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Blue Dream

This is my first Pokemon related piece of writing. Although I don't mention them in my *short* prologue or my first chapter, trust me, this will be pokemon related.

Edit I: Corrected grammatical error with 'it's' to 'its'.

Tealtraum
Rating: PG

Unflinching white light bore its way into his eye sockets. He tried to close them, but his eyelids were non responsive. Actually, his whole body was. His head was whirring, as if he'd inhaled some kind of esoteric drug and induced a paralytical state upon himself. All he could do was think, but even that was hard. He had no idea where he was-had he been knocked out? Was his body fighting with consciousness? Even worse, was this what it felt like to be in a coma? He tried to flex a muscle, any muscle, but nothing seemed to respond to him. He felt like he was floating, paralysed through space, drifting endlessly. He should be scared, he thought to himself. His heart should be beating hard in his chest, he should be short of breath, his abdomen should be feeling sensations of fear, making the muscles of his stomach tense up an make him whince with the sharp pains it would bring. Yet he felt nothing. Nothing except perplexion, a state of sheer bliss, perhaps. Not a care, not a worry. Simply, he floated.
 
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Edit I 29/04: Spaced out paragraphs that were pasted badly from wordpad.


Chapter One

Rain bore down on the windows of the Exeter University's main lecture hall, as Professor Mandrake Moreau acknowledged his students departing in an orderly fashion. The lecture had been like any other. Professor. Moreau's field was Ancient Archaeology. Moreau was a man of high distinction in his field, and his students would always thank him after lectures. As the last of them left, Mandrake started to sift through his papers and tidy his stand. This lecture had covered most of his curriculum to date, it was something of a summary. Summer was approaching fast, and he would soon take his leave. For Mandrake, that meant long evenings in his house alone. He had lived that way for several years, probably over a decade now.

Moreau stopped his tidying, and bowed his head for a moment. The realisation of another long summer alone hit him, in one moment. Days and nights spent in solemn silence. He couldn't turn on the television, it still reminded him of her. The radio only played the new songs now, and the old songs reminded him of her too. Instead, he would read voraciously to pass the time. His whole life would be put on hold as he ventured into adventure, intrigue and horror novels. Often he'd cite these in his lectures as a means of getting points across. His A. Conan Doyle quips were always met with warm reception, especially, from his more educated students. Besides, it was nice to get away from the drear of talking about ancient civilisation sometimes.

Yet, despite the benefits of reading, what Moreau craved the most was human contact. To the untrained eye, Moreau was a vivacious, lively man who loved the spotlight, who revelled in being a font of knowledge. A man who considered his experience and intellect were a gift to those around him. However, he was a shell of a man. Outside of his lectures, and the daily, and in his mind banal banter of the staff room, he had no life to speak of. Another summer alone was his own idea of a personal Hell.

Head still hung, Moreau heard the creak of the wooden door to the lecture hall, and quickly put a hand over his chin, giving the impression his posture represented thought rather than despair. He tried to look oblivious, and deep in thought, as he heard two light feet cross the shiny wooden floor, and a quaint little cough by his side. He held one finger in the air, pretending to finish a sentence on a page before him, or a chain of thought in his head, and then straightened himself up, looking towards the source of the sound.

Before him stood a tall, attractive woman. It was Alessa Marie. Alessa was a mature student, about 27. She often came by and asked him questions after lectures, or stayed behind to thank him at length for explaining that one niggle in Ancient Egyptian Religion that had troubled her the same week. Behind her long black hair, Alessa hid a beautiful smile, and a pair of deep, teal eyes. The kind of eyes that could get a man into trouble. The kind that could break a man's heart. Yet, before Professor Moreau, she almost seemed to conceal them, peering through strands of her long dark hair and looking quite inferior, as if at any moment she would bow her head and courtsy to the Professor. It had been so long since he had experienced any contact with a woman, though, that the Professor was pretty much oblivious to this.

"Ms. Marie. It's good to see you. What brings you here?" Moreau furrowed his brow as he looked up towards the attractive young lady, looking over his glasses at her in a look purely plutonic.

"Mandrake, sorry- Professor Moreau-" Alessa stumbled hopelessly, not finding her words. Moreau frowned, this level of communication difficulty being quite unusual from the outgoing young lady.

"What is it Ms. Marie? Is everything okay? Would you like me to go over any of the points from today's lecture?"

"No, no sir...I mean Professor, it's just I..Well. No, no, this is wrong. I'm sorry, I'm wasting your time Professor. I'm very sorry."

The Professor frowned again, his student's words seeming uncommon and perplexing. He stacked his papers and set them inside a large red ringbinder, and walked from the podium, putting a hand on Alessa's shoulder and leading her towards a set of benches in the ovular lecture hall. The girl almost yelped as his hand touched her shoulder, but stifled herself. Moreau was oncemore oblivious. Alessa sat down first, her legs crossed and her position upright and stiff, as if she were a child sat behaving herself on her mothers orders to 'be polite at your friends house'. Moreau sat a couple of spaces to her left, and turned himself to face the woman. Oncemore, Alessa did her best to hide behind her hair and avoid eye contact with the Professor.

Moreau took his glasses from his face, and folded them up neatly, tucking them into the pocket of his plaid white shirt and raising his eyebrows at the woman before him.

"Now, Miss Marie, this is quite unlike you. What seems to be troubling you?"

"Well Professor, I was wondering..Haha.." Alessa started to laugh, then stopped herself. She started to play with her long hair, folding it behind her ear to one side, revealing her face to the Professor, quite inadvertantly, and started to twist and brush the other side with her hand nervously. Moreau caught her gaze in one instant, and her eyes locked with his momentarily, before she snapped her head forwards and looked at the parallel wall apologetically. The Professor felt an odd feeling inside him in that moment, something he hadn't felt in a long time. He couldn't put his finger on what it was, but it made him feel good, with a tinge of foreboding accompanying the sensation. His heart beat faster. He let out a small cough, covering his mouth with the outside of the fore and index fingers of his right hand. He spoke again, and Alessa's gaze snapped to the floor as his words came out.

"Ms. Marie, I'm quite sure I don't know the joke."

"I'm sorry, Professor." She started to fidget and look at her hands, like a child.

"But I've not done this before. I'm a little apprehensive."

"Ms. Marie, there is no need for apprehension around me. I'm quite lathargic. I'm sure you couldn't offend me with whatever it is that's on your mind. Have my lectures been too comprehensive as of late?"

"No!" Alessa looked quite shocked with the suggestion.

"Your lectures are always perfect, Professor Moreau."

Moreau composed himself, and tried not to let his head swell.

"Thank you, Ms. Marie."

"Please Professor, call me Alessa."

"Very well. Well, if we are being informal, you may call me Mandrake. Now, what is it that you needed me for?"

Mandrake deliberately left the business end of his sentence at the end, giving the impression he had to be somewhere. The woman was making him nervous, whatever she was making him feel, he didn't like it. Alessa looked at his left knee, unable to meet his gaze, as she responded softly, lowering her voice and sounding almost sexual, another fact which was lost on the Professor, who was hopelessly out of touch after all these years.

"I was wondering...If you would like to join me for a drink in the summer?"

The professor started and almost fell off his chair. He'd been expecting an in depth analysis of the Egyptian Sun Cult, or another of those half baked 'alternative theories' thrown his way. But instead this...He didn't know what to say. In an instant, the tables were turned. He became the stuttering, nervous wreck, and she became the voice of reason in the empty lecture hall.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked, it's not decent. You must have a wife, a family, I should have thought...I'm sorry Professor Moreau. I'm very sorry. I'll leave-I'm very sorry for interrupting you."

Maybe not. Alessa was still a wreck, just an apologetic one. Moreau stuttered, but managed to get his words out.

"Ms. Marie, that is an interesting proposal..And I will consider it. I presume you still have the contact number I gave out for those needing help with revision?"

"I do."

"Well, that is my home phone number. If you call me in the holidays, I will try and organise something."

"Brilliant! I will speak to you soon then...Mandrake." Alessa let his name linger on her tongue, managing to catch his eye as she got to her feet and walked slowly towards the door. Both parties felt the same feeling in this moment, a feeling of foreboding, yet a pleasurable one. Alessa turned to wave, as she left the room. Mandrake watched her, and almost called out 'Goodbye Ms. Marie' in her wake, but stopped himself as the door closed. As it clicked shut on its hinges, he looked around in disbelief, and realised he needed to exhale. His heart was beating fast now, as if it had waited until it was safe to reveal itself. Mandrake was alone again, now, alone with his thoughts and the sound of rain beating against the windows around the lecture hall. He looked to one of them, and outside it to the vibrantly green willow trees, dripping with rainwater but never losing their colour... This image would stay with him for a long time to come.
 
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Cheers Ratiosu!
 
Just an advance note-The brief daydream is deliberately short and undetailed, so as to get across its' fleeting nature.

There is one profane word used in this chapter, please be aware of this before reading.

Edit I: Corrected grammatical error with 'it's' to 'its'.

Chapter Two

Alessa Marie stood looking somewhat bedraggled in the pouring rain. She'd just left the University for the last time this curricular year, and was now waiting for the inner city bus to take her home. She mused over the day in her mind. She'd just asked her 53 year old Professor of Ancient archaeology out for a drink. Her hands were still slightly shaky.

Alessa leaned backwards on the bus shelter, raising her right leg and using her foot for balance. She checked her watch, which read off as ten minutes before her bus was due. She groaned and went to sit inside the shelter, but as she moved inside, a voice called out her name.

"Alessa!"

The voice was female, and familiar in its tone. Alessa emerged from the shelter, and saw a young woman before her. It was Patricia Ellis, better known as Trish. Trish couldn't possibly look more like a 'typical blonde stereotype', even in the rain. She wore an unsightly pink jacket, and a skirt three sizes too small. Her hair was tied up into two pigtails, which reduced her years and made her look like an innocent, cute little girl to those who didn't know her. Alessa wasn't even sure of Trish's age herself. Being a mature student, Alessa didn't have the benefit of sharing fraternities with the other students. She didn't dorm with them, and only really socialised before and after classes. But Trish couldn't be more than twenty one, she just looked so young. Even to Alessa.

"Trish, hey." Alessa smiled, and greeted the young woman with a damp hug.

"How did it go with old Mandrake?" Trish looked enthusiastic, but Alessa knew her true intentions in asking. Gossip. It was what made the campus tick, and as far as Trish went, it was what made her tick. Alessa let her abdomen tense up, and released it again before responding.

"It went well, Trish. He's agreed to meet me. I just hope I don't cause any trouble for him."

Trish's eyes lit up, and Alessa instantly knew she'd made a mistake. Trish had a scent of scandal, now. Alessa could literally see an imaginary wife and children chasing her from town in Trish's mind. The worst part for Alessa was that she didn't even know if they existed. The professor had never mentioned them.

"He's married, Alessa? Oh deary me." Deary me was Trish's phrase of choice for most things. She raised her eyebrows and pouted a little at Alessa, hoping for a reaction.

"I don't know, Trish. Honestly, I don't. I really hope he doesn't, I wouldn't want to cause him any trouble." Alessa was floundering for the second time that day, and knew she was doing it. She wasn't herself at all. She'd slipped up in suggesting a problem, and in her vain attempts to go back on what she'd said, she was only digging a deeper grave for herself. She could almost sense Trish salivating and licking her lips as she looked to the Heavens thoughtfully. The rain was still falling around them, and Trish had taken tactical cover inside the shelter for the duration of the conversation. Alessa just stood outside, letting the rain soak her as if she was punishing herself for a sin she wasn't sure she'd even committed.

"I don't know, 'Less. I don't understand why you don't just go for one of the guys around here. Most would love to be with an older woman."

Alessa looked in the opposite direction to Trish, and physically let herself look disbelieving of the young girl's crude outlook. She recomposed herself and looked at the young woman.

"I bet you always wanted a toy boy, 'Less. Didn't ya?"

Trish got to her feet and poked Alessa playfully. Alessa smiled a little, but felt very uncomfortable in the moment. She floundered in her mind for a way to say no without offending Trish and making her sound as common as she was.

"I just want someone I can talk to...You know?" She felt somewhat relieved at finding the right words. Of course, Trish wouldn't even understand what she meant- she only knew how to get a guy, she didn't know the meaning of the word 'relationship', but at least she understood herself.

"You need to live a little! Save that settling down rubbish for when you're old and crooked! Have fun while you still can, 'Less. Believe me, it's the only way to be. I mean, look at me!" Trish stepped back and spread her arms out, as if she were a model posing on the front of a women's magazine. She saw herself as as good as she could be, but Alessa saw her as something quite alien. She was outgoing and self centered. She was only interested in fun, she flunked lectures on a whim, and she would most likely end up with a bad job supporting 5 kids, while her husband was with his new partner on some estate.

Alessa's pragmatism was probably exagerrated, but she felt it nevertheless. Alessa was not the same kind of person Trish was. Trish was simple, but Alessa was not. She prided herself on that. She wasn't 'easy'.

"Hey, why don't you forget that old relic and come out with me and the girls tonight?" Trish looked enthusiastic and bounced as her brainwave met with her vocal chords.

"Believe me, I would if I could, but I have to get this coursework done."

"Oh come on! You have ALL summer for that. You can't stay inside with books the whole time, 'Less. Come on, liven up."

Alessa grimaced within her subconscious mind. Yeah, she said to herself. I'm so sure that going out, getting paralytic on alcohol over the legal limit and being sick in the gutter is going to get me somewhere in life.

"No, really. If I start the holidays partying, I'll end them partying, and I'll never have an in-between. I'm sorry Trish, maybe when I am done, I'll be able to go out."

The girl looked disappointed for an instant, then snapped back to her usual bouncy self, noticing the bus arrive behind Alessa. Trish bounded past Alessa and leapt onto the bus, and Alessa followed with rather less enthusiasm, her mind elsewhere. She was off home, to her books. To her private thoughts, and to thoughts of him. She took to her seat, and looked back at the university through the window, the rain clouding her vision, and the lighting casting her own reflection over the image with unusual clarity.

A pair of teal-hued eyes met her gaze as she watched the University disappear behind her. A pair of sad, incomplete, and lonely eyes that said more to her than words ever could. She gazed into those eyes for a few moments; they were hers, of course, but they seemed to speak to her, as if telling secrets even her mind didn't dare allow to surface from the depths of her subconscious mind. She disappeared into a daydream that revealed rolling fields in the corneas of those eyes, and the more she watched, the clearer it became. A small building appeared on those rolling hills, it was quaint and thatched. She opened the door, and out he stepped, Mandrake, clad in a smart suit, his arms outstretched towards her. She reached out to touch him, but as she did, she felt a hand grip her shoulder, and take her from the moment.

"Alessa? Hey, 'Less. We're at your stop."

Alessa opened her eyes, and realised she was slouched forwards, her head between her legs, and she'd been asleep the whole time. In a haze, she acknowledged Trish and stepped off the bus. Trish was shouting something after her, but it was muffled and she made no conscious effort to hear it. Concrete suburbia met her as she touched down on the pavement. A sense of disappointment hit her. Seconds ago, she'd been in a place beyond perfection, but now she was back in the 'real world'. F***, she thought. Why did I have to wake up? She did her best not to glare as she glanced with malice back at the bus. Trish was waving and implying with her body language that Alessa should give her a call. Ha, ha, ha, Alessa said to herself. From now on, Trish's face would be a reminder of everything she loathed, and everything she desired. Alessa forced a wave, and turned her back on the girl as the bus drove off.
 
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Edit I: Corrected grammatical error with 'it's' to 'its'.

Chapter Three
'Debbie'


[Teal: A colour found roughly between blue and green. Green being the colour of the lifeforce; representing the simalcrum of Earth itself, the mortal coil, and, adversely, blue being the colour of sorrow, of chaos, of incohesion. Teal represents a stage between the two...A spiritual balance in the ether of life. The ephemeral ocean.]

Mandrake lived in a small, riverside cottage. It had been his and Debbie's dream home many years ago. They'd poured their lives into buying it. She was a teacher in a local school at the time, and Mandrake had been the curator of a local museum. They'd often strolled down the river of an evening and gone past the cottage, and dreamt it was theirs. One September morning, that dream had come to fruition. They'd walked past it like any other day, but a tall yellow, ungainly sign stood to the left of the small wooden gate outside the back garden, displaying the words 'For Sale'. Debbie had almost wept with joy, and vowed that it would be 'their task to make it presentable again', ie. by buying the cottage and removing the sign. Mandrake was obstinate about the price at the time, but in truth, he was as excited as his wife at the prospect of ownership. He toyed with her for a while, not to a hurtful extent, but just playfully, leaving her on tenterhooks as to whether he would put an offer in for it or not. The night he brought home the deeds, she'd embraced him like never before.

Mandrake walked through that gate alone now. The garden was overgrown, it wasn't a mess, but the grass reached the heights of his shins as he walked along the slate paving stones he and Debbie had so lovingly laid one summer. He glanced towards the pond in the eastern corner of the garden, it was filled with algae and muddy water. Thank God they never bought fish, he thought to himself. Why they never had, he couldn't remember. He averted his gaze to the back door of his house, and withdrew his keys, selecting the correct one and opening the door.

The cottage was Victorian, but had a Tudoresque feel to it. The wooden gables were a sight to see. The ceilings were low and Mandrake had to duck every time he changed rooms. From the outside, it was paradise. Inside, it looked like paradise. And yet, it felt empty. Empty without Debbie.

Mandrake sighed and poured himself a cup of tea, walking into the living room and settling on his favourite armchair. The living room was perfectly kept. He made sure of it. Debbie had loved to keep the house tidy. She prided herself on it. Often she would invite guests around and not even tell him. In fact this was generally due to the fact they invited themselves around to sample some of her bakery, and she didn't even have advance warning herself. She made the most delicious cakes. Mandrake closed his eyes, resting his head on the headrest and letting his conscious mind wonder. He could smell her cooking. The time was 17:30. It was around this time that she would bring him a warm soup on a tray, along with a cup of tea, and they would chat about their days respectively. She finished work an hour or so before him ordinarily, and he always made the effort to cook when weekends rolled around as means of recompense.

He opened his eyes. He liked to daydream, but that smell was too real for him. He felt the hairs on his arms stand up, and set his mug on the oaken table before him, looking around, as if waiting for a phantom cook to appear. Of course, no such entity appeared. The smell left as quickly as it came, and he placed its existance in the back of his mind, blaming his overactive imagination. A blessing, maybe. Afterall, he was alone with his thoughts now. They may as well be good ones, right? He tried to convince himself that being alone was a good thing. Debbie was his true love, he could never love again. He had never even considered it. His libido had honestly ceased to exist the moment she left his life. He just didn't see the point in loving again. He would feel like he was betraying her memory. An old friend had once told him, three, four, maybe five years ago, that he needed to love again. That Debbie wouldn't want him to be lonely. But he wasn't lonely, he told him. Debbie was always with him. He always carried her in his heart. That was enough for him, why should he need more?

Mandrake was old fashioned in a lot of ways, he disliked profanity, and he believed in traditional values; those things your grandparents swore existed in their day, but seemed wasted on the youth of the modern generation. He felt almost out of place within modern society. In the same vein, he believed in the sanctity of marriage. How could a man teach Ancient Religion, marry a Christian Angel, and defile the vows he committed himself to?

'Till death do us part' He thought to himself. He assumed people would make that quip towards him, and already had his deflectory comment prepped and ready. Until he was dead, the vow wasn't fulfilled. That was what he vowed, he reassured himself. To love, and to remain true, until death. Besides..he hadn't gotten married in a church because he wanted to impress his wife. He believed in a higher power. He believed in an afterlife. He believed he'd see Debbie again. He prayed he'd see her again. He longed to see her again. He would see her again. Death was only the beginning. Right?

Mandrake leaned backwards, and closed his eyes. Somewhere, across town, Alessa Marie was doing the exact same thing.




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Going to take a break from writing tonight. I'd appreciate feedback if possible. Chapter four will mark the introduction of pokemon to the plot. I've deliberately left it late so as to build up the main characters a little better.
 
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Seiryu

Resident dragon
Hey there! I saw your thread in the Authors' Cafe, so I thought I might drop a review.

First of all, there's a reason you haven't received much feedback. No, you aren't technically doing anything wrong, but you only put this up less than six hours ago and you already have three chapters! It takes a little while for a lot of fics to really get noticed around here. Lots of authors might go for days without a single review, and as this is your first work (and therefore you're not particularly well-known around here) you can't really expect people to jump all over it. Be patient and give it time; I'm sure you'll get more readers and reviews.

Second, I would suggest a little bit more revision. It seems you have a couple of problems with the whole "it's vs. its" issue:
prologue said:
Unflinching white light bore it's way into his eye sockets.
chapter 2 said:
The voice was female, and familiar in it's tone.
chapter 3 said:
The smell left as quickly as it came, and he placed it's existance in the back of his mind, blaming his overactive imagination.
I found all of the instances I could, and the bolded words should actually be the other version of the word. A bit of advice for this: if you're not sure which to use, separate it into "it is." If that separated phrase fits in with the rest of the sentence, then add the apostrophe. If it doesn't fit, then no apostrophe is necessary.

I found a couple of minor spelling problems and places where I feel some things could be worded a little bit differently, too. I don't feel like pointing everything out right now, but if you want I'd be willing to take some time and PM you some corrections and suggestions.

Another thing: it may be that my absolute tiredness is getting to me, but do you think you could point out where (if) you described Professor Moreau? If you didn't, then might I suggest letting us know what he looks like, at least a little?

It's obvious that the actual story has yet to pick up. I'm intrigued to know what happens to really start the plot, though if you could, hold off a little bit on posting chapter four, maybe a day or two, and see how many reviews you get.
 

Astinus

Well-Known Member
Hello there you! Well, now I get to read a bit of your writing!

I knew you're a prolific author...but really! Give people time to read your first few chapters(what you already have posted), and see how things go.

You really did a job building up these two characters. Each chapter focused on one or the other, giving readers a clearer look into their minds and what-not.

I don't have much to say on this. I'm better at pointing out what's wrong...so if I don't say much, take it as a good sign. ^^ Or take it as I'm too tired to really make much sense.
 
Thanks to you both for the comments. I will try and stay away from my keyboard a while and let people reply.

There's a reason I haven't described the Professor yet, and it all really comes into play during the story-I'm glad you picked up on that.

I haven't got a spell checker on my laptop (I am using wordpad) so the it's/its mistakes are mainly due to habit talking on MSN. I am aware of the distinction between the two, thank you for pointing them out to me, I will go and edit them and also spot my typos...

Thanks to you both for commenting, and pointing out my errors in both pieces :)
 
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