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Boy Oh Boy [PG-12]

BlazingCold

Well-Known Member
Never can stay off the fic section. Got hella bored today so I decided to post this. A brief on the characters:
Mason
An average sized, brown haired boy with a buzz on the sides, and hair on top. Picked Totodile as his starter.
Harper
An average 2013 twelve year old. Short, kinda red face with blue eyes and long blond hair. Picked Snivy as her starter.

1. Spruce

Spruce
BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

An alarm clock rang as Mason drowsily woke up. He rubbed his eyes and took himself out of bed.

“I need to get to the laboratory by 8:30,” he said. As he took off his gray and red plaid pajamas he put on a pair of jeans and a baby blue collared shirt. Running down the creaky hall way and slipping down the steep wooden steps he fixed himself a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. He took the bowl over to the couch where he turned on his small TV onto channel 18.

“Welcome to the Trainers Universe! I’m your host, Gary Oak and today I’ll be showing you how battles are performed at the Trainers Universe!” his television bolted back at him. ‘Ugh. Not this host again’ thought Mason, swirling around his cereal in the milk. Then he remembered he had to make it to the lab soon.

Tossing his bowl into the sink he ran to the front door. Sliding on his slip-on Vans he started to walk to the laboratory. A long walk proceeded him as posters for ice cream to the GameStation6 were on the walls. Then as he walked by Brianna’s Beauty Bikinis he walked into the laboratory.

“Well hello there, Mason,” said a feminine voice from the back of the dark room, “Mind turning the lights on”

The lights unveiled a room with lots of pokemon and a beautiful brown haired woman standing in the center. She had green eyes and was wearing a beautiful blue dress and heels. Mason had never seen her in person so he stared at her in awe before walking up to her.
“Well, I see you’re a tad late today, Mason,” the beautiful woman said.

“I’m not late. You said in the email to be here by eight thirty,” he replied.

“Ah – seven thirty little guy. I only hav-,”

“WAIT WAIT!”. A small girl ran in the room with running shoes and daisy dukes on.

“And who may you be?” asked the professor.

“Hi, I’m Harper and I wanted to receive a pokemon today,” the young girl said.

Two cute girls in one room? SCORE!’ thought Mason.

“Well lucky you. I’m Professor Spruce and I’ve got two pokemon left.”

“What pokemon are they?” asked a tomato-faced Mason.

“Two clumsy pokemon. I had 7 pokemon and here’s the last two,” she said opening the pokeballs.

Two pokemon appeared. The one on the left had a smug grin and was green. He/She looked like a naughty pokemon, but was also very cute. The second pokemon was running in circles and seemed clumsy. It was a blue alligator with red spikes on his back and sharp teeth.

“Mason, since you got here first you may pick either Snivy or Totodile. Hurry up because I got to get going.”

“Hmm,” Mason was making a hard choice here, because whoever he chose would be his partner and pal. But eventually his decision came down to the one he liked the first out of the ball.

“I’ll take the blue alligator thing,” replied Mason.

“You’ve picked Totodile then. Here’s your pokedex which I assume you already know how to function?”

“Yes mam.”

“Alright now you’re done. See you later, Mason.”

“Good bye Professor Spruce.”

A good day for Mason, not bad. He wandered around,
wondering where to go before Harper came running back at her.

“Heeeeeeeeeeeeey Mason!” said Harper.

Mason turned around to his surprise to see the blonde haired girl. “Oh hey Harper,” he replied back, blushing.

“So, you know Mason, this has been on my mind since I’ve met you. When I moved her last year, I didn’t really get to know you that well, even though we were neighbors. I wanted to become friends with you but you didn’t even know my name. I was hopeless until today. So basically what I wanted to ask is – um –,”

Mason’s usually white face turned into a tomato. He had always known Harper’s name and always liked her. But Mason never really had the balls to talk to her before today.

“So what were you gonna say?” Mason mumbled.

“I wanted to ask if you wanted to travel with me through the region. Because I, I don’t really have anyone else to travel with,” said Harper.

“I’d be glad to,” replied Mason.

“Awesome!” screamed Harper. “Let’s get going as soon as possible. I’m going to pack my bag!”

Even though he didn’t show it on the outside, Mason was excited to travel with Harper. He walked home, packed up, told his mom who was reluctant at first but then yes, she let him go.

Mason then walked over to Harper’s house. It was a faint baby blue and had 3 stories. She could hear some typical teenager girl music blaring from her room. He knocked on the front door.

“Ready to go?” asked Harper.

“Never been more ready!” replied Mason.
 

Ivoright

I am back! Probably.
I don't think this was not presented very well... It doesn't feel very unique.
The Wake-Up Opening. I think that this should be avoided, unless important things happen in the house or bedroom.
Late to the Professor: Not everyone is tardy! And receiving a Pokémon as a gift from a scientist is very cliché. Perhaps have the character(s) have their Pokémon before the story begins?

I think you should read the Advice for Aspiring Authors sticky. It will help more than I can.
 
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