys like it when it is released.​
 
i'm an illustration student (first year) who reads a lot of manga. i enjoy drawing with pen and i enjoy reading manga. that's where all my advice stems from. it's definitely not the most knowledgeable opinion but i hope it'll still help you.

line weight is very desu as well.
giving your lines weight makes your lines look better because thin and hard lines, by themselves look a little boring (if you ask me, anyway). a simple way to add weight is by making the lines that get hit by shadow, thicker. i assume you use a nice fineliner to do the lines, so it might be a little harder to do that. but just trace your own lines and define the shapes a little bit. (in case you can't do that or you feel you can't trace larger lines, you might want to draw using your shoulder or elbow, if you weren't already)

o_O
exaggerating elements as well as the obvious anime tricks (sweat drops, anger 'marks', popping veins, emoticon expression)might also make your characters more believable. facial expressions in particular. get something like a mirror at your desk and look at your own face acting out the emotions the protagonist is going through. that way you'll know which parts go where and you can focus on those. because if was being really blunt, i'd say your protagonist kind of looks like a furbie or some c-celebrity that has a face full of botox.

... (i feel biased)
if you drew out their expressions more, that'd also give you the chance to omit a lot more speech bubbles and to draw more detail. the panel after the protagonist tells poochyena 'stop' and poochyena stops and he turns around and looks around is what i'm talking about. that's a really nice panel because the emotion is acted out not stuffed into an unneeded speech bubble saying something like 'oh jeez, that scared me, better look and see what he wants'. i wish you did more stuff like that instead of trying to draw this like this is movie script and you need to write out even the small parts in the brackets explaining how the actors are supposed to react and feel inside because you do not. i don't believe that children are as stupid as the instructions and dialogue in modern video games, movies, books, comics and such aimed towards children, want to imply and adults in those industries seem to think.

fan-fiction section
needless to say, your art still needs improvement. but you might also want to consider posting your story in the fan fictions section to get some feedback on it because i have a feeling that it needs a bit of that.

sometimes more is more
also, i think that taking more time to draw would also be good, you're not tied to any dead lines, it's not like you get paid for this, is it? you clearly have a nice sense for adding detail as shown on your deviantART (the robo-dragon, i mean). why don't you take the time you took for making that thing and then give yourself the time you took for that one for each page. if you ask me, often when working with pen, more, is more. i understand that you want to be fast but the only thing you're improving by doing work fast (for no apparent reason) is getting faster.

i'm rude and mean.
if you don't think i'm just some rude, obnoxious guy i'll be looking forward to your next work and leaving more comments. if you think i am rude then i'll just get ouf your hair because i can understand. taking criticism isn't the most fun thing in the world and it doesn't always feel fair especially when it's coming from some no-name dude whose art you've never seen and thinks he's big stuff just because he studies illustration.

at the end of the day, however, i wrote this to help you and for me to get better at giving feedback.(/self-righteous)

i hope i did help and more importantly, good luck.
 
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