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Bona Petite (one-shot)

M

metagrossEX

Guest
The tanar'ri looked across the fires of the nine hells with gowing hunger, the primal hunger to devour, to rend, to drain. He was not a mane, for the bloated demons were at the bottom of this hellish heirachy. Nor was he a demon lord, the dark things only desiring to return to the prime material plane. No, he was of the many unclassified tanar'ri, With a Ram's upper body, and a serpent's below, he was a primal beast, devoid of intellect, only the desire to eat, eat and rend.

The fiend, crimson and ebony black, began it's descent into the lower jagged cliffs of the fifth hell, hardly making a sound, stalking a straying imp, too imersed in his master's assignments to be paying it self any atention. "Let youse see my mushwoom, the big ones ups there, masters wants it? Masters be verys happys whens I show dem dis!" the stupid imp muttered. Suddenly, the imp felt a prick slightly below his left wing. Then he knew no more.

The fiend, his hunger insatiable, looked around in amazement. There were several lesser demons around him, fangs bared, and claws unsheathed. The demon didn't mind. He had just gotten a free lunch. Snarling, he whiped hid black tail around, ensaring one, and burrowing into it's body, eating, eating and growing. The other beings around him istantly fell upon him, in the apparnt moment of weakness. But that was their mistake. Smoldering from the warmth of it's last meal, our fiend merely had to touch an opponent to instantly turn it into some harmless ashes, absorbing them with a touch.

By now, the demon lords of the fifth hell had heard of this "little fly" and resolved to crush it. But they had brought certain doom upon themselves. *Burp*

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WOW! that was the shortest one-shot I ever came up with!
 

Yami Ryu

Well-Known Member
... and by old rule standards that would be spam :/

Overall .. this could have been good but well, it just fell. Squashed. Know what I mean? You could have delved a bit deeper and all that if the one shot was longer. But man, this is barely just at the acceptable length for a prologue.

:/ it doesn't help because you made it so short that the information given, still can leave people wtf/clueless as to what the hell you're on about.
 
M

metagrossEX

Guest
yea i know..I suck at writing long..being a fifth grader and all]
 

chrisivy

Well-Known Member
You could do better.
 
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